Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry - Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition

If so, I strongly recommend Wayne Dyer's classic: PULLING YOUR OWN STRINGS. It gives immediate solutions to the scenarios created by all of the major "vampire" personality types -- without a discourse into why they're the way they are. Dyer's book gets straight to the point!Pulling Your Own Strings: Dynamic Techniques for Dealing with Other People and Living Your Life as You Choose

This book has been extremely helpful for me to be able to function within a dis functional work environment. I have been able to keep my job and maintain my emotional health because I have followed the suggestions that emotional vampires have given me. This has enabled me to navigate around people with personality disorders.. The book gives detailed and easy to follow instructions to get what you need to accomplish when dealing with difficult people. I highly recommend this book to those unfortunate folks who have no choice but to be exposed to those with emotional issues on daily basis.

Although this book is written in a catchy style and seems to hold a lot of truths, it's directed primarily at yuppie and corporate types.
So I was pretty disappointed. But it moves right along and is fun to read, otherwise.

Although this book is written in a catchy style and seems to hold a lot of truths, it's directed primarily at yuppie and corporate types.
So I was pretty disappointed. But it moves right along and is fun to read, otherwise.

People are not simple and it's challenging to manuever through days of endless interactions in this every day world. This book defines behaviors and then offers checklists so that you can identify basic motivation in others. Whether others are acting unconsciously or with intention, you have the tools to identify energy-robbing behaviors so that you can react with awareness or avoid the stinkers altogether. The reading is easy, well organized and easy to understand. I love the checklists...they are not comprehensive, and we definitely need to avoid labeling others...but they allow a peek into the thought processes of others.

Very interesting book. Captures diverse personality traits without specifically diagnosing personality disorders. Easy and enjoyable to read. I think any person could identify with at least one of these personality descriptions.

This book describes different personality types and things they tend to do. It tells you the best way to deal with these people without hurting them and still protecting yourself. I wish the author would have written this book twenty years ago. I believe everyone should read this book. It will save so many relationships(parents, spouses, children) or maybe keep an unhealthy one from beginning.

I have always attracted people who are described in this book. In the past those relationships end badly after draining my resources. I would maintain my boundaries with a hammer (figuratively) when I got worn out. I didn't know how to maintain boundaries appropriately. This book has helped plus it was a good read.

Any really good book, especially a reference like this one, is truly illuminating. This book sheds light on some of the most destructive and least-understood types of people who draw the life out of you. In addition, you might see some things about yourself represented here, but it's all for the best; this kind of a book can illuminate your own personal darkness as well.

Whatever you get this book for, defense or self-discovery, it will leave you well armed against all of these "Vampire" types; narcissists, obsessive-compulsives, paranoids and the like, as well as giving you a strong reference for seeing them before they sneak up on you in the dark of your own trust or naivete. This will give you a chance too, if you are already involved, by choice or accident, with many of these dysfuctional creatures of shadow.

This volume is great, and in my humble opinion, can be the cross, stake and holy water in your arsenal against dark, albeit very common, forces.

IF you know or EVEN THINK you are living, dealing, or having to interact with anybody who seriously drives you crazy, this book is for
you. It was amazing how the authors discription of (well, in my case; Histronic Personality Disorder)personality traits explained
the person in question to THEEE TTTTTT!! Gotta hav it!!

Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People who Drain you Dry

The focus of this book is individuals with personality disorders. The author, (Bernstein, 2001) refers to these individuals as emotional vampires and emphasizes that they are not like regular people. They go through life by their own rules and they are not fair. They use us to meet their needs. They draw us in and then drain us dry.

Bernstein (2001) limits the discussion of personality disorders to only five of the eleven disorders covered in Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) of American Psychiatric Association (APA). The coverage includes: (1) Antisocial ,(2) Histrionic, (3) Narcissism, (4) Obsessive Compulsive, & (5) Paranoia. The author includes scenarios to illustrate the traits of these personality disordered individuals. Humor is also used liberally to make the major points. I believe that the damage done by these personality disordered individuals is a serious matter. I recognize that one way to handle profoundly serious subject matter is to make it funny. However, for whatever reason I did not care much about Bernstein's funny approach. There is no doubt that after reading the book, you will be more informed about these personality disordered individuals. You might also learn how to deal with them. I recommend that you visit Bernstein's website. It contains useful information for dealing with negative emotions and difficult human beings.

While written with humor and illustrated with fun line drawings, this book addresses some pretty serious psychological situations we all get caught up in sooner or later. Some people are just nasty! Very helpful.

With this book, I finally understand why certain people drive me crazy and drain all my energy. It's not me, it's them! Extremely helpful tips on dealing with these people and avoiding the traps they set.

This book was superior! I downloaded the Kindle version. And, will keep it on my list forever. This is a book I will read again and again. I connected with it on so many levels. After reading it, I was at work and several coworkers were standing around fussing about this and that. Meanwhile, I was sitting there quietly observing. Suddenly, one of them points at me and says " I don't like this. What's up? What's this new you?" I simply told her I had just read a book called Emotional Vampires. Told her what it was about and how much I got out of it. She ordered it herself for her Kindle. Great life tool!

I classify this as pop psychology because it (a) uses frequent references to popular culture and (b) sometimes oversimplifies concepts in order to jazz up the readibility. And it is easy to read, often entertaining because of the light touch. Yet there is some excellent information in this book, including very useful advice.

