Adult Children of Alcoholics

Not at all what I was expecting or hoping for. Really don't waste your money on this book unless you just want a book to basically say "did you feel like this? Me too." Very disappointing, no help, no tips, nothing but a waste of time.

Not at all what I was expecting or hoping for. Really don't waste your money on this book unless you just want a book to basically say "did you feel like this? Me too." Very disappointing, no help, no tips, nothing but a waste of time.

This was recommended by a "professional". I got about 1/3 through and could not read it any more. It contained nothing new or earth shattering and I disagreed with some of the wisdom. Try it if you want, but don't hold out too much hope that it will be insightful.

Did not like this book at all. It was recommended to me by a therapist but everything it said was pretty obvious. No one is normal? Really? I had no idea. Didn't like her writing style, seemed more like a ramble than anything backed by data.

While there may be some useful information in this book, it's not worth the time it takes to wade through Dr. Jan's drivel to find it. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Families with alcoholic members don't fit into a mold - just like "normal" families don't fit into a mold. Save your time and money. Skip this book.

This tiny book provides so much value for those who grew up in a troublesome home environment. While I did not suffer from a traditional alcoholic home life, my father was an alcoholic and he left the picture to go to prison when I was 12 years old. I’ve felt like an adult for the last 11 years and I’m only 23 now. This book has helped me gain insight as to some of my unhealthy patterns such as judging myself without mercy, trouble trusting others, holding onto relationships that aren’t working for me, my deep fear of abandonment, and just never feeling like I fit in anywhere. This book is great because it really helps you see the light and lets you know that you’re not alone. It’s a short read full of examples and stories from people who grew up in this type of home environment. Your parents didn’t have to be alcoholics to have a profound affect on you. I urge anyone who grew up with a rough home life to read this book to try and understand life better as a functional adult. I’ll be keeping and rereading this one through the years.

It's a hard and painful book to read, but if you've had a tough childhood, it might help you understand some things about yourself better, and hopefully, start moving forward. It's hard to sum up my feelings while reading it, but they're roughly what the author predicts they would be - pain, anger and grief. However, she also predicts reactions such as relief (that you're not alone in this) and happiness at being able to move forward. Perhaps you will experience those reactions while reading this.

One thing that must be said about this book though, is that it's NOT a solution roadmap - but perhaps it can be the first step towards finding one. It merely states what happens to adult children of alcoholics, or what can happen, and gives brief guidelines on how to move forward. But it won't give you in depth ideas. However, the author states that that wasn't the purpose of the book to begin with, so just don't go in with these expectations.

From what I've gathered, this was a trailblazing book - in a time when the focus was on the alcoholics themselves, and the problems of codependents were treated as if inexistent. This book started the dialog about this, and that's why it's important. Perhaps there are now more books on the subject that are focused on possible solutions on how to move past the problems that are outlined in Adult Children of Alcoholics. But I believe that this will remain an important read on the subject for many years to come.

I bought this book expecting that the "expanded edition" meant an update to the original book. I was severely disappointed. There are more personal stories and quotes from the adult children and very little research backing up any statement. I was appalled to read the the author was telling one patient to "let out his anger" by screaming and pounding things when it would not hurt someone. Neglecting to understand that these outbursts could hurt his wife who would be in the car when he did this. This theory of harmless anger has been discredited since the 80s. It doesn't let it out - anger builds from these outbursts.

I was also floored to read that one patient was quoted as saying that his suffering led him to have such low self-esteem that he always dated "fat and otherwise undesirable women". OK, that's his right to say this and he should feel free to express himself. But does the author have so few examples and quotes that she had to include this one?

There are better books now out there. this one needs to go to the vault.

This was a very helpful book. My grandfather was an alcoholic. Although his dependence on alcohol was hidden from us as we grew up, it strongly impacted our family dynamics and still carries over to today....54 years after he passed away! I finally understand why certain people in our family do what they do and why the others allow it. I finally no longer see myself as the black sheep and have learned how to prevent individuals from triggering negative responses in me. I am so grateful this book was recommended to me. It is a life changer.

This book changed my life in the most profound ways that any book has ever affected me. It brought insight, understanding, kindness, consideration and an array of empathic feelings that I had never experienced previously. In short, it assisted me to finally come out of denial about how challenging it actually was to grow up in a home of dysfunction. One of the symptoms of growing up in this type of a home is we come to minimize our own feelings which becomes an ever increasing dysfunction as we walk thru the journey of life. This dysfunction puts us at a disadvantage in careers, relationships, family and friends. What makes it even more insidious is we don't even know we are at a disadvantage so we continually blame ourselves for the outcomes.

