Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense - and Volatile Relationship

My late partners mother is the textbook case of this disorder. The mood swings, controlling behavior, and out of control madness were very difficult for us to handle. We bought this book and couldn't put it down; even though it was very long we must have read it within a day or two. It was so validating for both of us to know that we were not doing anything to cause her horrendous behavior, and in that sense we couldn't control it, we could only do our best to set up boundaries and give her as little power as possible. I think anyone dealing with a parent with this illness should get this book immediately.

My recent diagnosis of BPD added a whole new section to my personal library as I researched, and tried to understand this disorder. If I had it to do all over again I would just buy this one book.
I purchased this book for my daughter and in reading it myself, found a clear, understandable. comprehensive resource for myself.
It is written in such a way as to be easily readable. In doing so it comes through as forthright, non judgemental and full of the information I was so desperately seeking.
This is a great book for anyone involved with BPD, in any way.

This book has surely helped me to understand my birderline mother.I had never heard this description of my mother who is 91 and fits so much of the wording. I will share this with many friends. Thank you.

As the son of a borderline witch I have struggled all my life to understand one question: why me? This book finally gave me a structure to understand what happened. That is leading me, painfully, to the light.

The book is rich with characters described in enough detail that we can recognize them as being real parts of our lives. Anyone who is related to a borderline person, as well as those who see these characteristics in acquaintances , will feel validated in their belief that something really is awry in the parent or friend's parent. The book is also filled with helpful advice on how we may best manage ourselves in the borderlands.

This book is well written and useful. The cases presented are riveting and extreme. As a counselor that works with children of borderline parents, I would caution that readers may feel that their own experiences with damaging borderline parents are so much less dramatic, that they shouldn't be considered wounding. This is not so. It is vital to remember that these extreme examples are not the only examples of the damage caused by borderline process in a parent child relationship. Many people have less dramatic examples and still experience damage to their ability to develop trust and closeness, safety and boundaries, with others.

I found the book to be very readable. Christine Lawson was able to make some pretty complicated clinical material clear to the layman via case studies and useful allegories. Any child who has a mother diagnosed with this condition will find the material in this book not only validating to one's experiences, but also helpful in the forgiving/understanding process.

This is a great read. Helps one understand the illness and its effects on the family. It is very validating and eye opening for those who have lived with a Borderline parent. This mental illness is so hard to recognize for the casual friends of the borderline, and can make the children of the borderline think they are crazy. I highly recommend this book.

A book that provides a complete understanding of the mind of a borderline mother with real life stories told by their kids, which also helps to understand not only the pain the kids go through, but how does the mind of the sick person operate.

This book was a page turner for someone like myself. It was right on the money with how it is to grow up with a BPD mother. In a sad way it's good to know their are other grown children out there with the same experiences. Many of us do get ahead of it and survive to live quite calm and wonderfully normal lives with loving families! I found it interesting to put vocabulary to the many trademark behaviors of my mother that I had identified over the years, but just didn't have a word to use for it. If you believe your childhood was scarred by life with a BPD parent, treat yourself to this very informational book.

This book opened my eyes to my own family dynamics and has greatly assisted my clients whose families fit within the described profiles. I understand there will be scepticism to any author's opinion about mental illness. I can only say that in 15 years of therapeutic practice, I have never come upon a book which so clearly described where I came from.

I have had so many aha moments reading this book. It is a book of grace. Not blaming but really providing a framework to understand the lineage of borderline personalities and to some degree or another make the statement real: “The buck stops here”. Thank you.

Hugely helpful. Answered alot of questions I had about Mom. Also gave really clear directions about how to handle Mom's rages and outbursts, and how to clearly state acceptable/unacceptable behavior. Hugely helpful.

A wonderful book, beautifully written and extremely readable. Lawson's fairy tale framework, in which she discusses the different Borderline mothers, works well and gives this unusual self-help book a poetic quality. The case studies are sensitive and compelling. This book is an absolute must-read for those who grew up with a mother suffering from BPD.

Understanding the Borderline Mother is a great therapeutic resource for counselors and other soul-care providers to use with adult children of women who suffer with borderline personality disorder (BPD). The book is easy to read, gives accessible definitions of BPD, and links styles of relating of borderline mothers with classic fairy-tale archetypes. It's a great book for helping individuals put words to their experience growing up in the chaos of a borderline household. I would have rated it even higher except that the cost is a bit daunting. But I think it's one of the best resources available for translating clinical information into understandable, impactful language for a lay audience. The only reason I didn't give this book 5 stars is price -- it's pricey compared to other lay-oriented texts on the topic.

If you had an unpredictable, mother or feel uncertain of your own mothering skills this book will shed light on so many dark spots. I like the style of writing and had many aha moments that explained so much of my own childhood. We are never too old to heal, this book, especially discussed with someone who also suffered childhood trauma is a very useful tool toward self integration.

This book was very informative. It describes four profiles of borderline mothers and how their behaviors can impact their children. It provides suggestions for how children can deal with their mothers and try to have the best possible relationship and stay healthy.

The is the most comprehensive book I have ever read on the subject of borderline personalities. Easy to understand and provides a wealth of knowledge in answering questions as to why some people act the way they do.

I cannot begin to express from a personal level the impact this book had on me as a child of a mother with BPD. I have read countless books on BPD but this one really nailed it on the head.

In addition, as a therapist, this proves an incredibly useful tool for clinicians trying to understand the often complex PTSD client of BPD mothers.

This book has been criticised for stereotyping, but I found the narrative approach really helpful. This is not a psychiatric treatise: its a readable book aimed at adult children who have lived this experience. Those of us who have lived this experience will instantly recognise the truth in the writer's archetypes and will respond to its practical suggestions. I would highly recommend this book to any adult child of a borderline or suspected borderline mother.

Extremely helpful book for adult children of Borderline Personality Mothers. (Even if the mother still won't admit her BPD.) The chapters are presented so that you can read what you need, when you need it. You can always go back and read earlier chapters later.

The is a superb book on the subject of Borderline Personality Disorder. The author captures the essence and nuances of this very complex disorder in clear, descriptive language. This book is unmatched by any other writer or expert on the subject.

I've never found a book that approached this problem in such an insightful way. I not only saw the relationship with my mother, but my relationship with my daughter (myself as the mother), and my daughter's relationship with her own children. It has given me a great deal of self understanding. It is an extremely helpful book!!