Every Woman's Dream - Every Man's Purpose

Take this book and your Bible and prepare to grow up. Stop listening to a pornheaded society that wants your money at the price of your self esteem and pick out this book and your Bible and become a man!

Maleness. Purpose. Leadership. Why we need men now more than ever....real men. Anyone who reads this, male or female will be changed forever. The real insight into what is needed in our society and how far we have fallen. Not hard, just takes courage to step up and do what a man should od. Wow. D

I read this book because my girl friend suggested it. I loved the title since I've always pondered the paradox of Christian soldiers combined with the love of Jesus. Weber did a wonderful job of explaining the blueprint for a Godly father and husband. Unfortunately I didn't discover this book earlier in life. Hopefully it's not too late to utilize the wisdom I gleaned from it.

In an era where divorce and living together are more the norm than getting married,
this book reaches out to men who want to know "what is a man?"
It also has many golden gems such as "a grain in your shoe will slow you down more than
the mountain you are trying to climb."
And I also like the chapter on how to speak woman.
Good work Stu!

Tender Warrior is another great read by Stu Weber. (OK, transparency here…I really like Stu Weber). This book, like many of his works speaks of the warrior ethos…the man code…the need for men to take their rightful and created roles seriously as the leaders of their homes, communities, and churches. Weber shares wisdom here…using imagery and stories that connect with men.
For too long, the culture has defined “church” or “faith issues” in a more feminine manner than God intended. I have always believed that Jesus was a “man’s man” since some of the toughest dudes around enjoyed his company. Offering a clarion call to the return of biblical masculinity, Weber offers encouragement and insight for the man who desires to live according to his warrior design.
As a pastor, I am always in search of new and creative ways to communicate with men. Believing that no church, no community, and no culture evolves or changes without leadership…I have placed my trust in those designed by God to lead. This was a good and encouraging read and one that I would recommend.
Thank you Stu Weber! An asset to my library.
You can purchase a copy from the store HERE.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review as part of their blogger’s book review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <[...]> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

In 1990 Jungian psychologist Robert Moore and co-author Douglas Gillette wrote King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine.

Moore and Gillette referred to four blueprints, in Stu Weber's Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope he calls them fingerprints.

All the authors argue that in order to become a complete man, a man must be intentional in his efforts to develop in all four areas of his life.

Weber's blueprints are:

- King
- Warrior
- Mentor
- Friend

Like Moore and Gillette, Weber believes that men of all ages struggle with similar circumstances faced by other men who are husbands and fathers, married and single men of all ages and backgrounds.

To illustrate and explain these pillars, Weber uses a variety of examples from his personal experience in life, in relationships, in the ministry, and in the military especially from his days serving in Vietnam.

Here-in lay one of the weaknesses of the book. This fresh new copy of Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope is a reprint of material originally published in 1993 and 1999. Thus most of the illustrations and the referenced materials are twenty years old.

While true and accurate, some of the twenty year old illustrations do have a dated feel to them. That may not bother fifty year olds, but younger men seeking to become a Tender Warrior may have a harder time seeing the relevance of the illustrations.

That said, each chapter has some meaningful information and most importantly, it's followed by a relevant discussion guide useful for personal, mentorship or small group use.

Weber covers these eleven areas of manhood:
A Man Faces Himself
A Man and His Pro-Vision
A Man and His Roots
A Man's Greatest Strength
A Man's Tender Side
A Man and His Leadership
A Man and His Lady, Parts 1, 2 & 3
A Man and His Children, Parts 1, 2 & 3
A Man and His Friends, Parts 1 & 2
A Man and His Course, Parts 1 & 2
A Man and His Lord

I found Weber's challenge to be a Finisher to be most relevant to me as a man in my forties.
Finishers need vision - A focused pursuit.
Finishers need single-mindedness - An undivided heart.
Finishers need determination - A driving intensity.
Finishers need faith - A biblical optimism.

In conclusion, Tender Warrior is a book I will use as I guide my son and the young men I mentor. I recommend this book to fathers and sons, and small groups of men, young and not so young. It would also provide a useful starting point for a men's accountability group.

Tender Warrior is about striving to become the king, warrior, mentor, and friend to our wife and children. Men can sometimes get so caught up in trying to work so hard to provide for their families. They don't spend enough time in building and maintaining the role their family needs them to fulfill. A man must have a vision for the future of their family. It's important to share our dreams with our wife and we need to listen to her dreams. Weber believed in keeping his word and promises and passing that character trait down to future generations.

