Preparing To Be a Help Meet

This book explores many interesting ideas and thoughts about the preparation that needs to happen before you get married. It provided lots of great ideas about what is beneficial to a relationship and what is destructive. I would recommend this book to women in relationships that are just beginning from that which is more serious and contemplating marriage.

There is nothing better than a timely word!!!! This book really encouraged me to be patient as a young single woman. It also helped to put into perspective the characteristics of different types of men based on the holy trinity ( father, son, holy spirit). A must read for anyone who wants to gain Godly perspective on preparing for marriage.

This a great book that I would recommend for women of all ages, even married ones. I wish that I would have had this book 5 years ago to prepare for my marriage. As a married woman I stilled learned a lot about the way men think and ideas for better household management. I really appreciate the authors willingness to teach Biblical principles and I would highly recommend it!

Wow! Love this book! I am currently using this awesome tool to teach and train many young women what it means to be a suitable helper to her husband! It has changed lives! Yes, it appears to be 'old-fashioned' at first but once we begin to delve into the Bible and use the book to compliment it is eye-opening! I feel God's calling on my life to 'teach and train' the younger women and I'm using this book as one resource to do just that! Thank you, thank you, thank you for this resource and not 'candy-coating' what women must be in their marriage! I used the 'Created to Be His Helpmeet' book to do a 14 week Bible study with our Small Group ladies (14 of us), last year and we all still talk about it! It changes the way we think and dispels the lies of our culture!!

Please purchase Created to His Helpmeet to truly understand the ramifications of being a helpmeet. Women aren't really taught the GODLY way of being a man's companion. A helpmeet isn't a wife she's GOD's finished work once man was created. Wife is something that man has written in the bible.

This book unfortunately struck me as terribly ill-informed and myopic in its use of scripture. Time and again the exegesis is poorly conducted and left me with an overall sense of the author(s) coming to scripture on their own terms rather than coming to scripture on it's terms and allowing it to simply speak. The original Hebrew words translated and utilized in this book as "help meet" simply do not convey the original language, context, meaning, nor application. For an entire book to be based upon the premise of these two highly nuanced Hebrew words, yet wield the words in an overly simplistic at best and careless/presumptuous/harmful fashion at worst while covered in the language of “pleasing God” was very disappointing.

This book could be very misleading to young women who do not have a clear understanding of scripture or God's character. In her first chapter, Debi implies that it is up to us to manage the issues of life, "God does not force himself or his blessings upon us. He trusts us to see the need and make a request. In other words, we direct affairs with our prayers. God may want to help, but he does not do so until we ask. " At the end of chapter one she implies that the reason many more preachers are not raised up by God is the fault of those who did not pray for them. Although our prayers do effect our lives here on earth I feel that these statements are not consistent with a God who is also the Good Father and desires to give His children good gifts. It also is not consistent with His sovereignty.

I found many minute truths hidden among the ridiculousness, but not enough to warrant finishing the book. I read portions out loud to my bible study group and we determined that Debi is operating under a works vs grace mentality when it comes to being a wife and mother. She held incredibly high standards for the girls reading this book, and I firmly believe that no one could do all those things.

The final issue I had was that she encourages the young women reading her book to become the ideal help meet for every kind of man. Asking them to discover how to cultivate what each kind of man needs. This seems stupid since they will only marry one kind. Why not just be who God made you to be. I think Proverbs 31 stands alone in this area.

Abusive teachings with twisted scriptures to back it up. She comes up with a warped theory of personality which she mixes with out of context scripture to create a false sense of "a good Christian wife". It's really about how men are in total control and women must do their every bidding or they're sinful failures who must repent. It's about enabling men to blame their wives for every problem so they don't have to face consequences or responsibility. It's sugared up to be this "beautiful" picture of respect, but it's not reality. It's a twisted narrative to make women feel guilty and sinful for not letting men control and abuse them. I'm so sorry for anyone who has been swept up in an abusive church family... it has nothing to do with what the Bible truly says and is about.