As I read this book I was in constant denial about it being my reality until I read the description of a reoccurring nightmare in the book that was a nightmare I continually had as a child. I had never shared this nightmare with anyone. That is when I realized I had work to do because someone was actually telling me 1} my own nightmare, 2} why I was having the nightmare and 3} what do do about it. This book changed my life!

Michael Williams
Dysfunctional Child Publishing
Author of “Earning My Parents’ Love”
http://www.the store.com/Earning-Parents-Love-Alcoholism-Dysfunction/dp/0615958362

This was one of the first ACA books available that I can remember. I read this close to 30 (!) years ago, and it started me down a path towards self discovery and recovery. This book, coupled with the family counseling I received as a teenager, saved my life. I would not be the person, partner, or parent, that I am today without having read this book.

This book was one of the first that was was directed as a self help guide for people like me, those who had grown up in alcoholic families that themselves did not use/abuse alcohol. For adult children who do use alcohol and drugs, there is AA, NA, etc. For those of us that did not use alcohol, there were not support groups or much help for us. Al-Anon didn't apply to me. AA didn't apply to me. Before I found this book, I felt like an island. I had all of these issues but didn't really understand them...and this book helped me with that.

Not every author or person resonates with everyone. This did for me.

I discovered this book 30 years ago, as a PA student, when recommended to me by a preceptor on my Psychiatry rotation. I've read it several times over the years and have been able to share the knowledge, and my own experience as an ACOA, with my patients. The book is very helpful in showing us some of the reasons we act, feel, and do the things we do. It doesn't give us a free pass however, and gives advice on how to break away from patterns we thought we're irreparable. If you're an ACOA yourself, or work in any type of psychiatric/psychological field, this book will be very insightful. I highly recommend it.

I like it. Good for a newcomer to the ideas of ACOA. It is hard to rate some of these books. All parts of recovery are both good and bad, sometimes at the same time. It does jump out at different points (as the reader notices at any given time) even on rereads.

If you are new to recovery, this will excite you because you will see yourself in the stories. If you have been in recovery for a while, you will like it overall, but are also likely to feel the pinch of the reminder that recovery is a lifelong endeavor, out of which you can slip easily.

I can remember very clearly that day in '75 when my dad came home from the grocery store with an enormous green jug of some kind of liquid and I, being only ten years old, innocently asked him, "What's that dad?" He just kind of smiled a me and said, "Oh, that? That's joy juice, Johnny."

I just kind of laughed it off.

By the time I was fifteen years old I began to notice how quickly that "Joy Juice" seemed to disappear. My dad would buy maybe three or four of them aweek and not only were they in the refridgerator but I also found them in his closet.

By the time I was twently, I realized that that stuff my dad called "Joy Juice" did not really give him any kind of joy at all. In fact, the more of it he drank, the meaner he got...at least that was my perception. Maybe I noticed it more than my other siblings because for some reason I bore the brunt of his anger. I felt as though I was the source of all his disappointment and anger. I often felt guilty abut my dad's drinking. If only I stayed in college then my dad wouldn't have drank so much...if only I loved him more than he wouldn't need to drink...if only...if only...if only...I even thought that if I ended my own life, my dad's would be so much better.

After a botched suicide attempt, I was literally thrown into the world of healing and recovery. A lot of the books that I read at that time came to me rather than me coming to them. Such is the case with this book.

My eyes well up with tears when I think of this devastatingly beautiful book. It was the first book that told me what my condition really was; I was an adult child of an alcoholic. Those words were not a soothing balm. They sting just as much now as they did when I first read them.

I remember thinking, but my dad can't be an alcoholic. My uncle was, that was for sure. They found Uncle Ralph dead in a South Carolina gutter. He never knew how to handle his life, but my dad was a brilliant man and an incredible English teacher who had won more than his fair share of awards. He was witty and charming and people loved him but my dad had more than a few demons wandering around in his psyche and when those demons got the better of him he was dark and lonely, insecure and afraid. He was running from something but I never quite knew what it was.

This book made me so angry that I could only read a paragraph at a time at first. I often felt while reading it the urge to scream while still on other days I often found myself running to the bathroom and throwing up due to the stress I was feeling about confronting my own demons regarding my dad's alcoholism.

