Chimes From a Cracked Southern Belle

Chimes From a Cracked Southern Belle is a fantastic read. Susan Reinhardt has the sense of humor of the truly funny people that I grew up around here in the South. She's clever, witty, and whimsical, and also takes you into the story so smoothly that you almost feel like you're watching a movie. Well done!!! Buy this book folks!!!

Just finished this book, couldn't put it down. Laughed and cried with the cast of characters.
Every family has this character in their family if they will admit it. My favorite of her
books that I have read. A good read and I would highly recommend it.

Simply AWESOME---Anybody that likes comedy,tragedy and everything else in a book will love this one---Love the crashing of the funerals by the Aunt so she can go eat the food is hilarious--- handling of domestic violence will send a message to some that have deal with it--you will enjoy this book extremely-- Betty Necessary

This book is hilarious and, for true Southerners, very relatable. It deals with spousal abuse and the living afterward. She talks of true love and what love really looks like :) Great read, I finished it in two days!!

Susan uses her unique sense of humor and outlook on things to create some wonderful characters and an excellent story. I was laughing out loud several times, but also got a little choked up at times as well. It made me think about how I view people and our relationships.

Brutally honest and brilliant novel about the way domestic violence shatters a family, but with love and humor Prudy's life is rebuilt step, by courageous step! You will love Mrs Reinhardt's character development! This novel is rich in southern charm and razor sharp wit, grit, and determination.

Speaks so well to the "underbelly" of southern culture in a way that you can truly " bless her heart" while knowing the daemons she faces are nothing less than real. Awesome read. Definitely the next read for our book club!

Susan has captured southern living at its finest....A must read I couldn't put down. Only in the south can you take a tragedy and turn it into a comical event...Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone!

Susan Reinhardt's Chimes from a Cracked Southern Belle is very entertaining, well written, easy read, that you won't put down...A must read....This would make a great movie..I can see Reese Witherspoon as Prudy.

This book was an extreme disappointment. I found it to be crass, with poor taste and ridiculous characters. It is also an insult to those of us who live in the South. This is not skilled, polished writing. It reminds me of a comedian who can only use crude humor instead of his creativity to make the audience laugh. You couldn't pay me to pick up another one of this author's books.

I bought this book because I wanted something funny and I read the reviews. I'm not sure if the reviewers all knew the author and were doing her a favor or what but this book is disappointingly not funny. I don't care about any of the characters and I probably won't finish it. In fact, I'm being generous by giving it 2 stars.

Susan Reinhardt is not your average Southern belle. Oh, yes, she's gorgeous all right, though always whining about her butt which really is not that big. And of course she peppers all her hilarious put-downs with "Bless your hearts." She's had enough real-life heartache to make Scarlett O'Hara look like Pollyanna but with true belledom, she applies an extra dab of pink frosted lip gloss, pushes up her Wonder bra, twists a fly-away highlighted tress back in place and marches bravely into tomorrow. In addition to being a full-time belle, Reinhardt is also a widely popular newspaper columnist for over 25 years with the Asheville Citizen-Times where she makes fun of the secrets of her own life, along with the antics of her loopy family. She's the author of three side-splitting non-fiction works including Not Tonight Honey, Wait Until I'm a Size 6, active in many charities, mother of two (one in high school, another in college) and happy wife to husband #2. Did I mention the nicest gal on the planet, too?

And now, after 9-1/2 years of off-again/on-again toil, she's published her first full-length work of fiction--a riveting, brilliant, charming, wicked, and hilarious, I mean hilarious novel, appropriately titled, Chimes from A Cracked Southern Belle. Am I jealous of this woman? Of course not, my Yankee transplant butt, swear to Mother Mary, is teeny-tiny--Lawsy, I'm not jealous--Susan Reinhardt is my role model!

Reinhardt swears only 20% of the novel is autobiographical. No doubt, Lucinda Manning, the proverb-spouting, sweet-natured mother who insists on believing that her two grown daughters are still virgins, is based on her beloved real-life mother, Peggy. And then there's Aunt Weepie, surely based on Aunt Betty whose antics have enlivened years of the newspaper columns. (Reinhardt insists that Aunt Betty, unlike Aunt Weepie, does not go to funerals and bawl up a storm graveside to get free meals afterwards.)

