Kisser: A Stone Barrington Novel

Another classic from woods. He never seems to run out of new ideas to keep a story moving. I do wish he would bring Holly back into more of his novels though. She is a remarkable woman who melds well with Stone Barrington.

Woods proves himself once again to be a seasoned author. This is a stand alone adventure but it preferably matures the sequential Stone Barrington novels. Action, intrigue, and romance, it is after all a Wood's novel. A great read.

one of the worst books ever. characters and plot are superficial and written in a painful and childish he-said, she-said triteness. in his effort to pound out books, woods has sacrificed quality for quantity. this is the last book of his that i will read.

Another good story about Stone Barrington that improved as the plot thickened. Once again characters from previous Stone Barrington novels were introduced into the plot for Kisser in a masterful,clever way. I enjoyed this latest book's references to Atlanta since I am a native of the area.

My son loves Stuart Woods books. While he was in Iraq ( for 27 months ) he read every one he could get his hands on. I preordered every one there was and shipped it to him. I still do this and he is now state side again. This was Woods last book,,,i texted my son asking him if he would like it. His answer was " Oh Yes please". And so i will continue to buy these books for him even though his years in the military will soon be over to start four years of college. I know he will continue to love the books.

This is a clear attempt to bring Stone's character back to basics. He is back in NY after too many "road trip" adventures. He is in familiar territory with lots of ladies. Woods turns up the sex a notch but nothing too adult oriented. He even brings back an old character or two. Not a bad outing for Woods. Actually, better than most of his later books which, until the last several, seem to be just going through the motions. This is a pretty good read if you are a Woods/Stone Barrington fan.

Sexual scenes throughout the book but are brief, not full of details or pornographic but they are of note as seems a good part of the story line has Stone eating at this or that place, drinking in many scenes or having sex with several different ladies. Felt it detracted from the story which includes New York Scene of art, drugs, and stock fraud. This one is one of his few not so good novels. A whole book for a 5 sentence plot made me feel I was reading filler all the way through.

It seems that the OLDER Stuart Woods gets the more sexually active his protagonist Stone Barrington becomes. It appears that Mr. Woods is compensating for a flagging libido by vicariously fulfilling his fantasies of sexual gymnastics through his character.

In KISSER, Barrington needs nothing short of a big stick (excuse the pun) to keep the women at bay. Everyone is bent on hopping into bed with "Studly Stone", and not necessarily one at a time. Most of Woods better novels were done earlier in his career, and there was a time when publication of his novels like CHOKE and SANTA FE RULES as well as his Will Lee series were eagerly anticipated by his readers. In fact there was even a time, when the Barrington books (SWIMMING TO CATALINA) were fairly entertaining. This was definitely not one of those times. It's almost as if Woods himself realized that the duo stories of the Broadway actress being stalked by her ex-husband and the spoiled little rich girl who has gotten involved with the wrong people were so weak that he felt the need to liberally pepper the story with plenty of sex in order to keep the reader interested. Well, that ploy did not work! This tale is mediocre and so is the sex. If there was a RAZZY award for novels, this one would certainly be in contention.

This series has been going down hill for several novels now, but Kisser is definitely the worst. There's really not much of a mystery in this one. Hopefully actress from the south is being stalked by her ex husband, Rich man's daughter is messing around with a self proclaimed artist / drug dealer. Stone gets involved in helping the actress deal with her ex as well as getting involved in finding the rich man's daughter. Hijinks ensue.

That's pretty much the plot of Kisser (named so because the aforementioned southern actress is passing time as a lip model until she gets the 'big break'. The rest of the book is more or less chapter after chapter ending with stone being led to bed by one of several women, not to mentioned chapter after chapter which being with us seeing Stone getting out of bed late and hurting because he's been having too much sex late into the night with too many women (sometimes not just one at a time either).

Yep. That's what the series has degenerated into. Stone bedding woman after woman. Here's some issues I have with the series as a whole these days:

all the women Stone runs into are
a) gorgeous
b) rich..either by way of taking their ex's for everything they had in a divorce or from inheritance
c) willing to bed him immediately upon first meeting him
d) are bordering on nympomania
e) never have a clue that he's doing others while he's doing them

The books have really become one dimensional, the same being said for the characters.

