How the Business of Death Saved My Life - Confessions of a Funeral Director

This book was beautifully written. It touches on the human soul. It gives a better understanding of some of the things we have not yet considered.
The life in the day of those who care for us in our times of grief and need.
I enjoyed this book very much and look forward to more writings by Caleb Wilde. Bravo!

Mr. Wilde has written a beautiful book. Reading this has given me a new perspective on the recent losses of my sister and brother. It's easy to get caught up on all of the negative aspects of death but in doing so you miss out on a lot of the beauty too. I'd recommend this book to anyone struggling with loss.

The words Caleb chose needed to be said. I appreciated his perspective on death, as someone who has been around death his entire life, it's unique and refreshing that he has combined the "old" with the "new . There is a NEED for this death positive narrative. Its time. And Caleb has a way of introducing it with heartfelt consideration.

I follow Caleb Wilde on social media, as I am a mortuary student, this book did not disappoint. I read it during my semester and had a hard time focusing on school work because I just wanted to read this instead - I finished the book in 2-3 days.

As a Presbyterian Pastor, this book struck to the heart of so much that I feel about death as one who walks alongside the dying, dead, and grieving. Wilde is an excellent writer with supurb insight. I'm so grateful for this read. I'd like to try it out as a small group book read too!

I would recommend this book to anyone in or not in the funeral business, I felt a connection with Caleb, I felt relieved that I am not alone in my fears, expectations and true thoughts on the funeral business thank you Caleb for sharing your story!

I'm usually too lazy to write reviews of books - even those I love. But this book - wow! Caleb Wilde is so insightful and so deep and a darn good writer, too. So much is wrong about how our culture handles death, and the author discusses this in a fair and loving way.

I have been waiting to read this and have had it on waiting list. I am in my first year of mortuary science school and this was definitely an amazing insight on the world that I plan I’m going into!

Having read an essay about Caleb several years ago that stuck with me always, I had high expectations. This book did not disappoint and has given me much to consider and wrestle with about our death culture.

I currently work in a family own and ran funeral home and even though I’m not a Mortican I see a lot and do a lot more than my title of administrative assistant. This book has shown me its similarities and important life lessons.

I had high hopes for this book, I really did. I followed Mr.. Wilde's FB page and found his insights and tidbits about the funeral business to be fascinating and entertaining. However, once I received the book, yesterday, I'm less than half way through it wondering why on earth I pre-ordered, waited for the release and then paid $26 for this 193 page autobiography that gave no real insight into what I thought, based on what Mr. Wilde had been teasing us all with, the mystery, fear, and interesting insights into the death care business.

I read this in two sittings. My husband and I thought we had fertility issues when we first tried starting our family, so the chapter about the adoption of their son really spoke to me. I found myself bawling my eyes out, mostly happy tears but also a little sad, too.

Each chapter is like a short story of Wilde's experiences in the family's funeral home business. He goes over what to say and what not to say at a funeral. Much better than some things I'd heard over the years.

I could see myself and others in many parts of the book. Excellent read!

Not a huge fan of this book, I found Caleb to lack compassion and found him to be ignorant. Just because you are a 6th generation Funeral Director does not mean you know everything about the industry, or mean that you are a "professional". He also talks way too much about his religion which is off putting. He tried to make an essay into a book and he failed. Just my opinion.

I read my local library's copy of this book and was so impressed I bought one as a Christmas gift. Caleb does a good job of writing - he is accessible and insightful. It won't take long to read this book; you'll want to keep reading! The author's honesty in describing his life (and his heart) is impressive. This is one of those books that I wish everyone would read.

I follow Caleb Wilde on Instagram and did when I was on Facebook.

I enjoy his writing style. I have a lot of these types of funeral director "confessions" and enjoy them.

However, I had no idea he is so... into the Christian god. If that's what works for him, that's great.

