Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time

An amazing book with such sources mole tools. I have developed further from these tool sets to include a clean approach to exploration that holds the limbic emotional system in support to get to the human rational response. Well worth a read top shelf

I don't usually like to leave negative reviews but this book compelled me to. In short, it is a terrible read because it teaches very little, and the little it teaches is taught in an awful way. Here's the crux of the problem: Susan Scott doesn't appear capable of saying anything without using an anecdote or drawing reference from things that should have no bearing on the topic (eg. in this book she tries to get her points across via Winnie the Pooh, what Scott's high school classmates wrote about her in the yearbook, and reams and reams of movie scenes) Even the simplest messages are wrapped around lengthy stories that run for pages, thick with irrelevant descriptions of every agonizing piece of conversation. The problem with this heavy reliance on anecdotes is that it's dangerous to derive principles from them (and I would most certainly not live my life a certain way just because "Hey! This movie character said this/ did that!"). Statistics would have helped in this book but on the odd occasion she does employ data to back up her points, it comes from random sources like automobile.com

You can also tell from her heavy reliance on movies and the way she writes that she's essentially a failed novelist masquerading as a businesswoman. Here's a sentence selected from the book at random: "From the plane I glimpsed pods of orca whales. Striking swathes of ultramarine and emerald-green currents stippled the water." There are many more examples of this throughout the book. Not to be harsh, but this is a business-oriented book and this sort of writing has no place in it. No one is interested in hearing her wax lyrical (and badly at that) about how the sea looked like before she even got to the meeting where a conversation began (that's 2 or 3 pages later...). Get to the point! Unfortunately, Susan Scott fails miserably at this. None of the principles were groundbreaking, and I echo the sentiments of previous reviewers: this was a very self-promotional book and I'm frankly not sure who are these people leaving the 5-star reviews.

Of the 20+ books I've read this year so far, this is the one I regret starting the most. One star, no doubt.

The content is pretty good, it's just that the author is so verbose. Three chapters in, and I wanted to shoot myself.

You'd be better off just reading a couple of the online summaries. Edit those summaries down to the core concepts. Re-read your notes a few times and voila. You've saved yourself 6 hours and done a better job of internalizing the lessons :)

Excellent advice. Recommended by my mentor and now I know why. I am a self-motivated, respected, and fairly well-known technical sales person. I have won several global awards for my contributions over the years, however, in sales, few care about that. Managers come and go in this profession and I haven't managed my career nearly as hard as my yearly quota---until now. I needed a way to face down two bullies at work who were well connected (protected by upper management). I took the book to heart and came up with a way to deal with the bullies by confronting their management and asking for direct and candid feedback on my performance. If the feedback was real and valid, I would "transform"--even if the transformation was unpleasant. However, I would not accept any vague feedback, nor would I accept the typical management stalling by saying "I'll get back to you." When I was told that, I immediately scheduled time on their calendar to discuss any issue. No one has time for that, but it calls their bluff---or their inaction in the matter. It is hard for my non-confrontational personality, but I won't back down from vague feedback. I will manage the conversations that need to happen to further my career in a very direct and professional manner. The book helps prepare you to take your case directly to the offender (or in my case their management) and deal with something directly rather than risk the long-term impact of indecisive actions. What you are doing, by having the "Fierce Conversations" is leveraging the power of conversations to move toward your career goals. Or, in my case, becoming someone willing to challenge negative, or aggressive, behaviors by peers...and willing to stand up and take responsibility to listen, learn and act decisively---as well as challenge them to do the same. "The conversation is the relationship." I won't be the quiet victim of unproductive, unprofessional feedback. Nor will I be afraid to respond to vague accusations by desperate sales peers who want to pull me down when they are drowning any more. Thank you!

This gem by Susan Scott is a must read for anyone who engages in high stakes conversations on a regular basis. Though the primary audience is the world of business, the common sense applications of this work can be intensely personal. In the world of education, principals and other school leaders will greatly benefit from Fierce Conversations.