There are some entertaining bits. The interplay between Dino and Joan and Stone is pretty funny at times, usually at Stone's expense. But overall? His bedroom antics and the cardboard women characters have really ruined the series. The Holly Barker novels are pretty much the same way as well. It's a shame because there used to be actual mysteries in these crime thrillers, as well as character development. Not anymore.

The main character, Stone Barrington, is a retired police detective turned lawyer. He loves women and sleeps with every one he meets. Then he complains about being tired. His women are all beautiful. I don't know if they really are or their beauty is just in his mind.
His case is to protect an heiress from succumbing to a con artist. He also has to figure out who is stalking a new girlfriend. A third woman is found watching his apartment. The first two issues are resolved while the third is left open. This part of the story must continue in his next book.
The book was easy to read. The characters had fun with sarcasm and humor. Stone reminded me of old-time detectives who liked their women easy and fun.I could have used less of these easy women.

It should be pretty obvious by now that Woods has long ago ceased being any kind of rational fiction writer. His "plots" are somewhat less plausible than the James Bond or Walter Mitty fare and his attention to detail is....well, practically non-existent. It's like he just phones in his stories as he makes them up and no one even bothers to edit them. He can't even keep the names of his characters straight. Is it Mitzi or Mimi? Is it Philip Larkin or Philip Parsons --- and all this not only on the same page but often even in the same paragraph!!!

If you like the Walter Mitty shtick you may like killing some time reading his books on the beach or an airplane or whatever. Everyone in his stories is rich, beautiful/handsome, sexually adventurous and promiscuous. Also most everyone is a gourmet cook, art critic, private pilot who owns their own plane and/or NYPD Homicide Lieutenant who can fix any inconvenient legalities that might arise. What's not to like, right? Just don't get too invested in the plot because it will eventually fizzle into the utterly absurd for no reasons you can logically discern. Read it like you would a comic book...or else find a real novel by someone else.

Now I remember why I stopped reading the Stone Barrington series years ago. Although Woods is obviously a talented writer who has written 40+ successful books, this is not worth reading.

Everything comes easily to characters in this book and they are all beautiful or handsome, sexy, and oh so clever and smart that they are too much of a stretch to believe even for 288 pages. Mostly the book consists of Stone's ridiculous sex life in which there are so many gorgeous insatiable women throwing themselves at him and into his bed that he would have been dead long ago. The plot lines lack mystery or even satisfactory endings, heck they aren't even interesting. The only people who aren't terribly bright are of course the criminals, who willingly let the clever characters pull the wool over their eyes. It only takes a little flirting to catch them. Give me a break.

I wish Mr. Woods would take the time to write something worth reading, but in that case he would have to come up with characters that have some depth to them.

not the best of his Stone Barrington

BUT, I actually got some out loud laughs on this one

but the overkill on his sexual activities got annoying. Suspected he was becoming a 'dirty old man' ala Robert Heinlein but he's writte more since and they're not as bad

still, glad I didnt read this in sequence cause I really like that his characters are fun, competent, clear, able to make good decisions and are all around good and likable people...... and I might have not gone on and read later ones...

wonder at times about his taste in 'crazy' women

I have been a fan of Stuart Woods, especially the Stone Barrington and Holly Barker books, for years and have eagerly looked forward to each new book but I was so disappointed in this book that I probably will never waste my money again on one of his books. I'm a big girl and I'm NOT a prude but if Woods took out the gratuitous (and promiscuous) sex out of this book it would only be 150 pages long. The man is no spring chicken, for goodness sake, and within two hours of meeting TWO women who are complete strangers he is in bed with BOTH women at the same time! As I said, I can handle the sex scenes just fine but when they become THE story line and over-shadow the basic plot, it is time to tone it down a bit. In this case, however, I felt the plot line was so weak itself that maybe he felt he HAD to add all that sex to stretch the book to the requisite number of pages. Maybe Mr. Woods needs to go back and read his OWN early books as a refresher course before he writes another.