But there's an assumption, both inferred and stated, that everyone feels as he does. ... "we, as people of faith." And this Christian god is mentioned often.

I don't find this offensive, but I do find the constant mentions off-putting.

Had I known this about him before now, I would not have bought this book. I understand when something has an impact on your life, you want to let people know, but I would have preferred this POV to be confined to himself. After the revelation that approaching his job as a "servant of God" "saved" him, that's all I really needed to know. The further mentions are annoying and smack of proselytizing.

I just skip the mentions and am enjoying the rest of the book.

I sure was disappointed. This book is nothing but religious nonsense. Frankly I don't care about how he views god. The amt of time he has spent of his life on bronze age fairy tales
Is rather sad and pointless

(Don't let the lack of "Verified Purchase" throw you: I was able to read an advanced copy and will be buying ASAP.) I've been reading Caleb's blog for just several months, and I can honestly say he has changed the way I think about death -- and life. At first he made me laugh, then he made me ponder, and he even made me cry. This book brings together everything that endeared me to him in a broader, more passionate forum. From the way he speaks of those he's helped and the positive changes it's made in him, to how beautifully he talks about taking time for grief and acknowledging that it never fully goes away (nor should it have to), to the hints of humor that made me laugh out loud: I truly do see the positive side of death now. It's one thing to understand the reality of what happens when you die in a physical sense (which is the morbid curiosity that led me down my own Death Journey this year), but it's a whole different aspect to see death as more than just a loss of life, to see beyond the surface; and who better to learn these lessons from than someone whose life literally revolves around death? And please, if you're not a religious person, do not let that keep you from enjoying and learning from this book; yes, Caleb speaks a lot about God, but there is a far greater story being told. (Though I quite enjoyed hearing all of his thoughts and feelings on God and Heaven, and as a Jew I loved his appreciation of our traditions.) And for his questioning of if he is meant to stay in this profession, I answer him with a resounding "yes"; I think he is exactly the kind of man we all need when we're in our darkest hours of grief, someone kind and thoughtful and also lighthearted in the best of ways, someone whose own doubts only further humanize him and make him a more competent funeral director. If I weren't over an hour away from the Wilde Funeral Home, I would absolutely turn to them when loss inevitably hits home. So, in conclusion, this book has meant something very special to me, and I hope it will mean the same to you.

For honest reflections about death and grief, I often turn to Caleb Wilde. In his memoir Confessions Of A Funeral Director, Caleb’s honesty about his doubts and anxiety makes his insights that much more compelling. He suggests (and I agree) we adopt a death positive narrative and shows how society’s death negative narrative and the church’s heaven narrative actually hurt us and our ability to mourn.

Through examples from his professional experience, as well as his own personal losses, Caleb illustrates the importance of grieving well, as well as a healthier perspective about death and dying. One of my favorite stories was about Sam, an LGBTQ woman who attended a church where she was not allowed to become a member. Even though her sexuality meant she could not fully be a part of her church, she expressed wishes for her funeral to be there. The way the pastor and Sam's family, many of whom were not affirming, responded to this wish was incredibly moving.

Caleb muses that death is the common denominator that helps us connect, even when we don't see eye to eye. It can bring us together or it can tear us apart. But when we allow it, death helps bridge our differences and reminds us that love is the reason for all things. This chapter might be the reason to read this book.

We need to have more conversations like this. We need to talk about what really matters. We need to talk not only about the kind of life we want to have but the kind of death we want to have. This book is a great step in helping us have that conversation.

I appreciated how Caleb covered many different kinds of loss, including infertility and adoption. He also emphasizes the importance of proximity and presence in times of loss, which might be the best takeaway anyone could receive. It's never about having the right thing to say but simply showing up and being there for one another.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy from HarperOne.

Having used the services of a funeral director several times in my life, I recognize the importance that they play in the final story of many people. Also having gone to a college which had a mortuary science program, I knew a number of budding funeral directors. All it would seem were motivated to continue a family business. Still to the rest of us it seemed a somewhat macabre choice of occupation.

