Everyday - How to Argue & Win Every Time

I expected this book to have a little more structure in building and executing an argument but it does not do that. It instructs the reader to be passionate, tell a powerful story, and speak from the heart. This all makes sense but I was looking for a little more practical advice. There are some good segments but in many chapters I found myself wondering if what was written was the author's stream of consciousness at that point in time.

I was extremely disappointed in this book. It does go over the basics of preparing for an argument (pages 202-204). The other 289 pages seemed like an oversized sales pamplet for Green Peace. The writing struck me like a bad used car salesman desperate for a sale.

I have been trying to read this book for going on 8 months. I got it referred to me in a list of books and this is by far the hardest book I have ever had getting through it. I have found little to no substance on the psychological points of arguments, what arguments you will come up against, what type of arguers are out there etc. The only bit of advice I have found useful in the 200+ pages was one sentence which said to win an argument dosn't mean getting someone to admit they were wrong but to comply with what you want. That was it the rest of the book is Gerry smelling his own farts and talking about what a great lawyer he is. Seriously he cannot get more than 4 pages without reminiscing about a court case and dosn't even tell us if he won the argument or lost, results of the case, the point to the story. He is an extremely unlikable author the way he presents himself in the book which makes it of course harder to read and I imagine he is an extremely unlikable person in general

I was extremely disappointed in this book. It does go over the basics of preparing for an argument (pages 202-204). The other 289 pages seemed like an oversized sales pamplet for Green Peace. The writing struck me like a bad used car salesman desperate for a sale.

I have been trying to read this book for going on 8 months. I got it referred to me in a list of books and this is by far the hardest book I have ever had getting through it. I have found little to no substance on the psychological points of arguments, what arguments you will come up against, what type of arguers are out there etc. The only bit of advice I have found useful in the 200+ pages was one sentence which said to win an argument dosn't mean getting someone to admit they were wrong but to comply with what you want. That was it the rest of the book is Gerry smelling his own farts and talking about what a great lawyer he is. Seriously he cannot get more than 4 pages without reminiscing about a court case and dosn't even tell us if he won the argument or lost, results of the case, the point to the story. He is an extremely unlikable author the way he presents himself in the book which makes it of course harder to read and I imagine he is an extremely unlikable person in general

There are innumerable ways to murder a person, but the most subtle and pernicious of these is to mutilate the soul of the innocent by denying or downgrading their uniqueness and their beauty.

If logic and reason, the hard, cold products of the mind, can be relied upon to deliver justice or produce the truth, how is it that these brain-heavy judges rarely agree? Five-to-four decisions are the rule, not the exception. Nearly half of the court must be unjust and wrong nearly half of the time. Each decision, whether the majority or minority, exudes logic and reason like the obfuscating ink from a jellyfish, and in language as opaque. The minority could have as easily become the decision of the court. At once we realize that logic, no matter how pretty and neat, that reason, no matter how seemingly profound and deep, does not necessarily produce truth, much less justice. Logic and reason often become but tools used by those in power to deliver their load of injustice to the people. And ultimate truth, if, indeed, it exists, is rarely recognizable in the endless rows of long words that crowd page after page of most judicial regurgitations.

To excel in the art of domestic argument, one must master the art of losing.

Life well and prosper.

This is a fabulous book. It showcases a wonderful mind that is agile, deep and engaging and unafraid of taking on difficult aspects of human intercourse. It has a very practical, down-to-earth tone and is accessible to all. But, it is not a lite read and one needs to be thinking and paying attention while being exposed to his wisdom. So many insights and sentences that resonate deeply and profoundly. The woman who won over this man's heart, Imaging, is one fortunate soul, as she has lived with a man who has to be a great conversationalist for both the dinner table and pillow talk. Nothing on the planet is more appealing to me than a well exercised mind with opinions. This is a rare find of a book worth every minute it takes to read it.

What I don't get is how this was never required reading in my schooling as this is the kind of book every college student should be exposed to. Gerry has spent a lot of time and effort getting it right. It is a privilege to read his book. I read part of it while on an exercise bike and the time flew.

This book is an enjoyable read written by a lawyer who, according to Wikipedia, has never lost a criminal case as either a prosecutor or defender, and hasn't lost a civil case in 46 years. This was written in 1996, a couple years after I first heard of Spence when he skillfully defended Randy Weaver and exposed major problems in the federal government's actions in the Ruby Ridge case. Spence has defended Imelda Marcos and a host of others.

The negative reviews of this book seem to be by people who wanted a quick silver bullet, which is not what Spence provides. "Winning" has to be defined, as does "argument." Spence states that not every argument can be one, there is no need for a suicide charge. A "tactical retreat" is often a smart maneuver in winning a larger war.

The first part of the book reminded me of Plato, it reads like Socrates' dialectic. Spence (an ardent environmentalist) has an imaginary dialogue with a lumberjack, showing that if you can empower someone ("would you serve on a committee looking at this issue?") in their compromise, you win the argument. Argument is necessary. It's an important part of identity and personal growth. "Every boss should have a sign on his desk saying 'Argue with me,'" he writes. Spence proposes a new paradigm of argument: Argument is a means by which we bring about change, either in ourselves or others. It is a way to achieve an outcome you desire. What do you want to change?

"You are your own authority," and submitting to an external authority will stunt your growth. Both parties to an argument retain their authority, which makes "winning" somewhat problematic to define. You are simply changing someone without changing their authority, or accepting someone else's argument without relinquishing your own authority.

"All power, yours and theirs, is yours." Our power is creativity, joy, pain, experiences, belonging only to us. "Their power is my perception of their power." Others possess only what we give them. These philosophical/psychological points underpin his argument in the book. (These thoughts on not submitting to outside authorities will be problematic to those who look at an outside source-- like the Bible-- as their authority. Spence does not address absolutes in the book).

We should not live life skeptical of every little thing, but we should be skeptical. We want to trust the salesman, reporter, etc., but we need to listen and think. We also need to be aware of our own prejudices and cognitive biases, as well as the person you're arguing with. "I've learned more from my dogs" than any of the so-called "experts from on high."

Spence writes that you should always tell the truth. An admission on your part scores points with a jury while an exposure of yourself by your opponent undermines your case. Better to confess than be exposed and accused of hiding something.

Tell a complete story. Use pictures in your words. Do not appeal to the jury's intellect, but rather their emotions. Use simple language that paints vivid pictures. (He gives a wonderful example of how he did this in front of an audience hostile to his environmentalism, converting some to his side.) Practice putting emotion into your words. Think of certain situations where you have felt emotion X. Now pick a word you associate with that emotional situation. Say that word with the emotion you associate with that experience. Practice it in your car, the shower, etc. Practice growling, practice showing joy. Spence comes across like an old-time stump speaker or carnival barker; it's obviously effective. Make the "magical argument." "I know this man is innocent and I want badly to show you how I know..."