Two years ago, in Asheville, Dee Manning's extraordinarily handsome preacher husband, Bryce Jeter, revealed to the world the monstrous side that he heretofore showed only to her--he tried to stab her to death and run her over with the church van in the Bi-Lo parking lot. Her daughter Miranda was too young to remember the incident. But son, Jay, does remember and has more nightmares than any 7-year-old genius should have. Now age 38, Dee walks with a painful limp and uses extra foundation to cover up her 15 scars. To be near her mother, she's settled into hometown Spartanburg, SC, and moved into an affordable apartment that her mother refers to as a white trash hovel. She gets a job helping out at the local old-folks home (which is full of unforgettable lovably goofy characters), and another job cleaning toilets at the local radio station, which eventually leads to another job as a radio host talking about what it means to be a mother these days. Dee's desire is to get her nursing degree and work with newborns and the dying, people at the extremities of life.

In the meantime, she keeps trying to do what the older belles insist is the only way a woman can get on with recovery--get herself a new man. But Dee feels like she's walking through molasses. No matter how many times her therapists insist that she remember the details of her near-death experience she can't. Nor can she bear to tell anyone about the nightmare of her honeymoon-why oh why, did she choose virtue over lust and not sleep ahead of time with the one man she said "I do," to? What a Woman of Bad Choices! Dee must get it all together-and right soon--because there are threats her psychotic ex-husband is going to get out of prison early-and kill her for good.

Sounds funny, huh? But it is. When you're not weeping at an incident on one of the pages of Chimes-- let's face it, there are many abused women in real life and they do find one another and share tales--you are laughing out loud. Reinhardt doesn't spare anyone in this novel, not Baptists, or single men, or therapists, or 104-year-old ladies trying to get their driver's license renewed, or radio audiences, or prisons that don't do their jobs, not even well-meaning mothers. The only thing more funny than reading Reinhardt's writing is seeing her in person. Check out her Sarah Palin imitation on You Tube. Excerpt from review in Rapid River Arts & Culture Magazine, Asheville NC by Marcianne Miller

I picked this book up from Kindle Unlimited for reasons unknown. I read the blurb and thought what the heck I could use some southern wisdom!
What I got was so much more than a few laughs and a good read. This is a story of a strong woman from good strong southern roots who passively aggressively learns to live again. Dee is not your traditional heroine. She doesn't get fighting mad and she doesn't throw verbal punches she simply wins by learning to live again. The journey isn't easy but Dee handles it with class and good ole southern charm.
This book is full of supporting characters that make you laugh at their antics and southern wisdom. Mama Millings and Aunt Weepie definitely add something special to the story.
Susan has a way with words and I enjoyed her writing style. I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone who needs a good dose of laughter and a bit of reassurance that no matter what life throws at you, it can be handled with class (even psycho husbands.)

Happy reading,
Jenn :)

I usually read hot romance novels so when I started reading this book I was like uh where is the romance. The romance never came BUT I kept reading the book because it is about a woman who survives a horrible attack from her ex-husband. Her scars and her body will never be the same. Yet she some how manages to get back on her feet. When she describes the brutal attack and all the injuries she endured I was entranced with this woman's strength. Then came the part where she has a family that is crazy as hell. Her mother reminded me of my grandmother who would quote scriptures all the time to us. The way her mother does it is hilarious. She leaves her a message every day on her answering machine giving her a quote and then giving some advice which is usually about getting a job, and to get a MAN. Then she has this aunt that is just as crazy as her mom but she doesn't quote scriptures. She is always telling Dee that her momma is not as innocent as she tries to act. The three of them together are freakin hilarious. There were parts in the book where I was laughing so hard I was crying. It wasn't just crying because it was so funny that was only part of it, but the other reason was because Dee's strength is so strong. I know everybody has their moments of when they think their lives are really bad but when you read this book it not only makes you see there are people worse off than you but that have the courage to keep moving on with their held up high. Now Dee did have her moments but she always bounced right back. Eventually there is a love interest but it really doesn't start off that way between her and Croc. I thought to myself well maybe now the hot steamy romance comes in but no it doesn't. More laughter came instead....I have to say one of the funniest moments was when Dee took one of the nursing home residents that was 104 years old to renew her drivers license. I doubled over in laughter. Dee works part-time at a nursing home and meets a lot of elderly people that are just down right funny. Dee loves going to this job because she sees that none of their relatives come and visit and are just are lonely. In truth I know that to be true. My grandmother was in a nursing home the last couple of years of her life. I went as often as I could because the drive was so far, but I got to meet a lot of elderly people there. One lady thought I was her daughter and would just talk to me and all I would do was listen. Then the best one was when this elderly man thought I was his wife and was yelling for me to go back to him chasing me around in his wheelchair. Oh my God the nurses had a field day. They had to help me get him away so I could leave. In the book Dee experiences so much of these occurrences which I think helped her heal. If you are looking for a book to read when you are sad or depressed you should read this one. It will knock your boots off lol. It sure did for me and so as you can see I really loved this book and would recommend it to anybody.

