Book #1) - So Much It Hurts - (So Much It Hurts Series

It was a very heart wrenching story that could happen to any unsuspecting teenager in love who slowly loses control, the analogy of the frog was very true and resonated !
Happy with the ending unfortunately :)

I will suggest at next bi-monthly book club meet. I have already decided what her response to a situation should be as I read about how her emotions pull her in all directions, knowing what she should do is seldom done.
I enjoyed and am moved by this book

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Rating: 5 stars

This reads had my heart hurting with a pain that's left me sobbing. The heavy weight that Kaitlyn had on her shoulders throughout high school tugged at me in a hollowing way that I'll never forget. To feel helpless, trapped, without a voice is lonely and when she found a savior, a safe place that comforted and cared for her just to have it ripped away tore me apart. I'm never one that condones cheating, but Kaitlyn having her time with Chris was perfect in every way with their re-connection, ability to communicate and be open with one another. It was beautiful. Michael, wow his heart is huge and his forgiveness speaks volumes to the type of man he is. This story is with me and I don't think I'll ever forget it. I heard from others how moving it is, so I reluctantly waited until closer to the sequels release to read it to so I could read them one right after the other. Now I'm nervous to start the next, Then There Was You. Melanie has wrote of gut-wretching, painful experiences that unfortunately occur all too often. Having your "someone" to run to is crucial so you don't find unhealthy ways to try to "escape" the pain. Give this a try and join in the "Chris King Crush"!!

LEARY SAYS...

I was so utterly engrossed in this book that it took me a bit to realize and chuckle at similarities to some of my favorite movies. Now, I have talked with others about seeing these similarities and I think they thought I was just a wee bit crazy but any who..I saw it and giggled. Take a little bit of Footloose, 'bad boy' savior from abusive boyfriend. Parents praise boyfriend and warn off from 'bad boy'. Now add in years of pining from The Notebook and some hidden truths by her parents. I loved these movies so clearly this book was set up for me!

I loved spending the majority of the book learning about everything that Kaitlyn had been through during high school and how Chris was there for her when she felt she had no one else. I LOVED Chris and Kaitlyn, he had such a love for her and want to make her world perfect and have her treated the way she should be.

Kaitlyn has found herself in a marriage she has been feeling lost and unappreciated in. She desperately needs a break and finally takes a vacation with her girlfriends. Little did she know that she would run into Chris after not seeing him for nearly a decade. She's vowed to not leave this getaway with any regrets. Whether it's a regret of not taking the chance with Chris or the regret of betraying her husband, you will have to read to find out.

I absolutely loved the story and totally thought I knew what was going to happen. Half way through the book, I had the whole scenario worked out and written in my mind. Disappointment, anger..and a mini temper tantrum was my reaction to the end.

These are the hardest reviews to write. A book that you were addicted to for the first 90% but felt a wee bit disappointed with the ending. Now, don't get me wrong...I totally see why it ended this way but I would feel better about it if the ending was just a little longer. There were a few things I would have enjoyed, a little more conversation between everyone and a few more words said instead of things being quickly wrapped up in a pretty bow. I know..trust me I KNOW there are people who loved this ending, but for me..I just needed more to justify it.

Although I disliked the ending, I still thought it was a fantastic book and would recommend it to others. Just because I wanted one thing doesn't mean that you wouldn't want the other!

So Much It Hurts is a beautifully written book about living life. It's about all the things that happen in life and living through it. Live life is full of pain, regret, fear, mistakes, happiness, and love and we see all of that and more in this book. This is a book about taking a chance to be with someone you have loved your whole life, but they slipped through your fingers because life just got in the way. Would you take that chance and risk the ones you love or would you walk away with more regret. After reading this book, my heart feels absolutely shattered and aching, yet hopeful at the same time.

Kaitlyn has had a pretty good life; that is until high school. She goes through an abusive relationship for most of her high school years. She tries to find the strength to walk away, but just like any abusive relationship, she is always sucked back in. Her self-esteem and guilt with allowing herself to be abused is at an all-time high. It isn't until she meets Chris King, with his kind soulful eyes and bad boy image that she begins to believe in herself again. As the two become better friends and she begins to lean on him, she starts to find strength within herself. Though the two are worlds apart and life tells them that they don't belong together, they fall in love. And life happens... They are ripped apart, severing a part of each of their hearts that only the other will hold forever.