But even though I was learning about my dad's illness - and that is exactly what alcoholism is, I was, at age 25, going to the bars with my best friend and getting drunk at least 4 nights out of seven and one night, I guess they call this a "moment of clarity" I looked at my friend(whose mother was also an alcoholic) after drinking my third Stoli's on the rocks and I said, "Hey, do you think we're becoming alcoholics like our parents?" He looked at me and just smiled, "Well, if we're not than we are kinduv wasting our money." And I looked at him and I just remember feeling partially frozen and partially horrified and I looked at that glass of vodka and back at my friend and said, "If that's the case, then I don't want to do this anymore." And I walked out of that bar feeling alone, scared, and yet willing to have my life completely change.

I finally got through this book and then I read it again and again. I finally got the urge to attend an Al-Anon meeting and I stood up and said those words that often change lives, "My name is John and I'm the child of an alcoholic..." And the weight that came off my shoulders that evening was so incredible.

Who knew I had wings? That was all I needed to say. That was all I ever needed to say.

Last month my dad was admitted into the ER. His drinking had finally caught up with him. He had permanently damaged his central nervous system and has thrown his balance completely off. I sat with him at his bedside as he told the doctor that he only drank "a glass or two". At almost 81 years old, he's still lying. But his lies are more and more transparent. The doctor knew he was dealing with an alcoholic but I knew that this man laying in that bed was a brilliant teacher, a witty and charming man, a man who had his demons, a man who once completely terrified me and had me convinced me that I wasn't "good enough", a man suffering from the dis-ease of alcoholism and I just held his hand.

I love this book but I am more than an adult child of an alcoholic just as the alcoholic is more than an alcoholic. We are all children of Love, of Life, of Light Itself. We all have wings and if we are willing to go through the darkness, we will find light...not by analyzing the darkness...but by admitting to ourselves that we are good enough to heal our lives and bring forth who we already are within.

Peace and Blessings,
john, "the Light Coach"

This book is both fascinating and painful to read at the same time. I found that after decades of denial, that I actually had to be ready to be receptive to its information. It's so spot-on and easy to understand. It's very, very difficult at times to realize how much I've missed out on life because of my childhood experiences.

I would recommend this, not only for children of alcoholics, but for spouses of alcoholics as well. It will help a lot.

A book, any book is only a collection of words on paper; it's the thoughts and beliefs of another person. As such a book can't change the way you behave. However, what it can do is provide you with the tools to enable you to make your own changes. For those who were children in a family where alcohol was used in an unhealthy manner there are a select groups of books that help provided the tools for such change - Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Geringer Woititz is one of those books.
This is a simple book, it avoids jargon and academic theories and as a result is clear to read and therefore easy to understand. The book will mean different things to different people, depending on experience and perspective. Therefore, Woititz herself suggests the book may be useful in a number of ways:
To gain greater knowledge and understanding of what it means to be a child harmfully effected by a parent's use of alcohol.
As a self-help guide, for use in an individual's move towards development and growth.
As a basis for discussion groups for adult children of alcoholics.
The book is broken down into four linked chapters: What happened to you as a child, What is happening to you now, Breaking the cycle and What about your children. Each chapter is short yet to the point (indeed the book is only 106 pages long) and gives the reader an insight into the there and thens, the here and nows and possibilities of the future.
I grew up in a family where one of my parents used alcohol in a way that was destructive not only to her but to her children. As a child I had no idea of what to expect in my family - the only constant that I knew was that on a regular basis my mum would be drunk when I came home from school. I took on the role of the hero in my family - perhaps by my achievements somehow my family would be normal. My mum stopped drinking when I was ten but the seeds had already been sown for me, my patterns had been established. My script was to achieve and that's what I did: good in school and at sports, a Degree and a Masters, a counselling qualification, a series of relationships where I was the helper. And then it stopped, I began to realise that my life was shaped and often directed by the events of my childhood. Along with some therapy, books like Adult Children of Alcoholics enabled me to make some healthy and liberating changes in my life.
I now work as a Counsellor for individuals with alcohol related problems. I use a lot of what is in this book as a theme to my work. I do this because there are truths in the book that will apply to many people who could be defined as adult children of alcoholics. My only criticism is that the book could be longer. It feels like the first part of a book about Adult Children of Alcoholics with the second part - an in-depth exploration into working through some of the major issues - mentioned but not expanded on. That aside, this is an excellent book. Use it as a signpost for the changes that you want to make in your life.