This Southern Belle is real and refreshing. She doesn't live in a plantation-style house or sip mint juleps. She can barely afford cereal for her children and doesn't have the strength to get out of bed most days, for good reason. Dee is cracked, but on the mend. She's a struggling mother of two young children, who thought she'd married her prince charming, but finds out her handsome, preacher husband is not so perfect. In Dee's case, her prince goes crazy, and boy does she suffer for it. She does so with a sense of humor and with the help, annoying though it may be, of her loving, but irritating mother and an aunt who likes to go to funerals for the good food. Dee finds several part-time jobs and comes out of the fog of a terrible injury to find humor in the antics of the elderly people she cares for and her own crazy life. She rallies to re-enter the dating scene with heartbreaking and hilarious results. Through it all, she takes each day one step at a time, and tries to keep her chin up, at first for the sake of her children, and then ultimately for herself. I would recommend this novel for anyone who wants to read about a relatable character who doesn't give up when it seems like that's the only thing she can do.

With her first foray into the world of fiction, columnist and humorist Susan Reinhardt welcomes her readers to life in Spartanburg, South Carolina. Well-written and populated with a cast of comical and eccentric characters, Chimes From A Cracked Southern Belle tells the story of cracked, but not broken Southern Belle Prudence Millings Jeter. Prudy, who will tell you real quick that she wants to be called Dee Millings now, has survived a near death experience at the hands of her abusive husband. She has no desire to be seen as a victim and is determined to build a new life for herself, her son Jay " a bona fide genius" and her daughter Miranda, a pint sized suffragette who loves to lecture on the advantages of recycling and avoiding alcohol. As Prudy emerges from her cocoon to become Dee, she makes plans to reinvent herself and pursue the goals she set for her life before she succumbed to marriage to the Reverend Bryce Jeter.

Little things. Don't make a big deal out of little things, my therapist kept saying. All these small things can be taken care of. It's the big stuff worth the sweat and concerns. Jobs, children's well-being, the return of joy and meaning in life. These are the biggies.

The author employs a broad brush and a wildly divergent palette to paint her characters: the psychotic Reverend Jeter, Prudy's Bible quoting mama who refers to her lady parts as "possum" and her Aunt Weepie whose philosophy for atoning for "cracking open a pot of major sins" is to "darken the doors of a nursing home and get your hands dirty and soul clean". Following her Aunt Weepie's advice leads a young Prudy to Top of the Hill Manor.

Nursing home duty is what a Baptist-bred girl does when she slips up and sins, especially if the busted commandment lined up for balancing has something to do with a man and one's desires for some gratification in the Sealy/Serta department.
As Prudy begins her journey to realize her dream of becoming an RN and "to take care of the world's tiniest and sickest newborns, the premature infants in the neonatal intensive care units. And those at the opposite end of life's journey--the white-haired men and women at Top of the Hill or any other nursing home", it's only natural for her to return to Top of the Hill Manor to seek employment. Nothing has quite prepared her for one of the residents, Miss Annie, who still drives and who discovers the pleasures of bikers and bars at the age of 104.
"I want to go to a bar," she said. "A real bar with men who have tattoos and ride motorcycles. This is a priss parlor. I can eat Thai chicken or I can drink beer, and I done told you which I was in the mood for."

No story is complete without a love interest and that part is filled when Prudy reconnects with her first love, Croc Godfrey.

I was already falling. Straight into a tempered love with Croc Godfrey--a quiet love that is comforting and sustaining, like soup. Not the kind of hot jalapeño love that burns out long before it ever has a chance for sweet embers.

