Before I Knew (The Cabots Book 1)

Learning more about Bi-polar disease was very interesting.
I could just picture Joe, Mark, Alec and Colby as children in that tree House and as adulthood over took them the problems they faced and the different journeys made for a very good story. Thank you Jamie Beck.

This book is about dysfunctional families who have experienced tragedies years back. None of the main characters have dealt with the problems.
It is dealing with the psychology of the characters in an very amateurish way. A kind of garbage story.
I finished the book to know how it ended which was as I expected.
Not a good book

This book was amazing! Incredibly emotional and angsty, I felt like my heart was being ripped apart at times and the writing was fantastic. Loved this story and can't wait to read whatever this author writes next!

This story had everything from good love to heartbreak and everything in between, I loved it.
This author is outstanding in her ability to tell a great story and this one was one of her best. I enjoyed the pace of the story. Definitely a five-star rating.

Some things in this book bothered me---not the least was Alec. On some levels I thought he was an egomaniac, but on other levels just a man whose pride was hurt for a lot of years who didn't speak up. I guess we all have secrets.

I hate dropping a story midway through. I always try to stick with it til the bitter end, no matter what.
I made an exception in this case.
Before I Knew, is apparently part of a series. Not wanting to offend any hardcore fans, let me just say, for me, this book is not worth the time it takes to read. Over 5 hours is, to me, way and above too long for a simple romance. Way too much back and forth, and round and round, in what should have been a simple romance. It was like the thing just couldn't end, meanwhile really going nowhere. For me, this is a 'No.' And one I won't be recommending.

This book just depressed me until the last page. Everyone was miserable, lying, hiding, angry, manipulative and irritating. Alec while claiming to love her was super quick to anger, manipulative, arrogant, and narcissistic. Colby wasn’t any better. Her mother was even worse! I think In trying to develop complex characters, she created people that didn’t need love but a psychiatrist. It made it hard to root for the couple when it was very obvious they both had issues and were quite volatile together. Not a feel good romance. If you want a wordy, dark, depressing story this one might be for you. I won’t even bother with the rest of the series.

Before I Knew, The Cabots Book 1, Jamie Beck

Review from Jeannie Zelos book reviews

Genre: General Fiction (adult), Romance

I really liked the sound of this book, and dived in eagerly. I found that though the writing was excellent the story and characters just didn't keep me captivated, that I kept flicking into other stories putting this aside to finish later.
I did read it all, did enjoy it but its not a magic five re-reader for me. 

I liked both Colby and Alec and they worked well together. I felt for both of them for what grief they had suffered, and there's no time line on grieving - its different for everyone. For both of them their grief was compounded by guilt, by the secrets they both held.
Those secrets always creep out at the worst time don't they? 

I did get irritated about Colby when she still won't talk about Mark's issues, still keeps that secret, and yet if she confided in her family, in Alec they would probably understand more her feelings. Instead she kind of martyrs herself over it.
Alec too got me cross at his drama over the food awards. I know they mean a lot to chefs, everyone wants something to aim for in their career. Though I understood how that combined with Joe's death led him to lose his restaurant, I felt this time round he was very melodramatic about it, too ready to drop everything and everyone in search of that magic praise.
And I guess that bring in my personal bias, critics, whether food, art, theatre or what, who make a career out of judging, often unfairly, and destroying others careers with harsh words just to build their own. Gah! I know they need to be honest, but not deliberately hurtful and negative. The pressure that places on guys like Alec can destroy them and all those around them, and that's -IMO- just wrong. 

So its a pleasant story, a decent romance with lost going on but it didn't really resonate with me, I didn't really get to feel Alec and Colby and others were genuine, real people not story characters and that's why this is a three star good read, not more. 
 
Stars: Three, good simple romance but not a re-reader for me. 

ARC supplied for review purposes by Netgalley and Publishers

Jamie Beck has a style of writing that always draws you in to the dynamics of a family making you their own personal cheerleader. Before I Knew lays the foundation of the Cabot series which will provide lots love, heartbreak, drama, and hopefully healing.