After months of depression, Kaitlyn finally crawls her way out with the help of Michael. He has not only helped during her difficult time, but he became her best friend and love. They eventually married and had a child, Eli. However, like most marriages, time took its toll and the two began to just drift along. It became boring and stagnant while they just went through the motions of daily life. When Kaitlyn insist on a ladies retreat with her friends in order to recharge, she sees Chris again. Not only does she realize that she never forgot him, but she realized that she never really stopped loving him. This is where her crossroads lie. Does she turn her back on Michael and Eli or live with the regret of turning away from Chris again.

It's hard to move on from that ONE love; the person who seems to complete your soul. There are always thoughts of what might have been, even after you've moved on and are living a seemingly perfect life. This book touched me so deeply. It is just a beautiful book about the strength of regret, love, forgiveness, and marriage. I absolutely love this glimpse of marriage and what happens after all the happily ever afters we read about. Marriage and children are work, and while I love reading a happy ending, I often find myself wondering how life works out for the characters in the books after the newness settles and some of the passion dies down. This book shows us the work that goes into maintaining love. You have to work for it. You fight for it. And in the end, if you work, fight, and love enough you are left with something much deeper and more profound.

The author sure picked the perfect title for this book because I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH IT HURTS. What an emotional roller coaster this story took me on. There are so many unique qualites to this style of writing. The time line jumps a bit in the beginning but is done so in a manner that is easy to follow and as you progress in the book it gives the story an extra punch to make you feel the characters. The ending is like nothing I have personally read before. Never have I been torn when deciding if this was a happily ever after or a tragic end. I guess it depends on who your heart was invested in more.

Kaitlyn deserves a happy life after what she endured in high school. She is a strong lady who even in those moments of weakness, has the courage to reach out to Chris for help and strength. She is also a pro of letting go and moving on, even when a part of her heart remains behind. She trust a man who hurts her, she believes the lies and threats he says to her, she reaches out to a real man who wants to help her and she falls in love with another man who wants to be her husband. Sounds complicated doesn't it, well it is.

Once the truth is out about her high school boyfriend she must pick up the pieces and live with the secrets of their relationship, while she sees Chris risk going back to juvie for defending her and keeping her safe. A sad and tearful goodbye, feeling totally out of control over the circumstances she must pick up the pieces and move on with life. In comes Michael who can see the good in her. Finally they marry and have a child but as life happens, the marriage becomes boring and predictable. She decides to take a break and go to the beach with girlfriends. There was no way to know that her high school hero Chris would be the performer at the bar.

Just needing a few more hours together since they never had closure in high school she agrees to meet him and then finds herself in a situation that she must decide if she should respect her vows or give into the need to have no regrets whens she leaves him again. After coming home she finds herself in a situation that forces her to come clean with her husband that she saw Chris at the beach. Now it is at this point the author could of made this a whole lot easier if Michael had just been a jerk, but no he has to surprise us with his response to the truth.

The twist and turns of this story had me going up and down constantly. Although I wanted her to finally find happiness, I had to finally consent to the fact, I had no idea what would make her happy. To see her battle against what her heart was saying about Chris and what it was demanding for Michael and her children, it was impossible for me to be angry at her choice. The ending was epic, priceless and the most heart breaking scene I have ever read. I was left feeling like I was grieving what could of been, what should of been and what I wished for her, but on the other hand I was having to accept she made a wise choice and was once again being true to herself.

I hope you can get the same messages that I recieved in this book, how one choice can change your whole world. How love can overcome years of absence, emotional heart break and a life of complications. That being loved by two men, although it can sound exciting, is stressful and you have to walk a very fine line to make sure there is limited damage done. Most of all I hope you get the message to never give up, never let the depression of the situation dictate what you feel is the best solution at that moment.

I adore this book, if you only get a chance to read a few books a year, this one should be on the top of the list. It is unique, fast paced, spans over years in the characters lives and give such a developed set of characters it is so hard to pick sides. You love them all. Great job Melanie Dawn for being one of the few authors who made me cry, laugh and love all at once.

