Codependent No More and Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie (1989-11-23)

Although I have not personally read this particular edition of Codependent No More, I read the original print in the 80's and it was life changing for me. I recently purchased this book for a friend.

I did not care for this book - it will go in my next garage sale in the "free" section. It is the same old blah, blah, blah that I have heard and read over and over again in other books. Good advice but what those of us who are in a codependency role already know.

THE BOOK ARRIVED IN A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME, THE CONDITION WAS SUPPOSEDLY GOOD, HOWEVER THE BOOK HAD A WHOLE THROUGH AND THROUGH. IT APPEARED AS IF IT HAD BEEN IMPALED BY A SCREWDRIVER, MAKING THE PAGES HARD TO SEPARATED, AND WORDS MISSING!

Melody Beattie, a former addict, used to hate codependents (which she defines as "people who have let another person's behavior afect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior"). Codepdendents are most frequently the family members of alcoholics or drug users, but the definition is broad. Beattie thought codependents were hostile and detrimental to the recovery process. When she went through codependency herself, her eyes were opened to the world that these people live in, and to the potential for recovery if one can identify the problem and take positive steps to improve their life.

Codependent No More is a quick and easy read, and it will hit home if you have an alcoholic or a codependent (or both) in your life. Beattie provides example scenarios of codependecy, expounds upon the traits and self-defeating behaviors of codepdency, and provides self-help steps to move beyond codepdency. Although this isn't marketed as a workbook, Beattie provides checklists and open-ended questions at the end of each chapter, and a blank journal to record your reponses would be an excellent companion to the book.

Once you've finished Codependent No More, Beattie's next book (included in this two-for-one) Beyond Codepdency is a guide to the on-going recovery process. It also includes activities/questions to probe the reader's own experience and help him or her get a handle on their situation.

These two books are highly recommended and it is terrific that they are available in one volume.

These two books have helped me learn how to take care of myself and how to love myself. These books spoke directly to me as if Melody knew me all my life. I read these after entering recovery from addiction only to find I had been codependent since childhood. These books have helped me learn how to be. They are like Life Handbooks that I never got. I am deeply grateful to Melody for these treasures. These books have done as much for me as biweekly visits to a therapist.

First, Codependent No More helped me see the extent of my codependence, which was like a cancer that affected every part of my life. It taught me how to detach with love, how to feel my own feelings, how to own my power, how to accept myself and others.

Beyond Codependency really put my recovery into action. It covers in simple concrete unambiguous terms how to deal with family of origin issues, how to set a boundary, how to deal with shame, and how to affirm myself. The chapter titled "Breaking Free" is a personal favorite.

How appropriate that these are combined into one. I personally prefer Beyond Codependency, but it is more the nuts and bolts, Codependent No More sets the stage and gives you the big picture.

I highly recommend these for anyone who struggles with having healthy relationships.

This review is addressed specifically to men by a man.
When I pick up a self-help book, I am looking for help. I want the facts, the key points, the substance of the book to jump right out at me so that I can begin to immediately implement change. Beattie regularly frustrated me.
She is a story-teller. For example, It takes over 36 pages for her to get to a definition of codependency. "A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him of her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior."
The problem with this definition, and with this reprint of two Beattie books in one cover, is that it is largely meaningless without the stories. Beattie does not write to teach as much as she writes to help the reader feel. I often felt that I was wading through verbage to get to the point.
Looking back on my experience of reading Beattie, I realize that this may have been her point all along. There is a certain logical inconsistency in the male perspective regarding codependency.
To be codependent is to have a problem with "control." I have become convinced that the codependent control issues cannot be fixed by learning new control techniques. The cure lies in intuiting and feeling.
If you are open to this non-male experience, I recommend this book. If not, I suggest you try another, although I cannot suggest another title. I have yet to find another book that is as helpful.

As an adult I laughed at the psych scenes where the first question was "tell me about your childhood". I saw no connection to being an adult but then I read the book and I found myself and my behaviors laid out before me. It changed me and my life for the better. Looking back if you had a house that was crumbling, wouldn't you check the foundation? Your childhood is the foundation that your adult life is built. You are not crazy or odd so get over the stigma. It might not apply to you but just like CPR it doesn't hurt to know about it.

After years of living with an alcoholic man, I found this book through a wonderful counselor. It literally saved my life. I started reading and found myself within the pages. This book opened my heart and my mind to the good things life had for me. Melody's book, Beyond Codependency, is also life-changing.

An awesome book written by someone who has been there! If you are enabling someone this is a must read book for you. Melody has done an incredible job describing the problem and how to solve it. The book has been a great help to my friend whom I purchased it for. The seller sent the book on time and it was in great condition.