Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy - Scary Close

Reading this was helpful and well worth my time, even though I'm behind in homework for a class. It was a necessary diversion that has brought much needed hope and light for my own journey. Thanks, Don & Betsy, for sharing your life and showing me things worth knowing. I'm grateful.

While its true that every Donald Miller book I read is better than the last, I am so overwhelmed by this book. It is by far his best work yet. I feel speechless. This book is a deep well of relational truths while still being a practical and relatable how-to guide for creating truly intimate, healthy relationships. At one point, I stopped highlighting and just realized I would no doubt read this book again and again, starting now.

what a powerful book...I could relate to the writer in so many ways. This book helped me to drop the act and try relating on a personal and very genuine basis. It certainly enhanced my life and the way I view my relationships.

Great read! I loved it and recommend it to anyone who is interested in reading a 'Real Talk' conversation on changing life and perspective to be a more intimate person with friends, family and self..

This book will change your life. It is like having a counseling session. Donald Miller is a master at explaining principles and applying day to day activities in a deeper level. It helped me to see that I am special and important and I have a lot to offer...and not just what I think other want from me, but who I really am. It completely changed my outlook on life, relationships and safe vs. unsafe people. A must read.

A few good excerpts:
"I began to wonder what life would be like if I dropped the act and began to trust that being myself would be enough to get the love I needed."

"We all have an exterior we try to present because we are either ashamed of who we are or we think people want something different from us."

"We don't think of our flaws as the glue that binds us to the people we love, but they are. Grace only sticks to our imperfections. Those who can;t accept their imperfections can't accept grace either."

"Somewhere along the line I think many of us buy into a lie that we only matter if...We only matter if we are strong or smart or attractive or whatever."

This book was so helpful to being able to understand relationships than I have ever before. I recommend this book to any and all. You won't regret taking the short amount of time to learn a new lesson.

Having attended Storyline, read a number of Donald's books and blog, I had an idea of what to expect. The openness and honesty was refreshing because no one likes to show their vulnerability! Especially when it comes of relationships and coming out from behind our walls. It feels very much like being naked in front of the world and who wants that? Yet this is exactly what Donald did. Many people do not even go near their own walls, much less tear them down (in public, no less!). This is where the 'refreshing' comes in. Not everyone goes into therapy on paper or admits their faults that will last until the last vestige of print has (finally?) disappeared. Risking is a always a risky thing to do. Donald succeeds.

Not a how-to manual for relationships, but packed with valuable insight. It's one of those books that leaves you more with a feeling than a map. I think this will help me have much healthier relationships in the future.

Donald Miller is one of the most generous, authentic and easy to read every-day-inspirational writers today. His wit and humility allow the reader to better embrace their own imperfect human condition and begin to enjoy the healing experience of laughing at oneself, even while tackling life's more difficult lessons.

Always an easy journey through the pages of Millers books. His perspective on life's complexities always encourages me to pause and redirect my thoughts. Truly a delightful book with some meat on its bones.

So well written dripping with honesty and freedom. Do yourself a favor and buy this book. There are no quick fixes and ten steps to recovery, just an inspiring story that will touch your life and show how a love story is truly possible.

Donald Miller never fails to delight. Wonderful book about relationships that differs so much from the standard books. There is only one list in the whole book, and every point is made through anecdotal reflections about Don's life, or those of his friends.

Donald Miller got famous for his book "Blue Like Jazz." This was a great read, but his last few books have left the reader wanting. This book brings the reader back to classic and great writing from Miller. The book is a journey into his courtship of his lady. It talks about creating intimacy within relationships. The book is very insightful and interesting. He tells wonderful stories, and it seems much deeper than what you would expect from a popular level text. He writes about the process and fears of letting people in to know you. This book is somewhat self-help, but it is perhaps more of a book of reflection. You will find yourself challenged to think through who you are and the person you present to the world. The only negative side to the book his the woman he is going to marriage. Over and over again, and maybe he has no choice, but she is pictured as the star who never makes mistakes. Miller is always on his own case, but his lady can do no wrong. At some points, you are wishing for her to make mistakes and be a fool too. But I get it, you cannot present the negative side of your future wife. I loved his take about how his insecurities have fueled his career, and the impact these had on his future. Mostly, you love this book because you see your own journey through it. Everyone is on a walk to feel more comfortable in their own skin. He does a great job of coming a long side of you to think through you together. This was one of the better books I have read recently.

Sometimes I have trouble finishing books that I start. Not this time. I was able to breeze through it in 3 days (very fast for me). Part of that is due to the fact that it's Donald Miller, who is one of my favorites and very easy for me to read. The other reason for it is that the content of this is very, VERY good. I know a thing or two about struggling relationships and growing in and through them so I'm always a little iffy approaching the topic of "relationships" in books written from a non-professional in that field. I've greatly benefited from the work of professionals such as Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend (Boundaries, Changes that Heal) and Milan and Kay Yerkovich (How We Love). I'm glad to say Don has found help from Cloud & Townsend as well. But his experienced "lay person's" perspective gives a certain credibility that must not be overlooked.
The most important aspect of this book is Don's story about his relationship with Betsy (his wife) and how it differed from all his past relationships with girlfriends and other regular friends. It is a story of growth and change and maturity. Along the way Don offers sound relationship advice related to his narrative and helps us to see the value of relationships and the way we often sabotage them through falseness of self and immaturity. Highly recommend!

