A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby

If you only buy one parenting book, buy this one. Thorough, excellent, thoughtful and well written. We live by these principles and have a very happy, calm, self contained, great sleeping almost 2 year old. Love Dr. Sears!

The first couple chapters describe attachment parenting as a creepy cult with weird buzz words that will let you have some sort of Vulcan mind meld with your child. It's a bit repetitive from there but has some good info. If you took a developmental psych class in the past 20 years then you've heard all the research before. It does act as a good resource of short quips to give your in-laws when they tell you that they "just propped the baby up with a bottle" and don't understand what you're doing.

This book had some interesting theories but it wasn't backed up with research, studies, citations, anything. It was basically just the doctor saying well I'm a doctor and I have 6 kids and my wife attachment parented them and this is what worked for us. That isn't research, it's just anecdotal evidence. I thought it was rather irresponsible for the author to put M.D. after his name and act like this was some sort of medical book when it isn't. I believe in nursing, babywearing and keeping my baby close and we slept with one of our children in bed with us but the other loves the crib. So I think it really depends on the parents and the baby. And I am all for attachment parenting but I was reading this book to find out the science behind why it is beneficial and good and I didn't get anything but the author's own experience and opinions. In some places I felt he tried to shame or guilt trip parents who couldn't or didn't want to attachment parent exactly his way and I felt that was wrong considering he had no evidence to back up what he was saying. It's not as if they're committing child abuse by not co-sleeping or by using childcare when they have to work.

At one point he even said something attachment parented kids being less likely to have ADD or other problems but it was his mere conjecture with absolutely no proof. To me that is putting way too much of a conclusion to his own opinions and putting way too much emphasis on attachment parenting for something most likely out of a parents' control. I was like thinking wth after reading this book and it's a shame because in general I practice attachment parenting and I'm in favor of it. But after reading this book I started thinking, well it's great that I wear my baby because it's easier on me and it works for us but really it doesn't seem to do any more for children than NOT wearing them as babies - which I think was the opposite point of what this author intended. Please Dr. Sears back up your claim with research or else it just sounds like we can't take it seriously.

I followed this religiously when my first child was born with no parenting experience to speak of. I now think it wasn’t a balanced enough approach. My child, it turns out, is fairly anxious. Needed a lot of soothing. I nursed, coslept, used baby carriers such that the child was really never alone. And unfortunately never learned to self soothe. Even as a 1 year old and still true as a 7 yo. it became apparent that if anything frightening happened, there is no thought as to how can I try to get out of danger myself. It has been flee to mommy and if mommy is not there, rather than think, how can I do this myself, the thought is how can I entreat someone to come to my aid and figure this out for me. This problem, I think, stemmed from providing soothing when the infant could have self soothed. Earlier than I realized, perhaps at 3 to 6 months, the child must start to learn to self soothe. Also, attachment parenting is based on traditional communal societies in which family members perhaps work in the fields together all day and don’t leave home to go to college. We have to prepare our child to be comfortable with intimacy, closeness, and community which attachment parenting certainly does. My child is very tender, affectionate, compassionate. But we also have to prepare them to be independent. We also have to adapt to the innate temperament of the child. My child runs anxious and actually could have benefited from being in a stroller to learn that it is OK to encounter the world alone. My 2nd child was born very independent, wouldn’t use the baby carrier, preferred the stroller. In that case, the cosleeping helped to balance that child to be more interconnected. I think you have to look at the temperament of the child and see where you, as a parent, need to step in to balance your child out. I suspect very few babies need nursing plus cosleeping plus baby carrier. Personally I think nursing and cosleeping protect again SIDS so those are good to use. I think put them in a stroller, don’t rush to soothe them when they cry to give them a chance to develop their self soothing and form an independent, exploratory self. For some kids if you create the sense of safety they will naturally turn to independent exploration. But if they are innately too anxious to make that transition on their own, then you as a parent have to help them be alone so they can learn that being alone is also fun and they can handle it. One size does not fit all. But if you are an inexperienced parent as I was using the stroller and playpen (plus cosleep and nursing) should provide enough balance that it will meet the needs of most kids. In other words, some time with you and some time alone.

