No Greater Joy: Volume One

Where have the last couple of generations gone wrong? It has been in moving away from sound Biblical doctrine and adopting worldly "feel-good" forms of discipline (time-outs), positive affirmation, and blaming others (he's a middle child). The Bible says, "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." Proverbs 29:15 Hmmmmm. Do you feel ashamed when you look at your children who don't obey you and disrespect other adults? In a culture where children are being nursed by television and practical strangers, could this proverb be any more true? My own grandmother says, "You don't need that switch. That baby (2-year-old) is so sweet." And to that I reply, "What do you think made her that way? It certainly wasn't her human nature." The proof is in the results. When we go out in public, my child does not throw mashed potatoes at the restaurant wall, she does not tell us "NO!", and she makes no disruptions (only people commenting on how sweet and good she is). All of this is because at home, we train her to obey. We did not allow her to develop such bad habits. If she displayed that attitude once, we put a stop to it. She was not abused. She was trained that that was an unacceptable behavior. People do it with dogs all of the time. They do it with horses. Circuses train elephants and bears. Why would I treat my animals any better than I treat my children? I would only do this if my values were seriously screwed up and I had no fear of the Almighty God.

The Pearls teach how to TRAIN your children so they won't need DISCIPLINE. They don't tell you to HIT them. They tell you to apply the ROD (a Biblical concept: Prov. 13:24, Prov. 22:15, Prov. 23:13-14) in a loving, instructive way so as to TRAIN them UP in the way they should go. If you don't train them, they will go the way the wind blows. Then you have to figure out a way to bend/break them out of their disobedience and back into the proper path (discipline). It is easier on the children to train them in the beginning than to wait until they have bad habits that have to be broken. It really is quite an amazing concept- one instituted by God and not the Pearls. They have simply obeyed the Word and become wise beyond many a psychologist's years. You really have to read this book to appreciate their instruction. They simply take what God has commanded that we do (use the rod to train up our children) and show us some creative ways that they have learned to implement them. I am blessed to have such a wise counsel in the Pearls.

Here's a thought: MANY A MAN HAS TRAINED HIS DOG BETTER THAN HE HAS TRAINED HIS CHILDREN. THAT IS CHILD ABUSE!

What the Pearls teach is not abuse if it is done in a loving, kind, Godly manner. It is YOUR ATTITUDE that makes the difference. I think that's what a lot of these nay-sayers are afraid of. They can't handle the pressure. It takes a lot of love and patience and wisdom to stay home with two-year-olds and babies (at the same time!) and do household chores and manage the bills and make out grocery lists and cook supper and satisfy a spouse and wash clothes and..........or we could just hire a sitter and go off to work where we only have to obey man and not God.......

Christians have got to stop living like the world. Our children deserve better.

On p. 85 Michael Pearl recommends giving a little girl who won't get into her car seat "five licks with a stinging switch." If the girl still doesn't get in the seat "repeat the switching." If the little girl continues to refuse to get in the seat he says to take the seat into the house and strap the girl in it for "two or three hours." (This is but a small sample from the book)

As an educator, Christian, and mother of four, I am mortified that it is actually legal for a book encouraging violence against children to be sold anywhere. Jesus modeled grace and gentility, not control and the infliction of pain upon babies.

This book is simply horrible and the advice concerning child raising given in it is barbaric. To give the book the attribute "christian" is cynical and completely absurd. I give just one out of many examples:

When a 3 year old screams the Pearls recommend: "without saying a word go straight to the switch. Spank her where she stands." "Never threaten, and never show mercy. One squeak of a scream gets a switching." p.26 The Pearls apparently have never read the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus says "Blessed are the merciful!"

Don't read or buy the book!

About 15 years ago, a friend introduced me to "No Greater Joy" and Mike and Debi Pearl's books. I had 3 young children and God has used Mike and Debi time and time again to work in my life, as He would shape and mold me to accept the whole Word of God. As for my children? I now have 5 treasures aged 19-9. They would tell you how their mom has changed and our home went from chaos to peace and from discord to joy. I have come to truly love my husband and children, enjoy them, treasure them and since I was able to train them at a young age, we are able to serve together instead of having to "deal with teenage things". I praise God often for Mike and Debi Pearl.