Fierce doesn't mean angry. Fierce means high stakes, intense--things that matter. The book is written in a straight-forward style that makes it an easy read and very helpful. Fierce is built on these seven principles:

1. Master the Courage to Interrogate Reality
2. Come out from behind yourself in the conversation and make it real
3. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else
4. Tackle your toughest challenge today
5. Obey your instincts
6. Take responsibility for your emotional wake
7. Let silence do the heavy lifting

I like #7 the best. Many times in high stake conversations, the less we say the better. The book includes a thick appendix full of helpful tools that can be used to apply the principles. She also includes a multi-step process for how to have a confrontation conversation that is absolutely golden.

One of my favorite lines in the book is her description of a true leader. She states, "The person who can most accurately describe reality without laying blame will emerge the leader."

Read it with a pen. You will be highlighting.

Imagine being thirsty for water. Now, imagine running a marathon for the water-stops in order to get that water. As it turns out, that's the way I perceived this book.
I wanted to like Fierce Conversations, I truly did. Susan Scott would reach out and grab me with a beautiful pearl of wisdom every once in a while, but - by midway through - her book became a slog. I am - by no means - saying that reading the book was wasteful and useless as I gleaned a good number of astonishing insights. But - for my taste - it was too much work to earn them.

The organization, in general, seemed a touch haphazard (unassociated stories, meandering chapters) and - as is the case with a good number of books on healthy relationships - there was some extensive borrowing from the wisdom of Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Those warnings aside, Susan Scott did offer a few truly helpful insights including:
* "The quality of life is largely determined by the quality of the questions we ask."
* "We can believe whatever we choose. But we are answerable for what we choose to believe."
* "In the business world, confrontation, criticism, & even anger are more socially acceptable than expressions of appreciation."
And
* "The very outcomes we fear if we confront someone's behavior are practically guaranteed to show up if we don't."

These, for me, are powerful notes that I will take and apply. They instruct me and I'm better for having read them. So there is some delicious meat in this book. You just need to be willing to carve around the gristle of occasionally repetitive and rather unrealistic offerings on just how much psychology and self-analysis a conversation can handle.

I must say that this book has made a significant impact in several areas in my life. I've been able to enrich existing friendships, spark new relationships, and help people that I would not have spoken up to courageously in the past.

My favorite thing to do today, when I'm mindful and not caught up in self, is to ask "What is the most important thing we can talk about today?" and sit back and listen. Not only am I often pleasantly surprised by the reaction I get (sometimes I'll explain "I've been reading this book" so that people don't think I'm acting strangely) and the answer always surprises me, too. It's never what I expect.

As I make a beginning in engaging in fierce conversations, I've thoroughly enjoyed interrogating reality and listening to other people's perspective. The hardest thing moving forward will be asking more questions than talking, remaining willing to revisit the interrogation of the new reality of the relationship as time goes on, and becoming more comfortable listening which comes and goes (sometimes we just want to talk about ourselves).

Francois Mauriac said, "If you would tell me the heart of a man, tell me not what he reads, but what he rereads." - Fierce Conversations is most definitely a book I will be rereading multiple times.

I really can't express how much this book has impacted my last several weeks and the many conversations that I've engaged. Susan, I can't thank you enough.

The type of professional self-help book that has good advice but treats its readers like buffoons, forcing us to trudge through many, many unnecessary examples and repetitions as we arrive at a few very simple points which could have been made in 10 or 15 pages.

I had to read this book through work, and I have to say it made a powerful change in my company. If you are tired of having the same conversations over and over with employees or your spouse then this book will teach you that the conversation IS the realationship. Fierce conversations are REAL. They are not mean are rude, they are robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, and unbridled. they are meant for confronting reality, understanding why a problem exists, and discovering the solution. The book guides you with 7 principles:

#1 You must interrogate reality. Discover the truth first.
#2 Make the conversation real. Take off your mask and speak the truth with tact.
#3 Be here. Focus on the conversation at hand, focus on it. No fading away!
#4 Tackle your toughest challenge today. Stop procrastinating. What can you solve that will bring you the most value, today?
#5 Obey your instincts. You know in your heart what is right.
#6 Take responsibility for your emotional wake. You must understand how you in your position emotionally effects people.
#7 Let silence do the heavy lifting. Slow down your speaking, take time for quiet gaps and to think about what to say next.

