Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss

As a widower for ten years, this book is the best yet on the grief and grieving process. Good practical information. Not an academic type of publication. I have read many such books since my spouse died.

Another excellent book is C.S. Lewis' "A Grief Observed".

I read this book about 9 months after my husband passed away and wish I would have found it sooner. This book touches on every aspect of life after losing someone so close. The book helped me feel normal and understand the grieving process.

Something to read when you cannot help but be consumed with grief. You don't have to work at all as it is speaking right to how you feel. A book I have read again and again and was a true comfort throughout all the hard times.

I read this book a couple of years ago and it changed my life. This book has such a compassionate way of look at grief. I want all my friends who have suffered loss to read it. It is so insightful. My mom died 33 years ago when I was 11 years old...and I felt connected to every page of this book, like I have lived it my entire life without knowing I was grieving. It helped me understand myself so much better because I grew up with much grief. No one seemed to understand me, but after reading this book I finally feel like I'm understood. It has been a powerful influence in my life.

I took the book out of the library and it was very helpful, especially to know that you are not alone with the different emotions of grief. I bought this book to have as a reference on those "hard to bear days" and it truly helps.

Reading and rereading Death and Dying motivated my writing Coping With Life. I learned of this book after deciding to write Coping thus decided to postpone reading On Grief .... until Coping was published. Having just finished On Grief and Grieving I will now go back and study each chapter. There are many lessons to learn as we practice grieving our losses.

Very good book. Also get "Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief". They will help you to deal with your loss. I just started reading them last week and I feel they were written for me to let me go through this very difficult time.

Very good book. Also get "Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief". They will help you to deal with your loss. I just started reading them last week and I feel they were written for me to let me go through this very difficult time.

This book was not at all what I was expecting it to be. It was extremely pacifying and at times enraging. My husband and I are grieving the traumatic loss of our infant son and this book in essence is a mollifying broken record of "that's okay to feel a, b, c, d... It's all okay". The people highlighted in the book feel generic and scripted and it's hard to believe that so many have had such profound moments of self realization during incredible low points. While I get that each grieving person is an individual, there hasn't been a single moment through my personal grieving process that I thought "you know what, it is okay". Losing a child is a VERY atypical experience and it's one that this book does not fully embrace. I can see this book being helpful for a more expected type of grieving, but if you're searching for a book that's sympathetic to child loss, look elsewhere.

I was upset that there was a big black line going down all the pages on the outside of book. This was a gift for a family member that just lost her father and it looked like a used book because of that line. Upsetting.

I recently experienced the sudden death of my brother. Elizabeth Kubler Ross' book on Grief and Grieving was recommended to me by a couple of people. I was really hoping it would help me deal with all this. Instead, I found myself having different reactions: the obvious was stated (ex: it's okay to be sad"--oh, really), or many of the things she talked about I could not relate to AT ALL (angels, reincartaion, God),I found myself getting angry and/or frustrated as I read on. Others may view it differently and be able to relate. As for myself, I was definitely disappointed, angry at times by what was said or just did not find it helpful I would not necessarily recommend this book to people dealing with grief.

I was looking for a way to grieve the losses of 2 fathers, my mother and my brother. I didn't think I knew how to grieve as I began this book. As I was nearing the end of the book I didn't want it to end but as in life there is a beginning and an end. I learned many lessons within these pages and found my way to grieve each loss by itself. I did know how to grieve after all. My grief just looked "different" to other people and my journey had just begun. I connected with this book and hope you find yours answers too.

On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss by Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler is a must-read book, a compelling page-turner for me, that provides profound insights into the necessity that we must properly grieve the passing of our loved ones.

As pointed out by the authors, the grieving process is not instinctual for us; it requires learning. It is particularly important that as adults that we don't forget to teach our young about grieving, for if a child doesn't grieve in an appropriate way for him or her, that repressed grief may surface years later, a phenomenon that sometimes happens to adults as well.