This author was similar to my college acquaintances and went into the family business though at first, it seemed grudgingly. He at first pursued some other dreams, but eventually came back into the family fold. Early in his funeral role, his career took a personal toll. This book is how he came to terms with it and realized his work has great value and could help set the tone, to that final chapter.

Each person will read this book in different ways. The author early on had a religious bent. Though I don’t share this interest, you can see he struggled to find a story in this context that worked for him. The pain of the people around him, had no higher meaning from what he saw and it took its toll on his own mental health. Over time and through a lot of inner probing, he realized that death had positive aspects as well as negative. Death brings people together. A sense of community. I’ve seen similar things written about disasters. As horrible as a death or disaster is, people put aside their differences and support one another. They form a community.

Several of the stories within had a particular meaning to me. I felt some were heart wrenching, others life affirming. I’m sure you will too. I had a hard time putting this book down. It was well written and probed on a lot of ideas that we all ponder on. I have to say, having been in the position, of dealing with a funeral director several times, it was a good experience at a bad time. These men (and one woman) I dealt with were caring and patient and even in a few cases, provided some levity to a sad moment in my life.

Meet Caleb Wilde, a sixth generation funeral director and his book that takes you from his early days of playing formalda-hyde and seek in the funeral home to becoming a near basket or, casket, case due to the demands of the role and how he emerged on the other side.

Part memoir, and while more gracious than a polemic there's a definite viewpoint here on how we can, as a society, do death better and try not to mold grief into a one size fits all and done in a month affair
.While there's an unavoidable discussion of what transpires inside a funeral home its matter of fact, it's way more reserved than books of the same genre and when it comes down to it, that's good because there's not a lot of variation there, interesting yes, in the context of his journey ,not so much.

Where he's done a great job is relating the things that see, the reactions of those around the death of a loved,or not so loved, one and while I'm not prone to public tears it's hard to be a father and not get a little moist in the eye where children are involved, or a husband when a spouse is involved or a child when the parents are involved... oh hell just add on a few tissues. Don't get me wrong they are the good type of tears, it's not manipulative or maudlin and there's often beauty hidden within these stories and that's one of the central themes in within the book and one which he's accomplished fairly well.

I'm far from being religious and having seen a couple of reviews that were not a fan of its appearance within the book. I didn't, find the references to his personal faith an impediment within the context of the book. E.G., I can separate out his experience and understanding of religion, which isn't remotely proselytizing , with the underlying message of the book.

This book made me look at death with a whole new meaning. Caleb's writing style is such that you feel like you are having a conversation with him as he explains his views on death and how the way we look at it needs to change. And he is right. Just as birth is a positive experience, death too, should be something embraced by the family and those dying to make it a positive experience as well. I was laughing at some of the more humorous moments and tears were falling reading some of the family stories that I could relate to. While this book was a mix of emotions, it made me take a hard look at the death process and what I would want for me or any of my family members. This book will touch your core and make you think about things you would rather push to the back of your mind. Caleb has inspired me to embrace death as a positive experience and reach out to help others experience that as well as a Death Douala. Thank you Caleb for bringing a new meaning of death into my life so that I may help others as well.

This book is equal parts poignant,compassionate, funny, and enlightening in the way the author shares his experiences and findings as a funeral director and as a human being. As a funeral director he is steeped to his knees in the daily doings of death and grief and his personal journey in learning to cope and thrive, not just in spite of but because of, death, is eye opening and refreshing. There are aspects of his personal life that he has shared that I related to so deeply that I ended the book with a feeling of renewed hope and solidarity in my faith that God isn’t absent, even in those dark and scary and lonely moments that are so inexplicable. Though the author isn’t preaching any message of faith, other than that death can be a positive, but because I have held hands with death in my own life, the author reminded me that the tension between life and death, sorrow and joy, defeat and hope....., is possible to hold in this life. I may never understand it, but I can hold it. Beautifully written, I definitely recommend this book to those who may be struggling in their own death narrative.

