How Manipulators Take Control in Personal Relationships

This is an excellent introduction to the tactics of an emotional manipulator. It's quick and to the point, which it needs to be for its purposes. This book is meant to give people an eye opener, and it surely does. Here's the big question: "does my significant other do a bunch (if not all) of these 30 tactics, and do I feel I have no control of my own life and unsure where the relationship stands because of these things?" If you can answer yes, then you're with an individual who is emotionally manipulating you and you should consider running as fast as you can! This is abuse and it will take away your self-respect and change who you are.

I highly recommend this quick read, as it could help people come out of the fog of emotional abuse.

When getting out of the puppet masters grip it can be difficult to get your brain thinking clearly. Just when you think you know how to see these people, one can enter so slyly- and it’s easy to get drawn back into another toxic relationship. i read this book yesterday and it is a keeper. I think all high school students should be required to read this before entering the big world. This book is short and to the point!!! It is something you can reread to make sure you stay sharp. I’m starting a program to help women who face emotional abuse healing. This is required reading for the program!

I have read multiple books on abusive relationships and NPD in order to discover what I'm actually dealing with, knowing it's not been normal.

This book covered everything so succinctly and could've saved me so much time had I found it earlier.

My only wish is that there was a chapter on extricating yourself from a relationship like this. I finally have but not without huge cost emotionally and psychologically.

What I will say is that if you find yourself being treated in this way, you have my sympathy. It would seem easy to leave but being treated like this leaves one a broken down shell of their former selves. Please know you are strong and the person you were before is still in there. GET. OUT. NOW.

A quick read, this book is invaluable information for EVERYONE. Once read you'll recognize manipulative tactics in both business and personal matters. If concerned your involved w a manipulative person this book will make recognizing their tactics a snap; so much so I was embarrassed didn't see the obvious. At the end there are ~12 questions to help determine if your partner is likely manipulative. It's wonderful to have the affirmation you're not crazy; this book is a 1st step toward renewed self esteem & happiness. It's presented in a very organized, concise manner. Be sure to keep it handy; I referenced until memorized each tactic.

Only disappointment is it doesn't address how the Victim can disarm the Manipulator. If it included this info would have rated 5 stars.

Knowing what happened is an important step in a healing process. This book is tremendous for cutting through the confusion of emotional abuse, which can be bewilderinglying covert. If you find yourself nodding yes through the chapter on the 19 signs that you might be a target, recognizing how a manipulator operates in 30 ways will help you to be aware, and once you become aware, the tactics will become less and less effective against you. This book is a great tool for those who are ready to break free.

This very short read was very concise and to the point - exactly what most people need to hear right away when in the middle of a debilitating manipulative relationship. It's fine to indulge in a several hundred page manual dissecting every aspect of a manipulator, but this book was able to sum it all up in less than 50 pages.

Having several other books on the topic, this was a wonderful departure. This small manual is filled with more information, frankly, then page 200+ of the current book that I'm reading on the same subject.

Kudos to the author for putting together a truly valuable reference manual that really cuts to the chase, and helps to dissolve some of the feelings you may not be able to put into words otherwise!

This was an excellent resource for me at a critical time in my life. My daughter is clearly newly Married to a narcissistic personality who has made me question my perceptions and doubt my sanity. Now I understand him, her and myself much better and can begin to see a way forward. This book was invaluable to me and I recommend it to anyone new to the narcissistic personality and the damage that can be done to the trusting and naive when they are unaware.

In metropolitan practice seeing lots of psychopathology for two plus decades. But I needed this refresher for MY life!
Clear, concise, to the point and on target.
Everything one needs to identify the behavior in a concrete way..and hopefully extricate oneself from toxic relationships..not limited to intimate ones.
Fellow readers, if you identify with this book,
do seek emotional and/or spiritual counseling
and do not allow yourself to be victimized.
Bravo to the Author.

Quick and to the point. The author hits on all the tactics used by these blood suckers. If you're wondering IF you know someone like this, then read this book. It explains plainly and exactly their MO. It's not a book about how to counter or relieve yourself from the situation. Its purely informational. I know that I kept checking off in my head what was familiar. And you will too. Yep......check.....oh ya.....exactly...