It is better to convince one person in your audience who will make a lasting change than your entire audience and they forget what you said by morning. "Winning" is the conversion of that one rather than the majority.

Spence concludes the book with great thoughts in regards to communication in marriage. If you want love or respect, you need to communicate love and respect. If you want a major life change, explain to your wife the entire story, what happens first, next, and what the end picture is ("... and we live happily ever after"). Spence regrets misspent years as a parent who saw his children as pupils rather than as independent individuals. He learned from his wife that it's better to show your children respect. If you want your children to respect you, show respect to them by giving them freedom to learn and fail, give them responsibilities, show them trust and watch them earn more. If you want to win the argument with your 16 year old, you have to star when he's 6. If you love unconditionally, people are more willing to listen to your argument-- the argument can be won without words.

The same principles apply at work. If you want respect from your boss, you must always demonstrate that you respect her. If asking for a raise, frame it in terms of the benefit to the company. "With a raise (tuition reimbursement, etc.), I will be able to devote less time to my outside activities, boost company productivity, increase profit, etc." Spence writes that corporations are amoral entities "No one has ever seen a corporation." The corporation exists to make certain people profit, so you win arguments with a corporation only by framing it in the interest of the shareholders.

I found this to be a highly entertaining and personally helpful read. I recommend it. 4 stars out of 5.

Power, Strategy, and Living - all part of life (and arguments)

How to Argue & Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Everyday
Gerry Spence

The title of this book is a little deceptive by design, because it is not really as much about "arguing" as much as it is about communicating. Gerry Spence, a liberal leaning, very successful lawyer uses the word "argument" in the overall position of all communication in everything we express, be it a courtroom, coaching a youth team, teaching or just everyday interactions

Spence's opening sentence is that "the art of arguing is the art of living. We argue because we must, because life demands it; because life itself is a argument." Spence opines that learning to argue is a mindset that gives one permission to get beyond the fear factor felt by all of us at one point or another. He offers the position that skilled arguments are not self-serving, but a means to show positive outcomes. A good argument is one in which the greatest good is served.

There are 16 chapters in three main parts:
1. Readying ourselves to Win
2. Delivering the Winning Argument
3. Arguments in Love and War

Part One Addresses Power

Understanding Power
Power of Credibility
Power of Listening
Power of Prejudice
Power of Words

Part Two is more about Strategy

Structuring the Winning Argument
Opening them up
Delivering the Winning Argument
The Magical Argument
The Unbeatable Power Argument

Part Three is more personal

The love relationship
Kids
The Workplace
The Responsibility of Being

I concur with earlier reviews that this is an excellent book those involved in regular negotiations. At times, his negotiating manner appears to have the simple manner of TV lawyer Matlock, but this style is powerful. Understanding and learning about different styles of negotiating is a benefit in reading this book S-L-O-W-L-Y because its simple message needs to be digested in pieces.

As always, feedback or comments are welcome.

Dr. John Hogan CHE CHA CMHS
HospitalityEducators
HoganHospitality

An old-runned lawyer makes a review of his history at trials, and, looking in his memories, extracts and destiles several drops of knowledge about the art of argue,and give us their secret to win.
In this journey, "Mr. Attorney" remembered part of his way out a little and quite town in Wyoming up to win famous Supreme Court cases. He adresses out the right way to be convincent: simply, said the trut, said it from the heart zone and with love. Of course, this obvius fact is not a simple matter, and in its main merit, Mr. Spence tell us the way to do it.
I feel strange, but I did not ate the complete worm he offers me: he tell us how to be credible, but I cannot belive him at all. This man just told us that Justice, Trut and Love are the truly motiff of his career, but also said us in facts to reinforce his argument, that he makes 45 million dollars for his refered defendants (and I supouse it is not his complete budget). At a flat rate of 10%, 4.5 millions looks me that this guy is not enterly credible when argues about his feelings. Justice is not his only motiff. Trut is not his only motiff. Love is not his only motiff. Maybe his ego is too big, maybe he prefer to keep anonymous in his filantropic use of that big money.
Why critizice him?? Maybe, because he uses too many examples from his life, and in the few examples from coleagues, he denies them. He defends simple people and simple talking, but I got the idea he thinks that honoring them is paroding "the'r talkin' ya see?".
On the other hand, this book and his author help me to understood some mistakes I did in my life. Of course, I heared too many times it, but he convinces me: "Winners do not try. Winners win.". I realy think that this man had make a good influence to me. I sugest you to read it, and do not said what I think now: "Why I did not find this book sooner!!".
At the end of the day, I can't belive him their marvelous and so-called idealistic argument about his living. I am unglady with him as person. But he convinced me of his technics. If you agree with my review, and my argument convinces you, then HIS TECHNICS are very useful. If you disagree with me, maybe you will waste your money. I feel so disconfortable, I can feel the fear he talks about. In the survey, you could read that he had never lose a (criminal) case. But he just had lose one: mine.

As a corporate director of human resources, I must argue often - both internal and external - and to keep my job, I must win more than I lose. With the help of this book, I have been successful in this endeavor.

I bought this book years ago about the time it was first published. After reading it (twice) I made sure I always had a copy at home and at work. It has proven to be a valuable reference as I travel down my career path. In fact, a couple of years ago, I purchased copies for all of my managers. I wanted them to learn the "secrets" that I had collected from the book.

The writing is very powerful and very real. Rare is the book of this type that allows us to glimpse the inner workings of the mind of man. Not hypothesis or high-minded theory but rather a visceral look at the raw power of good argument (and even greater power in the art of giving away power - strange as it may seem). I rank this book among my top three "management books" along with Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don'tand In Search of Excellence: Lessons from America's Best-run Companies

I highly recommend this book to anyone in management. Like me, I believe you will refer to it often. Michael L. Gooch, SPHR - Author of Wingtips with Spurs

This was an excellent book on argumentation skills. However, first you have to define what it is to win. What do you want to get from the argument and what are you willing to risk to get that? Through several examples he works out how to win by losing, how to win by empowering others, how to win by redirecting the prejudice of others or using that prejudice to your advantage, etc.
He spends a great deal of time discussing the importance of using stories to illustrate points and does a fine job of it. The book is filled with stories and experiences from his real life courtroom experiences and how his arguments affected the jury, sometimes in a manner that surprised him and sometimes in the manner he expected. Even when the results were a surprise he explains why, after thinking about it, the decision went the way it did.
The book is highly slanted toward the argument styles of a lawyer in front of a jury. However, it is useful to anyone in any potentially argumentative situation where a position has to be taken and defended. How to argue, how to win, when to argue, when to shut up, it all starts with deciding what it is to win and then moving to that point. It includes sections on arguing in the marriage and the workplace. The one about handling arguments in a relationship is a particularly interesting chapter.