He also shared the story about Job and how he stayed with God even when he lost all of his children, animals, and servants. He kept serving God despite the problems, pains, and struggles that he had to endure. Today, when men encounter difficulties most are running instead of practicing endurance. The book discussed the statics of fatherless homes and the rise in divorced rates. He included an analogy of how our children are like arrows and we must teach them how to survive and how to provide for themselves and their families.

Stu Weber asked men to examine the answers to these questions: (Page 31-32).

"If our marriage were to go on just the way it's been going, what will it be like for us in five, ten, twenty years?

"How can I build the self-esteem of my wife, who spends enormous amounts of time cleaning house and changing diapers?"

"When will my little boy and I need to have our first talk about sex?"

I only shared some of the important questions we need to ponder. The book contained much more discussion questions to dive into.

I would recommend this book to men who have the courage to stay in the race with their family. Staying, protecting, leading, and providing are critical roles, we must practice to raise our children the precise way. The book is a magnificent written book that appeals to the hearts of men. It has a lot of stories that will give men the strength to know that they aren't alone. I learned that I must step up my game in order to be the husband and father I was created to be. I also have seen the importance of leaning on other men in our journey together to fathering our children. I tend to be more of the lone ranger and I am realizing that I must continue to work to change that. I am going to start to pray for a Jonathan to come into my life. I enjoyed the discussion questions and how they were displayed. At the end of each chapter, readers got the chance to answer some by himself and some with his friends. I don't have any children right now but in the future this book will be a great book to reread to remind me of the magnitude of passing down high-quality character traits. I learned so much about learning to be a man who is able to stand and lead his children correctly. Even when I fail, all that matters is that I try again and learn from my mistakes! If you're looking for a book that will assist in your parenting then read this awesome life changing book! Fellow, Tender Warriors arise!

"I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review".

[Review by Homeschool Dad's wife]I was initially struck by the full title of Stu Weber's book. Isn't it presumptuous to assume knowledge of every man's purpose, every woman's dream and every child's hope? The title lays out a pretty tall order for men. While not a man myself, I do have three boys in various stages toward manhood and I was very curious to understand what Mr. Weber meant by a "tender warrior."

I had not previously read anything by Stu Weber and I have to say that I really liked his style of writing--he wrote persuasively and with conviction without coming across in a condescending or critical way. After reading the book, I have to agree that the portrait of the man described in the pages of Tender Warrior would be every woman's dream and certainly every child's hope. Who wouldn't want a man (as either father or husband) of strength, caring, loyalty, conviction, persistence, determination, completely loving and serving his family.

Weber has some military experience in his background which lends many illustrations throughout the book (from his own service as well as grandparents'). I think those analogies will resonate with men. But unlike the rough side mostly envisioned in the military, he gave some tender examples as well of those in leadership exerting a manly sense of concern for those under them. Not surprisingly, Weber also incorporated Biblical examples of warriors--many heroes of the faith (David, Jonathan, Caleb to name a few)who had military experience of their own.

What I really liked was that the book was not a rationalization for the foolhardiness of today's male--the wild and crazy "man-child" who can't seem to grow up. Weber draws the reader's attention all the way back to Genesis when God chose to create man first. That decisive action put man squarely in the seat of responsibility. Although Eve was tempted first, the man was held responsible. The Bible refers over and over to sin being introduced through Adam. There is no place in manhood for the blame game, God expects a man to take seriously his role to lead his family. Weber gives men a charge that the responsibility for one's family is on his shoulders--not his wife's. When a man fulfills his calling, he will undoubtedly find that his wife is more than willing to follow his lead.

This is definitely a book I want my sons to read and put into practice. I highly recommend this book to fathers and sons. It would make a great study to do for a men's accountability group. Each chapter has questions to help men process what they have read along with specific action points for implementing what they have learned.

The dictionary defines tender as kind, merciful, or sympathetic. The word warrior is defined as a person who shows or has shown great vigor and courage. Putting these two together and you come up with a tender warrior. A man who is courageous and brave, yet kind and merciful. Can such a man be found? Certainly!

The book, Tender Warrior by Stu Weber, details what such a man might look like. In our culture today, it is easy for men to either play the role of the `tough guy' - controlling those around him through fear and intimidation. There is also the `sensitive guy' who is happy to sit back and just let a woman take control of him and everything else. Stu Weber describes a man who is somewhere in between. Someone who is strong enough to step up and lead, even when it is hard; but also who is tender enough to hear the heart of his wife and catch the tears of his children.

The whole basis of the tender warrior concept is that men need to rely on their example of a tender warrior - Jesus Christ. He was a tender warrior in every way, in moments such as when his friend Lazarus died, we see moments of tenderness. In the moments such as when he cleared the temple, we see his warrior side. Men must rely on the strength and example of Christ, in order to become the man that their wives, children and friends want them to be.

