A Practical Guide to Polyamory - Open Relationships

Definitely a different view on life. Great in theory but I would personally find it unsettling to know my wife has a diary and a roster for a whole series of lovers.
Good reading though; and one I enjoyed. (this is not a review, but just my impression)

I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in enjoying a more free, open sexual life. Dossie and Janet, through clear writing and warm respect for the acknowledged difficulty of operating in a way "other" than most of society would have us operate, share solid, actionable views on being polyamorous. For me personally and directly, The Ethical Slut helped me figure out exactly HOW to talk about what I was looking for with those I talk with about relationships.

A particularly powerful concept they discuss is how important it is to look at life NOT through a mentality of a "starvation economy." I can't do it justice here, but it's absolutely eye-opening and like certain other books about relationships (both non-fiction and fiction), reading this book can often leave you with many of those moment where you say, "Ah, someone gets what I've been thinking about!"

A great book for anyone looking to broaden their views on traditional relationships. I felt a little lost because I did not fit in anywhere, and no one I knew lived this lifestyle . After reading the book it gave me confidence to live life the way I think is best.

This book provides an interesting viewpoint on love and relationships. I recommend it to anyone that is willing to explore what they think they "know" or should want in regards to relationships, love and sexuality.

Much too close to a schmultzy American self help book for my liking. Lots of filler and stories that seem unbelievable. Discussions on important topics like jealousy for example, are pretty shallow.

Life affirming, "Myth buster" of present and historical influences of how we are to pursue and sustain relationships and why the chaos in the world today.
Practical and simple guide to "correct" the chaos in your personal interactions with others.

Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Adventures (2/E) (Celestial Arts, 2009)

Perhaps the most important thing to know about The Ethical Slut, if you're just hearing about it for the first time, comes from Annie Sprinkle's blurb on the back. “The Ethical Slut is one of the most useful relationship books you could ever read, no matter what your lifestyle choices.” This is indeed the case. Even if you're a committed monogamist (like most folks around the globe today who are in serious relationships), there is a great deal of information in here you can use; given that polyamory is simply an exponential projection of normal relationship dynamics, the books presents a masterclass on the same stuff about relationships that's covered in every other self-help book. And since they're looking at situations that most people will consider absurd, they're going well out beyond what the monogamous will think of as the worst case scenario. As a result, simply put: this is the best self-help book, not only about relationships, but about anything, that you will ever read.

Think of polyamory like cooking. The standard relationship we all think of, two people romantically involved, that's like making a souffle. It's not the easiest thing in the world to do, but as long as you're willing to adapt to your surroundings and follow a few rules, most of which are common-sense, you will end up with something good. Polyamory, well, with each new person you add, you're cooking another dish at the same time. Usually in a different oven, often in a different apartment in the building, and sometimes the equipment in the other place is stuff you're not used to and you end up having to tread very carefully or you're going to wind up with scrambled eggs instead. (You've seen this movie before.) And yet, somehow, thousands of people make it work every day. The levels of communication and empathy involved often feel superhuman to the monogamous, once they overcome the “aren't you always jealous?” phenomenon. And that's where the “this is good advice for the monogamous as well” factor comes in. Dealing with, say, a breakup in a polyamorous relationship involves a whole bunch of support from other people who love you and take your feelings into account. How is that different from a monogamous relationship? They're friends, and sometimes we don't think to ask. Or if you're in a monogamous relationship and just never think to talk about a topic for some reason? Yeah, you'll learn how to cut that out, 'cause it's usually a bad idea. Learning to think about the idea of gender fluidity in a different way? Par for the course, bub. And these are just tip-of-the-iceberg examples.

