Talk Before Sleep

This novel explores the emotional involvement and profound depth of loyalty and devotion in close female relationships.

Ann and Ruth couldn’t be more different, yet they were drawn to each other at their first meeting years ago and a bond of friendship formed. They confide their deepest secrets and share intense emotions without fear of judgement or reprisal. It is a steadfast and invaluable friendship.

Recently, Ann has begun to spend most nights at Ruth’s apartment. She feels a need to be close whenever possible. Ruth’s breast cancer has returned with a vengeance and doctors have stopped further treatment. Occasionally, their evenings are filled with outings that might include one or more of Ruth’s other close women companions. More often, the two simply laugh and cry over past experiences and exchange their differing opinions on men, marriage and morality. Then one day, after a months-long period of peaks and lows in her journey of understanding and acceptance, Ruth called her confidants together and announced a decision that threatened the bond she’d nurtured with each.

The reader will likely identify with one or more of Ruth’s formidable friends and agree that to have even one so devoted in a lifetime would be a priceless blessing. Be warned though, if you know someone going through a similar struggle with cancer, it may leave you more melancholy than uplifted.

Before I start reading a book, I usually read the negative reviews for it on the store; and there are some good, persuasive negative reviews for "Talk Before Sleep" found there. Because I have liked other books by Elizabeth Berg, I decided to try reading this book. The author's writing is good; her development of the friendship between Ann and Ruth is well done. We should all have friends who tempt us out of our comfort zones. Ruth is an artist while Ann is a retired nurse. One is a risk-taker; the other is a care-taker. There are many conflicts in the novel; many scenes the reader does not get to witness first hand. There are characters we readers don't like, but there are also characters we like. The characters in this novel are flawed, bringing insecurities and unfulfilled needs with them. I liked the book and will remember scenes from it for a long time.

If someone told you that this book is basically about the depressing topic of slowly dying with cancer, he or she would be right. If someone told you that this book is basically about women idly speaking about their foibles in escaping their respective dislike for marriage or the men in their marriages, he or she would be right. If someone told you that this book is basically about an attempt to focus on the relationship between lost middle aged female souls which are kindled by a newfound sisterhood, he or she would be right.

In short, this is a book about women, written for women. It is the closest thing to being a "chick book", without any iota (or very little) of romance or the other staples which make certain genres of literature be deemed "for women only."

Neither Elizabeth Berg nor her marketing directors would admit the book's topic(s) require or want a male audience. The worshiped dying Ruth, who has her heterosexual fun and conquests, admits to liking the sexual pleasures with men, but does not necessarily like men. She tells her good friend and narrator Ann near the end of the book, "Be nice to Joe. He's not bad, for a man."

Ruth's own husband is painted as the idyllic loser. Someone who has the gall to have sexual relations with other women, after Ruth packs her bags, moves into another apartment, and continues to sleep with various other married men in their community. Ruth is a femme fatale. But, the men are the bad people. Ruth is the book's hero.

Amid the sisterhood of eclectic characters who nurse Ruth during her slow regression are other married women, a latent lesbian and, of course, Ann. They take turns watching over Ruth, cleaning house and ordering in Chinese. During these mundane events, the book's interest increases as the bonding between these women furnicularly increases as Ruth's health decreases.

This is a quick read where the chapters are short and the length is also short. In its brevity, this book's gender-discriminatory passages quickly slide away to the novel's stronger aspects: dialogue. It is not this reader's favorite, but far from the this reader's least favorite.

In `Talk Before Sleep' Elizabeth Berg displays the dynamics of the female friendship in such a moving and realistic way that this could be a true story, only it's not. Berg explains that she wrote the story to help sort out her experiences during her own friend's death, and this connection between herself and her characters keeps them real and alive. You will not often find a book in which the characters so confidently propel the story forward.
Ruth is dying of caner, it's plain and simple. Though she toys with the idea of `curing' herself, it's pretty apparent that she will be leaving her friends before she should have to. But like so many of Berg's books, this story is really about Ann, Ruth's maternally-inclined friend, who temporarily sacrifices her husband and daughter to care for Ruth in her home. While Ann is waiting on Ruth hand and foot (emotionally, physically and medically) there is plenty of time for flashbacks that take the reader through the women's friendship; through divorces and children and all the messy stuff that life is made of. While Ruth's other friends also play intricate parts in the story, the focus really is on Ann and what she will choose to retain from her friendship with Ruth and this phase of her life.
Even though the subject is somewhat grim, I enjoyed reading this book. One thing that is always consistent in Berg's writing is that she doesn't skip over the less-attractive parts of the human nature, so when you're reading you find yourself easily relating to one or more of her characters. Reading is so often such a solitary thing, but when it becomes interactive it stays with you.