The book is very humane and compassionate and "teaches with short, clear and concrete stories" that analyze some of the many possible surrounding circumstances that others have faced in losing loved ones. Potentially, we and the people we know could face such circumstances as well. In addition, with these stories, the authors provide relevant and insightful advice and the reasons for that advice.

The authors state that, "if you do not take the time to grieve, you cannot find a future in which loss is remembered and honored without pain." They remind us that we will never forget our loss of a loved one and that we will never be the same; they also remind us that we can learn, when our own individual timetable suggests, that it may be possible to find "renewed meaning" in our lives. This renewed meaning will continue to include, "loving memories and honor for those we have lost."

I highly recommend that you read this book and that you give it to others, as personal circumstances "dictate." Kubler Ross is a legend in the field of grief counseling (she passed away within the last year) and Kessler brings remarkable humanitarian credentials of his own to the writing task. Their combined efforts results in producing a highly readable, compassionate, insightful, and useful book, nothing short of superb.

I lost my mom several weeks ago and it was a very sudden death. At this point I'm going through denial, anger, and depression. More than likely depression is hitting me the hardest at the present time. One of the big reasons that I'm rating this book so very high is that it notes that there is never any true closure after a death. Never. Even within acceptance, closure is never there. There are so very many other points that this book covers so very well that space will not allow me to go into them.

However a very large reason reason that I can't give it a five star is that I went through a very severe shock time period recently where I lost several hours of time when I was crying with people on the phone, driving, etc., and I can't remember a thing about any of it. I was basically "out of it" for about 4-5 hours and my therapist told me that I was in shock due to my mom's death and yet one part of my brain was operational and the other part was blocking everything out. I ended up making my sister irritated at me because of the length of time I was on the phone with her asking questions like, "When did mom die", "Who was at the funeral?", "Who spoke?" (I was one of the speakers, etc. I wore her down emotionally) and I had no idea that I was doing it. I also spoke with my wife who told me that I was in hysterics and a good friend. I remember none of what happened and what was said for about a 4-5 hour period. This book mentions nothing at all about the possibility of being in shock. For those who are now in grief, let me warn you that shock is a real possibility within grief and I wish that this book, as wonderful as it is, would have mentioned the possibility of it. My therapist told me that there are people who do go into shock at some point after a loss. It is because of the many wonderful qualities of this book that I give it four stars, however I can't give it five stars because of its' lack of even touching on shock which was an experience that I went through and, from what I understand, can be common.

This is a book that I would reccomend everyone read. It is a wonderful guide to the grieving process. It not only helps those going through the process realize what to expect and what is normal, but it also helps those surrounding this person understand better what they are going through. Loss is something we all encounter in our lives and this book helps in preparing us for those times. Also I would reccomend this book as a gift to a grieving person.

This book is comforting to read and well organized, and written by the best. Even if a person had difficulty reading about this subject, the first 30 pages of this book or so are exceptional. I experience some physical pain just from my feelings of grief over the recent and multiple losses, and I found that just reading the book helped me to start to feel better physically too. It is a good gift to others who are grieving. While this is a book about grieving a loss of life, I think it is helpful for other experiences and losses that are not necessarily resulting in death as well.

I have been in bereavement work for over ten years now. I was saddened when I read Elisabeth Kubler Ross had died, but surprised that she had written one last book with David Kessler. I preordered it the moment it become available from the store. After a few months of waiting, I thought it will never live up to my expectations. And it didn't, it surpassed them. I have never seen such a comforting and complete book that was organized so thoughtfully for someone in grief. And believe me, I have seen lots of grief books over the years. I will be highly recommending it for all our clients. This is a beautiful and befitting last book for Kubler Ross.

i lost twin daughters and i don't even know how to put into words what this book has done for me. It put in words exactly how i felt, what i was going through and that i am normal for feeling this way and i am on the right track in my grief even though it may not always feel like it.my journey through grief has been the roughest, most difficult thing i have EVER had to do or face and this book simply made the grief process a little better and made grief make sense. I so HIGHLY recommend this book to ANYONE who has lost someone. it will show you you're not alone and you will eventually come out on the other side and be able to enjoy life again.