As many reviewers and others have said Gerry Spence is an original and that to me seems rarer and rarer these days. That this book was written 14 years ago and that the world has changed drastically even since that short time ago, this book seems even more timely, relevant, prescient almost, and true than when it was written.
To me in a world almost devoid of honest emotion, writing about how to dig deep inside ourselves and feel and express and admit what's true and real seems like it can be a great help on a personal, family, community, corporate, government etc, level. His belief in the average everyday people of the world in such a genuine way, trying to empower is a wonderful antidote to a malaise and disenchantment out there.

The section of the book about corporations struck me as very sad, but hard to argue with. The section about children is very thought-provoking and also rings true. The author's ability to love people and also be honest about them and hold them accountable throughout this book is very commendable

I generally don't like lawyers, I doubt I would agree much with Mr. Spence's politics, but thankfully I kept an open mind, and put my biases aside in reading this great, very helpful book written by a generous person.

I can't recommend this book enough.

I have gone through six decades+ without any need for this cr*p. Then I came to the hour of my need, and found that Gerry has been working with this cr*p for about five decades, and I can absorb that experience for about $8+. I'm a fast reader. Now I have a problem...there's more of this text highlighted and noted than not highlighted or noted. I can't find the important parts! I've spent six months on polishing a future jury presentation scheduled for 1st quarter 2018 or so, and now I have to stay up late tonight and make wholesale changes to both structure and content. Gee thanks, Gerry! (I've also sent you a letter of engagement by separate cover).

This is an extremely helpful book from one of America's greatest trial lawyers. It is also an easy read. In short, Spence believes that arguing is important because it shows that you believe in something important. To go through life without sharing these beliefs is not to live at all.

I was initially turned off by the title because arguing can have a bad connotation these days (i.e. being confrontational). However, Spence uses the term arguing to mean sharing your deep held beliefs with others. If we all would do this, he suggests, we would all be more enlightened.

Most important, Spence shows you how to share your beliefs. "The first trick of the winning argument is the trick of abandoning trickery."

A note for trial lawyers. Although this book is not intended to teach trial techniques, Spence's message about being true to yourself when you argue in court for what you believe and in the rest of your life is well worth remembering.

I really did like this book, and I do agree with most of the writers point of views, but its mostly about him, and how he argues, I tought it was going to contain tips and tricks on how to argue backed up by scientific research, or multiple experts advice.
the first couple of chapters he does mention about body language and speech. but after that he just mentions his dislike on the rich, corporations, and bankers, and how much he loves nature and the forest. I did read the whole book, but I read books about politics, body language, and neurolinguistic programing that teach more on how to argue.
any good book on conspiracy will mention the scams of bankers and corporations.
and any book out there for couples will teach you how to have a happy relationship ship with your significant other and how to argue with them to keep the love and the relationship going strong.
The moral of the book is, ITS OK TO LOOSE AN ARGUMENT, or YOU WONT HAVE TO WIN ALL THE TIME.
But I'll admit, the title fooled me on reading the whole book. and I give the writer credit for that.

Wow! Alot of folks who have reviewed this book need a hug and a valium (a potent combination I might add).
Let me start by saying that the title of this book is a bit misleading, and intentionaly so. This book isn't about arguing as much as it's about communicating. Mr. Spence useds the word 'argument' in the context that everything we articulate- whether it's a desire to teach , punish, express wants or state an oppinion- is essentialy an argument.
The twist to this little tome is that effective arguing is not a act of selfishness but a labor of love. A good argument is one in which the greatest good is served.
I particularly found the chapter on arguing with kids quite useful. I tend to be quite authoritarian and rule oriented when it comes to child rearing and this little chapter taught me that kids will grow into responsible loving adults without being constantly hovered over and corraled into so called 'correct behavior'. This chapter is worth the price of the book alone.
I recommend this book to anyone who has ever asked for anything in his/her life. Well hell! I must be recommending this book to everyone.

When I picked up this book by Mr. Spece's at the library I had no idea what I was getting into. I am a Paralegal student two months away from sitting for my certification exam. I have been doing a lot of background reading to learn more about the intricacies and human aspects of the legal profession than I have been taught in my law school. I will definitely purchase ALL Mr. Spence's books over time and when I can afford them!

As I said before, I had no idea what the book was going to be like as I had never read any of Spence's books before. I had just finished another extremely helpful book titled "Thank You For Being Difficult" by Mark Rosen P.H.D. To quote the the store review on that book: "This groundbreaking book draws upon state-of-the-art psychological principles and timeless spiritual practices from all traditions. Filled with enlightening exercises and entertaining stories, Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People will forever change the way you see the difficult people in your life . . . as well as the way you see yourself". I had no idea how well Mr. Spence's work would go hand in hand! It was the perfect transition book. Spence's book addresses the human condition, how different points of view can all be true - depending on the witness and their sub-conscious leanings due to their own prior experience,up-bringing and in-born prejudices.

This book also has given me an exuberant "YES"! to be creative in my writing of briefs and legal documents to produce for my future bosses. Spence's examples of arguments straight from the courtroom make so much sense. He also discusses how to speak to a jury and questions to ask during jury selection that may reveal the potential juror's life experiences and possible prejudices.Near the end of the book Spence even offers how to cross the lines from the courtroom arguments to relations at home.

Since exposure of the TRUTH is the underlying pursuit of Gerry Spence's "arguments", his philosophy blends exquisitely well into our intimate partnerships as well. He teaches us how to safely "argue" with our spouses and how to engender a "loving garden" where we may grow healthy together by allowing our spouses and children to become the full essence of who they truthfully are. And in recapitulation I realized a strange twist in the overall message. Once I finished reading this book I felt a wonderful sense of unity across the many areas of my life; Work, Home,at play...

Own and read this book! I will be keeping it within reach when I begin my career as a paralegal!!

This is an excellent book on persuasion. It teaches by example, For example. read his arguments about the boy who had a confrontation with his teacher. Place Gerry Spence's strategies in the larger context of his approach to persuasion. I think the critical the store commentators haven't made these connections. If you're looking for simple strategies that tell you what to say in specific situations, you won't find them here or in any quality book. Persuasion is a complex art and does not lend itself to simplified tactics.

