A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women

This book came recommended to me by a friend. I bought it, began reading it and with in a few days it ended up in my recycling bin. I have no need to control my wife and thus our relationship sails quit well. Of course our view points differ from time to time but we always talk and work together for the greater good. As we are all individuals with our own way of thinking I can imaging that the Authors research and opinions work for many men out there. So I give him credit to helping men find there spiritual path to a woman that needs someone to steer her life in the direction that he chooses. Perhaps I totally missed the point of this book....... you be the judge.

Disjointed nonsense!!! This is just pure fabricated crap stacked on more crap adding up to one big pile of ****! Each paragraph is one big jumbled up mess, full of contradictions and incomplete thoughts and undeveloped ideas. The author, however, attempts to hide his half-developed thoughts from the reader in vague analogies that mean absolutely nothing. Not a single idea/point is actually supported with any evidence or even a single relevant general 'rule-of-thumb.' He's trying to sound smart, that's obvious, but the issue here is that the author is NOT smart! You quickly learn that you don't know what the author is talking about because the author doesn't know what he's trying to impart to the reader. This guy is making it up on the fly. He needs an editor who will tell him the truth about his work...It's just bad. It's a boring read, immature, weak and nonsensical. If this guy is a spiritual master, or guru, I'm Walt Disney! The really irritating thing about this read, and why I started 'hate reading,' is the fact that it's obvious this author believes he's really smart! LOL Don't buy unless you have a low IQ.

I am a committed Christian and I have read all the Christian "How to be a Man" books. They are generally the old New Age advice of the sensitive man and the masculine woman. The "kicker" for me was a Christmas Video from my Christian man teacher/hero and his wife. She was in total control of him and the situation. He acted like an eight year old man with his momma. Maybe if he was a good boy, he may get "lucky". My marriage was coming apart, I was feeling like a twelve year old boy. I have a lot of anger and hatred and did not understand women in the slightest. I was ready for a divorce.

This book changed my life and marriage. I feel strong AND able to love both at the same time. I am still a committed Christian and I think that this book helps me to be a better Christian. No more "New Age" Christian Man's books for me.

I didn't really care for this book. Its advice can be summed up as: be a real man, get yourself a woman who is all emotion and no intelligence, who will never be able to explain anything she does and who will fall into your arms every time you kill something and sigh "MY HERO." Never relate to her on any level more complicated than that, ravish her mercilessly and she will be yours forever.

This book was highly recommended to me so I went and read it. He has some insight in to women like how men think analytically and women emotionally. he uses a lot of poetry and verbose quite a lot but the basis of the book is just that. If you enjoy poetry and want to try some of the authors meditations practices then you might enjoy this more than I.

A bit dramatic and over the top, but some interesting ideas about what to do with your impending orgasm. Is this Tantra? is happiness a result of secret initiations and achieving superiority or of opening up to your ordinariness and allowing the miracle of the everyday to manifest itself. Why polish the nonexistent mirror?

This book covers man-woman relationships with a "no nonsense", non academic angle. It is not grounded in "scientific" research or statistics. And this is precisely its core strength. Male-female dynamics simply can't be "explained" by stats and science. You need wise insights grounded in a deep ability for observation. The author simply has the ability to observe and "put in words" what many, probably most, couples actually go through. I am a 39 year old "masculine man". I had 4 "serious" relationships in my life: 2, 4, 5, and 7 years. ALL of my relationship experiences prove without an ounce of doubt that the content of this book truly represents the core dynamics going on between men and women in relationships. My casual observation of my friends' relationships ALSO confirms this. This book has brought more to me than all others combined on the subject of man-woman relationships, and that includes all the "classics". It has literally changed my life... and I am not the "groupy" type! Thank you!

This book couldn't teach me anything. The only thing original about it was that it had nothing to teach. I dislike giving bad reviews, but I also dislike dishonesty... Avoid this book if you're looking for a book to propel you sky-high. This book will hardly get you off the ground.

Now I know in part at least why one marriage failed and why women have always been an enigma to me - Mars and Venus personified. I have only read Mr. Deida's 'The Way of the Superior Man' once but I wilThe Way of the Superior Manl be reading it many more times along with my significant other.

I got this for my fella. We've both heard so many good things about it, I can't wait 'til he's done reading it so I can get my hands on it!

The book arrived in good time and expected condition. I would buy from this seller again.

Should be titled ,The way of the chauvinistic man. A friend suggested it, after I showed some of the excerpts to my wife she was really pissed, but after while it became kind of a joke between us as this guy is so over the top.

I gave this to book to my best friend, it has had a profound impact on his life...he's been in a comfort zone for so long and was ready to have someone give him permission to take on his life again. I would recommend it to anyone who needs a tool for evolution.

Ridiculous hogwash.

I made it through several chapters before having to stop.

It is a bad sign when the author of self-help books
ventures into science with statements such as
the Earth has north and south poles based on gravity
(I assume he meant magnetism).

Nothing concrete.

Avoid.

I found this to be perhaps the most important book I've ever read in understanding My woman !

Further - it has provided amazing context for me to improve my relationship & take many aspects to a new level including our sexual intimacy.

I dont want to go in lenghts but this book is written about sex addicts and people who value phisical contact a lot.

In parts of the book i also noticed that the author actually teaches you to become fake and to ignore anything just to get laid

Another point is that you cant actually teach anyone to be musculine,if they are not.

The key thing in this book is that it teaches you to become self confidant and to realize your life(the alchemist teaches u the same hehe) purpose.this is not a rocket science.realizing your purpuse actually enlightens you with self confidance and women would love that of course.but also hidden behind that is the fact that by the time you discover or if you dont discover it you are basically a simple dude.

Funny how he often references to Hindu gods but Buddha is not anywhere in there.you know why? Cos buddha did not see sexual intecourse as something of highest neccesity

I also would point out thay the book extended my understandig of feminem,and for that alone it deserves 2 stars,but when it comes to practical techings one must be aware not to get into dogmas

This book if you follow it thru will improve your sex life but it can also creat a mazoshist if you dont know how to keep your self out of the dogma that the teaching is.

It is a really sensitive subject and it can be analized from many angles.the book is pretty much all about the sense perception satiafaction.something that not a lot of people rate high enough to go thru this book

The potential is huge in this book but its somehow ruined by its dogmatic approach.

Very odd outlandish spirtual, cultish thought process and teaching. The only thing I liked about the book is it says man should focus on his meaning and not get sidetracked and women nag and whatever to test him (only thing that makes any hint of real world sense) the rest is honestly weird, creepy garbage. Get Models by Mark Manson, he doesn't have his head in the clouds and explains EVERYTHING in real world te, unlike this extremely uncomfortable book. Watch David Deida on youtube, he obviously has something wrong going on in his head.

well, if you have too much free time give this a shot but it's all that you probably already know what he talks about. I really liked the book no more mr nice guy as it is helpful for life in general, not only for dating. this one is meh.

The title is deceptive. This is religious new age hipster preaching. Trying to turn the listener into a bleeding heart, "sensitive" man who gets in touch with his "feelings" and use magical rituals to connect with a woman.

Terrible.

I have read most of this authors books and have found them all to be delusional, self obsessed, narcissistic concepts that are being sold under the disguise of being deep and profound spiritual wisdom. What he pro-ports to be deep and profound truth is in actually not translatable and not healthy. He is normalizing male or self obsessed narcissistic-ally driven arrogance that is not "superior" anything. Push your boundaries to have every self obsessed indulgent sexual impulse you could ever have realized fully. Using the idea of spiritual sexuality in a unbalanced manner that has potential to cause harm and confusion.

Just read through most of the other 1-star reviews. They are spot on. This book is theoretical new age nonsense dressed up in fancy words that sounds as if it's written by some egotistical "know-it-all" type alpha male. The kind you want to punch in the face within 5 minutes of meeting and hearing talk. This book is garbage and will do absolutely nothing to better your life or make you become a "superior man".

Got recommended to read this book by a friend. I will never look at him the same way again. At times, i thought this book might have been written by a woman. The views expressed within are by a man who is looking for a way to cope with the fact that he is a slave to women rather than fighting back and becoming a real man. I wouldn't even give this book to good will for fear that these ideals effect some unsuspecting man. Thus, it will be shred.

It might just be me, but I found that Freud would have a field day with this bozo.
Initially I thought that the 2 page chapters would be a nice easy read, they sucked.
Very penile in the references to thrusting your love upon your partner, I really could not get into it, I tried, I read the whole book cover to cover, just to really do it justice & the content it is supposed to try to convey.
I lot all respect at the end when it suggested going into the woods & spending time trying to find yourself like a spiritual hippy or something.
Sorry, but this just was the final penile straw on the camels back. Way to thrusty for me.

I have never been given anything for free from the store as apparently I am neither a prodigious enough reviewer, purchaser or just not funny enough to be worth anyone wanting to give me anything, so my reviews are as honest as you get....

Well written silliness. It's obvious this guy is a terrific writer. He'd make a great English professor. And just an English Professor he's a natural born Beta-Male who's hiding behind literature instead of living his advice. This advice is pure silliness. How do I know? "A fisherman always recognizes another fisherman from a far". In other words, I'm a guy who always crushed it in the area of women. I'm now in my mid 40's and have banged well over a thousand women and I can recognize when another guy hasn't. This guy is the classic guy who can "teach but no do". I'm guessing all his raving reviews are other over-analytical Beta-Males attracted to this new school men's movement? What weak people. Two stars because he can really write well. But come on guys--get a clue. Don't read books on what men do. Do what men do. Put down the X-box, get off You Tube and get out there and live life. Have a beer, chat up a girl and live mate!

Who wrote this, some girly wimp, SJW? Give me a break dude! I see why he updated it, to cater to the PC crowd! This is a perfect example of what's wrong with men today, this book is social engineering at it's finest, this book should be burned and buried!

This book is garbage and the ideas posited therein are pretty outdated, outmoded, and completely unactionable. Not worth anyone's time, IMO. I bought on a recommendation from a friend and it was pretty much the worst crap ever.

"I want you my bitch". I kid you not. This is the kind of "illuminated" advice this self-appointed
voice of the male New Age puts out there.

If your relationship needs a little help, this advice (and more) will completely kill it off. If you're looking to improve yourself as a man, this is the wrong road or certainly a road that "won't" lead you on a loving path to a lasting relationship, let alone happiness.

Wish I hadn't lost the time listening to this and went to a snake-handling church instead.
At least the snakes are in plain view there!

"Way of the Superior Man" is my first recommendation to every male student who comes to me for guidance in spiritual relationships. Men are relieved to find that their feelings are normal and natural. The book helps men to find and reclaim their power in relationships in a compassionate and honoring way. My students come back telling me that this is the best book they've read in a long time.

The chapters are short enough to read in the bathroom if you aren't inclined to read very much. Deida doesn't pull any punches. He is direct, masculine and to-the-point in his caring presentation of his material.

Chapters on "Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier" and "Her Complaint Is Content-Free" certainly give information that I find brilliant and true as a woman. Men tell me that they have solved a large percentage of their relationship problems by following Deida's ideas and guidelines.

See the hardback edition for the "Look Inside This Book" The Table of Contents is fabulous.

Stacy Clark, MA

Boulder, Colorado

I can't say enough about this book. I'm 52 and I am an avid reader in general and I can say it's my favorite book, hands down. I do have trouble with Deida's vocabulary and you might too. It might help to have others to talk to or listen to some of his tapes for context. For example he might say "disolve through your woman and into the world" or "give her your masculine gift" or "penetrate the world and your woman" and things like that, and you might say, "well what the heck does that MEAN exactly...what does that LOOK LIKE" ... but keep reading. Let it sink in. I try to read it every couple of years.

The focus of the book in my opinion is to describe masculine and feminine "energies" and what they look, smell, feel and taste like. In doing so, he really nails what many masculine vs. feminine strenghts are which is very eye opening stuff. For example, simply "making a decision" comes from "masculine energy" (yeah, try to say that in public, you'll be called sexist and exiled to the moon!) but it's not say "men should be the decision makers" it's simply that the "energy" that goes into decision making is more "masculine" in nature, and women instinctively know this. So when she asks "which shoes look better", tell her. Even if you aren't 100% sure, give an opinion and tell her why. This takes the slight de-feminizing stress of making a decision away from her and is a small way of "giving your masculine gift".

This book has lead to the demise of my marriage. I was recommended to give this book to my husband by a Natural Path Dr., I should habe NEVER gone to her. And it encouraged my husband to further continue in selfish behavior and justify his cheating. It became his new bible and when ALL other sound reasoning was presented some how he wanted to hold tight to these demonic influences. I let the devil in my house and now so many people are suffering. I would give this book a negative 5 stars if I could. Screw you Deida!

This is a fascinating read combining the spiritual and the sensual in helping provide wisdom for men to live a life of purpose. Deida is obviously a spiritual man but I don't believe he has a traditional Christian set of beliefs. He does a great job pulling together the key aspects of a man's life: career, love, family, purpose, relationships and play in providing counsel on how men can live authentically and with integrity.

Many men struggle with purpose and too often we link it tightly with our jobs ... however, as Deida points out our job isn't our purpose. In order to live a fulfilling life we must determine what that purpose is.

Deida talks a lot about masculine and feminine energy essence which distracted me a little but that's mostly due to the fact this is a new style of book for me. I don't necessarily agree with everything he says but found it intriguing and made me reflect a lot on who I am, my relationship with my wife and children and my purpose. Accordingly, I'm really pleased I read it and I expect to refer back to it often.

This book seems simply to be a free-ranging rant and reflection by Mr. Deida as he coins new catchphrases and "techniques" for developing intimacy and sexual mastery. While not offensive, the work is intellectually vacant and smacks of unsubstantiated pop psychology wrapped in short, superficial chapters. The single and valuable message within the book can be summarized here: True intimacy requires a strong sense of self combined with the ability to open oneself to the risks and passions of another human. If you can believe that, save yourself the cost of this book and research elsewhere!

Buyer beware.
If you're looking for a book on transcendental meditation, or instructions on how to reach altered states of consciousness, this is the book for you!

If you're interested in breathing techniques that produce self-hypnosis, and visualization techniques which bring about hallucinations of your *SO CALLED* cosmic god consciousness, you'll like this book.

There is no intellectual content here!
There is no "Great Wisdom".
Behind the mask of "the superior man" is simply cloaked religious evangelism.

The author is simply using the title "the way of the superior man" as a front.
The false title is used as bate to lure men and women who are seeking to enhance their relationships.
The author is simply deploying a subtle bating process to lure the seeker with *SUPPOSED* information that will benefit the male-female relationship.

What you're going to get is something you're completely unprepared for....... **HINDUISM**
(i.e. worship of Brahma, Shaivism, Vaishnavism, Śrauta....etc....).

Don't waste your money!!!!

"The Way of the Superior Man" is a weird little book. If you are comfortable with the idea of "masculine energy" and "feminine energy" idea and developing these energies, then this book might be for you. The book is designed, as the author points out in several places in the book, for developing "masculine energy" and fostering a balanced relationship with "feminine energy". Deida argues this can be accomplishing when the male reader understands his purpose, lives life close to the edge of that purpose (lives life with passion and dedication), and understands feminine energy.

The book can go into some unexpected and/or weird places (depending on you) because Deida is upfront with his assertions on sexuality, identity, and spirituality. If you agree with him, you'll be fine.

If you don't agree with Deida's underlying philosophy, it might sound like a lot of mumbo-jumbo and dressed-up generalizations. It all depends on your perspective and openness to hear what Deida has to say.

At the very least, any reader (male or female) with the concept that life is not a straightforward path toward success, but one of flux.

