10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do - Love Factually

You are high status and no one, including yourself, can tell you otherwise. Although, I’m not 100% onboard with everything in the book, the author makes it well-known that you don’t have to be. Find the elements that work for you and repeat them!

I absolutely love this book! The author’s own life stories combined with the science of humans makes this book essential reading. It is funny, serious and very well written. Everyone will learn something from Love Factually; the happily married, the engaged or the single person. I found the right partner at 40, but if this book had been published earlier I may have found him sooner. This book answers all the questions that go around and around and around in our heads when we are dating, should I do this? Should I do that? What should I do? Love Factually has the answers in black and white (and audio). I wish this book had been available many years ago. Thank you Dr. Welch for sharing your experience and understanding with all of us.

I first became acquainted with Dr. Duana Welch’s work in 2010 (the housework as aphrodisiac article) through her question & answer blog, Love Science. Her tongue-in-cheek style of writing, along with sound research-based advice (rather than opinion) resonated with me.

During these intervening years, it has become clear that Dr. Duana believes that although love is a precious commodity, it should be for everyone. Her book, Love Factually – 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, gives practical advice on improving your odds of finding love (including deftly advising how one can improve oneself without condescension), how to choose a dating website and how to present yourself, along with positive self-talk, among other essential topics all of which keep the end in mind – finding love.

All of her advice is backed and cited by noted researchers and studies, many of whom have endorsed her book.
Something that surprised me about Love Factually, is that it addresses same-sex relationships. I am not surprised, however, that Dr. Duana speaks to same-sex couples, but rather that the premise of the book can actually apply to everyone. This just emphasizes that Dr. Duana’s commitment to love for everyone.

What is revolutionary about Love Factually, is that it combines relationship science with practical relationship advice (ladies, let the man pay for the date!). Love Factually will help you sort out “players from stayers.” This would have saved a lot of time and heartbreak during my dating years. Ultimately, we don’t want the partner we can merely “live with” – we want the one we cannot live without. With Dr. Duana and Love Factually by your side, they will help you each step of the way.

Duana Welch has written SO much great information on understanding men, women, and relationships! Attachment style was particularly fascinating and revealing to the reader about so many things - Thank you Duana for this gift to readers!

If you are single or have single friends that want to be with the "one", this book is a must have. Buy it for them and they will thank you, heck by it yourself and coach them and you will be a love guru in their eyes. Dr. Welch scientifically takes you through the process of finding the right person. It's an easy read, with out all the mumbo jumbo of science. This book isn't coated in nonsense and half truths, Dr. Welch uses science to base all her reasoning and answers from. A little gem of a book that will help you in the ever so confusing relationship realm.

Unfortunately, I cannot add much to what has already been written about Love Factually but I'm glad to see that many people loved this book and what it had to offer as much as I did!

This witty, well-written, science backed advice will have you excited to keep reading; it is definitely a page turner. Love Factually is for anyone who is looking for a lasting love, those wondering what they've done wrong in previous relationships, lovers of learning, those interested in psychology, and all those who enjoy a good book! I genuinely appreciate what Dr. Duana Welch offers in her endearing book and I anxiously await her next one.

The many positive aspects of LOVE FCTUALLY are described in the other reviews. Rather than talk about what is IN the book, I’m going to describe what I am doing WITH the book. How many books can you give your single friends, friends’ single kids, and your own single kids that can help them make the life they want? LOVE FACTUALLY is one of those very few such books. When I buy the book as a gift, I put this note in the front: “Finding the right partner is likely to be one of the most important decisions you will make in life. We bought this book for you because it can help you make that decision. All the singles we know and care about are getting a copy from us. We are grateful to be able to share this book with you because there’s more than luck to having a love-filled fulfilling life. Doug and Linda Carnine.”

Where was Duana when I was dating 20+ years ago? I made all the mistakes that Duana describes. I dumped a guy for not liking my kids, and had several propose to me irrationally. I had to break up and with many and that was awkward - and broke my heart! I over-analyzed guys and their games - or lack of playing the game. Duana's scientific approach is rational and effective. She could have saved me lots of time and heart ache. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for love in the wrong places. You know who you are! You don't want your friends to know you are reading a self-help book on love? Put a recycled brown paper bag on the outside of the book!