HOW TO ARGUE AND WIN EVERY TIME by Gerry Spence is a book that not only teaches a person how to argue but also how to live successfully. The author touches on myriad subjects, particularly while explaining the application of the methods of argument. I consider the author to be a a wise, intelligent, and generous individual who shares his insights for people to ultimately improve their lives. The author's philisophy, I believe, in a word is Justice.

The book is not about arguing per se but living a successful life, which the author defines as blooming freely. I think that is also Aristotle's philisophy; i.e., success is a life in which one flourishes. I must caution the readers that if they seek to obtain a book on how to argue, this book will help but I consider it more of a philisophical treatise on living successfully. I provide 5 stars because I find the author to be so fascinating and honest; his arguments about being your authentic self and how to work with one's family are very interesting.

Nevertheless, I think the author is, as he candidly states in the book, biased against corporations. He correctly points out the many wrongs of corporations, particularly the Ford Pinto egregiousness that resulted in hundreds of deaths. In teaching individuals how to argue with corporations to obtain pay raises, he correctly points out that one must link a pay raise to an increase in performance. Further, the competent boss will already be working to obtain a pay raise for a meritorious person prior to the person having to argue for it.

In conclusion, I feel compelled to thank the author. One, for writing such an excellent book and providing great insights. Two, for fighting for Justice and striving to do what is right. I found the book to be inspirational.

Mr. Spence describes argument as the conveyance of one's ideas. It is an easy read, and includes relevant references from his experiences. In my favorite part, he explains that when there are two sides to an issue, such as in a courtroom setting (but also found almost anywhere you look), there is a popular side (one with which the public sympathises) and an unpopular side. The unpopular side cannot win any points by attacking the popular side--it only leads to even more sympathy and support for the popular side. Instead, the unpopular side typically must convey victimization status to gain the understanding and support of the public, and to win against the popular opponent. The more you look, the more you can find examples of this actually play out in real life.

As the previous reviewers have stated, there are some words of wisdom from the thinking of Gerry Spence. There are also some whoppers, which detract from the book. Spence is verbose, and this also takes away from the book. This makes him seem arrogant. Also, as some of the other reviewers have stated, Spence is liberal and you can sense this from his writings.
One thing this book reinforced in me is speaking from emotion. If you say what is in your gut, it is a more convincing argument for an audience. Spence convinces us through his choice of words and tone. I learned some like minded principles going to Dale Carnegie. Other common sense suggestions such as thinking through what you say, then commiting it to paper are also there.
Suggestions on arguments in the family are also good sense. These are the good points of the book. Most of the rest is just fluff, and can be left to better authors.
If one is in the law, this is a great book. Other readers can look for better books on how to get your point across.

Well, first I have to say that this book is very well written. I wish I was as good at the use of adjectives as Mr. Spence is. I bought this book thinking it would deal largely with logical structure and identification of fallacies, ect. Instead, this book dealt with none of that but focused entirely on psychological issues such as power and control. This was actually a good thing and I learned a few things from it and made a few realizations about myself when I argue. I should however point out that less then half of the book actually dealt with this. About 60% of the book is dedicated to his own political and philosophical opinions which I personally am totally oppossed to.... He's also defended some real scum bags in his time and tells the reader how he defended this one guy from killing his own wife in front of their children! The defence was insanity, (the guy had a bad childhood but was not insane.) We the reader are asked to step down from our high and mighty pedistools and pity those born under less fortunate circumstances. As usual, not a thought or word is given to the wife, (the real victim.) Mr. Spence also makes some comments that I felt were absurd, (ie we give God power!?)
So I have to say that about half of this book I enjoyed, (the parts that dealt with the actual confrontation of argument, their roots, results, ect.) and half of this book I absolutely hated! So I give this book a rating of 2.5 stars, (I wasen't given this option on the the store scoring system so I was forced to round it up to 3 stars.) One reviewer before me said that you might do better to learn about this subject by buying a good book on rhetoric. Another reviewer said that this book could have been reduced from 300 pages to 100 pages. Both were right.

Gerry did a good job in showing different ways to present an argument. I felt the book was useful because it presented different methods to pose an argument written by someone who does it for a living. The book helped me in the business world because it helped me spot the techniques when someone was using one of them against my position, so I could understand the mechanics / structure of their argument.

The author is a noted trial lawyer; oftentimes arguing for

defendants in high profile cases. He advocates utilizing the

common man/person arguments in order to identify with the jury.

In addition, learning when to argue or litigate is critical

to winning. The concept of power is perceived. Even powerful

people are fallible and their exercise of power can backfire.

Jurors listen very intently for carefully contrived words,

sound words/bites and words which portray physical elements.

Credibility is important. At times, it is critical to challenge

the jury to contemplate undoing an injustice as a condition

precedent to entertaining a significant award. In addition,

it is important to appeal to a juror's self interest and survivalist interest. Some of the best arguments are dressed

with metaphors, story-telling and embellishment. Every argument has a story, a thesis and an extensive outline. The work is

a valuable contribution to the area of legal advocacy. It is

worth the price for serious legal scholars.

Overall the book presented a lot of good ideas. The best was probably the concept of story-telling. I always looked for better ways of effective communication but never thought of actually rephrasing my dead words into stories that are 'alive'. The listener/reader automatically holds his attention longer and more raptly and it truly works wonders.
I totally agree that 'winning is getting what we want'. If only everyone understood it. Very often do you see people exalting over defeating an opponent and goes on to tease or even insult him/her but that is not what we should be doing. If we are right, we should be happy that we have successfully communicated the proper view to the opponent, correcting his view. And if we are wrong, we should be glad that our mistaken view has now been corrected by our opponent. There is no embarassment in 'losing'. In fact, as Gerry Spence rightly puts it, we win on both counts.
He got a bit off-track in the last two chapters about children and work but those were the more interesting chapters I guess. I have to disagree with most of his views regarding arguing with children as he seems to write about a rather utopian scenario where your kids will self-discpiline themselves if you give them freedom. Unfortunately, kids abuse the opportunity more often than they use it.
But in the end, it clarifies many things about the philosophy about arguments in general and is in indeed worth reading...

Mr. Spence takes great effort to explain why winning can not be defined as the defeat of the opponent, so this book feels like a blend of a self-improvement guide with a negotiations manual. Obviously, this book conveys more suggestions to attorneys that for any other group of professionals. However, it can also be of help to people involved in activities far apart from a court of law, like a soccer player, or any other person interested to know about how to gain communication skills.
The chapter about how to deal with confrontations in the work environment is quite lousy, maybe because he is not a company employee, but labors solely for his independent clients.