In response to various criticisms of Dr. Sears's books being autocratic and unscientific, it seems to me a little "projecting" is going on. The one main thing Dr. Sears states time and time again in his books is that if at anytime you start to feel resentful of how AP is affecting your personal time or relationship, stop and reevaluate and change things. What he discusses in his books and makes very clear is that this is an IDEAL. To use an unrelated example, the more servings of fruits and vegetables one has the better, with 7-10 servings being ideal. It is unlikely the average American consumes this amount, but would anyone argue that this is beneficial?
I read this book when I was pregnant and was all primed and eager to institute every suggestion to its optimum. As it turned out, my child's personality required nothing less than AP. However, I could not "wear" my baby as much as I would have liked due to back strain. He did sleep in our bed, but that was because it was convenient for me, and I was able to get the best sleep that way. I did not continue to feed him through the night after 6 months, though, because I wanted some sleep, and he didn't really need it nutritionally. Listening to Dr. Sears, I did what felt right and made me feel least resentful, and I weaned him from nightfeedings with the help of my husband (also a Dr. Sears suggestion). I also weaned him to sleep beside our bed, rather than in it, when it became too uncomfortable. None of these things were difficult to do because it was just a natural progression. I think the main point Dr. Sears is trying to get across is get in touch with YOUR child. Pay attention. Trust your instincts, not some experts' generalization. He, of all people I'm sure, would agree that applies to him as well.
As for there not being any scientific facts to prove that the AP approach is a better approach. Just engage your brain. Which would you have rather had as a child: A caring, involved parent or an efficient nanny?

I really liked the content and the concepts in the book, and I respect the personal experience of the authors; however, there's a big gap in the book. In lots of places authors say things similar to 'study/studies show(s)' but there are no references to any studies or publications. These might be coming from authors' own studies or experiences but you cannot just say 'study/studies show(s)' without giving a peer-reviewed reference. Please add references in your new editions. Without them your book is incomplete.

The principles are great though. I applied them to my son for the last two years and I am confident this was/is the right way to raise him. I already bought a few copies for my friends who just became parents. I am sure I'll be buying more copies.

Fantastic book! I would highly recommend this to any parent who wants to create a strong bond with their child. I knew instinctively that some of the advice I'd received from friends didn't feel right ("cry it out," "don't pick him up too much - you'll spoil him," "use a stroller," etc.), but I didn't know how to find out more about what felt right to me. Then I learned that there was a parenting philosophy that promoted the exact things that I was doing instinctively - breastfeeding, babywearing, bedsharing... Thank you Dr. Sears for writing this book. He doesn't tell parents what to do; rather, he offers information and explains WHY these B's are the best things to do for your child, and leaves it up to each parent, as the "expert" about their own baby, to decide what's best for them. To all the other parents out there who know that there is something wrong with trying to "train" your baby, give this book a thorough read. It reinforced so many of the practices that I had adopted and gave me the confidence that I needed to trust my gut and keep it up!

The Baby Bs of Attachment Parenting guided me when I needed reassurances and information about choices my husband and I already made. While this book explains the importance Baby Bs, such as breastfeeding, babywearing and co-sleeping (if you doubt its safety read this book), it also recognizes that not all Bs fit every family. You have to customize the advice to fit your family's needs. (There is actually a page with tips for AP friendly bottlefeeding.)

The Attachment Parenting Book also addresses discipline somewhat, which should NOT be mistaken as the let-your-child-have-everything approach. And the book warns against moms burning out, telling moms to take care of themselves, take breaks, involve the dads, etc.

This book is great to begin reading before the baby is born or when the baby is tiny, but can be enjoyed at any point up to and into toddlerhood, if you need guidance. I read this book when my child was one year old because I had co-sleeping concerns. This is the only Sears book I read, and now I wish I had read more! I love the Sears' values.

Only half way through this book and loving it! The title is right in the sense that this is a "commonsense guide" but it is great to have some kind of affirmation that what you are doing is the right thing, especialy being a 1st time parent. I especially appreciate the authors' acknowledgment that all of their ideas will not work for everyone or that not everyone will need to use all of their ideas. A.P. is a very natural, intuitive way of parenting and this book is very helpful in helping you realize these intuitions and to go with them. I personally have a hard time going with my gut instincts - I tend to doubt myself and usually listen to an outside opinion - but this book has made me a little more aware of my instincts, or more the fact that my feelings ARE insticnts, and that makes it quite a bit easier to recognize them and to listen to myself. This is especially important in the area of child rearing because no one at all knows my child or what is best for them better than I do. It's a definite confidence booster! Would recommend to everyone!

