Checking Him Out

A touching story of a man struggling with his identity while longing for his parents' approval and love. He finds a second love who helps him to come to terms with the loss of his first love. He also realizes that he cannot do anything about his parents if they refuse to accept him.

This is my first novel from author Debbie McGowan and, boy, was I lucky to find her! Ms. McGowan is a talented, lucid writer with utterly believable and empathetic characters.

There are two main ones, Sol (Solomon) and Adam. Sol is a long-time closet-case married for the last eight years to his lesbian best friend, Elise. They share a marriage of convenience that gets Solomon residency in the U. S. and a straight "front" which they both feel they need to bolster their career paths in Boston. He is a senior design engineer, she is a newly-named partner in a major law firm.

The arrangement has worked just fine for both of them, until fate steps in, in the form of a hot young man who tries to cut ahead in the supermarket checkout line. Cutting ahead involves a lot of front-to-back rubbing as Adam tries to pass Sol, as Elise looks on. Yes, love at first sight - after all, this is indeed a gay romance, and a damned good one.

But there are problems. Though they are intensely in lust with each other, Sol panics as soon as a bed is involved. Even after he leaves Elise (who is, by the way, shacking up with her female paralegal) and reluctantly moves in with Adam (too soon!), he still can't share the bed with him. He has no idea why. Adam immediately suspects he was abused when young, but Sol insists not.

Aside from spending too much of his life trying to satisfy other people, like his disapproving mother, his boss and society in general, he can't think of a thing that would cause him to be so skittish in the bed of the man he loves. He's fine having sex on the kitchen floor, in the shower, but not in the bedroom. At several points, he falls apart and runs away, checking into a hotel, until Adam lays down the law - we have to deal with this now!

Easier said than done. Sol needs time to get himself together and both need to heal their relationship. Perhaps a change of location? Both are British ex-pats, so they return to England for a holiday together and to meet each other's parents. It's only when Sol gets back to his small home town that the reason for his fears and his years in the closet are finally revealed, in stark relief. And it's a heart breaker, not to mention something he's repressed for many years. No, it's not sexual abuse. It's worse, and I won't say another word about it and spoil the reveal, which is both profound and profoundly moving.

I loved this book. I loved the totally believable dialogue and situations, the heartbreak, the joy, the near-perfect pacing. "Checking Him Out" is an extraordinarily well-written book that defies many of the standard (and trite) gay romance memes that drive me crazy. In fact, almost nothing about this book is predictable. However, once you know the cause of Sol's issues, it all fits together like a perfect puzzle should.

I also applaud Ms. McGowan for her deft handling of the "British Author" problem. Just a week-or-so ago, I posted a review of another excellent book by a British author, but complained about how he got several expressions wrong for American characters living in Pennsylvania, including calling the living room "the lounge" and similar Britishisms. But Ms. McGowan did a brilliant end-run around those problems by making her characters both British expatriates living in Boston. They even comment on their occasional use of inappropriate British names for places and things. Perfect!

I do recommend this book to everyone. It's a wonderful, beautiful, believable and moving read.

What a wonderfully written, beautiful story. This was a terrific story about many things. Love, heartbreak, laughter and tears. But it was most about the relationship between Adam and Sol. Two men who met in a grocery check out line. This story was wonderful and refreshing and just laugh out loud funny at times. Then there are spectacular insta-wet moments between them. Then when the whole story is coming together it breaks you down to happy and sad tears. I was completely captivated by this author and the characters. I can't recommend this book highly enough. This is beyond terrific! Read it today!!

I've read some really great reviews on this book, one in particular stands out which means I'll keep mine brief since its already been done so much better than I could.
While I don't read a lot of M/M books I have read several and enjoyed them, I like romance so provided the books have good characters, emotions, relationships, background...you get the gist I like the romance and the build-up and so I absolutely loved this book.
I loved the fact that not only did I cry, lots of times but I also laughed so much probably at things a lot of people wouldn't have found funny, I'm from Yorkshire and the author had it spot on, the little sayings and things unique to this part of the world.
There's really nothing left for me to say except I absolutely loved this book.

Sol and Adam may have been similar physically, but in most other ways opposites attract. The story was phenomenal. The author threw in elements of coming out, staying in, hate, love, redemption and forgiveness. It is beautiful. It seems the story has more parts, but this can be read as a stand alone.