I've read so many stories about awesome book boyfriends that I forget about the bad ones that are lurking out there. Trevor is definitely one of the worst! In So Much It Hurts, Kaitlyn finds herself being swept off her feet with her first serious boyfriend. What started out as an innocent romance soon escalates into an abusive relationship. Trevor has a temper filled with rage, is demanding and has the school at his mercy. Being a star high school athlete, everyone wants to know him and all the girls want to date him. Sadly, Kaitlyn is blinded by love even if her gut tells her to run for the hills. Her parents worship Trevor right along with everyone else so she is forced to keep her emotions bottled up inside as her self-esteem plummets.

Just when she thinks she is all alone, she meets new student Chris King. Chris runs in a different social circle and based on looks alone is her polar opposite. Everyone in school has decided to judge this book by its cover while Kaitlyn is instead drawn to him. She takes the time to let him into her soul as she begins falling for him. Unfortunately, lady luck is not on her side. The abuse continues and her depression deepens. Chris is the only thing keeping her from ending her existence.

Once Chris is hauled back to juvie, she has no choice but to live alone in her shattered world. Although she is able to find love and live her life, a piece of her always remains with Chris. The years go by and she finds herself making a moral decision she may not be able to live with as her past collides with her present. Will Kaitlyn be able to go on with no regrets and at what cost?

So Much It Hurts will open your eyes to a sad reality of abuse. Our childhood years are supposed to be some of the greatest times in our lives. Most of us get to live carefree and uninhibited. To think one teenager (Trevor) could live with such rage and hate inside of him so early in his life is heart-breaking.

I am amazed this is the debut novel for author Melanie Dawn. I felt like I was reading from a seasoned pro with how well the book flowed and captured my heart. So Much It Hurts can give young girls hope to believe they are worth much more than the abuse they are receiving. I give the author credit for avoiding taking this story in a direction others might have. It would have been easy to have Kaitlyn end her pain. It also may have been easier for Kaitlyn to run to the arms of her savior no matter what the cost. Instead, she was forced to fight and go down a different path. Temptation was all around her and sometimes holding back takes more restraint than giving in. It can be easy to get stuck in the past but Kaitlyn chose to live for the future. Thanks for a wonderful story Melanie!

Melanie Dawn delivers an emotional page-turner in her debut novel So Much it Hurts. It's unique, it's fresh, and it is a welcomed departure from the typical "cookie-cutter" romance.

Kaitlyn Thomas has reached a plateau in her marriage and life. Day after day, she's going through the motions wearing herself thin taking care of her children and doing everything she can to be an exemplary stay-at-home mom. Michael, her husband, feels more like a roommate than the once romantic man who swept her off her feet in high school.

Hiding her pain beneath the surface while putting forth a flawless façade is something Kaitlyn is all too familiar with.

Kaitlyn is incredibly relatable and a heroine I truly rooted for. After a troubled past, Kaitlyn found her happily ever after in Michael, but years of marriage and children have put a strain on their relationship. I think everyone has lulls in their relationships, and I love that I found myself asking

"Does `Happily Ever After' last forever or is it only something temporary?"

The novel follows Kaitlyn's significant relationships she's had in her past and present: Trevor -- her high school boyfriend, Chris -- the wildcard, and Michael -- her high school sweetheart and now husband.

I don't want to reveal too much about the plot, but I will say that Chris was by far my favorite of the three. He was kind yet sexy and his relationship with Kaitlyn was beautifully tragic.

Melanie Dawn really pushed the boundaries with the situations Kaitlyn found herself in. The lines separating what is right and what is wrong are often muddied throughout this story. In turn, I found myself hoping for outcomes I normally wouldn't choose.

I absolutely loved this novel and it's step away from a traditional happily ever after. I was brought to tears, my heart ached, and I felt this book all the way to my soul. If you're looking for a book hangover, So Much it Hurts will deliver one hell of a hangover. Melanie Dawn's book will stay with you long after you reach `The End'.

The first thought that comes to mind after finishing SO MUCH IT HURTS is that it really does hurt. My heart that is. I was pleasantly surprised with this book; I had been in such a book slump and even books that I was enjoying, I just really didn't want to read. But then I picked up SO MUCH IT HURT and literally couldn't put it down. I read it in a day. It was so, so good - I'm a sucker for a book that pulls at me emotionally in every different way.

I'm not going to lie, it was hard to read topic and plot wise. My heart broke for all of the characters involved but mostly for Chris and Kaitlyn. See they fell in love in high school but due to a few different circumstances weren't able to be together. Fast forward eight years when a chance encounter puts them together for a weekend and all those feelings come flooding back. Only Kaitlyn's married and has a son and is now faced with a decision she may or may not regret. I found myself torn between rooting for what was right and for true love.