This well written book is exactly what I needed as a new mother. It gave me confidence in the maternal instincts I was feeling but didn't know if I should trust -- thanks to all the harsh "baby trainer" advice out there. Dr. Sears provides a comprehensive, common sense, and nonjudgmental look at what attachment parenting is and is not. What I found most refreshing is the compassionate attitude he encourages parents to have toward their babies. Among other things, he helps parents understand that a baby's cries are an effort to communicate, NOT to manipulate. The book is well written and supported by both scientific and anecdotal evidence.

I have a ten-month daughter, and do virtually everything recommended
in this book. I agree completely with Dr. Sears' methods, and I'm
very grateful to his wife and him to the effort expended expounding
these views.

However, the book itself is maddeningly repetitive and banal. How
many times must it repeat nostrums like "Do what works for you" or
"Trust your instincts"? I expected, at least, some solid discussion
about current research into this area, but the book only had links to
the associated web-sites ...
However, on the web-sites, I was pleased to see full references to
recent research, and discussion thereof. Skip the book and browse the
sites instead. - Rujith.

I absolutely love the concepts in this book.. I became a Mother for the first time this past September.. and I was so lost as to what to do with my son and how to raise him well. After reading this book, I had a fresh and new perspective and now I don't feel like I am making any mistakes in catering to his every demand. Back in the 70's, the common theory of parents was to let babies "cry it out" and to "train" them.. so this was the type of advice I was getting from many family members. I think that the popular theory today is practicing AP.. and I feel so good doing it! My son is 3.5 months old and he is such a good baby.. and I think it has to do with his confidence in me always responding and being there for him. A very good book and highly recommended. I recommend all of his books.

My mother and two grandmothers were child development experts, and I have taken many classes in Child Development and Early Intervention with special needs children. Now that I am expecting, I needed an easy primer and modern update to help put all that knowledge into one digestible "to-do" list. This book, while meandering a little (hence the 4, not 5, stars) is a great intro to Attachment Parenting and a few basic, do-able things for new parents. I especially like that Dr. Sears gives a great deal of recognition to the fact that not every technique is for every family, and that it's OK to not be orthodox in your application of AP.

Especially highly recommended for first-time parents who are overwhelmed by advice! It's nice to be reminded to follow your own instincts and common sense.

I was so thrilled to find this book, which simply substantiates everything I've been doing instinctively since our baby was born--nursing on demand, responding to her cries, holding her a lot, etc. I have never liked the term "spoiled" to describe a baby, and I always knew that any child of mine would never be left in the crib alone and frightened to cry it out. So what a welcome surprise it was to find out I am one of many who espouse this "attachment" philosophy.

When it comes to babies, I believe you need a certain amount of science combined with a healthy dose of animal instinct. Dr. Sears brings to the table medical expertise, along with the practical experience of raising multiple children and a deep respect for the innate knowledge parents have from the get-go. His advice is organic, not demanding, as he explains how attachment parenting can work for a wide range of families in many circumstances.

I would recommend this book to anyone researching baby-care techniques. It is a clear, natural approach to child rearing, and one that we will practice for the duration of our daughter's childhood.

I bought this book when I started to learn about "babywearing" your baby in a sling. I have a preterm, high-need infant that was constantly crying unless she was held (if she was held she was perfect). I didn't mind holding her all the time, but I needed to get other things done as well. She wasn't gaining weight properly due to excessive calorie loss from crying, thus started the baby wearing. I must mention that she is breasfed and also sleeps with me (hubby sleeps separatly for now) and that I'm a stay at home mom. This book encourages a very hands-on type of parenting, and I can imagine that it's not for everyone (though it should be)! Dr. Sears really understands infants needs from a physiological as well as psychological point of view, and all his reasonings made perfect sense to me. When I bought the book I was already using most of the tools he recommends for this type of parenting out of instinct, and this book provided validation to me that I was doing things "right". I had met with a lot of negative input from various family members about 'spoiling' and 'crying it out' neither of which I could really agree with. If you believe in crying it out, this book is not for you! However if you yearn for a deep connection and very strong bond with your baby I strongly recommend this book both as a mother and a nurse. My 31 week preterm baby has now gained an appropriate amount of weight and is a totally different baby from when I brought her home after a two month hospital stay and I attribute this to reading (then implementing) Attachment Parenting.