This is a powerful book that can change your life, your family, or your organization.

This is a worthwhile book for personal and leadership development. It contains practical tools such as:

1) The Decision Tree for delegation and professional development

2) A confrontation model

3) Questions for one-to-ones (fuel for discussion with colleagues and direct reports)

4) A Leader's Stump Speech: Where am I going? Why am I going there? Who is going with me? How will I get there?

5) The concept of our "Emotional Wake" - worth reading and pondering about. "An emotional wake is what you remember after I'm gone. The aftermath, aftertaste, or afterglow."

6) The image of the crucible to remind us that our job is "simply to hold, so that whatever needs to be said, what needs to be heard, can safely be said and heard."

And much more....

There are also many fresh metaphors -- one is tempted to keep highlighting the book. Rich quotations, references to books, music, poetry.... good examples and stories.

I also appreciated the "Assignments" and Brief Summaries at the end of each chapter.

I could go on and on about why this book is great - it guides you through how to have purposeful conversations with yourself and others, full of practical tips and ways to create meaningful conversations, and teaches you to hear and be heard well.

As a coach, I deeply appreciate this book. The main point of the book is to build honest, kind, and deep conversations, also known as fierce, since the relationship is the conversation.

I do not recommend reading it straight through in a day or two. If you do, you run the risk of thinking, "Wow, that is great. I should totally do that..." and then never put it into practice and losing the gift of learning how to have Fierce Conversations. How to change your life, one conversation at a time.

This gem by Susan Scott is a must read for anyone who engages in high stakes conversations on a regular basis. Though the primary audience is the world of business, the common sense applications of this work can be intensely personal. In the world of education, principals and other school leaders will greatly benefit from Fierce Conversations.

Fierce doesn't mean angry. Fierce means high stakes, intense--things that matter. The book is written in a straight-forward style that makes it an easy read and very helpful. Fierce is built on these seven principles:

1. Master the Courage to Interrogate Reality
2. Come out from behind yourself in the conversation and make it real
3. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else
4. Tackle your toughest challenge today
5. Obey your instincts
6. Take responsibility for your emotional wake
7. Let silence do the heavy lifting

I like #7 the best. Many times in high stake conversations, the less we say the better. The book includes a thick appendix full of helpful tools that can be used to apply the principles. She also includes a multi-step process for how to have a confrontation conversation that is absolutely golden.

One of my favorite lines in the book is her description of a true leader. She states, "The person who can most accurately describe reality without laying blame will emerge the leader."

Read it with a pen. You will be highlighting.

Imagine being thirsty for water. Now, imagine running a marathon for the water-stops in order to get that water. As it turns out, that's the way I perceived this book.
I wanted to like Fierce Conversations, I truly did. Susan Scott would reach out and grab me with a beautiful pearl of wisdom every once in a while, but - by midway through - her book became a slog. I am - by no means - saying that reading the book was wasteful and useless as I gleaned a good number of astonishing insights. But - for my taste - it was too much work to earn them.

The organization, in general, seemed a touch haphazard (unassociated stories, meandering chapters) and - as is the case with a good number of books on healthy relationships - there was some extensive borrowing from the wisdom of Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Those warnings aside, Susan Scott did offer a few truly helpful insights including:
* "The quality of life is largely determined by the quality of the questions we ask."
* "We can believe whatever we choose. But we are answerable for what we choose to believe."
* "In the business world, confrontation, criticism, & even anger are more socially acceptable than expressions of appreciation."
And
* "The very outcomes we fear if we confront someone's behavior are practically guaranteed to show up if we don't."

These, for me, are powerful notes that I will take and apply. They instruct me and I'm better for having read them. So there is some delicious meat in this book. You just need to be willing to carve around the gristle of occasionally repetitive and rather unrealistic offerings on just how much psychology and self-analysis a conversation can handle.

I must say that this book has made a significant impact in several areas in my life. I've been able to enrich existing friendships, spark new relationships, and help people that I would not have spoken up to courageously in the past.

My favorite thing to do today, when I'm mindful and not caught up in self, is to ask "What is the most important thing we can talk about today?" and sit back and listen. Not only am I often pleasantly surprised by the reaction I get (sometimes I'll explain "I've been reading this book" so that people don't think I'm acting strangely) and the answer always surprises me, too. It's never what I expect.