I absolutely LOVED this book! I am 14 years old, and my mother bought me this book so that I could spend my youth honoring God and preparing for the second half of my life. I was truly blessed by this book. Nowadays, kids are so into dating that they forget that they should be preparing for marriage! So much time is committed to having fun and feeling good feelings that no one remembers that they should be saving themselves for the one God has for them. Problems with dating go beyond wasting time and taking it away from preparing, they leave millions of people with scars. Not just emotional scars, but also mistakes that will haunt them when they do find the one and only. Saving yourself for marriage is a VERY IMPORTANT concept that is being forgotten in today's society. I bless Debi Pearl for writing this book and highly recommend it to any young girl waiting for her husband. It doesn't introduce any inappropriate topics, or topics that should be saved for an older audience, and - as nearly every young girl (myself included) dreams about her future romance, it offers ideas as to what we should be doing in the meantime. Good reading!

I picked up this book after having a failed marriage. Part of why i bought the book I felt like I really didn't understand marriage or my "place" or even the point is some instances... This book is definitely a must read if you want to prepare yourself, put things in perspective and know what to figure out before you get married. This book does have a little bit of agenda pushing in regard to holistic medicines and also does talks down to some about being pure and attracting a "pure" mate... ideally that would be great but what about those of us who didn't grow up that way or have made some mistakes it doesn't talk much about what hope we have. But even with that the book has a lot of good information and ideas that show how easy it can be to get caught up in all the wrong things and attitudes. There are some stories that feel a bit "dressed up" or exaggerated or unrealistic but they still show what can happen and gives clear examples of things and attitudes to avoid. This isn't perfect but nothing by humans ever is and this book will certainly set you on the right path, maybe everything wont apply to you but I believe if you have an open heart and mind there is something for every bride or even an already married woman.

My bible study group at college was given this book to work through this semester. Ms. Pearl has completely unrealistic personal opinions that she mixes with some biblical principles when many of her opinions can not be supported biblically. She spouts ridiculous ideals for women to uphold at housewives, basically condemning any other way of raising children or running households. She tells women that they are smarter than doctors, should be experts on all topics known to mankind and should live only to please their husbands in every way possible. While it is biblical to respect the authority of your husband, relationships between husband and wives are represented in the book as then man dominating the woman, doing whatever he wants and expecting the wife to just handle all of his choices. There is no focus on a woman's personal relationship with God. The personal examples of love stories she gives are completely unrealistic for normal girls, no one has a random friend just propose to them out of nowhere and gets married a week later! She discourages courtship and getting to know your potential spouse before marriage, which is extremely unwise and irrational.

This book was a waste of time and extremely discouraging to read both alone and in a bible study format. I would not recommend it to anyone.

Sample lines from this book: "God gave man the kind of nature that would be suitable to hold the superior office in the chain of command. A wife's position under her husband is where God put her for her own spiritual, emotional, and physical safety. It is the only position where a wife will find real fulfillment as a woman. [...] God commanded us wives to submit to, obey and even reverence our husbands. He also tells us why we are assigned the role of helper."

This kind of thinking traps women in abusive marriages and even in the absence of abuse, causes them to sacrifice their dreams, talents, health, and well-being.

Love this book.....if you know a single lady/girl I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book.

I love that this book does not just tell girls to wait, instead it encourages them to be content with this season of their lives and gives them ways to prepare for their future; and she approaches everything from a Biblical standpoint. We have way to many girls out there who are chasing after guys instead of chasing after God. This book is a good wake up call!!!

I have shared this book with a couple of young ladies that I am mentoring and my favorite wedding gift is their "Created To Be a Help Meet' and "Created To Need a Help Meet".

Debi Pearl likes to hide little shreds of good advice in this book... Like panning for gold at a tourist spot. She's unchristian in her advice and teaches women to humble themselves to their husband, instead of His divine will. "Unworldly" folk are certainly her target, for what man or woman with an ounce of sense would prescribe to her brand of spirit reducing garbage?

