Two Dollar Bill (Stone Barrington Book 11)

Typical Stone Barrington fare, a quick 'beach' read, which I enjoy [am on my 5th (6th? 7th?) this holiday trip] though felt compelled to comment on the this novel's monumental editorial gaffe, re: helicopter operations. Let's just say it's mostly wrong, e.g., the pedals control the tail rotor pitch, not the collective.

To Stuart Woods, author of TWO-DOLLAR BILL, I have this to say: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thanks for yet another riveting read starring a familiar and favorite character, Stone Barrington. I have a high level of expectation for these books, and once again you've managed to meet and exceed that expectation in spades.

Stone Barrington is a lawyer with an attitude. While other lawyers may be bogged down with their revised tax codes, durable powers of attorney and corporate restructuring, good old Stone never takes a case that leaves us less than enthralled, even when he has no idea that that's what he's doing. If I worked for Stone, I can only say my days as a legal secretary would have been infinitely more enjoyable if perhaps also more dangerous.

This time Stone finds himself with a larger-than-life client, Billy Bob Barnstormer, a Texan with more money than sense and a propensity for tipping with stolen two-dollar bills. While Billy Bob might not have been Stone's first choice for a client, being cash-poor provides Stone with the motivation to accept this questionable but highly recommended client who immediately secures Stone's services with a $50,000 retainer.

As usual, Stone is called upon to go above and beyond the call of duty. Within hours of meeting his new client, bullets are flying and Stone finds himself once again in danger. Grudgingly Stone puts Billy Bob up for the night and wakes up to a real Texas-style breakfast of steak and eggs and a gutful of indigestion caused by the food and other things.

While Stone's houseguest does his best to be considerate, even going so far as to show his appreciation with a gift of black alligator luggage worth something in the area of $50,000, even a good guest becomes a pain when he leaves a dead hooker in the guest bedroom.

Barrington fans will be delighted to see all the old regulars present in TWO-DOLLAR BILL, giving it the familiar feel of a family reunion. We get the chance to catch up with old pals such as Bill Eggers, managing partner of the esteemed Woodman & Weld; Dino Bacchetti, Lieutenant with the New York City Police Department; Elaine, proprietor of Stone's favorite restaurant; Lance Cabot, member of the CIA; and last, but certainly not least, Arrington Calder, old flame and recurring love interest.

A new face in the mix is the newly appointed Tiffany Baldwin, U.S. Attorney for New York. As can be anticipated with any new female in Stone's orbit, it doesn't take long for Tiff and Stone to become as close as two people can. Having that particular closeness videotaped and broadcast on the Internet, however, was a little snafu no one anticipated.

TWO-DOLLAR BILL is filled with all the requisite twists and turns that any avid reader has come to expect in a Stuart Woods novel. Woods has once again proven his mastery of suspense and the written word with his 28th book. For those not acquainted with Stone Barrington, it's time to make his introduction. To old fans, you won't be disappointed. To all, it would be well worth your while to check out Mr. Woods's other recurring characters, Holly Barker and Will Lee, as well as any of his stand-alone novels. To this reader, Stuart Woods is king. Long live the king!

--- Reviewed by Amie Taylor

Yeah yeah, Stuart Woods is a successful novelist whose novels have been movie-ized. And yeah, some of his Stone Barrington stories are well written and entertaining AS BOOKS, not movies.

Such a pity that another talented and bankable novelist has slithered into caricaturizing his own work. Is Woods satirizing his Stone Barrington series? Does publishing success always breed contempt for readers? Does Woods feel that "anyone who likes my stories doesn't know how perfunctorily I can write?"

It seems Woods has accumulated a cache of snippits from which he merely assembles a novel rather than invents anything new. I am tempted to scan in the entire novel so that I can quantify the annoying number of times

- the restaurant "Elaine's" is mentioned,
- all characters suggest dinner at Elaine's,
- descriptions of the woodwork, elevator... of Stone's house,
- of gratuitous sexual references...

OK, OK Woods MUST state character attributes in every novel for readers who are reading their first Barrington story, but what about us repeat customers? We need new stuff to keep us coming back. The same-old, same-old snippets held in a matrix of a gossamer-thin plot isn't enough.

Kung-fu novels' muscle-by-muscle action description has successfully migrated to movies. Maybe that's Woods' strategy? Why churn out 300-page, single spaced books when he can write a movie that pays royalties on DVD and other IP rights for less than a third of the effort? (Hollywood movies are about 100 minutes long, at about one minute per scene. Each scene might take up one page of script without all the blank space, so a movie script only needs about 100 pages of content.)