My heart breaks for all the children of people who believe this insane advice. This book starts from the view that all people are born "bad" and must be molded into a decent human being. The Pearls seem to believe that hitting is a good way to do that molding.

They even suggest using a "switch" or a stick on a 4 month old baby!?! That is simply cruel- there is not other way about it.

I think that it is terrible that these so-called Christians are preying on other's fears of their children not becoming good people.

This is definitely abuse!

If you're wanting to raise emotionally void, violent children, then this is the book for you. Want to go to prison for criminal child abuse? Here's your handbook on how to get there.

If the Pearl's do half of what they advise other parents to do in this dreadful book, then prison is MUCH too nice a place for them. They are monsters and this book is a travesty.

Excerpt from Book:"If a child hits, bites, kicks or shoves he should get "a thorough spanking. Children must be taught that violence is never an acceptable alternative in personal conflicts."
Use violence to stop violence? Real logical...
People use the Bible to justify their ignorance. Unfortunately the only place it says that in the Bible is in proverbs which was written by King solomon. Guess how his son turned out? Horrifically, not someone to take parenting advice...try again!
They also say "well I was hit, and I'm fine!." You could've been better. No one needs to be hit. It's NOT a loving thing to do! Get real...who would think that, except someone brainwasheed! Really, hitting is love? That's ridiculous! Even animals are not allowed to be hit in society, so why is it ok for children. As Oprah says, "when people know better they do better". Unfortunately not enough people know better!
It never ceases to amaze me what people do to their children!!!

I usually don't review items but after seeing the obscene number of negative comments on this book and the Pearls in gerneral i have to stand in their defense. Myself and my 3 younger siblings were raised in a very similar manner to what is described in this book. yes i have read it cover to cover as well as the next two volumes and To Train Up A Child )I would like to clearly state that not only am i completely emotionally,spiritually and physically stable, but i am a grateful,capable, happy adult living a fulfilling life alongside my husband who by the way has a past in which he finds painful regret due to a lack of similar training as a child/adolescent and together we are raising our 15 month old daughter in like fashion. She is more obedient, more intelligent, more observant, and more cheerful than any of her peers and is a true delight to be around.She loves and respects us and is thoroughly enjoying life as a child while learning valuable principles and disciplines that are preparing her to become a responsible, self controlled, socially adept adult. And that is not just a mother's biased opinion. You will, by the way, find the same testimony coming from the mouths of the very children who were "abused" by these "heretics".All five of them.And in 15 years you will hear the same testimony from all 19+ grandchildren. I find it extremely interesting that none of the negative reviews are from people who have actually tried the principles that the Pearls promote...as for the numerous mentions of the death of children at the hands of parents carrying out the Pearls "abuse" - with everything moderation. Just like there are those who can buy a bottle of wine and drink just one glass, there are those who are not satisfied until they are bent over the toilet in agony and regret, or passed out in a hallway with no recollection of how they got there. Those children didn't die because the parents "trained them up the the way they should go " , they died because their parents were reckless,angry,out of control,and ignorant.But of course, Lord forbid that anyone should have taken a switch to their defiant little rear ends when as children themselves, they were honing these admirable traits.

What their child training is really about:

"It is true that we occasionally hear that young mothers and more seldom, fathers, take what we teach out of context and misuse their children. First, love your child. Care that the child is well, happy, and relaxed. Training should not be tense, upsetting, hurtful, or pushed. It should be a simple exercise in showing the child what you want him to do. A tiny stimulus to direct the child when they are small is enough. For example, if a 3 month-old nursing baby bites, don't spank. She does not know she did bad. Just gently pull a hair on her head. She will startle back in momentary discomfort and immediately start nursing again. The tiny bit of discomfort makes the baby relate the biting down with the gentle pulling of the hair. You have not made her obey, you have only conditioned her to respond differently. That is training. If you take a 13 week-old baby who is fussing, and squirming and pop her leg, it will only bring more fussing and crying. The child cannot relate those 2 events. She most likely has a tummy ache that needs some relief, not added pain. Ask God for wisdom. He promises to give to those who simply ask."