Before I read this book, "attachment parenting" was just a phrase I'd heard thrown around--with good and bad connotations. This book explains the principles of attachment parenting, the benefits of it, and the challenges. When I reach a time in my life where I'm ready to have a baby, I am definitely going to try out some of these techniques. I already knew I was going to try breastfeeding for at least a year, but now I'll add to that trying out the baby sling and bed sharing.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who's heard about attachment parenting (especially if all you've heard is other peoples' opinions). Read this book and decide for yourself what parenting style you'd like to try.

Throw out your "baby training" books! The Attachment Parenting Book offers new parents a loving alternative to advice that goes against basic human intuition. The Searses new book goes into much more depth about the philosophy of Attachment Parenting and why it is a way of life for so many families. It's more than just another childcare book. With supportive research,it clearly lays out the importance of developing a strong connection with baby and how that connection can prevent so many of the difficult problems parents and children experience in our society. Babies learn empathy, trust and affection by having their needs acknowledged and responded to in a loving way. This is a "must have" book for all new and experienced parents!

I wish everyone could read this book. Even those who don't have children or have grown children. This book and these concepts help guide the way on how the future of your society should be raised. If everyone were to read this book and understand the profound impact they have on how a child will grow and mature into an adult we'd have a lot healthier and better society.

I applaud parents who invest the time and money in buying books and educating themselves on how to be the best parent they can be and how the development of a child really happens.

This book is a good overview of Attachment Parenting. It is true as others have pointed out that much of the book's content is also covered in past Dr. Sears books. However this book is especially useful as a good overview of AP....or as a gift to a new mother or mother-to-be who has never heard about AP...or to give to grandparents or family members who don't understand why you are raising your child in an AP manner. I feel that my money was well spent by buying this book.

This book was GREAT! I wish I would have purchased this before having the baby. Instead I purchased it 3 months after having the baby after I had read a lot of other nonsense from other "experts". This book really made a lot of sense in that it treats having a baby/child more like a LIFESTYLE (which having children is a change in lifestyle). The other books I read seemed to be treating the baby like a nuisance or inconvenience rather than a human life. This book really helped me to relax and get away from the idea of schedule or routine with the baby and go more with the flow of treating the baby like a person with her own needs rather than a dog to train to be on a schedule.

This book gave my husband and I the confidence to follow our hearts rather than the well-meaning albeit but misguided advice of friends and family. Prior to the birth of our son I whole heartedly agree with "crying it out" and other methods touted by baby trainers. However after his birth, we quickly realized that we could not use such heartless methods and began looking at attachment parenting. Dr. Sears encourages parents to trust their instincts which often have a biological basis. This book changed my perspective about babies and parenting. I am so glad that I read this book early on. If you are a new parent or parent-to-be I encourage to read this book and visit Dr. Sear's website (askdrsears.com).

Thank you Dr. Sears! Attachment parenting has been around since the beginning of time, but we have Dr Sears to thank for bringing it to the forefront of discussion with the many books he has published, which all rally around the belief in AP. This is a must-read for first-time moms, as well as a great book for moms with children. With how our society pushes mothers to create independence in our children from the second they are born, telling us if we don't they will be clingy, whiny brats with the inability to allow us mothers to go on with our own independent lives, Dr. Sears brings us back to the importance of holding, loving and nursing our children, impressing upon us how these are CHILDREN who NEED their parents. I've read this book and now purchased it as a babyshower gift.

I've read this, as well as other Dr. Sears books, and have been a firm follower in AP (all mothers do it to an extent). My daughter has slept in our bed since she came home from the hospital (which I said I'd never do), she was breastfed until 2 1/2 (which I said I'd do for only a year) and she has been carried every chance she had. As a result (at 3 1/2), she is one of the most independent, self-disciplined, empathetic, funny and well-behaved children you will ever meet. Please go on and read Dr. Sears' books on discipline and raising a succesful child. My success as a parent has been due to Dr. Sears sharing his philsophy that "discipline" means much more than "punishment".

All I've really done is follow my instincts. However, Dr. Sears helped me to put some of my instincts to action and helped me to understand why some of the parenting advice out there, that went against my mothering instincts, was not the right option. My friends who formula fed, let their children cry it out in their cribs and spank couldn't understand why their children where having throw-down kicking and screaming fits by the time they were two. Afterall, those are practices that society tells us is best. These mothers didn't realize they weren't listening to their children. Thank you Drs. Sears!