I read this book seeking advise for myself. I often let others railroad me, and talk over the top of me-as if they know it all. I wish to learn to assert myself, and basically, argue and win more of the time. This book contains the wisdom of a very wise, and winning lawyer. Much can be learned from one who has worn many pairs of shoes, and walked many miles. I would rather have it 'cut and dried', without all the fluff. This book is like a treasure chest, to an aspiring trial lawyer. For the layman, reading this book will not help you negotiate any better, or win more arguments. I'm sure there are better books on the subject.

The book is Execlent because it presents a new way of
thinking, in the fisrt part Gerry represents his philoshphy
of life which gives the reader the understanding of his
power to argue, then in the second part he tells us how to
build an argument. In the third part he talks about specific
arguments, i.e. with your spuse, your children, with your
employer and in court.
This book is illustrated with lot's of powerful example which
help immensly to understand the content.
Gerry spence is a known layer who is very talanted speech
maker and he teaches the art of arguing well.
I personnaly used some methods mentioned in the book with
success.

Simplicity isn't emphasized, but it is fair for Spence to assume virtually all of the other books on public speaking include banal adages like "start with an impact statement" or "limit your presentation to 2 to 4 main points." I appreciated him not selling me a repeat of the basics.

Spence's point about emotion is no one cares to argue over or hear why 2 + 2 = 4. Consequently, issues worth arguing over are normally decided by a sense of justice, responsibility or the like, which involve emotions. I took Mr. Spence to assume along with his audience, with good reason, that you cannot persuade a jury, judge, board of directors or the like by logic alone. You must address what people care about.

I bought this book hoping to learn a tried and true method to win arguments. I found what I was looking for and so much more! This book helped me become a better person because it showed me how to be a good person. The whole world tries to tell you that "good people finish last". Mr. Spence, as a splendid foot soldier, tells us that he has found a fulfilling life in doing the right thing, in the face of oposition and in the full confidence that he would succeed. Lucky for us he did! Read this book and welcome yourself to your own future!

The "PROFESSIONAL" from Austin doesn't get it because he's to smart or professional. The professional from Austin reminds me of a friend that graduated from Law School who didn't know how to treat people in the courthouse and therefore didn't get any extra assistance. He would walk into the Clerk's Office and act like he was thinking (I'm a lawyer, anybody here want to bow down, wash my feet, or kiss my ass) THE BOOK IS GREAT. But if you are a "Professional" or a recent law school graduate with false sense of greatness, grow up a little and then read it.

Books with grandiose titles like this usually keep me from reading them (Hello publisher's marketing department!). A friend of mine recommended that I read this book, and I was glad that I did.
yes, many of Spence's political views (along with my own) are left of center. But it's the PROCESS that this book is all about.
I re-read this book a number of time. This book has helped me to become a better therapist (in fact, this is a book that I recommend in my workshops on using metaphor in psychotherapy). If you are a Jungian or otherwise interested in stories and narratives, this book is a good read.
We are all, in Spence's words, people of the story. All humans love stories, so it only makes sense to incorporate stories into our arguments and discussions (and therapy sessions and legal debates and....)
As I've said, I have re-read this book many times. I particularly enjoy the section on "the power of story" (chp 8?), the section on intuitive speaking and the importance of preparation, and the section on speaking and using your voice.

This is the first "how to" book that I've read that leaves the "how to" to the reader. The book gives a very insightful account of a man who has come very far through the journey of life by basically doing one thing- listening to himself and his feelings and caring enough about others to understand and work with them.
Spence explains his concept of what an argument actually is and gives a truly creative and exciting way to view the whole conflict process. His entire theory of winning an argument is more practical and real than anything I have ever read. This man is among the truly, truly gifted.

If you can set aside Spence's often annoying political views (especially his anti-corporate rhetoric), you will find tremendous value in reading how this extremely successful attorney wins cases. You will find nothing here about rational argumentation or logical reasoning. Spence focuses on how to tell a persuasive story, and how to use that to get what you want at work and in other situations. This is dangerous stuff in the wrong hands, but combined with a rational basis it will make your arguments far more compelling, whether you are making a case for a new business project, asking for a raise, or defending your position.

I'm a closing lawyer for a mock trial team, and I was pretty good before I read this book. My statements would get high marks consistantly, but somehow lacked the magic of winning argument. My statements were a laundry list of witnesses and testimony with an analogy and some sort of personal appeal, just like the standard intro, 3 body and conclusion essay. Dull and done. After reading this book, I began developing a closing statement more based on inspiration than formula. My closings began capturing the essence of what I saw in a case and appealing to the jury as a box full of people, not merely as a box. For those of you who are not lawyers in any way, this book contains fascinating insights on how we relate to others. Within the first 3 or 4 pages, I was nodding my head and thinking to myself "Yes, tell it like it is!" Gerry Spence is a fabulous trial lawyer and a deep thinker, and I reccommend this book whole-heartedly.
It's also the book that got me back into the habit of reading every night. Before I would just crash into bed exhausted every night, but this book reminded me of the value of setting aside some reading time, and I think I am a happier and wiser person for it. (Who says you have to be sadder to be wiser?)

The only reason I gave this even one star is because the software program wouldn't accept zero stars. Spence never even comes close to delivering the alluring promise of the title. For example, he advises the reader to practice public speaking in front of an audience. Fine. And if you can't find an audience for practicing? He advises you to "create" one. He actually suggests that you go into a restaurant, stand up on a chair, clink a spoon on a glass to command attention and announce to the room that you need to practice speaking to them so please indulge you!!! Is he nuts? You'd get pelted with bread-sticks until the waiters gave you the bum's rush and heave-ho. It seems that he dictated this into a tape-recorder over a weekend, then nobody bothered to edit this ill-reasoned garble. How could this ever get onto best-sellers lists? Buckskin Bob has snowed them again.

Spence does a wonderful job of framing what it means to "win" an arguement. He makes an eloquent, I dare say nearly buddhist, arguement of his own for what it means to let go of the need to be right. Pounding others into submission is not always helpful during arguements. Rather it is the style (if not substance) of your arguements that win. Slow at times, but a nice read.

This book changed my life. I had all these thoughts wondering in my head, and Mr. Spence displayed them out on paper in such a wonderful story manner. Anyone who knows anything about people skills, will know the importance of presenting thoughts in a story form. People love stories, they feel for stories, and most of all, they remember stories. This is an important point in Mr. Spence's book. His stories are sensational with compelling arguments. This is not a miracle book that can make an antisocial person into a great orator. You must have some ablity to convey your message. And if you do, this is the book for you. It can change your life. You will see others arguments in a different light. The best argument lets the winner win, without allowing the loser to truly lose. I love this book, just read it, you'll see.