I really, really loved this book. And I read ALOT of books. My sister gave it to me after she read it. She had pre-menopausal breast cancer, was cured - and 15 yrs. later developed bone cancer. It's in remission... and we're able to talk about death - and life - and this book reminds me again that we all need to ENJOY life. We're ALL dying. Sometimes it takes being given that "death sentence" to really do what you want, to be yourself, to live each day like we all should be doing - but usually dont. Its a book about female friendship, love in marriage, and different types of women.

To reviewers who said the characters didnt develop - the book was not that long; but i thought they were developed well, and if you know women you can imagine them and know how they are. To the reviewers who said they ate too much junk food!? She was dying. There was no cure. Dont feed me bean sprouts when i KNOW im going within months! (Also, this was a fictional story.)

I read the book in a day and a half. I would recommend it to women for sure. I dont have alot of female friends, but i still loved reading about the friendships and relationships. Enjoy!

Berg never ceases to amaze me....
'Talk Before Sleep' is like having a conversation as you read. You are drawn into the book believing you are just one of Ruth's friends who is there to support her through until the end. Ruth has terminal breast cancer.
Ann, Ruth's best friend and former nurse, has resolved that she is going to beside her friend until she dies. Ann and Ruth are nothing alike but are drawn to one another because of their differences. Sarah is there to keep a level head and make sure all 'final' arrangements get made. She takes her task seriously and in doing so sometimes alienates herself from the others, particularly L.D.. L.D. is Ruths friend who refuses to believe Ruth is dying and in doing so has Ruth trying every non conventional treatment she can find, all the while getting on everyone nerves who is trying to come to terms with reality. Then there is Helen who has known Ruth since childhood and is just a sweet gentle soul wanting just to be there for Ruth.
This book drew from all of my emotions, I laughed out loud, I cried, and got angry. It is a good read that can pull on all of those emotions and when you close the book you are so glad you have shared the experiece with Ruth, Sarah, L.D., and Helen.

From the diagnosis, to the denial, to the intimidating medical lingo, to the fear and unknown of dying, "Talk Before Sleep" is one of the most realistic pieces of fiction that I have ever read.
Beautiful, glowing, take-no-prisoners Ruth lives to the fullest. And then the unthinkable -- breast cancer, surgery, chemo and the exhausting fight to survive, a war waged not only by Ruth, but by her friends, Ann, Sarah, L.D., and Helen. Told through Ann, we see Ruth slowly deteriorate as the cancer spreads and she must face death head-on. This is a soul searching book that asks questions we would all benefit from considering. The questions go beyond the theological into the realm of self-examination. How have I lived? What would I do differently? How do I want to die? Am I living every moment? Ruth's pain is well expressed, but so is the pain borne by her friends. We see the agony and denial, the reality and the fear that the four women who love Ruth the most must endure as they try to support and ease Ruth in her final days.
This book is not just a depressing look at a painful death. It is a celebration of a beautiful woman who enjoyed life and squeezed what she could from it to the very end. It's also about the legacy and the spirit we leave behind. I confess I cried, something only two other books have been able to cause.
Very well done!

Do you have an author that you continually go back to, like an old friend or comfort food...somebody who makes you feel good, even when the subject matter is about divorce, dying, or sickness.
For me, that author is Elizabeth Berg.
"Talk Before Sleep" is about girlfriends loving one another, even when the situation is intolerable, unbearable, unspeakable.
Ruth is diagnosed w/cancer and her friends gather around her like lionesses protecting their cub...comforting her, laughing with her, feeding her chocolate.
Berg writes as if she is sitting across the table from you at dinner, and we are nodding yes, yes. We understand. Because we have girl-friends like the characters in her books. We have girl-friends that we would dread not to have in our lives, to love and pour our souls out to.
"I will miss you." Ann crys.
"You will feel me near an open window," Ruth says. "I will be the breeze that brushes against your face." ---Talk Before Sleep---
I keep going back to Berg because her words taste good...I know her characters. They are people I know. They are me.