Why bother with literary devices that are not possible in movies such as internal dialog, character development, historical setting, situation analysis... none of which Hollywood movies do anymore.

Well, I guess I'm an anachronism. Modern novels, like movies, are just eye candy. I'm not Woods' intended readership anymore.

Well, one thing you can say about Stuart Woods, his books aren't boring. Predictible, maybe. Preposterous, possibly. but not boring.

Two Dollar Bill features Stone Barrington, Woods' lead series character. He's an ex-cop-turned-lawyer, and he's got a pretty sweet life. Cool pad, regular table at Elaine's in NYC, connections to a big law firm, while hanging his own shingle outside the afore-mentioned cool pad. Did I mention that he's a Babe Magnet? Like I said, a pretty cool life.

Into this life drops Billy Bob Barnstormer (yes, that's his name). A referral from the big firm, he's an outsized Texas hot shot, with personality to match. He comes to Stone under the auspices of needing a lawyer to help him navigate some murky transactional waters, but it doesn't take long to learn that he's up to a completely other thing, and it's no good.

Stone's life is, apparantly, a series of amazing coincidences. He meets Tiffany Baldwin, newly appointed US Attorney for the city of New York (yeah, she's hot, too), who just happens to be investigating someone that turns out to be Billy Bob, albeit using another identity. They hang out a bit, then become one of Billy Bob's little stunts, in one of the funnier sequences of the book.

Stone also meets another woman, who just HAPPENS to be Billy Bob's wife in YET ANOTHER identity. This is a story line that could have easily been dumped, since the end result was fairly insignificant to the story, and detracts from it as yet another piled-on coincidence.

But these are minor quibbles, really. Stuart Woods is all about action, and Two Dollar Bill is tick-full of it. He does a nice job of bringing in some the Barrington Regulars (Lance the CIA guy, Dino the ex-partner, and Arrington Calder, the ex-girlfriend), to help pull the switches.

Woods is well-versed in the slam-bang ending, this book being no exception. It's quite cinematic, really, and makes one wonder why some enterprising Hollywood story scout hasn't glommed onto this character's world.

Anyway, Two Dollar Bill is neither life-changing nor time-wasting. It has a snappy pace, and Stone Barrington is one cool dude.

A favorite fictional character of mine is Stone Barrington, the main character in Stewart Woods' latest Barrington novel, Two Dollar Bill. I enjoyed this one quite a bit...

Barrington is caught off guard when the legal firm he works with presents him with a new client who specifically requested his services. The client's name is Billy Bob Barnstormer, and he's a flamboyant character who seems to be flush with money (and doesn't have a specific reason to need legal representation). He ends up at Barrington's house as an overnight guest, and ends up leaving a dead prostitute in Stone's guest room. After a number of inquiries from various parties and a little research, Stone finds out that Billy Bob is just one of a number of aliases, and he's wanted by the local authorities, the FBI, *and* the CIA. And every one of those agencies wants Barrington to work with them to get their hands on Billy Bob first. Barrington has his own problems, because Billy Bob wants him dead for some reason. And the *real* Billy Bob is an ex-CIA agent who is trained to kill...

I really enjoyed this read. Nothing real heavy or complex... just an interesting story with some twists along the way. It took quite awhile to find out the "why" of how come Billy Bob had it in for Barrington, but it made sense once you got there. Seeing the cons unfold along the way were also entertaining. If you're a Stuart Woods/Stone Barrington fan, this makes a nice installment in the series...

Stuart Woods started out something of a novelist. His first real fiction book, "Chiefs", had pretensions to being a real novel, dealing (as it did) with three generations of law enforcement in a small town, and the criminal who lived and killed in the town right under everyone's nose. Since he's gotten to writing series, though, he's gotten much more formulaic, and it certainly looks as if he's given up any pretense of doing anything other than entertaining his readers in the here and now. There's no allusions to literature here: pop culture rules.

This time around, Woods's chief protagonist, Stone Barrington, is arm-twisted into taking as a client a loud-mouthed Texan named Billy Bob Barnstormer. The minute Billy Bob walks onto the pages of the book, you know he's trouble. Stone knows it too, but he is too courteous and friendly to avoid allowing the guy to kill a call girl in Stone's guest bedroom. He then plants a gun on Stone, and does other things that swiftly lead to Stone having to flee to various locations in and out of New York City, shooting various bad guys, engaging in chase scenes, etc.