In short, it doesn't matter who you are, what kind of relationship you're in (including being asexual by choice), or anything else, you are almost guaranteed to find at least one piece of helpful advice in this book. Most will find it a treasure trove of great ideas well worth exploring, capable of taking their relationships to levels beyond anything they would have previously believed. I say it again: this is, as far as I know, the single best self-help book of all time. You need to read this. *****

Even if you do not believe in the material presented here - it's a great way to either understand sexual counterculture or even to be initially exposed to the idea. Keep your mind open as you read and you just might be surprised by how intelligent and direct the authors are - and how spirited, too. It's nice to see that this kind of writing is still alive and well.

Thought the book helped me look at different sexual orientations in a different light. The authors used very detailed examples of lovers they've encountered over the years to give the reader an inside scoop on how to deal with certain struggle or roadblocks that people in a non monogamous relationship might go through. The information they shared from their experiences made me realize it wouldn't be easy if I were to be in an open relationship. They go through hardships just like the rest of us.

If you are interested in ethical non monogamy, this book will tell you how to do it. Filled with personal experiences, the authors have a way of presenting this as a very viable lifestyle, practiced by perfectly sane people. Highly recommended.

Very comprehensive overview of polyamory. Also covers many practical aspects that people might not always consider, such as dealing with state laws that might label a poly an "unfit" parent. Yes - people still lose custody in the 21st century over lifestyle choices such as that. A bit of a long read, but definitely worth the time I invested.

Very well written and full of useful information for any relationship you may have with someone. The authors are kind and humorous and the anecdotal stories illustrate their points well. They stress the importance of taking care of yourself, communicating effectively and nurturing relationships with your friends, partners, lovers. It was refreshing that they did not try to categorize the relationships between people since relationships are tricky, complicated amorphous things. It's clear that both authors have a lot of experience with being ethical (and maybe sometimes not so ethical) sluts. As someone who is starting to explore polyamory, the ideas in this book have been tremendously helpful - especially the parts about owning your feelings, communicating and the transitory nature of relationships. They also include some helpful resources on how to get started, finding groups, breaking up, how to deal with children and how to be a single slut. This book has been amazingly helpful, not just for lovers but for any relationship!

This book is essential reading for anyone considering open relationships or polyamory, and has helpful advice for everyone regarding understanding one's own emotions. Valuable for monogamous people too.

I wouldn't just recommend The Ethical Slut to those who are in or trying to get into an open relationship--I would recommend this to anyone in a relationship. There are a lot of good points in this book that even the average, monogamous couple could put into practice in their relationship. Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy have spent a decade or more as primary mentors in the polyamorous-lifestyle. Their knowledge and insight is endlessly helpful for those who are just starting in an alternate lifestyle or who have spent years actively engaged in it. This book literally has changed my life--absolutely, 100%, for the better.

This is an excellent book for anyone considering or participating in any kind of polygomy or polyamory. My husband and I are swingers and this would have helped us alot with our journey through polygomy. It is amazing how the authors make this book relevant for everyone straight, bi, gay or transgendered. This book made me realize that my desire to love many is not wrong but natural and possible! You are given extensive advice on how to deal with jealously as well as good sound relationship advice.

Regardless of your status or approach to relationships, whether they be traditional heteronormative or alternative or even if you are an individual looking for a way to truly express love, this book is a useful guide.
The Ethical Slut holds your hand, and then jumps into the deep end of the pool, pulling you in.
In many ways The Ethical Slut dismantles traditional relationship labels and expectations, but it also gives us the opportunity to have a new, more open conversation about sexuality, expression, and love.
So whether you are monogamous or autonomous, pick up this book with an open mind and open heart, and I prmise you will learn to love with abundance.

I think this book is geared more toward women. For men looking into this stuff, I recommend psychology books like "Obscene Thoughts", "The Evolution of Desire", or "What Women Want, What Men Want: Why The Two Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently."

If you are seeking a non-monogamous lifestyle, if you're in a relationship and want to explore options or boundaries, or if you simply wish to seek understanding of how others approach their relationship choices, this is a great book. It is written in a very personal, conversational manner. Highly recommended.