Chimes From A Cracked Southern Belle was a delight for me to read since I was born and raised in a little town named Charleston not too far from Spartanburg and even though Prudy and her family and friends are fictional, I know people just like them! This book will have you running the gamut of emotions from shock to pity to joy. You will be brought to tears and you will laugh out loud. Within the escapades of all her colorful characters, the author weaves a serious story of how one woman, with courage and determination, finds love, forgiveness, healing and an ending that will satisfy every reader.

Leave it to Susan Reinhardt to tackle an extremely disturbing topic--spousal abuse--while writing about the recovery in a very funny way. And that's just what she does in her latest novel, Chimes From a Cracked Southern Belle.

Prudy (Dee) Millings is trying to put her life back together after doctors have done the same for her poor ol' body. Recovering from a near-fatal attack by her psycho-preacher-ex, she and her two "young-uns" are trying to move forward again. A former Homecoming Queen, Dee has now put a few pounds and did not finish nursing school before running off with the most handsome man in the county. Her two cheerleaders in this endeavor are her mother (who's almost as crazy as her ex) and her Aunt Weepy--who scours the obit section of the newspaper daily so she can plan to crash nearby funerals (whether she knows the deceased or not) in order to be invited to the "covered dish" afterwards. (Now I don't like to cook either--but this seems a bit extreme...) Two years after the attack, doctors say her bones are healing fine, but it's her spirit that needs the most help...

When I first discovered why this Southern belle was "cracked", I thought to myself, "Here we go--another depressing Black and Blue..." but I was pleasantly surprised. It's not that Susan sugar-coated the abuse issue--we learn about every gory cut, scar and crushed limb--but I was amazed that she was able to write about it in such a way that the tone was ultimately uplifting. Instead of framing our protagonist Dee as a victim, we see how she eventually became a survivor--and thriver--in life.

It was an enjoyable, well-paced and entertaining read with fascinating characters (and I do mean "characters"...) a positive message, and some of the best one-liners ever. Rounding up her description of Dee's mother, she writes, "She meant well. Only I wasn't well enough for what she meant." After Dee runs over a squirrel with her car--which was a bit too reminiscent of her recent "accident" in which her Baptist preacher husband tries to run her over with the church van--she is obviously emotional and guilt-ridden. The author describes Dee's ensuing "rodent CPR" episode, and then her mother reacts, "Get away from that thing right now!...You could get rabies. I didn't raise you to French kiss road kill..."And finally, she writes of Dee's physical urges, "I was almost at the point, lust-wise, of putting a personal ad in the paper." Wanted, DFHMWMOT (Disease Free Heterosexual Man With Majority Of Teeth) for three to four nights of fun. No attachments. No commitments."

Fans of Fanny Flagg and Beth Hoffman will love this little Southern slice of life. It also reminded me of Robert Leleux's memoir, "The Living End", that he wrote about the serious topic of his grandmother's Alzheimer's, in that Susan finds the (funny) silver lining without diminishing the impact of the subject. I'd be curious to hear how a survivor of abuse reacts to this book. For the rest of us--it's a highly recommended read!

Cheers!
BCC

Susan Reinhardt has written an astoundingly delightful book and I completely enjoyed reading and experiencing it. Her sense of observation, detail and description is flawless. The laughter and tears continue to roll along into each other.

It is quite certainly a splendid insight into southern living - a slice of life. However, it transcends those boundaries and takes us deep into the heart and soul of a person. Common ground for everyone.

The book is written with such insight and expertise that it is very wise that the author indicated, in her notes at the end, that this is not her life story. I imagine her children were pleased to see that. Her ex as well.....I do wonder how her mother felt?!

What comes forth the most clearly is hope.....compassion.....laughter.....and the quest for peace in each of our worlds. Who could not relate to that?

As with all her writing, Susan Reinhardt continues to be bold, brave, honest and even fearless at times.

And perhaps the most essential theme of the entire book is Forgiveness. This is huge.

Thus, what the author has created and presented us with is a love story.

Thank you Susan for writing it.

Dr. Stephen Corwin

Chimes From a Cracked Southern Belle had me laughing and crying more than any book Ive read in my 65 years! The characters, the phrasing, the emotions breathe with southern charm and wit, while not only believable they stirred my widowed heart to rejoin life like no other grief counseling could do.
Thank You Susan Reinhardt!