This book is rather predictable. There's almost no atmosphere, character development, or other extraneous content. The whole of the story is plot, and there's little else. If someone were to develop this as a movie, it might actually have potential: actors could provide character, background could provide atmosphere. As it is, the characters go to the same restaurant repeatedly, and the owner's cranky. That's what passes for atmosphere here.

As many of the Stone Barrington series novels do, this one begins at Elaine's; a restaurant Stone dines at frequently in New York City. Stone has dropped by to have a drink having eaten dinner elsewhere as had Dino and Elaine wasn't thrilled that they were occupying Stone's usual table on a busy night. Bill Eggers, managing partner of Woodman & Weld arrives bringing Stone a new client. Stone handles the cases and problems that would be best not handled directly by employees of Woodman & Weld, so the fact Bill Eggers has brought in another isn't a surprise as Stone thinks he knows what to expect. Instead, the new client, who won't say why he needs Stone having asked for him specifically, is a stereotypical Texan from head to toe named Billy Bob Barnstormer. Stone takes an instant dislike to him but can't say no to Bill Eggers who has made it plain Stone is to handle Barnstormer.

Stone also can't say no when Dino helpfully suggests that Stone put up Barnstormer in his house for a few days. Eggers thinks it is a grate idea so with that decided Stone and Barnstormer head out into the cold night to go to Stone's home. Things quickly take a strange turn minutes later when someone opens fire shooting at Barnstormer and only hitting the window of his limousine. Barnstormer is ready to fire back, whipping out an old fashioned Colt Single Action Army six-shooter which Stone quickly takes away from him citing New York's well known gun laws. Those shots and Stone's subsequent confiscation of Barnstormer's gun mark the beginning of a client-attorney relationship that gets stranger and stranger with Stone in more and more trouble as the pages go by.

This novel is typical Stone Barrington and as such, poses little surprise for the reader. Slightly more complex than most in this long running series, it features the studly Stone Barrington as his graphic bedroom best. Between the attentions of a beautiful Untied Sates Attorney and his old flame Arrington, Stone has his hands full with the ladies in his life. Unfortunately, he isn't quite so adept in dealing with Billy Bob Barnstormer, a dead hooker found in his home that results in a murder investigation, and secrets from his past.

If you have read recent books in the series than you know exactly what you are getting. If you haven't, this novel is a cut above recent efforts on the series except for a final twist that many readers no doubt surmised books ago. Despite that anticlimactic moment, the novel is pretty good and will serve readers well on their favorite beach as the summer winds down.

Kevin R. Tipple © 2005

"Two-Dollar Bill" is the eleventh Stone Barrington novel. For me the Barrington novels are not up to par with Woods' earlier works such as "Chiefs", "Palindrome", and "Heat". However, the Barrington novels can be very entertaining. I think that "Two-Dollar Bill" is the best Stone Barrington novel in a long time. Bill Eggers of Woodman & Weld brings Stone a new client, a very rich Texan named Billy Bob Barnstormer who flashes around wads of rare $2 bills. Stone asks Billy Bob to stay in his house in Turtle Bay. After Billy Bob leaves on a trip to Omaha, Stone finds a dead hooker in his guest bedroom. Since Stone was the only other person in the house, he becomes a suspect in the murder. Stone is cleared when the maid reveals that the hooker was covered with an electric blanket. Stone's research on the Internet reveals that Billy Bob is not whom he claims he is, but is a ruthless con man who now wants to get rid of Stone Barrington. Old friends, Dino Bachetti and Lance Cabot, are in this novel. The book also marks the long awaited return of Arrington Carter Calder, Stone's one true love in life. She comes to New York to look for an apartment where she and her son, Peter, can stay some of the time. Stone always gets the girl. Before Arrington arrives he has a fling with Tiffany Baldwin, a US Attorney who is also interested in "Billy Bob". This novel was very suspenseful, and unlike some of the more recent Barrington novels, I could not put it down. If you are a fan of the Stone Barrington novels, this one is a must. I highly recommend it.

Maybe the most obvious thing to say, especially to those like us that have read every book in Woods' growing bibliography, including all the Stone Barrington series, is that this one is as predictably good as most of them. While sometimes our playboy sleuth's antics are just too good to be true, his friendly band of regulars - Dino, Elaine, Lance Cabot (CIA), ex- Arrington, and a new love interest, NY ADA Tiffany Baldwin - help conspire to make "$2 Bill" a fun read. Even the villain, Texas con artist Billy Bob Barnstormer, who spreads around two-dollar bills (hence the title) like they were pennies, has so many aliases and concurrent schemes going on that there's rarely a dull moment. Bill's attempt to cast suspicion on Stone by slaying a hooker while spending a night in Stone's house didn't really generate much suspense, but the multiple identity Billy Bob keeps law enforcement and Stone hopping to even figure out who's who half the time. An appearance by Stone's old lover Arrington Calder did heat up things near novel's end, in a couple of ways (!), and frankly the ending was both a little surprising and satisfying.