Stone Barrington's appeal as a handsome big city attorney continues in Stuart Wood's new novel, KISSER. At Elaine's, his favorite New York City restaurant, Barrington meets Carrie Cox, an aspiring actress and singer intent on landing a big Broadway musical part. In the meantime, she works as a lipstick model for an advertising agency. As a virile, good-looking man, Barrington is exploited by Woods, both in comic relief during tight circumstances and in thematic dramatization.

Now an independent lawyer, Barrington accepts cases from a well-heeled law firm in New York. He is solicited to represent their client, Philip Parsons, a wealthy art dealer and gallery owner, on a personal matter. His daughter, Hildy, will turn 25 soon and thus will have access to her trust fund. She is in a live-in relationship with artist Derek Sharpe, whose reputation is anything but lily white. Parsons's concerns extend beyond the dollar amount Hildy will access to a parent's worry about her safety. She has rebelled against his authority and seems starstruck by Sharpe. Barrington is hired to investigate the man and convince him to stay away from Hildy.

Meanwhile, Barrington's latest sexual conquest, the lipstick model, has a complicated history and is brash enough to land an audition for the lead in a new Broadway production. Miraculously, she gets the part. However, her outlandish personality traits do not gain kudos from other cast members. This "diva" uses people to her advantage. And when she starts being stalked and harassed by her former husband, Max Long, Barrington discovers much more about Carrie and her sordid background.

Dino Bacchetti, Barrington's long-time friend and an NYPD lieutenant, is a regular with Barrington at Elaine's. He has met Carrie but has reservations about her. When she is wounded from a gunshot, both Barrington and Bacchetti get involved. Long's near miss terrifies Carrie, so Barrington hires ex-cop Bob Cantor to protect her and track the security at her apartment.

Unlike his Santa Fe novels, Woods writes his lead character as a one-man sexual machine, fulfilling the desires of not one but three females. A fourth, his ex-wife, is thrown in for fun, promising action in a future novel. Balancing his sex life between the two women who corral his body for a threesome and the actress with singular designs is a game even Barrington wearies of playing. Steamy sex scenes spice up the read, but may be too much for the average mystery reader.

Secondary characters written into KISSER are incorporated with skill. The reader identifies easily with Dino, Mitzi, Hildy, Emma and Tiffany Baldwin. They add to the story, blend into its complications and flesh out the solutions. Barrington's manipulation and involvement in two deep-cover police operations fit into the mold of Woods's crime story development. His hero exhibits real-life worries when Carrie rejects the protection he has provided her.

Frustration creeps into Barrington's reactions to the various directions his clients are pulling him in. Woods's story draws to its conclusion with solutions but leaves a hint of action for the next installment. KISSER is an entertaining book, with enough action to turn pages for a thirsty mystery reader, and is testament to the author's popularity in the world of mystery fiction.

--- Reviewed by Judy Gigstad

Still Stone Barrington, still "too much" sex, too many brand names, too little plot. Also, still a fun read and, after all, isn't that what books of fiction are supposed to be about?

Stuart Woods has come upon a formula that works; he sells tons of these stories to people. That's what they are; stories. I'm not seeking enlightenment here, I'm seeking a bit of relief from the "real world."

Stone Barrington, of counsel at Woodman & Weld, is at Elaine's restaurant in Manhattan when he notices beautiful Carrie Cox who is in New York with dreams of becoming an actress. After she tells Stone about a great audition she had with a director who tried to rape her afterward so she threw his dinner onto his lap at a gala they both attended separately.

Stone advises her how to handle the situation; she soon gets the part and a great agent. Stone and Carrie like each other's company, but he has to place his personal life on hold when Bill Eggers wants him to get Hildy Parsons out of trouble. Her father is a client at Woodman & Weld and knows his daughter is involved with a gigolo who anxiously waits for her trust fund to revert back to her control. Stone learns the con artist is also dealing drugs and partnered with Larsen who is managing a Ponzi scheme. They become Stone's problem when someone he cares about wants to bring them down. Making matters more dangerous is Carrie believes her former husband is trying to kill her; she needs protection that she wants only from Stone until they obtain proof of her assertion.