This book is a fantastic read; I highly recommend it for any man who is willing to read it and any woman who wants to understand her husband more. The book describes how a man can be a tender warrior with his wife, friends, family and situations in his life.

5 stars
[...]

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from Waterbrook Publishing Company in exchange for my honest review

Tender Warrior - Stu Webber

I am not sure why this book ended up in my possible selections books from Multnomah, but I am very glad it did. The last copyright I can find in it is 1999, thus not what I expected when I cracked the cover for the first time. That is the only disappointment within its pages.

In the sporting world, most of us have heard of the "it" of leadership. Regardless of how people may feel about Tim Tebow, just about everyone that meets him says he has "it," in spades. It oozes out of every pore of his body, and while I have never met Mr. Webber, I would say he has "it" as well. From the opening pages to the final chapter, leadership shines forth.

Tender Warrior is a clarion call to all men to step up, stay in, and be a man. Not is some false macho fashion, but in a well rounded, take up your cross and follow Jesus way. Webber explains how each of his four pillars of manhood - King, Warrior, Mentor and Friend, tie together to make a man that is resembles our Lord Jesus. I could not agree more.

Webber mixes a very clear call with grace and conviction rarely found in gender focused books. While there are explanations given for some of the male tendencies, there are never excuses, and that is excellent. From cover to cover, men are called to be real men, and Webber does a truly outstanding job in this book.

Perhaps the best tag line is the one under the heading: Every man's purpose, every woman's dream, and every child's hope. It simply cannot be said any better than that when considering the role of a man.

I highly recommend this book!

Dr. Jeff Klick
[...]

'Tender Warrior 'is a book that I would recommend to any husband or father. A Vietnam veteran, Weber has the background to talk about manhood. Manhood is something that has been slowly lost in our culture and this book gives men a vision and goal to pursue. We are all created for a purpose, and Weber delves into that purpose in this book. Every man is to be a leader, provider, protector, friend, and a lover, among other things. Weber calls men back to fatherhood and loving their wives. He gives advice to husbands on how to speak the language of women (which is very useful to know). One important point that Weber brought up was friendship. Men tend to isolate themselves from deep friendships. That is wrong thinking and a real man is not the stereotypical lone ranger. None of us can do life on our own. We need God, and we need friends around us. If you don't have a friend that you share your life with, find one. Strive for a close-knit friendship like that of David and Jonathan in the Bible. Follow God together. Also, I like how Weber points out the ultimate model for manhood: Jesus. Jesus is not a wimp. He has his tender side, but He is also a strong warrior when need be (such as when He overturned the tables of the money changers in the Temple). Jesus is the perfect example of a tender warrior. His life is an example for all of us to follow.

To sum up, this book is best for husbands and fathers, but other men can read it as well. It is a great book to prepare you for life, and a great aid in learning how to become a real man.

Thought provoking discussion questions and challenges are included at the end of each chapter.

I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers in exchange for a fair and honest review.

This is an excellent and inspiring book for all men who want to be what God has called them to be. I think most men know that we're not living up to all that we could or should be, but so many of us don't know what to do about it. We're not being "real men." So many of us didn't have good role models in our own fathers, and this book can help fill in the gaps. For example, I use this book when working with young men whose wives or (more often) girlfriends are pregnant at the Crisis Pregnancy Center where my wife and I volunteer.

Now, for those of you who may be thinking "Oh no, not another 'get naked and beat tribal drums' book," Weber discusses several of the "drum beating" types of books, fairly discussing their positive points but concluding that they fall way short of where they need to in their search for authentic manhood. To find what men are made to be, you have to go back to the Author himself: past one man's personal insights into himself, past ancient tribal customs, past the "old stories": to the original Author Himself. This is a very Biblically-based book, and Weber makes no apologies for that.

Weber divides manhood into four divisions, which he calls King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend. This general theme is discussed in some other books on manhood (as Weber admits) but not as Biblically as Weber does it. For example, another book calls them "blueprints" of a man: Weber says he prefers to think of them as "fingerprints" of the man's Creator.

But Weber doesn't hang his entire book on these four (rather arbitrary) divisions. Weber then finds a common thread throughout all of them: Initiative. I think this idea of Initiative being the core of manhood was one of the most insightful single contributions Weber makes. To quote: "Just as a compass without a needle is not a compass, a man without Initiative is not a man." Perfect.

He also very clearly shows how Initiative is not equal to being Bossy. Taking Initiative means taking initiative in helping out around the house, in saying you're sorry, in asking your wife's help, in asking "what do my wife and kids need right now that I can help with?" It's about as far from bossy or (in the tiresome language of critics) "50's Ozzie and Harriet" as you can get.