Duana Welch has hit a home run with Love Factually! Long overdue, she brings the science of mate selection and evolutionary psychology to the contemporary conversation about finding a life partner. Mating psychology is largely unconscious – and that gives it a lot of control over us, and a lot of power to cause pain. Welch is an authentic voice for reason that prevents more pain! Highly referenced, Love Factually provides the antidote to our illusions. She exhorts the need for clarity about what you want and what you offer in return. Welch is the first to name “mating centrism” -- our nurtured, irrational belief that the other sex has the same motivation and strategies as we do. Welch also debunks bromides of pop-psychology like “before you can be happy with someone else, you have to be happy with yourself,” and “love only happens when you are not looking.” Welch saves us a trip to the psychotherapist’s office by teaching us about attachment styles and how they matter. Duana Welch is genuine in her “voice” – this is her setback to comeback story that is politically incorrect and funny. You may not like her take on co-habitation, but she is just reporting the nasty odds supported by research. Her “5 more traits to value” may be the most succinct and wise counsel in the entire manuscript. Get this book and be informed. There is a science of the mating economy. Take note.

Love Factually is a frank, yet effective, guide through the perils and pitfalls of dating that will increase your chances of building a good relationship and marriage. It offers strategies on how to find people who are a good match for you, as well as and how to filter out people who aren't right for you, including potential abusers and narcissists.

This is the book I wish I had had to help me through the dating process. My wife and I have bought it for our kids and for friends. This book did not exist when my wife and I started dating, but we were able to use many of the same principles from the author's blog as an important source of information. It wasn't our only source at the time, but it turns out that a number of resources we used are on Dr Welch's recommended reading list.

Much of the core information that I had to gather from multiple sources is brought together into this one volume. Love Factually can give you a solid understanding of what to do, how to do it, and why. If you want to go more in depth to understand certain subjects better, Dr. Welch recommends solid resources that will allow you to do so.

Some of the biggest names in love, marriage, and relationship research have endorsed Love Factually, and have pointed out that it is based on solid science. As someone who has used these principles in real life to cultivate a fulfilling marriage, I highly recommend it.

I first heard Duana Welch on various podcasts I listen to. The interviews were fascinating so I purchased this book in audio format. This book was amazing in that it explains so much of the evolutionary psychology behind dating and relationships. We may not like what we learn but its accurate and there are numerous times in the book where I realized why I behaved the way that I did in past relationships. Understanding the primitive and instinctual reasons for our behaviors, we can learn to recognize and tweak them to our benefit.

In addition to its appeal to coeval society, Love Factually also presents underlying principles which hold its own in modern evolutionary biology. Not only will this book change the life of persons stuck in a pattern of failed relationships, but also will it expand the means by which one thinks about love and relationships in general. Although the relationship between nature and nurture in gender has been researched many times over, Dr. Welch offers a very unique interpretation through an assimilation of her personal experience. Her perspective in particular, adds a very intimate level to the anthropological origins of gender roles and relationships--the history of which, falls short of ideal. Nevertheless, Dr. Welch instills hope, through reason, in a world of seemingly plagued by dead ended romantic endeavors.

This book was very helpful and insightful! Three coworkers read it and passed it along to me. Two of them are now engaged! This book is rich with studies and statistics about men, women, relationships, and behaviors. You learn about yourself in the process and how to have more self respect. This book also has helpful tips on how to have those conversations with someone who isn't completely compatible. Don't settle! The right one is out there and Duana will explain it all. :) Happy reading!

Love Factually was such a refreshing read. In a world of bias and stereotypes, this book actually takes a hard look and love from a scientific, research based perspective. I would read it again and definitely recommend it to others.