Although Stone proves there are a zillion stories in New York even in one novel, Stuart Woods provides another exhilarating Barrington tale filled with serial sex, plenty of other action, and several fun investigations. After Key West (see Loitering with Intent), Stone vows divorce cases only, but he wonders how he got so involved in so many other matters though he knows the exhausting answer is women, women, and more women. Kisser is a fun lighthearted Stone Barrington thriller as the lawyer finds the mean streets of Manhattan as both welcoming and dangerous.

Harriet Klausner

After reading this book I really wondered if Stuart Woods wrote it. It seems so formulaic that any aspiring writer could have written it. I'm guessing that SW gave a writer the following instructions and set him loose:

Plot: Begin at Elaine's. Either Bill Eggers or a stranger asks Stone to do some trivial work, such as getting a signature or talking to someone. This usually involves Stone traveling somewhere. When he gets there he discovers that the subject isn't who he was told they were. Neither is the client. Problems develop locally, get solved quite easily, after which Stone comes away with a huge amount of money for doing practically nothing. The End.

Rules:

Stone is the most well-known and famous attorney in NY, in spite of never having had a high-profile client or case.

Stone's jobs are always on the level of a $10/hour junior detective. His huge fees are justified by the will, agreement, etc., specifying that the work must be done by a lawyer.

Use the annoying phrase "of council" about a dozen times every book. Sometimes describe what this means, i.e., doing work like domestic violence, DUIs, etc., for the firm. Under no circumstance is Stone to actually do work such as domestic violence, DUIs, etc.

Keep Dino's contributions on the level of a typical leading man's dumb, fat friend. Even though he's a Lieutenant in the Detective Bureau, Dino doesn't seem to know much about crime solving. Try to make him sound authoritative when he drops gems like, "I think you'll find that the rapist was probably a man."

Stone is the world's worst at managing money. Make sure you describe his lavish lifestyle in detail, i.e., talk about his plane, have him eat at Elaine's every meal, work his custom-made Mercedes into the book, require a client to be hidden at his house in Connecticut, then have his secretary complain a few times that she can't pay their small bills.

No matter where Stone travels, he can't swing a dead cat without hitting an ex-NYPD cop, and he knows every one of them.

Stone's mother was a painter - never let the readers forget it. And she is the only painter whose popularity is absolute - everyone loves her work.

The women Stone meets are single, beautiful, usually large-breasted, and rich. Every one of them wants to have sex with Stone, as soon as possible, and multiple times. Stone is to fall in love with each of them immediately, and decide that she is the one for him. Leave the romance open - she'll dump him at the beginning of the next book.

Research Stone's love life by watching porn videos, paying special attention to the dialogue that the male lead uses to seduce the female lead. Innuendos must be subtle as a train wreck, eg., Woman: "I could use a backrub." Stone: "I'll rub anything you'd like." If it causes the reader to make a face like they just detected an unclaimed fart on an airplane then you're doing it right.

Voila! Follow these simple instructions and you too can write an SB novel!

Well written, easy to follow, fast read. At times, Woods seemingly leaves things to your imagination, which puzzles you until you realize the connection to some obscure scene from earlier in the book. The last paragraph of the book is a good example. Also, I don't mind fantasy sex, but Woods main character is so successful with minimal effort, he's not believable, If this is a true reflection of life, I must have missed something or a lot of things, I guess.

I would recommend the book.

Others rating this latest outing of Stewart Woods as one star are right on in their critiques. If the store offered a 1/2 star option this book wouldn't even rate that. Woods has become more and more like so many of the "best seller" authors. Once they've made their name and can sell about anything they churn out the quality of their stories and characters goes straight south. Would think he'd be ashamed to have his name on this. The story plays out like it's been recycled many times over and the characters are more two dimensional than ever. The numerous sex escapades appear more to fill out pages than have any real relationship to the story line. Woods was so good at writing his earlier novels one cannot but help feeling disappointed with his latest round - none are worthy of the time spent reading them anymore.

The Barringston books keep going down, down, down. Barely any plot here where Stone tries to extricate the young daughter of a prominent New York art dealer, from the clutches of an older faux artiste, drug dealer, con man. Along the way Stone beds many interchangeable women. Their only distinguishing feature is one is a tad bitchier than the next, but they are all ready, willing and able. We can tell Stone is getting older because they seem to be wearing down the poor dear. This is what happens when a competent author churns out three novels a year. You've got plenty of money Stuart. Take a break, rest, slow down the pace and take your time writing the next one.