Most of the rest of the book is spent working out how the four divisions of manhood and the central thread of Initiative applies to various situations and people in a man's life. The chapter "Does Anyone Here Speak 'Woman'?" is worth the price of the book.

I only have two very tiny negative comments about the book. First, the war-time metaphors and examples from Weber's own life as an Army Ranger won't appeal to everybody. For myself, I enjoyed reading them and they helped, but found it difficult to relate in a few cases because I my background isn't the same. One can't fault Weber that much, though: he simply wrote as who he is.

Second, I think this book would be best with an older, more mature man alongside a younger one. (I am working with two younger men right now.) It might not impact a young man as strongly if given to him if he is not able to have an older (or at least same maturity level) man come alongside him. The obvious solution: be that older man. Don't just give it to your kids: work through it with them, and encourage them to work with their friends.

I also bought the audio version of this book. I have two negative comments about the audio version. First, it's only available on cassette. I wanted to give somebody a copy of it, but he can only play CDs, so I had to buy it on cassette, rip it, and burn to CD. (Yes, I did this all legally.) That was a drag, and the resulting quality is rather low. Second, the audio version is not only shorter, but actually combines two chapters from the book (9 and 10). This makes it hard to track against the book. However, it is still a positive for those who are auditory learners and have more time to listen than to read. As most men probably fall into this category, I hope the publisher will consider bringing the audio version out on CD.

In summary: get this book, read it, highlight it, re-read it, work through it with your friends. And watch God turn you into the man you know you were created to be.

This book is a wonderful guidebook for men with the aim of becoming all they can be through real life stories and scripture. Author Stu Weber divides manhood into four divisions: King, Warrior, Mentor, Friend. Within that, he shows how it is important for men to be (as the title implies) both sensitive and strong.

This is definitely a book for men, and I hope I can get my husband to read it some day. I love that a book like this exists, and I think it is one all men should read. I especially think it would make a great gift for young, college-age men to read to give them a positive start in all their relationships as they embark on life.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group book review bloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Tender Warrior should be on the shelf of every father and/or husband. This book is like a mirror for each man to examine and challenge himself in their role as provider, warrior, teacher, and friend to those within and outside of the home. Stu Weber writes in a way that relates to all men who want to be a real man to their wife and children. Each chapter is very relevant to every man, whether newly married, a new father, or someone with a few years already under their belt. At the end of each chapter, there are questions that are good for self-evaluation or could even be used in a study group discussion. If any individual or group is wanting to do a biblical study of the definition, characteristics, and examples of a man, then I recommend reading this book

Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope by Stu Weber is a textbook on how to be a strong, Christian leader in today's world. Okay, so maybe not exactly a textbook, but it's purty good. There are a great many books out there teaching us exactly what it means to be a man of God. Many are solid, and many of them tend to cover a lot of the same information - which I'm not knocking; it just means a lot of individuals are tapping into the same resources.

Weber's representation of a Christian man as a "tender warrior", though not earthshatteringly different, is refreshing. He makes the distinction that "tender warrior" does not equal "soft male." Tender does not mean "effeminate or easily yielding" (that's soft according to Webster). Rather it means to be "compassionate, kind, or affectionate." As the Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf once said when asked if he was afraid to cry, "No....I'm afraid of a man who won't cry." Thus, I feel totally justified in going to see chick flicks and bawling all the way through! Or something like that...maybe I missed Stormin's point.

Weber presents what he calls the four pillared man. As opposed to "blueprints", Weber calls these four pillars the "fingerprints...of the Artist" or the "four rythms in a man." These are:

- King

- Warrior

- Mentor

- Friend

To back up these pillars, Weber uses a host of examples from personal experience in the ministry, but also from his days serving in Vietnam. Speaking to the warrior in every man's heart, he gives example of men in his life that filled these pillar positions - though not necessarily doing so from the position of a "Christian authority." I think this adds to the fact that these pillars - at least in concept - are ingrained in us and evidence of God's hand upon us.

In the end, Weber calls us to, as Joe Stowell so aptly put it, "go beyond just being a male and discover what it meant to be a `man.'" The journey of a man is one of searching for purpose and initiation. And it's really nice to have a few "tender warriors" mentor us along the way to show us what's what. I really enjoyed Weber's perspective and point-driving illustrations. He also appears that he designed this for a small group setting. There are questions to discuss at the end of each chapter, and I think it would be ideal for a men's group, absolutely ideal.