Truly wonderful short novel about two best friends, one of whom is dying of breast cancer and is near the end of her life when the story begins. This is a look not only at what it's like for the patient, but at how hard it is for someone to watch a loved one leave this world -- and not be able to do ANYTHING to stop it. All the feelings are here -- the guilt, the fear, the frustration, and the sorrow -- and they are so eloquently described that by the end of the book, you will be exhausted. As exhausted as the characters themselves. And this is what made me love this book so much -- it's so sad, it's so hard to read, but when was the last time a book moved me like this?
Berg says in the foreward that this book is actually based on her own experience as a friend watching a friend die from breast cancer and I believe it. Only someone who'd really been through it could make the rest of us feel like we had too. But this book isn't all about death and sorrow -- it's also about how bright someone's light can be, even in the face of extraordinary darkness. This book made me laugh out loud. And then it made me cry myself to sleep. How wonderful is that? Answer: darn wonderful.

A richly detailed novel about the beauty & hurt of losing someone special,that all the friends had to learn to live with & accept.
Fantastic author,but one that always plays on my emotions.

Elizabeth Berg is a writer that understands women and is able to capture that connection women have with each other as friends, mothers, wives perfectly. This book is a testament to that as it is a story of two best friends. Ann and Ruth and what they endure when Ruth is diagnosed with breast cancer.

I felt like I was reading a memoir in Talk Before Sleep. Ms. Berg delves deeply into the feelings, experiences and connections women have when a friend has cancer. It made me stop and think about what it would feel like to have a close friend with cancer as I have not experienced that. I am in my 40's and know it will happen and this story gave me an opportunity to understand what that experience may be like. This is a beautifully written story even though it is sad.

I was searching for "something around the house to read". I picked up this used book,reluctantly, because it looked depressing. My mother had died 6 months ago from Cancer. Once I started reading it, I couldnt put it down. It is an amazing story of reality and love and what really is important: sharing love. I immediately took this book over to my sister to read. I was hoping she would be as enthusiastic about it as I was. I called her the next day and she had been up all night reading it..and crying.She loved it! I mailed it to my other sister right away. She also could not put it down, even with her busy schedule. She says she wished she had read it before our Mom died. I plan to take it to Barbados next month for my other sister to read. This would make a wonderful movie! It's relevant and heart-warming, very human.

Most books about women dying of cancer tends to be melodramatic, but not this one. Elizabeth Berg takes you on a journey between two best friends as one of them embarks on her final journey for life. Annie and Ruth became the best of friends after meeting each other at a party. When Ruth was diagnosed with breast cancer, Annie learns the meaning of love and letting go while Ruth handles her dying with grace and humor.
This is a book I would definitely recommend for friends to give to one another. Elizabeth Berg knows how to write about women ~~ how they talk, eat, live and gossip among themselves. This is a treasure about friendship. Men don't understand the connection women feel for one another ~~ how we need to laugh and cry during life's most stormiest times, and how we need our friends' love and friendship as well. Berg does a wonderful job drawing the readers into the private lives of the characters ~~ and you don't feel that you are standing on the outside either. You're drawn to Annie because of her nurturing, caretaker nature, and you're drawn to Ruth like a moth to a flame ~~ full of life and laughter.
If you haven't read this book yet, I would suggest you do so soon. Breast cancer is still the number one killer among women and though this book doesn't really talk about cancer itself, it does talk about love, friendship, survival and death. It is a book to treasure ~~ to pass on between friends, mothers and daughters.

Sorry to spoil the party, but this was an unsatisfying book. Major flaw: The poorly developed characters (men bad/women good), and the first person narrator and cancer victim were both unsympathetic. Neither the situations, nor the friendship, nor the dialogue, nor anything rang true to me. I am amazed that this book was a success on any level. It already seems very dated, with women who are unemployed or marginally employed whining about not being understood by the hard working husbands who support them. They are presumed to be in the wrong simply for being male. The book opens with one of those "sensual" descriptions they give you as an opening exercise in creative writing class. The tedious description says nothing about the narrator, her mother, anything that will lead us anywhere plot-wise or take us anywhere in the book, thematically. Then the descriptions of the friends -- just their physical characteristics, in cartoon stereotypical simplicity, nothing about the real people or the essence behind the physical forms. I didn't know who these characters were by the end of the book. I'm sure there is a great novel out there about women and breast cancer, possibly in the unread slushpile. This is definitely not it.