I found this book in the early l980's. It was a door opener to my history, my identity, my relationship patterns (and failures), my addictions, etc. etc. Some books are turning points. This one is a MAJOR PIVOT! I encourage anyone who thinks they may remotely identify with this book to get it. Then go immediately to an Adult Children of Alcoholics 12-step meeting..even before it comes in the mail. And listen. Find out that you may be one of 4 family types: hero, mascot, rebel or invisible one. Find out that the "elephant in the living room" is alcholism and that its not your fault and that you couldn't stop it, prevent it, or rescue them or yourself from it. But find out what recovery is like..that there is life after trauma. This book will be a powerful guide to all thats been hurting you. God bless you in your journey! Go to at least six meetings before you decide its not for you. Take kleenex. And listen! Someone will tell your life story within six meetings. How to find a meeting? Call your local AA number and ask them where the ACOA or ACA meetings are. If they don't have them in your area, ask for CODA (codependents anonymous), if they don't have them, ask for Al-anon. But GO!!!

This ground breaking book changed my life in many ways. It inspired me to attend my first of many ACOA meetings, enabled me to understand things about myself I doubt I would have discovered in any other way. It enriched my own work with limiting beliefs beyond my wildest imagining. That led me to create and teach a workshop and write a book about how we form beliefs during painful times and continue to live by them. Everyone has a past, but we adult children of alcoholics and addicts share experiences that are hard for others to understand. I am forever grateful to Janet Woititz for her contribution to me and the millions of people who have read her book. Travelling Free: How to Recover From the Past

This is a really good primer for adult children of alcoholics to identify their various birth-order roles. This is one of the books I recommend to my counseling clients (families of alcoholics).
The other book I always recommend is "Getting Them Sober, volume one'' which has hundreds of suggestions for sobriety and recovery that the spouse or partner can do--- and especially good for adult children of alcoholics who find themselves also involved, as adults, with an alcoholic partner. (My clients have had tremendous success in doing the suggestions and many have had their spouses get sober, as a result).
Another book I recommend is John Bradshaw's "Healing the Shame that binds you''... great to identify toxic shame that hurts us. And the CD album is actually even better than the book. Good for men in recovery, especially.

This book offers an excellent overview and introduction to the impact of growing up in a family where one or both parents abuse alcohol. It is a terrific resource for counselors or individuals alike. The book gives readers excellent information to help them make changes in their lives. The vignettes give the book a more personal feel. It doesn't come across like a dry, academic textbook. I found that the information made sense and was quite useful. It helped me grow and come to terms with some things from my childhood.
Counselors who read the book will find that it is short on theory. It's also a little shorter and more general than I would like. The author does make some broad generalizations. It would be worth reading as a text to guide discussion in a support group. It could also be given to clients to augment individual counseling/therapy. Some of the stories may give a professional added insight that a college course, which is by its very nature more theoretical and academic, may not provide.
Despite the few flaw I've noted, this is a very worthwhile book for either laypersons who grew up in a home where alcohol was a problem, or for the professionals who seek to support and help them.

If you are the adult child of an alcoholic, or like me--the adult child of adult children of alcoholics, you might be confused as to why and how it is your life--no matter how hard you seem to try, ends up in a mess.

We ACoA's have all the greatest intents in the world--but for some unknown reason--we just can't ever seem to find peace.

And then one day we snap--we just can't take the bull@#$& anymore. We get to a point in our lives when we are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Nothing we have done has ever worked. People rely on us way too much, and even talk about us when we aren't present. The people we've tried to take care of, stab us in the backs, and say and do things that are imaginable. We presumed that because we were so good--and so caring--and so thoughtful--that others would extend the same consideration. And then one day--we wake up.

When you are the ACoA, sometimes the connections to our own 'self' are so distorted--and even broken--we don't even realize we are operating on auto-pilot. Sometimes we are so numb and so enmeshed with others, we have no comprehension of ideas that concern detachment. Sometimes we have been ignored, neglected or abused so severely--we don't even know we have a 'self'.

This book is a wonderful roadmap out of the maze a codependent life can be.

If you are struggling to come to terms with your childhood and your programming, this book offers you insights into how to unravel the dysfunction that is caused by alcoholism and other forms of addictions.

The authors amazing ability to make very complex psychological and emotional concepts easy to understand, is enlightening to say the least.

