A Girl's Guide to Vampires (Dark Ones series Book 1)

Wow! I am so happy to have discovered Katie MacAlister. She does what most authors cannot - mixes sexiness, romance and humor to create a perfect recipe for a book you absolutely cannot put down. In GGV, you also get a dip into the paranormal. This is not a "carbon copy" of Feehan's work (as one reviewer mistakenly believes); Rather, it is Katie's own brand of "semi-vampires" - Dark Ones. And boy are they yummy! What sets Katie's version of the paranormal apart is the combination of her sharp wit and funny dialogue which result in a lighter version of the paranormal. Katie's characters are likeable, funny and sexy. (especially the guys! The best part is the "guy who does NOT get the girl" at the end has his own book coming out in March - SEX AND THE SINGLE VAMPIRE - Can't wait!!) One reviewer hammered on the main female character - Joy. I had to search my memory to even recall the so-called temper tantrums and crying jags to which this reviewer referred. Made me wonder if she even read the book. What I recall is a strong-willed, self-deprecating, funny, sexy heroine who moved the story along at wickedly enjoyable pace. I find it even more amusing that this same reviewer can't fathom how two girls who "bicker and snipe" at one another could truly be friends!?! One has to wonder if this reviewer has any girlfriends. The relationship between Joy and Roxy is true to form for best friends who have known each other since kindergarten and are more like sisters. Their "bickering" is funny and right on the money! However, their affection and protective nature for each other is ever present and is also a fundamental part of their relationship. There are simply not enough good things to say about this great book. I was so disappointed when I finished it and cannot wait until March to read SEX!!

If you read "Improper English" you know the plot of this novel already, except for a few poorly placed gothic subplots.

Joy is a smart aleck American. We never know her job, her age, or anything about her other than she is 6 feet tall and bitchy and self centered. Her sidekick is a sex obsessed virgin named Roxy.

Addicted to vampire novels about the "Dark Ones" they spend two weeks at a Goth fest next door to the castle where the author Christian lives.

Joy gets the hots for English stud Raphael, nicknamed "Bob". Oh, we are teased that "Bob" is a vamp but he isn't. And a brain dead, retarded and blind goat knows his big bad "secret" by the third page you see him. It's moronic.

No plot develops until about 250 pages in when a girl at the fair is murdered. Oh, for about .00025 seconds we're made to think it COULD be "Bob" but we know it isn't. Oh, and that aforementioned goat can tell you who did do it.

The romance between Joy and "Bob" has me cringing. She just embarrassed herself every time they met and for some stupid reason he is head over heels in love with Joy, who is little more than a complete moron with tons of TSTL (too stupid to live) moments.

So, is there a vampire in all this? Christian, who stalks the bitchy Joy believing she is the one woman who can free his soul, even as she knees him in the balls. We never are told what he looks like, shown that he has a decent IQ or anything worthy of notice.

And he's the hero of book 2! Not that you would know this, the back covers tell you sh*t about the stories, so I am so embarrassed that I bought the second one at the same time. I really don't think I'll read it.

It's overdone, no plot, little romance, passable sex, and every so often there is humor, but I'd recommend this only to brain dead, retarded and blind goats.

In the beginning, I wasn't thrilled with this story. It seemed that the author was just copying Christine Feehan's Dark Series, but in a "tongue in cheek" sort of way. I am a huge fan of Feehan's Dark Series, and I resented this authors efforts to capitalize on her success by taking her characters and themes and trying to make them into something humorous. I mean c'mon, just changing Carpathians to Moravians does not make it original.
Thankfully, as the story progressed, she took it in a bit of a different direction, although there were still way too many "unoriginal" ideas to suit me.
There were also way too many unanswered questions at the end of the book. I'm giving it 3 stars because it did turn out to be a cute story w/ a lot of humor (even if Joy was a bit obnoxious at times), in the hopes that there will be a sequel that will explain the significance of the tattoo, what Raphael/Bob meant by sort of a "liaison", what the personal history Bob was referring to w/ Christian was about, and most importantly, what happens to poor Christian now that Joy has abandoned him.
The storyline between Christian and Joy is my biggest objection to this story. I really feel like it trivializes Feehan's lifemates theme. The authors acknowledgment to Feehan at the beginning of the book for taking her "vampire virginity" does little to justify the blatant plundering of her ideas.