A friend gave me this book when we both realized that I had been involved with a BPD narcissist. What a frightening experience it is! I wish I had had these handy "tips" a year ago when I met this manipulative nightmare of a "person." Now I think I can spot them right away and RUN. Thank you to the author for helping me to recognize the truth -- am happy to report that I did find my way out without too much damage.

I wish I read it while the "relationship" was unveiling, and I was experiencing all kinds of tactics described in this book. I recognize at least 80% of my ex. This book helps understanding what was happening and soothes the persistent shame and self-blaming. I realize now why it is taking me so long to recover. For this was not a typical break up. This was a traumatic bonding and emotional abuse. I grew closer to the abuser as the traumatic bond grew stronger. Excellent points. Shocker indeed and a wake-up call. Will help me healing. Thank you.

I read this on AB Admin's site before she put a price tag on it. It's pretty good info. The only problem I have with the information and warnings is the fact that she is coming from a very biased place. She got involved with a man who she said stole her heart. No, he didn't steal her heart. Nobody held a gun to her head. She gave it blindly but willingly thinking and hoping and wishing she was about to get something in return for having done so. It's always about getting something in return. It's about putting someone on a pedestal to worship them (which you should never do) in order that they will thank you (i.e., worship you in return) for worshiping them. Most people can't handle that *high* place of *honor." When you put certain people on a pedestal you can be sure they'll eventually be looking DOWN on you, or worse, p*ssing on you because to be worshiped by people can be addictive, be they male or female. I wish she were more fair in that women have made men exactly what they are because of their neediness and desire to be worshiped. If being worshiped wasn't part of the deal of giving something as precious as your values up (You see all these kingdoms? I'll give them all to you if you'll just fall down and worship me!), then most would do a double take.

I was glad I found the information but as a woman, I had to admit to myself that the only reason I got my heart stolen over and over and over again was because I was desperate for approval. And I thank God that He used the men in my life to do the very things the writer claims manipulators do on purpose (I just think she gives people WAY too much credit) to knock some sense into me. I'm not going to be hardened by any of that. I'm going to thank God that now I know, I was wrong. I was putting the unholy in the place of the holy. That's what all insecure, desperate people do. Nobody has to twist our arms.

It might not be a very lengthy book, but it truly has some thought-provoking information and it was very helpful to me, and obviously to others, men and women alike, most of which one can really only see in hindsight - hindsight's 20/20 vision. You have to have been "there" in order for this information to be of benefit.

I would caution readers that you will be unpleasantly surprised to find that you played just as big a part in your own heartbreak as the one to whom you claim broke it. If you can read it and find forgiveness and healing rather than hatred, then the information she gives here has done what it was intended to do.

I wish all of you well on your healing journey.

Gina

This helped me realize that my ex was indeed being very manipulative, although I unsure of whether or not he's aware he's doing it. This book talks mostly about people who intensionally manipulate to gain power, but I found it very useful in my situation as well. Even though the relationship is and was over when I read this, it really helped me to validate my choice to end it.

I was surprised to find that the more I read, the more I was filling in the blanks with my bosses name, not my husband's. Eye-opening and helpful. I look forward to reading her other book now; Boundaries: How to love again...

I read this as part of Prime member's free reading, a loan. Going to buy this now so that I may remember when my boundaries are being intruded, and to give this list to people I care about. Manipulators are attracted to people they instinctively know they can manipulate.

The premise introduced in the beginning has a serious flaw, that being if you experience any of a long list of feelings/events, you are being manipulated. The list includes all kinds of imbalanced, insecure behavior that is the responsibility of the reader, not the partner who is allegedly manipulating the reader to elicit those feelings. I'm concerned that this book will contribute to turning troubled people into larger victims, as opposed to helping them understand their role in their feelings and the events.

This approximately 30-page "book-lette" is a good place to start if you are or were ever involved with a manipulative (abusive) person. The author breaks down a fistful of behaviors into separate bullet-point paragraphs wherein she succinctly describes each manipulative "issue", giving examples as needed.
Nice, clear writing, very few typos or other errors, short and sweet, nothing hysterical or hyper. This is a little gem, a concise beauty that is very easy to read.
Brava! :-)
I'm looking forward to reading more of this writer's work on any subject whatsoever!