She is empathetic and offers great knowledge as well as compassion for we ACoA's, who for so long have been living lies drizzled with pain.

Namaste...

I guess I'm feeling angry after reading this book. After a lifetime of therapy, medication and hospitalizations, I find that my diagnosis was in a book. My father wasn't an alcoholic, but our family had all the patterns listed in the book--and I've ended up with all the symptoms but one. My complaints about the book (which won't change my rating of it): it does not address the very real paradox that medical professionals are obviously not trained to recognize or treat this! If so, why didn't even ONE refer me for this kind of help or mention a 12 Step Program, instead of throwing drugs and strange diagnosis in my face? Also, there are no lists of therapists in the book who are trained to help those of us who suffer and so, I don't have a clue what to do next. I wish the book would provide resources or a plan of action. Incredibly helpful book--but what now?

I read this book many years ago. It had some useful information in it that helped me identify some ways of relating that weren't working for me. I regret that I passed it on to my sister. I eventually became alcoholic. I sought help. It was hard, I was pissed, I was stuck being who I swore I'd never be. All the anger about my parents nightly drinking, and over the top debauchery wasn't serving me well, in MY recovery. When all is said and done, one has to take ACTION. One DOES NOT get well from reading a book. One DOES NOT get well in therapy, if one DOES NOT DO THE WORK. One does not get well by refusing to take RESPONSIBILITY for themselves. One DOES NOT get well, by playing "the past" tapes over, and over, and over....

My sister who is in her late 40's recently shoved this book in my mother's face, screaming, and degrading her. It's her weapon, and her excuse to manipulate, and use her childhood as a reason to not grow up. She has never provided for herself or her children, including having no fathers to help provide and raise them. This is my parent's fault too. She has victimized her own children, but she's so self righteous she can't see herself as being abusive. She's psychologically savvy with all kinds of terminology, but it's only made her dangerous. My parents have bailed out, provided for, paid for... her existence to remain a victim. Of course, when we refuse to look at ourselves, we can blame all of our poor decisions on our parents... Is that sick? I certainly think so.

Our father passed away a few years ago. He would not have her physically living in his house again, because she terrorizes people when things aren't going her way. He had her number, and it caused a lot of friction between them. She's been in, and out of their home her entire grown life, victimizing them every chance she could. However, now that he's not around to put his foot down and protect my mother, once again she's moved into her home. She was being helpful, respectful, and understanding about our mother loosing her life partner of 53 years, and shortly thereafter mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and lost her last breast. Mother also suffers with emphysema, and now anxiety since the loss of our father. Our mother hasn't smoked or drank for over two years now, and I'd say that's a real accomplishment seeing that it had gone on since 1968. I think she drank to keep up with our dad, but that's neither here nor there. I was concerned, and I had every right to be concerned because now my sister has her victim rant full on.... She is abusive mentally and emotionally to a 73 year old woman, who has paid through her teeth, and with her health for all of her "sins." My mother has apologized time and again, and it's NEVER enough! When does it end? How long do alcoholic parents deserve to have their noses rubbed in their short comings?

I've done A LOT of work around this. I've been able to forgive, and come to an understanding that they did the best they could. We all are doing the BEST WE CAN, at any given moment. I believe that. I had to let go of the mother I "thought I deserved," and be grateful for the "mother I got." Compared to a lot of other children, we had it pretty good, always a roof over our heads, food, medical, dental, clothing. We lacked the emotional stuff, and it is important too. My recovery included tears, and grief, and anger, and sorrow, and humor, and peace. I'll think I've come to the end, and more of the wounded child appears. It's just more work, and what we resist does persist.

Parents make mistakes. Who among us doesn't?! Who doesn't take the struggles of childhood into the future? Who doesn't come from dysfunction? I came to understand, this was the cross I inherited, and it became my cross to bear. My parent's didn't have children with the goal of wrecking their lives... These behaviors alcoholic, and otherwise don't come out of the blue, all of it can be traced back generations, even if it APPEARS to have skipped a generation, it's still there.

This book is informative and helpful, but please don't use it as a weapon. I do not think my sister's reaction to this book, and others like it, is unique to her. Seek help, find freedom, and move on. Change yourself. Be the best parents you can be, and be kind to yourself when you make mistakes too. Just learn to love yourself, and with that maybe you can find forgiveness and love for your alcoholic parents....

Before reading this book, I never realized how many issues in my life stemmed directly from the alcoholics that surrounded me in childhood. I have always had the conviction that I don't "fit in" in any group. I found my fit.