Two years after the tragic loss of Joe Morgan and Mark Baxter, the gaping whole remains in both the Morgan and Cabot families. Secrets held by both Mark's wife, Colby Cabot-Baxter and Joe's brother, Alec Morgan, are bound to come to light after Alec becomes the Executive Chef in Colby's new restaurant.

Colby and Alec soon discover their working relationship might be clouded by the attraction simmering between them. But work relationships are not all that create trouble with Alec's family still buried in grief and blame towards Colby.

Before I Knew addresses the negative stigma people feel about mental illness and abuse topics and how that negativity leads to secrets and devastation. Would these characters lives have been different if there weren't secrets kept, well who knows it's a book. But if one person reading this story realizes how those secrets can do more harm than good well that's just excellent.

On a lighter note, I loved the book and the teasing of other books to follow for Gentry and Hunter.

The Morgans and Cabots live next door to each other. Joe Morgan and Colby Cabot were best friends growing up. When Colby married Mark Baxter, Joe welcomed him with opened arms and the three spent a lot of time together. When Joe died after a dare issued by Mark, it tore the families apart. Mark, dealing with issues of his own, feeling overwhelmed with guilt, commits suicide.

Fast-forward two years. Colby is still reeling from the past. Her marriage wasn’t what it seemed. She’s been practicing law and finding it weighing her down as much as her past. She wants to make a fresh start, so she decides to open a restaurant with help from her family. Her executive chef quits a few weeks before opening and her brother brings in award winning chef Alec Morgan, Joe’s older brother. She and Alec were close growing up, Alec always her protector, but since Joe’s death haven’t spoken.

Alec Morgan has secrets that caused him to lose focus and cost him his restaurant and his reputation. Working at Colby’s restaurant is a chance to redeem himself and help her find her happiness. He has been secretly in love with her since they were kids. He also wants to fix/heal his relationship with his dad, who has never thought his profession manly enough.

The more time these two spend together, the more they are drawn to each other. Their secrets still lie between them. Once they are revealed, will they be able to overcome their pasts to make a future together?

I had trouble with Alec’s character. He was supposed to be this nerdy, quiet, easy going guy yet a yelling, driven, intense, perfectionist kitchen machine. The two just didn’t gel for me.

So. Much. Angst. And regurgitating. Joe’s death, Mark’s death, hiding Mark’s diagnosis, Colby’s mother’s issues with her ex, Hunter’s issues with his step mom, the half sister’s issues, Alec’s dad’s issues with everyone (he was a real jerk for the entire book), etc. It just made the whole book feel so heavy and morose. And while I know this is just the first book of the series, so much was still left unsettled.

I voluntarily reviewed an ARC provided by NetGalley and the publisher.

What a lot of disagreeable people in this book! Maybe the author's purpose was to present people in all their flaws and good qualities, but I found that almost all were disagreeable to some extent.  Colby lost her best friend Joe in an accident that her husband caused even if inadvertently. When they went to the funeral, Joe's older brother Alec, refused them entrance to prevent further grief to his parents. Two weeks later, Colby's husband Mark committed suicide.

Two years later, Colby is on the verge of inaugurating her new restaurant, A CertainTea, and needs a new chef. Her brother Hunter calls her to a meeting to introduce the new chef. Since Hunter is funding the new restaurant, he had the authority to hire the chef. To Colby's surprise, the new chef is Alec. Alec had enjoyed national acclaim and won the James Beard award for his new restaurant, Une Boucheé, but after Joe's death, he lost his concentration and his creativity, and he lost his reputation and his restaurant. He disappeared for two years and now he's back to repair his losses, working at Colby's restaurant.

A lot of things go wrong here. Colby had let her husband hide his condition, bipolar syndrome, during their marriage. In a manic moment, he had dared Joe to a risky dive and Joe died. Then she was contemplating divorce because she was fed up with dealing with Mark's illness and his refusal to take his meds and follow treatment. Cue guilt for association to Joe's death and Mark's suicide. Alec had received an apology note from Mark, asking for forgiveness, and he never replied. Cue guilt for Mark, thinking he could have prevented Mark's suicide if he had acted on that note.