As I make a beginning in engaging in fierce conversations, I've thoroughly enjoyed interrogating reality and listening to other people's perspective. The hardest thing moving forward will be asking more questions than talking, remaining willing to revisit the interrogation of the new reality of the relationship as time goes on, and becoming more comfortable listening which comes and goes (sometimes we just want to talk about ourselves).

Francois Mauriac said, "If you would tell me the heart of a man, tell me not what he reads, but what he rereads." - Fierce Conversations is most definitely a book I will be rereading multiple times.

I really can't express how much this book has impacted my last several weeks and the many conversations that I've engaged. Susan, I can't thank you enough.

The type of professional self-help book that has good advice but treats its readers like buffoons, forcing us to trudge through many, many unnecessary examples and repetitions as we arrive at a few very simple points which could have been made in 10 or 15 pages.

I had to read this book through work, and I have to say it made a powerful change in my company. If you are tired of having the same conversations over and over with employees or your spouse then this book will teach you that the conversation IS the realationship. Fierce conversations are REAL. They are not mean are rude, they are robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, and unbridled. they are meant for confronting reality, understanding why a problem exists, and discovering the solution. The book guides you with 7 principles:

#1 You must interrogate reality. Discover the truth first.
#2 Make the conversation real. Take off your mask and speak the truth with tact.
#3 Be here. Focus on the conversation at hand, focus on it. No fading away!
#4 Tackle your toughest challenge today. Stop procrastinating. What can you solve that will bring you the most value, today?
#5 Obey your instincts. You know in your heart what is right.
#6 Take responsibility for your emotional wake. You must understand how you in your position emotionally effects people.
#7 Let silence do the heavy lifting. Slow down your speaking, take time for quiet gaps and to think about what to say next.

This is a powerful book that can change your life, your family, or your organization.

This is a worthwhile book for personal and leadership development. It contains practical tools such as:

1) The Decision Tree for delegation and professional development

2) A confrontation model

3) Questions for one-to-ones (fuel for discussion with colleagues and direct reports)

4) A Leader's Stump Speech: Where am I going? Why am I going there? Who is going with me? How will I get there?

5) The concept of our "Emotional Wake" - worth reading and pondering about. "An emotional wake is what you remember after I'm gone. The aftermath, aftertaste, or afterglow."

6) The image of the crucible to remind us that our job is "simply to hold, so that whatever needs to be said, what needs to be heard, can safely be said and heard."

And much more....

There are also many fresh metaphors -- one is tempted to keep highlighting the book. Rich quotations, references to books, music, poetry.... good examples and stories.

I also appreciated the "Assignments" and Brief Summaries at the end of each chapter.

I could go on and on about why this book is great - it guides you through how to have purposeful conversations with yourself and others, full of practical tips and ways to create meaningful conversations, and teaches you to hear and be heard well.

As a coach, I deeply appreciate this book. The main point of the book is to build honest, kind, and deep conversations, also known as fierce, since the relationship is the conversation.

I do not recommend reading it straight through in a day or two. If you do, you run the risk of thinking, "Wow, that is great. I should totally do that..." and then never put it into practice and losing the gift of learning how to have Fierce Conversations. How to change your life, one conversation at a time.

I did not consciously choose this book. A friend regards this book highly, couldn't find it in her library, ordered another and then found her original. I became the beneficiary...happily, I might add. And that's because this book so succinctly and smartly puts forth what a life of quality looks like. For instance, Scott says, "Each of us must first answer the question 'Where am I going?' before we can address the question 'Who is going with me?' It is essential not to get those out of order." She then goes on to say, "You will bring into your life whatever it is that you have the most clarity about."
While I did find this to resonate as true, the book goes beyond being a mere motivational speech. It is a handbook for those who are charged with responsibility or compelled to align the movements of masses so that some higher-order ideal is realized. How that is done practically is "one conversation at a time." Scott shows how to, as Shakespeare would say, "screw your courage to the sticking place" so that this clarity can consistently see the light of day. She has some interesting processes, guidelines and touchstones. My favorite take-away is to ask yourself, when analyzing a situation, "what are your pretending not to know?"