Many feel Woods' books have descended into straight formula work, though we feel the Holly Barker stories (she gets a few brief mentions herein) have a fresh feel to them. With the Barrington set running a dozen or so tales, it's tough to get too creative - but then we pretty much know what has to happen anyway! Enjoy!

When Stone Barrington, an upscale New York litigator, takes on new client Billy Bob Barnstormer on referral, he is nonplussed by the loud Texan's brash manner, but willing to accept the $50,000 retainer. Soon vague alarm bells sound when a shot rings out as they get into Billy Bob's limo, although no one is hurt. There's something to be said for listening to instincts, a fact Stone discovers as Billy Bob turns into the client from hell and Barrington is the main suspect in a murder.

Stone and his cronies meet often at Elaine's restaurant in New York, including Dino Bacchetti, the NYPD detective in charge of the 19th (Silk-Stocking) Precinct, which covers the Upper East Side. As the evidence further incriminates Barrington and exonerates Billy Bob, Dino is unable to help his friend out of a sticky situation. The circumstantial evidence is undeniable, although Billy Bob's actions belie his innocence. There is no lack of name-dropping, Mayor Bloomberg and Warren Buffett spicing up this stylish mystery. To add to the mix, the new US Attorney of New York is a looker who quickly hooks up with Barrington, filling their nights with extra-curricular activity.

Billy Bob has the habit of leaving two-dollar bills as tips, a denomination that has been out of circulation for years. When Barrington requests an FBI check on one of the bills, he learns it was stolen in an unsolved robbery in the 50's, two people left murdered. Questioned by the agent, Stone is in a Fifth Amendment fix, unable to discuss the source of the bill, the infamous Billy Bob. Soon enough Stone discovers that Billy Bob is a con artist with more than one identity, a man not to be underestimated.

In concurrent investigations, there is more than average interest from the FBI, NYPD and CIA, a number of aliases all belonging to Billy Bob, Stone's client and the agencies collide in a battle of one-upmanship, trumped by the CIA's urgent call for national security. Barrington is in the thick of things, hoping for a shot at Billy Bob himself, considering the trouble this client has given in their short-lived attorney-client relationship.

The action speeds up and things suddenly get complicated, not to mention dangerous, Billy Bob involved in a nefarious plot that is threatening innocent victims in New York City, as well as Stone, his ex-wife and her young son. What started as the frustrating chase of a con man turns deadly, Billy Bob proving himself a formidable adversary, a man on a mission with a need to put a serious hurt on Barrington and the people close to him. The chase is on, the NYPD and the CIA always one step behind, badly underestimating Billy Bob's talents. Woods brings it all home with enough suspense and wild action to keep the pages turning, an awful reminder that nothing is what it seems. Luan Gaines/2005.

Stone Barrington, the ex-cop, lawyer, and ladies man is back. This time, he's placed on retainer by a flamboyantly wealthy Texan named Billy Bob Barnstormer. When Billy Bob's date winds up dead in Stone's guestroom, Stone and his cop friend Dino investigate the murder. It turns out that Billy Bob is not what, or who, he seems. The feds, the CIA, and the NYPD are all soon after the elusive con man, and things turn dangerous for Stone when Billy Bob decides to turn the tables on him.

Stuart Woods has a formula that has worked for many Stone Barrington novels, and he doesn't diverge from it now. Stone is still the suave James Bond-like protagonist who bravely goes after the bad guys while barely breaking into a sweat. He is still pursued by incredibly beautiful and wealthy women, this time by the U.S. Attorney for the state of New York as well as by his ex-flame Arrington Carter. As usual there are plenty of dinners at Elaine's, bedroom romps, unrealistic and often outrageous scenarios, and chase scenes. There is still a predictable outcome, although there are a few turns along the way.

This is a quick read with short chapters, comic dialog, and lots of action. It is a fairly entertaining, although simplistic, story. The reason why I gave it only 3 stars is because it's almost become a stereotype of a Stone Barrington novel. If you enjoyed others in the series and want more of the same but in a more concentrated dose, you'll like this one. If you want something with some substance or with a bit of finesse, you will be disappointed.