This short and direct work is worth your time. In many lives people get worked over without ever knowing it. Some of us are used by "friends" over and over yet we don't see it. This book points out a lot of things we should be very aware of in order for successful relationships.
Well done.

Quick and to the point. The author hits on all the tactics used by these blood suckers. If you're wondering IF you know someone like this, then read this book. It explains plainly and exactly their MO. It's not a book about how to counter or relieve yourself from the situation. Its purely informational. I know that I kept checking off in my head what was familiar. And you will too. Yep......check.....oh ya.....exactly...

A friend gave me this book when we both realized that I had been involved with a BPD narcissist. What a frightening experience it is! I wish I had had these handy "tips" a year ago when I met this manipulative nightmare of a "person." Now I think I can spot them right away and RUN. Thank you to the author for helping me to recognize the truth -- am happy to report that I did find my way out without too much damage.

I wish I read it while the "relationship" was unveiling, and I was experiencing all kinds of tactics described in this book. I recognize at least 80% of my ex. This book helps understanding what was happening and soothes the persistent shame and self-blaming. I realize now why it is taking me so long to recover. For this was not a typical break up. This was a traumatic bonding and emotional abuse. I grew closer to the abuser as the traumatic bond grew stronger. Excellent points. Shocker indeed and a wake-up call. Will help me healing. Thank you.

I read this on AB Admin's site before she put a price tag on it. It's pretty good info. The only problem I have with the information and warnings is the fact that she is coming from a very biased place. She got involved with a man who she said stole her heart. No, he didn't steal her heart. Nobody held a gun to her head. She gave it blindly but willingly thinking and hoping and wishing she was about to get something in return for having done so. It's always about getting something in return. It's about putting someone on a pedestal to worship them (which you should never do) in order that they will thank you (i.e., worship you in return) for worshiping them. Most people can't handle that *high* place of *honor." When you put certain people on a pedestal you can be sure they'll eventually be looking DOWN on you, or worse, p*ssing on you because to be worshiped by people can be addictive, be they male or female. I wish she were more fair in that women have made men exactly what they are because of their neediness and desire to be worshiped. If being worshiped wasn't part of the deal of giving something as precious as your values up (You see all these kingdoms? I'll give them all to you if you'll just fall down and worship me!), then most would do a double take.

I was glad I found the information but as a woman, I had to admit to myself that the only reason I got my heart stolen over and over and over again was because I was desperate for approval. And I thank God that He used the men in my life to do the very things the writer claims manipulators do on purpose (I just think she gives people WAY too much credit) to knock some sense into me. I'm not going to be hardened by any of that. I'm going to thank God that now I know, I was wrong. I was putting the unholy in the place of the holy. That's what all insecure, desperate people do. Nobody has to twist our arms.

It might not be a very lengthy book, but it truly has some thought-provoking information and it was very helpful to me, and obviously to others, men and women alike, most of which one can really only see in hindsight - hindsight's 20/20 vision. You have to have been "there" in order for this information to be of benefit.

I would caution readers that you will be unpleasantly surprised to find that you played just as big a part in your own heartbreak as the one to whom you claim broke it. If you can read it and find forgiveness and healing rather than hatred, then the information she gives here has done what it was intended to do.

I wish all of you well on your healing journey.

Gina

This helped me realize that my ex was indeed being very manipulative, although I unsure of whether or not he's aware he's doing it. This book talks mostly about people who intensionally manipulate to gain power, but I found it very useful in my situation as well. Even though the relationship is and was over when I read this, it really helped me to validate my choice to end it.

I was surprised to find that the more I read, the more I was filling in the blanks with my bosses name, not my husband's. Eye-opening and helpful. I look forward to reading her other book now; Boundaries: How to love again...

I read this as part of Prime member's free reading, a loan. Going to buy this now so that I may remember when my boundaries are being intruded, and to give this list to people I care about. Manipulators are attracted to people they instinctively know they can manipulate.

The premise introduced in the beginning has a serious flaw, that being if you experience any of a long list of feelings/events, you are being manipulated. The list includes all kinds of imbalanced, insecure behavior that is the responsibility of the reader, not the partner who is allegedly manipulating the reader to elicit those feelings. I'm concerned that this book will contribute to turning troubled people into larger victims, as opposed to helping them understand their role in their feelings and the events.