That these types of books are allowed to be publised makes me sick, not to mention how sick I feel knowing that there are people out there actually treating children the ways intended in this book. These are babies, they have no concept of right from wrong and beating in into them is beyond wrong. I wouldn't treat a rodent the way that these people are suggesting to treat children. Please realize that babies need LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, NOT beatings. Anyone even considering these methods should be checked by social services.

After reading and applying secular book methods with my children I was in trouble. My children were unhappy and terrorist-in-training. Being a mother became a chore. No Greater Joy taught me the fundamentals of training a child. After reading the negative reviews I realized they must not of read the book and listened to the tapes. His loving spirit is evident in his writings and voice. My children now are very happy. At public pre-school the teacher told me that Tiffany was the best in her class. She plays well in all settings and is extremely smart. Children feel safe in boundaries and consistency. When they get in real life settings everyone doesn't give in to their every whim and it confuses them. Stunting their ability to learn. If the child is in charge of the home then she has no one to lean on for strength.

Because I taught her to discipline herself, last night she put a 24 piece Dora puzzle together in less than three minutes. Her only second time doing a puzzle.

I now never have to raise my voice at my children. I don't have to worry about them running in front of vehicles if someone talks to me in the parking lot. My son is three and she is five.

The REAL ABUSE is not letting your children know what is expected of them. It affects their self-esteem to do get in trouble for things that they were allowed to do the day before. AND that is unfair. I have talked to parents who lose their temper on their kids and act like that happens every one and a while. They yell at their kids out of frustration or spank them with anger. THAT IS ABUSE!!!! Pearls say never discipline your child in anger. That tells them that they were spanked for irritating you instead of doing something harmful.

We live in a society with whatever feels good DO IT! No matter how it affects other people. The Pearl way of discipline helps our children to have impulse control. It helps them be thoughtful of others and loving to one another. Spanking without self-control and consistency is a terrible tool. Go to the Website nogreaterjoy.org it has an article defense on chastisment. It will help you to decide whether or not you will like this book. You will either love it or hate it. A book that gets such a response has to be powerful.

I hope this review will give you pause for thought. Again those who wrote the negative reviews seem to have an angry attitude. It seems they have a problem with impulse control themselves. I feel sorry for their children.

The tactics described here are beyond horrible. They are abusive-- mental, physical, and emotional. I read this with my jaw hanging open. I am sure some of these tips could cause the serious injury or even death of your child. Not to mention turning them into little psychopaths!

These authors have no credentials, no heart, and no sense. I wouldn't take their advice about caring for a pet rock, much less a child.

Athough it's a miracle that these pepoele are literate enough to compile a book that is where the miracle ends.

Their book has served as a guide to death for several children.

[...]

Please do not take their advice and use plumbing supplies to beat your children.

If you read this book and take their "advice" there's a good likelihood that Children's Protective Services will come a knockin' at your door.

I'm begging you to not beat your children or purchase this abomination.

This book should be banned! It glorifies and promotes child abuse and downright cruelty. I am amazed that there are people in this world who even think this way, let alone find a publisher to print their dangerous material. the store will loose my custom if it continues to give this book a viewing. The book encourages beating babies in the name of discipline and they do this in the name of Christianity. These are not the Christian values i was brought up with!

This book is nothing more than an instruction manual on how to abuse your children. It encourages 'disciplining' children as young as a few months old for things as natural as crying!

How can it possibly be right to chastise a young baby for crying!?

The pearls claim that this form of 'training' children is done through love. Is this how we treat people we love if they do something we don't agree with? Smack them with a weapon until we beat them into submission? No, why? because it would be illegal! So why on earth can it ever be seen as acceptable to do it to a baby or young child?

This book and these people sicken me, they are dangerous and poisonous to all they come in contact with.