Seldom a book can fully deliver what's printed on its cover. IMHO, the author did his job brilliantly. His help to me, a straight guy with "Nice Guy Syndrome", is beyond praise. In short, highly recommended!

p.s. Below please find some of my favorite passages for your reference.
Masculine and feminine poles between people create the flow of sexual feeling. This is sexual polarity. This force of attraction is the dynamism that often disappears in modern relationships. If you want real passion, you need a ravisher and a ravishee; otherwise, you just have two buddies who decide to rub genitals in bed……You don’t need this difference for love, but you do need it for ongoing sexual passion. Pg4-5
Only when the front of your body is relaxed and opened, your breath full and deep, and your gaze unguarded and directly connected with another person’s eyes, can your fullest intelligence manifest spontaneously in the situation. To act as a superior man, the samurai of relationship, you must feel the entire situation with your whole body. A closed body is unable to sense subtle cues and signals, and therefore unable to act with mastery in the situation. Pg18
You should always listen to your woman, and then make your own (if wiser) decision. Pg25
Your woman will be more fulfilled with 30 minutes a day of undivided attention and ravishing love than she will with a few hours of your weak and divided presence when your heart really isn’t into it. Pg28
Neither woman nor world are predictable. They will often seem to resist your gifts and test your capacity to persist. And, just as surely, they will tenderly respond to the authenticity of your relaxed ministrations, the freedom expressed in your humor, and the invasion of your adamant love. They will open in love and receive your fully – only to resist and test you again, moments or days later. Neither woman nor world can be second guessed, or fooled. They know when you are just dicking around. They want to receive you for real. Pg33
A man should never get lost in the details of his love and forget that, ultimately and in truth, life amounts to nothing other than what is the deepest truth of this present moment. Task don’t get a man anywhere more conscious or free than he is capable of being in this present moment. Pg48
For the feminine, truth is a thin concept compared to the thickness of her flow of feelings. The “truth” of the feminine is whatever she is really feeling, in this present moment. Pg59
The masculine grows by challenge, but the feminine grows by praise. A must be unabashed and expressed in his appreciation for his woman. Praise her freely. Pg61
Don’t analyze your woman. The feminine’s moods and opinions are like weather patterns. They are constantly changing, severe and gentle, and they have no single source. No analysis will work. Pg66
If you ever find yourself asking your woman questions about her mood while she is still in it, you are already on the wrong road. First, give her love through your eyes, touch, movement, and tone of voice. Then and only then, after the connection of love has been made, find out what remains to be talked about. Pg68
Sometimes a woman will make a request of her man in plain English, not to get him to do something, but to see if he is so weak that he will do it. In other words, she is testing his capacity to do what is right, not what she is asking for. Pg108
A man’s attraction to women must be converted to attraction through women. Pg155
The main way you generate bodily tension is by turning your attention back on yourself fin self-concern, curling into yourself so tightly you feel all knotted up. Therefore the main cure is to give yourself to others. Whenever you notice that you are mulling over your own problems, knotting energy into your body as tension, take that energy and create a gift for others. Pg168
A large part of avoiding premature ejaculation is to breathe fully, deeply, and with great force, throughout the day. Your inhales should feel like they are drawing energy down the front of your body , filling your belly and genital regions. Your exhales should feel like they are moving energy from your pelvic, floor, up your spine, into your head…..To practice this exercise, you must learn to consciously contract the muscles of the floor of your pelvis….it feels like you are trying to stop yourself from going to the bathroom. In addition, practice pulling it upward into your body and toward your spine. This will actually lift your scrotum slightly up toward your body….and practice the above occasionally during sex, especially as you begin to approach orgasm. Pg173-6

I had high hopes for this book as I'd read many of the reviews here & heard someone speak highly of it elsewhere. But holy Lord what were these people smoking. I've never seen a book that goes to such great lengths to say absolutely nothing, or an author so in love with the sound of his own empty voice. Chapter after chapter of completely meaningless pablum, but all disguised as super-deep, ultra-eloquent faux-new age psychobabble. I read the first 20-25 chapters and LITERALLY got one actinable takeaway -- and even it would only work if my male friends were all empty headed smug nitwits like the author of this tripe.
Honestly, I love the self-improvement genre and I'm a huge HUGE fan of embracing masculinity so I really thought this book would be a perfect fit. Instead, it's the most expensive campfire kindling I've ever bought. HARD PASS unless you're some kind of self-important dummy.

David Deida's latest book, The Way of the Superior Man, may bear an
unfortunately misleading and offputting title, but no prudent
reader will let that prevent him from harvesting the fruit of
Deida's inspiring work. Deida has produced a remarkable and unique
book on relationships between men and women. He travels straight
to the heart of the essential masculine and feminine, urging the
presumptively masculine readership to embrace the very different
feminine essence and savor it for all its value. It does not work,
he repeatedly reminds us, when we try to limit or change or
understand the feminine according to masculine terms. A woman
should not be analyzed, nor should a man suggest that she fix her
own emotional problems.

To some extent this book's relevance is limited by its topic. As
Deida himself repeatedly notes, his discussions are only applicable
regarding a relationship between a person of what he terms a
predominantly masculine essence and a person of predominantly
feminine essence. Usually, but not always, a man will have a
masculine essence and a woman will have a feminine essence. A
person of masculine essence will always be drawn to a person of
opposite polarity, and vice versa. This will be true regardless of
one's sexual orientation, Deida notes. For people balanced between
masculine and feminine, Deida's work is of less relevance.
However, within the book's sphere of validity, Deida's insights are
pure gold.

Deida reveals himself an enthusiastic cheerleader for all people of
masculine essence as we strive for excellence in our careers,
friendships, family, and love relationships. The headings of the
book's short chapters summarize his many koan-like messages for us.
Live as if your father were dead, he tells us. Know your real edge
and don't fake it. Be willing to change everything in your life.
And perhaps most importantly, stop hoping for your woman to get
easier.

He reminds us that if we have a masculine essence, our intimate
relationship will not be as important to us as our mission in life.
People with feminine essences on the other hand do put
relationships first. This may sound like old stereotyped ideas but
in the context of Deida's fresh thinking and feeling about the
wonderful polarity between masculine and feminine, it actually
reveals itself as a potential fountain of healing for all of us.

One reason I find this book remarkable is Deida packs in countless
fresh insights, speaking his truth and refusing to be cowed by fear
of being seen as politically incorrect. He risks pushing liberals'
buttons with his repeated references to "your woman," advising men
to listen carefully and with their hearts to their female partners,
but never to change their mind just to please a woman. Men's
authenticity must take precedence over their yearning for female
approval. A man must discover his deepest purpose and align his
entire life with it. Then, he explains, "[t]hough she may not
always like your choices, she will love them."

Later Deida treads on even riskier ground, analyzing reasons for
the unique irresistibility to men of younger women's energy and
discussing men's frequent desire to have more than one woman.
Deida sensibly advises, "Before you consider more than one,
however, it is best to prove your capacity with one." At the same
time, Deida also counsels men to appreciate the different but no
less valuable magic of older women. He advises men not to make the
mistake of getting too caught up in the literal content of a
woman's complaint. Instead, he suggests, "Hear her complaints as
the universe giving you signs about your life."

Deida has written an entire book on the subject of sacred
sexuality. Here he devotes only a few chapters to sketching the
outline of conscious lovemaking, providing specific advice
regarding breathing techniques and explaining muscle exercises
which can help to greatly expand the pleasure of orgasm. The
ultimate goal is to learn how to "ejaculate up the spine" rather
than out through the genitals.

I had the great fortune recently to participate in a workshop on
masculine/feminine polarities and sacred sexuality led by Deida,
who proved himself an affable, skilled, and compassionate workshop
leader. Plexus, a small publisher whose only current author is
Deida, has done a beautiful job with every physical aspect of this
book, rendering it almost as much a delight to look at and feel as
it is to read. Any man interested in the other gender and in
better understanding masculine soul work and the wonderful polarity
between the sexes could hardly do better than to buy this book.'

Decent read. I wouldn't call it earth-shattering. It reminded me of Models a solid bit. It's like Models meets The Alabaster girl. An analysis of masculine and feminine energies. An outline of the problems damaging the balance between the two. The desires of both and the way all of this meshes to form sexuality.
The writing is a bit flowery. Some may like expansive passages about emotions. Some might not. If you enjoy The Alabaster Girl then you'll definitely enjoy this one.
The information is good. The lessons and advice are good as well. It preaches of finding your purpose and centering your life around that. It shines light on the problems with having someone else be the center of your life. It also touches on the different places men go astray when it comes to sex.
I'd recommend people read it. You might enjoy it, you might not. If you're masculine then you'll either learn or reaffirm something. If you're feminine then you may grow to understand the men in your life better.

If you feel drawn to this book, read this book.
If you're curious about this book, read this book.
If you strongly dislike charismatic people and are slightly jealous that one man can summon so much energy through his research to write a book that doesn't degrade women, focuses on a man finding his passion, discusses the natural polarity of relationships and cuts to the core of one's self definition of manhood - then maybe this book would be more your style: The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
This is a book for a man (or a female, in my case, as I love men) to reflect on their purpose, point of presence and goals in life. The structure of the book is more of a meditative process than a linear textbook teaching. Within the pages, no annoying "case studies" of how Jenny and Jeff did what he suggested and became better people await you. This book invites you to be masculine, heart centered and awake in the world. I have a deeper understanding of the type of man I want in my life and how to respect them, and myself, more.
There are many authors out there that write on the message presented on the book.
Good for them.
Read this book.

This book would be a lot funnier without the possibility that people might take it seriously. Fortunately, it's big on sweeping pronouncements but short on specific instructions that might imperil real-life intimate relationships if actually put into practice.

Full disclosure: I am a woman. Or, as the author would have you believe, an irrational birdbrain helplessly buffetted about by the winds of emotion and an overwhelming need for love. Perhaps I'm not qualified to judge whether the author understands what makes men tick (God, I hope not), but I do know he doesn't have a clue about women.

Here's a typical knee-slapper: "One of the deepest feminine desires in intimacy is to be able to relax and surrender, knowing that her man is taking care of everything." Or how about: "What she wants is not what she says."

Another humdinger: "'Keeping your word' is a masculine trait . . . In the feminine reality, words and facts take second place to emotions . . . the masculine means what it says. A man's word is his honor. The feminine says what it feels."

Hmm, this feminine person is feeling pretty amused right now. This would be a great book for a couple to read out loud to each other. It's absolutely priceless, especially all the "ravishing" stuff. And humor is a much bigger turn-on than any of the caveman role-playing prescribed in this book.

No argument, men and women tend to be hardwired differently, a fact evident to anyone who's watched children at play. But to suggest that the only surefire path to true fulfillment is to revert to these chest-thumping stereotypes is hilarious. Wait, wait, just one more: "Love is the feminine priority; purpose and direction are the masculine priority." Now, THAT'S entertainment.

As they say, men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I have no idea what planet this author is from.

First of all, if I wasn't already familiar with the good ideas in this book, I would have summarily dismissed the whole thing as feel-good spiritual nonsense. Deida's writing looks like mine when I just start writing what I feel without really trying to make any logical sense. The effect on me while reading was that even though I knew in my head that the words were gibberish, I knew exactly what he was trying to say and which important concepts he was trying to impart. It was an odd experience.

The good:
- Not only does the book start from the premise that there IS a desirable middle ground between being a timid wuss of a man-boy and being a knuckle-dragging, chauvinistic thug; the whole book attempts to be a manual on how to become that middle ground. I would say it's even a good start at succeeding.
- Emphasis on living in pursuit of your own purpose. Not your dad's, not your girlfriend's, not that of disembodied pop culture. Yours.
- The fundamental principle of giving to the world instead of taking.
- The focus on rooting out insecurity.
- The discussions about fundamental differences between masculine and feminine. If you take away nothing other than the realization that there are in fact big differences, the book is worth the read.
- Discussions on things like ego death, living consciously, and the notion of "emptiness." These are basically repackaged Buddhist and samurai concepts. They aren't new, but they are important.

The bad:
- If I read the words "truth" or "love" one more time I thought I might try to reach through my Kindle and choke the author. I disagree with the top positive reviewer: the writing got repetitive VERY quickly.
- The spiritual slant of the writing probably alienates a lot of readers, including me. Luckily it didn't get that bad until later in the book.
- When trying to make legitimate points, like how women often say what they feel instead of what they think, the extremity of his examples undermine him and just make him sound ridiculous. It's no wonder so many women take offense at this book, and it didn't have to be that way.
- Sometimes his writing actually IS just feel-good nonsense. I notice this when he covers the most sensitive subjects, like how men will be attracted to multiple women and how women become less physically attractive as they age. In these subjects, he covers up what he really wants to say in flowery gibberish. This is upsetting to me because he spends the first half of the book preaching about being 100% open and truthful and how real men never hold anything back. Apparently Deida isn't a "superior man" even by his own definition.

Conclusion: It's worth a read, but take it with a HUGE grain of salt.

So you want a program that tells you how it ALL works and pigeon-holes everything so you can perfect yourself, your relationship, and maybe even "game the system" once you know the "rules"? Well, sometimes I do too. And good luck with that because it simply doesn't exist.

But this program is ONE of the key programs that you can use to unlock parts of your brain and heart (escape your personal "matrix") that will help you see SOME facets of life.

* Does it apply to every relationship? No. Not EVERY one of course.
* Does it define "masculine" an "feminine" and men and women in the exact perfect ways they are in the universe? No, since there are no such perfect ways in the first place. Those concepts are only our constructs based on language and such, at best. There are no such things in reality, just our interpretations. Well, Deida offers really interesting and insightful ways of describing those patterns and events and interactions that OFTEN happen in our world, better than most other programs.
* Does it capture all the pieces of the pie? Not really, since you can slice up the pie in an infinite number of ways anyway. Nothing can capture infinity. But this describes certain specific ways that you could chop them up in, which is closer to infinity than zero is (which is what happens when you do not listen to the program)

Look just buy it and listen to the craziness a couple time and then see that your brain and heart are just better off. No woo-woo or any of that crap (I hate woo-woo). I'm just talking about blazing some new synapses in your head so that when things happen later on in life that you previously couldn't understand AT ALL and made you baffled and unhappy and frustrated...now you will have parts of your mind let that through those new pathways and say "oh, that's just like that thing Deida said in the program! Cool. The pie pieces fit together that way in that context really clearly and easily that way, this time." The next situation may not. But overall you'll be better off. More tools in your toolbag.

It's not about "men" and "women." It's supposed to be about "masculinity" and "femininity" which are each displayed by BOTH sexes. But, I take it even past that: It's about two forces (of our many) that interact and dance and push and pull in each of our lives. Sometimes you'll see them clearly and sometimes you won't, but you never will if you don't get training in what they even look like in the first place from Deida.

Thank you David for giving me some cognitive and emotional peace in my life that I was simply unable to get elsewhere. Now I can "see" more of the world with understanding and acceptance, instead of saying silly things like "That can't possibly be like that!" Well, it can, it is, and now it's ok.

The sample of this book contains only the cautionary notice and then a selection of positive reviews. It abruptly ends after that, with no actual sample of the contents of this book. Very disappointed that none of the actual writing can be sampled before deciding to purchase, the option should be removed. I was very interested in reading this one, but if they are not confident enough to provide a real sample of the work, I have lost confidence in the whole.

I read this piece of garbage because I belonged to a men's group that wouldn't shut up about it. They treated this as something more holy than religious zealots treat their main books of worship.
The book was repetitive and simplistic. Rather than explore anything the author made a lot of pronouncements that the reader is supposed to swallow.
I didn't last long in that men's group when I said anything less than ecstatic about their precious book.
Hey, there are a lot of much better books for men. This one is not worth $1.

"The basic rule is this: Don't believe the literal content of what
your woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the
moment when she says it. And even then, know that she is prob-
ably talking about her current feelings, not necessarily about the
subject of whatever she is talking about. Never base your plans
on what a woman says she wants to do, unless she is in the full
flow of love when she says it. And then, expect her to change her
mind at any moment when her feelings change." pg 56 on how to deal with your woman.

If you want to worship women, live your life to serve them and learn tolerate and accept bad behavior then this book is a must read. If you've got a "happy wife, happy life" bumper sticker on your car or you wish your Mom a happy Fathers Day every year, this is the book for you!

I saw this mentioned in the same section of my last book review. I decided to give a read to see if it had good advice. As much as I thought it did, I also thought it provided food for thought.

On that note, the advice ranged from how to live to how have a successful relationship. Here's the thing: There's so much work involved because, the author delves into how much you'll be tested. And how much trust-earning you'll need to do. Of course, there's no inherent wrong in that because. why be with someone you can't trust? However, when you have to do that a lot, you might have to consider if it's worth it. It doesn't help that we're living in an age where you can get discarded, even though you're a decent person. It doesn't help that you're expected to take it on the chin. That an we have things to take the place of another person while still providing the benefits.

On the other hand, I found out a couple of things I wanted to point out. First off, celibacy just refers to not copulating. There's nothing to say you're not involved with the world. And why couldn't you be when you'd have more energy to devote towards it? Also, us and primates experience something called loss aversion. That's why negative comments hurt more than positive comments will make you feel good. I bought up because, the author claims that guys who grow up with a father will know how to take criticism. I doubt that for the reason listed above and I had my dad tell me once that if I didn't like his juice, then I should make it. (Yes, he is old enough to know better.)

In contrast, a guy who I'll call FYIJ (dislike name dropping) handles criticism concerning his controversial quite well, even asking other people for their opinions sometimes. Keep in mind that he admitted to having a single mother, and he's grown up something where they expect you to behave (unless senile) all the time. Of course, he might be the exception because, if a child starts to identify with the mother, they'll be fine with giving criticism yet get defensive when it's their turn. That's coming from someone who learned that firsthand.

All that said, this is a short book about several aspects of life. However, this might make you wonder if a relationship's worth it. Of course, that was just me. However, I appreciate the fact that he lets you know how hard it's becoming to be. That's because, I've noticed how people will tell you can do it yet leave out how hard it is. Still, he makes many great points (even if he was a bit off at times.)

Basically, like other reviewers have mentioned, this book has some insightful things. Mostly in the realm of focusing your energy onto your lifelong purpose and not wasting your time with fear or doubt. But when it comes to relationships, it's ridiculous what this author states. Here's a small excerpt:

A woman often seems to test her man's capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable. Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his woman's testing is going to end and his life will get easier.

Really? Who wants a woman like that? A woman that makes your life much more stressful. A woman that does not support you in any way, but tests you to make sure you're on top of things...

He expects the superior man to just love his woman and to give her his "gift". But his woman comes secondary to his purpose in life, which is primary....

This is a book for unics and hippies. If your a beta male who wants reinforcement to persist in your beta ways then this book is for you. ANY alpha male who reads this will get pissed off very quickly because this guy used a man title for a sissy book. Should have titled it "Way of the inferior Nancy boy".

I greatly anticipated the arrival of this audio book. I quickly discovered though that the teaching sessions are not an abridged or unabridged version of the book but rather an expounding of its principles. I'm sure I got every idea presented in the book and then some though. I've never had a harder time getting through an audio book! I'm not averse to new age lingo and feel good fluff but this book was just plain rediculous. First of all his voice gets annoying very quickly and I think quite literally every sentence ends with the phrase "give your deepest love" or "from your deepest heart" or "give you deepest gift". It's like meeting someone at a party who thinks they know everything and they rant and rant and rant in a stream of thought flow rather than delivering a coherent and distinct message. He actually poses a question at one point to the effect of "would having one sex partner help you to give your deepest gift or would several sex partners be needed?" Let me discuss that with my wife and see how she thinks I should give my "deepest gift". By the way, can the phrase "give your deepest gift" be any more vague and useless???? The book boils down to you being the masculine open ocean of nothingness and maintaining that connection while your lunatic wife/girlfriend/one of many sex partners (which is great too according to him) runs around acting psychotic and complaining because thats what the feminine aspect does! The feminine is a wily tornado of emotions according to Deida. Apparently every woman, when not in her masculine, is effectivly a spoiled 13 year old drama queen. He even alludes to the imagery of Shakti standing over Shiva's dead body holding other heads in her hands and states that men should maintain this blissful death state in order to cope with the manic feminine energy. But the solution to all this complaining, at least one of them, according to Deida, is to pin your woman down and "ravish" her repeatedly. I wanted to enjoy the spiritual aspects of this book, and am very versed in the Eastern spiritual concept of masculine God essence being vast uncreated with the movement of creation being feminine, but this book puts a terrible spin on that. Please dont waste your time on this. I really hated it to say the least.