Susan Scott was a corporate coach who realized that people are hungry for authentic communications. She takes the concept of authenticity and mixes it in with good leadership practice to produce a book that is filled with practical advice in one's professional and personal conversations.
I am generally put off by simple "formula" approaches to dealing with tough issues, but Scott mixes the importance of reflection and courage along with a simple structure. As a corporate consultant who was using this book as a resource, I was prepared to write it off as too "pop" or simplistic, and instead found solid reference to the importance of showing onesself, understanding the value in recognizing that each party to a conversation brings their own set of "truths," and grounding our conversations in a solid understanding of who we are and where we want to go. Furthermore, she makes a point of using listening as a key strategy for leaders -- one that is often talked about, but rarely reinforced as ably as it is here.
Some of Scott's examples are stilted and overly simplistic,she holds herself up as a model of perfection a little too often, and she ocassionally lapses into self-help verbiage that is annoying, and a distraction from a solid product. Nevertheless, for those of us who need to persuade others about the importance of authentic one-on-one communication, or for those of us who forget the magic of intense one-on-one communication with those we care about, this is worth reading and acting upon.

This book was required reading for me, so I was not looking forward to it. I forced myself to read this book, and along the way, I did learn a few useful things. I learned that no one person holds the monopoly on "truth", and there can be several different truths for different people. I also learned that a fierce conversation involves one person asking lots of questions (and not making declarative statements) to learn the other person's point of view.

My main criticism of this book is that these very simple, direct points are hidden quite deep in this 300 page book. I think I had to read until page 160 or so before I really got into some tangible, practical advice. The author spends a lot of time with anecdotes, quotes, and stories-- almost too much time, in my opinion. In some paragraphs, the author just keeps inserting random quotes, and although they may be "cute", they are very distracting and tangential to the main point. Additionally, the author continues to insert the word "fierce" randomly throughout the text, and it sometimes feels like a sales pitch... to people that have already bought the book.

If you have time and patience, I think this book is worthwhile to read. Just be prepared to wait a while until you get to the good stuff.

Susan Scott has written an outstanding book on how to use everyday conversation to cut through the politics of work relationships and start talking about what we are all "pretending not to know". I was consistently impacted while reading it, not so much that the material is brand new, but that it is presented in such a way that the opportunities and misses of my own interactions were obvious.

One of the topics discussed is called "Mineral Rights", a type of conversation designed to get deep, past the surface and into the truth of what is going on. The approach accomplishes four purposes: Interrogate reality, provoke learning, tackle tough challenges, and enrich relationships. It has been my experience that this rarely happens in corporate America, and is rarer still where I work now. The book uses examples from various companies that have identified their core values and been honest enough with themselves and others to start acting on them. The many questions posed throughout the book, and the sections at the end of each chapter are a great way to start interrogating reality in your workplace. The answers usually are "in the room" if we can really get honest and start looking for them.

In addition to some great business council, much of the book focuses on how we get honest with ourselves. Often we are the problem, and our own inability to truly understand where our own issues lie, is an essential journey to better facilitate the kind of change we want in our business or relationships. Another great approach used is the "Decision Tree" to help build empowerment in others. Communicate clearly what decisions can be made and what must be communicated to others. (Page 252). Her insights into how silence is an effective communication tool, both internally and in interactions with others, were right on.

While this was all excellent, and perhaps the most well written summary of engaging communication approaches, what was the most powerful for me were the sections on our "emotional wake". We all leave an emotional wake behind us as we engage in conversations with people. The question is, what kind of wake do we want to leave? How do we want people to feel? This served as a great wake up call for me while reading.

Overall, this book is so full of great wisdom and insights I couldn't begin to do it justice here. From the opening examples to the very useful questions in the back and the study guides throughout, I believe this to be one of the best books on business and personal communication I have read. It is both deep and practical, both academically sound and real world tested, and is written in such a way that it felt like a conversation itself. Highly recommended!