Alec had a crappy relation with his dad. Mr. Morgan is a retired cop, very macho man, and he shunned Alec's career as a chef. He also taught Joe to make fun of Alec because he wasn't a manly man like them. And I hated that Mrs. Morgan saw all this and didn't take steps to balance the situation in her home. I would take a frying pan to a husband and son that would dare mock another son.

Colby's parents divorced when she was a child, her father remarried and had a second daughter who is now twenty-five years old. Colby's mom is envious about her ex-husband's success in his company, and the many gifts he bestows on his second wife. She's even envious of the money Colby and Hunter receive as dividends from the stock they own in their father's company. She's manipulative, drama-queen, self-involved, and as Hunter's phrases, "a black hole of neediness". She genuinely loves her children but I can't imagine having to deal with such a mother all the time.

The only characters I whole-heartedly liked were Hunter and Sara, Hunter's wife. Hunter is working at their father's corporation, and he is a driven, intense man.  Sara is the perfect wife for him because she makes him take off time for fun and family.  Sara is a great friend of Colby's, very supportive.  As expected, Hunter is not close to their mother.

With this incredible cast of characters, this book is about redemption and forgiveness.  What I didn't like about the book is the constant hiding of secrets, which is what powers the plot of this book.  Also, Colby fell into the same pattern with Alex as she did with Mark.  Instead of facing issues straight on, she managed around the truths, she hid some information, she procrastinated and evaded.  Alec faced stuff straight on, except he hid his guilt and the information about the note.  The book felt like a downrolling disaster train, going towards a total meltdown and implosion of everyone involved in the book.  Even though it had a HEA in the end, I didn't have a lot of sympathy for the characters, except for Colby's dad and brother.  It was a great read, and the author is a fantastic writer.  I just didn't like most of the characters very much and felt that Colby kowtowed to everyone too much.

I received this book from NetGalley and willingly reviewed it.

Well, this was lovely.

We have Colby and Alec, they’ve known each other for years, but sadly they are torn apart because of some horrible tragedies. My heart really hurt for these two, they were in such a difficult situation, so much that it held them back from moving on, even with each other.

I felt it was great they were both willing to move on from that tragedy and I hated Alec’s dad for not allowing him to do that. I get the grief, but that man was awful, just wanting everyone to hurt like him.

I loved Colby, although I wasn’t much of a fan of her not wanting to discuss her past in order to move on. I understand it was painful, but there were so many things she needed to say and to hear from Alec; so her initial reluctance annoyed me a little.

Still, they were the perfect people for the other to start again.

The story, although a romance, also deals with some serious issues, such as suicide and how their loved ones are able (or unable) to move on.

Like a said, a lovely read with ups and downs, just a little bit of everything.

*Thank you to the author for providing an ARC in exchange of my honest opinion*

Before I Knew, written by author Jamie Beck, is the first book in the new Cabot series. Jamie Beck always writes from the heart, and once again, she proves why she is the "go to author" for so many readers...including me!

Colby Cabot-Baxter has not had it easy the past two years. She lost a dear childhood friend (Joe Morgan), and then several weeks later, her husband Mark committed suicide. Deciding it is time to move on and make a fresh start, she is preparing to open a restaurant located in Lake Sandy, Oregon. A CertainTea is on track for the grand opening...well, it was on track until her executive chef quit. Her brother (Hunter) has found a new chef for the restaurant...an executive chef that will surprise everyone involved.

The Morgan's and the Cabot's have been neighbors and friends for many years. The children grew up together and remained friends even into their adult lives. All of that changed when Joe Morgan died in a freak accident resulting from a dare. Friendships ended, the neighbors no longer talked, the finger of blame was easily pointed, and lives were drastically changed.