I would like to go through why I rated it this way, give some examples and also show you some other books that may be a bit more to your liking.

About the author: David Deida has taught and conducted research at the university of California Medical School, San Diego, California and Boston. He runs workshops and is the author to numerous other books listed on his the store profile.

It's very hard to review this book. Firstly, I feel it fair to those who have read self-improvement books to skip down to the bottom of my review with regards to what would be more suitable depending on what you are looking for. For those who are just about to start reading - this is a good starter - but I felt there are stronger starters depending what you are looking for.

With regards to the store Reviews: There is a highly rated 5 star review here. I by no means plan to play it down, but as it targets other negative reviews which I found somewhat useful (although very critical). I re-read the final 3 chapters again - which were by far the HARDEST to read and had a larger share of 'feel good'. The book to me started to lose its touch the further I got into it, not the other way around. As with the 1 star reviews - I'm going to dive a bit into the book to explain what's actually going on here.

The book is divided into 8 parts.
Part 1 - this part is about you, as a man. When you read this chapter, you are opened into the ideas of seeking your passion, not to live in fear and willing to adapt. Although some of the points were OK, the examples he used made me cringe. For example, when he suggests we should be able to change everything in our lives (which is fine), he then leads into an example about a stockbroker who quits and helps business people - then have some non-profit people call, who are then linked to a rich businessman who offers you a good income all of a sudden. This is similar to the review on the store (3 stars - about how he has extreme examples). The key area which people are rating down is probably just that - examples are just hypothetical stories.

Part 2 - Dealing with women. Honestly, I read this and asked my friend to read it (female). Her words were `airy fairy'. David gives you suggestions about how to deal with a woman, such as praising her, a lot (which I think is a bit over the top), but I DO agree that praising a quality you like will magnify it. Don't criticise her, don't analyse her and don't suggest her to fix her own problems. In many cases this makes sense, but in some of his solutions it was simply `loving her'.

Part 3 - Discusses the concept of working with the opposite. It goes through some aspects to why you will love more than one woman (in his point of view), and why you choose a certain type of woman.

Part 4 - What women really want. It's unfortunate, but the one section in this part which resonated with me was his ridiculous example of a couple having intercourse and the title was "What she wants it not what she says". Skip to next part in my opinion. I'm going to rephrase this and censor it out completely:
Man meets girl. Girl says "I want you to C". Man C's. Girl says: Why did you C. Hence, she does not mean what she says. I find this example a bit crude and another extremity.

Part 5 - The titles are a bit misleading however one part stood true - a woman doesn't want her man to be `afraid' of everything such as killing a cockroach etc. The example he gave was if there were noises downstairs - you should stand up and be the one to check. I'm pretty sure any man would, after he grabs his golf stick or baseball bat. If not common sense, it may also lie a little on the false side. I have seen a gorgeous amount of marriages and couples which have men who are open to their vulnerability - some who can admit their weakness. This weakness may be apparent, but these men are also `masculine' in many other fields.

Part 6 - Goes through attractiveness (which I would feel is more `Eye of the beholder')

Part 7 - Goes through Body practices & Part 8 goes through intimacy. I'm not going through these parts as I feel it may be a bit uncomfortable discussing and also I felt I may be too critical discussing it here.

Why I DISLIKED the book, and why you may too:

1. It lacked facts - no realistic stories, just words.

2. At times it was contradictive

3. It started to become very `in the air' as if there was no way to prove any of it.

4. After each section and part you are left with that feeling of "What? Really?"

I would like the book if it equipped me with something I can move on with, but instead it made me question it. If you are a starter on improvement books - this may appeal alright, but I think some fantastic books are out there.

I would like to mention that those seeking other self-improvement books based on my other readings and some of the points which I felt were beneficial yet lacking from this book:

With regards to desire, ambition and motivation - I would recommend Think and Grow Rich

With regards to meeting a person (criticising, listening, praise) which doesn't just apply to women - How To Win Friends and Influence People

With regards to what women want, being yourself as man - I believe Models: Attract Women Through Honesty has some good points, as well as Robert Glover's No More Mr Nice Guy

I hope this helps

Pasteur Tran, Bachelorquest

My first girlfriend gave me this book.

What it did for me was help me understand how to deal with women. Unfortunately the mainstream media is saturated with politically correct but rapidly fatal advice for men in figuring out how to have good relationships with women. The reason is because the advice given is predicated on the assumption that men and women are more or less the same except with different genitals.

Besides the fact this denial of million of years of Human evolution is a shameless lie, the real tragedy is the casualties such lies have inflicted and continue to inflict on all of us till this very day.

What's even more depressing is that the main victims of this tragedy, men, derive some sort of pleasure in receiving their punishment and do not know/understand how they are supposed to react.

Help the men in your life live longer and give them this book.

I got this book because Anthony Robbins and David Deangelo (Eban Pagan) said it changed their thinking.

This book is filled with how to be a man who loves a woman and to be a man a woman loves. It is packed with character traits and information on how to understand women and the power of energy.

Perhaps most revolutionary though is his discussion about polarity; i.e. masculine and feminine energy. We all have both, but for romance there needs to be polarity, i.e. a difference between partners.

For example, if both husband and wife talk about work and growl about the boss; they are both displaying masculine energy and are headed for tension. Only one person can be the goal oriented soul, the other needs to be the follower.

Masculine is goal oriented, and your woman needs you to step up and be a man and lead. This does NOT mean masculine like in football commercials, it means masculine as in directed and confident. Feminine energy is free and flowing without the direction focused on an outcome. If you don't lead she will, but she will resent you for this.

How can this be done in a "practical manner"? For instance, when she says, "the red dress or the blue dress?" you have a chance she is handing you to be masculine. PICK ONE!! If you do what most guys to and go, "Oh, I don't know, whatever you decide is fine with me" you just displayed feminine energy and she will get bored with you and NOT find you attractive.

This is NOT "pick up artist" material where you be the jerk and then be nice as in Operant Conditioning. This is about understanding the dance of energy. Learn this book, read it and read it again. Forget other relationship books, this is the one you need to master. If you are single, you need it even more.

As a woman, this gave me great insight to men and to myself. I couldn't understand why I didn't like anyone I dated until I read this book. I had been trying to "be my own man" for so long that I was butting heads with masculine men, and at the same time, being completely turned off from feminine men. Now that I know I understand that my true wish is to just be feminine, I don't fight the masculine men anymore for control in my relationships.

I wish this book was offered in English language. The author speaks in such a new age type vernacular its ridiculous! Unless your familliar with the "speak" you will need to listen and intrepret closely. Very dissapointed in how it is presented,as most regular joes will find it hard to digest. You could probably refine this book down to about half of it current size just by using plain everyday language

That said, i do believe in the concepts he puts forth. They are concrete ideas that disregard alot PC bulls*** and border on what is now considered extremely male chauvinism. Who cares what the fems say, if it seems to be true in real life, then so be it. Sorry feminists, you naturally respond to men much more submissive than you want to believe.

This book came to be at the perfect time in my life and I can't thInk David enough for what's he's written in the book. Has instantly changed the way I view the world and my mission in it. His insights on the challenges of balancing our natural masculine and feminine energies are straight forward and make a lot of sense. His humor and wit comes through as well and he isn't afraid of making points that some may turn away from.

I spent a long time thinking about this book, which I received as a review copy. There are many interesting elements of it, and some explanations of male psychology which seemed helpful. However, in the end I found the author's view of women and of male-female relationships to be troubling. Deida seems to see himself as a guru, and this book (and another of his I read after this one) ultimately seemed to me to be tainted by misogyny and provide a sad, shrunken sense of what is possible in our lives, and of what is true.

The most important thing in a man's life is his passion/mission/purpose according to the author. This isn't much elaborated in the book, which mostly is about the second most important thing in a man's life, his woman. It is written from the man's perspective.

Sorry but this review right now is a bit messy, but I really like the book and wanted to add more comments. I'll edit at some later time.

What kind of man would like this book?
- I think men that have a bit more feminine energy (Deida' term) will benefit the most. They will see how women could be attracted to the masculine energy which they might have too little of. (If that would make the change, is a different story).
- I also think that men that are more about thinking rather than feeling will benefit a lot. I think that a feeling oriented man would already have picked up a lot of what is said in the book.
- Men that are masculine energy will get less benefit I think. They do a lot of the things right already and the book doesn't really have much to say directly to these men. These men would probably recognise a lot of what Deida is saying. So the message less novel and important for these men.

Somebody gave me a quote from the author saying something along the lines saying `don't try to change your woman'. I'm not really into self-help books, but this author felt a bit provocative (check his website), which I found interesting. This book has the standard stuff about going after your dreams today and not sometime in the future, but more interesting are the sections on the feminine.

It is funny how self-help books do not have to be politically correct. This book tells us how women are different. It even has some novel content for me. Another thing I like with the book is that it is rather brief. It doesn't give endless examples. In fact there are few examples.

The book is worth 3.5 stars. Why don't I give the book a higher rating? First, There is a fair amount of new age spiritualism underlying the themes/principles. You can see where the author is kind of coming from, but you are sometimes left thinking whether this really is good advice. It kinds of rings true, but crave some more factual evidence that in fact the advice is good. Still the book makes you think. I wouldn't say the book is new age, just that the author probably is. Second, the author likes to use the metaphor that having sexual intercourse and is very similar to interacting with the world. I don't know what to make of it. I suppose it is written in such a way to appeal to a certain kind of man. Or maybe it is just the new age style. Personally, I find the language over the top but the language also interests me to read more.

UPDATE: I have had a little time to reflect. I am now giving the book five stars because it has made me thing about certain issues. Ideally the book would have been organised around 15 chapters instead of 50 chapters and elaborated on the distinction between male/female and masculine/feminine that the author makes. But no book is perfect.

David Deida presents this guide to balancing life and relationships with an awareness of polarity dynamics. This book is focused mainly toward men who are masculine polarity dominant, and it notes that a person's polarization may be independent of his/her physical body gender. This book teaches men (and women) to understand how the polarity traits play out in our life purpose and in our relationships. The book does not teach people to seek balance within themselves - it merely encourages people to find a way to live harmoniously with existing imbalances/polarizations. Deida shares some good insights into dynamics we see in people's lives and relationships, and he acknowledges that what he's teaching is stuff that we'll ultimately transcend. One issue I would have liked to see him address is the likelihood that people may evolve or shift over time in terms of their polarization of what he refers to as "sexual essence." Since on the soul level we are androgynous, we can bring in varying degrees of both gender qualities throughout our life journey. That means things are more complex than the book implies and the relationship and life path issues discussed are always being reviewed and renogotiated. Deida shares an interesting perspective and gives a lot of insight about spiritual and sexual matters that arise as we play out gender roles in human life. This book is worth reading and is grist for discussion whether or not you agree with all the author has to say.

I read this book because I thought it would be more about general human behavior and things that could help a guy start a business or be more productive or other things along those lines. I knew it also contained supposed help for dealing with women.

Now the book does contain some good general points that can be used in everyday life when it comes to finding your purpose and getting things done, although much of it is abstract and written and though it's poetry rather than hard information. The big problem with the book is a lot of the advice for dealing with women. The author really thinks that if you're with a woman that's bat$#^^ crazy that you should go with it and turn it into a sexual thing. If your wife or girlfriend regularly screams and shouts for no reason and breaks things around the house then you're a "superior man" if you can calm her down and get her in the sack. He says your woman does this because she's not feeling loved. Now I'm not sure what the author's experience is with women or just people in general, but some people are just messed up. Some people have anger issues, some were abused as kids, some are selfish entitlement minded spoiled brats, and nowadays many are doped up on pharmaceuticals that turn them crazy. The bottom line is when you encounter people like this you need to get away from their negativity (or get them off drugs). The last thing you need to do is to let them drag you down and make your life hell. This is how you end up on daytime television in a screaming match.

So like I said parts of the book are useful, and even parts written about dealing with women have a few good points here and there, but with so much of the book revolving around women most of it turns out pretty bad because the author seems to live in a Jerry Springer type reality.

All the works by David Deida are beautifully written. However this book is one of my favourites because it is written through the lenses of man about men and for men. It helped me get into the heart and soul fo man like nothing else I have ever read. I have since first reading recommended it to many men who are trying to understand themselves, and women who are trying to understand them. Most report that the book really help them in ways nothing else ever did.

Admittedly I did not finish the book, so take this review with a cup of salt...
I could not get through more than a few chapters because there is no research or citations behind his ideas. It was more of a rant without any backing. Also ideas on energy and what not are a little fluffy for my liking.

This book is intended to provide guidance for men (or other persons of "masculine essence") in relationship with women (or other persons of "feminine essence"). It presupposes that one does not buy into the gender stereotypes of the 1950s, and that one is interested in living a full and authentic spiritual life (however one defines that) while keeping a mate happy and being a success in life in general (however one defines that). The author is explicitly concerned with the question of how to express one's male nature without being either a "macho jerk" or "New Age wimp." One finds that hard to object to.

There are a number of useful and inspiring _dicta_ in the book, first off. It might be just the elixir for some readers. I know a number of people who probably ought to act on some of the advice herein. One of them is writing this review, in fact.

I'll summarize the best parts for you: throw yourself into your work or whatever your mission in the "real world" is. Use your fear to tune in, not as an excuse to drop out. Offer your woman wide-open love, not hiding from her emotional highs or lows. Earn her trust by being true to your mission as well as open to her.

However, the gender stereotypes that were disclaimed in the first few pages are steadily re-introduced throughout the book, and frankly, they poison the atmosphere.

Deida also advocates sexual continence for men (sex without ejaculation) but he spends little effort justifying this or giving more than a perfunctory how-to. Most men are not going to take the effort to develop this ability, or more importantly, to reap the rewards of it.

I asked my wife to give this book a quick read to see if she had the same reaction to some of the gender characterizations. She did, and found a few that I glossed over on my way through.

I also see the basic framework of masculine- and feminine-essenced people as a trap. Deida opines that some biological men are of balanced essence and some of feminine essence (and so are not in the target audience for the book), but my experience tells me that all persons are a complex mess of tendencies that do not line up neatly along gender lines, and that also flex over time, especially when in a wide-open relationship with someone capable of the same.

Should you find yourself in a relationship with someone who embodies this book's implicit definition of a feminine essence, you might not do too badly, for a first approximation, by manifesting its ideal of masculine essence. Just stay alert to indications that changes are needed, because those are also significant avenues for growth.

I thought this book would help me be a better man especially in relation to women. I thought it would get me more in touch with my masculine polarity and help me relate to feminine polarity. Boy was I wrong. I tried reading this book twice. Both times I gave up after being so disguisted I couldnt bear to read anymore. This book basically just magnifies all of womens worst qualities and behaviors and then attempts to justify and even glorifiy them poetically with new agey jargon. However for someone who has any amount of common sense they arent going to see through the smoke screen. The truth of the matter is that you are being shown womens worst qualities and it is disguisting even with the new agey poetry, as a matter of fact I think that makes it worse. This book is nonsensical at times. And there are times when it plays into sexist traditional gender roles too rather than embracing the new age independant female.

I have seen david deidas seminars and liked them so I was really surprised that this book was so bad. But both of my attempts at reading this book have made me disguisted both with the author and with any women who fit this profile. If you are looking for a book to make you super frustrated and turned off by women, this is the book for you. However if you are looking to get in touch with your masculinity so that you can get in touch with women better, I'd stay as far away from this one as possible. If you are ever at a library or book store just walk the other way. Or burn them.

David Deida's wisdom is drawn widely from ancient Taoist wisdom of the play of yin and yang energy, including taoist lovemaking arts. And he applies the wisdom on our current day world and situation quite accurately. These days, most women have adopted a masuline side while many men have acquired a more softer feminine side, balancing out the polarity. He talks about cooling and hot energy, all taoist and chinese concepts. Some Western readers may not understand these concepts or believe in them. However these concepts are the basis of nature.

Deida's interpretation of women and men's needs truly is magnificent. Men and women have been going on without knowing their instinctive needs and desires, getting confused and frustrated. Read this book if you want to understand how to make your woman feel happy with you. if you are a lady, read "Its a Guy Thing" by Deida.

This is a good book on relationships, differences between genders, and how to create attraction through polarization of the masculine and feminine. Its not perfect though but what book is? I wonder if anyone out there know how to get the audio/videoclip called "David Deida: Feminine & Masculine Sexiness, 3rd Stage Relationships, Purpose & Heart - 1999"? It was previously on youtube but now it seems to have been removed.

Best regards, Erik Pålshammar.

I don't usually like books or articles that are focused on 'men, this, women, that' and I nearly always find men that talk that way insufferable ("Well, I'm a man, and a man..."). But I have to say, this book is different.

It's basically the best thing I've read on how a woman's mind works and how and why women and men differ in their basic life approaches.

This book will make you more patient and accepting of your woman's shifting moods and opinions because you'll understand where they come from (and that they're not going to go away).

And you'll have a way to reconcile your need to 'do your own thing' with the demands of relationships and family.