What a piece of garbage. I finished it yesterday and I'm still wincing. I continue to be embarrassed for Stuart Woods. His "work" over the last 8-10 years makes him appear nuttier than "Dolce." I defy him to write one book, just ONE, where he can recall all of his own characters names, (yes, Stuart, first AND last names) for the entire book. Speaking of Dolce I'm shocked he has kept her name straight for so long. I keep expecting his next book to have me reading about how "Dorothy" was hiding in the shadows with a gun, etc.

Please Mr. Woods, I beg of you, make a genuine effort to write something for us that is interesting, clever, doesn't contain irritatingly written and preposterous sex scenes...and CAREFULLY written (ie: if someone's name is Kerry Smith don't change it to Kerry White halfway though.) Thank you in advance.

Light and breezy??? Those words must be euphemisms for sophomoric and trite. I purchased this soft porn novel through Audiobooks and after an afternoon of eye-rolling I deleted it as I was embarrassed to have such material on my iPod. As another reviewer stated, Woods is/was capable of fresh, innovative writing, such as Chiefs and Palindrome. Stuart, you've sunk to an all time low and lost a reader. Kiss me goodbye.

Lets get the monkey out right here at the first. KISSER by Stuart Woods has more sex than any of the first sixteen, more sex talk and group sex, well the only thing missing in this is Arrigton being in the pile. Now this seems to be the hang up with other reviews. That said, KISSER isn't a bad Barrington, certainly better than the previous few. This one is Barrington being Barrington in his job with Woodman and Weld, no CIA or long trips out of town. "Please Stone save the client's daughter from a nasty situation, pure Barrington, oh yes, with lots of sex. Sit back and enjoy Woods for the beach reads he writes. Remember, this one has lots of sex. RECOMMENDED

I have read many of Stuart Wood's Stone Barringer books. Kisser is awful. The story line is weak and confusing. The descriptions of Stone's sex life are much too graphic to the point of being disgusting. The details contribute nothing to the story.Kisser is not a "police/detective/law enforcement book. It is a story of Stone's sex life with a weak story thrown in. I did not finish the book. I will not buy any more of Wood's books. Its a new low for Stuart Woods.

Kisser is just awful, I could have bought a novel wrapped in a paper bag and had as much fun. Wood's language is gutter and the story caused me to skip the middle of the book 200 pages to the end. Ugh...if the other 17 are this bad I am done...

Dreadful garbage. Not at all entertaining. Can't imagine why a publisher would bother to print this junk. I wish the store would develop a negative stars category so reviewers can give this author's books the ratings they deserve.

Stone Barrington is a former member of the NYPD and current Lawyer who is counsel to Woodman & Weld a well known prestigious law firm... as well as an independent lawyer which gives him the freedom to follow his own whims and desires not only in the legal field but in bars and bedrooms. His dominating allure to the opposite sex becomes ridiculous early on as Carrie Cox... immediately identified as the most beautiful and most talented woman in New York... walks into the same bar/restaurant that Stone and his trusty drinking sidekick Dino Bacchetti who is on active duty with the NYPD are in... but of course that doesn't stop Dino from drinking day and night along with his buddy Stone... as they are currently doing. (Note: Stone is drinking "Knob Creek"... which is mentioned so... so... many times throughout this story... that there is no way in the world the author isn't being paid some type of product placement money!) In less than a minute the "Hugh Hefner-like" Stone has Carrie at their table... and of course bedded before the night is through. It so happens Carrie is being murderously stalked by her deranged ex-husband from Atlanta Max Long... so as the first plot unwinds Stone is representing her on Broadway... activating his "always" immediately available cast of former law enforcement cronies... who communicate in a stilted ridiculous manner which is reminiscent of the legendary "JOE FRIDAY OF DRAGNET FAME": i.e.: "it was a hot day in the Valley... we were on Bunco division... we asked the woman if she noticed her leg was missing?... she said... that was strange... why's that mam?" etc.