When young I observed Spence on television. Just observing the boldness of his attire alone made me curious about his book. I listened to it in audio version. Want to be a lawyer? His book affirmed that you can remain true and that preparation and sincerity are key. So many things about the book contributed to my thinking in starting out that they remain with me still in practice and in life. Also his uniqueness and strength of conviction are inspirations.

When I first started reading this book I started reading it because of the title. Once I actually started reading this book it seemed interesting to me, because he has actually gone into cases and sort of knows what hes talkin about. There were certain things in the book that I couldnt agree with though. At one point when he started talking about religion he sort of threw me of course, because he admitted that most of the people in the world are slaves to their own thoughts, and that they are easily "brainwashed". One thing that I did agree with him on was that we are the only ones that can open the door to our minds, because we are the owners of the keys. I thought that overall the book was well written, but most of the book was based on his own experiences and his own opinions of life. I thought that he needed to go out of his box and look more into the things that were around him. Not just his family, dog, law office etc..

I read this book for the first time almost 4 years ago. I recently picked it from my bookshelf to use as an example for a project which involves communicating effectively. To summarize this book and what we can learn from it can be said in two words, "Be Honest." Spence teaches us, in this book, that honesty works. While it is impossible to teach honesty, Spence has tried his best to tell why it is the best policy, how he has made it work for him and for his clients and how you can make it work for you too. It is absolutely a book about communication and anyone who is interested and wants to be a better communicator (from a listener's stand point or from speaker's stand point) this book is an absolute must.

After reading the book, I then read the negative responses from the reviews posted here - which were as the book predicted. Of 10 that I read, some had constructive ideas but it appeared to me that most negative readers skimmed the book, jumped to conclusions and put words in the author's mouth he didn't say (or took them completely out of context). You never heard anyone do that before, right? For example, one reader opinion of "bad" was:

1. Words are virtually irrelevant- the tone conveys your message.

2. The truth can be found in emotions, not logic.

3. You can win every time merely by denying your opponent your permission to beat you.

In regard to #1, Garry never said "words are virtually irrelevant". He point out that "besides the facts, listen for the tone and try to determine also what is NOT said". In regard to #2, Garry didn't say that either: he pointed out that logic + the human emotional side gives a better picture; sometimes in STORY form". In regard to #3, this is utter rubbish since Garry throughout his book talks about times when winning is sometimes losing (to a loved one) or in other places, winning can be a tactful withdraw and winning sometimes is simply listening. In another place, Garry points out that "unless the other is willing to dialogue, then the argument is pointless". The "permission" mentioned by the reader is taken totally out of context when Garry said "power, real or imagined is what we (mentally) give to the other".

This reader calls himself a "non-liberal". Well, I'm a conservative (for 56 years), still am, and have big ears for liberal spin and prejudice which Garry so well describes as "a room piled to the ceiling with junk...so when you open the door, all their junk comes crashing down on you", unquote. In reading some of these reviews, I got clobbered with junk. I guess that's why we have 12 jurors (hint).

I liked Garry's real-world examples through the book as opposed to the theoretical I leaned in academia. It made me think about the saying "walk a mile in another man's shoes". To see things beyond my assumptions and fact-less conclusions. A better title for the book would be "the art of persuasion" however, to a lawyer, the word "argument" has a different meaning. He also has a great sense of humor in the book, ie: "in regard to prejudice, I'm opposed to all racists and bigots --- except those who I agree with". I agree more with Garry than I disagree (and isn't that the point of a philosophical mindset?)

If you are a philosopher at heart and are beyond the zit-nose kid that's quick to trash someone over a single point, then I'd recommend an excellent book "The Great Thoughts" by George Seldes which is a scholarly compilation of quotes from all the famous and infamous who shaped the world from Aristotle to Zola. As I read Garry's book, many of these quotations came to mind.

Love this book. Invaluable advice from an attorney who's never lost a case. It's informative and heartfelt. Thank you Gerry!

Devil's Verse: Natasha Azshatan Unlocks Ancient Mysteries, Reveals Secrets, And Wrestles With Demons As She Fights To Stay Alive

Was I surprised by this book? Completely. Lawyers are supposed to be cold and unfeeling. Gerry Spence was warm and spiritual. His advice and philosophy was invaluable. His approaches to winning arguments were always win-win situations. I highly recommend this book.
Harry W. Carpenter, author of The Genie Within: Your Subconscious mind--How It Works and How to Use It..

Gerry Spence takes us on a fun journey through experiences of his career and personal life. He presents a great case for both listening to people and always presenting our story credibly. I find information on each page that has been useful to me both as a parent dealing with two teenaged children and as a consultant dealing with clients and co-workers. Mr. Spence has provided many beautiful insights into human behavior and truths for us to use in our everyday living. There is a little magic in this book that will become more apparent as you begin to use the tools in all your human interaction. "Respect is a wondrous mirror."

This is absolutely an outstanding book. This book not only teaches you all the techniques and the methods of delivering a successful arguments whether in its written form or verbal communication but also most importantly motivates you to be a real person, and a real human being. It encourages you to face your fears for ultimate victory. It opens the eyes of your soul to the power of honesty and truth as a main ingredient of successful arguments and communication. It gives you the power to discover your unique self for delivering a unique and a winning arguments everywhere, every day and in any form.

One of the editorial reviews of this book says Spence herein "presents his ten laws of arguing." I wish it were that well-organized. Instead I found myself frustrated and impatient, wishing Spence would get to the point as he launched into one rambling anecdote after another. The cover photo says a lot: here is a man who uses his fringed leather jacket as a prop to underscore his ooh-I'm-such-a-nonconformist-maverick persona. The only thing I learned from this book is that Spence is a tireless self-promoter, and that I don't want to read another syllable he's written. I read a lot, and this is one of only three books I've ever literally THROWN AWAY.

From the title you might be expecting a book that would teach you how to argue. You won't find it here. You will find some sound advice on how to approach an argument, such as that you will have more success in your argument if you are respectful to the person you are arguing with, and if you try to make the argument from a position where you can find common ground. You will also find some wisdom on arguing in certain situations, for example arguing with at home or with children.

I think the most valuable part of the book is his emphasis of arguing from an emotional perspective. Many people, especially certain groups like men and conservatives, tend to be dismissive of emotional arguments in favor of logical ones. However, Spence shows that emotional arguments are more likely to win than logical ones. The skill of framing a logical argument in an emotional context could be a valuable one.

An important omission in the book is arguing in public. Spence tries to address that, but I have the feeling that Spence has lost the ability to identify with people who have trouble speaking in public and the scanty advice he gives seems ineffective - amounting to "just get over it and do it."