From a guy who hates books like this, this one is totally worth it.

I can recommend this book wholeheartedly--truly I have read multiple relationship books and listened to endless hours of teachers on tape, and David Deida has changed my relationship SO MUCH for the better. Sure there are things that IRK me in his writings, things I don't agree with, but afterall, he is only human too! And you can take certain things with a grain of salt just as in any teaching.

Yet what he does teach in this book has thrust my husband and I forward in our growth, faster and farther than any book we've read together. THIS book plus the book for women titled "Dear Lover" are filled with eye opening thoughts and practices. (I literally cried with relief when we read "Dear Lover" because it fnally felt as though a man understood exactly what a woman needs and longs for.) Some age old wisdom, retooled in Deida's funny, no nonsense language.

I am giving copies to both my 20-something sons!

Shelly

If you wish to become a more traditional man and to understand the deep spiritual implications of the relationship between the masculine and feminine, you MUST purchase this book.

I dream of a world where all men have read and understood the contents of this book.

It's a great book. But if I chose to paraphrase the book in a negative way: do everything that needs to be done towards your own goals and your woman will be happy.
But what if you need HER to get off her proverbial bottom and do stuff?
I don't have to be a rocket scientist, nor a woman, to tell you that if you keep doing things for somebody, they'll love you for it. Kind of. For a while...
None of the books I've seen yet are, however, able to answer the question HOW to motivate a woman on the occasions where simple physical, boring labor is required and get her to DO things.
"Cinderella Complex" points out that women naturally turn passive in a relationship and it yields them unhappy. That book does not give any cues to the MAN, as to how to solve that. Only the woman herself can catch it and avoid it.
John Gray and David Deida both provide a similar message about setting the "romantic trap" for a woman by acting manly and doing things in spite of her, for her, doing more than her. But once you "catch" her how do you get her to be 50% of the relationship if she was wooed by your workaholic ways?

This book came as a shock to me. I was expecting some lame, politically correct and philosophically impotent work like almost all the other books these days on gender relations. I was very much mistaken much to my delight. The author is not afraid to be or apologetic about being a man. That in itself is worthy of a few stars. The advice he gives is mostly correct I believe and I plan to give this as a Christmas present to the young men in my life, especially the heterosexual ones who need this the most as take up the lion's share of the front lines in this God-awful, anti-male gender war that has seemingly been won by feminists and the men (?) who support them and has created the maggot-infested family of 20th and 21st century America. This book is certainly not perfect. For one thing I do except some of his prerequisites (for example: "[this book is] written explicitly for people who have already acheived respect for other genders and sexual preferences, and who consider men and women to be social, economic, and political equals") however if he hadn't written them chances are his book would never have been published. Make no mistake, I am no misogynist but the modern idea of equality is (and has been) quickly corrupting the souls of all cultures, races, religions and genders. Fighting against it is the same as fighting against Starbucks and Walmart. By fighting both both one does the same thing: to foster true diversity by letting people live as they are supposed to without being brainwashed by mass-market corporate and sociological experiments that are demonstrably failing. This book is a small step toward ridding ourselves of this profound devolutionary phenomenon. I thank the author for having the courage to write it and the publishers for having the courage to publish it.

P.S. If you are thinking about purchasing this book make sure that you check out the one star reviews . You will quickly learn who the enemy is and how they work.

Reviewing a book often reveals as much or even more at times, of the reviewer as the book itself. So in an effort to be fair and as objective as possible, there are a few things that should be disclosed by this reviewer up front. First, the cultural and religious perspective of this reviewer comes from a different perspective than that of the author of this book. The cultural perspective of the book, although not overwhelmingly so, is Indian, Hindu with a strong focus on yoga. This reviewer has a decidedly western cultural background as well as a post-evangelical religious perspective.

That said, most of the book deals with things in a manner that puts what it has to say in a context that doesn't require the reader to accept the cultural and religious elements, such as they are, to understand what is being said and to receive and apply many of the truths it has to say.

There is a strong focus upon recognition of energy both in terms of quality and quantity and how to achieve internal balance as well as relational balance. The author clearly is not concerned with being politically correct in many contexts and layers the book with strong statements of gender differences in terms of energy and psyche that many readers will be challenged by. This is no doubt intentional. In terms of the basic content of the book, I frankly found a lot of common ground with books in my experience that come from a more decidedly secular point of view such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex or Iron John: A Book About Men and Christian works such as Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul.

Some readers may take offense at some of the language in places. The author is not afraid to use some course terms although they are not consistently used and it was evident to this reviewer they were used for emphasis rather than for gratuitous shock value.

With all of these things recognized many who approach this book, even with the cultural and religious overtones understood there is likely still to be some challenges. There are elements within the book, which this reader still found very close to a sense of machismo in places that comes across very strongly. However, there also were elements that moved beyond that to a focus upon servanthood and sacrificial love that would "preach" just as well within a Christian Church or men's retreat that demonstrate the commonality of human experience and values across different spectrums.

What this book adds however, to other books from different perspectives is a very deep level of practical suggestions in terms of actions within relationship and physical elements of control and self-discipline that are much more down to earth that other books of this nature that I've read. Those, like me, however, who don't have a great deal of practical exposure or experience in Yoga may find those elements, which require a great deal of practice and discipline, a little much. Outside of that however, the practical and general teachings and suggestions of the book, in most places, transcend any one cultural or religious system and will challenge most men in more than one area of their lives and relationships.

This may seem trifling but it's worth noting as well that the book is peppered with small spelling and grammatical errors that gives evidence of a lack of attention to editing that this reader found annoying overall.

Overall, a worthy read.

4 Stars

Bart Breen

Amazing guide. I get so much every time I read it and new lessons are meaningful depending on my life experiences. Highly recommended. Everyone has their own experience, but I imagine the people who have given bad reviews either do not "get it" per se or they are resistant to the teachings. Totally understandable and Deida can sometimes be hard to understand, but in the scheme of things it is worthwhile. Kind of reminds of me Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind in that I must constantly re-read over and over and get something new every time.

This book is the guideline for all real man. You may not agree with everything he says, and it certainly wont be politically correct, but David Deida delivers. Personally, this book helped me unlock my passions and purpose in life. Its led me to re-evaluate my career and my life and start to take the steps toward true manhood. If your looking for answers with women, work, or life in general, this book will be your blueprint.

This is one of the best "self-help" books I have ever read. David Deida writes with so much more depth and meaning than any of the other relationship books like "Men are from Mars" He calls it like it is; men with a very masculine nature in a relationship with a woman need to be true to themselves and embrace their polarity. At the same time, he needs to accept the fact that a feminine woman needs special understanding and love, but he does not need to emasculate himself. He needs to understand that her moods are like the changes in the weather and most complaints from her are not literal. She does not want to make every tiny decision, and in fact, respects her man more when he places his mission ahead of his relationship with her. A superior man needs to be true to himself, know and pursue his mission in life wholeheartedly and give lovingly to his woman. He does not merely tolerate his woman's bad moods; he envelops her with love to bring her out of them. It is normal for him to be attracted to other women, even younger women. He can embrace this desire without acting on it. He can enjoy the feminine stormy polarity of his own woman, while being enough of a man to guide and love her.

This book changed the way I think about my relationship with the extremely feminine woman in my life. David Deida is an unheralded genius who deserves much more acclaim and recognition than he receives. I don't know where he learned all that he offers, but it is indeed profound. This book can be read daily like a devotional, a chapter each morning. It can be read and re-read. It makes a wonderful gift for brothers, or close friends in your life. It was out of print for a few years and was selling for over $100 on ebay - luckily, they have done another print run of this paperback edition.

Once or twice a year I make a point to read something that is completely off my book list. This was my most recent choice. By the title I assumed it might be a type of new age book that might grate on my nerves. Or it might just as easily be a book that really shakes up my thinking.

Initially I found the tone of the book ludicrous. The author occasionally writes with assumptions resembling political correctness, and a hip presumption that will remind you of the Buddhism you learned from your surfing buddies. He has the post-modernist's dread of appearing to have any values, and initially came close to mimicking a boozy confessional tone, the kind where guys brag about "how many ladies" they've been with. But thankfully, after the first few chapters, something refreshingly original began to emerge.

Deida elaborates how men alienate themselves from the women they love because of identity issues and by indulging themselves in negative male behavior. At its deepest level it is a challenge to put down the beer, turn off the football game, and get off the couch. Along the way he details male motivators like the yearning for freedom that is expressed in games like football. I discovered that I was treating my wife like my therapist and was not engendering the respect I wanted primarily because I was not embracing the level of integrity my wife desired. I've made some changes and our relationship is better and I feel better about myself. For one thing if I tell my wife I am going to do something I do it. Even if I have to be a hero to do it. ESPECIALLY if I have to be a hero to do it. There are many other ideas that are equally interesting and most you won't find in other books of this nature.

I give this book two stars because it had a few redeeming qualities. The book has moments (and I mean moments) of genius that might change someone's life for the better. Although mildly repetitive at times, the book is well-organized with short, easily readable chapters. Most of the book, however, is a kind of zen-like mumbo-jumbo that reads like pure psychobabble. There is a lot of focus on self-actualization, although I don't recall if the author ever uses that terminology. Really, do we need another excuse to focus on pleasing ourselves? Even the chapters about pleasing a woman and staying in her good graces are ultimately about focusing on ourselves so that we reach some higher/deeper/greater understanding/level of *something*, etc.

While the book contains some good advice, it contains a lot of questionable advice and a lot of assumptions that are apparently based on little more than anectodal experience. To its credit, the book does at least make you think about some issues in a different way and for some people, that may be very powerful. It may change your life or it may waste your time.

Well, being a man I was recommended this book by my wife and having read it, I can see why women would love it. The message basically can be boiled down to 'love your woman with all your heart and soul no matter what she does'. The fact is that in order to improve your relationship the man should do all the 'bending', make 100% of the effort to change in order to affect that change in his woman. Whie he has some valid points which all men can adhere to I believe a relationship should be worked at equally, the woman should put her 50% in also and not expect the man to do all the work. Marriage guidance counsellors do not have sessions with only one side of the relationship present, both must participate for it to work. In fact I would go so far as to say that if your woman reads this book and recommends it to you - you are in serious trouble because this is what she will now expect, as is the case with me. There should be a book called the 'way of the superior woman' to guide a woman to improve herself also, when David Deida's wife releases this book then I'll be happy. While I agree with a lot of what he says I do not think it is correct that the woman is allowed to continue in exactly the same way with the man making all the effort within the relationship - which in essence is what this book states. A woman reading this book will not understand man at all, it gives no insight to how a man is - but what she will understand is how great it would be to change her man to act like the persona described within the book. For a relationship to work, both sides need to work on it. A lot of the things he states are simply impossible unless you are a buddhist monk without temper, opinion or passion. If a woman is ranting and raving but is completely wrong the man has to 'open himself, listen to it, be amused by it and then just hold or kiss, tickle, wrestle with his woman to make her calm down and end the argument' - Seriously? How many men can make that work? I would love to see a successful man in action doing that. I've tried that and it sure doesn't work. Point is, the man might show love in this way but you also diminish yourself and stress yourself to the max while taking all this grief from your partner.It is a heavy burden to be argued at, but not be able to respond only to give 'love'. This book has some helpful things for man but women will enjoy it more as 'wishful thinking' on how their man should do everything to make her happy, no matter what. Like I said - if there is a book the way of the superior man, there should also be the 'way of the superior woman' so that both can work on their relationship. No relationship will ever succeed when only one party does all the work. Also some of his writing is so flowery i wonder what he was smoking at the time because I do not even have a clue what he is talking about sometimes even after re-reading it. He also many times tells you how to act but if you really want to help man to change you have to give more practical advice - not just to 'love your woman' - give some more examples, that would be good. You can't build a rocket ship without instructions or a manual - just saying 'go and build it' won't get you a rocket ship.
All in all I await the 'Way of the superior woman' to level the playing field.The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire

This is one of my favorite books. I have given many copies as presents because I think the info is very valuable. One must be willing to be broad minded to allow for some interpretation as Individuals' masculine and feminine forces may be malleable.
Written with "short attention spans" in mind. Great bathroom book!

One way to see how good a books is to read it every 2 years or so.If every time you read it you look at the book from a different perspective or you feel it has something new to teach you then its a good book.I consider this book and 48 Laws of power by Robert Greene to be such books.

Obviously, I am not the ideal target audience for this book.

This book was recommended to me by a friend. I found it a confronting and difficult read. That said; it did seem to explain some of the unfortunate dynamics that I have witnessed between men and women in the boardroom.

Deida starts from the contention that men and women are vastly different. This shouldn't be a difficult idea to defend. However, when descriptions of the feminine character seem to include notions of mindless vacillation it is hard for a woman who has earned a place in the higher echelons of business to sympathise with his point of view. Quotes such as "for the feminine, truth is a thin concept compared to the thickness of her flow of feelings" and "What your woman says is like a cloud passing in the sky; well formed, coherent, and unrecognizable moments later" raised feminist hackles I never knew I had.

Putting aside my automatic response to the evolutionary behaviouralism: The book is well written and thought provoking. The short chapters make it an excellent travelling companion and the introductory paragraphs before each chapter allow rapid assimilation of ideas. The book should comfort men who are uneasy with their role as masculine beings in workplaces replete with tough, dependable women. The advice to enjoy the delightful feeling that attractive women provoke in most men but not to act upon any sexual impulse arising from it would save plenty of employers the cost and distraction of harassment cases.

There is some good advice in this book. Recognising masculine and feminine traits, then selecting the most appropriate for each situation, may enable readers to be more effective in the modern workplace. Women readers will need to take a deep breath and remind themselves that Deida is talking about the superior man as compared to the inferior man and not as compared to women (whether superior or otherwise). Male readers will need to remember that, in a workplace where technical skills, contractual agreements and the supremacy of logic are the basis for success, they will be surrounded by women who act more like men and who expect to be accorded a masculine measure of respect.

Unlike Henry Higgins, Deida understands that for men and women to be more like each other is not always the best basis for exciting relationships, it may, however, be a good basis for trans-gender workplace friendships.

Now for the big question: Does this book help with exciting relationships outside the workplace? I'm not telling; you'll have to read it yourself!

I'm not exactly what you would call the "spiritual type," but Deida's book made a lot of sense to me. If their is one point Deida gets across is that you have a purpose in life. What that purpose is, is up to you to discover. Once you are confident what your purpose is, focus all your energy on that purpose. The purpose will not always remain the same. It may change and you will have to shift gears to achieve it. Nothing should get in the way of your purpose. However, relationships are also constant in your life. Deida goes on to explain that no matter what kind of relationship you are in (straight or gay), in order for it to succeed, each person will need a defining gender role.

One must have dominant male characteristics and the other, dominant female characteristics. While Deida explains that both roles will have the opposite as well, it is the dominant feminine or masculine that determines your being. As a straight man I found the advise and observations about women to be helpful. Some things that I didn't understand about women's reactions or behavior now make more sense after reading Deida's explanation. After having read, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love" prior to this, I found many similarities. Don't confuse sexist male/female roles with Deida's masculine/feminine comparisons. They are like night and day.

Before I read this book I used to yearn for my perfect shakti woman as I fed squirrels and chased butterflies in the forest. Now I proudly stride through the urban jungle like a Neanderthal with wings of my own. Women throw themselves at me…actually, they throw things at me. But that’s beside the point. I realize that when they say, “Get away from me you creep,” they actually mean, “Come to me my Shiva, with your hot throbbing masculine core that my wishy-washy feminine energy longs to stick to like flies to a fly trap.” Now I make love in parks with random women. Their screaming and flailing I know is not an expression of their true feminine energy, which is actually wistfully sighing for the masculine core inside my pants. (By the way, I wonder if Ben and Jerry’s will come out with an ice cream flavor with a masculine core soon; it seems we’re in the New Age of ice cream as well as male-female relationships.) I have been practicing these methods in my primary relationship. When my woman asked me to pay my half of the rent I ravished her instead. Because her thoughts are merely jellyfish floating through the ocean of my masculinity, I know she didn’t really want me to pay me the rent. And that her calling the cops was just a playful way of bringing new excitement to our sex life. Thanks, David Deida, for my ten-year prison sentence. It’s a great place for me to share my masculine energy with other men.

I don't think I have ever read anything that would have such an instantaneous effect on me. This book is absolutely amazing. I won't tell you what it is about -- there are other reviews here you can read. I will only say that you will never be the same after you read it (if you are open to its message). Life will take on a very different meaning.

In one week, I went from "She does not appreciate how great I am and what I've done for her!" to being able to be fully present in the relationship. I went from "I can't deal with her constant change of opinions and tastes" to starting to be able to connect to more of who she is inside. I went from "Everything is SO difficult with her!" to being able to be open, stand straight, and not be swayed and hurt by changing tides.

I am sure I am far from being a superior man still. But it's a great, and amazing, start.

Also, in my opinion, you may have trouble reading this book if you think you are the only normal person around, and the whole world is out to screw up your life. If you are of this opinion, try therapy first. To really get the message in this book, you need some degree of introspection. You need to be able to see your crap for what it's worth.

I got this book because Anthony Robbins and David Deangelo (Eban Pagan) said it changed their thinking.

This book is filled with how to be a man who loves a woman and to be a man a woman loves. It is packed with character traits and information on how to understand women and the power of energy.

Perhaps most revolutionary though is his discussion about polarity; i.e. masculine and feminine energy. We all have both, but for romance there needs to be polarity, i.e. a difference between partners.

For example, if both husband and wife talk about work and growl about the boss; they are both displaying masculine energy and are headed for tension. Only one person can be the goal oriented soul, the other needs to be the follower.