"Who gets this chance? The chance to revisit the past? The chance to make amends? The chance to reconnect with someone who once had your heart?"

The writing made it a breeze to read though. The author's style is my favorite kind - one with lots of dialogue but not lacking in descriptions; there wasn't a time I was left without feeling some sort of emotion. I finished days ago and I'm still not over it. It will definitely stick with me for some time. It wasn't the typical ending but I appreciated it even if the epilogue left me heartbroken - SO MUCH IT HURTS.

"One of the hardest parts of growing up is realizing that making changes in your life is not as easy as it once was when you could just say, 'I don't want to play this anymore,' and walk away to do something else."

If you're looking for something that will stick with you for days after and stretch you, I'd definitely recommend SO MUCH IT HURTS.

Laters,

Heather

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review to be posted at SMIBookClub.com

LOVED LOVED LOVED this book! This book had me from chapter 1, and kept my attention the whole way through! The story is so well told going back to when Kaitlyn and Chris met, what led to their bond and what caused the eight year seperation. What Kaityn went through as a teen was so realistic to what teens actually face in day to day life; living up to other expectations. Planning so much of their life based on what their parents and peers think should happen.

Chis was a great guy, I absolutely loved him. He was in a way her knight in shining armor. He was the perfect friend who stood up with her and for her through their time together in high school. It absolutely broke my heart that he was sent away for defending her.

I didnt want to like Michael, I wanted so badly for him to have some major fault, that let her to going back to Chris for good... but alas, Michael was a good guy, he was actually a great guy who just lost sight of his priorities. When you're married it is so easy to lose track of what you should be focusing on and you tend to put your marriage on the back burner from time to time.

Melanie Dawn did a great job and writing this book, it was extremely relatable and I absolutely enjoyed the story she told. My only hope is that Chris gets his chance at a happy ending... Please tell me there is abook for him coming soon!!!

I give this book 4.5 stars!

~ Camryn

Loved this story from the beginning to end! Kaitlyn Thomas has it all! She is popular, cheerleader and a girlfriend to the hottest guy in school who happens to be a Football player. Well so people think she has it all, Kaitlyn is keeping a huge secret. Chris is a bad boy! He is transfer to another school after serving time in a juvenile detention center. This is where he meets Kaitlyn! From the beginning they have had this connection to each other that they can’t hide from. Kaitlyn has tried countless times to leave her boyfriend and does at one point but then goes right back to him. Something happens and Chris is sent back to the juvenile detention facility not talking to Kaitlyn again until 8 years later.

8 Years later Kaitlyn is married with a son! She needs a break and decided to take a weekend trip with her girlfriends to the beach! Her world is turned upside down when she runs into Chris! After all these year do they still have feeling for each other? Will Kaitlyn split up for family to be with Chris the man she fell in love with in High school or will Kaitlyn have weekend filled with no regrets?

I have mixed reviews about this book. Although, I liked the story, I was actually hoping her and Chris would end up together. I think if they felt that strongly about one another that some way or how they would have ended up with one another, especially if she did, indeed, have his child. I understand that she was married and wanted to keep her family together, but it just felt like she had settled, and didn't love her husband as much as she did Chris. I think in the end it even stated that although her husband had taken more time for "family" it basically was still the same life she was living before. I would have even been happy with a continuation of this story to where they eventually found their way to each other again - third times the charm as they say - but seeing as the 2nd in this series is about Chris moving on with someone else... I guess that won't be happening.

This book pulled me in instantly! I loved ever moment of it. I loved Chris King hard and hated the other douchebag. The part I loved most about this book is that we all can find ourselves in a state of contentment in our own personal marriages. When you are in that point in life and are smacked with a blast from the past, how do you react? No one can possibly answer that until it happens to them. This book is about life and all it's obstacles. No one is perfect, but it's how you deal with shit that defines you. I give Melanie mad props for writing this story the way her heart lead her to do. She didn't stray because of the shit she will get...and there will be shit talkers. Some people tend to run away from books that deal with real life circumstances...not all books are flipping fairytales and not all books should end with the typical HEA. Hello, that does get boring... I loved the writing style in this book and the way she describes everything was amazing to me. Yes, I read this book before it came out, but my review is not partial to that. I will never write a fake review. And the fact that I spent the whole day after talking to Melanie about the emotions this book stirred up for me is enough to prove my love for it. I still find myself thinking about it. You will love this book so much it hurts!!