This is an amazingly complicate and beautiful novel about personal growth and how experiences shape our person, but do not define it. All of this depth is peppered in with some of the most hilarious scenes and characters that I have ever encountered in the many novels I have had the pleasure of reading. LOVED IT!!!!!

CHIMES FROM A CRACKED SOUTHERN BELLE (Grateful Steps Foundation) by Susan Reinhardt is a novel about a woman who is nearly murdered by her ex.

Much of it is very funny, but there are parts of it that are also very touching. And I was always left wondering what would happen next to Dee Millings, the main character.

The author's writing style kept me engrossed throughout the book. I found myself writing notes about many of them, thinking that I'd want to include them in this review. Among the more memorable passages were the following:

* "Are you out of your mind? You are going nowhere, Miss Gloom, I've had four people give me directions as I was hunting for you just now. They want me there. Once you make it to the hole in the ground, you are good to go for the covered dish. Only those who watch the dead go down get the buffet afterward. It's the reward for attending, sweet Prude, and probably the only one you'll get, since I couldn't ring that man for you. He canceled at the last minute, damned fool."

* But even with their quirks and misguided priorities, South Carolinians are warm and gracious, typical Southerners who will give neighbors everything out of their cabinets or gardens but won't wince if a time comes that a neighbor must be properly put in her place. Vengeance is as alive as repentance, and quite often the two hold hands.

And this one:

* "You sure can. Now, just tell me how you can advertise fresh homemade food when all I put in my mouth was Campbell's or Stokely's, maybe even the cheaper stuff like Margaret Holme's unseasoned offerings. Explain all this to me," she said as he stood transfixed, eyes darting about to see how many customers were listening to my aunt's rant. "Explain, please, and while you're at it, tell my why you haven't trained these poor waitresses to serve people. This is the most unorganized place I've ever set me size-6 feet in. Why, my husband can cook better than this and he serves hairballs!"

You may think CHIMES is a book just for women, but if you do, you'll be missing a novel that just about anybody will enjoy . . . and I dare you not to laugh out loud when reading about Dee's attempt to provide CPR for a squirrel, as well her aunt's many visits to crash weddings.

Any girl growug up in the South will recognize some of these family members. Even though I was not subjected to the spousal abuse of Prudy. I certainly can relate to some of her wacky relatives and friends. I enjoyed this book. Its a rather dark comedy.

Not since "Cold Sassy Tree", "Bingo" and "Randy" have I read a book this funny and sharp witted.
I know these characters and they are the salt of the earth.
Sorry mama, daughter, but we have bits and pieces of these delicious southern belles in our genes.
Ms. Reinhardt did her homework on a lot of subjects to be so "spot on".
I love "Chimes from a cracked southern belle" and will be buying extras for gifts.

The author tackled the seriousness of domestic abuse while enterjecting high doses of humor. This was the story of Prudie and the aftermath of her husband viciously trying to kill her. There were some great one liners that really had me laughing out loud. If your looking for a good love story that is equally serious and equally humorous then this is the book for you.

I've read all of Ashville, North Carolina's Susan Gambrell Reinhardt's books, loving the frank humor and sometimes heartbreaking sadness in her non-fiction offerings,and I waited eagerly for her first novel.I was not disappointed! The book cost me at least one good night's sleep, because I couldn't put it down!
The book is by turns hilarious and heart-breaking, as Reinhardt's brutally honest take on domestic violence, aging, parental love and parental destructiveness cracks open what could have been just another cutesy Wacky Southern Belle read and pulls out the guts, while at the same time smithing scenes of calamity and goofiness that leave the reader laughing out loud.
This is a story of voilence and survival,love, and just enough mercy to make it real. I highly recommend it!

Although the author is a local personality and comedic entertainer, this is the first of her books that I have read. She was a very popular columnist for the newspaper in which she did not avoid controversial topics. The same is true for this book. "Chimes" tapped all of my emotions and the subtly nuanced metaphors were masterfully written. Although I thought it might be more appealing to women, my husband picked it up (instead of a Tom Clancy novel) while we were on vacation and I caught him laughing out loud and had to ask what part he had just read. When he finished it, he sort of slammed it shut and said, "Wow!" It moves along quickly but leaves you hanging until the denouement painfully near the end of the book. Susan has produced entertaining characters and a poignant story line without getting maudlin or slapsticky (is that a word?). I look forward now to reading some of her earlier works.