Alec Morgan has loved cooking since he was a child. While his friends were outside playing, he was in the kitchen being creative, and Colby was always his food taster. Colby and Alec had an amazing friendship growing up...and Alec never had the courage to tell Colby his true feelings because he didn't want to lose her friendship. Their friendship lasted even after high school...it lasted until his brother Joe died. Losing Joe was hard enough, but keeping secrets concerning his death only made it even harder to deal with. Alec was an award-winning chef and had his own restaurant. He once had an amazing reputation, but his grief took him on a downward spiral and he lost it all. He has just been offered a chance to redeem himself...a second chance to follow his dream of being a chef. Alec knows second chances don't come around often, and accepts the job. There's only one problem...he has just accepted the executive chef position at A CertainTea.

Wow....where do I begin without revealing too much? Jamie Beck is a gifted storyteller...she beautifully weaves together the characters, their emotions, and their stories...giving the reader a perfectly woven tapestry in the end. You will become fully invested in this story and the characters from beginning to end. She knows how to perfectly balance a wide range of emotions, giving you insight into each character...and leaving you feeling as if you truly know each and every one of them. Colby and Alec are both looking for a second chance...looking to start over and leave the grief and secrets they each carry behind them. The one thing that truly makes this book so wonderful is the fact that it focuses on the relationship itself...not the sex. The story begins on a dark note...death, suicide, and secrets...but ends on a bright note...love, hope, forgiveness, and courage. This story is heartbreaking, but it is also heartwarming. As I stated previously, Jamie Beck writes from the heart and brilliantly captures all of the emotions we experience on a daily basis...which in the end, gives us characters and a story we can all relate to. I honestly have to say that this is a powerful and uplifting start to a new series!! I am now patiently waiting for Hunter's story, which will be told in the second book of the Cabot series, All We Knew ( scheduled for release on January 30, 2018).

I would like to thank Montlake Romance and NetGalley for allowing me the opportunity to read and review this book. My views are my own and are in no way influenced by anyone else.

Colby is opening a restaurant with her brother, and her father who is more of a silent partner. Colby is a widow, whose manic-depressive husband committed suicide by jumping off their balcony. The guilt of his death, including the death of a childhood friend he may have had a part in (accidently) follows her wherever she goes. She also has the stress of her mother who is still angry over the divorce of her husband decades ago. Colby has to keep the peace between her mother and father, including be a mentor of sorts to her younger half-sister who doesn't have any responsibilities and acts like a spoiled brat. Things may become even more difficult when Alec, a popular chef, and her former friend is hired to be the chef for her new restaurant. Alec was once her neighbor and childhood friend. His younger brother was the one who died. His father blames Colby and her dead husband for his son's death, and constantly puts down Alec, even though he is successful and respected in his field.

Because no one knows the truth behind Colby's husband's death, she constantly worries. Alec is like a stranger to her who doesn't know how to act around his retired cop father, who is consumed with anger, and his mother who pretends everything is fine. Colby is relying on Alec to make her restaurant a success even though she feels he blames her for his brother's death, which he doesn't. Alec does had a dark secret regarding his feelings for Colby, but it's more along the lines of lust and love. He doesn't just want her as his boss, but something more intimate. But it feels like the whole world is against them.

Before I Knew is a deep novel about secrets, lies and guilt that spans years. Colby and Alec are caught in the middle of their family's drama. It looks like there are many roadblocks against these two getting together. The path to their HEAs is difficult, even when they confront the past in order to have a future together.

Colby and Alec have great chemistry together, and the story will keep you hooked, especially after Alec's father goes past a certain point that in some eyes may be unforgiveable. The consequences of everyone's actions here are spotlighted, and resolved in ways that aren't complete solved, but fixed in a manner that leads to Colby and Alec's happiness.

Before I Knew has a great romance/women's fiction feel to it, and a lot of depth, especially to serious topics such as emotional abuse and mental issues that should have more awareness in the book that are being published.

