The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade

these stories and this perspective were totally new to me and this book presented them in a totally candid way that really enables the reader to identify with the girls in every step of their journey, from pre-pregnancy romance to seeking out the children they couldn't forget years and even decades later after they had formed other families.

I really enjoyed this book. As one of "the girls who went away", it gave voice to my experience. I would recommend it for birth mothers who gave up their children for adoption in the 1960s and 1970s. It is one of those "aha) books.

This book gave me a new appreciation for how difficult it was for young women in the 1950-1960's and earlier to
surrender their babies. The trauma of this life changing event was so overwhelming and the need for secrecy added to their
lifelong pain. It was not easy to read about how these young women were treated and the suffering they experienced, but I believe
Ann Fessler captured it well.

I was shocked to read these stories. I am adopted and never knew the shadow side of adoption during the time period when I was adopted. I recommend it to anyone who wants a good balance of testimonials and raw data.

For anyone who has ever questioned why babies were taken from their mothers under the guise of kindness to be adopted by childless families, here is the unexpurgated explanation. Ann Fessler explains this sad era in American history that so many mothers and children are still trying to recover from. The cloak of secrecy and shame still surrounds the victims of adoption all these years later with little recourse to amend the wrongs that were done.

This book was very disturbing to read, but also very helpful in understanding the public mindset toward unmarried mothers in the postwar years and how they were treated by their own families. It would be very helpful for any adoptees looking for their moms to read this book, as it explains why their moms gave them up unwillingly, and lists helpful resources for searchers.

I recently discovered a new second cousin who was given up for adoption in 1947. Her biological mother was confronted with an unexpected pregnancy during the era discussed in this book. The book gave me a great appreciation for what her experience must have been.

As an adoptee, I have learned tremendously from these brave women and their stories. I can only hope that my mother can be as strong and detach from the shame and end her silence. Thank you Ms. Fessler. Well done.

Must read for anyone involved in adoption including adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents, adoptive families, birth families, regulators, social service workers, etc. I am adopted and this was very eye opening.

I loved the way the author incorporated real life stories of women using their own words into excellent factual and exhasutive research. I could feel their pain in their stories. So many times I had to put the book down and cry with these girls who have carried so much pain for so long. Thank you, Ann Fessler for taking the time to write this book and help women everywhere understand what our sisters endured before Roe vs. Wade. This is not about pro-life or pro-choice; it is about history. A history every girl should know before she makes any decisions about her values on abortion.

Fessler's book is unpleasant and fascinating at the same time. She tells the stories of women during the Baby Boom era who were compelled to surrender their children to adoption. As the book makes clear, the term "surrender" seems terribly appropriate since their decision to give up their children was scarcely a decision at all. Social forces converged on young, pregnant woman to make it clear that they were rancid human beings and that they couldn't possibly be so cruel and selfish as to consider keeping their own flesh and blood. The lie that capped off all of these lies was that they would move on and forget all about the child they had lost.

The book is strongest when it simply recounts the oral histories of the woman who had to give up their children. Fessler never pretends that this is a scientifically representative sample. Fair enough; these stories are well worth telling.

The book is weakest when it tries to make sense of why society was so cruel to these young women. The analysis misses many obvious points. The adoption industry that she describes was extremely profitable. Not only did they charge the families for housing the young women (which she does note), but they made thousands of dollars from each child they sold/placed.

Men come off horribly in this book, which isn't all that surprising, given the subject matter. Look at the index under "father" and you'll see a list of evils that resembles a week's lineup on the Lifetime channel. Fessler even proposes (p. 76) that these young men were getting young women pregnant because of low self-esteem. Sorry, but there's a much more obvious explanation...

Additionally, a virtue of this book is that it nicely dispels the mythology of cultural conservatives that proclaims that unmarried people didn't have sex prior to the 1960's.

A really tough read ... REALLY tough; honestly I had about a 12 minute a day max until I came to terms with the bottom line of the book - for me at least: this is the story of my mother (of so many women and mothers of her generation) and I owe it to her to try to feel some of what she felt ... and to try to understand why she is the way that she is ... and this book really, truly helped me to do both. Ultimately, thankfully "the story" becomes one of hope, with the golden threads of healing, forgiveness and self awareness skillfully woven together by the author, and then multiplied by the sheer volume of stories. This is powerful, shocking, painful, sad and important. My thanks to the author ... this project could not have been easy.

This book tells many stories of women who were forced to hide and live throgh a pregnancy tainted with shame and humiliation. It was a time in history that must be exposed for the stupidity of the ways in which women were viewed. I would love to see Oprah interview the author and help bring this topic to light. She was instumental in many re-unions when minds and hearts began to open and show compassion.