While Stone is playing super-sex-stud with Carrie he gets assigned a case at Woodman & Weld to unhook a rich art dealer client's daughter from a scam artist who is after her soon to be activated inheritance. Without batting an eye... or having even one of his advances deflected... Stone is instantly in bed with an employee from the art dealer's company. When this case evolves into an undercover police operation... "blink-of-eye-blink-blink" Stone is not only in bed with an undercover cop but he is joined in bed with the aforementioned art dealer employee for an ongoing "three-way". Ahh... to be so totally sexually irresistible... along with drinking *KNOB CREEK* constantly... and to be able to communicate relentlessly with powerful men... in monosyllabic patter. What sane man could ever want more? Other than another *Knob Creek*... another woman who doesn't know the meaning of no... and some short grunting dialogue? The only thing I could think of wanting would be a better written and believable book.

Across the top of the cover: "New York Times Bestseller". Oh, please. Get a grip. By far, this was the worst Stuart Woods book I've read.
It has a plot as thin as water. Very bad character development & the writing has an elementary school style to it.
The thin plot is overshadowed by Stone Barrington having sexual relations with any number of women & being physically drained from their sexual prowess. This makes for a suspense thriller? Hardly.
Mr. Woods, do us a favor & either retire Barrington or hang up your keyboard. One should be ashamed to put his name on this book

In this unashamed ham-job Stone Barrington (or was that Bond) attorney/ex-cop/porn star attempts to bust a try-hard drug dealer to save the dealer's girlfriend, all while falling into bed with every woman he meets (sometimes simultaneously)

The story line is ridiculously badly crafted, the relationships seemed to have found their inspiration from FHM or Ralph magazines and the prose... think lines like "grabbed with by the cock and led him upstairs"

Yet despite all this, Kisser is a self-aware novel. Nothing about it suggests it is anything otherwise to what it is, and the whole book doesn't take more time than you would want to spend on such a thing, to read. Overall it's a pretty funny read recommended to those who can take a light hearted approach to books.

Quite honestly, I have completely quit reading any of Stuart Woods books. I absolutely loved his first Stone Barrington books. I was totally hooked. For the last few years, they've been all the same. Then a couple of years ago he pulled a stunt that made everybody mad. He put two of his already published books into one and gave it a new title, which I consider a really cheap trick.
I have actually published 3-mystery novels of my own. I contacted Stuart Woods through his website asking for advise on publishing, and he was quite arrogant in his response. My books are about a 37 year-old Interior Designer named Madeline Fox. Blood & Wine, Deadly Referral and Fatal Intentions. If you want a good mystery like the early Stone Barrington's, read these.

Story was flat, lame. Absolutely no character development whatsoever. Woods writes his sexual episodes like a fantasizing teenager. Every chapter had some kind of sex act or innuendo, they were excruciatingly painful to read. I skipped over the rest of them. I just wanted to see how this tripe ended. I was on a long flight and had no choice. I think reading the emergency exit notice was more exciting. I left the book in the seatback along with the barf bag and in-flight magazine.

Stuart Woods writes like a modern Ernest Hemingway: lean, clear, witty and vibrant prose within an interesting and humorous plot. What others would say in several sentences, he says far better in a single line. Lawyer Stone Barrington is involved as usual with strikingly beautiful women. Carrie Cox is an actress who tells Stone that her ex husband is harassing her. Stone arranges protection for her and enjoys her sexually. But is she telling the truth? Stone is also hired to protect a beautiful young heiress from the clutches of a slimy reptilian man who has been married four times and was involved in criminal activities under different names, and he enjoys sex with the girl's father's beautiful employee. Stone arranges for an undercover operation against the man to catch him selling drugs and put him in jail, away from the heiress, and Stone enjoys sex with the beautiful undercover cop. The undercover operation is jeopardized by a senior police officer who is more interested in getting praise than in catching the criminals. This officer does not like Stone. Stone is also pursued by two women from his past. The word beautiful and sex crops up frequently in this tale, and Stone is frequently and understandably tired. "It's a good thing you're not Catholic," Dino (his friend said to Stone). "At confession, you'd give a priest a heart attack."