This book was recommended by a bookstore employee.I lost my dad a year ago to cancer. I've been seeing a grief councelor for almost a year now. I started reading it about 4 days before the 1 year date of his passing and I'm glad I did. When I went to his grave on that day, my mourning wasn't as tragic as I thought it would be. I felt a sense of peace when I left, and I know it came from reading this book. It helped me to better understand ALL the processes of grief. I told my councelor about the book and she is recommending it to her clients based on my praises of this book. I believe it was a WONDERFUL tool/aide in my healing process. I am ordering copies for my sister and stepmother.

What a fabulous reader. She has written many books to do with death and dying. This book is based primarily on grief and the grieving process. It is for young adults as well as us older adults. Extremely helpful. Great seller and product delivery was prompt. AAA+++

This book helped me understand the feelings I have after loosing my wife of 30 years are normal pains that many others have experienced in similar situations. It helped me feel less alone and gave me hope that in time I will learn to live with my grief.
I recommend this book to anyone that has experienced a major loss of a loved one.

I had never experienced losing anyone close to me and I had never experienced anything so painful as the loss of my mother. Although I knew it was going to happen, when it did happen it was indescribable. My mother was more like my sister. Reading 'On Grief and Grieving' gave me comfort, certainly a lot of insight and understanding of the stages. Knowing the processes were normal. I do wish I had read some of the other books and this book prior to my mother's passing, to have had a better understanding. To have an understanding what my mother was going thorugh. On Grief and Grieving is extremely well written, and is a book I can refer to regularly.

I did not expect to like this this book but I did.

Though I know EKR never expected "the stages" to be understood as a linear portrayal of grief, that is what our quick fix culture has done with them. At this point in time they have become nothing more than a bad cliche so I wish this section had been deleted.

Fortunately the stages only take up 21 pages which can easily be skipped. The rest is an accurate portrayal of grief that many people who are grieving will undoubtedly find helpful.

Susan L. Fuller
Author, How to Survive Your Grief When Someone You Love Has Died

As a nurse who is grieving the loss of 5 family members in two months, it puts research findings into practice. It will also be helpful when I teach my class about Death and Dying as I use an evidence-based approach to teaching and helping the students to learn.

From a classic source and helps understanding. How to do it in a practical way may be better presented in the book Grieving As Well As Possible. Reading several books helps you make some progress through a difficult period. This one may the one to read first, and the Grieving As Well As Possible further along the way, since it takes some work to accomplish the tasks it outlines.

I have been in bereavement work for over ten years now. I was saddened when I read Elisabeth Kubler Ross had died, but surprised that she had written one last book with David Kessler. I preordered it the moment it become available from the store. After a few months of waiting, I thought it will never live up to my expectations. And it didn't, it surpassed them. I have never seen such a comforting and complete book that was organized so thoughtfully for someone in grief. And believe me, I have seen lots of grief books over the years. I will be highly recommending it for all our clients. This is a beautiful and befitting last book for Kubler Ross.

i lost twin daughters and i don't even know how to put into words what this book has done for me. It put in words exactly how i felt, what i was going through and that i am normal for feeling this way and i am on the right track in my grief even though it may not always feel like it.my journey through grief has been the roughest, most difficult thing i have EVER had to do or face and this book simply made the grief process a little better and made grief make sense. I so HIGHLY recommend this book to ANYONE who has lost someone. it will show you you're not alone and you will eventually come out on the other side and be able to enjoy life again.