Human beings are wired to be connected. It is a need of our brain, soul and spirit. What Susan Scott calls a "fierce conversation" is one of the most direct paths for two or more people to be truly "connected". Within our relationships, families and businesses, we hear over and over that trust and communication are paramount. Marriages, families and businesses are nurtured and destroyed by communication or the lack thereof. Susan Scott's book is a great eye opener into the key things we must do and practice to improve our communication and connection through honest and straightforward conversations.

The narrative Scott uses in her book is engaging. Far from being a "how to" book, she captures our attention with stories and ideas to which we can easily relate. However, it seems that she is driven by a quite profound and insightful understanding of what it means to have a real conversation. A conversation where you are your authentic self. A conversation where you talk about what you really need to talk about with honesty and compassion. A conversation where you are present and emphatic to your counterpart. A conversation where you allow for your heart to show through.

As romantic and spiritual as this might sound, Scott's ideas are very practical. We need these conversations. We can talk endlessly about the need for trust and communication, but it is only up to us to make it happen. Susan Scott makes it look easy. It is not! Her book is a book about courage, honesty, integrity and empathy all concurring in an almost Zen-like experience. Those things cannot be taught in a book. However, as the old Chinese saying goes: "The teacher can only open the door, but you must enter by yourself". Susan Scott is a remarkable teacher

Love - hate thoughts on this book so I went middle or the road, 2.5 stars. Some parts were slow and dull so I found myself glossing over them. Other parts, like the Mineral Rights conversation and preparing for difficult conversations, were very good. Much of the advice is Carnegie like so I suggest you read How to Win Friends and Influence People. I would have preferred the fluff been removed and shorten the book considerably. All in all, it was worth my time because of what I do at work but it's certainly not for everyone, not a book I'll find myself recommending except in very specific circumstances. Even then I'd probably tell someone to get it at the library and just look at a few sections.

Most breakdowns in life have some connection to conversations -- conversations not had, conversations that go poorly, or conversations not yet even imagined. There are a number of good books on conversations and this is one of them.
I tend to refer my coaching clients to "Fierce Conversations" when they are having trouble getting motivated and avoid a lot of uncomfortable conversations (compared to recommending other books for those who botch difficult conversations).
Susan's section on "stump speeches" is good for gaining clarity on personal vision (i.e., where are you going, why, who is going with you, and how will you get there?).
Once clear on "where you are going," it's time to start noticing and speaking about what "you're pretending not to know" (otherwise known as breakdowns -- yours or others).
Although "Fierce Conversations" doesn't cover the underlying emotions like "Difficult Conversations" or "Nonviolent Communications" do, or the styles under stress (silence or violence) as "Crucial Conversations" does, it does have some good discussion on "interrogating reality" (with an emphasis on questions and remaining curious) and identifying your own role in conversational breakdowns.
Fierce, difficult, crucial, nonviolent -- whatever you call these conversations, they're at the core of all meaningful relationships. I can definitely recommend "Fierce Conversations" to the mix of books on skillful conversations.

This book offers numerous useful principles that will help anyone become a better conversationalist and a more responsive listener. Read carefully because gems of very valuable content are scattered through the entire book, a sentence here, a quotation there, buried in long, interesting digressions about the author's life, people she's known and clients she's worked with over time. A judicious editor could have made a very sharp and effective pocket book out of this material, which is about managing intense, strong discussions with skill. As it is, you'll have to do some digging, but you'll have a perfectly good time doing it, particularly if you are a fan of New Age mantras and can handle a little touchy-feely vocabulary. We assure you that the lessons you'll learn about conversations - including fierce ones - will stand you in good stead.

"Fierce...robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager" - good words for real relating. Susan Scott puts it into her four purposes of a fierce conversation: interrogate reality, provoke learning, tackle tough challenges, and enrich realtionships. Like most really useful authors, she stresses individual responsibility. There are useful checklists and reviews. "Burnout happens, not because we're trying to solve problems, but because we're trying to solve the same problem over and over." This quote begins the 4th chapter - "Tackle Your Toughest Challenge Today," which has techniques for getting to the core of the difficulty in looking for a solution. It is one of many useful approaches in this book. I will share this book with others as well as continue to learn from it. Like all books of this kind (self help), only putting the ideas into action makes a real difference, however, the perspectives gained from reading are of value in and of themselves. The book is indexed, which I like, although not a great index. Occasionally, I felt the author introduced an idea without quite enough follow-through; still, I found a lot to value. Other books in the same vein that I value are the books from the Harvard Law School Negotiation Project (such as Difficult Conversations, and Getting to Yes), Tongue Fu by Sam Horn, and, to stretch the vein a bit, Everyday Ethics by Joshua Halberstam.