Find other wonderful Christian texts online that don't stray from Gods intention for wives. There are plenty of alternatives that respect women and our proper place - beside our husbands, not being ground to fine dust under their bootheel. Oh and, Debi? It's "helpmeet". Foolish woman.

I like the book... It is encouraging, inspirational and very insightful. My only complaint is Mrs. Pearl's "advice" to get out there and find your ministry or you will end up an old maid. So it needs to be read with a grain of salt. It was shipped quickly and was in the condition as described.

I really enjoyed reading Preparing to be a Help Meet, even though I have been married to my husband for 33 years. I loved hearing about how Michael and Debi's relationship started and grew, and was greatly encouraged by her admonition to pray for our men. And I also loved reading about the 3 types of women, after learning about the 3 different types of men in her book for married women, Created to be His Help Meet. My only complaint is I wish I would have had this book, and the godly advice of this amazing woman of God, years ago. I will definitely be giving it to my daughters!

Reckless advice. I'm glad it works for Mrs. Pearl, but one size does not fit all. There is no such word as "help meet." Eve was created to be a fitting ("meet") helper ("help") for Adam. People who don't read any 17th century works besides the 1611 KJV Bible make this mistake all the time, which makes me wonder what else they might be mistaken about as they read their Bible.

Despite all the other ridiculous reviews on this book, I will have to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading this lovely book. I enjoyed reading the stories of the different girls and how they met their husbands, and I think Debi Pearl is a very wise woman. It is too bad that women these days are so quick to deem the godly relationship between a husband and a wife as "abusive" or "sexist." I recommend this book to all my girl friends, and think it is definitely something to read in your later teens.

This book is incredibly practical for young women. If you want to be married one day, if you think you will be married someday, if you live around men, read this!
Preparing to Be a Helpmeet encourages ladies to be in the here and now. Don't wait until you are walking down the aisle to start getting ready for a good marriage. The time is now! I have recommended this book to so many friends and own multiple copies because they are constantly being borrowed. Thank you, Debi, for helping women build an excellent foundation for marriage BEFORE the wedding.

The Pearls are amazing awesome people. I know them personally and have had the privilege of working for their daughters. My sister works with the herb company their daughter owns. You can check it out at [...] This book especially along with all their other books such as " To Train Up a Child" has been a huge help and encouragement to me and my family. I absolutely love this book! I highly recommend it. I hope this has been helpful. God bless!

Please do research about this author, and then decide if you want to support them financially via the purchase of their products. Search "Larry and Carri Williams" who were sentenced to life in prison this year for the torture and murder of their adopted daughter. They reportedly used a book written by this author to learn about the torture techniques that led to this child's unspeakable death. The name of the book is called To Train Up a Child, which is also for sale on the store. Please please please think twice before supporting them through the purchase of their products here on the store or anywhere. You can go to change.org to sign petitions to remove their material from the store (just put the name of the book in the search bar at that site). Let's send a loud message to these authors that consumers do not, and will not, support child abuse/torture.

Leading a girls Bible study and we are all learning a lot-even the married ladies!
Defenitely, need to add a little to the part about sexual sin. Just add the fact that no matter what has happened in the past, Jesus wants you back to forgive you and help you live in purity from then on. The book does an excellent job, of sharing the high cost of sexual sin.
Has an AMAZING section on the internet, facebook and texting. How people can portray themselves ANYWAY they want, even if its not true. It says somethings like-You think you are safe because your body is not present, but you are giving away your heart each text at a time. This is so true! The best part this is all illustrated with a heart wrenching story that is a powerful warning.

The whole book is filled with stories and therefore not preachy or theoretical.

Never seen better!