This was a very interesting and fun book. If you are a fan of Christine Feehan you find this book sort of follows some of her character definition (Dark Ones and Moravian origins), but she has a great style that wraps a lot of humor into the story. The basic line is that the main character, Joy and her friend Roxy head to the Czech Republic on a vacation to find their soul mates and do a little vampire meeting. They attend the annual Goth fair and meet some very weird people. One of the people running the fair take an instant dislike to Joy and eventually Joy gets accused of murdering her. Joy falls in love with the guy in charge of the security force for the fair and some very pulse-racing love scenes take place. Joy and Roxy find their vampire who thinks Joy is his "beloved" and wants her to stay with him for all eternity. There is a lot of strange stuff going on throughout the book that really keeps your attention. Mystery, sex, a handsome vampire--what else could you want in a book?! This is the first of Katie's books that I've read and found myself scanning on line for more of them. Enjoyable read.

this author really is good at creating brainless, stupid women. Yeah, there's some funny chatter once in a blue moon, but for the most part you just want to wring the heroine's neck.

I guess pairing dumb broads with overly wrought, tormented guys that are just thrilled by these dramaitcs creates some balance. You're relieved that two stupid people are off the meat market and not inflicting themselves on someone who's actually with it.

Overall, a big disappointment. I guess as a working class girl I had a hard time dealing with such bimbos. Joy is a brainless twit, I felt like I was dealing with a self-absorbed Paris Hilton type. Ick!

Can't believe this series gets good reviews. Katie really dropped the ball with this group of characters.

I am sorry....but this book was so annoying. Actually, the author should be sorry....really sorry for writing this mess. I really love this author too but I can not "fake it". I did not care one iota about Joy, who by the way was not interesting or amusing. Just not worth my vision time to read about. The only character that I did like was Christian, he was interesting and sounds very sexy. As for Roxy I am surprised that Joy didn't ring her next on about 5 different occations. She pushed me over my tolerance level. I couldn't take it any more...I just skimmed to the ending with relief.

I've read some of the reviews already posted, and wanted to set the record straight on a few things.

Firstly, I've read some people complaining that the vampires in the book are very similar to Christine Feehan's Carpathians - if they'd bothered to read the acknowledgements at the front they would know that Katie is friends with Christine Feehan, and even says she first encountered vampire romances through Feehan's books, so you should expect some similarities to crop up.

When I read the book I didn't think Katie's vampires were too similar to Feehan's - for a start Katie's vampires had a step-by-step method of 'binding' themselves to their other half, whereas Feehan's vampires are portrayed as being driven by instinct to do what they do (as illustrated by the fact that Darius in Dark Fire performs their traditional binding, without being taught how it happens).

Also, the very way Katie MacAlister's story plays out is very different from Christine Feehan's, so if your only complaint is that the vampires are 'similar' then it shouldn't effect your reading and enjoyment of the book.

The story itself may seem a bit hokie (sceptic librarian journeys to the Czech Republic, suddenly starts believing in vampires and gets caught up in a murder investigation) but the characterisation of Joy fits the story so well you can see someone like her actually doing what she does! Or at least, I could.

There is actually very little about the 'dark' vampires, but what little there is offsets the budding chemistry between Joy and Raphael so cleverly, that for once I found myself routing for the humans - and my faith in finding a delicious human man fully restored!

Katie MacAlister was recommended to me after reading Kerrelyn Sparks, and I have to say they were right! The two have a similar writing style that I love. Sarcasm, humor and romance are a killer combination for a good book. I can't wait to read the next book in the series.

Tihs book was really funny, but the main character spent so much time beating around the brush with "Is he or isn't he a vampire ? Hmm, I dunno rather than *ask* him I'm going to just rant on about my friends lifes,
and think about the series of romance books books he reminds me of.. ." moments that lasted nearly whole
chapters that I never did finish it :P.
Good if you want something that tries to make jokes about other vampire romance novels, bad if you want this book to be a good romance novel *in of itself*.
I'm sorry, but if I saw a guy that good looking I would spend my time *getting to know him* and other things, not thinking about romance novels..