Provides useful insight for adult children of alcoholics and answers many questions about behaviors inherited from the previous generation. Stopping the behavior cycle before it is passed on to the next generation is the hard part. The book does not provide treatment advice but points toward 12-Step programs and behavioral therapy for relief and recovery. The book was written during the "self help" craze of the 70s. Although anecdotally derived from years of practice and observation by the author, it is considered accurate. The book is recommended reference material for addiction therapists and their patients.

this book described me. although i did not grow up with my alcoholic father, all of my dilemnas and personal crises are in full detail here. the reasons for my loneliness, my sadness, my seriousness, and more are all told here. it's a short read; i've read the earlier version, and although i have not seen the expanded version, it makes sense 4 everyone to pick this up if you feel the need for help due to your past with parents who drank. it does also seem to hit other dysfunctions, such as co-dependency. i have read quite a number of self-help books, and i did see some of the same type of problems and advice. not to worry if you find the same thing to be true. reading essential, life-nurturing advice is something that cannot be heard or seen enough. valuable reading.

I suffered great emotional and physical abuse as the child of an alcoholic father. BUY THIS BOOK if you are or were in the same situation.
The outcome of reading this book and lots of therapy was a profound change in discovering why I reacted to life the way I did. D'ont wait until you are in your forties like I did. Get help now!! I found out I suffer with PTSD-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have read many other books like this one. They all helped in one way or other. Now because of all the help I got for myself I'm doing much better. So get a therapist and read all the info on this subject you can. Its not your fault! But you can do something about those panic attacks,depression,and the way you react to the world. Also contact A.C.O.A. the Adult Children of Alcoholics on the web.

In her study of adults who as children were reared in homes where one or both of the parents were an alcoholic, Woititz discovered 13 characteristics of adult children of alcoholics. When I read the list, I thought: "Hey, 12 out of 13 ain't bad." Only later did I discover that had I been telling myself the truth, I'd have scored a perfect 100%. And all this with both of my parents total abstainers from alcohol. How come? In her introduction, Woititz acknowledges that after her study was completed, they discovered that the same characteristics (and solutions) also apply to children reared in homes where, for example, there was an individual with a disability, nonchemical addictions (i.e., work, sex, religion), or some other kind of obsession that demanded everyone else in the family fit in and around and aid that obsession. Although my parents have long since passed away, I still find the book helpful in understanding some of my behaviors that even I find bewildering. And in hope that it may benefit others who haven't yet come to see the forces that helped mold them into the person they are today, I've made this book a gift.

This book was amazing. The insights into personality traits and situational details was extremely helpful. If you don't understand the issues, you cannot solve the problems and this book was very clear in describing some of the problems and how they came about when living as a child of (an) alcoholic(s). I highly recommend to anyone who is interested in the issues that come about as a result of being an ACA without being too heavy-handed. I couldn't put the book down.

I never understood why I did the things I did. I was given this book back in 1989 by my high school chaplain who explained that she too went through the same problems. Since then I have had an easier time dealing with my issues because this book tells me exactly what my issues are and why I have them. It is still hard to explain them to my husband, coworkers, and friends, however-it does not matter as much anymore-I have regained my confidence and have more self-control of my life. Today I bought my best friend a copy, no wonder we get along so well.

I read the earlier version in my early twenties. I am now in my mid-thirties looking this book up for a sibling.

The complete shock of reading about what seemed to be my life and behavior (the oldest and overly responsible non-child) and the life and behavior of my three younger siblings was profound.

This book was the wake up call that put it all right in front of me. It was the beginning of the end of my codependant days.

Just the knowledge of being that predictable was enough to set me down the path on which I broke out of the cycle.

Get the "Expanded Edition" if possible. Alcoholic issues and mental health issues have been around for quite some time. Woititz Marries the two in a wonderful owner's manual for your (or someone close to yours soul) The person close to me was severely compromised by her (sober) parents ACoA issues and the other siblings' willingness to buy into the insanity. If you can find a book called "Grandchildren of Alcoholics" by Ann W. Smith, it is an excellent resourse for people who dont see alcoholism in their own families, but perhaps do see it in their grandparents. Would love to hear from others on the same journey.

I began this book about 6 months into my recovery from a severe depressive episode. It was excellent, but I could not handle it. It brought on memories and nightmares I was not ready to face. I put it aside.
About 6 months later, I picked it up again. This time I made it through with no problem, and learned a great deal about myself. I highly recommend this book to any ACoA in recovery.

