My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness

Really, this young woman has many difficulties to overcome: depression, eating disorders, cutting - each one by itself can be life-threatening. And under it all (or because of it), a crippling social disorder. I find this a vivid, endearing account of facing those problems and prevailing. I can't call it total victory. All those demons still seem to lie in wait, in the deep corners of her mind. I know, it takes a distinctive kind of strength to build your life with them in the basement.

So, up in her twenties, she has enough attention left over to reach out to someone else, and finds that she doesn't know how. Cripes, not to her degree, but I know a little about that. And she finds herself almost a stranger in this womanly body she's had for so long. Not knowing how to reach out to others and not knowing what physical person to reach out with - well, I can barely imagine it. But reach out she did, engaging professional help in her search, another brave act. (Braver than I would have been.)

So, although this title makes much of the lesbian experience, I found that a minor theme. Being "one of them" never arose as a cause of isolation. "Am I one of them?" never seemed to be a momentous question. She had so much else going on that attraction to boy vs girl seemed barely a footnote. (I don't demean the importance of that question. I do weigh it against larger questions in a troubled life.) BTW, if you're looking for a salacious girl-on-girl first time thing, you'll mostly find the kind of awkwardness that I (straight male) found in getting bare with my (straight female) first partners.

Read it as a lesbian experience if you want to, because it is. But this resonates with so many readers because it's a collection of growing experiences shared by far more grownups than the title suggests.

-- wiredweird

I can totally related to the main character/creator. Being a shy and quiet nerd that I am, along with being in my current runt, I can understand this character. In addition, it help open my eyes to the fact that human communication is a seriously important.

"My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness" was an interesting look at mental illness from a queer lens but it wasn't my cup of tea. I found it relatable in the beginning but once Nagata got into the root of her mental illness and ideas about sexuality, that ship sailed. But that's the interesting thing about mental illness - it affects everyone differently. The same thing with sexuality.

I enjoyed the art and Kabi's candidness the most. The book is less humorous than I expected (could be a cultural thing) and her frankness towards mental health wasn't to my liking hence me removing two stars. I do think this book could help others though. So yes, I would recommend this book. But only to depressed and sexually inexperienced queer women who are having a tough time understanding how their sexuality and mental illness affect their interactions with other women.

As a lesbian myself, I really wanted to like this book. Unfortunately, I did not. This story left me feeling even lonelier than before, and even hopeless. With how much excitement I saw in the reviews, I felt this book was misrepresented, so here is my honest review. Mild spoilers ahead.

First, this is not so much a story about finding your sexuality as it is about struggling with mental illness. There is nothing wrong with that, of course, but the title is misleading in that regard. The author never once calls herself gay or lesbian through the whole piece, treating it as sort of an unmentioned after thought. The author details a life that may feel familiar to many: struggles with depression, anxiety, self harm, eating disorders, loneliness, and suicidal thoughts. She tries to impress her parents at the detriment of understanding herself. She doesn't have a single friend.

She is extremely starved for intimacy and talks about wanting badly to be held by someone. She clings to her mother, which manifests in a borderline incestuous Oedipus-complex. Desperate, she contacts a "lesbian escort service" and hires a prostituted woman to sleep with. While the escort is kind, the author is paralyzed with anxiety and fear, holding still while letting the escort awkwardly attempt to do things with her. (This is what is depicted on the cover.)

Not knowing what to do, the author decides to make a comic about the experience, the very experience in this book. This ends up being a runaway success online, and for perhaps the first time, the author receives compliments and understanding about her work and life experience. The author is thrilled to get the positive feedback, saying that she finally has a reason to stay alive. And that, is essentially where the story ends.

The author's experience is true to life, but left me feeling hopeless. In the end, little has been resolved: she is still at the mercy of her mental illnesses, her situation has barely changed, and she still doesn't have a single friend. As we all know, the intoxicating feeling of internet validation is exciting but fleeting, and can sometimes even make things worse. I asked myself what lesson she was trying to share with other lesbians in Japan, or even around the world. That loneliness is common and miserable and that there is no escape? Try to turn your misery into a viral sensation by putting yourself in unbearably uncomfortable situations? It's hopeless to escape your situation, so at least try to get some online attention for a while?

I wanted something to give me hope, but now this book is hard for me to even look at the cover of. I wanted to return it, but a friend convinced me to let her have it instead. Hopefully this review is helpful to someone, and I will continue to search for quality lesbian literature.

"My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness" is one of those books that I find to be really good, but not exactly an enjoyable read all the way through. That kind of story that make you cringe while you read it, even mores so when you read one of those moments that hit a bit to close to home.
It's a very naked (no pun intend) and brutally honest memoir of the Author, Nagata Kabi, early adult hood and her struggle with depression, anxiety, and sexuality. Very much in the same vain as Craig Thompson "Blankets".
It is a uplifting story in the end, but not a book I can easily recommend to many, but is a book worth checking out.

I dont remember whe recommended this to me, but I'm very glad they did.

This autobiographical manga details the authors journey of from self-loathing to self-discovery to self-reliance unlike many other peices of fiction I have read.

I feel as though this book is miscategorized. It doesn't follow many of the conventions of what I understand to be "yuri".

But it is perhaps a good thing that is not in another category, as this might help the author reach out to young people who need the realizations it contains.

I would and will recommend this book to people suffering from depression and anxiety.

