Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques - and Other Realities of Adolescence

Great book for counselors to help kids cope with cliques, even though it is written to parents. I have used it in counseling sessions with the girls in the cliques, as well as their targets, to raise their awareness. It has helped change behavior already. It is the best book on girl bullying I have found.

This book was very useful to me raising young girls to help us understand why girls act a certain way and when as a parent I needed to step in. What I needed to do to approach teachers and other parents. It is a must read.

So I bought the book in hopes of learning something about my 13-year-old daughter. What I found was the author's attempt to sell her program: "Empower." I would have been better served if she were more focused. I felt the book strayed--there was lots roll-playing which I believed to be a distraction. At this point I'm on the hunt for a book that will really be of benefit to me, my daughter, our relationship and her roll in her social circle.

If you are facing life with a surly, self involved daughter, then this book is for you. My biggest concern is that the author lumps "all" adolescent girls in the same category..A very negative one. The claim that your daughter WILL turn her back on you as a parent and dismiss you in favor (always) of her friends may be true of some girls, but dare I say not ALL.

It's the across the board generalizations that bother me. Teenaged girls do have things in common, but in this book there is no accounting for individual temperment, family dynamics, nor already present relationships with the parent(s.)

Another reviewer said it best:

"Wow - I guess this book might be meaningful to a very shallow "princess" culture, but real kids have a bit more brains, compassion and depth than the sad cases she writes about. Glad I'm beyond that stuff - so are most of my friends."

Well said! My 14 year old daughter and her friends are a testament to this statement. They may be High Honor Students and "band geeks" but I'll be darned if any of them fit the narrow mold this book portrays. They are hysterically funny, kind, emotional, creative and most of all INDIVIDUALS. Though I will say I do know a few girls who fit the portrayals in this book.

If you have a good relationship with your daughter, especially with communication, this book may seem like foreign culture to you. But if you have been raising a shallow, surly, spoiled teen, you may benefit from what it has to offer..

I survived eight years of single sex education (high school and college), and work in an industry populated by mostly women in office settings. I am here to tell you, it doesn't matter if you are a teenager in classes with other teenagers, or if you are in a multi-age group setting in an office - GIRLS / WOMEN ARE JEALOUS AND TWO FACED! As the movie Mean Girls was based on this book, it was more of a documentary than entertainment (although it was certainly both), and you realize how depressing it really is.

Girls are mean. Period. No human female despite age, race, soci-economic backgrounds, value system, etc. is immune to the sociopathic tendancies that women are capable of. This is a good book for women to understand their peers and for mothers to understand what their daughters are going through. Traditionally, women were not taught until relatively recently that we are able to achieve the same things that men are. How we attained power was to cut each other in half with words. You as a woman must overcome jealousy and stop pitting one against the other.

However, while this book gives sound advice as to how, why and what to do about the caddiness of girls / women, it can only give you good coping skills. The best way to handle these situations is to be nice, but not too nice to others. Don't let people get too close that they have ammunition to use against you. Believe me, if you have never experienced this before, you have no idea the lengths people will go to in order to cut you down. And, somewhat crazy as it may sound, I am a 33 year old woman whose closest friends are all men. Jealousy, emotion, and irrational behavior has cost me several women friends I've had over the years. It's rough sometimes, but, I guess I have no choice, do I?

but, honestly, the book is a very over-dramatic version of what teenaged girls are like, as far as my experience has been (I'm eighteen now and in college). I can honestly say that the most popular girls at my school were intelligent, friendly, personable young women who were popular because we all liked them (and, no, I wasn't one of them). I'll be the first to admit that it's a great read--lots of interesting and funny stories--but, seriously, it's completely the opposite of my memories of middle and high school. The book always made me worry that I was "evil," since according to Ms. Wiseman, only the meanest girl in the class says that everyone pretty much gets along and hangs out with her friend, but that's honestly how school was for me, and I was nothing like a "queen bee."

It's not a bad book to remind girls how to behave, but for moms? This book will scare you for no real reason. Most of the girls I knew in high school had their heads on straight and are doing well at college now. I think that Ms. Wiseman is projecting her own bad memories of school and popularity on everyone else.

Having grown up with no sisters, the female mind is even more of a mystery to me than it is to most men. As a former high school teacher I had to deal with the sorts of girls described in the book, and found it helpful. I only gave it two because what mere male can really know the inner workings of the female mind?

My first impressions of Queenbees & Wannabees by Rosalind Wiseman were, after seeing the 'Mean Girls' film. I thought it could be a fiction novel in the same witty vain as 'Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen' by Dyan Sheldon, and movie that is just as fabulous, which I both loved with Lindsay Lohan.

However, what I found to my great relief was a non-fiction book about teenage life for both girls and boys. When I found the book I instantly had an invested interest in it. However it took me at least six months to finally sit down and read it. I didn't want to rush it.

So I read 'Odd Girl Out' and it's sequel 'Odd Girl Speaks Out' by Rachel Simmons first before I got to one of my most special books I've ever read. In fact I'd really recommend these other two books as well along with this one. So it can be like a trilogy, and so very exciting to read. They are seperate books, so you don't have to do what I did and read them like a trilogy, but it helped make them all very exciting to read.

While reading I found the subject matter of great interest to me. I was really interested in knowing about the female perspective on life and this really gave me some wonderful things to look for and consider, most of which I do already, but is still worth remembering. Both sexes should make an effort to live in harmony with one another.

For years I haven't really been interested in teen films or TV shows, but all this has changed dramatically and I adore them now. Also since leaving school I can refect on the good and bad times. I've found I also have a deep interest and compassion for those in Collumbine High School and the shooting tragedy that occured April 20th 1999. Even though I wasn't there, I care about the American people and high schools. I also enjoy 'Boston Public'.

As you can see Ms. Wiseman's book has really opened up a whole new world to me I love exploring. So much so I had to email her to tell her how much I adored her book. Some of her advice could seem repetitive or just common sense, but I urge you to still read on. What she has to say does matter. I read slowly and really hung on every word. Readers who read fiction can afford not to pay so much attention to what they are reading, but not here.

I loved this book. I could write about my thoughts on it forever and never get tired. I am not a school teacher, I'm not a teacher of any sort, but I really love the subject matter in this book. I encourage anyone who has read this book to share their thoughts with me. For anyone who thinks school will never end, don't lose hope, it will. Then the rest of this wonderful world awaits. I really want to help in teenagers lives and with this book anything is possible. A book to be treasured like gold for anyone. A book worth revisiting again and again as we all live our lives the best way we know how. No one is exempt from reading this book. We are all special in our own unique way. If you've ever lost your way this book will give you hope at finding it again. Queen Bees and Wannabees is one book worth remembering. I know it is one book I'll never forget.