Given the subject matter of "Talk Before Sleep" this book could have been a maudlin account of death through breast cancer. However, Elizabeth Berg's prose creates a most insightful tale that touches the very heart strings of the reader. It is witty. It is gritty. It is prolific. It is truthful without too much clinical detail. Mostly, it is loving. The loving friendship of two friends, bound together through thick and thin. A wise story, the book leaves you uplifted even with the inevitable ending. Yes, tears spilled from my eyes, but they were in profound respect for Berg's well written characters, and the exquisite beauty of her words. I was so genuinely moved by this read, I wrote my dearest friend an email emoting how much I loved her. Well done prose affects it's readers, and that, to me, is the crux of good writing. This was very good writing!!!

Elizabeth Berg always seems to word things just perfectly. She is the voice of your daughter, your mother, your sister, your friend. This book was kind of sad but kind of nice, about two friends, one who has cancer which the reader doesn't know if it is terminal or not. The friends must live their lives in a certain way juzt in case the worst happens and they run out of time. Hence the title Talk Before Sleep, tjat is, say what's on your mind cause you can sleep forever once you're dead.

Judging by the praise heaped on by the other reviews, I obviously didn't like this book as much as most people. I read Berg's more recent "Open House" first, and I enjoyed the sunny writing style and humor. For me, however, "Talk" bogged down somewhere in the middle. With the exception of Ruth, who is dying of cancer, most of the women seemed to be sketchily drawn. The narrator, with whom we are meant to empathize, is similarly sketchy. One questions, too, how easily she seems to balance her home life with caring for her dying friend.
Despite the adulation, this book just isn't up to par with "Open House." The subject is compelling, and Ruth is somewhat compelling as a character, but the book is too long and too sketchy to be compelling as a whole.

I absolutely loved this book. Being in my late thirties, I could completely relate to these women's friendship(s) - Every conversation and nuance is very real - sometimes laugh out loud funny - sometimes heartbreaking. The author's insights to life and death are poignant, and touching.
It was easy to visualize Ann and Ruth, their surroundings, and the events of their friendship, and I truly sympathized with Ann's loss - you feel that part of her soul has died - and she is so giving and dedicated to her dying friend.
This book was nearly impossible to put down. It is a sweet story that reminds me of the importance of the people we love - that life is much more simple than we make it.

This book captures the heart of most women since all of us can relate to its unfolding of a strong and interactive relationship between two wonderfully developed characters by Berg. This book speaks to the wide range of emotions in a relationship where death is pending and one's support is critical.
It is easy to be seduced by Berg's quickness and wit,and lifelike portrayal of the characters which jump out from page to page. As the pages began to dwindle, I found myself reading slower to maximize the time spent with the two main characters.
This book speaks to what all of us need in life and the commitment it takes to have and be a best friend ! A truly delightful journey.

Nothing puts a friendship to the test like being the one dying of cancer, or, for that matter, feeling guilty for being the one left to live on.

This is a Berg triumph - the dialogue is realistic - heart-wrenching at times, crazy fun at times, but always REAL, leaving you hoping that your friends will be there for you, on whatever side of the cancer/terminal hardship coin that we all might land.

Will it offend some? Yes. Is it realistic of women friends? Completely. Read it. You won't be sorry - you'll be a better person for having this first-person feeling view of how to be the best friend you can be.

This story is unforgettable, one minute your laughing the next your crying. It was a story about friendship between women. One who was dying of breast cancer and one best friend who learns so much from her dying friends' courage and out look of life. The bond between the two of them is very moving. I laughed and cried because I too had a best friend who died of breast cancer. We did everything together, so for me this book was so close to home. I didn't want it to end, but knew it had to, Because as in life it has a beginning and an end . Read this book and pass it on to your friends , they will thank you.