I wish I'd had the advice on corporate advancement back when I needed it. It's in the chapter on perfectionists and clearly explains the difference between tasks which are part of doing a good job but will not lead to advancement and tasks which lead to advancement but are not part of doing a good job (such as taking management's side and generating paper with your name on it). Yes, that's a bit cynical, but realistic in many workplaces.

I've seen other books on dealing with people which I wouldn't even bother to review. This one is worth reading.

This book has been a worthwhile purchase. I enjoyed the descriptions and the humor that the author employs. I would recommend it. To round out the study I also recommend George Simon's "In sheep's clothing".....whatever, if you fall victim you will be bled dry and like bloated ticks they will jump to the next dog. The books are a good study, easy to read and contain good warnings.

I was looking for something into a more in depth look at the vampires, and from all relationship angles.
Parents,siblings, and friends and co workers. This book is very basic and a great primer, but I already knew
almost everything it had to say from just reading internet articles and posts. So only 3 stars.
It will be a 5 star book for the right person, but not for me.

It was a very informative book. The book explained different personalities and how they can affect you and how you can deal with these people. The book was easy to read and understand while also being entertaining.

This book covers five of the most common personality disorders: Antisocial, Histrionic, Narcissistic, Obsessive-Compulsive and Paranoid personality disorders. The author has an amusing yet melodramatic outlook on these disorders; it is entertaining from start to finish. The author has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and the information and advice is well-researched and sound. Everyone should read this book.

First, to diffuse some of the objections to this book you might come across:
1. "Overuse of the Vampire analogies and other metaphors and imagery." Whoever found them distracting was just not understanding them. Bernstein uses each one to make a very specific point, and with their aid he makes that point compeletely clear and accessible. He does use the vampire analogy, but at almost every turn there's a new take on it. His writing is very colorful and just as intentional.
Also, Bernstein is uproariously funny (but never funny just for the sake of being funny). And a lot of that is in his use of metaphors, etc. Before I got 1/2 way through, I checked the 'about the author' to see if he'd done stand-up comedy on the side. Apparently he does a lot of public speaking. A good comedian points out things you haven't really thought about and then makes them entertaining. And when you laugh at something it usually means that you can relate to it and that you completely understand the message. The clarity and liveliness needed to be an effective public speaker, along with the didactic humor, keep things humming from cover to cover. If you're not at least giving a chuckle every few pages or so, either you're not getting it, or there's a much more serious concern...
2. "Not enough concrete advice." Whoever could think this, they are truly not seeing the forest for the trees! This book is loaded with practical advice and revolves around delivering that advice in the most effective way.
I identified my vampire, and I'm going to take a totally different approach to them based on the practical information I found here. In fact Bernstein says outright that while finding the root cause of a disorder can be interesting, it can often be a distraction from how to deal with the practical issues you have face. And, true to his word, everything he says either frames his practical advice, tees it up or delivers it--usually with illustrations on how one might apply it.
3. "There are better books out there on the subject." It's hard to imagine. Maybe there are. But it's all moot anyway when the critic doesn't actually provide any alternative titles or make any effort to back the statement up.
While you're reading and enjoying, you're picking up some rather subtle points all along the way, maybe without even quite realizing how difficult it would really be to take up these otherwise abstract and difficult points and then render them as accessible as Bernstein does. This book is full of valuable tools, and concepts that are crucial to understanding and dealing with this type of person. I know, based on personal experience--frighteningly personal experience.
My vampire is a paranoid obsessive-compulsive. Bernstein illustrates a typical conversation that an OC vampire might have, and I've had that EXACT SAME conversation, in almost identical circumstances and which included a lot of the same exact words and phrases!
Bernstein accomplishes everything, and more, that one would want to see in a practical introduction to the more common personality disorders--only EXTREMELY WELL! After reading this book you'll feel a lot less alone in your situation and a lot more equipped to deal with your vampires.

I found this book to be very insightful and interesting. It was lent to me by a friend and I liked it so much that I bought my own copy. If you want to understand why dealing with some people leaves you feeling drained, read this book.

I thoroughly enjoyed the humor and broken record technique to educate the layman on personality disordered individuals that thrive on emotional drama and trauma, rather than the sociopathic/psychopathic appetite for murder and rape. Few people recognize the daily contacts we have with disordered people, especially if they were born to one! As an advocate and counselor, this is a good read for the highly intelligent and motivated client that is confused by the chaos one of 'the disordered' is stirring up in their lives. For management, that are not disordered themselves, it is good to recognize what you are dealing with before probationary periods are completed! Anyone that is feeling like their emotional investments in an individual are not egaltarian or not paying off equitably ought to read this book. Fun approach to a very painful, dark subject.

This book is must read for EVERYBODY. Would help in your day to day working life, but even better for personal relationships. I didn't even know people like this existed until it was too late for me and I was "bitten" by one! The book has truly opened by eyes to understand what I went through, the red flags I didn't see when I first met the vampire and how to avoid these people at all costs now!

The use of the vampire analogy keeps the book very interesting. This book will make you take a good, long look at yourself and all those around you. The continuum of human personality is quite interesting and the author does a fantastic job of explaining it all. You will feel much more capable of inhabiting our human world with happiness. LOVED IT.