This book was recommended by a bookstore employee.I lost my dad a year ago to cancer. I've been seeing a grief councelor for almost a year now. I started reading it about 4 days before the 1 year date of his passing and I'm glad I did. When I went to his grave on that day, my mourning wasn't as tragic as I thought it would be. I felt a sense of peace when I left, and I know it came from reading this book. It helped me to better understand ALL the processes of grief. I told my councelor about the book and she is recommending it to her clients based on my praises of this book. I believe it was a WONDERFUL tool/aide in my healing process. I am ordering copies for my sister and stepmother.

What a fabulous reader. She has written many books to do with death and dying. This book is based primarily on grief and the grieving process. It is for young adults as well as us older adults. Extremely helpful. Great seller and product delivery was prompt. AAA+++

This book helped me understand the feelings I have after loosing my wife of 30 years are normal pains that many others have experienced in similar situations. It helped me feel less alone and gave me hope that in time I will learn to live with my grief.
I recommend this book to anyone that has experienced a major loss of a loved one.

I had never experienced losing anyone close to me and I had never experienced anything so painful as the loss of my mother. Although I knew it was going to happen, when it did happen it was indescribable. My mother was more like my sister. Reading 'On Grief and Grieving' gave me comfort, certainly a lot of insight and understanding of the stages. Knowing the processes were normal. I do wish I had read some of the other books and this book prior to my mother's passing, to have had a better understanding. To have an understanding what my mother was going thorugh. On Grief and Grieving is extremely well written, and is a book I can refer to regularly.

I did not expect to like this this book but I did.

Though I know EKR never expected "the stages" to be understood as a linear portrayal of grief, that is what our quick fix culture has done with them. At this point in time they have become nothing more than a bad cliche so I wish this section had been deleted.

Fortunately the stages only take up 21 pages which can easily be skipped. The rest is an accurate portrayal of grief that many people who are grieving will undoubtedly find helpful.

Susan L. Fuller
Author, How to Survive Your Grief When Someone You Love Has Died

As a nurse who is grieving the loss of 5 family members in two months, it puts research findings into practice. It will also be helpful when I teach my class about Death and Dying as I use an evidence-based approach to teaching and helping the students to learn.

From a classic source and helps understanding. How to do it in a practical way may be better presented in the book Grieving As Well As Possible. Reading several books helps you make some progress through a difficult period. This one may the one to read first, and the Grieving As Well As Possible further along the way, since it takes some work to accomplish the tasks it outlines.

I found this book extremely insightful and gentle at a time when I needed a book to be just these things. It is written in a style that is both general and very specific at the same time. It spoke to my loss very keenly, but I felt it spoke to the concept of grief quite articulately and gave much needed permission for grief on one's own terms. I am going to get a copy for my sister and I recommend it as a condolence offering or for anyone who has lost a loved one.

This book can easily be applied to any type of loss although it is focused on loosing a loved one. The subjects that are covered can be applied to any loss such as a loss of a business, home, even a pet. A must read for any type of grief.

An excellent book to help anyone make sense of the confusing, frightening and conflicting emotions of grief. Suitable for all readers, regardless of relationship to the deceased, age, religion, sexual orientation. Kubler-Ross gently honours all losses and with such gentle kindness, and provides reassurance that difficult emotions are normal in grief. A superb book we should all be born with, and preferably read before we are bereaved.

This book made me understand my feelings of what I was going through. I am so thankful that someone understands what people feel when going through these stages of grief. I recommend everyone to read this book.

We are taught about so many things, including things we will never have to deal with... but not about grief. Death, and therefore grief, is (as the saying goes) one of the only things that is certain in life. You will experience it, so why not arm yourself with some expertise around what to expect and how to deal with it... for yourself and for others who are greiving.

I read this book during and after the loss of my father. It deals with many different kinds of loss and anyone would find an example that resonates. I think it has really helped me put things in perspective and validated other things in my grief and thought process. I highly recommend this book for anyone anticipating or experiencing a loss.