A well written story of friendship when cancer comes in. Ruth is found to have breast cancer. Ann is a nurse. This story shows how strong a friendship is between women. Ruth has more friends who all take care that she will not be alone. Ruth has a pretty great support group. She is important to all of them.

My own best friend recently passed away (albeit not from cancer), so the premise of this book intrigued me. I confess it brought a tear to my eye more than once so the author must have gotten some things right. I would have prefered a more in-depth look at the friendship between Ann and Ruth, I often felt that the author was just scratching the surface. The cast of "supporting" friends almost seemed unnecessary to the storyline, they just didn't add much and often seemed like an afterthought. That said I did enjoy this book, but because of it's brevity I can only give it 4 stars.

Elizabeth Berg does it again with an excellent novel of friendship and love among a group of female friends while one friend suffers from a terminal illness. Berg uses her expertise and talent at showing the impact one person's life can have on many other people in significant and insignificant ways. It is a short novel and a quick read (only 210 pages), but guaranteed to make you shed a tear or three. It is definitely worth the time -- you will not be disappointed!!

Dishonest portrayal of cancer death.

Ruth's (43y/o cancer patient) friends, Ann (the narrator), and L.D., rang false.
Ann and LD were obsessive beyond all reason. Ann forsakes her own nine year old daughter and husband for Ruth whom she really hasn't known all that long. Anyway, Ann treats her wonderful husband like dirt, attacking him when ever he opens his mouth.
Ann and L.D.s inability to let Ruth go and die where she wished, with her brother, Andrew and their hatred of Andrew was too weird. Burg makes Ann and L.D. too extreme to be believed. Selfish.

The cancer part: I've personally had friends die of cancer and am currently taking care of my Father (colon, bladder, skin and now bone cancer). And all of them became skeletons. They all lose their appetites and seem to burn off calories ten times faster than the norm (my dad lost 28lbs in 9 day in the hospital). My Dad's down to 140lbs from 174. Ruth tho eats and eats and eats. Always hungry. Food is a major happening in this book. Lobsters to go, MacDs french fries, hot ice cream sundaes, pancakes.....

My cousin (40y/o) prior to finding out she had a tiny cancerous tumor in her lower rectum was sick for almost a year...couldn't eat without getting sick and constipated. Ruth on the other hand has the worst cancer you can get and it's everywhere... in her lungs, her liver, spine, breast, even her brain but she's portrayed as hardly ever sick. She continues to ride her bike during chemo. Right. My Dad can't even drive a car any longer, the brake and accelerator pedals are too much for him. He can barely walk.

The character of L.D. was embarrassing. She was a bull dike. "football-player-sized" only wore "checked flannel shirts and bib overalls--even on hot summer days. Her only variation is in caps --John Deere for dress up, sports teams for everyday" I worked in the construction trades in S.F, and lived in the SFBayArea for 34 yrs. and never met a bull dike such as L.D. tho I'm sure they exist but not in the circles in which these women, Ann, Ruth Sarah, Helen ran. Burg stuck her in the story for reasons I can't figure.
I've never known one lesbian who hated men like L.D. and didn't in fact prefer male company. They do tho try to project or emulate the medias stereotypical worst elements of the male persona - cool, cold blooded unaffected which is why I don't care for em. It's so obviously an act because it's all the same act...no individuality. Imo, maybe ten percent of homosexuality is genetic.

Ruth's begging her ex husband (a real nasty cold fish) to take her back, even going so far as to sneak into his place while he's with his 20 y/o fiancée was pathetic and completely out of the character Burg had created for her.

The whole story comes off as a sham. Like Burg knew nothing about the subjects and didn't bother inquiring. A fairy tale death. Should of been listed as fantasy.

Berg is one of my favorite writers. I bought this book and tried to read it at one point, but one got through one chapter and then shelved this one.

A few months ago, I pulled it back out and started reading. I could not put this book down! Berg develops her characters so beautifully, realistically. The description, and "everyday" doings are true to life, which is why I almost always enjoy her books.

This book devastated me, made me sob, but was not a cheesy story in any way. I would recommend this book. It's a quick read, and totally worth it.

