And Life Together, Friendship, The Truth About Sex

This book asks the questions we all have but either haven't thought to ask or are afraid to ask and helps answer these questions with Gods word. It will probably make you uncomfortable at times but will no doubt make you think about why we do what we do and should we be doing what we do. Single or married, this book helps bring into focus what our purpose for living is and who we are glorifying.

"Real Marriage" is...hit and miss. It starts out strong, with some blunt and honest history...the focus and "friendship" is inspired and unique. Still, towards the end it devolves into something I can't quite put my finger on; it almost wants to be a Christian sex manual, but is so uncomfortable with the role that it makes the reader, uncomfortable.

My husband and I do premarital counseling as well as marriage counseling. We have read many marriage books. I appreciate the Driscoll's frank and direct language in this book. Due to our media and oversexed society many people have a great misunderstanding of marriage and sex. People come into marriage with so many misconceptions and it sets the stage for the battle of the sexes.
Real Marriage tackles sex as "GOD, GROSS, or GIFT". After explaining sex as a gift the authors tackle the sometimes difficult questions "Can we ______" frankly and honestly and with scripture. I appreciate chapter 10 because this is where most Christian marriage books lack depth and are just not 'real'.

Also, Real Marriage, takes an in depth look at friendship and the importance of friendship in marriage. The chapter on Respect from Grace Driscoll is solid and useful. She gives examples/methods of heads, hearts and hands of respect. Mark Driscoll tackles the topic of 'being a real man' well. He discusses what a Godly man should aspire to be/do and how to honor his wife. These two chapters will be very helpful to hurting couples.
Birth control is also addressed. The potentially abortive birth control, "the Pill" is explained and is not encouraged. I appreciate the authors discussing this issue.

Overall, this marriage book is 'REAL'. It is honest, offers practical advice, and gives encouragement and hope with the power of scripture.

This is pretty good, has some good information.
I am 60 and planning to get married again.
Lots of information is for those young married people.
I enjoyed this book mostly, but got bored after awhile.
Mayby I just have too many Old lady issues that I need to see an actual councelor for. That is what I am doing.

First of all, I have followed Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace for a few years by listening to his sermons at Mars Hill and also by reading some of his previous works - Death by Love, in particular. I find this book to be what I've come to expect from Mark - blunt, sometimes painfully honest but also scripture based and most of the time, something we (I) needed to hear. I received this ebook edition from NetGalley and have not been paid for my review. My husband and I are reading each chapter together and we have both found that it has helped us to discuss some things in our marriage that have been beneficial. Be warned, Real Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It is brutally honest and not a sweet little book on marriage. It's not the only book I would read on Christian marriage - I highly recommend Gary Thomas's Sacred Marriage - but it's certainly one that should be in the mix.

real marriage is a great book, i already loved pastor mark and grace driscoll but this book made me see them in a different light. i absolutely love their honesty about their marriage and Biblical truths. My husband and i have been married for 3 years and have 1 baby, this book is relative to us even if we havent been married for a super long time yet. The day after we finished the first chapter we felt better about our marriage because not only did we read it together but we also talked about what we read and what we learned from each chapter.. thanks pastor mark and grace!

Like the title says, I haven't quite finished the book, but I'm really, really enjoying it so far. Mark and Grace exhibit a rare level of authenticity and honesty in the first several chapters of the book. I feel like my wife and I have a fantastic marriage, but this book has shown itself to be a great conversation piece in the context of our already successful marriage. I expect to continue to enjoy the remainder of the book and would highly recommend it to anyone.

This book covers all of the questions you may have as a single brother/sister, in a relationship, or already married. My wife and I enjoyed reading this book together and finally have a book we can recommend to others who have a lot of questions about marriage. It covers topics other books wouldn't go near and brings up an integral part of marriage other books somehow don't: friendship. Buy it!

Real Marriage is a genuine and helpful resource for the church in our generation. The most helpful part of the book regards the role and responsibility of men and women in marriage. It is both a shoulder-to-shoulder and face-to-face relationship, the husband taking the lead to love and the wife joyfully responding. This friendship is meant to point to the reality of Christ, and I believe that this book will help many couples image the Christ/Church mystery in its magnificence.