Another drawback of the book is that it contains a fair amount of polemic. So if you're going to find it annoying that Gerry Spence likes to go on tirades about environmentalism and his dislike of bankers you might want to find a different book. I found it distracting from the real purpose of the book.

All of Gerry Spence's techniques boil down to just one thing: use an appeal to pity. Unfortunately, Spence neglects to inform his readers that this is a logical fallacy. If you want to learn how to argue like a lawyer, read this book. If you want to learn real debate, don't waste your time on this book.

While I really like Gerry Spence and when he's on tv, I like to
listen to every word he says, because I think he is a fascinating
intelligent talker, has an interesting friendly personality and
I love that jacket he always wears. While looking at this book
in the library, I just couldn't get interested in it, I don't
like his book writing style and couldn't get myself to want to
read the book in spite of how much I like the guy.

While there were a few good points in the book, there were far more bad ones. Among the good ideas were:
1. Truth is powerful.
2. The use of stories helps involve the listener in a way technical arguments alone cannot.
Among the bad ideas were:
1. Words are virtually irrelevant- the tone conveys your message.
2. The truth can be found in emotions, not logic.
3. You can win every time merely by denying your opponent your permission to beat you.
I had heard that one should keep one's argument as pure as possible thereby avoiding to needlessly alienate people through issues unrelated to the main point. The author contradicts this completely by sprinkling his liberal ideology throughout the book, making it significantly more difficult for non-liberals to keep reading.
In the beginning, the author says that this book is itself an argument. Well the argument failed to win this reader, and thereby contradicted its title.

Another pamphlet book that can be summed up in one sentence--Don't expect to win an argument unless you believe you're right. Great advice, since many people enter into a debate or confrontation already thinking they'll lose, but no actual instructions, just a lot about the author.

One of the editorial reviews of this book says Spence herein "presents his ten laws of arguing." I wish it were that well-organized. Instead I found myself frustrated and impatient, wishing Spence would get to the point as he launched into one rambling anecdote after another. The cover photo says a lot: here is a man who uses his fringed leather jacket as a prop to underscore his ooh-I'm-such-a-nonconformist-maverick persona. The only thing I learned from this book is that Spence is a tireless self-promoter, and that I don't want to read another syllable he's written. I read a lot, and this is one of only three books I've ever literally THROWN AWAY.

From the title you might be expecting a book that would teach you how to argue. You won't find it here. You will find some sound advice on how to approach an argument, such as that you will have more success in your argument if you are respectful to the person you are arguing with, and if you try to make the argument from a position where you can find common ground. You will also find some wisdom on arguing in certain situations, for example arguing with at home or with children.

I think the most valuable part of the book is his emphasis of arguing from an emotional perspective. Many people, especially certain groups like men and conservatives, tend to be dismissive of emotional arguments in favor of logical ones. However, Spence shows that emotional arguments are more likely to win than logical ones. The skill of framing a logical argument in an emotional context could be a valuable one.

An important omission in the book is arguing in public. Spence tries to address that, but I have the feeling that Spence has lost the ability to identify with people who have trouble speaking in public and the scanty advice he gives seems ineffective - amounting to "just get over it and do it."

Another drawback of the book is that it contains a fair amount of polemic. So if you're going to find it annoying that Gerry Spence likes to go on tirades about environmentalism and his dislike of bankers you might want to find a different book. I found it distracting from the real purpose of the book.

All of Gerry Spence's techniques boil down to just one thing: use an appeal to pity. Unfortunately, Spence neglects to inform his readers that this is a logical fallacy. If you want to learn how to argue like a lawyer, read this book. If you want to learn real debate, don't waste your time on this book.

I tried to get through this book several times. Finally, I gave up. I wanted to read non-fiction. Spence's style of writing taxes the non-fiction classification through his rhapsodic, quasi-poetic details.

The premise is excellent. The author knows his stuff. However, his rentless, never-ending tangential stories and lengthy poetic sentences belong to Herman Melville's genre, not non-fiction. Mr. Spence is an outstanding attorney and an excellent writer of fiction.

Spence could have reached the goal of this book in half its length. Read the Cliff Notes version if it is ever published.

While I really like Gerry Spence and when he's on tv, I like to
listen to every word he says, because I think he is a fascinating
intelligent talker, has an interesting friendly personality and
I love that jacket he always wears. While looking at this book
in the library, I just couldn't get interested in it, I don't
like his book writing style and couldn't get myself to want to
read the book in spite of how much I like the guy.

While there were a few good points in the book, there were far more bad ones. Among the good ideas were:
1. Truth is powerful.
2. The use of stories helps involve the listener in a way technical arguments alone cannot.
Among the bad ideas were:
1. Words are virtually irrelevant- the tone conveys your message.
2. The truth can be found in emotions, not logic.
3. You can win every time merely by denying your opponent your permission to beat you.
I had heard that one should keep one's argument as pure as possible thereby avoiding to needlessly alienate people through issues unrelated to the main point. The author contradicts this completely by sprinkling his liberal ideology throughout the book, making it significantly more difficult for non-liberals to keep reading.
In the beginning, the author says that this book is itself an argument. Well the argument failed to win this reader, and thereby contradicted its title.

Another pamphlet book that can be summed up in one sentence--Don't expect to win an argument unless you believe you're right. Great advice, since many people enter into a debate or confrontation already thinking they'll lose, but no actual instructions, just a lot about the author.

I learned about the book ,How to Argue and Win Every Time by Gerry Spence, from my eldest son. I bought the book, liked it so well I ordered the audio cassette. Liked that even better. My youngest son often refers to many things said by Mr. Spence. It's a great book to help in everyday living. I wish there were more of his books available on cassette. I haven't time to read but I do a lot of driving so I can listen as I drive. Thank you Gerry Spence. I plan to read all of your books when I can find the time. Sharon Bedell