The authors present concepts in a clear and easy to follow way that makes reading the book enjoyable as well as educational. Most common issues for open couples are covered with candor, and several approaches are given to handling each one. The authors are careful not to present their way of living as being the only right way and are very respectful of every lifestyle.

Overall I would say the quality of the book is excellent and recommend it to anyone interested in, or currently living in an open relationship.

Wonderful book! Absolutely loved it. I feel cheated that I was not given a copy of this book in my teens, well before my sexual escapades began. I love the approach of the writers in a "do what fits you best" approach to sexuality. They don't try to sway you into trying polyamory, they simply present the facts and give you information regarding precisely what has worked for them and for others that they have known. As was discussed thoroughly, there is too much negative stigma placed on sex. One thing I particularly liked was the focus on conveying to the audience (presumably women) that it is entirely acceptable to want connection, to want sex, to want to enjoy yourself and to pursue what you like. Too many of us, I feel, have been raised in a world where anything we desire is negative and an emphasis is placed on self-denial in order to be fulfilled. Crock of hooey is what that is! Go out and explore yourselves, ladies! Be a proud slut!

Wonderful book! Absolutely loved it. I feel cheated that I was not given a copy of this book in my teens, well before my sexual escapades began. I love the approach of the writers in a "do what fits you best" approach to sexuality. They don't try to sway you into trying polyamory, they simply present the facts and give you information regarding precisely what has worked for them and for others that they have known. As was discussed thoroughly, there is too much negative stigma placed on sex. One thing I particularly liked was the focus on conveying to the audience (presumably women) that it is entirely acceptable to want connection, to want sex, to want to enjoy yourself and to pursue what you like. Too many of us, I feel, have been raised in a world where anything we desire is negative and an emphasis is placed on self-denial in order to be fulfilled. Crock of hooey is what that is! Go out and explore yourselves, ladies! Be a proud slut!

For a young woman looking to explore the possibilities of an open relationship, this book gave me many ideas and places to start. I would recommend this book to anyone looking to understand open or polyamorous relationships, or anyone who would like to participate in the free love lifestyle. Cheers to Dossie and Janet for sharing their wonderful expanse of knowledge on the subject!

Its a book of common sense honestly. That voice that nags you not to be a complete selfish jerk? Yeah same advice, just written down so maybe you will consider others feelings before raunching yourself into sexual escapades willy-nilly.

A decent read.

This is just too exciting! Finally a real sexual education and resources to further your understanding. I'm so grateful for this book as it's helped me realize I'm worthy of pleasure and has also helped me be more honest with myself and my partners, whether they're friends with/without benefits. I recommend this book to all people of all genders and sexual orientation who are coming of age and beginning to explore sexually. This is a must read!!

I bought the kindle version of this book because I was intrigued.

I've been in a monogamous relationship for 10 years "cheated" with a single one night stand 7 years ago and was blessed with 2 threesomes involving my life partner & my best friend. While our relationships have not been hurt at all by my (and later our) choices I wish I would have had this book 2 years ago when the three of us were involved intimately.

Not only did this book confirm my sexual feelings overall - which I have long shunned and been scared of - it gave me affirmation of my natural instincts which stared at a very young age. But these authors didn't stop there.

This book is not just a collection of sexy tales and intimate encounters spelled out in tasteful discourse but a tool to help build honesty, trust and communication.

More than once since I began reading I referenced some of the major communication skills and "tell your truth" ideas. From telling the barista at Starbucks "thank you, but NO, I would appreciate it greatly if you would make my coffee again but with the skim milk I requested to the more personal parental/child conversations.

Truly wonderful and highly recommended for anyone trying to come to come to terms with the realization that love is not a finite resource nor is pleasure synonymous with shame.

The book opens up with the premise that a mindset of abundance is required to engage in the life of an ethical slut. It's focus is definitely geared toward a more hippie mindset, so with that in mind, it covers the ground it intends to explore. The chapters on communication and dealing with jealousy are very valuable, as are the resources in the appendix.