Masculine is goal oriented, and your woman needs you to step up and be a man and lead. This does NOT mean masculine like in football commercials, it means masculine as in directed and confident. Feminine energy is free and flowing without the direction focused on an outcome. If you don't lead she will, but she will resent you for this.

How can this be done in a "practical manner"? For instance, when she says, "the red dress or the blue dress?" you have a chance she is handing you to be masculine. PICK ONE!! If you do what most guys to and go, "Oh, I don't know, whatever you decide is fine with me" you just displayed feminine energy and she will get bored with you and NOT find you attractive.

This is NOT "pick up artist" material where you be the jerk and then be nice as in Operant Conditioning. This is about understanding the dance of energy. Learn this book, read it and read it again. Forget other relationship books, this is the one you need to master. If you are single, you need it even more.

This book is infuriating though it had some interesting parts which there were some truth to. As a woman I would cringe being anywhere near this guy. He sees women as interchangeable, disposable creatures who talk nonsense and are good for challenging him to continue his personal growth. He does not seem to see them as actual human beings. Yes I get this is supposed to create polarity and passion in the bedroom. You can have passion and respect and understand women at the same time. I really thank god I am not in a relationship with a guy like this. And no I am not denying my feminine nature like he would accuse any woman who disagrees with him of doing. And you know what, women have goals and dreams in life outside their relationship too, and no, it is not just because we are again denying our feminine nature. It is not women's nature to have nothing in their lives except their relationship...we have been property for so many years that we still don't believe we deserve our own dreams. There is another point in the book where he almost encourages men to cheat. He encourages men not to care about their relationship. He clearly does not care much about his--that is crystal clear from the book. This book was entertaining in that it was obnoxious and controversial. I do think he had some points but he paints a picture of anything but a superior man in my mind. More like a man who feels he is superior to women and lives his life accordingly.

First, I am not the target audience for this book because I am a woman looking to strengthen my masculine energy rather than a man looking for advice. Unfortunately for me, this book is mostly about men dealing with women both in dating circumstances and dealing with desire for casual female acquaintences.

Despite the fact that the author says that as a man your "mission" is more important than your woman, he spends the vast majority of the book talking about relating to women. He does devote a few pages to finding your mission (just wait for inspiration to strike) and living on the edge with fear, but does not elaborate on this general advice so it's not particularly helpful. If the "mission" is the most important thing for a man (masculine energy), why doesn't he devote more time to the topic?

Since I don't want to date a woman, most of the advice doesn't apply to me. However, I am skeptical of the advice offered. He says that when your woman expresses emotional (feminine) energy, you shouldn't dissect it with logical (masculine) energy. Fair enough. However his advice is to respond physically and humorously for example "scream and lick her face"... which is like WHAT?!

If I was in an argument and my male partner screamed and licked my face, I would think he was childish at best and crazy at worst. To me, it would indicate that he wasn't listening to me which would make me more angry. This advice *might* work with a strong feminine energy woman, but it would certainly annoy me a lot.

Some of his advice centered around the woman being irrationally angry and the man withstanding her constant tests of his masculinity which just sounds like a dysfunctional relationship to me. And the humorous and physical ways out of it like screaming, licking, tickling, touching, caressing, etc wouldn't seem like it would work, but like I wrote before maybe that does work with an extreme masculine energy man and an extreme feminine energy woman.

Also I think the author confuses personality energy with sexual energy. I would say I have 70% masculine energy and 30% feminine energy in my personality, but I have feminine sexual energy. I have known men who were the reverse and had more feminine energy in their personality, but a masculine sexuality. The author constantly uses sexual energy to indicate personality energy which is too simplistic. Also he takes the sexual energy metaphors to the extreme... constantly talking about the man's "gift" (to mean both semen and contribution) and penetrating his woman, the world, life etc. It's quite hokey.

Perhaps a masculine energy personality man with a masculine sexuality would find value in this book if he wants advice about women. If you are someone who is looking for more general advice about how masculine energy relates to the world, look elsewhere.

This book is incredible for relationships. My synopsis is that a man should not behave like a PC wimp and try to understand women in the modern effeminate sense, but to behave as men always have, and that is to act in the modern term of a caveman. Don't try to psycho-analyze your wife. Just be a man.

I bought this book because my wife would become irrational and be mad at me randomly and I did not understand why. When she would be mad at me, I thought I could fix it, but what she said was not the issue she was mad at me, it was another unrelated issue. I was teetering on a point of divorcing her, and she likely wanted to also divorce me. I would try to fix her problems using logic and try to ask her why she was upset. This would only increase her anger and irrationality. I read this book and discovered that I didn't understand her, but with this book, I knew how to understand her. After reading this book and implementing it, I experienced a complete change within our marriage. It made our relationship better.

I received this book and read it cover to cover that night. Some of the scenarios he described in this book felt like he had been listening to the arguments between us. I immediately began to use his suggestions and observations and it worked. I learned that when my wife is on one of her illogical anger streaks, that instead of previously trying to talk to her, ask her about her problems, ask if I could help, ask what is wrong with her - all of my prior actions which only worsened her anger, it works out better to just listen to her, then completely ignore her because I am only messing with dynamite and am only hurting myself. This advice from the book has given me so much happiness because the next day my wife is so loving. Prior to this book, she still resented me the next day.

Two weeks after using the ideas in this book, my wife told me that she loves the new me and doesn't want the old me to ever come back. Mr. Deida in his book, describes how a man thinks logically, and tries to fix the problems with their wife using logic, as they would fix any problems in their lives normally using logical steps. This doesn't work with women. The scenarios in his book exactly described our problems, and the results of using his techniques/approach have made my marriage from a rocky one, into a solid marriage.

I would suggest this book to any man that is having problems in their relationship, or their partners are blowing up at small things that seem insignificant, but are representing completely different issues. It helped me immensely, and it also helped my wife begin to respect me much more, though she doesn't understand why. And that too, is explained in the book.

Deida's thesis lies in the concept of polarity - in short "opposites attract." This is something that has been expounded upon in Taoist and Zen Buddhist philosophy - the concept of the yin and yang - two opposing forces, both necessary for the balance of the physical world, sociologically in the political and social sense, and spiritually within oneself. For Deida, in order for balance in sexual matters, there must be both masculinity and femininity. "Feminine" attributes are a desire for love, desire to nurture, along with a sexual attraction to dominance. "Masculine" attributes are desire to live "on the edge" and to accomplish a "mission" for freedom, along with a sexual attraction to submission. It must be noted here that Deida's distinctions between masculinity and femininity are more arbitrary than logical. He asserts that 90% of the population falls into either the masculine or feminine category, with the remaining 10% more balanced between the two, who couldn't care less about sexual polarity (and whom, unfortunately, Deida equates with "androgyny" - a potentially insulting and inaccurate connotation). For those 90% though, in order to sustain a truly satisfying sexual relationship, one partner must embody the "masculine", and the other must embody the "feminine."

In short, this is a good read. Not five stars, but good.

I read this book with my boyfriend as we are in the beginnings of a monogamous and committed relationship and wish to have a healthy bond on all levels. We read slowly night to night, digesting each paragraph, wanting to understand, and even like, this work. Conclusion: We did not find much rhythm in here to want to live our relationship by. Deida's findings on what a feminine woman is like is "dysfunctional" at best; I would advise a man to get away from this woman Deida describes, or set boundaries until "she" seeks counsel to get her metabolism and heart in order to accept a truly "superior masculine man". The mood swings do not rationalize what a man (or anyone) should tolerate, and I consider myself a "female" woman. What is described therein resembles a flailing woman in her immaturity who does not have her direction in place and resonates as being "spoiled". I don't find these characteristics "female" at all. Female is poised in her grace, dignity, confidence, strength and humility. She looks up to her man and knows how to listen, as well as speak. When she chooses and cares to speak, she does so with love, respect and care for how she is heard. There simply is nothing attractive to me, nor my boyfriend, about the female Deida has laid out in this book. There are about 10 chapters of the 51 that we liked. There were the helpful and succint paragraphs thrown in here and there that were spot on. For the most part, this book is filled with the author's opinions and his convictions. As a woman having done alot of work on herself, I found this book to be out right silly and possibly harmful for couples to follow.

TWO BIG THUMBS UP!! I'd give this book more stars if they let me. Ok, I'll to try to try and control my unbelievable enthusiasm for this book, and write an intelligible review. T

This book is completely bananas. "Bananas, that's not intelligible." Ok, I know, but hear me out. Bananas is a word I use, on a not too frequent basis, to describe something completely and utterly different from anything else. I have read lots of so-called self-help books, and I usually get a stomach ache from all the sugar it feeds me, and for the most part they're retroproductive. This book does not candy coat anything, nor is it any way rude or condscending about problems that everyone has. When I say everyone, I mean everyone. The book is titled "Way of the Superior Man," but it debunks problems that every man or woman has. He explains why he made the title the way he did in the intro.

I think the thing that separates this from other self-help books, is that it doesn't teach you how to cope with problems, it teaches you how to squash them. The suggestions he has about life and happiness are not geared toward making things easy, they're geared toward making yourself great. It's a book everyone should read, especially every man.

This book had a lot of interesting insights into male/female relationships and male and female psychology. It's interesting, but is true? I read the book slowly the first time and pondered each sentence and even found it worthwhile to read it over again. Like most self-help books, it is highly idealistic as Deida urges the masculine men to break out of mediocrity and into the way of the superior man. He says that man should persist in giving his gifts of love and service to his woman and world, even when they sometimes resist him. He gives us a pep talk at half time in the game of life. I suppose the book may even change a reader's behavior for the better, if the lessons are taken to heart and practiced consistently. I was impressed with his insights which he gives in short chapters. I thought the book might be a good read for a young man starting out in life. He artfully dodges being critical about either sex. We should just accept the dark and light of masculine and feminine as it is. Deida does not refer to who his intellectual influences are, but some of the book deals in Oriental thought. None of it is scientific, but is the author's personal observations.

Deida goes over gender differences and how they play out in relationships. As far as a masculine man goes, he is looking for greater freedom in his life. He should search for his deepest purpose and live it. If a man is living his deepest purpose, he will find that the rest of his life and relationships will complement him, rather than challenge him. How to find your purpose is not much focused on. But he does give some general advice such as practicing meditation and eliminating distracting pleasures that keep you from finding your purpose. Most men never go beyond mediocrity because they are superficially comfortable there and do not wish to live on the edge where fear and possibly greater rewards lurk.

A feminine woman, on the other hand, is looking for love and makes loving relationships the prime focus of her life. Deida says that the polarization of masculine and feminine should be kept in marriages; otherwise, the attraction will start to die out. Feminine women often express how they feel at the moment and then change their mind a moment later. They are not lying from their point of view; but are just following their feelings.

When a woman gets in a bad mood, a man must face her mood with loving humor and try to bring her out of it. In this way, he shows her his strength that she wants to feel. Women continually test men in relationships in their weak spots, hoping that they will become stronger. Deida gives advice about what to do in times of testing such as not withdrawing from her. Men are attracted to feminine radiance, but hate having to deal with bad moods and testing.

Deida says that androgyny does not work for most marital relationships or in the bedroom. But you could make the argument that androgyny does not work anywhere and we should get back to traditional roles for men and women, as I suppose Roy Masters or Henry Makow would argue. Deida is not too far away from those arguments once he states that men and women are different. If women are different from men, they do not need to be in man's world of work where emotions at the moment are not valued, but only consistency, clarity, law, and order. Deida gets out this argument by saying that women can develop their masculine side enough to work in a man's world. I think that if a woman develops her masculine side, then she will lose her feminine radiance that keeps her attractive.

I listened to the audiobook version based on the recommendation of a friend of mine. I had high hopes for it but was very disappointed. I'm not saying the book has no value, but what I am saying is that the value in this book could be condensed into a very concise 8-10 sentance paragraph. It is so diluted by pseudo-scientific psychobabble that the author ends up repeating himself over and over and ultimately ends up actually saying very little. For a book about being a better man this guy sure does talk about emmotions in the most feminine way I can imagine. My wife wouldn't even talk like that. It's also worth noting that in the audiobook version the author sounds like a very feminine Ben Stein. Only worth noting because it's hard to take advice on being more masculine from a guy that sounds like that. I found myself working very hard not to discount everything he was saying. There are much better books out there about being a better man.

Not for the analytical mind. This is more of a mixture of observations on male-female dynamics mixed with mysticism and eastern religion. So every observation is for you believe blindly on rather than a demonstration of any point. While some things are true about male or female energies, they are also pretty self-evident and nothing new. It's like John Gray talking his theories while justifying them with mysticism and religion.
I bought the audio book and he sounds like a surfer dude teaching Yoga, trying hard to explain spirituality, you try to take him seriously at the beginning, but after phrases like "a slut for God" you just can't help but start laughing... and start thinking is this dude just trying to get laid?...

Ultimately, Deida's advice here boils down to "be a man" without buying into blind macho-ism, something that the vast majority of males in our matriarchal society fail to do.

Deida has a perspective that our culture has lost and he advocates the following philosophies

1) Be a man, live for yourself and attain your purpose in live, embrace your passions at all costs even if it means that you must deal with the disapproval of others (family, significant other, etc.) Be the leader, the dominant figure, and let others follow. Do not buy into the "political correctness" of 50/50 between men and woman because this does away with the polarity on which successful relationships are dependant.

2) Eliminate the fears that hold you back, for they are artificial devices which exist to hold you down.

3) Be real and truthful, stop changing yourself to please the people/woman in your life because that is a blatant lie and will not benefit either one of you, embrace your spiritual flow without seeking approval.

Of course there is a lot more that goes into it, but this is about as much as I can tell you without giving too much of a spoiler.

This is all good information. Problem is, up to this point, for those of you who already understand the nature of the male/female dynamic and masculine/feminine you are probably going "well durrrrrrrr".

I give it four stars though because it is indeed a good read for males who have been brainwashed by society into believing this "men aren't allowed to be men and women aren't allowed to be women" propaganda. And since this constitutes the majority of today's society, then the book deserves a solid rating.

Couldn't give it a 5 though because for those who have already seen through the social programming/brainwashing that goes on here in America, it's all going to be common sense with a few bits of applicable wisdom here and there.

Deida offers guidance to men in a way that helps them find their ultimate purpose, and give themselves the world. This book will change your outlook on relationships with everyone: friends, family and that special other.

Some will say you will read new meanings into songs, perhaps your sexual relationship with greater insight. Maybe most important - spirituality and sexuality will combine within you for an exaulted, transformative experience.

- GiddyupGuy

This is a very good book, though I like several of the author's other books more (Finding God Through Sex and Wild Nights specifically). One thing that has proven very useful is the short, but pointed chapters. In the morning I can read one over coffee, but the lesson sticks with me throughout the day.

I would also say that the CD series of the same name is a very suitable adjunct. I would recommend that you consider buying both.

I thought this was a pretty great book, on the whole, though I would not recommend it to a man just starting to seek guidance, reflection and perspective on this area of his life. The ideas in this book are best taken in perspective to a number of more even-handed concepts of masculine development. To the person looking for where to begin, or whom is otherwise approaching with a beginning heart, I *strongly recommend* reading "King, Warrior Magician, Lover." Then, with perspectives in-hand, return with interest to Deida's "The Way Of The Superior Man" ~ which you will enjoy much more at that time.

Why I feel it is important to not start here is because I feel that if someone were to base their perspective of masculine development on this book of Deida's, the reader would miss much subtlety. Once armed with that subtlety, "The Way Of The Superior Man" will be quite igniting.

For further consideration on this book, I recommend reading the the store review of it by Enamorato "leboheme."

This is a valuable, insightful book into how the noncastrated man can relate to women. Instead of the macho male or spineless whimp, Deida gives us a new model to live by. His belief that women will only respect us if we put our life's purpose first really resonated with me. Now every time I see a man criticize or loose patience with his woman, I think, "he's not a superior man."

One thing lacking in this book is deep spiritual insight. It's full of practical tips and tools, but it lacks insight into the truly superior nature of our being: the soul. Afterall, the subtitle is "A Spiritual Guide to Mastering . . ." I wanted more than gathering in the woods with other men and singing and dancing. I want to know the way of the "Superior and Spiritual Man."

A good complement to this book, which offers insights into being both a superior man and a spiritual man is "This Side of the Gate" by John P. Johnston. It's the first spiritual book that speaks to the "superior man." I like the idea that we can be spiritual without giving up our masculinity. Afterall, how can we be superior men if we have no concept of the soul?

I heard Mark Whitwell, David's main competition in the Sexual Yoga realm, say that Deida has copied Adi Da's sexual yoga teachings without giving credit. I don't know if that's true, and that's not the reason I've listed this as only "Okay".

Besides some techniques, Deida's voice--sounds better on page than it does in person--is that of a gay man teaching straight men what women want. If your into that kind of thing, then give the book a chance.

I highly recommend this book and found that within hours of beginning to read this book and applying some of the wisdom in contains, my relationships with women improved and I had "tools" for better handling the "bumps in the road" that are inevitable in every man/woman relationship . There is true "sage advice" here presented in a way that acknowledges inherent psychological differences between men and women, while respecting both. I am, without a doubt, a better man after having read and absorbed the material in this book, all of which is presented in a straight-forward, no-nonsense way.

The Way of the Superior Man is more of a recipe book or a guidebook for living life artfully, than an academic review of already existing literature.

Written for people who have witnessed and/or lived the 50's style patriarchy or the modern day equality and political correctness and are ready to move beyond those.

What Deida presents is a possible step for people who want to move from the loving, yet neutral equality already achieved in their relationship to a deeper passion. (Deeper passion not only in intimate relationships, but in life itself.)

This book offers ways to do so without moving backwards into old sexual roles and stereotypes.

Instead of "one size fits all" how-to's Deida offers inspiration to uncover your individual gifts and use them for the sake of love in both relationship and offered as a gift to the world.