I've read several MacAlister books over the last 6 months and not all of them had Moravians, but they did all leave me wanting another in that particular series. Comparisons to Feehan and Davidson (shudder) be damned. While I can see the similarities others are so quick to point out to Feehan, I can see none to Davidson. I've read the "Undead" series (loaned to me, thank goodness) and my only wish is that Elizabeth had stayed dead. Talk about insipid...how can one person whine so much? But I digress. I don't think MacAlister is shooting for dark, brooding Moravians with no sense of humor (see:Carpathians) but men who can laugh at themselves. I wish I could give this more stars!

This book had an incredibly slow start. I almost gave up on finishing it. It was not good. The book started to get better and pick up speed half way though (which is quite late in the game in my opinion). The overall story was interesting, but relatively predictable. Some of the writing was just bad and cheesy.

I just finished reading the first 14 stories in the Carpathian series by Feehan - I fell over backwards when I started this series immediatly afterwards and found several references to the Caprapthian series!!

These books are funny! They are sexy! They each have a different plot line and make good use of former books characters!! Which seems to be missing in alot of the paranormal romances that are supposedly written to be in the form of a series.

These books compair favorably to Harris' "Dead as..." series and Davidson's "Undead and..." series!! I'm looking forward to reading more from this author

This is the very first Katie MacAlister book I read, and I am a bona fide addict. You want proof? I cleaned out the local book stores of her works, and have been laughing non-stop ever since. The only reason I have time to do this review now is that I'm all out of her books, so before I got back and reread them, I have to tell everyone how freaking great they are.

It was awesome because not only was the heroine funny and likeable, but the hero had me laughing too. And their uber-steamy love scenes were not only uh, uber-steamy, but they were so much more than the "Tab A goes into Slot B" that we're used to because they were humorous too. I love that she depicts characters having fun when things are heating up, because so many authors focus on the "deep connections" that the bedroom is the only place where said connections occur. Then they're trying to figure out why they characters are even together when they're not having sex. Katie is so the contrary, and I LOVE THAT!!!

Read the book!!!

I just finished reading the first 14 stories in the Carpathian series by Feehan - I fell over backwards when I started this series immediatly afterwards and found several references to the Caprapthian series!!

These books are funny! They are sexy! They each have a different plot line and make good use of former books characters!! Which seems to be missing in alot of the paranormal romances that are supposedly written to be in the form of a series.

These books compair favorably to Harris' "Dead as..." series and Davidson's "Undead and..." series!! I'm looking forward to reading more from this author

This is the very first Katie MacAlister book I read, and I am a bona fide addict. You want proof? I cleaned out the local book stores of her works, and have been laughing non-stop ever since. The only reason I have time to do this review now is that I'm all out of her books, so before I got back and reread them, I have to tell everyone how freaking great they are.

It was awesome because not only was the heroine funny and likeable, but the hero had me laughing too. And their uber-steamy love scenes were not only uh, uber-steamy, but they were so much more than the "Tab A goes into Slot B" that we're used to because they were humorous too. I love that she depicts characters having fun when things are heating up, because so many authors focus on the "deep connections" that the bedroom is the only place where said connections occur. Then they're trying to figure out why they characters are even together when they're not having sex. Katie is so the contrary, and I LOVE THAT!!!

Read the book!!!

This book is a different, funny, kind of vampire story. There was many time when I just laugh out loud. The heroine is silly but lately I have heard that the 30ty are the 20ty so that make the 20ty the teen. The heroine acts like a teenager/20-something. Being a 20-something I can tell you that sometime I don't feel like an adult or a child. So I liked Joy I could relate to her.
This book is not the usual vampire novel. It's a fun read. Of course there are some dark scenes. What vampire's story wouldn't be complete without them? I really can't tell you more about it without ruinning the story. I hate it when people do that. If you like knowing more just read of the other reviews.
Pippin

I read sex and the single vampire before this one. That book is better, so this one gets 4 stars :)

Thoroughly enjoyed this book though. Joy is awesome as a heroine, and I so much better understand her relationship with Christian from sex and the single vampire.

If you are looking for a funny, nailbiting at times, sexy story, then go for this one. And after reading this one, read Sex and the single vampire :)

Katie MacAlister's name pops up in discussion of all the vampire fiction books as another author in the genre. If you buy anything by Nancy Collins, Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, or Kim Harrison, the store is going to recommend her to you. Be warned, however, that you're not getting pure fantasy or gritty cross-genre stuff here. This is mostly fluff. "A Girl's Guide to Vampires" is a pretty straightforward bodice-ripper with vampires thrown in to spice it up.