It should be noted that I ordered this book right before I most needed to read it. Shortly after it arrived, my aunt went into hospice care and passed away soon thereafter. Hers was a good death in a way that so many that came before it were not. And that's exactly the way "Confessions of a Funeral Director" is framed.

If you've ever thought of death as a negative experience, and who among us hasn't, you may very well walk away from reading the book with a completely new--and very positive--frame of mind. Would I call this a literary masterpiece? Not by any stretch. It is definitely written for a popular (8th grade) reading audience. But the takeaways, and there are so many of them, elevated this book for me from meh to good. Take a chance on it!

Through this book, Caleb does an excellent job of challenging the ever-pervasive negative death narrative found within the American psyche. So many of us have been removed from death and all its nuances that we find ourselves often uncomfortable, at a loss for words, and simply frightened when confronted with mortality. Throughout the text, stories are shared of families breaking down these barriers with their dead by being part of the process at various stages--taking extra time with their beloved, dressing their loved ones, and so forth. I found these anecdotes comforting as they echoed some of my own experiences with my loved ones. Holding hands, sharing stories, being present--these practices, as well as others, have helped reshape how I view death and have brought me to a healthier relationship with my own mortality. Likewise, as one who works in ministry settings through the Episcopal Church, these writings help provide great foundations in how to walk alongside families through their loss.

All that said, it is important to keep an open mind when reading this book, especially if new to this kind of conversation around death. It's not for everyone, but I still firmly believe this is one resource for having difficult conversations. Please read, grapple, consider, and talk about what you're consuming. You may be surprised by what you learn along the way.

As as person who has been around death since I was a child, I have spent much time trying to understand it. Caleb lays out his own doubts but comes around by the ending of the book. He is utterly honest, provocative, heartwarming sad and at times humorous. He is a Young man with great responsibility who takes his career with respect and honor. Caleb answered quite a few questions of mine. I couldn't put the book down. Thank you Caleb for your understanding and wisdom!

In a revealing book that weaves story and spirituality fairly seamlessly, Caleb offers readers outside the funeral industry a little peek into this fascinating world. This is my first encounter with the concept of "death negative" and "death positive" narratives, and this is what has really stuck with me.

Given the American cultural tendency to ignore mortality, Caleb provides readers the opportunity to examine and rethink how we look at death. This is so important if we are ever to see death as a part of life. We don't need to fear it.

The advent of the public hospital created a sphere in which we could put death somewhere else far away. Unfortunately, this promotes an unhealthy view of death. But Caleb shows us, through deeply moving stories from his work, that there truly is such a thing as a good death.

There is much to praise about this book. For someone completely unfamiliar with the funeral industry, I received quite an education, and Caleb's stories are heartbreaking and yet so beautiful. I would love to see the spiritual dimension of death examined more deeply, but I can tell this is an ongoing journey for Caleb. I'm excited to see where this goes next.

I think people are drawn to this book simply because it isn't common for funeral directors to talk about their work, so when one does, everyone assumes they are imparting some wise, deeply philosophical insights on life and death. The fact is that his experiences are pretty much like every other funeral director's, and to be truthful, the examples he uses to talk about his job aren't the most interesting ones he could have chosen if his career bears any resemblance the rest of the funeral directors in the country. I can make this claim because I am one, and this stuff is par for the course. The only difference is that he seems to have more difficulty coping with it than most. And I agree with others who have said his long family "lineage" in the field doesn't mean he knows more than the rest of us. In a lot of cases, I think funeral service is better off when these families finally decide that they want to try their hand at something else and make room for new people and approaches to service.

Can you write a life-giving book about death? Perhaps not all are able to, but in his first book, Calve Wilde, a funeral director out of Pennsylvania certainly does.