Love Factually came out a week before a three-year break-up and it could not have been at a better time in my life. Dr. Welch is charming, funny, raw and real by adding touches of her own real-life experiences and those of her faithful blog readers. I cannot speak for everyone but in the dating world I have been a tad clueless, this book has enlightened me by using scientifically proven facts on what works and what doesn't. The book includes tips on everything, even where to start looking for a mate. One of the most interesting and my favorite parts of the book is the chapter that discusses cohabitation. Had I read this book, say ten years ago, I would have never cohabited. I have started the book for the third time this week because I cannot get enough. Its information and insight have changed the way I look at finding a life-long partner, not just someone to fill a void. I recently began dating again and this book pushed me out the door. I am on my way to finding the love I deserve! Thank you, Dr. Welch!

Chapter 8 (breaking up without breaking down: flunk wrong relationships to ace the one) guided me to “break up” with my dead-end job to find a long lasting meaningful career. Probably not what the writer had intended but this was an "ah-ha" moment for me as I listened to the audiobook. With the support of my close friends, I felt confident in the next steps I knew I had to take. It took 4 months, but I start my new career tomorrow.

Love Factually is the first book of its kind that I truly enjoyed! Duana is honest, funny, straight forward and bases it all on science rather than opinion. I've got the audio version as well and appreciate that Duana is the narrator.

Like another reviewer, I am 10 years happily married now and how I WISH I had this book during my 20+ years of dating until I found my Mr. Right. If only I had been able to follow Duana's advice from the get-go, I would have avoided years of heartbreak, embarrassing "cringe" moments and time spent yearning after men who weren't interested in me. This is a smart, informative, science-based guide to finding the love of your life, but don't let the word "science" deter you, it's written in a very conversational style, like you're sitting in a warm, comfy chair, drinking a nice glass of wine with a girlfriend and getting the best dating advice of your life!

What an AMAZING book. It gives science backed strategies to take the luck out of the game of love and replace it with skill. Unlike most research books that I have read Welch talks to you as if you were sitting across the table. It is filled with personal stories and humor that not only make this an educational read but a fun read. A book that you want to read again and again. While I wish this book was around in my early 20's I am glad that I have it in my life now! If you read only one book for the rest of your life make it Love Factually

Fabulous book rooted in fact! As a scientist myself, I appreciate that Dr. Welch researched and articulated fact-based findings on this subjective and often agonizing subject. Bolstered by research in mating psychology, the stories woven throughout the book are relatable, and told in a way that is both straightforward and humorous. For its scientific emphasis, candid delivery, insightful reflections, and solid advice, I highly recommend this book to anyone who seeks success in this game of love.

Another repeat of views from the 50's using pseudoscience and a lot of her own relationship (which frankly doesn't sound great to me) as "proof" that playing hard to get gets you the man.

Frankly, anyone can attract a needy guy who will go to great lengths to get the women they believe they "love". I have - in fact, he was a millionaire - and I dumped him because to be honest, I don't want someone who throws themselves at my feet pathetically because they are so keen tohave a relationship. If a guy tells you he loves you before he knows you...RED FLAG! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

Its not about being owned, or getting married. These are outdated Christian views being regurgitated and making young women feel uncomfortable with themselves - not biological science which actually indicates the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what she is saying.

Everyone wants fidelity and commitment WHEN they want fidelity and commitment. This isn't a male or female trait. And if you and a guy hit it off, when you sleep with him has little to do with it. Playing awkward games has been known to lose most men because they know you are playing an awkward game instead of...*shock* GETTING TO KNOW THEM AND TREAT THEM AS A PERSON!

Don't make him your universe and don't act needy and don't try to make him your daddy and he will like you. Not surprisingly, this woreks the opposite way too.

Also, the stats she quotes are from limited studies. For example, there are many stats that show Men and Women want to date people their own age. And a lot of studies that show guys don't mind dating a single mom.

Plus, this book really only applies to a Christian USA. Not the rest of the world.

I was pretty disappointed - I had hoped to get useful tips and all I got was old, regurgitated, Christian bulls***. This doesn't apply to the Tinder world at all.

Awesome book! Much insight and beyond normal ideas about relationships/dating. Great advise and tips/information. I am very glad I read this book. It is not a repeat of other books. Thanks Duana for writing this book...awesome help! Happiness...

Duana Welch has written SO much great information on understanding men, women, and relationships! Attachment style was particularly fascinating and revealing to the reader about so many things - Thank you Duana for this gift to readers!