Let me tell you story. Once there was a lawyer who was without conscience but was very good at his craft. He knew deep inside, however, that he was a scum-bag who got rich on winning in court regardless of justice. Therefore he wrote a book in an effort to make himself feel better and to try to justify his existence as a shyster. His name was Gerry Spence and this is his book. The end.
The American legal system is adversarial by design, with the intend being that somehow justice will emerge from the contest. It is well known justice by no means automatically emerges from such a design, and instead the key characteristic of this system is the need to win and win at all costs. Gerry Spence is famous for winning, and in this book he seeks (and fails) to wrap himself in a cloak of justice as if he is the world's lone justice warrior and all who oppose him are Satan's representatives. But Spence is just a scum-bag lawyer who has mastered how to triumph given our adversarial system, and he hopes this book will confuse you into believing that his wins are synonymous with 'justice' and he's a regular Joe--just like you. It is salesmanship, and Spence remains so slick and greasy you will find yourself needing to take a bath often when reading this book. He wins and you'd want him on your side (whether you're innocent or guilty), but do not be fooled into thinking he's anything other than the smooth, slick, shyster lawyer that he is. He's merely mastered our system and seeks through this book to make himself look better by sharing some of his techniques.
The heart of Spence's technique is recognizing a jury can do whatever it wants with regard to its ruling despite facts and logic. Therefore, Spence uses stories, analogies, and other techniques to get under the skin of the jury and convince them to rule based on what they 'feel'; not on the facts if those facts are against his client. If the facts support his client, then so much the better. Spence has mastered the skill of connecting with the autonomous jury to manipulate them into giving him the only thing he really cares about; winning.
Most of this book is fluff. You can tell by the endorsements (Dan Rather for goodness sake) it is light-weight nonsense, with some (Larry King) making wild claims about how this book is a formula for how you should live your day-to-day life, but that is hype extraordinaire. There are a few good techniques for preparing products, written or otherwise, but Spence provides mainly platitudes. His notion of 'telling a story,' is good in that it tells you how to use analogies to convince. You will pluck a few gems here and there, but this book is primarily about Gerry Spence. Make sure your hot water heater is fully charged before you start reading, and keep a good supply of soap on hand.
I wouldn't want to face Spence in court. He is good at what he does, but don't confuse winning with 'justice'. And don't imagine that being a winning lawyer makes you a good person serving humanity. Certainly don't take your cues on how to live a righteous life from a lawyer! Our system is designed to produce a winner and a loser, and justice be damned. Spence is good at winning, and that is all. This book will not actually teach you how to replicate his success.

After reading Mr. Spence's book, I thought back to past arguments in which I had strong feelings and lost. I found myself saying, "oops, now I see where I blew that one". I appreciated his analysis of understanding the structure of power in arguments. The most valuable insight he shared in the book for me was that to win does not always mean having my own way. Thanks Mr. Spence; a good read and a valuable resource.

Mr. Spence will have you thinking differently about yourself and everything around you. He is an excellent writer with a masterful command of the english language. You may not agree with many of Mr. Spence's thoughts as his outlook is probably radically different than how you now think. Irrespective of whether you agree or disagree with his approach you will be refreshed.

While I was expecting something along the lines of debate tactics, rebuttals, counterpoints etc. this is more of a book that deals with pre-positioning in an argument to get you where you need to be.

It did get a bit preachy at times, but overall it was a pretty decent read.

I tried several times to get through this book; but finally I had to give up. It is one of the worst books I have ever tried to read. I do have to give Mr. Spencer the credit that he sure has a lot of bull, and we are supposed to read all 300 pages!! If you doubt my review please read two pages before buying and you will understand what I am talking about......

I tried to get through this book several times. Finally, I gave up. I wanted to read non-fiction. Spence's style of writing taxes the non-fiction classification through his rhapsodic, quasi-poetic details.

The premise is excellent. The author knows his stuff. However, his rentless, never-ending tangential stories and lengthy poetic sentences belong to Herman Melville's genre, not non-fiction. Mr. Spence is an outstanding attorney and an excellent writer of fiction.

Spence could have reached the goal of this book in half its length. Read the Cliff Notes version if it is ever published.

I was glad to get the item as soon as I did. I have had the store orders come 2-3 weeks later than the 3-4 days they claimed. But this item came when I needed it (it was a Christmas/graduation gift). Thank you!

it's a real great book and it makes you aware of all the aspects of arguing.

it also tells you how to get along with your spouse, by sometimes losing an argument on purpose.. just read it, you'll love it.

If you're one who thinks the world owes you a life, or thinks that there is always someone else (a faceless, nameless till) responsible for whatever happens to you in life- You'll love this book. Spence will coddle you and tell you that "we'll get the dirty bas*****" the whole way.

Having a mind open to wonder and not closed by belief is an amazing description for some of us on how we live life. This book is about life, how to win, how to approach arguments, when not to bother, and how to see from another's perspective. What a beautiful source of good stuff for the independent thinker. Gerry Spence wins 5 stars easily on this one.

Spence speaks of crediblilty and the importance of truth in one's argument. I have never read a book that has given me such a readily usable list of tips to enhance persuasion techniques as well as taking control of important life situations.
Mr. Spence doesn't beat-around-the-bush...

The author redefines "argue" as "communicate", then tries to tell you how to "win at communicating". He does this by presenting a lot of half-truths and monologues borne of a critically incomplete understanding of even his own example situations. The result is a lot of really, really bad advice.

This book is useless as a guide to arguing (or even communicating), but possibly potentially useful in understanding the kinds of broken thinking you may encounter in others while trying to argue or communicate with people of like mind with the author.

Power, Strategy, and Living - all part of life (and arguments)

How to Argue & Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Everyday
Gerry Spence

The title of this book is a little deceptive by design, because it is not really as much about "arguing" as much as it is about communicating. Gerry Spence, a liberal leaning, very successful lawyer uses the word "argument" in the overall position of all communication in everything we express, be it a courtroom, coaching a youth team, teaching or just everyday interactions

Spence's opening sentence is that "the art of arguing is the art of living. We argue because we must, because life demands it; because life itself is a argument." Spence opines that learning to argue is a mindset that gives one permission to get beyond the fear factor felt by all of us at one point or another. He offers the position that skilled arguments are not self-serving, but a means to show positive outcomes. A good argument is one in which the greatest good is served.

There are 16 chapters in three main parts:
1. Readying ourselves to Win
2. Delivering the Winning Argument
3. Arguments in Love and War

Part One Addresses Power

Understanding Power
Power of Credibility
Power of Listening
Power of Prejudice
Power of Words

Part Two is more about Strategy

Structuring the Winning Argument
Opening them up
Delivering the Winning Argument
The Magical Argument
The Unbeatable Power Argument

Part Three is more personal

The love relationship
Kids
The Workplace
The Responsibility of Being

I concur with earlier reviews that this is an excellent book those involved in regular negotiations. At times, his negotiating manner appears to have the simple manner of TV lawyer Matlock, but this style is powerful. Understanding and learning about different styles of negotiating is a benefit in reading this book S-L-O-W-L-Y because its simple message needs to be digested in pieces.

As always, feedback or comments are welcome.

Dr. John Hogan CHE CHA CMHS
HospitalityEducators
HoganHospitality

Originality at its best, Gerry Spence is a true thinker that has not only thought but lived what he writes about.

Full of insights for life, written in a clear, concise and yet aesthetic style. Certainly one of the best books I have ever read, and I do read a lot.

If you want to learn, think and feel deeply about new ideas, this book is for you.