Having experienced my own losses, I found that the way Caleb writes about death and dying to be a comfort. He shares why we need to bring death closer, rather than pushing it away. To touch it, talk about it, learn to love it.

This is a beautiful book, and one that is desperately needed.

Caleb Wilde is a very thoughtful, caring writer who really draws in his audience with his honesty and candid storytelling. No one really ever thinks about all of the unspoken work that is performed by funeral directors, or the emotional toll that it can take, however using humor and poignancy, he spells it all out for the world to see. From his roots, growing up in a funeral home, to sharing that same childhood with his son, he takes us through the highs and lows of being a part of a multi-generational funeral business.

This book is exceptionally written from his perspective, allowing the reader to place themselves in that moment and experience the same emotions Mr Wilde experienced at the same time. I can honestly say that I shed a few tears reading this book.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who may have any questions regarding the funeral industry - thank you, Caleb, for shining the light on the death narrative, and allowing us to see life - and death - in a new, and positive, perspective.

This brings light to things the majority of people can't/won't/don't talk about. This is the side of death that most won't ever experience. Everyone should read this book. This book is beautiful. This book is love.

This book, like no other I've read, has opened my eyes to what death can do spiritually. Far too often we focus on the negativity of death and not on the positivity, as Caleb points out.

So grateful to read this book. I'm processing the seemingly needless death of two friends and this book adds beautiful perspective.

As a long-time follower of Caleb's blog posts, I was greatly anticipating the release of this book... and it did not disappoint! While the book is written in a casual narrative style, the points covered are poignant and get straight to the heart. By combining personal stories honed from his many years in the death care industry with insightful musings on religion, society, and death itself, Caleb Wilde removes some of the fear from this often taboo subject. With its death-positive approach, this book makes for an enjoyable and thought-provoking read. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the death care industry, as well as those who are looking for a well-written and introspective look at the perceptions surrounding death in American society. Kudos, Caleb... and thank you for sharing this with us.

As a reader, I like to 'get to know' the author in stories like this. I've followed Caleb on his blog for a while now and was excited to see he was writing a book- but concerned that like many bloggers, it may be just a rehash of his site. It isn't, and it's wonderful. More than just a string of funny, or heartbreaking stories about the business you get to see the humanity in the profession. The humor is definitely there in some of the craziness of the job but this isn't a book about all the outlandish things that can happen- it's about the whole deal- the compassion, the sadness, the horrors and strains. And the goofiness, the laughs- the life.

This book is more than just a funeral director's recollections of his career in the mortuary profession. Through Wilde's memories and thoughts, he examines grief, loss, faith, friendship, and family, discusses his experiences (personal and professional) with all of those aspects of life, and shows his path in learning to accept and live with them. A very readable and helpful book, even for those who have no interest in the funeral business- and an especially good book for anyone who is struggling with the grief process after losing a loved one. This book should also be required reading for anyone who is studying cultural anthropology and/or is interested in the modern American culture, because it discusses a highly important aspect of our culture that is rarely mentioned.

A powerful, positive, honest meditation on death . . . as someone who has found herself with death as her companion in a lot of ways in my life, I found this book to speak truth to my experience, to encourage me to embrace the way I don't always see death as an attack, and to honor my own grief. Highly recommend.

I started following Caleb's blog a couple of years ago and have always enjoyed his writing. I appreciate his humor regarding serious situations. His new book is all I hoped for; funny, sad, educational, enlightening and powerful. The personal journey he travels through, in the book, will draw you in and you'll find yourself "rooting" for him to be happy. You'll understand his frustrations with the industry and appreciate his thoughts on how to handle difficult situations. You'll be pleased you purchased the book - enjoy! Congratulations to Caleb!!