Katiebabs

Before I Knew (The Cabots, book 1) by Jamie Beck

August 2017

I received this digital ARC from Montlake Romance via NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

Colby Cabot-Baxter has endured more than her share of emotional duress over the years but nothing compares to what she experienced the 2 years before she decided to open a CertainTea. She grew up in Lake Sandy, Oregon with her brother, Hunter and neighbors, Joe and Alec Morgan. They grew up together and eventually went their own ways.

Colby married Mark Baxter a gregarious man who refused to treat his bipolar disorder. Keeping the secret of Mark's health and impulsive behavior took its toll on Colby over the years. It was two years ago that changed their lives forever. One day Mark dared Joe to jump off a cliff above Punch Bowl Falls in Columbia River Gorge. Just weeks after the fatal dare, the consequential guilt prompted mentally unstable Mark to jump off the ninth floor balcony while Colby watched him plummet to his death.

The trauma from both deaths ripped the two families apart with the resentment, guilt and blame that escalated afterward. Trying to move on from the past eventually forces the two families to confront the pain from the past. When Hunter hires Alec to be the chef at Colby's A CertainTea it was anyone's guess how this would work out. Will Colby and Alec be able to work with each other everyday?

How do their families move on after such tremendous loss? Can they relinquish the anger and grief which has weighed them down for years?

I enjoyed this novel for its unique storyline whose characters are flawed in ways that are relatable. Mental illness is often unspoken or acknowledged which can have devastating consequences especially if not treated. The issues are delicately weaved throughout the story which gives it authenticity.

Before I Knew, is an amazing story about, starting over, second chances and honesty. I was immediately caught up in the story’s plot and drawn into Alec and Colby’s lives. This is the third novel that I have read by Jamie Beck, and I loved it. It’s compelling, well-written and emotionally raw. I didn’t want to put it down.

Alec Morgan has loved Colby Cabot-Baxter since childhood. His brother, Joe, the athletic one, however, was the brother who won Colby’s friendship. The Morgan’s and the Cabot family have been friends for years, but that all changed, when Joe died. Joe had acted on a foolish dare, which ended his life; Mark Baxter’s dare. Alec’s family blamed Colby’s husband, Mark Baxter, but Alec knew it wasn’t entirely Mark’s fault. Not by a long shot. Three months after Joe’s death, Mark committed suicide. Both Colby and Alec were riddled with guilt. They both were hiding secrets and lies of omission. Colby had never told her family and friends about Mark’s secret. If she had, would Mark still be alive? Possibly.

Secrets of omission can be just as damaging as outright lies. Alec wanted to come clean with Colby, but he just couldn’t spit the words out. He has loved Colby for forever, and now that he had her in his arms he didn’t want to crush his chance of making her, his. Alec just knew that their relationship would end if Colby discovered what he was hiding. But, secrets and lies of omission have a way of unearthing themselves, and the fall-out is never pretty. Can Colby and Alec’s relationship survive, when the inevitable happens?

Before I knew, is a brilliant beginning to The Cabots Series. I’m looking forward to reading more by this talented author.

Thank you, Montlake Romance and NetGalley, for my advanced review copy. I loved it!

Childhood friendships and dreams, and dysfunctional family lives evolve into the complexity of adulthood, choices, relationships, and the devastating effects of the loss of loved ones. Threaded throughout these lives was a secret love and devotion, could this love overcome the odds when secrets nibbled at the foundations of new love?
Lots of relationship issues between the cast of characters define what so many people have to learn. Life is not simple, love takes commitment, truth, and compromise, and happy endings are achievements, not bestowed.
Although this story is written in a setting of financial comfort for most of the characters, the majority work for a living. Despite that, it is relatable for readers. The characters have some depth due to their experiences. The story is entertaining for the romance venue, but not simple. It's both well written and edited.