"Talk Before Sleep," is a book that you would want to share with your female friends. It is a story of a woman in her forties, named Ruth, who is diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily, she had friends like Ann, Helen, L.D., and Sarah who were there to care for her till end. A lot of emotions are shown about life, men, and friends which made the book interesting. There are certain parts of the book that made me laugh, and there are parts that made me cry. If you are interested with drama, then "Talk Before Sleep" is a good book for you to try and read.

In this novel, Elizabeth Berg does an amazing job giving us a view into a friendship of two best friends. Ruth is dying from breast cancer and Ann is constantly by her side. You get a true sense of what it is like traveling this road from both women's perspective; the person dying and the one left behind, it is so difficult for both to face life and death without the other. This novel is wrought with emotion; deep despair, fear, hope, laughter, and above all love.

This book is just way too pretentious and makes too much of an effort to be wise and poignant to actually BE wise and poignant, or make any real observations about life, or convey any real emotion. It's so pro-female that it's sexist, anti-male, as though men are a lesser creature instead of an equal partner here on earth. I want a book that can make you cry, make you think, make you feel like you are going through an experience with someone, but this book does none of that - the author WANTS to convey something, but it all feels very artificial. The characters were weak - Ruth was self-centered, cynical and narrow-minded and Anne was a pushover and had such low self-confidence and inability to see the good in her life you hardly have hope for her at all. Overall, it was really quite mediocre.

Elizabeth Berg tells the story of true friendship between two women Ruth and Ann. Ruth is dying from Breast Cancer and she is being taken care of by Ann and some of her other friends LD, Sarah, and Helen. I really liked the character of LD who wouldn't give up hope until the end no matter how much they told her that Ruth's death was inevitable. But the best part of the story is the friendship shared between Ruth and Ann, a friendship that strong is very rare to find today. I truly enjoyed reading this book and has to be one of Ms. Berg's best.

The greatest story about TALK BEFORE SLEEP is not about the horrible disease of cancer, but rather a story about what true friendship is. Elizabeth Berg introduces us to a group of friends who immediately become YOUR friends. If you don't finish reading this book and feel like you have to call your own friends to tell them how much they mean to you, you didn't get the full meaning of this book! It will leave you feeling as if you've just lost your best friend and knowing that even in death, they are still with you. A real tear-jerker!

This was a very quick, however, moving read from Elizabeth Berg. While I have been fortunate enough to not have experienced a death of a loved one from cancer, I feel that Berg did a wonderful job of portraying a very deep and meaningful friendship between Ann and Ruth. Berg truly has a gift for tapping into human emotions, and her eye for detail is amazing. My one gripe was the very stereotypical character of L.D., a sarcastic, rough lesbian with unshaved legs. It's a character that has been written so many times over, and Berg's imagination seems to have been lacking in that respect. However, I'd definitely recommend this as a heartfelt novel.

Ann is slowly watching her best friend Ruth face the most harrowing days of her all to shortened life. Ruth has been diagnosed with breast cancer that has spread to her lungs and has only a few weeks to live as the book opens.
The dialogue between the women is intuitive, intense and succinct like only Berg can write. Her portrayal of the oncoming death and the friends that sit in wait with utter dismay, grabbing at every glimmer of hope, is moving beyond words.
I really don't believe this author is capable of writing a bad book. You can't go wrong with any of her titles. ...END

The friendship presented in this book is as real as it gets. The author is obviously the kind of friend that I would want to have in my corner if the storyline were real life.
Breast cancer is the antagonist and is presented as real as any character description. This is a sensitive portrayal that makes the reader care about the characters. The author is obviously one who knows the menace that cancer continues to be. The effects of the disease are presented with greater sensitivity.
This book is a must read for all women.