It's not what I was expecting, but interesting, none the less. Caleb writes from his heart and his insights mixed with his humor make it a worthwhile read. He makes you realize that Funeral Directors are human too. He writes of personal struggles, like infertility as well as tender things to inspire grieving families, like the possibility of dressing your loved ones yourself. While he and I differ on some of our beliefs, I would recommend this book to anyone interested in "pulling back the curtain" on death's dark places to shine a brighter, more positive light on it's nuances.Confessions of a Funeral Director: How the Business of Death Saved My Life

This review is by Nancy Marron-Asti : COAFD resolves many fears about death and dying in a poignant and humorous narrative generously gifted to us by Caleb. It makes completely human those guys in dark suits in the background at every funeral service. The "death positive" is a conversation ( and hopefully conversion) that was long overdue and, seriously, would be an addition to any curricula involving death, the afterlife, a higher power, or any other borderline taboo subject. In our current divisive, angry and bitter national dialog, this book comes along and becomes the great equalizer, and peacemaker. It is clearly a gift of love.

I have followed Caleb Wilde's blog for some time, and was very excited to read his new book, Confessions of a Funeral Director. It is a truly absorbing read - informative, entertaining, and above all honest and soul searching. Caleb clearly has deep religious beliefs, which I do not share, but despite that I found myself empathising and agreeing with many of his thoughts. His handling of very sensitive situations is caring, respectful and in my opinion quire admirable. This well written book debunks some of the myths surrounding death in today's society, and divulges some deeply personal insight into how Caleb approaches his calling. Very highly recommended.

I have waited years to finally be able to read this book, and I must say I was not disappointed in the least. One thing I loved about this book is just how candid Caleb is with his views in mortality and the never ending battle he had internally with his psyche and religious questions. Caleb makes no apologies for his religious insight mixing with death, and he absolutely should not. Death positivity has many facets and Caleb definitely shows how his own qualms about death can open the mind. Confessions of a Funeral Director is very intimate and recommend for those who want a different perspective of mortality.

This is an absolutely gorgeous book. Caleb breathes life into his writing about death. I listened to the book on Audible and am now ordering a hard copy so I can reread it on paper and can underline and highlight passages from the book. This book goes a long way to shifting the current paradigm and view of death in our culture. I am a better person for having read it and will carry Caleb's wisdom on this subject in my heart for a long time to come. 5 stars.

I was already hooked on Wilde's candid, articulate writing style and followed his blog. Therefore, I ordered his book without hesitation. He is both a fine writer, and a natural philosopher/theologian. I am not only impressed by his insight, but reassured that such minds still exist out there, regardless of the industry or profession they occupy.

This is a great read, and a great re-read.

If you're looking for a book that can change your outlook, you found that book! Caleb Wilde writes the most thoughtful and thought provoking book to come along in a long time, joining the death positive narrative, and expanding spirituality to make us all see that we're surrounded by the sacred. Through death he finds a greater appreciation of life. If you read this book, you will too!

Caleb brought into not only the everyday life in the funeral infustry but brought his own experiences in the book. No hocus pokus. Bringing his family history made for most enjoyable experience when reading the book. Truly an excellent book with a lot of valuable information for those of us just now entering the field.

This book is a must read for any and all who deal with death in any way, especially clergy and those who think folks must simply "get over" the death of a loved one. Death is as much a part of life as birth and Caleb Wilde does a phenomenal job of making that connection.

Great book about how death affects everyone in different ways. Caleb eloquently explains how death is looked upon negatively but doesn't have to be, and that grief looks different on each person, and that it's ok to grieve. He also opens up about his experiences. A great, honest read that is guaranteed to make you think and re-evaluate how you view death. It has all the feels.

I eagerly awaited this book and was lucky enough to read an advanced copy, it did not disappoint. Caleb's approach to death and the funeral industry is a breath of fresh air and is what pushed me to follow my dream of working in the industry myself. If you haven't done so already, pick up a copy...or 3, you wont regret it! Well done, Caleb!!