This book is a must have for those who are in a relationship with ACOA's. Without this reading it is nearly impossible to understand the complexities experienced by your ACOA growing up and how those experiences are potrayed in adult hood. After reading this you will realise there is hope.

This book is a must for any adult child of an alcoholic. If you truly want to gain insight into why you feel and behave the way you do then read this book. It will help you to gain understanding and help to promote changes that can be made to improve your life. DEFINITELY A MUST HAVE

This book is excellant for ACOA's who wish to gain a better understanding of how their childhood has lasting effects on their life as an adult. It was my first book on the subject, and a great introduction.

This book details issues experienced by adult children of alcoholics with great accuracy, and provides useful information about dealing with the issues in a proactive manner. Much thanks to the author.

The title was fitting for the content, and explained a lot of previously misunderstood personal characteristics, but the book stopped there.

More detail, more description, more "what do I do now" would have been more helpful. I've since donated the book to the library.

Pretty much right on. Situation is hard to explain to anyone who has not experienced being ACoA. Book hits about everything. Answers "why don't you just get over it". True, we guess at what normal is--usuly not sucessfully.

The book was suggested by a friend. The price was reasonalble, it arrived quickly and in excellent condition. I couldn't really relate to much of what the book said but I could "see" a lot of my friend in it.... I'm probably in denial, huh?

Here's another basing her hypothesis on what? The absence of scientific data? There is absolutely NO evidence that shows alcoholism is a disease. And, now, with people like this author, we want to name every neurosis a disease. Do you know there is (no kidding) a group now called Adult Grandchildren of Alcoholics? Come on!!!

Here's a bit of proof of Woititz' absurdity:

For Woititz' dissertation, she did a study that compared Alateen teens to similar teens with alcoholic parents. Her study proved that the teens that weren't affiliated with Alateen had higher self-esteem and were happier people. Wanting to forward her theories, however, she concluded that the REASON non-Alateen teenagers had higher self-esteem was because they were "in denial".

So, in conclusion, we should join one of these 12 step groups based on folklore and decades old pseudo-science and lower our self-esteem and happiness level. Then, according to Woititz, we will be healthy--albeit unhappy with lower esteem.

Where is the common sense in this country?

Please, instead of this book, pick up "The Diseasing of America", by Stanton Peele. Or, Wendy Kaminer's "I'm dysfunctional, You're Dysfunctional". Start focusing on healthy behavior instead of wallowing in self-pity with these 12-step pity-parties.

I discovered this book one day while rummaging through my friend "Eric" Fred Norris' bag. His bag wasn't even a regular tote bag or a fanny pack or anything like that, but a plastic bag, which is really weird. Fred just carried this plastic bag around with all his stuff in it, like a Martian. When he found out I was rifling through the junk in his plastic bag, he got very pissed off. Even to this day, mentioning this incident sends him into a blind rage. He does not recommend this book. 14 out of 72 Stars.

Sincerely,
Jon Hein

I first read this decades ago when the book first came out. The term ACOA and its meaning was new at the time and brought new insights into how children of alcoholics feel after they're all grown up. This is without a doubt the best book on what it is like to be an adult child of an alcoholic and how a person can change some of the negativity this upbringing can create.

It's a hard and painful book to read, but if you've had a tough childhood, it might help you understand some things about yourself better, and hopefully, start moving forward. It's hard to sum up my feelings while reading it, but they're roughly what the author predicts they would be - pain, anger and grief. However, she also predicts reactions such as relief (that you're not alone in this) and happiness at being able to move forward. Perhaps you will experience those reactions while reading this.

One thing that must be said about this book though, is that it's NOT a solution roadmap - but perhaps it can be the first step towards finding one. It merely states what happens to adult children of alcoholics, or what can happen, and gives brief guidelines on how to move forward. But it won't give you in depth ideas. However, the author states that that wasn't the purpose of the book to begin with, so just don't go in with these expectations.

From what I've gathered, this was a trailblazing book - in a time when the focus was on the alcoholics themselves, and the problems of codependents were treated as if inexistent. This book started the dialog about this, and that's why it's important. Perhaps there are now more books on the subject that are focused on possible solutions on how to move past the problems that are outlined in Adult Children of Alcoholics. But I believe that this will remain an important read on the subject for many years to come.