PLEASE do not buy this book, if you are really looking for help with parenting keep looking there are many many good books out there that can help you.

This is one of the most disgusting books ever written. The Pearls are sick individuals who should be rotting in jail for their part in promoting child abuse. If you read this book understand that it is not the way you want to raise your children.

This book literally made me feel sick. The sadistic nature of the Pearl's ideas toward children are way out of line with normal, healthy parenting. Stay far away from this book. Unless you, too, want to join the Pearls and their sadistic cult.

Growing up in a loving, non-violent household, I am awestruck at the ideas suggested in this book. The overall principle is to switch or whip your child into immediate obedience. Nothing is said about taking the time to socialize children in a loving way, just getting immediate compliance. This is lazy at best and grounds for investigation at worst. The book even recommends switching babies younger than 12 months! The ideas in the book are said to be based in religion, but no doubt God is saddened that parents would treat children this way. PLEASE do not buy this book!

I could NEVER imagine Jesus treating a child the way the Pearls recommend. We ask ourselves all the time "What would Jesus do?" in every situation -- why not with our children? He must be weeping to see his little ones hurting so. :( This is abusive garbage. There ARE other ways to truly discipline your child with love. Spanking and other things the Pearls recommend are not really discipline and are not really Biblical!!!

This book deserves no stars. It deserves to be removed from print. As a parent practicing Attachment Parenting, I was horrified when I perused this book and read what these people are trying to teach parents. This book is nothing but a manual for child abuse! It glorifies using a switch to hit babies as young as 3 months. This book is a disgrace. I hope that parents looking for discipline help turn to such noted experts as Dr. and Martha Sears, and the "Discipline Book" as well as the numerous others that are truly helpful and will encourage parents to discipline--NOT hit--their beautiful and remarkable children.

This book is very dangerous. The things advocated are not only illegal (spanking, switching an infant!) they are very abusive. These people are an insult to the Christian religion. Their attitudes towards children AND women are disgusting and scary. Their whole agenda gives me the creeps!

Switching children? Beating them with plumbing supplies?

It is ludicrous that this type of material is still widely sold, and touted as a guide to parenting.

It's a guide to child abuse, just like all of their other books.

Consistency in TRAINING eliminates the need for discipline. This book is about more than learning how to 'spank a child.' It calls parents into an intentional joyfilled relationship with their children. It helped remind us that parenting is the most important job we could ever do. We take joy in our kids and are thankful for the Pearl's wisdom in child training.

Ridiculous and disgusting. You cannot strike someone out of love. Abuse is abuse, no matter how you dress it up. Beating your children into stoic submission is not child rearing.

If you were to use these methods with an animal, you would be charged with animal abuse. How is that acceptable for children?

Michael Pearl is an evil and dangerous man whos tactics dont border on child abuse, they are child abuse. No privacy, no trust, continual beatings. As a born again Christian I am appalled and dismayed that this judgmental, selfrighteous ill informed fool actually runs a website and tries to give advice to poor people suffering from pornography addiction to child raising issues. Not only should his book be banned but his cult should be investigated for human rights violations

See the Sean Paddock case recently completed in Johnson County, NC.
The mother followed the recommendations of these dreadful people. A 4-year-old is dead, and the abusive mother will serve life in the penitentiary for MURDER.

This was an excellent book. Thank you for offering it. It provided excellent insight on how to discipline and train my child in a fashion that is extremely practical. The information was powerful yet subtle. I wish that this book was available to more parents in today's society.

The educational methods described in this book are a combination of physical abuse, emotional torturing and terror and will certainly provoke irreversible injuries in the lives of the children that are submitted to it.

The authors show their distorted ideas about children and have twisted them into very dangerous beliefs about upbringing. Their methods have no foundation in pedagogy at all and are harmful and damaging.

Tycho Vecht PhD

Bottom Line....physically hurting children teaches violence and aggressive behavior. Proven again and again in current clinical research. Wake up people, put the belts away.