Eileen Rieback

After the last Stuart Woods novel I read, I swore I'd never read another. Mr. Woods can thank the fact that not one other author that I normally read has a new book out right now for his gaining one additional sale on this one. However, I'm not sure that he cares -- and even if he knew about it, he'd probably just write some obnoxious reprimand and stick it in the back of each future book he puts out.

Is Stone ever going to do anything but eat dinner at Elaine's with Dino, bed every female that crosses his path, and basically save the world? Each book becomes more of a joke, with nothing new or interesting happening in Stone's world. There's no character growth. Women he's never met rip off their clothes and throw themselves at his feet as soon as they lay eyes on him. Government officials and police officers take orders from him. And I'm half-tempted to go into Elaine's on my next trip to NY and throw a drink in her face. Enough with the sucking up, Stu.

Now that Holly Barker is leaving Orchid Beach, I don't think there'll be any reason to continue wasting my money on anything put out by this author. Maybe Holly's next adventure will prove me wrong. However, I doubt it.

Here's another lawyer with a black Lincoln! This one lives in New York City and is accustomed to wearing tuxedoes, cashmere coats, and Italian loafers. He even has a girlfriend with a chauffeured Bentley -- who deserts him, again.

An uncouth Texam from Dallas, purportedly a billionaire with his private plane and limousine, claiming to be the heir to Southwest Airlines. He pulls a big one on the big city lawyer. Six foot, 4 inches tall, dressed western style with Stetson, Colt pistol and all, and turned out to be a big spender with a two dollar bill. It turns out he is an escaped convict from Sing-Sing prison.

The FBI, CIA, Secret Service, and other government agencies are involved at the pivotal point. This time, Stone Barrington has to prove his expertise at flying a helicopter and rescuing a young boy who was kidnapped as hostage by Billy Bob.

I remember reading UNDER THE LAKE, of all the fiction listed, which was a lot different from this one. Stuart Woods is a man's writer: tough talk, vulgarity, drinking bourbon in New York clubs as an ordinary thing to do on a Thursday night -- 'nough said.

This is the first Stuart Woods "Stone Barrington" novel I've read.

It's a fun read. I felt like it was a time machine transporting me back to the 1930s or 40s and the "Nick and Nora" movies. There's not much substance here, which isn't a bad thing since Woods is a very fine storyteller.

The story here is of Stone Barrington, former cop turned lawyer. He handles the cases a bie, prestigious law firm doesn't want, the special situations. Stone is, of course, independently wealthy which provides him (and Woods) freedom of action.

Stone is introduced to Billy Bob Barnstormer, a stereotype of every bad Texas joke you can imagine. Loud, crass, vulgar and, of course, filthy rich. Billy Bob peels off $2 bills as tips.

But Billy Bob isn't really Billy Bob. Well he is Billy Bob and whole bunch of other people as well.

The characters are thin, but no problem. Woods constructs a very tight plot and keeps the action moving, though not without a whole bunch of very convenient inventions. But again, no problem, because this isn't a novel to be taken seriously. It's just plain fun reading, mystery as pure entertainment.

While not a pulse-pounding, page-turner that keeps you on the edge of your seat, Woods turns in an excellent read, just the kind of thing you'd want for a long flight or quiet afternoon. Good stuff.

Jerry

I enjoy all of Stuart Woods "Stone Barrington" series. They all have excitement, suspense and character familiarity, which provides the reader with a sense of continuity, yet there is a middle, beginning and end to each book and they never disappoint and "Two Dollar Bill" is no exception. I especially like the cover - where he features "Elaine's" - Barrington's favorite hang-out spot. I think that was an extra special touch. Definitely recommend this book.

At Elaine's nightclub in Manhattan, lawyer Stone Barrington meets his new client Billy Bob Barnstormer. Stone doesn't understand why Billy Bob needs an attorney, but he gets his first inkling that this is the client from the nether regions when someone shoots at them while in a moving vehicle. Billy Bob stays at Stone's house for awhile floating a wad of cash including two dollar bills. When his latest client and houseguest vanish, Stone and his girlfriend District Attorney Tiffany Baldwin share some recreational sex.