If you're a woman in the neigborhood of 40 who bought Tiger Beat to drool over Leif Garrett or Shaun Cassidy, you'll probably eat this book up. If you're looking for something a little meatier, or if you're possessed of a Y-chromosome, stick to the other authors in the genre. Truth be told, even in the paranormal romance genre, MacAlister is overshadowed by MaryJanice Davidson, whose Betsy Taylor books are wittier and funnier. This was an enjoyable enough diversion for an afternoon, but I won't be going on to buy the rest of the series.

This was a fun, entertaining and quick read. A girls guide to dating vampires is about two best friends who go on a trip to find a famous vampire novelist and hopefully a vampire of their own. While on their adventure they fall in love, meet vampires and have to solve a murder. Joy is forced to decide between a vampire and a mortal. While her best friend Roxy keeps watch on her back and tries to keep them out of trouble. This is fantastically entertaining and read

Wow. My wife is hooked on the "traditional" romance style books (Nora Roberts, Fern Michels etc). Meanwhile, we both got into Laurel K. Hamilton a couple of years ago and discovered we mutually enjoyed the paranormal aspect. Rather than continue to buy Nora "gag me" Roberts, I searched for more along the paranormal line and came across Lyndsey Sands, Katie MacAlister, Kelley Armstrong and others. This being my first foray into Katie MacAlister's humor, I was in stiches. The "fake" vampires and the homage to Feehan (even though I've never read her I've read enough reviews to know a homage when I see one). I had to put the book down everytime Joy mentioned her "cheerleaders." It was a nice, quick and entertaining read for those interested in the paranormal side of "romance." I'm getting into "Sex and the Single Vampire" and now I'm eager for "Even Vampires Get the Blues."

Actually a pretty good book. It gently mocks and salutes the Freehan vampire series and still is pretty interesting on its own. It will take a while to hook you, I almost gave up after the first chapter - hang in there! The best friend is annoying and the writing is in the chick lit style (breezy, first person).

This series is very clearly a parody of Christine Feehan's Dark series, and a darned good parody it is. In order to fully appreciate it, you really do have to read at least one of Feehan's Dark series books. The poor hapless males in Macalister's series just don't stand a chance! In this first novel, a vampire seeks his "Beloved"...but is she really? Note that Christian is an author of books about vampires, and that his initials begin with "C.F."....

Thankfully I checked this book out of the library. Since I hadn't been impressed by "Noble Intentions", I didn't want to take a chance buying this one. I can read about anything, but this was such drivel I just skimmed over the book. From what I read, the writing was poor, the characters annoying, and the "love scenes" insipid. I won't waste my time with another book by this author.

WARNING: This publication is addictive and may cause intense giggles, gasps, sighs and shudders. May also cause a loss of sleep, as the reader will be unable to put it down.
I was impressed with the storylines, the characters, the setting - what's not to love about this book?! The heroine, Joy, is not a petite little wisp who needs saving - she's a strong woman with a mind and will of her own. Such a rare quality!
I'm recommending this book to all my friends, and I'm recommending it to YOU!

I just became interested in vampire litereature, though I have been into all things vampire for a while. This is one of the first books I read, following Anne Rice's Vampire Lestat, so it is not a big wonder it failed my expectations. First of all, it has nothing to do with the back cover, so I wouldn't purchase it according to that. Also, some of the jokes are not funny at all, and the heroine, Joy, is not likeable in any way, or so I thought. She's too stubborn, and talks when she's not supposed to, and that is not likeable. I didn't grow to love her. The concept of vampires are examined under a different light, bringing the concept of their 'Beloved', which is original. But over all, I wouldn't waste my money on it when there are much better ones around.

"SPOILERS"

I was incredibly disappointed with this book! The back cover gives the impression of a funny romance between a girl and a vampire. A girl's guide to vampires it is not. The main heroine had no character development throughout the book and frankly I thought she was quite shallow, and not like Mary Janice Davidson's Undead series Betsy shallow (where it is amusing) but really shallow. I thought it was going to be a funny vampire book, like Lyndsay Sands vampire series. I honestly didn't even think the writing was that funny, yeah I did laugh at times but there are better books out there. Even the sex wasn't that great ( our lead who, SPOILER is NOT a vampire..couldn't even ever keep going that long). If you looking for sex marathons plus a somewhat there story line check out Christian Feehan, or if you're looking for sex marathons and a pretty good storyline at times try the Anita Blake series.