Having entered married life, a new city and a new church all at once, I was hardly prepared by our prior premarital counseling process for the most important human relationship in my life. By God's grace and providence we began our marriage hearing Pastor Driscoll's teaching in his Song of Solomon series. I've now heard and read many times over the same content that this book provides over the past few years, and it has all proved nurturing to my soul and to our marriage.

Yes, there will be some tension with the book regarding chapter 10. However, our culture is hyper-sensual and needs to be informed about godly sexual ethics driven by biblical principle, rather than letting the issue go and hoping that our pews simply remain sexually innocent. One of the most insightful portions of the book is chapter 8, where we get a clearer picture of the sinful and biological drives toward porn and everything related. As human beings it takes time and spiritual war to bury that ugly path in our minds and create a new, wholesome, joyful and satisfying path with our spouse.

If you're looking for a theological treatise on marriage, go to Piper's "This Momentary Marriage", Keller's "The Meaning of Marriage" and to Kostenberger's "God, Marriage, and Family." Those books will also provide practicality of course, but if you're looking to get into the practical and genuine nature of the marriage relationship (which I think all married folk should), read this book. Pastor Driscoll has a gift by the Spirit of making the practical implications of God's word clear, vibrant and powerful. We, both Christians and unbelievers, would be fools not to listen.

I think the Driscolls offer an honest look at marriage here. There is truly helpful information in this book. There is some brutal but necessary truth-telling. Some of it feels added for shock value, but not to the point of ruining the book. In that vein, it's typical Driscoll. I would recommend this book to couples at any stage, pre and during. I hope God uses this in lots of marriages!

Want to know what a Runaway nun and an Augustinian Monk have in common? Then you need to read this book.

Pastor Mark and his wife Grace share from a humble and honest position that Jesus, Grace and Friendship are the key to marriage. My wife and I are reading the book and have already had conversations that have grown our marriage and friendship. Thank you Mark and Grace. Highly recommended Read for the married, planning to get married and might someday get married.

Others have written extensively and rather detailed concerning the content, I will not do that here.

What I will say is that this book is a great discussion starter! As a Pastor who has taken many young couples through pre-marital counseling, this book just doesn't break the ice, it shatters it.

I would recommend this book to any adult, especially those who are married. It opens up discussion for husbands and wives who suffered sexual abuse as children (hope for healing), reminders of how we are really to treat one another, etc.

For engaged couples I would go through this book with your Pastor or counselor. Someone who has read or is reading the book alongside you and your fiance'. I think for engaged couples this is very important as this book can be very "charged". The couple I am currently counseling picked it up and the young man skipped right to "Can we _______?", while the young woman was methodically reading it through. A pre-marriage counselor can help keep them on track.

Sex is only a part of the overall equation of marriage and despite all the "Can we..." stuff, traditional intercourse is still the icing but not the whole cake of marriage, while "can we" is just the little decorations placed on the icing. May look good but is not necessary. I did like the lawful, helpful, enslaving. I did not totally agree with all of the book's conclusions in this area and maybe it is more how and where information and scripture was placed.

I appreciated the vulnerability and honesty of Mark and Grace. I really enjoyed the chapters 2 (Friendship), 3 (Men), and 4 (Women)... not any really new revelations to me. I have often preached, counseled, shared, and practiced many of the same root principles that are explained and illustrated there. In the context of the book they are presented in a fresh, bold, in your face fashion that many 20 and 30 somethings really appreciate. As a 40 something who ministers to them I found it very helpful.

Overall, I enjoyed the book and look forward to my wife reading it and will hopefully add her comments and more of mine as I continue to mull over it's content.

I will leave you with a running joke that I share with the youth of our church on a regular basis, "There is nothing like 24 years married sex! It just get's better every year... I can't wait until I can say there is nothing better than 25 years married sex!" It's goes from a collective groan to screaming TMI! As the happily married adults in our churches we need to model not just happy marriages but physically happy marriages for the next generation. Hopefully I haven't embarrassed my kid's to much with this review!

