A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger - The Cow in the Parking Lot

First never admitted how angry I am and have been ever since can remember. This book helped me understand not only that but also why, which in turn internally convinced me of my lack of righteousness in remaining so. Nevertheless lol I am sure will be reading it again for reinforcement.

Others have gone into more depth about this book, so I don't feel the need to do that.

What I will say is that rarely has a book had such an impact on me as this one. I have struggled with anger for years, and it has gotten in the way of my life many times. I have read a few other books on anger that I felt were only partially speaking to me, speaking to problems that didn't really line up with my experience with anger.

Not so this book - instead it encourages you to follow a Buddhist path to awareness, encouraging you to see the world and yourself with clarity, then leads you to address the world around you with compassion.

I have been a Christian for many, many years, and while I'd approached this book with a little bit of skepticism, I found that it actually led me to a better understanding of myself and my religion. This was my first exposure to Buddhism, and I'm exploring it further, as well as the writings of Thomas Merton and other mystics who found deep wisdom in the East.

If I had one complaint, it would be that the last 1/3 of the book seems to back off and slip into simple lecture, losing the frequent interactivity that helped me so much early in the book. I'd like to see that aspect further utilized in the later portions of the book in future editions.

Even with that shortcoming, though, I couldn't give it less than 5 stars, because of how it has changed my life and the path of my family.

I was delighted to scan this book, especially since many of the observations matched my own! The title says it all - how silly it is to be furious at the cow who has wandered into YOUR parking spot. Short sections allow short sessions.

This is a "must read". You will find yourself rethinking your perspective, the way you respond to those around you, and in the process you will notice that you have become calmer, more objective, better balanced, and as a result, happier. A big Thank You to the author!

I have read this book twice and I like everything it had to say. This is a small, easy read, book on controlling and understranding your anger and the anger of others. I wish I had read it long ago. EXCELLENT!!!!! Kathryn Stocking-Koza , Windsor ,Massachusetts

Bought it for my boyfriend. It didn't work. Dropped his sorry ass. Hope it helps someone but most folks with significant anger issues need a lot of, a LOT of professional help for a long time. Don't be naive, like me.

I am a practitioner of mindful sitting, breathing and walking - I also have some experience with Soto Zen Buddhism.

Lately, while under stress and anger I stopped practising mindfulness and lost the thread of happiness - I turned to some books for help - this was the 2nd one I read. It was not as helpful as I had hoped.

I started reading it and it seemed something was a little off. One thing I really like about a lot of Buddhist writers is how crisp or exact their writing is. You get the feeling the writer conveyed exactly what they intended. This book at times feels a bit muddled, with sections overlapping and ideas expressed and then simply dropped.

One of the problems I had with the book is that the book doesn't seem to be Buddhistic enough for me. Maybe this is it's strength. (I really enjoy reading a Buddhist passage and experiencing the mental state/experience described. Buddhists can walk you through non-self by asking you to by following your own thoughts (for instance).)

I'm glad people seem to have been helped by this book - but my experience wasn't impressive. I liked it, but not enough to read it again: I far prefer: Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames

Not being much for writing book reviews, here is something I felt the need to say, something more than just a short, "the book is good". You will read many others that describe the book better than I can, I only felt I needed to place something here in hopes someone would see it and take a chance on this book. I checked this out as an ebook from a local library, always looking for better ways to manage the anger, stress and unsaid thoughts, this book is a gem. You may not have outward anger towards others, or maybe you do and just do not realize it, here in very plain to understand language the authors break down the subject.
The first chapter was very a hard for me to read, it hit home... I had to put the Kindle reader down often, while i am several years into the journey of transforming myself; meditation, mindfulness, reading many spirtual texts and authors, many are just not able to get to the nuts and bolts of the matter, and the techniques that they offer are good, there is just so much not described and the ways needed to see what is going on and how to correct it is really left to student to work thru. Only 1/2 way thru the reading I feel better prepared to face difficult situations and not over reach than regret.
it's worth the time invested, it is not just for anger management, but for everyone, well worth your time.

I literally just finished reading this book and its message is still ricocheting around in my brain. I keep thinking... "should I just read this book over-and-over all year long?" I know that even though I've already come away with a shift in perspective and plenty of new lessons to apply, there are dozens of others that I really need to go back and explore between the pages of this book. There is just the right mix of modern and ancient examples of how to overcome your anger and conquer the stress that it brings. I'm torn between lending it to a friend who I know could benefit from its message or simply diving back in and reading it again for myself. Perhaps I'll buy them their own copy and do both...

A great book - Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston easygoing writing style brings 2 millenia of ancient wisdom and experience within reach of many readers. It is a book easy to relate to because it is simple, unladen with scientific, medical jargon and speaks to the heart with many situations we can easily see ourselves in. One of the best books on anger management I read.