100% recommended read!

Great for LGBT+ or non LGBT+ plus crowd!!!! It presents subjects like sexuality, craving parental acceptance, finding who you are after the routine of education, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and building up the courage to follow what you want in life even if it isn't what is accepted widely or gives a stable income, etc.. in a easy to follow writing style that doesn't make it too 'heavy' to read casually. The cute and simple art definitely adds even more charm!!!

A very relatable as well as empathetic book... I quickly fell in love and if you're iffy on buying it, take the leap and add it to your cart!!!

I wish this author/artist the best!!!! Much support to her!

A quick, but fantastic read. The author's true story of assessing and overcoming her mental illness, particularly in regards to how she connects with other people on a deeper level, is sad, touching, funny and beautiful in equal measure. The art style is simple, but expressive, and while there is some nudity, it's never meant to be erotic. I could relate to the author, having struggled with similar issues of anxiety and low self-esteem, and if this the premise of this manga speaks to you, I think you could find a lesson to take away from it as well.

I smiled and giggled through nearly the whole thing(and welled up with tears a lil' bit too). Great motivational material to kickstart a life of following your passions and being true and loving to yourself!

A story about a young woman going through a severe depression. Discovering who she is while going through the motions of life and how they affect her. I have personally experienced extreme depression and anyone else who also has will understand this well.

Probably one of the most relatable things I've read in my life.. more so on the finding a place to belong to rather than the lesbian part. Very fresh, brutally honest and transparent. Definitely one of the must reads!

This exceeded my expectations and I ended up reading the whole thing in one sitting. I also pre-ordered the sequel as soon as it was announced. If you'd like to read a short, fun, and insightful book about discovering ones identity and its struggled, definitely read this

An excellent book. It’s a sincere story that will click with a lot of lesbians who deal with depression and anxiety. It’s an inspiring success story in a way, showing the challenges of growth out of hindering disorders. A very nice quick read

as the title suggests, i was impressed with how specific yet universal it was. i didn’t have much in common in her upbringing or mood or how her specific paraphilias and stuff manifested, but i found it so deeply relatable–though, like she says in the book, i’m the exact same sort of “i want to know everyone’s secrets” kinda person, so she had me on that account. i could read people’s autobiographical manga confessionals every day of the week

probably like everyone, i hooked into the “eternal adolescence,” question at the center of this. “when am i going to be a grown-up?” is pretty universal w/ millennials (and as one of the oldest kinds of millennials, i guess i got an extra-strong first dose), so in a way… well, i’ve always found it comforting to read really sad stuff when i’m sad, but it’s not usually been my experience that the sad-stuff is so tuned to such a fine point

and it’s auto-bio in a way that stuff that ends up translated and over here seems like it never is (especially coming from women). it ain’t pretty. she talks about her eating disorder and her bald spot, and i can imagine how simultaneously energizing/enervating that is. i mean, i get stressed out when i say i wore a top with a hole in a bad place online and don’t even try to talk to me after i accidentally almost got off the elevator thinking we’d gotten to the first floor butactuallywewerejuststoppingonANOTHERFLOORONTHEWAYDOWNAND–

so even though i had difference expressions of anxiety and grief than she did, i gained a lot from it. and the whole book is wrapped in this evocative metaphorical sense where–i guess if you’re a particular sort of sad, gay, emotionally-isolated artist type, whether you’ve had a lot of sex or no sex, you can’t NOT jump up and be like “yeah, that! that’s the thing i want!” and it’s good to be reminded of that, when you’re quietly sinking into one of those “nothing in my life has ever meant anything, here’s how i can abstract anyway everything i’ve done or had done to me” fogs, like the one i’ve kind of just barely not-entirely been skirting lately.

i’ve often sorta wondered how many dorky queers now use this book as a rosetta stone or somethin’ in therapy (tho if anything it’s more of a shibboleth). i know i did (and how! by which i mean “frequently and to the point of error”) and i’ve been referring to it again anew, now that the sequel is out :3 hich is apparently a multi-volume production?? :o feeling totally #blessed that there’s a second volume of My Solo Exchange diary coming out, even if it’s not coming out immediately, as i’d prefer it to!

My friend purchased this for me because we both saw it circulating on Twitter and resonated with the excerpts we saw of it. When I picked the book up, I couldn't put it down until I read it end to end, and by the time it was over I cried. I feel like I'll read it over and over again just because the message is so personal to me, and that the message in it stands as a good reminder for my own life.
It's also really well printed. It comes in a sturdy laminate cover and the pages are matte and easy on the eyes.

I loved this book from beginning to end!!! I’ve never been able to relate to a person so much in my life. I can’t wait to read the sequel. I’m so glad I stumbled by this book while traveling. I couldn’t put it down and it left me wanting more. I highly recommend this book if you’re looking for authenticity when it comes to mental health and sexuality. This author nailed it!

It feels like I'm reading about myself, especially the depression part. This was recommended by a friend who said, this is so you!

And he's right. Told in a candid voice, the story gripped me from start to finish. Definitely recommended.

I’ve suffered from depression for a while now and though I’m medicated and doing way better it’s something that sticks with you. I was so struck by only the first 12 PAGES of this book for its introspective description of depression in a sort of candid way.
It doesn’t make depression feel so heavy, it talks about it kind of casually with cute drawings. So very relatable. Highly recommend!