If we have ever needed a book like this, now is the time. Just think what could have happened at Enron, WorldCom, etc. if people had been willing to talk to each other about what was really going on? This is both a "think about this" and a "here's how to use it" book that can give people the courage and tools to tell others what they are seeing and believing. Don't be put off by the title, Fierce does not mean you get to beat everyone up - it really is an invitation to, as the author says - interrogate reality. Susan Scott does an effective job in weaving her three big ideas about conversations through the book. The ideas are simple yet powerful and can change the way we talk both to ourselves and to others. She captured me right away with the first concept; that our lives (and work) succeed or fail one conversation at a time, including those conversations we don't have. The book is an easy read. The concepts are clearly presented both in theory and with amusing stories and, best of all, there are practical tips on how to use the information. I enjoyed reading it and putting the principles into action. I'll be giving copies to friends and colleagues. This is one of those books that belongs both at home and the office.

One of the best books I have read in a long time. Highly recommend for employeetraining and development especially leadership development. Once you this one then Fierce Leadership. Awesome books .....businesses will develop from the ground floor up when we learn to have fierce conversations.

Susan Scott does a great job articulating what it takes to achieve effective communication. She speaks about having a "fierce affection" for others which helps in personal relationships moving forward and upward. I also loved her statement, "The greatest gift you can give someone is your attention not your advice."

This book offers a great way to approach difficult conversations. There are several templates in the book to show the reader how to do this. However, after reading it, it does tend to repeat certain aspects of the material. I am sure that some of that is for effect; but for someone who is capable of applying material quickly it can be somewhat boring. I still recommend it as a read, but I do not recommend that you need to completely read the book to get the overall message.

I suspect this book (and it's sister book, Fierce Leadership) is so popular because it goes over many things most of us already KNOW, but are often too chicken to actually DO or even try. It's like we're living our secret honesty fantasies through this book!!

Other reviewers have said "If only employees of Enron and WorldCom had read this book...". Upper management was aware. That is why they were tried in court. Too many employees simply exchanged their integrity for a paycheck... convinced they needed to "play the game" or ok with letting their co-workers have a conscience and take the heat instead of sticking together. The CEOs were horrible leaders, but the rest of the employees simply followed like sheep and punched a clock so they could have their wide screen TVs and vacations to wherever.

To sum up, this book doesn't say anything most people don't already know. Problem is, telling the truth has consequences. So does not telling the truth. Get your backup plan in place before you try anything you read here. Few people are going to give you a big hug and thank you for caring enough to square with them.

Fierce Conversations should be read and re-read by anyone interested in creating a meaningful relationship with a co-worker, a family member, or anyone in their life. As an Executive Coach and Consultant, I find that this book provides reasons and methods to strengthen and create "win-win" relationships...in business and in life.... one conversation at a time! Excellent, Excellent, Excellent!!!!

I listened to both this and "Difficult Conversations." I found that "Diffiicult Conversations" offered much more helpful, concrete advice, and the material was much better organized. I was disappointed that the emphasis of "Firece Conversatons" was almost entirely on business related conversations. Example after example focused on her executive clients. After listening to this program, I felt no more prepared for conversations with friends and family than before. There were a few helpful ideas, but they were presented much more clearly in "Difficult Conversations." "Difficult Conversations" gave me real, practical strategies that have made a big difference in my ease in bringing up tricky conversations and working through them with positive results.

One of those very few books you wish you had read many years ago! Over the past few years, I have purchased over 50 copies to give to others, have made it a mandatory read for every CEO on my Peer Advisory Board and for every Manager at Groton Wellness. READ it and put the information to good use!!

Fierce Conversations is a must read for anyone. Period!
Nothing else to say. It has fantastic information on communication and understanding. Two levels beyond talking ...and helps readers improve their level of interaction to reach win win results.