As stated in the title, we have an opportunity to be "Every Woman's Dream" and "Every Child's Hope." While I'd be more interested in being "One Woman's Dream" at this point, I accept the premise. God's desire for me is not to wander aimlessly through my purpose, marriage (futuristicly speaking), and fatherhood (also futuristicly). Rather, it is to fulfill the purpose, dreams, and hopes that I was designed for. This book is a tool that can help me fulfill those roles. I'd like to be a four pillar man, and you can be too! (Hypothetically speaking.)

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. There is no requirement for me to give a positive review; it is just a good book.

If you are not familiar with the author first book, "Four Pillars of a Man's Heart", do not worry it is brought up a few times in the Tender Warrior. The author's first book focused four pillars in a man's life King, Warrior, Mentor and Friend. I read both but I have to admit that the "Tender Warrior" from a Christian man's point of view carried a greater weight then his first book. The author went into detail within a man's world looking at the whole picture. The first part of the book drills down into a man's life the perceptions, misconceptions and vision. From this part of the book, it goes into the typical masculine strengths followed by our weaker points to balance things out. The best part of the book was the two chapters dedicated to the man in fathering his children and the two chapters about a man's wife. As you progress through the book, the author explores the area of a man's friend, meaning of a true friend, not just someone to have a few drinks with but one that will be there when you need him the most. The last chapter goes into the relationship of a man to his church, Jesus and God. If you only have, time to read only one of Stu Weber's books about men let it be "Tender Warrior".

I received a free copy of this book from WaterBrook Multnomah in exchange for my honest review of the book.

This book can transform your relationships for the better. Mr. Weber writes to men in this book, although women can certainly gain insight and guidance from reading it as well. The author is a straightforward writer who supports his positions with biblical references and his own life experiences.

I got this for my husband because it was assigned reading for a Bible study. He is not an avid reader, but he jumped in with both feet and really enjoyed it. He did feel that he should take the time to go through it again, that his study meetings just scratched the surface. High praise from someone who usually reads only car magazines!

NOW IT SHOULD, JUDGING BY THE STATISTICS AND THE MORNING PAPER, BE FAIRLY OBVIOUS THAT MORALE IN SOCIETY IS LOW. NO NEWS FLASH THERE, SO THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL, NOT A SHOCK TO ANYONE. THERE MUST BE A VOICE TO SPEAK ABOUT WHAT WE AS MEN NEED TO BE DOING BETTER SO THAT OUR WOMAN AND CHILDREN CAN LIVE IN A SOMEWHAT FUNCTIONAL SOCIETY. IT BREAKS MY HEART OVER AND AGAIN TO SEE LITTLE BOYS LEFT WITHOUT A FATHER BECAUSE THE FATHER IS BORED WITH HIS PRESENT SITUATION. OR TO SEE A LITTLE LATCHKEY GIRL SIT AND DREAM ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO COME HOME TO A DAD THAT LOVED HER. NOT ONLY LOVED HER BUT TRIES TO UNDERSTAND HER AND HER EMOTIONS. MEN DID YOU KNOW THAT WOMAN ARE EMOTIONAL? BUY TELLING THEM THEY NEED TO STOP ACTING THAT WAY AND FLAT OUT IGNORING THEM WE ARE NOT BEING THE MEN GOD HAS PREDESTINED US TO BE BUT ARE NEGLECTING A GIFT. MOST OF ALL WE ARE HURTING OUR WORLD. WE HAVE ALL MADE MISTAKES AS MEN AND THERE IS NOTHING MORE BOLD THAN ADMITING THAT YOU HAVE FAILED. THIS BOOK IS A GREAT REMINDER TO GO BACK TO BASICS, THE BIBLE AND BEGIN AT THE BEGINNING. OUR WORLD IS WAITING FOR US.

This book has tremendous insight into how a man should lead his family. Weber's illustration from life tie in very well with the priciples of the Bible. As soon as I finished the book I loaned it to my brother and I'm buying another for a cousin. Outstanding book.

This book should be mandatory reading to every Christian male. It should be given to every young man so that he starts off his walk right. One of the best books I've ever read. Ever since I first read this book, I've given and continue to give copies to every one who I think might read it. If you can, also try to order his other books. I especially like Spirit Warriors. Do yourself, your family, and your community a favor and order Stu Weber's books.

I have never really understood the need some people have for focusing on and gaining a deeper understanding of gender issues. That said, of all the books I have encountered on the subject, Stu Weber's "Tender Warrior" is filled with the least pop-psychology claptrap. Instead, he presents a solid, lucid portrait of Biblical manhood. The anecdotes Weber relates are some of the main attractions here--they are very humorous and insightful. If this book is your kind of thing, then I recommend it heartily to you.