Before I Knew by Jamie Beck is, an engaging story set in Lake Sandy, Oregon. The book opens with the funeral of Joe, a childhood friend of Colby’s. Her husband, Mark was best friends with Joe and having them at this funeral doesn’t set well with Joe’s family. This starts what the story is really about how Colby, Mark and the rest of the people who knew Joe are coping with his absence. Some handle it as best they can trying to move on with life and others don’t handle it at all by giving up. As Colby deals with the losses in her life, she sees light at the end of the tunnel with the new restaurant she is opening. A Certain Tea is her do over, her new beginning with the help of her family. The only snag is she has to hire Alec, Joe’s brother but there is still hurt and tension surrounding how Joe died.

I was on a journey while reading, Before I Knew, which deals with loss, family, friendships and new beginnings, but does so in a captivating way that you can’t help but invest in Colby and Alec’s story. The reveals in this book were right on point and were consistent with the storyline. The characters were well developed and had me rooting for them to succeed, while letting them fully lead me throughout the book. I definitely recommend Before I Knew to others and look forward to reading more of this author’s work.

Teresa Beasley
A&RBC Reviews
4 Stars

This is certainly an emotional roller coaster of a story for Colby and Alec. A roller coaster which starts at sadness, but then proves that working hard together, can help to overcome the emotional obstacles that were keeping them apart. This story is of life long friendship, which then turns to tragedy. However, when Colby prepares to open her new restaurant, Alec is hired to be the chef. They are both trying to come to grips after the death of a husband and brother. The more they work together, the more they both realize that they both hurt over their losses. Although, Alec is afraid that information he knew, could have prevented Mark's suicide. They begin to open up to one another as their relationship begins to grow. They begin to deal with the way their families perceive their new relationship. Some are happy, others are not. Alec and Colby finally reveal their "secrets" and it takes a lot of soul searching to see if what they have, can make it through this final obstacle of their relationship.
This was a pretty serious book with serious issues; mental illness, abuse, suicide. Jamie Beck wrote this book beautifully. There was much heartache, but there is also tenderness and love. Would definitely recommend this book.
I received an advanced copy. All opinions are my own.

Once again, Ms Beck excels in her storytelling talent.
This is the first book in her new series The Cabots, which promises to be another winner for the author.
The story centers around Colby, a widow who witness the suicide of her bipolar husband . Guilt has lived within her for the past 2 years , and the “what ifs” she keeps on internalizing. Alex, her childhood neighbor and brother’s best friend, also is living with guilt and “what ifs “. His brother, Joe, died due to a dare made by Colby’s husband , a few weeks prior to his suicide.
Suffice is to say, it’s a story that is heartbreaking, filled with complex characters, and a very well developed plot . It presents a scenario that could happen to any of us in life. The complexities of families, some dysfunctional and the effects that our childhood has on us as adults is something that many experience at some point in their lives. A reminder that trust, truth and love are important in life.
But even as your heart feels like it’s being squeezed, and there are moments you want to cry for the characters, it’s also a story filled with hope and a future filled with possibilities.
Thank you , Ms Beck, for a heartfelt story.
I was gifted this copy by Netgalley and Montlake Romance. The opinions expressed are solely my own.

This book dealt with some very heavy subject matter, so if you like your romance lighthearted and non-angsy, this might not seem like the book for you. But I urge you to give it a try. I will say, I feel like this book might be better characterized as women's fiction, because while there are very strong romantic themes, I think ultimately it's also about Colby and the reimagining of her life.
It's also a second chance love story...a second chance for Alec to win the heart of the woman he's loved most of his life, a second chance for Colby to find her fairytale love and career she loves. It's a second chance for both families to heal, also, if they'll take the chance and let go of anger and blame. That's easier said then done.
My one character driven issue was Alec himself. He is suppose to be this nerdy guy...quiet, a little shy, easygoing where his brother Joe was daring and gregarious. But he's actually a stubborn, loud, diva-chef. I guess it could be chalked up to a before and after personality change based on grief, and while a little distracting, it doesn't overtly affect their relationship. Or my feelings about the book.
I very much enjoyed this introduction to the Cabot family series and love the writing style of Jamie Beck. I can't wait to read more Cabot stories!