The next day on the Justice website, is a video of the DA and Stone having sex; another relationship of Stone's is also trashed. Besides the video, Billy Bob left behind a present for his host, the strangled body of a call girl. Stone does an internet search on his former guest only to find that Billy Bob has many aliases in varying corporations. The CIA want Stone to help them find Billy Bob who has stole weapons that terrorists will pay a great deal of money to get their hands on. The FBI wants Stone to help them find Billy Bob who has stolen money in his possession. The DA wants Stone to find Billy Bob not just because of the embarrassing video, but because he stiffed many people with his con games. Stone wants Billy Bob for personal reasons.

Stuart Woods has created a fabulous hero who can turn from nebbish to dynamo when he feels someone threatens people he cares about. Stone does not know why Billy Bob targeted him, but he knows he must take precautions to stop this psychopath; alas his efforts fail and he becomes a hunter tracking his prey. Mr. Woods provides a delightful Barrington tale in which the enemy will fascinate readers with his outrageous behavior.

Harriet Klausner

Previous enjoyment of the Stone Barrington novels makes this one all the more disappointing. So much so that it's hard to believe that Mr. Woods, normally so erudite and creative, could actually have written this.

Other reader reviews have commented on the pitiful plot, and some mentioned the gratuitous political jabs. It is truly offensive when fiction writers attempt to share their politics with us, the "great un-washed," in this manner, regardless of whether you agree with the sarcasm or not. I'm not willing to spend the time looking up and quoting the actual passage, but in one scene with a woman, the subject of torture (of a sexual nature, all in fun, of course) comes up, and Stone comments that we're not in Guantanamo, or some such ridiculous reference.

If you simply must have another Stone Barrington "fix," by all means check this one out at your library. Seriously, don't spend your money. Perhaps we readers can make an impression that we'd appreciate our reading to continue to be a nice, entertaining passtime. And, maybe Mr. Woods will get serious again. You know things are going downhill when Stone fails to confirm that a large retainer check has actually cleared before ordering a refund be delivered to the client in certified funds.

Stuart Woods' follow-up in the Stone Barrington crime novels may be a Wonder Bread out of sight out of mind entertainment, but its action keeps the pages turning. My housework had to wait "just one more chapter." In line with Mission Impossible type of action, Woods fulfills testosterone fantasies of saving the daym extraordinary escapes, and sexy women. The book reads like a movie with fast moving realistic dialogue. It comes fully equipped with terrorist suppliers, Agency trained warriors on both sides, and helicopter rides, all beginning with a stereotypical Texan. Often, coincident situations seem improbable, but if you are willing to set aside your boundaries of reality in the name of entertainment, go to it. I would like to add one SIP phrase to the store's: the CIA agent Lance rarely talks. He drawls. I recommend this book for a quick read to escape the humdrum office or vacuuming or fighting toddlers.

This book should be called 38 dinners at Elaine's instead of `2 Dollar Bill.' It seems like Stone, Dino, and a slew of other characters are spending every other page entering the restaurant. I feel a little bad trashing this book. The author photo of Stewart Woods shows the face of a man who appears humble and defenseless. But it was so bad, that even a defenseless chap like Woods deserves no sympathy. I am trying to remember earlier Barrington books. I know that I have not enjoyed the last couple of titles in the series. They are getting so outlandish and inconceivable that its like spending some time in the mind of a five year old playing with action figures rather than being led on a taught story under the capable hands of a true suspense writer.

`Two Dollar Bill' is probably the worst Barrington novel yet. It is very shoddily pieced together. There is no other way to put it than that Woods has lost his grasp as to what it is to be a genre writer. To start with the ins and outs of the plot are sheer lunacy. The amorphous character that is the namesake for the title is such a mass of conflicting personalities that it is difficult to accredit him with being little more than a device. `Two Dollar Bill' is used at the whim of the author to fit any need at any time in order to further along the story. Its as if he were an idea at the back of Woods mind that never seems to have been fleshed out.

Barrington himself has turned into a comic stereotype of his old self and his antics along with his friend's correlates with the old Keystone Cops movies of the silent era. A bunch of bumbling buffoons that belies the very notion of whether or not to take them seriously with out liberal uses of salt.

I would entirely pass this book by. Try one of Harlan Coben's earlier books that dose not employ the character of Myron Bolitar. Open up a Denis Lehane book or a Jim Harrison suspense novel. Any of these authors have easily distanced themselves from the dregs of Woods imagination. Save yourself the suffering of having to plow through one page of poorly written prose after another.

This is another Stone Barrington novel. If you like this series, then you'll probably like this novel. But you can do much better. The characters are wooden, the dialogue stilted and Stone's exploits are outlandish. Woods has adopted James Patterson's style of short chapters but unlike Patterson he doesn't pull it off. I just read Lifeguard by Patterson. While it is not great literature it delivers exactly what it promises and is a highly entertaining read. Sadly, the same cannot be said for this novel by Woods. Stuart, it's time to pack it up.