This approximately 30-page "book-lette" is a good place to start if you are or were ever involved with a manipulative (abusive) person. The author breaks down a fistful of behaviors into separate bullet-point paragraphs wherein she succinctly describes each manipulative "issue", giving examples as needed.
Nice, clear writing, very few typos or other errors, short and sweet, nothing hysterical or hyper. This is a little gem, a concise beauty that is very easy to read.
Brava! :-)
I'm looking forward to reading more of this writer's work on any subject whatsoever!

This short and direct work is worth your time. In many lives people get worked over without ever knowing it. Some of us are used by "friends" over and over yet we don't see it. This book points out a lot of things we should be very aware of in order for successful relationships.
Well done.

At first I tought this was another of those "little books" with no content. I went ahead and got it anyway. Immediately I realized I was wrong. It is short but this book list almost every tactic abusers use.
Good choice.

I lived it and waking up to all these types of manipulation tactics being described. Sure, it should be thought to any young girl to wake up to any overly romantic guys with good intents. There's nothing like the perfect prince or person just a good covert manipulator

I found this book while looking for some help for a family member and domestic violence victim and her daughter. The book explained exactly what she was going through and the type of monster she was married to. Hopefully she can spare her little girl from this way of life.

Quick read but not much depth. But still a good quick insight to know if the one is experiencing manipulation - as it may not just be your imagination and that there is a reason one is feeling uncomfortable in situations. A good reality check.

This book seamlessly describes the insurmountable emotional damage that the victim of a narcissist experiences and how isolated they feel as the narcissists crafty tactics are seldomely recognized by those around them.

It's very hard to decipher what's going on in a relationship, in which you find yourself always anxious, depressed, or frustrated. This short book reveals the way your partner is using covert manipulation to control you.

Made me sadly aware of someone like this I know...wish there was a list of books to help the victim or some support sources..but thanks for the information to promote awareness of this devastating personality.

My stepdaughter's "mother" is a 100%, full-blown covert narcissist, so very sadly I've seen manipulation that would NEVER even enter the mind of a normal, healthy person to do, however if you're unsure of whether or not you're being manipulated it's straight to the point which is good!!

This book is simplistic at best and and not useful. She states that the content is geared towards detecting manipulation in romantic relationships, but is applicable to other relationships. That is patently untrue. There is very little here if you are looking for insight into family or other interpersonal relationships. It gives the impression that is someone disagrees with you and states it honestly, that is manipulation. The advice doled out here is basic and really doesn’t add much to the conversation.

Just seeing what I know on some subconscious level made me feel better. I'm really not crazy. Not for someone looking for solutions, that a whole different ball game. But if you are looking for validation or just figuring out what's going on, this short "booklet" is great.

A better title for this book would be "Everyone Who Disagrees With Me Is a Manipulative Psychopath"

Written by someone with no qualifications it essentially just confirms the biases of deeply dysfunctional people and lets them project their issues onto those around them.

As a person who manages their borderline personality disorder and has suffered with it's effects, I am quite angered by the generalization and stigma further placed on BPD victims by this author. Classifying those with borderline personality disorder as manipulators with such simplicity is wrong and further victimizes those who suffer from this illness. Do BPD's manipulate? Some do - some don't. And the reasons or rational is fear of rejection more than likely. Seldom are BPD's manipulators for sadistic purposes. Most are probably not even aware that they are doing it. It is a self preservation mechanism. It is an automatic pervasive maladaptive way of processing their own emotions and has nothing to do with others.

As a person who manages their borderline personality disorder and has suffered with it's effects, I am quite angered by the generalization and stigma further placed on BPD victims by this author. Classifying those with borderline personality disorder as manipulators with such simplicity is wrong and further victimizes those who suffer from this illness. Do BPD's manipulate? Some do - some don't. And the reasons or rational is fear of rejection more than likely. Seldom are BPD's manipulators for sadistic purposes. Most are probably not even aware that they are doing it. It is a self preservation mechanism. It is an automatic pervasive maladaptive way of processing their own emotions and has nothing to do with others.