Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship

It helps to understand your downfalls & this book is a real eye opener. I'm now sticking to positive boundaries that I didn't have before and I must say it works well and weeds out the abusers :-)

Helpful insightful clear roadmap to navigating the minefield that is Psychopath. Familiarity with this scary and sickening condition is immunity against further deceit. Psychopaths do not deserve to breathe the air that we breath.

If you are a feeling person confused about what's going on in your relationship, things seem muddy and you can't figure it out then read this book - it will change your life. It's only 50 pages and I love this book! I've read other books on boundaries but they have never been so applicable as this book. I have used her recommendations to gauge and handle my relationship with my ex. and family members. Really helps, I think because clarifying boundaries for me is a feeling process not an intellectual exercise. So I feel and then because of the book learn what is really going on and usually it's my fuzzy boundary. I have also recommended it to my clients and friends with similar issues.

This book was very clear and concise about setting and defending boundaries. I liked that it was straight to the point and gave clear examples of boundaries and even had situations in which you would need to use them. I wish I had read this book years ago.

This is another quick read with some good info but very superficial coverage of topic. However, it's all the basics you need to understand the topic and get an idea of what you should be doing regarding boundaries.

Slim book but has some very valid points. Good for someone recently splitting from bad relationship and still establishing healthy boundaries and self preservation. I gave to a friend who needed it after I read it. Good purchase.

These books are simple, short, and perfectly understandable. My dad bought them for me when I finally left my abusive boyfriend, and this book and 30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control in Personal Relationships are the only reason that I didn't go back to him. I recommend them for victims of domestic violence, family members of victims, people who are new to romantic relationships, and every other human being on earth. These two books are the most impactful things that I have read in my entire life, and for this reason, I now use them in my classroom.

I use portions of this book and "30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics"30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control in Personal Relationships in my high school health classes to teach kids the warning signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship before they ever encounter one. I highly recommend these books not just to victims of domestic violence, but to literally everyone, especially people who have not been victims YET. They are a fantastic addition to any Green Dot program.

These books helped me to stay gone after I left my abusive ex-boyfriend. Without them, I know I would have gone back. In the months that have followed, I have had to reread them to remind myself that none of the things he blamed on me are actually my fault and that I should not sympathize with him. Since then, I have bought 5 copies of each book and given them out to women. Everyone I have met describes a past relationship with a narcissist like this; all that varies is how long they continued to date. I am ordering 10 more of each now to give to the local domestic violence advocate in the county sheriff's office. These books truly prevent any more people from becoming victims.

Finally, they were a great help to my dad and mom, who initially couldn't understand why I stayed with a man who abused me. Reading these books healed our family and gave me the support system I needed when it was hard not to go back.

As the author of “The Secret Life of Captain X: My Life with a Psychopath Pilot” I didn’t know what to expect reading “Boundaries: Loving Again Loving Again After a Pathological Relationship.” Although the book is quite short and to the point, it’s filled with good common sense guidance geared at those who have endured a relationship with an anti personality disordered person. It's difficult to start over in life at any stage, but after a pathological relationship, it’s extremely difficult. The message is clear. We must have special boundaries and stick to them. I recommend this book, so we can get on with our lives after we have endured the unthinkable.

I expected to purchase an insightful, professional, unbiased and deeply researched text on the subject of personal boundaries. Instead I find one anonymous woman's repetitive reflection on a past relationship with which she was profoundly disillusioned. The text is so brief and, again repetitive, that it could have been condensed into a simple brochure. There is no expertise here, only the debased ruminations of a woman who was violated in one personal relationship. Her abuser was a "psychopath," a word which she uses in the broadest of terms citing inborn neurological disorders. Were these scientific studies carried out on the infant at the time of birth, or could it be the results of the brain wiring itself in defense against abuse? Children are born innocent, and are profoundly subject to the circumstances of nurturing.
Relationships are complicated and people are complex. Birch paints with too broad a brush (two stars as there is some truth in it).
Particularly unnerving is the fact that the author will not reveal her identity. She speaks of boundaries, standing up for herself, actions speaking louder than words, then she has a photo of a woman on her site walking away from us. She hides. Why?
Something's not right there.