I just finished reading this book this week. I can't stop talking about it! It's probably too early to know for sure but it feels like it's one of those rare perspective-changing books. This book will challenge the way you approach relationships. I hope I'm changed b/c of Scary Close. I know I'm grateful that I read it.

I love the new Donald Miller. Still raw and vulnerable, but more grown up, without being boring. The practical advice of this book, made accessible through great storytelling, helped both my wife and I to make some major decisions about the priorities in our lives and family.

My book club read this on the recommendation of one of the member's sons. We haven't met yet, so perhaps I need a fresh perspective, and can add more positive comments later.

There are some good points, such as the need in the Christian community for greater transparency, service, honesty, grace and forgiveness. That's all true. But I didn't find any substantial solutions in this book. You might "feel" better after you reading it, I guess. I didn't.

This book raises some concerns I have about direction the Christian community is taking to remedy the flight from church in 21st century America. But it's a first world problem.

(As an aside, I really admired Dave, Don's old pastor from Texas who was killed. He, above anyone else in the book, seemed to embody a Christ-like l example. I would have loved to hear more of his story.)

I've read some of the other reviews, and the name-dropping bothered me, too. But the one name I missed being dropped is "Jesus." I also missed more of the wisdom of the Bible, in context .

There seems to be is an attempt among some believers to minimize Christ, so as not to offend others. Maginalizing the Bible obscures ansolute truth. "How on earth can we attract a post-modern audience, for goodness sakes?" Yes, how on earth... The cross is practically absent in a Christian book. Who needs to be reminded of our sin nature? Apparently, all we need is more therapy.

And then there's the financial aspect of all this. Someone once said," Follow the money." Bookstores are doing a blazing business selling books in this genre. Speaking engagements abound. And now I've added to their coffers. I think I should have been a wiser steward.

If some readers are benefitted, I'm genuinely happy for them. There's a lot of misery in this world; I think we can all agree on that. I just hope that believers will grow closer to Christ as a result of reading Scary Close, and that those who don't know Him, will receive an introduction. After all is said and done, Jesus is the answer. All things are possible with Him.

Donald Miller is by far one of my favorite authors. It has been amazing to see how faith has changed his life and to watch him grow through his books. Scary Close reveals yet another side of a maturing Don. His raw authenticity and life experiences are both en lighting and encouraging. He's come a long way since Blue like Jazz and has changed, but his authentic spirit still remains.

An excellent story of the Christian's interior thoughts upon entering into marriage. There is so much for couples to discuss from mutual reading of this book. Miller is very authentic when he describes his journey toward his wedding day and into the next phase life in marriage.

LOVE Donald Miller SO much! He has an awesome writing style and I absolutely couldn't put it down! HIGHLY recommend this as a MUST read! Thanks Don for nudging me to be myself! I don't think I heard it as loud and clear as I have heard it from you! Many Blessings to you and happy reading everyone!!

Insightful, easy read, honest, and thought provoking. I read it in a weekend and put the lessons immediately to use. So thankful to my mentor for recommending it. Buy two copies and share one with a friend.

Great read. Very interesting to read a male's perspective throughout the relationship. Felt like I was just spending casual time with Don, as he told me about his experience…perhaps over a coffee. Very relatable. I feel like there's a little something for everyone to take away and apply to their own relationships.

Donald Miller describes his journey into healthy relationships with wit, openness, and simplicity. It isn't a self-help trap so much as it is an invitation and snapshot of one man's journey into relational intimacy. Definitely worth a read!

I am currently reading these words for the third time through, marking even more as I go. I usually don't do that. Each time, however, I notice more that I want to remember and carry with me. The words sink deeper and, just as Donald Miller has done for me before, they are changing me.

I think, to address the critique that claims nothing was memorable upon finishing, it is certainly possible to read this book too fast and skim over the depth that it offers. I am grateful for the raw honestly that leads to simple, take-away truths that are certainly very applicable to life. Books that detail how to do that step-by-step are ironically confusing for some people who get lost in specifics that aren't so specific to them. This book offers you the opportunity to draw your own conclusions versus telling you what to do and how; thus actually being able to say and teach more through relevant anecdote. Just as you would sit down with a friend over a drink of choice, Don offers a conversation to be had - one to which I find I keep coming back.

Lately I notice two different types of people... those who are constantly trying to grow into better people, and those who are content to stay the way they are. It is obvious the author is in the former camp, as am I. Those with whom I've struggled to see eye-to-eye in the past have been in the latter. The author does an excellent job giving fresh perspective on the discrepancies between healthy and unhealthy relationships. I want to read Safe People now by Cloud/Townsend. That's another thing. Name dropping is indeed a turn-off, but I don't think that's what Don did at all, as others have suggested. Again, just as you would have a casual conversation with a friend, other names and ideas are going to come up naturally. I think the way the author does this is actually quite beautiful, organically woven in to his original thought. It supports his points and makes me want to check out other resources and other peoples' stories. We all have something to offer if we're trying to achieve growth on this journey.. and sometimes the story is shared.

Don has offered something truly unique. I am truly grateful for voices like his. Thank you, Don.

Donald Miller has a way with words that is rarely matched in today's book of the moment assembly line. He writes with true heart and deep emotion. When you read his books, be willing to allow layers of your life to be gently peeled back and enjoy a one on one with a writer who through experiences and transparency becomes a true friend.

Miller shines a light on things that keep us apart. It's an easy read with depth about love and connecting. A beautiful love story is the backdrop for this wise tale of how to allow true love to grow. Great for anyone who has codependency issues.