I really enjoyed reading The Attachment Parenting Book. I found it full of useful information for how to handle the first few months of my baby's life. Although I don't necessarily agree 100% with everything in the book, I found the information presented to be quite convincing and written in a way that let's you come to your own conclusions about what is best for your baby. Mrs. Sears does a great job of making you feel like you are the best judge of your baby's needs and gives you confidence to trust your insticts as mother (and father).

I recommend this book to any parent to be (or parent of a newborn).

I was first introduced to attachment parenting from an excerpt in a book here on the store, and then shortly after my daughter was born I went to our local library and came across a book called "Attachment Parenting". I quickly read it and have been hooked on this parenting style ever since. Dr. Sears wrote the forward for this book, and that's how I tracked down his own AP book. It's a wonderful and interested read punctuated by personal stories and experiences, which I find more useful sometimes than studies. The reasoning behind this parenting style makes so much sense and I love that they approach the subject with flexibilty. It's not an all or nothing approach.

Wow! If parents are reading this review and/or are shopping for a parenting book, then it must mean they care to learn about different parenting styles to meet what's best for their family. This book is it. It gives parents a natural perspective when searching for the right way of parenting. It really will help the new or veteran parent make the right decisions for their baby versus making the right decisions for society or their job, etc. Please read this book and give your child the best, a nurturing parent.

I really like the Attachment Parenting technique, in theory. To be honest, I found most of this book to be common sense that I happened to practice myself. But, to completely jump on this bandwagon, I feel you must be a woman with 1950s values or earlier regarding what it means to be a woman in 2014. Does this guy have a clue that women in the world work and now even possible are the breadwinners of the family? They also might even use their degrees because that is why they got them! This book completely implies that you are a "stay-at-home-mom" that does not have to work or that there must be a way you can choose not to work. I don't know about you, but money to live has to come from somewhere. Life is expensive and I'm not talking about living even slightly extravagantly. Full-on AP-style parenting only works for those women who:

1. Can stay at home until her child is about 5
2. Whose significant other makes all of the money(or have trust funds)
3. Who don't work/work very little and choose to use welfare
OR
3. Those who have low-needs babies and/or have a lot of familial help close by.
(also, keep in mind that this book in theory, frowns upon you if you are not a married, wealthy mom with lots of support)

This book makes me feel like you must take the AP 100% or leave it. There is one example in the book that struck me as a touch elitist. It was the example of the 2 women that went back to work. I almost couldn't finish the book at this point. The woman that stopped breastfeeding at one month was obviously an evil, selfish witch.

I wonder why we still listen to old men about how to raise our children. Just because he was a physician doesn't matter. If you want to really get my attention, give me a book written by a mother who has a degree and does not preach or judge..and please, don't make her a person that has no financial woes and is privileged enough to hire help.

I guess if we all lived in a fairy tale, we could all graze around in our organic cotton pajamas, breastfeeding from a hemp sling and singing while we pick flowers and stir the pot of whatever is cooking. Our husbands would come home to our king-size bed with or without a sleeper attached and we would all go to La Leche League meetings and homeschool our children until we die of old age with the most well-adjusted rocket scientist/non-profit-organization-starting/self-actualized children on the planet. I suppose if we all had more money than we knew what to do with, we could all start our organic farm in Vermont getting checks from our trust fund account.

I found The Attachment Parenting Book by Dr. and Martha Sears to be an outstanding resource, both for myself and for the "grandparents", who are a little critical of our parenting style! The tone is not at all judgemental, so that you feel comfortable taking the ideas that you like and leaving those who don't work for you, even though a convincing case is made, in my opinion, for breastfeeding, babywearing, sleep sharing and responding to baby's cries. Clearly and concisely written, this book is a must-read for all new parents, especially those interested in attachment parenting.

These days the Sears has been popular among Japanese parents since the Japanese version of "The Baby Book" was released in last October. Also was I caught with Dr.Bill's magic words, and have collected every publication they (Bill/Martha) wrote.
However, the most impressive thing in this book was its cover, a beautiful baby stares at you...you will find nothing brand-news if you are the person who read their other books before.
My opinion is that "Christian Parenting""The Baby Book""The Fussy Baby Book" are worth reading. As for breastfeeding, I found other books like "Bestfeeding" more helpful than their book.

