Emotionally Manipulative Tactics Partners Use to Control Relationships and Force the Upper Hand

ByPamela Kole

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Readers` Reviews

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
lara tomlin
I wish everyone who is in a manipulative relationship could read this book. It contains cold hard facts about abusive relationships and how to recognize abuse and abusers. No one should have to live with abuse whether it is physical or mental. This book also helps families of victims have a greater understanding of how abusers manipulate and can keep loved ones under their control. I was disappointed with the lack of a good editor for this book, so I only gave 4 stars. Worth reading though.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
sandrine
I'm currently going through a trial separation. Trying to figure out what happened with our marriage. I've been doing a lot of research on emotional abuse. This book is the most accurate so far for my situation. Describes my husbands actions and my feelings very closely. Reading about subtle tactics is important for me; it's so easy to overlook them. A must read if you suspect manipulation by a partner.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
araam bayaani
I've never been in an emotionally abusive relationship, but I've observed it in others, and I always wished I could have helped friends recognize the signs earlier. Mind Games is a really helpful resource for those who have problems recognizing manipulation, or simply want to learn more about recognizing tactics. Because I'm a writer, I also found it really helpful in giving me new ways to shape my characters with realistic flaws. A lot of the information in this book was new to me, having not had personal experience, so I really felt like I learned from it. If you want to be able to recognize manipulation, this is a great resource to have!
How It Sabotages Our Lives - Where It Comes from :: Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps :: Trauma Or Toxic Shaming Must Know To Have Peace In Their Lives :: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships - Boundaries in Dating :: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change - Women Who Love Too Much
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
jane anderson
my jaw dropped when i was reading this book. it confirmed many of my suspicions. this stuff is hard to see on a daily basis because it all feels so normal. damn. feeling like i was wearing a blindfold for most of my marriage.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
heather unwin
I've read many books on this personality type. I deal with them at work, in my personal life, and with family.
This book is a good quick read to "refresh" my memory on some of the basic behaviors of this type of person, and it also refreshes my memory on how to deal with them.
Make no mistake, if you don't refresh your memory every now and then, you'll lose sight of what the red flags are and get caught in the same circle. That's why this book is so great-I can brush up on my knowledge without having to commit to a book that I can't read quickly before going to bed.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
matthew johnston
Pamela Cole teaches readers about the different types of emotional manipulation/abuse in “Mind Games.” Cole covers gaslighting, playing the victim, the silent treatment, and the abuser's time machine. Cole teaches the reader how to recognize these forms of manipulation and gives examples of each one. She also offers insight into why an abuser treats the abused person the way they do and how the abused person can learn to deal with manipulation.

I believe everyone can benefit from this book, not just women or people who recognize that they have been abused. For that reason, I recommend that everyone buy this book. The price of this book is small when you consider that the knowledge you will gain from Cole will last a lifetime.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
rebecca swartz
Interesting peek into unhealthy relationships and the manipulation that goes on inside of them. I m happy to say that none of these tactics are present in my own relationships. I always want to improve my relationships and I believe that knowing what is negative and what to avoid will be helpful for that. As for the tactics themselves, I thought it was very educational the way the author wrote them out and described them with examples and consequences.

A small phrase here and there can really make the difference sometimes.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
lynn mercurio
This book touches on the many ways we can be manipulated in relationships. It's pretty simple to understand and well organized except it really needs editing. Also, there are some who are manipulated but are not in a relationship and are actually being manipulated by not even knowing where they stand. It's a sort of confusion. I am a victim and in glad I got out of it before I fell deeply for this guy.
Overall.... I enjoyed the book.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
ivan remaj
This really brought some good insight on the different types of relationship manipulation from both perspectives. It really helped me realize some patterns in previous relationships and what to look out for in future ones.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
lynds
The silent treatment, occasional approval, gaslighting, playing the blame game - I felt like I was talking about my last relationship!

This is an eye-opening book that has a ton of practical application, whether it be evaluating your past relationships, your current partner, or planning on how to avoid these situations in the future. This is a book that more people should definitely read because of how common most of this stuff is!
★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
farzaneh moradi
This is the second what I would call a "mini or partial book" written by Pamela that has large sections that are written word for word identically to Ken Fisher's book Sociopath and Psychopath. One of these authors is plagiarizing. Ken Fisher has the same information in one full length book that Pamela has large sections typed word for word identically, in two what I consider "mini books".
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
admod
I read this, along with many others in same genre due to devastating end of marriage. Verbal abuse is cruel and erodes self worth but found the examples in this book hit the mark and began using immediately . Time will tell
★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
beryl eichenberger
I would have given the book five stars but it did not elaborate enough on how to handle an emotionally abuser/manipulator. Good advice on how to spot them...I saw myself as an emotionally abuser in some ways....which was an eye opener. I am a female.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
sue harper
At.times this book made me feel like cameras were in my home. Some actions listed are precisely what has been happening. If you need help understanding a selfish relationship I would highly recommend you read this book.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
maani
The author does a wonderful job of outlining the various methods used by abusers to manipulate others. The examples included with each section break it down further making this book a good resource for the psychology student and the abused. Informative and enlightening.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
tiffany smith
This book is absolutely life changing. Every word i read was eye opening. It was like i was reading about my personal relationship. It was scary. It truly was. Every single word in this book holds true. I am making the necessary changes need to break free from my boyfriend of three years and reading this book is amazingly empowering and life changing! I URGE EVERY PERSON DEALING WITH A PERSON ABUSIVE/MANIPULATIVE TO LEAVE ASAP!!!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
aditya
You just... you know this stuff, because you know you’re hurting, and you know who’s hurting you... but you don’t know how to get... how to... I’m not even sure. What do you do when someone you love, you still love, you’ve trusted with your heart hurts you over and over and, you can’t leave... because somehow that always hurts worse?
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
malaika
I was being put down for every little thing and it was always about her and of course she's always right and I'm always wrong. This book was an eye opener. My life perspective has completely changed and I can no longer let this person hurt me anymore. Thank you for writing this and showing me the light.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
flairist
I have seen this in my husband and I need to walk away we have no kids together but he's the only dad my daughter knows it's very hard knowing I have no one to lean on and no where to go with myself and three kids thank you for this book now I just need to find the strength in myself to leave and never find another one like this and stand on my own two feet. Thank you again. Christina
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
terry corallo
I enjoyed the easy format and speech while looking into the complex maneuvers of abusive people. This book clearly defined the subtly strategic ways that one can lose their perspective while in emotionally abusive relationships.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
suyash
Are you in a relationship or in a battle? If it’s the latter, then you’re going to need this book. Not all relationships are perfect. Sometimes, you end up with a person who’s only there to manipulate you so they can get what they want. You can learn how to overcome these tactics with Kole’s book. I don’t have a boyfriend, but I have used the things I learned here to fend away the tactics that manipulative people employ on me.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
st phane moracchini
Great information. I enjoyed how the author breaks down each type of manipulation abusers use and gives examples. I agree that they steal self-worth and it's amazing she reminds us we are not the problem.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
melanie carrier
It's refreshing to see a book address a topic so many people are afraid to touch. I went through and counted 14 editing mistakes. If the author would care to contact me I would be happy to give her the location numbers for each mistake that needs to be corrected. That in itself will give the book more credibility. Let me know if I can help.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
binney
Pamela brings up many helpful words and tactics that anyone can use to recognize a harmful manipulator. Although I do feel like this was intended for a female audience because the abuser is referred to as "he" through out the book. Nevertheless this book has tools for anyone that might find themselves in an abusive relationship.
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