The book was very insightful for providing a glimpse into the social setting that contributed to young women giving away their babies. How many childless couples of the last century received the benefit associated with the loss that these mothers experienced? Thank you to Ann Fessler for contributing to our understanding of the past, and how it has helped to shape the present.

I actually cried a few times while reading this book. I wish I could force all of the pro life people to read this book. They seem to think that putting a baby up for adoption is just a very simple solution to a simple little problem. It may often work out well for the baby and the adoptive parents but they never think about the long-term effects it has on the birth mother. At least nowadays it's possible to get a safe and legal abortion or to keep the child and raise it yourself with not as much judgement from society as a whole.

These are very interesting facts & an impacting perspective for those who grew up in those times. It allows those who were directly involved & those who knew someone who was, an inside view of the challenges & life altering perspective of women's circumstances prior to Roe v Wade.

I had hoped this book would includes discussions with children who were born to the birth mothers after they had given their first babies up for adoption. As a child who was born after a baby had been given up my relationship with my Mother is a real struggle. She really only ever wanted what she gave away not what she has in her two children who are with her now.

Moving and unputdownable, everyone should read this book to understand the position of women just a short time ago...it's a grim reminder of where we may wind up again if we take our progress for granted.

This book is fascinating, riveting and sad. As an adoptive mother from this era whose daughter just found her birth mother this is another side of adoption that I never gave much thought to. I recommend this book

I've always had sympathy for women who have experienced the loss of a child but even more so now for the ones who were made to give a child away under the social pressure and stigma of the fifties and sixties. Of course it was the girl who was at fault even though the situation still affects so many people, even years and decades later. A must read for its social, political and emotional content that will change the way you look at yourself and others. Giving voice to women who are traditionally silenced is nothing short of liberating, healing and courageous all at once.

This book helped me remember what the times were like for unmarried pregnant women during this time. It also helped me understand what my family member experienced when she surrendered her newborn child for adoption. Thank you all for telling your personal stories.

"The Girls Who Went Away, The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade," should be required reading for all mothers and families considering adoption for their precious babies and grandbabies. In fact, all adoption facilitators or prospective adopters should be required to hand mothers a copy to read before they can legally say a word to them about adoption. With adoption, knowledge is not only power, but survival. "The Girls" goes a long way towards providing that knowledge.

"The Girls Who Went Away" shows that adoption is about power and inequality and, especially in the era Fessler documents, about witch hunting. Fessler reveals that "The Girls" who were punished by incarceration in maternity reformatories and the snatching of their firstborn children for adoption were really just middle-class daughters and sisters, teens and adults, students and teachers, etc, who were mowed down by ignorant, old-fashioned prejudice and hate.

It is truly shocking to learn that many mothers were told by social workers that if they did not "choose" adoption for their babies-to-be, the social workers would leave their babies in the gutter to die, and to realize that social workers and adopters were cheerfully profiting off of the hysteria about single mothers and illegitimate children that they themselves promoted.

Fessler notes that mothers seeking help with their PTSD and terrible suffering thirty, forty, fifty years after their "crime" are usually subjected to counseling that ignores the human being in terrible pain and instead continues to promote adoption. It sounds similar to the so-called counseling the mothers received when their babies were being taken. Read this book and decide for yourself if that is really the kind of counseling that could genuinely help anybody or if it is just a continuation of the original punishment.

These adoptions Fessler and the mothers document are a terrible black mark on American history, about as undemocratic and anti-family as it gets, and for these mothers and their families, it now seems clear the violation will go on forever.

This book should be required reading by everyone who has been touched by adoption. Those particularly in need of its information are those in the healthcare and counseling fields who for years have said we moms would just move on and forget the child we lost.I'm going to suggest it to the doctor who told me to read, "Don't sweat the small stuff."

Thank you Ann for giving us moms a voice!

As an adoptee I came to recognize that the feelings of inadequacy I experienced most of life were directly tied to being relinquished (abandoned) as an infant. This book presents my story from my birth mothers point of view - we both are victims of the "primal wound".

This book is compassionate, insightful, well-researched and heartbreaking. I have learned so much! I am sad that I bought into so many societally based assumptions (ignorance is ignorance) and am grateful to be enlightened.

For anyone who lived through that era or knew women who did, it's a poignant look at another one of the horrors of sexism that women have suffered through and the veil of denial, secrecy and shame that have perpetuated it.

Very interesting read, especially as a birthmother myself.

NOTE: This product was a personal purchase for myself at the normal retail price. I'm reviewing it solely because I want to share my experience with other potential customers. I have received no compensation for my review, nor do I have any relationship with the seller or manufacturer of this product.