Dr. Sears' first couple of books were interesting to me, but he has now churned out something like twenty-five parenting books in the past five years, and frankly, it's all a rehash now.
"The Baby Book" is really the only Sears book you will need. All the rest of his single-issue titles ("Nighttime Parenting," "The Family Nutrition Book") are basically expanded chapters from The Baby Book. And he is billed as a "parent of eight" and a practicing physician, but I don't see how any one man (even with his wife's assistance) could turn out book after book after book --several new ones per year -- and still have time to work a job *AND* parent in the way he claims we should all parent our kids.
I don't like corporate parenting franchises and thats what "The Sears Parenting Library" is. I prefer a more personal, thoughtful approach to the topic of attachment parenting. I much prefered the book "Attachment Parenting" by Katie Granju. Although Sears may have come up with the phrase attachment parenting, Granju wrote a better book on the subject.

This book reaffirmed what I was doing intuitively as a parent of a high-need baby. I was getting alot of raised eyebrows and unsolicited opinions on my parenting. I was beginning to question if what I was doing was right. This book brought back my confidence as a new mom and I now have a very happy, content baby.

Dr. Sears and his wife Martha have been my salvation. Their loving approach to parenting is like the voice in your head you know you should listen to. The book is written with sincere and trusted strategies anyone can use and is fun to read.

Absolutely LOVED this book! What a great way to raise your child and feel like a great parent too! Every new parent needs to read this incredible book the Sears. I've continued to add every new book they come out with to our library!

absolutely loved this book! it did spend some time on explaining the value and reasoning behind attachment parenting, but it was actually very straight forward and easy to read to understand the main concepts of attachment parenting! it is a great beginner book towards attachment parenting and sparks your interest to read more parenting books with details about older children and conflicts later on with children.

As a first-time mother, I wanted to do everything in my power to ensure that my (now almost 7-month old) son felt loved, safe and secure. We still co-sleep, I breastfeed on demand, and, at the urging of Dr. Sears and Martha Sears, I initially wore him in a sling as much as possible, which was basically all day. I don't think Dr. Sears realizes how thinly some eager new moms are willing to spread themselves in order to "do what is best for the baby". After about a month of this, I was ready to pass out. I would strongly urge mothers to first evaluate their circumstances, and decide what their personal limit is, because the more you wear the baby, the more abnormal it becomes for him to lie in the bassinet, the bouncy seat, or anywhere else. Babies are smart, and the more you wear them, the more they resist being put down. For me, it had gotten to the point that I couldn't even shower, because they baby would cry the minute I put him down. My husband works long and variable hours, and we have no family in town, so I had no relief. Very gradually, I began putting him down little by little, and eventually he started to enjoy playing independently in his bouncer, and now in his Baby Einstein activity center. Please, don't make my mistake. Wear your baby in moderation. If you don't, you will exhaust yourself, your marriage will suffer, and the baby will be very anxious unless he is held.

This & all the books in the Dr.Sears parenting library are wonderful! Very helpful with caring, smart ways to make parenting easier. You can really tell that the authors enjoy thier work & being parents themselves.

When I received this book after ordering it from the store.com, I was shocked at what a small, thin book it is. This book is really more like the size of a booklet or as one previous reviewer said, it is more like just a rehash of a single chapter from his bigger books. I didn't learn anything new from it that I hadn't already read in "The Baby Book" and his other books. I feel like Dr. Sears is trying to wring every last penny out of parents by repackaging his previous book *chapters* into book after book after book. I got much more out of 'Attachment Parenting' by Katy Alison Granju. It is the book I give as a baby gift to every pregnant friend and new parent.

I read many Attachment Parenting books, including this one, before my daughter was born and was planning on implementing all the suggestions to the letter. My newborn daughter had her own opinions! The only thing that worked for us was the breastfeeding, and I breastfed her for 19 mo. She hated the sling, much to my disappointment, as I had had visions of carrying her in the sling while going about my daily chores. She preferred to be held in my arms or ride in the stroller! As for the "family bed" --she was never able to sleep more than 1.5 hrs at a time while sleeping with me, but when I gradually transitioned her to a crib at 6 weeks, she started sleeping 3 hrs at a stretch. She recently turned 2, and over the last 2 years I've tried bringing her back to bed with us with no success. She just prefers to sleep on her own. I struggled with many feelings of confusion and frustration with Attachment Parenting until I realized that I am incredibly attached to my daughter! We are extremely bonded to each other. And this bond was not shaken in the least when I chose to let her cry to sleep at 12 months. She did not become clingy or fearful, and in fact, her mood and behavior improved noticeably because she was getting better sleep.