Scheff and Edmiston conduct a probing, gently humorous investigation of ordinary anger. They invite us to ask what demand is behind our fury, what we expected, what our reaction looks like in the light of day, and what our anger costs. It's well done, and it's perspective altering.

The Cow in the Parking Lot offers a balanced approach to the overcoming of anger using Buddhist precepts and koan. For the non-Buddhist the ideas are well presented and the well explained. The text is neither preachy or pretentious and makes for excellent reading.

The real challenge of course is in following the approach laid out in the book and that of course is a life long challenge. Highly recommended for an excellent read.

If you experience stress that sometimes results in anger or feelings of ill will, read this book now. It really hits the heart of the problem. The book is very well written with fantastic anecdotes and examples. I will keep it available to re-read. Great job. Please produce more of this type of work.

Excellent, practical, enjoyable. I got this on Kindle Unlimited -- which means I need to return it at some point -- but I plan to read it two or three more times before letting it go. And if you read the book, you will get the irony on my second sentence.

You don't have to know anything about Buddhism to learn very specific and practical skills to help you defuse your anger. This gem of a book can show you how to change your life, if you really want to. It will lead you away from anger and toward joy. And, if you are already practicing the Buddhist way, it's a terrific treatise on some of the major themes--practicing empathy, loving kindness, compassion, and that we create our own world and have the power to change it. I will keep it in my library and expect to re-read it often.

A very close friend of mine recommended this book to me. I personally don't have problems with anger but this book showed me that the minor every day annoyances that I used to experience really were having a negative affect on my quality of life. This book changed my views and I could actually tell that I was becoming a more open minded and loving person. I've recommended this book to a few of my friends and they too have loved it. This is a must read for anyone, not just those seeking techniques in anger management.

At a time when anger has become epidemic, this is a much needed book. Most intrapersonal change begins with awareness. The authors suggest we begin by observing when we are angry and then start looking at what unfulfilled needs might be triggering the anger. Drawing from the wisdom of Zen Buddhism, they describe anger as an addiction and as a habitual way of dealing with life. They suggest more effective ways of interpreting the events that push our buttons. This little book is packed with good, practical advice that I have already started to use in my own life.

I recommend this book to any and everyone who accepts the fact that they have a problem with anger. It has made my view in life much better and reconnect me with my family. Thank you for such a wonderful book Susan.

I have read a translation, not the English version. It had the same cover and I'm sure it was a valid licensed translation, as it is by a respectable publisher. But you may want to wonder how much would this review apply to the English original version, which I haven't read, and thus stop reading this review now.

Although the topic is great, and the ideas presented are cool and the world would be better if most people lived by some of them, the book is just what it's title claims it to be: a description of the Zen APPROACH to anger. It would be helpful for a person if the exact flow of the book would resonate with them. Or if they would bump into one example that happens to make a difference for them.

This book does not seem to go into great length in delineating practices for a person to embrace. Where practices are suggested, they are too briefly presented and discussed, usually after a long story preceding them.

It does not seem to handle or discuss likely consequences of hazard in the cases of being a target of anger accompanied by aggression, and suffices for that case in romantic stories where aggression melts away spontaneously, without any serious discussion into that interesting suggestion, nor a methodical explanation. Perhaps some real-life convincing examples could have addressed the same aspect, but examples that seem to be real-life oriented were short, and lacking any serious discussion.

Overall I'd say, that if you're a Buddhist, this book would just resonate well with what you already know or beleive, but if you are not entirely there, it will not add insight to your life other than something very basic. The book can be roughly summarized as follows:

1) Anger is bad for the angry person (mentally, spiritually, physically (which is all the same)).
2) Expressed anger propagates and creates more anger or problems
3) It best not to have it created within the individual in the first place.
4) This last point can be accomplished by a refined understanding that being angry is drawing
from your darker side, and is a way of letting the environment control your inner energy.
And also through appreciating that usually, the source of anger could be empathized with,
even if to a small extent.
5) You'd rather be efficient, than angry.
6) If you look inside when anger first arises, understand what makes that feeling arise, you may
notice weaknesses in your outlook on life that cause this state of anger, which are internal
to you, your past, your beliefs, your hubris, etc. This awareness by itself may subdue the
feeling. (That was actually the only practical tip in the book).
7) The book suggests meditation... but doesn't go into length outlining the relation to anger
avoidance or management, which one can find almost unfair.

Overall, disappointing in my view, although a nice repetitive suggestion of an idea.
Maybe just because I already interpret anger and disappointment in accordance with some of the basic premises discussed in the book.

I still highly appreciate the people having invested their time and energy into writing a book on this important topic, and the above is just my opinion after reading it just once!