My parents NEVER struck me but I FEARED them due to RESPECT!!! They didn't need to spank me. If your children don't respect YOU then buy a book on changing YOURSELF not YOUR KIDS! You are the one with the problem, NOT YOUR KIDS.

If you are doing it correctly, there is no need for physical reprimands.
Hello? Everything is all mental...not needing to be physical. Take a look at your voice, your actions. Read BOOKS ABOUT DEALING WITH KIDS AT THEIR AGE.

I see soooo many parents so frustrated with their toddlers when it's obvious the child is over tired (no sleep schedules, no nap schedules, up too late) or poor diet. Yes, diet. Feed your kid juice and garbage and guess what? They act like the garbage you feed them.

It amazes me that poor parenting skills result in the child getting a whipping. Wake up!!

This is first rate instruction for raising happy, well adjusted children. The Pearl children, and grandchildren are living proof, and their joyful testimonies in the Pearl materials are indisputable evidence of the this reality: there is "No Greater Joy" than raising Godly children His way!

People who are trying to raise kids in this culture need something besides manic ranting about abuse. The culture itself abuses kids. Public schools abuse a kid's intelligence. Television abuses children. Parents abuse when they fail to raise their children to be autonomous adults.

Unless you've already raised teens through the difficult years, you don't really know what you are talking about regarding either the long term consequences of child training or the best way to discipline.

This book is a very good book and all the Pearl's ideas need to be taken together as a whole. No one talks more sense about the problem of young people rejecting their families (abandoning ship as he calls it), and why that happens, than Michael Pearl. I wish we had been thinking these things when our oldest son abandoned ship for the *exact* reasons that Pearl talks about.

Many flakey people are taking one idea and exploding it into a system that does not represent what the Pearl's advocate. People who want the police to follow up on anyone who buys this book are unstable.

These people advocate the outright abuse of children. They instruct readers to whip babies as young as 6 months with leather belts. I implore anyone out there to please not buy or read this book. It is pure evil.

This is a most alarming and disgusting book. I have very conservative and Christian beliefs, yet the suggestions in this book are downright abusive. In California, what this woman suggests would either land you in jail or have CPS remove your parental rights. I am appalled at this terrible book and that it can even be in print to urge people to abuse their children. Whipping a baby??? YOu have got to be kidding me! I have 5 beautiful, well behaved kids without having to abuse them. I hope that no one buys this book, but more importantly, I hope these people go to jail and that these kids are removed and care for appropriately.

This book advocates not only vile abuse and neglet of children, but animals as well. It is heartbreaking. It is the abuser's instruction manual. How frightening to think that the children of these types of homes will be future members of society (should they survive childhood).How terribly sad. New parents, STAY AWAY FROM THIS BOOK. I gave it one star because at least one was required.

Having already read and reviewed Debi Pearl's "Help Meet" I decided to check out some of the Pearls' other books. It gets even worse. Their methods of child rearing are absurd. Even a dog gets trained with positive reinforcement. To break a child's will is criminal.

All of the child training books by Micheal Pearl are, hands down, the BEST out there. For those of us who aren't sissies and who want to truly love our children, take heart and read these books! They are so revolutionary, I wish I could tell every one I meet about them. Life changing!!!!

Many Christian books have given me valued instruction on child rearing, but this is the very best! Be advised that this book is to be used by Christian parents who wish to raise loving Christian children. If you want to raise what passes for "normal" children; this is not for you. Should you wish to raise kind,loving,self confident Christian children: this is the book.

this book is absolutely disgusting and a disgrace to the bible, God and the joys of parenting. This is cruel punishment to infants and young children. It takes all the fun out of their childhood. Children are supposed to scream, run, eat foods they want and don't eat the foods they don't like. This book should be outlawed and the authors should be thrown in prison for child abuse.

How can these Pearls continue writing these whipping books? The scenario about the 11-month-old having its hand whipped because it didn't want it's food is evil, not beautiful. Anybody who thinks that whipping any person's hand, let alone a baby's, should hang their heads in shame. I must feel for that poor baby crying afterwards.