I purchased all these books for the library of the local Compassionate Friends chapter - which I am co-founder. I haven't had alot of time to totally read them all but, just scanning through, I think they will be helpful to our grieving parents. Delivery on all books was acceptable; books were in very good condition.

I have not yet read this book, but after reading the other reviews, I plan to buy it. I myself very recently suffered the loss of my daughter in my fifth month of pregnancy for as yet unknown reasons just 10 weeks ago. The worst thing is not knowing, and people unknowlingly saying the wrong thing.
I can sympathize with others who have suffered a loss. I've been there, too.

Unfortunately, no matter how comforting people have found this book, and no matter how much they feel like this book tells them the way grief works, the science of the past 20 years has overturned the theory that when we grieve we pass through stages. Science shows there are no stages.

Even Kubler-Ross acknowledged that the idea of stages was based not on studying how people grieve, but on her observations of watching people die. She then theorized that those same stages occurred during grief, based on no scientific evidence.

The preponderance of the scientific explorations of grief, which have been done since Kubler-Ross wrote this theory, have shown that people do not pass through stages. The best description of how we grieve is that we are all resilient. Many of us do not grieve at all. More, the healthiest people laugh and do other somewhat counterintuitive things when they experience a loss. Crying a lot is not a sign of health. The more people cry, the worse off they are over time. However, the vast majority of us, no matter how much we hurt after a loss and no matter how difficult the loss, are okay, often surprisingly quickly afterwards.

If you'd like an overview of the current understanding of grief based on rigorously tested facts, you should see the the book by the person who spearheaded the application of scientific methods to the grieving process. His name is George Bonanno, a professor at Columbia University. His book is called, The Other Side of Sadness.

Having gone through some intense grieving recently, I read book after book on dying trying to find my way through it. On Grief and Grieving was hands down the best book. Chapter by chapter, the grieving process is laid out to provide a sort of touchstone for the grieving to both know they are not alone and to know that their grief is normal in every way.

Ross' book provides reassurance in both outlining the stages of grief and providing stories of others who have gone through the process and come out the other side. I can't express with mere words how important this is. When you're in the 'valley of the shadow of death' you really do think you're going insane. To find out that what you're going through is both normal and healing makes all the difference. I had always though the 'shadow of death' meant going through something frightening, well, fearing for one's own life is a walk in the park compared with dealing with the death of someone you love.

We all can use help going through grief and its inevitable stages. This wonderful book lays it out and gives hope that no only is the pain normal but that it will end and the sun can and will shine in our lives once again. I wish I could have found this book sooner, but it has still helped immensely.

Originally read this book years ago and occasionally re-read it. Serious subject dealt in a straight forward manner. Excellent, not just on the subject of end of life, but other events one faces in life. Bought the book for another person who found the book helpful.

Unfortunately, no matter how comforting people have found this book, and no matter how much they feel like this book tells them the way grief works, the science of the past 20 years has overturned the theory that when we grieve we pass through stages. Science shows there are no stages.

Even Kubler-Ross acknowledged that the idea of stages was based not on studying how people grieve, but on her observations of watching people die. She then theorized that those same stages occurred during grief, based on no scientific evidence.

The preponderance of the scientific explorations of grief, which have been done since Kubler-Ross wrote this theory, have shown that people do not pass through stages. The best description of how we grieve is that we are all resilient. Many of us do not grieve at all. More, the healthiest people laugh and do other somewhat counterintuitive things when they experience a loss. Crying a lot is not a sign of health. The more people cry, the worse off they are over time. However, the vast majority of us, no matter how much we hurt after a loss and no matter how difficult the loss, are okay, often surprisingly quickly afterwards.

If you'd like an overview of the current understanding of grief based on rigorously tested facts, you should see the the book by the person who spearheaded the application of scientific methods to the grieving process. His name is George Bonanno, a professor at Columbia University. His book is called, The Other Side of Sadness.