The author for me pinpointed exactly what I was going through. At the present moment I didn't really appreciate myself and that I needed to prioritize myself than feel sorry for other people that obviously manipulate and try to control me and act like if I have no opinions. If I expressed my feelings I was subjected to some form of punishment such as yelling, walking away from me , and threatening behavior.The most striking thing for me in this book was the fact that the author mentions that all communication should cease once the relationship has ended because it appears if you continue to try to convince them of their faults than they do not take you seriously and continue to try to lure you in.

This books highlights what boundaries are and how to establish them and tells how manipulators look for those of us with weak boundaries. It's amazing that some of the things they mentioned as red flags were exactly what I experienced in my toxic marriage. I Didn't stand up for myself and he used and abused me until I had nothing left to give him. Can you overlove someone ? And it makes me wonder if I had stood up to him sooner would he have left sooner?

AB Admin hits the nail on the head about psychopaths in relationships. AB is blunt for there is no other way to discuss such a destructive being. My absolute favorite line is "No one is a good judge of character" ... Thinking you are is an illusion. I thought I was too until I was to married a narcissist for 20 yrs. and wondered how I misjudged his character. Now I am trusting what I see instead of thinking I already know. Remember behavior speaks louder than words. Thanks AB for putting the behaviors of psychopaths into words.

Without doubt, the most valuable tools I have found to allow me to know true freedom and joy in my life are my boundaries. In lieu of resolutions each year, I reevaluate and reestablish my boundaries, and set intentions for the new year. Within those boundaries I am free and confident, day to day. Adelyn Birch understands, perhaps better than any author I have read, the importance of boundaries. In this book, an essential instruction manual for anyone whose life has been impacted by the vicious predations of a psychopath, she clearly describes and explains the details and the vital importance of these precious personal parameters. I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels the need of more knowledge on this subject, and certainly to anyone who is struggling to recover from psychopathic attack. The author, who writes from personal experience and with deep empathy, has several other books on offer as well, every one of which is a treasure trove of wisdom and help for us all! ... Must reads and life-changers, all!

Really short. But it hits on an incredibly good point and one that anyone getting out of a manipulative relationship obviously needs to be conscience of. We have not been clear enough of our boundaries that we walked as soon as signs of manipulation and or abuse began. Instead many of us were unclear enough with our boundaries that we were easy targets and any times even convinced that perhaps we were wrong or crazy or our expectations unrealistic. The book makes some good points about how becoming clear about boundaries can not only help anyone who has stumbled out of one of these relationships not repeat past mistakes, but also to be more confident in putting ourselves back out there when we are ready... Feeling more confident that we will not be victims again at least never to the same degree.

Great book puts everything into perspective. I’ve been wondering how to set boundaries for the last couple years not sure how to do it although this doesn’t help with my current relationship it puts things into perspective to see where my boundaries are being taken advantage of.

Gives tools to confront or walk away from a person who doesn't respect your boundaries. I've decided after 12 years of covert manipulation that I'm worth loving and that means having clear boundaries. I'm walking away and not looking back.

I've always had problems creating and enforcing personal boundaries. This book is short, and concise on creating personal boundaries and helping to understand why you need them and need to enforce them.

The anonymous author, A B Admin,, was a victim of a psychopath herself. She has a website, psychopaths and love.
She says that those of us who fall victim to these manipulating people have weak or no boundaries at all. She explains what boundaries are and why everyone needs them. She also explains how manipulative people will exploit our boundaries early on in a relationship. If one is not aware of these acts of disrespect and put a stop to it at the beginning of the relationship, the manipulator will push farther until they have complete control over one's life. It is our responsibility to spot disrespect and not tolerate it. This book explains all that, and gives one the tools to use in achieving a balanced life driven by their own wishes and goals rather than the demands of others.