Since I seem to have seen the same comments/complaints in the reviews of the two latest Stone Barrington novels by Stuart Woods (Reckless Abandon, Two-Dollar Bill), I'll do two quick reviews in one and address them, while adding my own two cent's worth. I'll post this effort on the the store pages for both books.

First, a few general comments.

1) If you have a favorite restaurant, you eat there. If you can afford to do so, you eat there often.

2) Why so upset about the sex? Jealous?

3) Remember the Constitution? Despite our clueless leader's efforts to repeal it, it still guarantees all of us freedom of speech, expression, etc. Now if Mr. Woods wants to use his free speech to criticize the war-mongering, right-wing, conservative administration currently in power, he is totally within his rights to do so.

Well, enough ranting. On with the review.

I'd have to say that the two most recent Stone Barrington novels were not the best of the series. To me, the series seems to be veering into the realm of the ridiculous, which I had hoped was left behind with the psychotic Mob daughter that nearly became Stone's wife. The earlier stories had more believable plots (the possible exception being the one where not one, but two killers manage buy their way out of a death sentence.) Contributing to the comic opera tone of the novels is the reappearance of a photographer who has raised stupidity to an art form. I sincerely hope we've seen the last of him.

I am not going to give up on this series by Mr. Woods. Not yet, anyway. However, the same cannot be said for his Orchid series. In my opinion, in transforming his protagonist from small town police chief to "Jane Bond, Superspy," Mr. Woods has caused a promising series to pole vault over the line of believability. That's one reason I'm going to stop reading the Orchid series. The other reason can be summed up in two words: Lance Cabot, who is probably going to end up playing a bigger role in the Orchid series. He comes off as a pompous, arrogant, jerk, who is more than willing to let killers walk free because of "national security." Over the course of two books, he coerces Stone into signing a contract with "the agency," orders him around like a flunky, threatens him with induction into the military, and even threatens to shoot Stone in the knee. All I can say is that I hope in future books, Stone uses his legal skills to break his contract with "the agency," so he (and we) won't have to put up with Mr. Cabot anymore.

In a nutshell, I think the best thing for this series would be to lose the CIA/SIS connection entirely, and give the readers back the serious plots of the earlier books.

Stuart Woods is not an overly clever writer, and this book epitomizes it. Many of the plot "twists" are circular and seem to only be there to take up space. There isn't a lot of continuity is plot changes, no real logical progression, etc.

Thankfully I got this book from the library and did not pay for it . I read 54% of it on Kindle before I surrendered. I'm embarrassed I read that much. They go to Elaine's restaurant so often I was getting indigestion. Most of the story line and the characters are ridiculous. it is mindless dribble. 1 star is too much.

It is always great when someone comes back and says thanks for telling me about a particular author. He went on to say that the Stuart Woods book that I recommended to him was fantastic and after he read that one he went out and bought nine more. He kept telling his wife about his new author find and now she is reading them as fast as he finishes them. So that's why I'm choosing one of Stuart's books, Two Dollar Bill, to review this month.

With Stuart Woods I can always count on a lot of action, with lots of twists and turns in the plot, and with familiar and enjoyable characters I've come to know over several books. In this particular series of books the main character is Stone Barrington, an attorney in New York City. Others are his old police partner and still best friend, Lieutenant Dino Bacchetti, of the New York Police Department, Lance Cabot, a CIA heavy-weight, that always seems to give just enough information to either Dino or Stone to help them out in solving various murders, and former long-term girlfriend, Arrington Carter, who comes to town with her nine-year-old son, Peter (who might or might not be Stone's son.) Two Dollar Bill can be read as a stand-alone book, but I think that if you enjoy reading books in a logical progression, you would want to start the Stone Barrington series with New York Dead and follow these characters through their many adventures.