Frankly the biggest disappointment I got out of this book was the fact that the tortured vampire in it who is looking for the love of his existence to save his soul, isn't even who the lead heroine falls in love with, even though she can feel his emotions/read his mind! The murder mystery and the so called 'danger' that was predicted by the heroine's wiccan friend that she would have to face frankly didn't even add up in my mind.

I'm going to give this author one more chance. She has written several books with vampire in the title so there has got to be one with a vampire actually as the love interest.

I found this book to be wonderful.

The whole series is wonderful.

It's so romantic, but also has action in it.

Its not JUST a romance book which made it so much better.

This would have to be my favorite book series...

Except the only thing I didn't like... Is how it never said which one was 1, 2 or 3... So I ended up reading book 2, book 3 then book 1.

But I still found it to be excellent.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a romantic, true love, action filled vampire book.

Could not capture my interest. Starts out with Joy and her friends performing some ritual to find their soul mates. Comes off as hokey and rediculous, and not really in a funny way. I couldn't take the dialogue--too much forced comedy.

Ever since I picked this book up several years ago, I've read and re-read it. It's the first Katie Mac book I ever read, stumbling across it in a bookstore. I love it. I love the entire series, and yes, fan girl that I am, I own all her books. She is one of my top three favorite authors ever! I highly recommend her!

Katie Macalister is a brilliant writer with a flair for the funny. This particular book was well written with an interesting plot. She did set up the next book quite nicely. I was just a little disappointed that there were two guys who you were rooting for...one was bound to loose, and although he has his own book, it was still a little disappointing at the way she created a love triangle. Overall, although it isn't my favorite of her books, it is still a great one!

This book is really terrible. The main character is a moron and there are no characters that are even remotely likable. The plot is predictable. There is little to no humor. The back cover has nothing to do with the painfully idiotic plot. I was so disappointed. This is a case of a great title wasted on just a less than mediocre story. Yuck don't bother.

This book was entertaining,and I enjoyed reading it. It is not the best that I have ever read, but it definitely wasn't the worst. The author did a nice job of not being too predictable, and made the story line just a tad bit unusual. It was a good cross between chick lit and vampire/horror. I would recommend it for some light reading, or if you like either genre.

This book is delightful. I was drawn to this title because I am a huge fan of contemporary vampire romance with some comedy thrown in for good measure. The sex scenes are erotic, and the characters are fascinating yet grounded. The heroine, Joy, is a real woman with insecurities about her height, her size, her talents, and her association with her wacky best friend. Kate delivers a book that is a good espcape from day to day life.

I gave this book one star only because there wasn't any zero. Between the bickering and stupid dialoge between the characters you still had to put up with all the Cliché (so many) on each page. If you excluded the sex this book could have been written for a 13 year old. If I could ask for my money back for such a bad book I would but since my friend gave it to me - maybe I should ask for hers back.

I like vampire romances, but could live without this series. The Roxy chick is about as annoying as they get,I would abandon her in a foreign country in a heartbeat. The story drags on and two-thirds through the book I had enough and skimmed to the end. I read the second book in this series first. It was a little better than this one, but once again I skimmed through to the end.

A thirteen year old could have written this book--dialogue was juvenile, humor was flat, and the idea was unimaginative. I've read hundreds of romances, yet this is the one that always stands out as the worst and cheesiest.

This was my first Katie MacAlister book and now I'm hooked! The characters and plot suck you in...
I want a Bob too!
Get this book...especially if you are a Laurell K. Hamilton fan...similiar feel...if you know what I mean.

This was a fun, entertaining and quick read. A girls guide to dating vampires is about two best friends who go on a trip to find a famous vampire novelist and hopefully a vampire of their own. While on their adventure they fall in love, meet vampires and have to solve a murder. Joy is forced to decide between a vampire and a mortal. While her best friend Roxy keeps watch on her back and tries to keep them out of trouble. This is fantastically entertaining and read