Daniele Christie
English book review
Mr. Powell
October 4, 2001
Talk Before Sleep
Talk Before Sleep, is an unforgettable novel about two best friends, one has cancer. Ann and Ruth met at a party soon they became best friends. Not long after, Ruth found out that she had cancer. Ruth was determined to make the most out of the time she lad left. Ann couldn't see how Ruth could be so strong and never be sad, she admired Ruth a great deal for this. When it became necessary Ann moved into Ruth's house to take care of her, leaving her husband and daughter at home. Ann and Ruth had as much fun as they could, they would give each other makeovers and go see a "sappy love story" movie. Ruth also had several other friends who liked to come over to her house and have dinner or go to the movies. As Time went on Ruth began to think that her time was coming. Ruth decided that she needed to go live with her brother Andrew. Ruth feels like she needs to spend the rest of her life with him. Shortly after Ruth moves away Ann gets a phone call from Andrew. Ann knew what had happened because Andrew had never called her before. Andrew was calling to tell her that Ruth had died. On a sheet of paper Ann wrote down the time 3:37 on a small sheet of paper so she could remember what time Ruth died. At Ruth's funeral her closest friends all wore things that Ruth thought they should, they all told her goodbye for the last time under the tree in the cemetery that Ruth told them that she wanted to be in after she died.
Ann and Ruth were the only "round" characters in the novel. They were both fun loving, even though Ann was a little more responsible than Ruth. There were several "flat" characters in the novel, Ruth's friends Helen, L.D. and Sarah. Ann's husband, Joe, and her daughter Maggie, are also "flat" characters. I think the theme of the novel is that you should always make the most out of the time you have, even when you know your time is limited.
I thought that the Author did an excellent job of expressing how strong Ruth is, and how much her friends respect her for that. I would recommend Talk Before Sleep to any woman who ever had a best friend.

This book is not about dying, it's about friendship. Sure, one of the main characters dies. But, her death is handled with caring and compassion. Will you cry? Yes...unless you're made of stone. But, you'll smile through your tears at the caring, humor, and warmth of these women as they help their friend die. I'm a breast cancer survivor and, I admit, parts of the book were difficult to read. But, the book didn't depress me...it left me feeling enriched. The only criticism I have, is the negative way in which the men were portrayed.

I can't thank Elizabeth enough for writing such a beautiful story. I read this book right after its first release and finished it last night for the 5th time. For me, it is like comfort food for my brain, where I can curl up and surround myself with these wonderful characters. Each time I read it, I find another gem of a passage that becomes a part of my soul.
I especially encourage men to read it so they can get a sense of what a true female friendship is like, warts and all.

After reading some of the negative reviews, I must wonder if the reviewers have ever lost a close friend to cancer. I lost a close friend two years ago to breast cancer. She was 43. This book, which I read about the time Sally, and another friend, were diagnosed help me so much during the time I, and other friends rallied around to support and help her.
What helped me the most about this book was the different reactions and ways that the different friends wanted, and could, help. Not everyone who cared for Sally could do the same thing, but we all loved her, and wanted to help her. We all had varied opinions of her progress, prognosis, what she should and shouldn't do about her family, etc. This book help me to realize that it is okay for people to feel differently about supporting and caring for a sick friend.
I suggested this book to many of my friends who were affected by Sally's illness. I gently mentioned several times during our discussions about Sally (we still have Sally get togethers to talk about her)that it is okay to feel differently about the things Sally, and we, were going through. That no one person was right or wrong, and that we all have the right to our ideas about how to deal with this devastating issue.
I am thankful to Elizabeth Berg for writing a moving story of friends dealing with a good friend's illness and death. I appreciate that some of the characters were not likable because, truly, that is the reality of humans. And, as her book shows us, sometimes we are unlikable because we are hurting, and in emotional or physical pain.
Just like Ann's family, my family too lost my care and attention at times. My times with Sally were sacred to me, and I changed my schedule to suit hers. But, this sacrifice is a real one many of us would make, and our own families can cope just fine.

Elizabeth Berg is my all time favoite author! Only one of hr many books has ever disappointed me and that was The handmaid and the carpenter. I hav loved reading her books and have reread them multiple times, leaming something new each time!

Every female that has ever gone through breast cancer or knows of another who has must read this book. Although it was sad in parts, it was really funny in others.
It is one of those books that ties sisterhood together. I read this book in 2 days. The author does an excellent job detailing day to day what the characters in the book go through.
A must read for every female - I recommend it.

"Talk Before Sleep" celebrates women's friendship with some of the most poetic and touching language you'll ever read! In each scene as Ruth, Ann, and assorted other women friends gather for Ruth's final weeks, you'll laugh, fight, and ache along with each of them. When the inevitable does come, you'll cry for Ruth as you would for any of the women you hold dear in your "real life." This is a truly moving story, made even more satisfying by Berg's exceptional writing. It will dare you to think about possibilities you'd never have imagined before, and as a result, you'll appreciate your friends, your sisters, your mother SO much more after reading it. Gift-giving was easy last Christmas: I gave a copy of this book to every woman I know!