The story opens when Stone meets his new client, Billy Bob Barnstormer, alias "Two Dollar Bill." You know the type - big, Texan, loud, rich, (and wanting to flaunt that he is rich by telling them that he is working on a big deal with Warren Buffett or just mentioning that he flew in on his private jet.) As Stone is getting into Two Dollar Bill's limo, bullets start flying as soon as the door closes, shattering the windows of the limo. Two Dollar Bill and his girl friend end up moving into the guest room of Stone's mansion combination home & office. When the girlfriend ends up dead in Stone's guest room, Stone is the prime suspect. But when Lieutenant Dino starts the inquiry into the death, with the help of the medical examiner, they realize that the time of death has been thrown askew because the murderer used an electric blanket to keep the body warm. Now it is time for Two Dollar Bill to disappear, leaving Stone to try to explain to Dino what was going on. When Stone starts investigating his so-called client, he finds out that he was a CPA in Enid Oklahoma, a used car dealer in San Mateo, California using the identity of Rodney Peeples, a first-class con-man and wanted by various agencies. When Two Dollar Bill re-appears, it seems that he is out gunning for Stone and kidnaps Arrington. This brings in the "Feds" and then the CIA in the person of Lance Cabot.

Does Stone get Arrington back alive & safe? Read the book. Stop by and "Let's Talk Books!"

Why do I read this trash. Stupid absurd plot. Easy read but insultingly dumb. Maybe the worst of his many plotless Barrington books. Really and truly awful. Even as a free checkout from my library it was a lousy deal. You would have to pay me to read another stupid Barrington book

The endlessly witty Stone Barrington is back! In his usual unflappable way he has found himself yet again embroiled in someone's criminal endeavors. Will he never learn? We hope not! With the help of his good friend Dino, NYPD, and his not-so-good friend, Lance, CIA; Stone must try to determine just who the flashy billionaire Billy Bob Barnstormer really is and what is he trying to do? Why is he passing out two dollar bills like he has an endless stash (earning him the nickname "Two Dollar Bill" - hence the book title. Hardy-Har)? Why did he leave a hooker in Stone's guest room? Why is he being tracked by the Justice Department, NYPD, Army, and CIA? Perhaps most important, why is he trying to kill Stone? With more questions than answers this is not so much a who-dun-it as a why-dun-it and Woods keeps you hanging on to the very last page. As ever, you will be impressed by Stone's resourcefulness, quick wit, and luck with the ladies.

Picking up a Stone Barrington novel is like visiting an old friend. Namely, a slick, slightly upper class friend who has almost everything.

Two Dollar Bill introduces a character named Bullit, who is a rich investor from Texas. Stone asks for Bullit to stay at his house, and the next morning, a call girl winds up dead in Stone's guest room.

From there, Stone is hurled into figuring out who Bullit is, and what his scheme is, ending with a little suprise at the end.

All in all, a fast moving, engaging plot as one would suspect no less from a Stuart Woods Stone Barrington novel.

I really enjoyed that the author had Stone deal with some more weighty ethical issues in this book. I still think he gives us too many gratuitous sexual encounters. I guess some must get a vicarious thrill from them but I find them redundant.

How did this mess get published? The CIA and the Federal Justice Dept didn't think to Google the villain but an ex-cop lawyer did? This book is so bad it amazes me that it ever saw print. The WORST most awkward sex scenes ever; the most phony dialogue; a meandering series of incidents masquerading as plot. Do not spend a dime on this book.

Stone is back and enjoying life as usual, till he meets the stranger everyone calls Two Dollar Bill. This is the same lovable Stone Barrington that we have known for a long time, a few twists with Bill keep it interesting. The political comments get tired after a the first couple, but all in all an enjoyable read

Yikes. Woods is confusing - some of his is good (e.g., see "Prince of Beverly Hills") but this one is a one-month write. Avoid it.

I read and rate 8 to10 books in this genre each month. I rate each book based on a 0-5 point scale. This book rated as follows: Characters 2. Realism: 2. Description: 2. Ah Ha: 3. The Read: 2 Overall, the book ranked 292 out of 368 books.

I have always loved Stone Barrington. Mr Woods added Holly Barker and as always Elaine's for dinner with Dino.

This book just got off to a slow and predictable beginning.I managed to stay with it, but it does not have the "can't put it down" magnitude of Imperfect Strangers and Capitol Crimes.

Billy Barnstromer got a little ridiculous.

The incident in the helicopter was too much to keep up with.

Mr Woods,

Tone down the language and bring the "who done it?" back to your novels.

I agree with others who were disappointed with this one. A little too out there. His books are quick and entertaining to read almost regardless, but some earlier books are much better. (My personal favourite is Imperfect Strangers)

The new novel by Mr. Woods is fine and enjoyable. It does, however, excell in bashing christians and Republicans especially our former Attorney General and

current President. The bashing is relentless. The story is good and fast paced. If you are of a left leaning ideology or are upset over the last two elections this book will be enjoyable. If you are Right leaning, buck up. Don't bother with the book if you are thin skinned.