My point is this: If following the "letter of the law" of Attachment Parenting works for you, then great! But let's not make Attachment Parenting into a dogmatic religion. I've encountered a tremendous amout of judgemental and intolerant attitudes from AP types, which baffles me. I was even censored by Mothering.com for telling my cry-to-sleep story.

My daughter is a happy, secure, confident, empathetic, very social, and very intelligent toddler who proves wrong anyone who says the only way to raise a child is to follow the letter of the AP law. Take what works for you and let's please try not to be judgemental of our fellow parents! AP parents tend to be very intelligent and progressive people--why then so much dogmatism?

I was HUGELY disappointed in this book. I read the whole thing cover to cover, and I was not very impressed. The author made so many statements (there are little statements in small boxes all over the book) about what attachment parenting is and isn't, but there was absolutely nothing to back any of his statements up. He never sited any research, except for a few things on breastfeeding. The whole first chapter was "what attachment parenting is" and was just a bunch of sentences about what it is. They seemed kind of made up or like they were written by someone who does infomercials. And then the second chapter was what attachment parenting is not. To me, those were 2 wasted chapters.

I did not disagree with everything but the things I agreed with, I felt that they were things most mothers would already do instinctively. The whole feeling I got from reading this book was that Dr. Sears was once a tried and true pediatrician who felt pretty sure of everything he learnt in medical school. He states in the book that he and his wife had a difficult child and his wife (with her maternal instincts, and the courage to do what she felt was best) did different than what his medical training said was best, and they had success. My impression was that once he saw his wife succeed with a more maternal and gentle approach, he went out like a man and studied it and came up with a philosophy and wrote a book about it. I dislike the fact that the book seems to imply that if you don't do "attachment parenting" you will not have a well attached child, and then he uses an anecdotal-seeming example of ONE terrible cold mother whose child did not attach and all the problems that child had. I have seen a lot of problems develop out of co-sleeping and it seems that that is one of his big pushes. I think new parents are better advised to read more than one book on parenting, inform yourself about different styles of parenting (especially when it comes to sleep- my favorite was Marc Weissbluth's book) and then use your own instincts and knowledge of your own babies needs.

With our 3rd child we tried this attachment parenting. Be careful, if dad is not part of it your child will not bond. If you are set on doing attachment parenting I would really be careful. At some point you have to detach and it is very hard for the child. We will not be doing this parenting style again. It breeds very demanding children who are borderline spoiled. It is great in concept and in the beginning, but if you are not careful Mom becomes the only consoler and Dad is left out. Bad for baby and bad for dad. Sleep time after 1year is hellish because you can't get the baby down without constant maternal attachment. I would highly suggest following your God given instincts and love for your child. You know yourself, your child and your family circumstances better than the Sears do. This form of parenting is not as peachy as it seems and as our child approaches 2 years old we are still trying to correct the bad habits that attachment parenting caused in our child. We highly regret using attachment parenting and strongly suggest avoiding it. We know several families that have used this method as well and with similar problems.

This book should come with a warning! When we first started with this book we were very excited about it and bought copies to all of our friends who were having children around the same time as we were. Almost four years later, all of us are suffering from the same thing. Intimacy is a very important aspect of a healthy marriage and let's face it, a child in your bed for 3+ years isn't going to help your cause. Dr Sears writes that children will eventually want to sleep on their own sometime after the age of 2. Our first child is 3 years and 8 months old now and we just got him moved to his own room. However, I'm sleeping with him in his room until our second child (now 2 months old) is old enough to replace me (we hope). Every effort to get him to sleep in his own bed - even in our own room - has been met with fierce resistance. At the end of the day, I don't blame him! There is no way to get a child who's become comfortable sleeping with mom and dad to willingly start sleeping in their own bed without causing some emotional distress.

This book reminds me of the whole Atkins fad where the man behind the diet died a fat old man - though a very rich man indeed. My recommendation, don't buy this book - children living within a healthy marriage are going to be better off in the long run.