This applies to the masculine aspect in both men and women.

It also offers a profound understanding of the "dance" between masculine and feminine and how this applies to relationships.

One of the most common misperceptions leading to the misunderstanding that Deida's work supports old gender stereotypes is the belief that in order to be "feminine" a woman has to give up her "direction" in the world and workforce, while the man has to be in"control".

In this book it becomes clear that this is in fact not so-it is simply useful for one partner in the relationship (man or woman) to take on the masculine and for the other partner to take on the feminine when passion and the sparks of polarity are desired.

This is done as a practice-an artform- constantly fresh and in always new and surprising ways.

The way of the Superior Man is inspiring not only in the practical realms of women, money and sex, but also in the realms of spiritual developement.

Blend the poetic eloquence of Robert Bly with the passion of Sam Keen, add a dash of zest from the Sterling Men's Weekend and New Warrior Training, and you get this exquisite book for men in the 90's. Deida writes with great clarity and insight; his discussion on a man's mission and the right place for a woman in his life is something to savor and take to heart. There is much in this book that rang true in the deepest part of me--I can't recommend it too highly. Most importantly, the material in it can be applied readily to life situations---this book "grows corn". Ken Wilber called it "a guide for the non-castrated male". I agree. This is a life-affirming achievement of the highest order. Bravo!

I read self books and I have an interest in Buddhism and Taoism. Spiritual books are often poetic and are open to interpretation. The Way of the Superior Man tries to mix poetry with paltry truths. Every sentence in the first 10 chapters is a sexual innuendo about me blooming and butt loving the s*** out of life. The author has great talent in repeating the same sentences with different words. Message received: love life and attempt tasks from the core with our deepest desires or whatever we do will come off as insincere. This is nothing really new or an undiscovered concept. Deep inside, we all know this. The most disturbing aspect of the book is the advice on dealing with women. According to the author, women are retarded babies and a superior man puts up with everything a terrible a woman does because she has no self control. There is no mention of how to pick a quality woman or how to evaluate women against your morals and values. The book starts off with telling a man to do only what his deepest desire and purpose is. Yet, the author then switches his views to how a man must become a clown, caretaker, and the mcdaddy of the relationship. What if this is not a mans desire? I want to go live my life and achieve my deepest desire but instead I am singing opera to improve my woman's mood. What if I am down? According to the author, the woman will test me to see if I am a man and I should not need praise of a pat on the back. I had no idea, I was a superior robot. Guess what? I like shoving my face in my woman's bosoms from time to time. Praise and reward is not just for feminine energy. Has the author heard of a manager? Research has shown that praise and reward are the best ways to motivate human beings (male and female).

This book is just a wishy washy pointless guide with a few life lessons that you would find in other self help books. I would not recommend buying it. It's a spiritual wannabe PUA guide.

A Superior Man recognized bullsh*t when he reads it. This is it. Good for a laugh if you want to read someone desperately trying to sound wise. "This way dissolves wide open." Yeah, someone who picked up all their wisdom from episodes of Kung Fu. (That was a fantastic show, BTW. When I was 10.)

It's actually got a few bits of decent advice but it's so buried in flowery crap that you probably won't notice.

After reading The Way of the Superior Man, my perpective on women and dating completely changed. It made me see things I never knew were in me, and things I never saw in women before. Once you go through the book, you'll go through it again because there is an immense amount of information. One fact in the book that most guys don't know, 90% of women's emotional problems come from feeling unloved. In the book he'll tell you how to deal with any relationship issue you could have (It isn't typically what you think it is). He also explains the difference between men that become lovers and men that end up in the "just friends" category with women. Truly one of the best books ever on not just becoming a superior man, but a mature man.

I can appreciate all these "be a man" pickup/seduction books and think they all have something to offer but this one takes things way beyond what most books of this genre attempt to do. It's not actually a book about picking up women although going through it and really putting everything said here into place within your life will give you that result. This book is more about being a man on all levels, including spiritually and emotionally.

I actually heard about this book from a female who was completely turned on by the thought of a man acting in the way that the author describes. Once I started making some the changes which the author suggests, I found out she was not the only one.

This book is not for everybody. You have to have a good understanding of personal development and really be willing to look at all the things we, as men, have been taught by various social groups of society, such as our religious institutions, schools, or whomever else. Some of it may be a little shocking. I suggest you try it for yourself to see what your level of comfort is and how it works for you.

This book doesn't teach you how to be a jerk, although I am sure many men take it that way. It's also not an excuse for you to act like a jerk. I think a better explanation of this book would be that it teaches you to own your masculinity, good and bad.

What can I say other than this book remains best treatment of masculine navigation there is. I read it several years ago and it deeply transformed my life. I re-read it again recently and I got a tremendous benefit the second time, too. It is a must-read for both men and women!

David Deida's startling insights are a welcome contrast to the adversity between men and women that we see and hear in the media every day. Deida brings us together as man and woman, revealing the complete folly of all of the elements of our respective genders that pit us against each other. It is not masculinity that is the source of our present social problems, but rather most men's rejection of their true masculinity, as well as our complete lack of understanding about how to deal with our feminine counterpart. I started reading this book over again the minute I finished it the first time. I will probably start it again when I finish it this time! David Deida explained to me numerous things that I did wrong in the marriage that I just left... and things that I now know I am not going to do wrong again.

"The Way of the Superior Man" is an OK book, and probably very good for a younger man looking doing a little soul searching. The chapters are relatively short and too the point, and the writing is clear and direct - like a "Superior Man" would write it, I presume.

However, having been through the wringer a few times in my life, I found the book to lack depth. It actually seemed slightly defensive in tone, which is appropriate in a way because of the "anti-masculine" messaging we're surrounded by, but it wasn't something that wanted to find in a book that is supposed to be about being "Superior", and standing tall. I admit that I struggled to complete it - all too often I would read something and think "Yeah, but..." or "It's not quite that simple..." or occasionally, "I wonder what this guy's wife or girlfriend would say..."

I'm not knocking the book, or its author's take on life. For younger men, its fine. But if you're into your late 30s or beyond, you may find it lacking.

I think many of a man would benefit tremendously from such a book, because it would help us figure out what's a better way to deal with a woman as a woman and not trying to deal with a woman as a man. Of course, it is hard to really distinguish males from females in terms of thinking. I think from what I read the extremely feminine woman that he describes who changes too much with the wind would not be my cup of tea. I've been with one like that, and things are too predictable. I prefer my woman to be more of a straight shooter. She can have her moods, be typical in many ways, but I think I prefer males or females I am dealing with to show consistency rather than simply changing based on feelings. I am a planner, and it is hard to plan if someone changes like the North Texas weather. Many women are not like that, but this is definitely a useful book for us males to respect women for how they and how they are different and to honor those differences while keeping our respect and sanity as males.

I definitely recommend this book. It has helped me become mentally stronger, as well as better understand what is going on in the mind of my girlfriend. I think I am now giving off a better aura of confidence, which she notices (either consciously or subconsciously). I think I have earned more respect from her. The only reason I didn't give this 5 stars is because I didn't understand some of the "mystical" ideas Deida presented in the book (i.e. how beer and music are feminine things). I do tend to like a lot of Taoist ideas, and Deida uses these a lot.

Deida conveys a pure and sensical reflection on the taciturn desires of both men and women. His methodology is truly revelational. His message is centered around the symbiotic relationship of the masculine and feminine essence, which is not obligatorily related to secondary sexual characteristics. The didactic comes when we appreciate the differences amongst ourselves and begin to grow away from the antiquated PC roles that have spawned abusive feminism (not to be confused with feminism as a whole or women's suffrage) and the correlary emasculation. Understanding our differences is critical to helping each other with the most vivacity.

I recieved this book from my Dad on my 22nd birthday and haven't looked back. I've read this book once already and am immediately beginning to read it again. The information is so concise that I feel like I'll need a few more readings to truly grasp and retain the wonderfully laid out gems of knowledge which converge together on a beautiful and useful central theme that will change the way you think about the world. While other books need long chapters to convey the message, Deida truly masters the art of masculine communication, straight and to the point with nothing more or less than the reader needs.

If you have a woman in your life, this book will dramatically improve your understanding and acceptance of her modus operandi. Just the chapters on a man's direction, purpose and consciousness alone are worth getting and reading the book, but it's Deida's expertise on the feminine that hit home for me.

And while most "self-help" books focus on selfish growth, Deida's book is the opposite. The ultimate goal is filling the world with love. To live life to its fullest so others may also fully live. To put your entire energy into your woman only to get even more in return. Get this book and be prepared to grow.

As a woman, I cannot thank the author enough for this book. I got first copy for my husband, but he took it to his office. So, I went back to a bookstore and got another copy, so it can stay at home for him to read. It is a thought provoking book and gives better understanding about male and female as opposites. And this book speaks to a soul and in very gentle way helps to uncover man's secret desires and woman's yearning in love.
If you a woman and want better relationship with your man, by all means buy this book and let him read it. If you man, you will benefit so much from reading this gem.

The Way of the Superior Man is more of a recipe book or a guidebook for living life artfully, than an academic review of already existing literature.

Written for people who have witnessed and/or lived the 50's style patriarchy or the modern day equality and political correctness and are ready to move beyond those.

What Deida presents is a possible step for people who want to move from the loving, yet neutral equality already achieved in their relationship to a deeper passion. (Deeper passion not only in intimate relationships, but in life itself.)

This book offers ways to do so without moving backwards into old sexual roles and stereotypes.

Instead of "one size fits all" how-to's Deida offers inspiration to uncover your individual gifts and use them for the sake of love in both relationship and offered as a gift to the world.

This applies to the masculine aspect in both men and women.

It also offers a profound understanding of the "dance" between masculine and feminine and how this applies to relationships.

One of the most common misperceptions leading to the misunderstanding that Deida's work supports old gender stereotypes is the belief that in order to be "feminine" a woman has to give up her "direction" in the world and workforce, while the man has to be in"control".

In this book it becomes clear that this is in fact not so-it is simply useful for one partner in the relationship (man or woman) to take on the masculine and for the other partner to take on the feminine when passion and the sparks of polarity are desired.

This is done as a practice-an artform- constantly fresh and in always new and surprising ways.

The way of the Superior Man is inspiring not only in the practical realms of women, money and sex, but also in the realms of spiritual developement.

Blend the poetic eloquence of Robert Bly with the passion of Sam Keen, add a dash of zest from the Sterling Men's Weekend and New Warrior Training, and you get this exquisite book for men in the 90's. Deida writes with great clarity and insight; his discussion on a man's mission and the right place for a woman in his life is something to savor and take to heart. There is much in this book that rang true in the deepest part of me--I can't recommend it too highly. Most importantly, the material in it can be applied readily to life situations---this book "grows corn". Ken Wilber called it "a guide for the non-castrated male". I agree. This is a life-affirming achievement of the highest order. Bravo!

I read self books and I have an interest in Buddhism and Taoism. Spiritual books are often poetic and are open to interpretation. The Way of the Superior Man tries to mix poetry with paltry truths. Every sentence in the first 10 chapters is a sexual innuendo about me blooming and butt loving the s*** out of life. The author has great talent in repeating the same sentences with different words. Message received: love life and attempt tasks from the core with our deepest desires or whatever we do will come off as insincere. This is nothing really new or an undiscovered concept. Deep inside, we all know this. The most disturbing aspect of the book is the advice on dealing with women. According to the author, women are retarded babies and a superior man puts up with everything a terrible a woman does because she has no self control. There is no mention of how to pick a quality woman or how to evaluate women against your morals and values. The book starts off with telling a man to do only what his deepest desire and purpose is. Yet, the author then switches his views to how a man must become a clown, caretaker, and the mcdaddy of the relationship. What if this is not a mans desire? I want to go live my life and achieve my deepest desire but instead I am singing opera to improve my woman's mood. What if I am down? According to the author, the woman will test me to see if I am a man and I should not need praise of a pat on the back. I had no idea, I was a superior robot. Guess what? I like shoving my face in my woman's bosoms from time to time. Praise and reward is not just for feminine energy. Has the author heard of a manager? Research has shown that praise and reward are the best ways to motivate human beings (male and female).

This book is just a wishy washy pointless guide with a few life lessons that you would find in other self help books. I would not recommend buying it. It's a spiritual wannabe PUA guide.

A Superior Man recognized bullsh*t when he reads it. This is it. Good for a laugh if you want to read someone desperately trying to sound wise. "This way dissolves wide open." Yeah, someone who picked up all their wisdom from episodes of Kung Fu. (That was a fantastic show, BTW. When I was 10.)

It's actually got a few bits of decent advice but it's so buried in flowery crap that you probably won't notice.

After reading The Way of the Superior Man, my perpective on women and dating completely changed. It made me see things I never knew were in me, and things I never saw in women before. Once you go through the book, you'll go through it again because there is an immense amount of information. One fact in the book that most guys don't know, 90% of women's emotional problems come from feeling unloved. In the book he'll tell you how to deal with any relationship issue you could have (It isn't typically what you think it is). He also explains the difference between men that become lovers and men that end up in the "just friends" category with women. Truly one of the best books ever on not just becoming a superior man, but a mature man.

I can appreciate all these "be a man" pickup/seduction books and think they all have something to offer but this one takes things way beyond what most books of this genre attempt to do. It's not actually a book about picking up women although going through it and really putting everything said here into place within your life will give you that result. This book is more about being a man on all levels, including spiritually and emotionally.

I actually heard about this book from a female who was completely turned on by the thought of a man acting in the way that the author describes. Once I started making some the changes which the author suggests, I found out she was not the only one.

This book is not for everybody. You have to have a good understanding of personal development and really be willing to look at all the things we, as men, have been taught by various social groups of society, such as our religious institutions, schools, or whomever else. Some of it may be a little shocking. I suggest you try it for yourself to see what your level of comfort is and how it works for you.

This book doesn't teach you how to be a jerk, although I am sure many men take it that way. It's also not an excuse for you to act like a jerk. I think a better explanation of this book would be that it teaches you to own your masculinity, good and bad.

What can I say other than this book remains best treatment of masculine navigation there is. I read it several years ago and it deeply transformed my life. I re-read it again recently and I got a tremendous benefit the second time, too. It is a must-read for both men and women!

David Deida's startling insights are a welcome contrast to the adversity between men and women that we see and hear in the media every day. Deida brings us together as man and woman, revealing the complete folly of all of the elements of our respective genders that pit us against each other. It is not masculinity that is the source of our present social problems, but rather most men's rejection of their true masculinity, as well as our complete lack of understanding about how to deal with our feminine counterpart. I started reading this book over again the minute I finished it the first time. I will probably start it again when I finish it this time! David Deida explained to me numerous things that I did wrong in the marriage that I just left... and things that I now know I am not going to do wrong again.

"The Way of the Superior Man" is an OK book, and probably very good for a younger man looking doing a little soul searching. The chapters are relatively short and too the point, and the writing is clear and direct - like a "Superior Man" would write it, I presume.

However, having been through the wringer a few times in my life, I found the book to lack depth. It actually seemed slightly defensive in tone, which is appropriate in a way because of the "anti-masculine" messaging we're surrounded by, but it wasn't something that wanted to find in a book that is supposed to be about being "Superior", and standing tall. I admit that I struggled to complete it - all too often I would read something and think "Yeah, but..." or "It's not quite that simple..." or occasionally, "I wonder what this guy's wife or girlfriend would say..."

I'm not knocking the book, or its author's take on life. For younger men, its fine. But if you're into your late 30s or beyond, you may find it lacking.

I think many of a man would benefit tremendously from such a book, because it would help us figure out what's a better way to deal with a woman as a woman and not trying to deal with a woman as a man. Of course, it is hard to really distinguish males from females in terms of thinking. I think from what I read the extremely feminine woman that he describes who changes too much with the wind would not be my cup of tea. I've been with one like that, and things are too predictable. I prefer my woman to be more of a straight shooter. She can have her moods, be typical in many ways, but I think I prefer males or females I am dealing with to show consistency rather than simply changing based on feelings. I am a planner, and it is hard to plan if someone changes like the North Texas weather. Many women are not like that, but this is definitely a useful book for us males to respect women for how they and how they are different and to honor those differences while keeping our respect and sanity as males.

I definitely recommend this book. It has helped me become mentally stronger, as well as better understand what is going on in the mind of my girlfriend. I think I am now giving off a better aura of confidence, which she notices (either consciously or subconsciously). I think I have earned more respect from her. The only reason I didn't give this 5 stars is because I didn't understand some of the "mystical" ideas Deida presented in the book (i.e. how beer and music are feminine things). I do tend to like a lot of Taoist ideas, and Deida uses these a lot.

Deida conveys a pure and sensical reflection on the taciturn desires of both men and women. His methodology is truly revelational. His message is centered around the symbiotic relationship of the masculine and feminine essence, which is not obligatorily related to secondary sexual characteristics. The didactic comes when we appreciate the differences amongst ourselves and begin to grow away from the antiquated PC roles that have spawned abusive feminism (not to be confused with feminism as a whole or women's suffrage) and the correlary emasculation. Understanding our differences is critical to helping each other with the most vivacity.

I recieved this book from my Dad on my 22nd birthday and haven't looked back. I've read this book once already and am immediately beginning to read it again. The information is so concise that I feel like I'll need a few more readings to truly grasp and retain the wonderfully laid out gems of knowledge which converge together on a beautiful and useful central theme that will change the way you think about the world. While other books need long chapters to convey the message, Deida truly masters the art of masculine communication, straight and to the point with nothing more or less than the reader needs.

If you have a woman in your life, this book will dramatically improve your understanding and acceptance of her modus operandi. Just the chapters on a man's direction, purpose and consciousness alone are worth getting and reading the book, but it's Deida's expertise on the feminine that hit home for me.