Remember the caution to "chew the meat and spit out the bones"? Well this book has a LOT of SCARY BONES to sort through. This book seems like it comes from maybe the 1800s. It is extremely unbalanced as far as the role of woman being presented as virtually existing entirely to please your husband. Unmarried women (especially older ones) are portrayed in a terrible light--called "EMPTY," "old maids" etc. This is unbiblical according to 1 Corinthians 7, which holds a high view of God-focused singles. I think the stories of courtship presented would only work for the 5 or so people out there with perfect Christian families, uniquely wise fathers, and perfect moral records. Most stories don't involve a morally flawless, extremely legalistic/judgemental man observing you dispassionately from a distance and then asking your father "for your hand" out of the blue. There are some clearly unbiblical falsehoods and misrepresentations of Scripture: things like women being made only in the image of man, and not of God! THe idea that God only works when we ask and can't work without our prayers--this falsehood is also presented. NOt a book I would want young girls or anyone who wasn't very biblically astute reading. The content could make a naive woman very open to an unhealthy level of subjugation and even abuse from her husband.

Help-Meet encourages women to be "whores" for the sake of their husbands. Mrs. Pearl's philosophies and twisted logic rob women of their God-given dignity and self-worth by ignoring the man's role first and foremost as leader and head of the home. She substitutes humanistic philosophies and poor logic to account for her reasoning and then attaches Biblical Scripture to try to back it up. Fear and shame tactics frequently abound in this book including various inferences that women who do not see her point of view are bitter, unforgiving, and (in her words) will end up as crazy lunatics, old and alone later in their lives (no joke!). Her book is poorly written and clearly misrepresents the understanding of Biblical submission to men as our husbands. She also overlooks the role and responsibility of the man as head of the home and family, and denies the true meaning and understanding of Biblical love- to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves (including our wives). Marriage is a two-way street. Both parties MUST be committed and willing for a marriage to work. The premise of this book argues that regardless of how a husband lives it is up to the woman to make the marriage work, at any cost. Her misunderstanding and misrepresentation of God's true intention indentures wives as "whore-mates" instead of "help-mates". Wishful thinking for men but completely unbiblical- pure and simple.

Preparing to be a Helpmeet is an entertaining, instructive, and thought-provoking book. It is an excellent resource for a girl who wants to start now to make her future marriage the best it could be. I found encouragement to start preparing in valuable ways instead of sitting around getting impatient waiting. It helps a girl learn what a Godly guy is looking for, and grow to be that princess.

There are so many young women that have never had an opportunity to see a healthy marital relationship. With all of the clamoring voices seeking to dictate her choices, it is refreshing to see a book in print that helps girls determine for themselves how to go about having the kind of relationship that brings fullness and joy. I really appreciated how the author went about reminding ladies that there are different kinds of men and that just because a man is not like her father, doesn't mean he isn't a good man. There are also sections that discuss how to gracefully and honorably deal with a mother that is alarmed by how different her daughter's taste in men is from her own.

Like, CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET, this book reviews general personality/characteristics of men and the counterpart of these displayed in women. While these traits and personality types are discussed, the lines aren't hard and fast categories into which a person is shoved. Some individuals seem to have more than one type of traits. Rather, just as with CREATED, PREPARING gives you tools to use in the journey so that you might better understand yourself and anticipate how your strengths will play out when joined with the things a man brings to the relationship.

For moms, I think this book will be a wonderful way to invest in your daughter's future. It is an opportunity to say, "I didn't always get it right, but I want you to have the BEST God has to offer. Here. Read this and make a plan. Learn from my mistakes and build something beautiful!"

Remember the caution to "chew the meat and spit out the bones"? Well this book has a LOT of SCARY BONES to sort through. This book seems like it comes from maybe the 1800s. It is extremely unbalanced as far as the role of woman being presented as virtually existing entirely to please your husband. Unmarried women (especially older ones) are portrayed in a terrible light--called "EMPTY," "old maids" etc. This is unbiblical according to 1 Corinthians 7, which holds a high view of God-focused singles. I think the stories of courtship presented would only work for the 5 or so people out there with perfect Christian families, uniquely wise fathers, and perfect moral records. Most stories don't involve a morally flawless, extremely legalistic/judgemental man observing you dispassionately from a distance and then asking your father "for your hand" out of the blue. There are some clearly unbiblical falsehoods and misrepresentations of Scripture: things like women being made only in the image of man, and not of God! THe idea that God only works when we ask and can't work without our prayers--this falsehood is also presented. NOt a book I would want young girls or anyone who wasn't very biblically astute reading. The content could make a naive woman very open to an unhealthy level of subjugation and even abuse from her husband.

