With or Without You: A Memoir

Wow, this gal can write! Some paragraphs are so exquisite I had to read them again and again. The only tiny rub for me was there is a bouncing back and forth in time that was a little jarring, like I had to re-grab the narrative thread at times, but boy, there is nothing like the voice of a writer with nothing to lose; they give you everything they have, and Nikki Ruta has a lot. For me, this book makes it difficult not to deeply love the essence of us all; imperfect, damaged and exquisitely innocent. I think I will go to Walmart and hug everyone there. Thanks Nikki. You bring Big Love to us all.

Domenica Ruta is an amazing writer. I took a chance buying this book and ended up underlining dozens of sentences that were so beautifully written, so expressive- not cliques and not used before. She is unlike others in her life-view and that makes this stimulating story worth the investment to buy and read. The story is real, not prettied up, and her descriptions of it are unforgetable. About her dog she writes, "Yeah, dad, she loves goose s***, dead squirrels and you." I've never written a book review before but feel compelled to. Domenica will someday win a Pulitzer prize. She's got what every writer wants. Please write more! I hope you read this Domenica and know that you have unknown fans who found your book truly moving. For me it was the lyric writing- the way you describe even common events with such well chosen words. More than words -the book is a Fabulous read.
Sue from Boston

I found this book fascinating, truthful & well written
.Those who don't care for this type of subject matter can be warned off by the other reviews or the blurb, which clearly indicate what kind of experience she underwent.
The characters were richly complex & layered.
What some people feel is "jumping around too much" feels to me a bit like looking at snapshots from the past. They don't have to be in exact chronological order to tell the story. You may get more detail or insight by looking at things a bit out of order...
I'll be recommending this one to my reading group.

Wonderful writing...wish I heard more about her sobriety though. An amazing story, hard to put the book down. Thank you Dominica, I'm sober 14 years myself, sometimes I look back and realize how blessed I am to have this life!

Nicki is a very complex character...sometimes you admire her and other times you totally dislike her! Growing up with mother Kathi was certainly a challenge! The story can be "dark" at times, yet it really draws you in. A poignant memoir with lots of grit!

The book would have been great, in my opinion, had the timeline followed a straight path. Jumping from adulthood back to childhood kept me somewhat confused. I have recommended it to someone who has been in a similar situation.

It's hard to say something bad when anyone shares their journey. Nikki does well here. There is no jubilant ending or reconciled relationship between mother and daughter. It's just an honest story of an upbringing that many know all too well. At times slow, but always heartfelt. I would still rate Glass Castle as my #1 memoir though.

I would not recommend this book to very many people.it's disjointed, and the character development is difficult to believe. She sums it up at the end when she says her writing teachers said poor people don't talk like that. I wasn't sure what that meant but I think it means she was speaking too well and indeed you many educated phrases and words. But if this is fiction, the characters are not plausible because they are drawn out poorly for the reader.

It seems as though there have been so many memoirs about substance abusing/mentally ill parents being written over the past couple of years. I work with this population, thus I'm always interested in this type of book. This book is one of the better ones....her story is well written and believable. Ruta's description of her mother rings very true down to the dialogue between the two of them. I look forward to more of her work.

I heard an interview with the author of this book on NPR and promptly pulled over and downloaded it- taking me less than 48 hours to then devour the book. The writing was so real - so detailed and intimate - at times I felt sorry for the people in Ms. Ruta's life to be so exposed and laid bare on the page. But this is what artists do best - when they are in the zone and portrayal of raw reality is the most powerful form of self expression. I finished the book feeling satisfied rather than unsettled. I grew up during the same time as the author and could relate with the perspective. This was a wonderful memoir and I would recommend it to anyone who is interested the the subject matter.

Great read. Articulate, poetic, hysterically funny and tragic. The writer has Compassion toward a parent who is frightening and dangerous. The mother-daughter relationship is exquisitely complex and humane.

Ruta 's prose is spare, elegant and heartfelt, but none of the characters are particularly likable. So much dis function festers throughout that a reader feels like a bucking bronco rider who eventually gets thrown off, bruised and battered, not feeling too much empathy for the horse.

An absolute mind blower in the world of memoirs. How this woman survived and rose above and beyond her upbringing is an inspiration in itself. Very entertaining, humorous, disturbing, unique, special . . . . . . and not necessairly in that order!