And while most "self-help" books focus on selfish growth, Deida's book is the opposite. The ultimate goal is filling the world with love. To live life to its fullest so others may also fully live. To put your entire energy into your woman only to get even more in return. Get this book and be prepared to grow.

As a woman, I cannot thank the author enough for this book. I got first copy for my husband, but he took it to his office. So, I went back to a bookstore and got another copy, so it can stay at home for him to read. It is a thought provoking book and gives better understanding about male and female as opposites. And this book speaks to a soul and in very gentle way helps to uncover man's secret desires and woman's yearning in love.
If you a woman and want better relationship with your man, by all means buy this book and let him read it. If you man, you will benefit so much from reading this gem.

I have read this book, Enlightened Sex, Collected works Vol's 1&2 and The Teaching Sessions. These works are only for people who are ready to practice this stuff.

If you are not developed enough, you can end up creating a lot of shadow in your psyche. You can split off parts of your personality that you are not ready to transcend. All sorts of psychological problems are waiting for people who try to be something they are not (follow advice outside the developmental psychology framework)

Trying to take on the character traits of highly developed people, without slowly cultivating them for yourself in your own style, leads to inauthenticity and on some occassions mental illness. For example, denial of your own true feelings will lead to repression, which means there will be imature covert expressions of the energy. Owning your own traits and personality, however it is, leads to proper maturation and mature development. This takes time and work, and is not something to be obtained by reading a book.

ps: Read a little confusion here about the overt masculinity expressed in these works. I believe this is mainly symbolic, (Deida suggests that this work is geared toward men and women who have grow BEYOND balance) Sometimes an overtly polarizing expression is good for awakening parts of the psyche that are inactive, or underdeveloped. I dont think Deida's expressions are to be taken that literally.

Even Deida recommends that only a very small percentage of people are ready to practice these kinds of practices

Tread carefully with any self help book that doesnt already resonate with parts of your being.

Although some of the book is written in language a little too touchy-feely for my tastes, there's a significant amount of useful information any man who loves women could profit from. Mr Dieda, I think, has had some very close female friends along w/ lovers - there's a good deal of insight that I feel could only have originated from some very self-aware women. Much of it rings intuitively true - such as the reasoning behind mood changes & saying the opposite of what is intended. These are facets of women which have frustrated me, & no doubt, many millions of other men, our entire lives.

What is left out, and can't be accounted for, are the additional neuroses which complicate, and ultimately doom to failure so many relationships. Mr Dieda's ideal here, is the interchange between two reasonably balanced individuals. Finding that is already a tremendous challenge, but at least, with greater insight, we can have better odds of genuine success with greater understanding.

I tossed this book, in disgust, across the room a number of times. However; I was certain that such a viceral reaction must be coming from somewhere deep.

Deida says what we all DON'T want to hear. Many of us have this romantic notion that we are far more evolved (in terms of the relationship dance) than we really are. I know that I always felt that a great woman would love me all the more for my strength. My mistake was (and Deida points this out very well) in believing that passing all of life's many tests (historically)and being sensitive and emotive about my feelings would be exactly what my woman would want in a strong man. Many women don't want to ever smell a "whiff" of fear on their man.

Men, let your male friends see you sweat and fearful. They too have fears and do not judge or dismiss your strength because of those fears. In reality they think you more the man because you can go into the cave tembling but still slay the dragon. Leave your fears unnoticed to your lady. She doesn't want to see them and the relationship is not better because you have revealed them to her.

Otherwise, a non-ending dance of "test" will develop.

Underneath the belly of this text lays the workings of the most profound Spiritual Truths.

Will you finally commit to to This Truth when lured by the Mastery of Women, Work and Sexual Desire?! Or will you remain consumed with the desire and ambition that glides on the surface of our world... wanting an illusory power, fame and relationship.

Our relationship with women, work and sex are nothing by mundane trappings to an old warn out paradigm... unless infused with our own Inner Realizable Truth and Actualized with our commitment to That Truth.

This is not a cookbook. It is a description of what can be realized with long and dedicated spiritual practice and development. It is a call to Self Realization and Commitment.

Your Root Is you Woman. Your Crown is your Man. Within you. Will you Raise Up your Woman (Chapter..."Ejaculate Up the Spine")? Will you Embody your Manhood (Chapter..."Breath down the Front")?

This book is not about your mundane gratification, but is a challenge to integrity, honor, courage and commitment.

Step Forward Men of Wisdom.

Causeless Joy... Elegance... and Unlimited Possibilities in Presence!

What a delight it is to encounter a combination of two of the worst things in the world: misogyny and New Age spirituality. This is the book that Deepak Chopra would write if he were a raging sexist. Stephen Law wrote a great essay on "Pseudo-profundity" (the art of sounding profound while talking complete tosh). Deida has mastered the art.

The foreward of the book says that this is a book for those who have "already accepted that men and women should be equal in all economic, social, and political spheres", and then proceeds to spend the rest of the book promoting a risible view of men and women that would make such equality impossible.

For instance, did you know that when women complain, the content of the complaints is meaningless? I'm not making that up, it's one of the chapter headings. You see, when she complains, that's just her incoherent feminine energy testing your masculinity. You have to stand tall and get her to make you a sandwich or something. Don't sweat the details, it's not like there's a coherent thought in that pretty little head of hers.

I note from the comments here and elsewhere that lot of the men who love this book are unable to find a mate, since most modern women are "ballbusters" (a term used liberally throughout this book). If you take this book seriously, you'll need a mail-order bride from a submissive culture, as no self-respecting woman born after 1940 would give you the time of day. Good luck guys.

Well, my thoughts are very similar to the other two star reviews: Deida repackages 1950 stereo types with a slight modern spin. It's as if a John Wayne character wrote a self-help book in his later years reflecting back. Much like the other reviewers as well, I think that there are some truths to what he writes (be confident, have purpose, etc.) but there are some other items that just don't resonate for me. In other words this book is really only for certain types of personalities -- maybe type-A personalities. The one thought that kept crossing my mind as I read this book was that the author was not married (or ever was) or had any children. Maybe he has but I couldn't find anything on the internet mentioning this. I'm not saying one has to have been married or had kids to be a superior man, but I think the attitudes in the book are designed for a lifelong bachelor who changes lovers every 2-5 years. I don't get the feeling that Deida would ever sacrifice his goals for the sake of helping a family member for an extended period. It's all about him really. Hence the title of my review. It also didn't surprise me that Deida offers expensive work shops for those who want to learn more about his ways. I get the odd feeling that the book is primarily a time crafted technique to bring in income and not the revolutionary approach it claims.

Wow...In an age where men are encouraged to immasculate themselves by adopting feminine traits and where women view the feminist movement as an obligation to become more manly, this book is a heart-felt and well-thought out overview of what it means to be masculine and how masculinity and femininity compare and contrast. It also is surprisingly spiritual in it's approach to everything: women, life purpose, sex, etc. I find myself looking at the world in different ways and that when approaching everything in the manner suggested in the book I feel a certain rightness, as if I'm finally fitting the triangle into the triangle hole.

As a young man raised by his mother I was astonished to discover how deeply I identified with the ideas put forth in this book, at my core. I realize I had fallen into the same trap that many men of my generation have: that women want men who are polite and don't push, that boldness goes unrewarded, that tenacity is irritating and henceforth undesirable.

One of the things that the book does best is explain woman and her feminine core simply, thoroughly, and most importantly: relate-ably to men. Early in my life I was under the impression that, because men and women are social equals, we are the same. In the last few years of my life, which was the beginning of my sex life, I realized that this is completely and unequivocally untrue, and while I would occasionally obtain tidbits of insight into female psyche, I was left, more than less, in the dark. This book, however, gives a clear and concise explanation of how the feminine polarity operates. Do not take this to mean that you'll be able to understand women, in actuality this book makes it clear that women are unable to be understood on a logical level, which is the level on which men operate.

Suffice it to say that this book was read with eyes wide open and eyebrows shot up from start to finish. More than any other book I have ever read, this book not only opened up parts of me to myself that I had heretofore brushed off as flighty, fantastical, wrong, or simply ignored, but it had me understand, come to terms with, and accept them as fundamental pieces of who I am as a being. It is a very special piece of literature that is able to do that, especially in such clear in simple language, and one of which I have not seen equaled.

David Deida has written an excellent book with great clarity and concision. The book describes the relative positions of the masculine and the feminine and offers practical advice on many issues faced by men in modern American society.

These insights appear to be based on a metaphysical premise and yet are more insightful and accurate than books based on psychology. What is lacking is an explanation of just what metaphysics shaped his beliefs. In other words; we are told "what's what", but not "why". While I doubt seriously that anyone who would read a book on this subject would find the concepts expressed here offensive, it would be interesting to know just where they come from.

If you can read this book with an open mind, you should find it fascinating and informative. If you apply it, you will find that Mr. Deida knows what he is talking about.

This book is mostly accurate and the info is good, but to understand it you have to wade through all the spiritual fru-fru stuff that shrouds the book's message, which becomes quite convoluted as a result.

Better alternatives would be material from David DeAngelo, or for guys just looking for practical info on meeting women, Mystery's book and course. Otherwise, this is a good choice for those who are really into this stuff and want as much info as they can get on it.

This book is written with a depth of insight and wisdom that come from obvious experiential knowledge by the author. Deida has filled a gap in literature with this book. It is a one of a kind, cutting edge book.

As someone who has thought for a long time that I have not lived up to my own masculinity and didn't know where to turn for advice, this book was a wonderful inspiration to become more of a "man". Deida's idea of a man isn't the macho tough guy, nor the soft spoken nice guy who seeks approval. His idea of a man is someone who knows their purpose and pursues it with passion. It is someone who doesn't seek outside validation. He understands his woman and her moods and can stay strong and stable during them, rather than acting defensively. It is someone who is unshakable in his loving, and with his openness, passes his woman's and the world's tests.

This book truly gave me inspiration and insight to move beyond many of my "mama's boy" habits and become a more confident, self-validating man. And because of this it has made an enormous amount of difference in the quality my current relationship and the amount of attraction in it.

Thank you David Deida.
Read this book.

This is the best book on anything close to this subject I have ever read! And ladies- don't just give this to your man, but read it first...I learned so much about myself from what he says to the guys!! All of his books araae amazing (if eve a little redundant in places) so get them all. Oh- one thing, Wild Nights is different- one of my very favorite but if you don't want to read a spiritual version of Arthur Miller-style writing, don't get it. If you can't see thru the graphic sex stuff to the inner lessons you won't appreciate it!

I don't know why I depend on this book when I feel weak, depressed, sad, or passive. I read also when I am in need for inspiration and courage for direction in life and love. I find that I didn't agree with his ideas but in time something he wrote will come to mind and start making sense and feel exactly like he wrote. For example "live as if your father were dead" was one that did not hit home at first. Now that my sick father has confesed that he will not make it for 3 more months, I feel grief and pain, yet a liberation of something profound.

I also find that when I am not following my deepest purpose and not living with integrity, I feel dumb, slow, depressed, and unattractive. When I live with purpose and integrity, I am energetic, alive, happy, and very attractive and charismatic. My experience with every male friend who is not living to his potential, is always, always because of his passiveness, fear of following his purpose, and/or putting women first. It is sad but very true. I recently recommended this book to a friend who's on the gray zone of life. After reading this book, he projected his current life problem's to what David Deida talks about. This book is causing him to wake up and keeps challenging his mind.

The most painful parts are "dont change your mind to please a woman", "she doesnt really want to be number one", and "dont force the femenine to make decisions". The best relationship and time with women were when I was at my peak. Going to college, exercising, working hard, inspired, productive and full of purpose. Women flowed constantly in my direction. They would even ask me out and pay for dinner or any opportunity to be with me. I then met my ex girlfriend who loved me for what I was and who I was being, then suddenly I stopped doing all these things just to be with her and she was becoming distant and unattracted to me. She even mentioned that I didnt have a backbone or direction anymore. I lost my direction and purpose and it all went down. I learned the bad way, and continue to learn everyday from this book. Please give it time, and notice how it all ties with the experiences in your life.

I made it through the first 100 pages and I found nothing useful. It is almost a scam that the author asks money for a book like that.
It is full of platitudes like
- you need to be strong
- you need to have a goal in life
- you should place woman on the first place in your life
- you should do what you like
- don't wait and do it now

There are better books with more differentiated opinions and concrete examples. Don't touch this book.

The books totally lacks any scientific justifications. The author groups people into several categories which are just his interpretation of the world.

I'm 18 and rereading this deer book that i previously read at 17. Like its been said this book is for masculine men. It helps me live from my true essence with confidence seeing beyond the illusion of unnecessary paradigms involving false beliefs caused by conditioning. Definitely a good read for people who want to grow spiritually and be that man that you know you are deep deep down inside as well as being the man who your dream woman will always be in love with.

I had heard excerpts from this book that were really profound and challenging, and I wanted to read the book. I was very disappointed, as this book is full of nonsense. At first I rolled with some of the stuff Deida was saying, thinking perhaps his thinking was just really challenging for me. That ended when I started getting into the sections on what women want. I showed it to my wife, and she was appalled. There is a section that talks about how all men want to rape women, and all women want to be raped. The book states, "the difference between rape and ravishment is love." Seriously? That sounds like something a date rapist would come up with.

A lot of people like this book, though. I can see how impressionable young men might be swayed by some of Deida's arguments, and someone who is really looking for someone to guide them could easily be influenced by what Deida says. Maybe this book has helped some people out. I am surprised that there are some women who really love this book as advice for their men. Maybe the best test of whether or not this book is right for you is to have your wife/partner read it first. If they think it's great, then go for it. If they don't think it's great, well, I'm sure they'll let you know.

If you want to know what a real man is and also how to please your wife by being a real man, read this. If you think you know, you'll only know more! This really helped just understand woman and how our reactions can effect the outcome of any interaction. I considered my self a true man, but after reading this I am only stronger than I was before. This ultimately helped my career, my life and now that I'm married, my marriage! Quick read chapters and for the price or should I say investment in your life, priceless!

This isn't a book about how to meet women or build attract, per se, but for any guy who's interested in learning more about himself and about how women think, this is a good addition to your "pick up" library. Way of the Superior Man is focused on getting you to really examine how you think and treat woman and how your conventional wisdom about what women want and need are sometimes completely wrong.

I've ready this book twice now and many of the major points reminded me of a more recent book titled Secrets of the A Game: How to Meet and Attract Women Anywhere, Anyplace, Anytime, which doesn't go nearly as in-depth as Mr. Deida's book, but instead devotes more to apply these same insights to meeting and attracting women.

I like both books, but I highly recommend Way of the Superior Man because it's so much more important to learn these concepts before you can make much progress with other pick-up material.

I was impressed at the level of honesty by the author. He was very open about his desires and fantasies, and how these can exist in a committed relationship. He really teaches that it is not our dark side that is inappropriate, but how we handle it.
His views on the relationship dynamic were also helpful. The male and female priorities are inherently different, and once we accept these differences, love can actually exist. This theory has helped me in my personal life and relationships.
I would recommend this book to anyone that is willing to be honest about their relationships and sexual life.

A friend recommended this book to me many months ago and I finally got around to getting it...wish I had gotten it sooner. There were several aspects of my life I was not handling as a "Superior Man" which led to a break-up in my relationship. At the time I could not understand what she wasn't getting from me, but now it is all clear. It is a great book with a nice blend of very practical, down-to-earth advice combined with a philosophy that I feel is right on the mark. I've recommended the book to several good friends! It is the kind of book I wished I'd read when I was 18 years old and would have been so much help. Men always complain about not being able to understand women, but this book really helps with that, and it's important to understand, accept, and learn how to deal with the inherent differences and unique gifts each gender has to offer the other. Get this book and you won't be disappointed.

I can't say enough good things about this book. For starters, dissecting and commenting on the individual chapters themselves (there are MANY, and they are short) would take longer than is necessary or useful. The most useful effect this book had on me was that every time I got up to take a break from reading it, I looked at the world around me in a different way.

Chances are if you're reading this review, you know what I mean; it's RARE. The effect doesn't wear off after a few hours, or days, or weeks. If you're willing to drop what you know for a little bit, and let it be completely reinterpreted by a new unifying perspective, then this book will change not only how you look at life, but also how you move through it.

Specifically, I loved the parts of the book that prompted me to re-examine and interpret the tremendous effect of youthful feminine energies in my life, in addition to the sexual, more mature feminine energies I encounter romantically. There is an amazing perspective to be found in this book, and every man should read it.

-Gorilla

This is an excellent book to read. The author explains lot of information about how to be a real man. He has good point view on issue on how woman's like. I have total change my life after reading this book. It a very "POWERFUL" book to read if you want to discover yourself. It's never to late to find out that you are. You need to love yourself if you want someone else to love you. My therapist recommended this book to me. The author is so right about everything in this book. I will be reading this book again and again to remind myself the important of being a man, a Superior man. I 've never written a review before, so this is my first time, but I have to get this book lot of credit for very powerful information and advice he makes...

two main ideas: the masculine and feminine balance in a relationship, and understanding that every man needs to be pursuing purpose and mission in his life or everything suffers. i do know two women that have read it, and they loved it as well. the masculine/feminine balance is about the man being decisive, and "taking care of business." if he slacks, the woman commands more masculine energy, and the guy suffers for it, especially in the bedroom!

A friend of mine gave me a copy of this book after reading it and really buying into what it says. I was skeptical, but am glad he passed it along and encouraged me to read it.

This book is about living life to the fullest-- what it can be, instead of what it usual is. It's about your "mission" and not settling for mediocrity. It's about being willing to change and being willing to stop making excuses for ANYTHING.