This book demonstrates what real girlfriends are all about. Berg explores the bitter with the sweet and explores the complex dynamics that make the beautiful bond of girlfriends. The strength of friendship along with the tenderness and toughness of being a woman amidst the frailties and inconsistencies of life make this book a true treasure. Simply stated, I loved this book.

I loved this book! The bond between the women resonated from the page. Ruth's stoic outlook on her malady and the way Berg gave her qualities that we all wished we had made me look at my own life and wonder if I could ever be so brave. Additionally, the rallying around Ruth that the friends diplayed was both touching and vivid. Again, I felt the longing for such a bond--for friends who would carry me if I could not walk and bring me french fries and lobster when death looked me in the face. Berg's style is amazing!

Anyone who's ever loved someone with breast cancer should read this book. It's a novel about friendship, foremost, and what makes life so important to be shared with friends and family. I couldn't put this book down, and it moved me in a profound way. I sobbed for awhile after I was done, but I loved this story. This is the book that had me searching for more family/friendship dynamic stories by Ms. Berg.

A friend presented me with the audio version after the death of a very dear friend from cancer. I experienced all of these feelings while assisting in her care. We shared some funny times and hard times. The lobster dinner reminded me so much of a meal I prepared for her. Many times I would prepare several different things because I never knew what she could or would eat. Often times she asked "who in the hell is going to eat all this food?" I cried and laughed all the way through the tape. Now I want to get the unabridged version of the book and/or tape to read and/or hear again. It is a wonderful story. Also, her range of friends reminded me of the different types of close friends that my friend had. And, yes, I even experienced a little bit of jealousy for a time, because I considered her my best friend and she often told me I was her best friend.

E. Berg conveys the depth and unwavering solidity of good female friendships better than any author I have previously read. The storyline could have been depressing, but instead, Ms. Berg created a poignent, humorous, and enriching experience. This was my first EB read. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to start reading "Range of Motion."

I agree with other reviews that this reads as reality, not fiction. The saddest part thing about this book is that it ended. The friendship of the women in this story is envious and admirable.

Gutsy story that teaches how to live honestly, how to be a friend and how to die with dignity. You MUST read this

...Slightly less unreadable than some of the garbage that gets published these days. Take it with you on the airplane. Throw it in the garbage as soon as you land. Schlocky, manipulative, hackish--Yet not, it seems, forgettable. The best thing I can say is that ten years after reading it, I remember it well enough that it still annoys me.

The stupid, bland narrator is annoying as hell; her friend is OK.

I was expecting blockbuster prose based upon the customer reviews I read. I was not bowled over by this book, and I wonder if perhaps I just expected too much. I did appreciate the focus on the emotions and thoughts, as opposed to attempting to paint a picture of the surroundings. The end tries too hard to jerk tears, however, and I felt that it was a bit of overkill.

The depth of exploring true friendships is the crux of this novel even while the subject is handling death. Elizabeth Berg writes from the heart in a way few authors can. She is gifted in being able to translate some of her own experiences into a story of fiction that we can love.

Wonderful clear language and a complete understanding
of what it is like to lose someone you love, made this book
a true pleasure to read. Anyone feeling sorry for oneself,
will see that life as an amazing blessing to be grasped and
lived to it's fullest. You will laugh and cry simultaneously!!

While in the middle of reading this moving book, I had to pick up the phone and call my best friend who lives 300 miles away and tell her again how much she means to me and that I love her. Of course she already knew these things, but this book makes you take a look at your friendships and appreciate them a bit more and realize how blessed you are to have those around you who "understand" you and love you just the way you are. What would you do with her or say to her if you knew your time together was limited? Elizabeth Berg is a great author who can make you laugh and cry and always make you glad you chose her book to pick up and pass the time. I have read several of her books and have yet to be disappointed.

This story will make you think about a subject we really don't like to. Solely because of its subject matter, the story is sad but the strength of the bond of friendship is inspiring. The writer present a well composed piece of work, easy to read in its structure. Worth reading!