Help-Meet encourages women to be "whores" for the sake of their husbands. Mrs. Pearl's philosophies and twisted logic rob women of their God-given dignity and self-worth by ignoring the man's role first and foremost as leader and head of the home. She substitutes humanistic philosophies and poor logic to account for her reasoning and then attaches Biblical Scripture to try to back it up. Fear and shame tactics frequently abound in this book including various inferences that women who do not see her point of view are bitter, unforgiving, and (in her words) will end up as crazy lunatics, old and alone later in their lives (no joke!). Her book is poorly written and clearly misrepresents the understanding of Biblical submission to men as our husbands. She also overlooks the role and responsibility of the man as head of the home and family, and denies the true meaning and understanding of Biblical love- to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves (including our wives). Marriage is a two-way street. Both parties MUST be committed and willing for a marriage to work. The premise of this book argues that regardless of how a husband lives it is up to the woman to make the marriage work, at any cost. Her misunderstanding and misrepresentation of God's true intention indentures wives as "whore-mates" instead of "help-mates". Wishful thinking for men but completely unbiblical- pure and simple.

Preparing to be a Helpmeet is an entertaining, instructive, and thought-provoking book. It is an excellent resource for a girl who wants to start now to make her future marriage the best it could be. I found encouragement to start preparing in valuable ways instead of sitting around getting impatient waiting. It helps a girl learn what a Godly guy is looking for, and grow to be that princess.

There are so many young women that have never had an opportunity to see a healthy marital relationship. With all of the clamoring voices seeking to dictate her choices, it is refreshing to see a book in print that helps girls determine for themselves how to go about having the kind of relationship that brings fullness and joy. I really appreciated how the author went about reminding ladies that there are different kinds of men and that just because a man is not like her father, doesn't mean he isn't a good man. There are also sections that discuss how to gracefully and honorably deal with a mother that is alarmed by how different her daughter's taste in men is from her own.

Like, CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET, this book reviews general personality/characteristics of men and the counterpart of these displayed in women. While these traits and personality types are discussed, the lines aren't hard and fast categories into which a person is shoved. Some individuals seem to have more than one type of traits. Rather, just as with CREATED, PREPARING gives you tools to use in the journey so that you might better understand yourself and anticipate how your strengths will play out when joined with the things a man brings to the relationship.

For moms, I think this book will be a wonderful way to invest in your daughter's future. It is an opportunity to say, "I didn't always get it right, but I want you to have the BEST God has to offer. Here. Read this and make a plan. Learn from my mistakes and build something beautiful!"

This book has several MAJOR biblical errors. The first and most egregious is Mrs. Pearl's belief that a woman's primary duty in life is to honor and serve her husband. Can we all agree that a believer's primary duty is to honor and glorify God?
(I don't have room for the others, but they will be obvious to you if you do pick up the book.)

Other dangerous things:
1. Mrs. Pearl's testimony of marrying a much older man at a very young age after only a week of courtship. This is a dangerous testimony for tweens. You don't really get to know someone until you start the courtship process.
2. Throughout the book, the author questions why couples take so long (4 months from the beginning of their relationship! ) to get married.
3. She recommends having a simple wedding so that the bride isn't too exhausted to give the groom "marital duties" in the manner in which he wants.
4. The author repeatedly suggests that women be a doormat for their husbands. Submission is biblical, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting a husband know your needs (especially the emotional). Some women leave husbands who emotionally abandon them. Often the man is clueless. Communication is absolutely vital, and should be done in a christlike, biblical manner.
5. This book assumes that you have good parents & family which can help you pick out a husband. So much could've been added.

I would NOT recommend this book under any circumstances, especially to young girls. (Older single women wouldn't be helped, since the suggestions in this book are irrelevant to them.) Several other very sound conservative christian authors have handled the subject matter better.