The author brings many poignant thoughts about death positivity with stories pieced together from his own situations. I highly recommend this book. With insights from the mind of a funeral director, you walk through a journey of discovering how to think more clearly about how death affects life and how you deal with death.

I highly recommend this book. I was able to read a preorder review copy and am now waiting for my preorder book to be delivered so I can read it again. Caleb has a flair for writing. It's very well written and also a fast read. There are sad stories but there's also much about being death positive.

Caleb Wilde takes us on quite the journey through his "death" and THEN his "birth". Even though religion is mentioned throughout, I certainly wouldn't classify this as a Christian book. It was a great book from front to back.

I am only a few chapters in, but I am hooked. This is a well written and thought provoking account of what it’s like to be a provider in the death industry.
I will recommend this book to others at my next Death Cafe meeting.

Insightful, real, raw, honest and powerful. Interesting perspectives and stories. Great writing. Mr. Wilde talks about the important things in life in a beautiful and transparent way. I loved it...

There's the song that says it's not the dates on the tombstone that matter it's the dash in-between. Not so for me with this book; for me the opening and closing chapters caught my interest while the book in-between didn't.

I expected something completely different. Not exactly sure what that was, but it wasn't this. This - to me - was dry and rather aimless. And too long. If I had to categorize the content I'd say "pop theology." And while I found some nuggets there wasn't enough buried inside to say I hit pay dirt. For me, this was a magazine essay that tried to be a book. And again, to me, it doesn't succeed.

In the end, not bad/horrible. I'm sure a number of people will find the book engaging and helpful. I'm not one of them. For me, it's just okay. 3 stars.

Maybe it’s a good thing that author Caleb Wilde makes his work as a funeral director sound deathly boring since the undertaker is literally and figuratively the last person we want to meet. From a storytelling perspective, though, that’s a problem. How do you engage the reader in a subject no one wants to talk about? Wilde’s answer is to turn his slim, large-font book into a meditation on God, fear, and his spiritual connection to the living through his caring for their dead. Sounds more like a sermon, and given that young Wilde considered a religious calling before turning to the family business, it’s one that he delivers to his reading flock (he also has a blog from which this book heavily cribs.)

Wilde’s not a medical doctor telling tales of heroic cures and sad, but valiant, inevitabilities. He’s also not a coroner, investigating causes of death by examining body clues with its air of mystery and thrill of discovery. Even the homogenized title of “funeral director” is bloodless and without charm, suggestive more of a cruise ship for the dead than of Charon ferrying the departed across the River Styx to Hades. Now, that’s a funeral director.

Charmless is the best word to describe this earnest work by a sixth-generation funeral director. At times, especially when he discusses his work with the bodies - preparing them for viewing and the logistics of funeral arrangements – it’s interesting reading. But Wilde lacks the poetic insight of Thomas Lynch or the hard-boiled realism of Caitlin Doughty to make his “Confessions of a Funeral Director” come to life.

This is a melancholy, somber, bromide-filled confession about a man who, overcome with grief, stress, and exhaustion from working as a funeral director, responds to a particularly gruesome group of family members’ death from a car crash by having a sort of nervous breakdown. In the hospital, Caleb Wilde has to do some soul searching to decide if he wants to continue working in his family’s business.

While the job is arduous and often overwhelmingly disturbing and sad, Wilde is drawn to the wisdom death teaches him, and as a result, he decides to stay. As a result, we have several of his haunting adventures in the his trade. He comes away with wisdom: Death isn’t all that bad; it’s a teaching tool; we spend too much time ignoring death; “Let death show you goodness.” While I agree with his insights, some seem self-evident at times resulting in too many cliches about death.

This book was nothing what I expected. I thought it would have some insights about death with spiritual stories that were uplifting. The author is from generations of funeral directors on both sides of his family. It doesn't seem like he likes the profession very much. He also uses the word "narrative" a lot. I thought the book was dry, slow and dare I say, lifeless.