I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the lack of grace in some of these reviews by those who claim to be Christians is frankly disgusting. I found the book to be very helpful, I hope others do too. I love that with Driscol's books i know so much of the profit goes to the spreading of the Gospel, so i had no problem paying for it. Having lived most of the Driscol's story in my own way I think the most powerful thing they did was show that Christian leaders are normal people who need the grace of Jesus to cover their lives just like everyone else. Some say the book is not enough about Jesus. Although the book points to Jesus, it is about marriage not Jesus, if you are looking for a book about Jesus go read "Vintage Jesus." Clearly the book is doing more good than harm as it has a 4 star review, and even if you don't agree this should not be an issue of division.

I love reading marriage books, especially those from a biblical standpoint. However, I really had to push myself to read this book. Some of the info was helpful, most not. Seems pretty one-sided, basically what a woman needs to do to satisfy her man. Don't get me wrong I fully believe in biblical submission but this is too one sided for me. Not to mention it just wasn't interesting to read. There are much better biblical marriage books on the market.

Great book from Mark and Grace. As a young, single Christian man I appreciate the honesty and intense work that the Driscolls have put into this book. The book was a great help to me even though I am neither married nor dating currently. This book is not simply for those who are married or about to get married. It is a great piece to read whether you are married or not. This book further proves to me the love that Mark and Grace have for other believers and the desire they have to see fellow believers succeed in bringing glory to God in their marriages. You will not be disappointed if you read this with an open mind.

I agree with other criticisms stated here. The only thing I will add to them is that at the end I felt real sadness for women married to the type of man this book recommends Christian husbands become. The subtitle claiming this book holds "the truth" should have been warning enough. I really do appreciate the heart and the difficult level of honesty the Driscolls approached this project with, but I just can't recommend it in good faith.

Like another reviewer, I had previously read Rosenau's "Celebration of Sex" before purchasing this book and the Driscolls' book absolutely paled in comparison. After I was finished I told my husband to pass on it and I got it out of my house.

I enjoy his sermons and material, but upon reading this book I see 1). A book written more from a mans view. I don't think his wife would say" it's good to give your husband oral sex as a gift much appreciated". Comments like this run through out the book and seem to indicate his wife was put more on the cover as a means of credibility and not her view. 2). Also, I don't agree that anal sex is endorsed by the Bible. As a man myself, I know we can incline a certain way to sexual experimenting. Finally, I believe this book puts an unhealthy pressure on women to be a certain way, or perform certain acts because " the bible does not condemn them"- so overall, I not for the book. It has good points, but looking at the purpose it was written for, I feel it does more harm than good.

Is this book perfect? No. Is Mark Driscoll perfect? No. But read the book on it's own merits, not through the lenses of what you think of Driscoll, and you'll find an honest, heart-felt plea for people to wake up in their marriage and strive to become best friends by the power of Jesus Christ. This book covers topics that many Christians are desperate to know the answers to but are too afraid to ask, and I commend Mark and Grace for having the courage to stand up in front of the firing squad and give the answers people are looking for instead of taking the cowardly route and skirting the issue. I think the Driscolls' emphasis on marital friendship is fantastic, and it's always refreshing to have someone encourage married people to focus more on becoming a better spouse than desiring a better spouse.

Weather you are struggling or strong in your marriage, this book will have an impact on your marriage. It gets straight to the heart of the matter and avoids wasting your valuable time. Works best when read by a husband and wife.

Well, I just finished my copy of Real Marriage. I'm currently courting my future wife and am looking forward to being married within the year! I very much enjoyed the book for its practical knowledge. I'm really glad that they did a chapter on friendship. I think that was my favorite chapter out of all of them. I think if most couples can get that one part right, the rest will come quite easily. If your looking for something that will help change your perspective or looking for something to help improve your marriage you should read this book. I know this is going to help me with my own.

This book is amazing. I couldn't believe how honest Mark and Grace are especially in the first chapter. This book has helped me and my wife become more trusting and open with each other. Also we are now focusing more on becoming best friends. This book is a great help for marriages especially for new marriages like mine and we are not as confused on how to build a foundation of a lifetime marriage. I appreciate all of the honesty in this book and the practical advice that can be used in any marriage, even if you think your marriage is great.

Don't download the Kindle version unless you also buy the non-Kindle version. Found out the hard way that this is a DVD study.

Completely useless without the DVD that comes with the non-Kindle version.

Thanks for the heads-up, the store!