Lots of great info on male/female relationship dynamics. Some people won't agree with the author on how he sees this and it will make many uncomfortable, as you can see in the several negative reviews here. I found it helpful though. If you're willing to be open and willing to change, you probably will also.

This book really nailed my relationship with my wife. Practically everything I'd been struggling with was laid out in plain language. Deida explains the cause of the issue between the masculine and feminine and also the remedy in many areas of relating. And I have to say, when I really apply what he is teaching, the results are amazing! At times I had been doing things so far off the mark that my efforts were bringing nothing but resentment. Deida makes interacting with the femine like diving straight into a breaking ocean wave rather than bracing to withstand its force and fury. AMAZINGLY PRACTICAL. I keep reading it over and over and learning more each time. Its refreshing because it is written with the love of a kind therapist and the balls of a drill sergeant. Check it out if you are ready!!!!!!

I am still reading this book and will hate for it to end, as it is very insightful and helpful for me in my relationship. I have read many books that speak to these issues but in mystic, ancient and overly poetic phrases. David cuts to the chase and makes his point to the psyche of the American (but not limited to) male and female. David uses real life situations that we all experience in the life of a relationship. I often find myself pausing and reflecting on the valuable information shared in this book. I highly recommend this book to men who truly love women and want to continuously grow in a new redefined male identity.

I think readers who were disappointed with the book are those who think that this book will help them cope with their partner. Instead, it will help you attract a partner if you haven't.

John Gray's book deals with coping with a partner of opposite sex.
David Deida's book deal with attracting a partner of opposite sex.

Some things in life are just common sense, and needing a book to tell you how to be a man goes against that. I guess if you stopped giving a damn about proper gender roles and complacent in your role in life, a little pick me up is in order. I myself think you should read this, laugh at the absurd stuff, understand the good stuff... but mostly be brave enough to want to change, because that is something no book can teach.

In this day and age of equalness it is is good to see that men and women are allowed to be different and how to deal with this. It is time that we recognise and honour how each can bring their own strengths to a relationship, and in this way creating strong bonds rather than grounds to differ. Deida has created a new way to look at this and to find and apply solutions. Give Him Back His Balls

Firstly, I am a woman!! I read this book out of curisoity and was totally amazed at David Deida's insight into men, as well as women! In fact, I am almost lost for words!! What can I say - beg, borrow, or steal it, do anything to read it! It has helped me to better understand my man and him - me. We already have an wonderful close relationship, and this intimacy between us just deepens the more we understand ourselves, especially as two individual people manifesting very different energies, ie; the masculine and feminine. Learning to appreciate and celebrate these differences is what makes my life so rich and fulfilling. David Deida - you are the greatest!!

David Deida brings no-nonsense fearless wisdom to the many questions and issues that men need to address in order to live from their depth. The text is very readable and the guidance contained therein is communicated with clarity and compassion. Combining this work with active particpation in one of his workshops or intensives is almost certain to bring about a transformative experience. All spiritual men's groups, indeed all men, would benefit from connecting with David's work.

This book sounds like it is based on a very narrow understanding of women. While some parts ring true, i.e. if my love life stinks , nothing feels right, other parts of the book will get men on the wrong track for a woman like me. I find his chapter on the reliability of what women say ridiculous. Though I can get quite emotional, I generally mean what I say and do not do a 180 degree turn five minutes later because my mood changes.
I have read two other books of Deida's. I believe he may have some insight into the male psyche, which makes sense since he has one, but for understanding women or more complex men he falls short.

This book for men is something of an interesting read. I got it for my boyfriend, and he is enjoying it so far. The book is very sexual in nature but not overly so. The author is trying to enlighten men to the art of controlling their sexual desires and creating something meaningful and productive out of them instead of letting them take control. I would recommend this book to any young to older male who wants to learn more about his inner desires and feelings.

I have just completed the first chapter of this book and I must say it has really opened my eyes and slapped me in the face. I've recently came out of a short term relationship, if I had of found this book some months ago I would have still been in the relationship and had a much clearer understanding of how to act and realised where I was going wrong. With every page that I read, so much rings true for me. I was doing the complete opposite of what the author is saying. I recommend this book to any man or woman that is currently in a relationship and for those that aren't.

I bought this book simply because I saw that Ken Wilber thought highly of it and I consider Mr. Wilber one of the great thinkers of our time. However, what I found in this book was enough to put me off of ever wanting to be in another relationship. Mr. Dieda infers that it is the Masculine that is the healer, the gift-giver etc. However what he is also saying is that the Man does all the work: the man stands like the Rock of Gibralter while his woman rants, raves, and emotionally is all over the map. Men have the responsibility to cut thru, withstand, work with, all that the woman dishes out. And what does the woman provide?: energy? vibrancy? Who's in control here? The man? Is this a balanced, sane relationship that is being described? I don't think so. There is a kind of double-think going on here that is akin to "slavery is freedom". Even if you apply the non-gender specific definition of "masculine" and "feminine" so that those in a same-sex relationship may apply the techniques suggested, there is still something strange going on. There are some vaild and usable points that are brought up, but by and large, any deeper understanding of highly-charged words like 'love', 'spirituality'and even 'gifts' is glossed over in favor of vague New Age generalizations. If you are an independent man or woman, you may want to also read "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar. I provides a good counterpoint to Mr. Deida's spiritual/sexual goulash.

This is the 'how-to" book our fathers could never write (God bless them), and the best men's book on relationship I've ever read. Not because it teaches you tricks, or how to please a woman, but because it it shows men how to stand in our masculine power as our true selves, rather than someone who denies themselves to please others. I could never be in the incredible relationship I'm in today without the lessons I've learned from this book, and that includes having clear boundaries where self respect, awareness, integrity and purpose must come first in our lives. We always get the relationship we deserve...this book helps us deserve more. I use this book as a basis for the men's group I'm leading.

I have never felt more understood by a man than by David Deida. My husband is reading this book right now and he loves it as well. Very short chapters, very concise. Funny to be referred to as "your woman"

the book has very nice ideas, however a lot needs to be developed
and maybe the author has done so, by writing other books "the way of the superior lover" "intimate Communion"
which as i beleive makes readers lost, i mean the books supposedly are dealing with the same subject,
why make 3 or books when you can group them into 1 and give the reader the value he is looking for?

This is an interesting treatise on the similarities and differences between the genders. The ideas are presented from a Zen point of view with emphasis on the spirit, mind, and body. I like the practical and "down to earth" approach to the guidance given to the reader.
My thanks to the author, he opened new vistas in my everyday life.

This is definitely a remarkably powerful and thought provoking book. It helps provide further insight and understanding of the masculine and feminine genders, how and why we interact the way we do. If you have ever felt inundated with emotion, misunderstanding and confusion in terms of dealing with your partner, then I recommend to you that you read this book.

Specifically; each individual is different, some manifest greater or lessor masculine/feminine traits regardless of whether they are Female or Male.

For those who are closer to the center of defaul behaviour, this book will help communication up to the point where they evolve beyond their collective limited behaviours or sexual programming, beyond that a more evolved approach should be considered that takes into consideration the evolving sense organs and +/- balances in their personality as a result of their growth.

But all in all a good book to clarify default behaviours and the habits of those personalities that are addressed in the book.

The problem with this book is that it is written in a very vague manner. Many of the concepts are not clearly explained. I felt like I understood what he was saying, but in the end it turned out to be just a feeling. Another problem is that the book is heavy with spiritual mumbo-jumbo... If you can get past those two problems, the book is definitely worth reading. It has some good concepts to share, interesting frames of refference, and ought to influence you positively (assuming you dont read into it too much.)

This should be required reading for both men and women as a pre-relationship(marriage) requirement.

David Deida really gets to the heart and soul of what men and women want. A must reading. I plan to give it to all the men I know as a Xmas present.

For all out there who wants really satisfy thier woman go for it. Some of the suggestions in this book really worked for my husband after he reading this book has been great with me ......Wow

[...]

My understanding of female and male is that these energies are in each human being and must be balanced within for optimum results, whether you are a man or a woman. That readers are "agreeing with" Deida's opinions on women just isn't a great advertisement for this book. It tells me that the book is full of opinions that a lot of people (men, maybe women, too?) hold. There are plenty of popular opinions that don't really contribute to our lives in meaningful ways, though they may feel satisfying for providing a ready-made "answer" when we are faced with something we don't understand or accept. This doesn't get us any closer to moving beyond opinions so that we can allow ourselves and each other to be fully human and alive. Seeking to become "superior" is also cause for inquiry. I recommend a book called Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort. Though this book is a parenting guide, I would venture to say that virtually none of us was parented in a way that encouraged full acceptance of our whole selves, including all our feelings. Naomi's book is a wonderful guide for how to begin the process of acceptance of all of our parts. Rather than reinforcing stereotypes of and opinions about male and female, it describes an inner process that can take us far, possibly where David Deida may be meaning for us to go, beyond the usual traps.

I just could not put this book down.... and I am a woman!!

This book spoke to my soul and uncovered my feminine yearning for a deep love connection. This book explained simply what my soul was searching for in my man.

I now have the language to talk to my partner on a whole new level and the tools to understanding him and myself in a way that I had not known consciously before.

David, thank you from a deep place for saving my love life.

Helen Meader
Author Weight Consciousness: Changing The Beliefs That Prevent Permanent Weight Loss

If I had to describe this book in one word, it would be:

Gross

I found the way he pigeon holed women beyond ridiculous. The male player/douchebag who tries to cloak his manipulative agenda in some sort of "spiritual identity" BS will love this book

At best, this book is the ramblings of a narcissist

I have recommended this book to so many people and most don't get very far. Personally I believe it's so in your face and real that most are perhaps too humiliated, or too challenged to take on the wisdom in Deida's work.

It's so simple and so effective. Simple, but not easy.

Know your purpose, live it fully, feel your edge and lean into it, open your woman to God.

Not for the mediocre man.

I bought this on recommendation from a website. It started off interesting but got boring very quickly. I felt the author wrote like, well, let's just say his writing style is that bad I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to believe his principles but I think he maybe just full of BS. I didn't read it all as I couldn't put up with it.

Well I say, pick up the book, well first find a way of getting it. Then pick it up and read it. It covers many aspect of a Man's life, like searching for completition, interactions with women... and more. I've picked up and my thoughts that are benefitting me. You'll pick things up and concept and thoughts will "click" in your head as you're reading this. So. stop reading my review and get the book. Allright Later.

Ouch! Good to know that Japanese, Chinese, blonde and light skinned women are generally 'cool' and dark skinned women and redheads are 'hot' and mens' 'needs' for temperature vary. Ugh. Great if you want a big healthy dose of unsubstantiated misogyny.

This won't be the worlds longest review, and just may come close to the shortest, however this book is a winner. Why? If you have ever reflected back on a relationship and wondered why things may have been hard or even easy but it just fizzled out, it's likely that it was due to one of the many issues discussed in this book.

Women are amazing creatures, but yes it's true, sometimes you need to read the manual if you want to get the best out of them.

This book is a very essential read for any man trying to find himself, his place in the world or how to make a success of your life. If you are searching for your deepest purpose in life then this is an essential, realistic, thought provoking read. I read this in a day when i got it, i couldn't put it down..... Every man should read this.

the book has very nice ideas, however a lot needs to be developed
and maybe the author has done so, by writing other books "the way of the superior lover" "intimate Communion"
which as i beleive makes readers lost, i mean the books supposedly are dealing with the same subject,
why make 3 or books when you can group them into 1 and give the reader the value he is looking for?

This is an interesting treatise on the similarities and differences between the genders. The ideas are presented from a Zen point of view with emphasis on the spirit, mind, and body. I like the practical and "down to earth" approach to the guidance given to the reader.
My thanks to the author, he opened new vistas in my everyday life.

This is definitely a remarkably powerful and thought provoking book. It helps provide further insight and understanding of the masculine and feminine genders, how and why we interact the way we do. If you have ever felt inundated with emotion, misunderstanding and confusion in terms of dealing with your partner, then I recommend to you that you read this book.

Specifically; each individual is different, some manifest greater or lessor masculine/feminine traits regardless of whether they are Female or Male.

For those who are closer to the center of defaul behaviour, this book will help communication up to the point where they evolve beyond their collective limited behaviours or sexual programming, beyond that a more evolved approach should be considered that takes into consideration the evolving sense organs and +/- balances in their personality as a result of their growth.

But all in all a good book to clarify default behaviours and the habits of those personalities that are addressed in the book.

The problem with this book is that it is written in a very vague manner. Many of the concepts are not clearly explained. I felt like I understood what he was saying, but in the end it turned out to be just a feeling. Another problem is that the book is heavy with spiritual mumbo-jumbo... If you can get past those two problems, the book is definitely worth reading. It has some good concepts to share, interesting frames of refference, and ought to influence you positively (assuming you dont read into it too much.)

This should be required reading for both men and women as a pre-relationship(marriage) requirement.

David Deida really gets to the heart and soul of what men and women want. A must reading. I plan to give it to all the men I know as a Xmas present.

For all out there who wants really satisfy thier woman go for it. Some of the suggestions in this book really worked for my husband after he reading this book has been great with me ......Wow

[...]

My understanding of female and male is that these energies are in each human being and must be balanced within for optimum results, whether you are a man or a woman. That readers are "agreeing with" Deida's opinions on women just isn't a great advertisement for this book. It tells me that the book is full of opinions that a lot of people (men, maybe women, too?) hold. There are plenty of popular opinions that don't really contribute to our lives in meaningful ways, though they may feel satisfying for providing a ready-made "answer" when we are faced with something we don't understand or accept. This doesn't get us any closer to moving beyond opinions so that we can allow ourselves and each other to be fully human and alive. Seeking to become "superior" is also cause for inquiry. I recommend a book called Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort. Though this book is a parenting guide, I would venture to say that virtually none of us was parented in a way that encouraged full acceptance of our whole selves, including all our feelings. Naomi's book is a wonderful guide for how to begin the process of acceptance of all of our parts. Rather than reinforcing stereotypes of and opinions about male and female, it describes an inner process that can take us far, possibly where David Deida may be meaning for us to go, beyond the usual traps.

I just could not put this book down.... and I am a woman!!

This book spoke to my soul and uncovered my feminine yearning for a deep love connection. This book explained simply what my soul was searching for in my man.

I now have the language to talk to my partner on a whole new level and the tools to understanding him and myself in a way that I had not known consciously before.

David, thank you from a deep place for saving my love life.

Helen Meader
Author Weight Consciousness: Changing The Beliefs That Prevent Permanent Weight Loss

If I had to describe this book in one word, it would be:

Gross

I found the way he pigeon holed women beyond ridiculous. The male player/douchebag who tries to cloak his manipulative agenda in some sort of "spiritual identity" BS will love this book

At best, this book is the ramblings of a narcissist

I have recommended this book to so many people and most don't get very far. Personally I believe it's so in your face and real that most are perhaps too humiliated, or too challenged to take on the wisdom in Deida's work.

It's so simple and so effective. Simple, but not easy.

Know your purpose, live it fully, feel your edge and lean into it, open your woman to God.

Not for the mediocre man.

I bought this on recommendation from a website. It started off interesting but got boring very quickly. I felt the author wrote like, well, let's just say his writing style is that bad I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to believe his principles but I think he maybe just full of BS. I didn't read it all as I couldn't put up with it.

Well I say, pick up the book, well first find a way of getting it. Then pick it up and read it. It covers many aspect of a Man's life, like searching for completition, interactions with women... and more. I've picked up and my thoughts that are benefitting me. You'll pick things up and concept and thoughts will "click" in your head as you're reading this. So. stop reading my review and get the book. Allright Later.

Ouch! Good to know that Japanese, Chinese, blonde and light skinned women are generally 'cool' and dark skinned women and redheads are 'hot' and mens' 'needs' for temperature vary. Ugh. Great if you want a big healthy dose of unsubstantiated misogyny.

This won't be the worlds longest review, and just may come close to the shortest, however this book is a winner. Why? If you have ever reflected back on a relationship and wondered why things may have been hard or even easy but it just fizzled out, it's likely that it was due to one of the many issues discussed in this book.

Women are amazing creatures, but yes it's true, sometimes you need to read the manual if you want to get the best out of them.

This book is a very essential read for any man trying to find himself, his place in the world or how to make a success of your life. If you are searching for your deepest purpose in life then this is an essential, realistic, thought provoking read. I read this in a day when i got it, i couldn't put it down..... Every man should read this.

I was hoping with this book to learn more about intimacy and being a man in today's world. But was utterly disappointed. I finished this book in half an hour, mostly because I skipped a large majority of it. I'm not doubting the author in his knowledge, experience, or abilities in helping people but this book is just gibberish. The fact that there is a new chapter every other page just reinforces my feeling that nothing he writes in this book has any purpose. Word diarrhea. Masculine, feminine, handling your woman, blah blah blah. I would recommend that you not waste your money and time on this.

I read Deida's book as a sounding board for my experience as a man and an intimate companion. The insights I have gained have been extremely helpful in promoting balance and truthfulness in my relationships with women, men and the world in general.

Not what I was expecting at all. Very repetitive and the spiritual manner in which the author wrote the book will annoy you. Like other reviewers have said the book tries to explain why women act the way they do (childish and annoying) and how you have to accept it and go along with it. You will hear the word "deepest gift", "love" and genitals SO MANY TIMES you want to choke the author. I still finished the book as I always commit to finishing them, but honestly it was a drag.

Pablam boring and full of fluff. This could have really been about 1/4 as long and been interesting. All it did was give me a headache. I get it, I'm a man, I have a feminine side and women are wackjobs that we have to tolerate while they are in their feminine. (that's kind of what he says). As long as we understand that..and learn to be in our Masculine most of the time, but let our feminine out once and a while, then "We'll all just get along".

Obviously...not the book for me.