This debut novel by author Melanie Dawn can resonate with so many women. Love, fate, choices, healing are all packed into this book and so much more.
Kaitlyn is a married woman that while on a girl’s getaway comes face to face with her past and the choices that she made that lead her to this point.
Throughout this story the reader is able to experience Kaitlyn’s past and the pain she suffered in silence. This book reminded me that you can never know someone’s story just by looking at them and you should never assume to know what a person might be going through. This was a story of hurt, hope and was written with a solid, emotional punch. Give this a try! 4.0 Stars

Wow what great characters. Kaitlyn's first boyfriend wasn't what she thought he was and when he shows his true colors that's when Chris King came into her life and saved her. When life gets in the way they go their separate ways but when he shows back up in her life she cant help but think of what might have been or what could be. Chris has a different life now but he never forgot Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn has a family now, a husband she loves very much and she cant just walk away or can she? this is a emotional story about life from high school until adulthood and what happens with life and love. I enjoyed this story 4 stars.

Reviewed by upallnightreadallday.blogspot.com

So much it hurts is an emotionally gripping story of love, loss, redemption and hope! Melanie Dawn has done a wonderful job with her debut novel. My emotions were all of the place with this one. Kaitlyn's story will touch you and rip your heart out. You will be taken on a journey when her past collides with the present. She will battle with temptation and wonder if she has made the right choices. I don't want to say to much because I don't want to give anything away! You need to pick this one up and enjoy it for yourself. I loved every minute of it and look forward to more books from Melanie Dawn because she is truly talented

I just finished reading "So Much It Hurts" and am left a little hollow, a little empty--in a good way. This is a story of true first love, of forgiveness, and redemption. It's sad, heartbreaking and uplifting. My heart physically hurt for Kaitlyn, for the choices she had to make, for the choices she DID make, and for the healing that had to take place. I wanted to nut punch Trevor, and I found a little piece of my heart belongs to Chris King.

What a flipping fantastic book !!! I can not tell you what this book did to me ! My emotions were all over the place. I laughed , cried, wanted to kill people (ok so just one person in particular ), and I swooned oh did I swoon ! This should be on everyone's Must Read List !! This is the type of story that will keep you up at night because you ..just..can't ...put.. it....down !!!! The story is about love, life, growing up, unexpected journeys (sometimes not always the kind you want ) and making the best decisions for yourself when your heart and head can't seem to get on the same page. This is an awesome book that everyone should read and the one you will be kicking yourself for when you do read it for not reading it sooner !!

I loved this book. It was real life situations. The things you do for the people you love. Have your tissues ready I cried several times you get angry, then happy, you feel sorry, and then you fall in love with two people for completely different reasons. It would be hard to love someone so much it hurts to walk away because it's the noble thing to do and not be selfish. Love is beautiful but sometime it just hurts!!!!

As a frequent indulger in escapist romance novels, I was in for a pleasant surprise with Melanie Dawn's first book. It defies the typical formula and raises awareness of important issues while captivating the reader. Anyone who survived high school can relate to Kaitlyn's character, and the struggles she lives through make the reader sympathetic when Chris re-enters her life years later. Dawn accurately portrays the challenges of marriage and parenthood and the power of first love. There were surprises throughout the book, and despite one's own moral compass, at the end of the book you feel at peace and that the ending was perfect. A must read!

Trevor, popular, handsome, sporty and Kaitlyn's boyfriend. Everyone wishes they were Kaitlyn, if they only knew. Sometimes it takes a perfect stranger to see things and help you break through your "perfect" life. The journey and friendship of Kaitlyn and Chris will tug at your heart and bring a tear to your eye. Will the journey end before it has begun?

Melanie Dawn did a great job with her debut novel, So Much It Hurts. Packed with riveting emotions, this story unfolds between past and present, unraveling a plot full of intense raw emotions surrounded around neglect, abuse, rape, adultery, and angst. And, in the process of self discovery, learning that sometimes in life, regardless of the decisions, there are consequences. Sometimes, it just very well may be enough to love someone so much it hurts.