This book and sermon series has greatly helped me and my fiance. Being engaged for just over a few months we began reading this book together and it has been a tremendous help!! From confessing our past sins to giving us comfort about our future marriage as friends (we are both from a divided house hold) God has truely given us a peace about the future and that there is no fear in love, and that with Him we can have a successful marriage and not be another statistic!! I thank God for Pastor Mark and Grace for their honesty and transparency! It truely shows their heart in wanting to help fellow believers live the life that God wants them to live!!

Having pastored for over 30 years, it is about time that a recognized pastor/author was honest with the topic of sex. I've worked in the restoration process, some too late and some in time, with pastors and spouses who struggled with sexual issues in what seemed like a battle with church and their upbringing. Sex is a wonderful gift of God to be celebrated and enjoyed in marriage. when we see it from God's perspective and choose not to use as a weapon or selfishly, it is a foundational stone in marriage. I applaud Mark and his wife on an honest and what I believe to be a Biblical response to sex as a Christian (or not!).

As a 30 something single, who's never been married but wants to be some day, I've begun to realize that my perspective of marriage and sex has been molded more by the American culture I grew up in than anything else. When so many marriages are failing (or just miserable) around me, I have begun searching for a different perspective that's more positive and healthy. This book, in my opinion, is a helpful resource in that direction. It's real life stuff, talking about sex in an open, positive way, and highlights friendship as a key in marriage. Even as a person hoping to be married eventually, this book is helpful is setting realistic expectations about marriage and has given me clues about what to look for in a future spouse. Overall, the book brought me another step ahead in the shift away from my cultural perspective on marriage toward a spiritual perspective that has more promise of working out and being enjoyable.

Mark & Grace Driscoll have met Biblical truth with relevant communication in an excellent resource for any marriage. I've not met a couple who couldn't benefit from reading this book! A MUST read for clients in my practice!

In a world where divorce is becoming the norm, Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife, Grace, shed some light on what it means to be in a loving marriage. This book crosses the tough boundaries that may cause people to blush, but they are critical nonetheless. It also takes a look into things like friendship that aren't normally discussed in books about relationships.

There is a lot of practical advice, including questions you can ask your spouse to get to know them better and practical dating tips. As a 22 year old engaged man, my fiancé and I are putting these things into practice. Mark and Grace are not ashamed to admit that there can be hurts that need to be healed in order for the marriage to thrive. I personally have found this book difficult and extremely convicting, but my fiancé I firmly believe we will become closer for it as time passes.

It doesn't matter what age you are or if you're single, in a relationship, engaged or married. Read this book! I will definitely be recommending it to all my friends.

While many will disagree with Driscoll regarding his complementarian stance, this book is a great resource for those desiring an honest look at marriage.

I love the emphasis placed on friendship in marriage. It reminded my wife and me that we got married because we like each other! This focus makes this resource a must own and a must recommend for all future marriage counseling that I might do.

Check this book out! You will glean insight from this, I guarantee, regardless of your current marital status!

This book is well worth reading. While it does not have the depth I would like in some areas, it open fresh, honest approach to the whole topic is very refreshing. It is a book that brings honestly about many sexual topics and does not soften the words of what sin is and what is not sin between a husband and a wife. Our culture seems to shade what is truth away from what is honest and many have been tricked into mistakes. This book openly discusses and declares truth, right and wrong. The transparency of Mark and Grace is almost shocking but at the same time refreshing. I would recommend all who are married to use this book as a good refresher about the gracious gift of God in Marriage.

Great book for anyone who wishes to build/strengthen their relationship. Mark & Grace are open and honest about their lives, and the truth from the bible on various topics concerning relationships.

This book is great! My boyfriend and I are looking into getting engaged and I thought It best to prepare myself early and as much as I could where marriage is concerned. This book speaks of the great importance of FRIENDSHIP in a marriage. This book opened my eyes to how selfish I am (for real) and describes best ways of how to deal with bumps in the road and bruises from the past. I will reread this throughout my whole marriage because It contains so much great information I'm sure to learn something new each time I read it! Thank you Mark and Grace!

I thought the book was well written and that they covered tough topics with tact and Biblical background. I haven't finished the book yet, but I definitely want my husband to read it so that we can discuss it together.