This is my business bible. I attempt to live this daily and be a torch for others. I have given out over 3,000 of these books one at a time to leaders and team embers. In the end, whatever you are trying to achieve comes down to relatedness and communication at the core.

You can feel the change occur immediately, with the completion of each principle! Start a journey and feel the change as it happen in all phase of life, changes only for good. Dare greats and do something that's going to improve the divine energy you carry every where with you, everyday of the rest of your life!

Fierce Conversations provides an opportunity for the reader to gain information while participating in a self-discovery process. It takes the idea of communicating thoughts and ideas to a new level and challenges us to think before speaking by considering the ramifications of what others will hear. We are reminded that any "single conversation can change the trajectory of a business, a career, a marriage or a life." This is an awesome statement and the author proved her point repeatedly through examples.

I am determined to address my most challenging "Mineral Rights conversation (you'll have to read the book to know what I mean) in the very near future. I will also recommend my writers' group members review this book as an example of quality writing that captures the audience, propels them to action, and encourages completion of task.

The information and the examples in the book are easily applied and really do make a difference. I used the book as a reference working with first line managers; it is especially useful to them in confronting passive aggressive communication styles.

When one of my clients needs to speak with an employee, a board member, or a business partner, I conclude our coaching session by adding, "And read Susan Scott's Fierce Conversations." Without fail, my clients report back that the book not only helped with the specific situation, but with all their interactions. One client said the book inspired one of his best-ever conversation with his wife, and now he loves her more than ever. Another client said he feels more confident approaching all his workplace discussions. And I value the book for Scott's sage wisdom, "The conversation is the relationship." This quick and easy read is a must for those who value workplace excellence and strong, honest relationships throughout their lives.

Fierce conversations should be a must-read in schools as well as in advanced education. Family and work relationships would be less stressful and more productive if these skills were used. Susan Scott has outlined well the basics in communication that are easily applied. This book is worth rereading and the skills renewed often. It is a staple in my library.

I'm not sure who's writing these reviews, but I read repitition after repitition after repitition, with a lot of confusing fluff. Asking hard questions to solve complex or simple issues. What's "fierce" about that?

The writing style and content just didn't flow. Wasn't real. I mean, in one section, she actually uses the term "bucko," as in, "Let me tell you something, bucko." What are we in "Happy Days?" Couldn't take the book seriously after that. Very bad.

Haven't read this yet but look forward to and working interpersonally in introspection of myself and how I might better my communication strategies in business even though I don't feel I have a problem because I am a good listener and very fair and respectful of others outlook on life, business and communication differences it will be, I'm sure, another interesting read and hopefully helpful in my introspection of how I might better communicate with others who don't always understand my "polyanna" attitude toward life - if you will. Smile

What a piece of destructive, corporate wanna-bees version of the world! This is an epic work worshiping the god /dess of mediocrity. "How dare you present things that shake the paradigm?" If you do, we need to have a "fierce conversation" regarding how you have upset our "etched in-stone" methods of business. You need to play the rules or out you go. I just suffered the humiliation of this as the background text to an "invigorating, uplifting" "retreat" in the field of education. I thought there was real progress moving forward with the "Appreciative Inquiry" movement, but I see that this trash, now the embraced holy text, is the backlash to that. Welcome to the cultural stage of fixed roles and top down directives where solutions are tromped into dust.

I had always shied away from difficult conversations, especially as I was one of the youngest executives in my company and was managing people over twice my age. The VP of finance gave me two great pieces of advice to help with this. 1) treat the beginning of the difficult conversation like a tube of toothpaste. Sit down and immediately squeeze (blurt) out what you're dreading saying. You can't take it back and now you need to elaborate and have a conversation. 2) Read this book, it will help you with the remainder of the conversation after you've "squeezed the toothpaste out of the tube"

Down to earth easy to read. One of the better books I have ever read as far as being an effective tool. If you feel like this is what you're already doing, then it will be helpful to another person at your job. I consider myself a decent 21st century manager but find excellent tools in this book.

Loved it, needed to read for work and don't like to read, this worked out great. Just like the author was reading the book to you. Also had a few tidbits of information that was not in the book as the author would explain some stuff in more detail.