No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending

Everyone in this life has been wounded. Christians have not been taught how to deal with their pain. This is an excellent book which destroys the myth that we can go from problem to hallelujah in an instant.

Wow... I purchased this book because I knew the author in passing in high school and wanted to support her. I can say that the message and story she shares is personal, authentic, and beautiful. Although the message is based on her Christian path it is also something that could move anyone of any faith. It left me thinking about my own experiences in life and how I could stop faking it and find comfort in my own life.

Finally someone addresses the tendency Christians have of "faking fine". But not only does Esther Fleece shed light on this tendency, she chronicles her own terrifying journey that leads her to lament and lean on God. Readers, including me, are lucky that she shares her story because her story is our story in one form or another. Different details, same hurt. Buy more than one copy--the whole time you're reading the book, you'll think of brokenhearted people who need to read it.

The author is judgmental against other women as noticed early on in the book, and her stories sound a bit fake and embellished. We started reading this for our Woman's Bible Study (we live in Orange County, CA) and quickly realized it was not for us! I cannot recommend this book to anyone who would ever do a surgical cosmetic procedure, lashes, etc. Does the author wear makeup when she speaks? Does she get her hair done? Has she ever even had a baby to where she may desire to have her old shape back? Who is she to judge other women who may do more than she does to look their best? The author alienated her audience real quick. Goodwill pile for this book.

Thoroughly written, raw and real. It's a refreshing perspective that helps the reader develop a real relationship with Jesus. I appreciate her honesty and how challenging it must have been to express her pain. This book is in-depth and there's a lot to digest. Her insightfulness and connections to the real truth of what Jesus' expectaions of us are inspiring. He wants to hear our laments, hurt sorrows and it's ok to ask why. I'm thankful for this book.

Copied from the store: If you’ve ever been given empty clichés during challenging times, you know how painful it can feel to be misunderstood by well-meaning people. Far too often, it seems the response we get to our hurt and disappointment is to suck it up, or pray it away.

But Scripture reveals a God who meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be.

No More Faking Fine is your invitation to get gut-level honest with God through the life-giving language of lament. Lament, a practice woven throughout Scripture, is a prayer that God never ignores, never silences, and never wastes. As author Esther Fleece says, “Lament is the unexpected pathway to true intimacy with God, and with those around us.”

Esther learned this the hard way, by believing she could shut down painful emotions that haunted her from a broken past she tried to forget on her fast track to success. But in silencing her pain, she robbed herself of the opportunity to be healed. Maybe you’ve done the same.No More Faking Fine is your permission to lament—to give voice to the hurt, frustration, and disappointment you’ve kept inside and silenced for too long. Drawing from careful biblical study and hard-won insight, Esther reveals how to use God’s own language to draw closer to Him as He leads us through any darkness into His marvelous light.

No More Faking Fine is a book on the importance of letting God into your struggles. It talks about the need to get honest with God about the things that are troubling you.

"God meets us where we are, and not where we pretend to be"

Esther Fleece talks about how we need to stop just pushing through the pain and instead take the time to grieve it with God.

I loved this quote by D.A. Carson "There is no attempt in scripture to whitewash the anguish of God's people when they undergo suffering. They argue with God, they complain to God, they weep before God. Theirs is not a faith that leads to dry-eyed stoicism, but to a faith so robust it wrestles with God."

I have been "Fine" forever, even when I wasn't. Even in the midst of suicidal thoughts, I felt like I had to maintain the appearance of being "Fine". Lately, friends tease me because I question God so often. I found this book to be a much-needed breath of fresh air as it gives us permission to get honest with God however that may look. In that honesty, we invite God into the pain so that He can heal it completely and totally.

*Received a copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

Lament is a word I would describe as a “churchy-word”. It’s not one I’ve heard outside of reading the Bible or a bible study. I don’t remember ever hearing a sermon on lament, at least not defined by that term.

“God meets us where we are at and not where we pretend to be.” Esther Fleece’s words leapt off the page from the very beginning of this book. As she began to tell the story of her life I realized that we don’t have much in common outside of a faith in Jesus. Single, a career business woman with a challenging past wounded by her family even defining herself as an orphan, I was heart-broken by her experiences.

Although Esther and I don’t have similar experiences, she asked questions throughout No More Faking Fine that helped me realize we had more in common than I first thought.

“How often have you tried not to cry your own tears?”

“If nothing is too hard for God, then why doesn’t he deliver us from things overnight?”

“Why do we so often pull back when things are hard?”

Esther Fleece writes from a place of experience and vulnerability throughout the book. Taking the reader to Job, Joel, Habakkuk, and Nehemiah as well and Psalms Esther reveals the depths of God’s love for us through her explanation and urging towards lament in our pray life.

“Prayer was a significant part of my life, yet I had never been taught about the prayer called lament.”

“Lament, he said, is simply expressing honest emotion to God when life is not going as planned. Whether we’re hurt, frustrated, confused, betrayed, overwhelmed, sad or disappointed, lament is the language God has given us to talk to Him right in the middle of life’s messes. It’s real talk with God when you’re hurting, when all you can do is cry out for His help.”

As I read through No More Faking Fine I realized that although I may not have had language for lament, there were seasons of my life where I had journaled through lament. Fleece reminded me that God heard those cries, he always strives to for his good to be the ultimate outcome even in our hardest times.

Although I found this book to be one that made me think deeper and challenged me, I found certain sections to be long and repetitive. I felt certain parts were too much about arguing the point that lament was a good thing and not enough about the application. For that reason, I give this book 4 out of 5 stars.

This book focuses on learning the practice of lament. Many of the Psalms in the Bible are laments by people who are struggling and wondering where God is amidst the difficulty. In fact, there's a whole book titled "Lamentations". In this book, we learn about Esther's tumultuous childhood and the effects it has continued to have on her life despite her desire to forget the past and move on. She learns that the best way to find healing is to address the wounds and a wonderful way of doing so is through learning to lament our hurts. Lamenting involves speaking honestly to God about the hurts in our lives, trusting that he is still good, still loving, still for us, and believing that he will bring about justice on our behalf. Through the process of being honest about our negative feelings, we will find healing. The process is painful but it's better than staying stuck in bitterness and hurt.

I gained some useful tools and insight into acknowledging, addressing and finding healing for my hurts in God. We all experience pain in this world and we have a choice in how we will deal with it. Will we believe that God can use our pain for good and healing or will we choose to believe the lies of our enemy that God is not loving or present or trustworthy. I recommend this book for anyone who is feeling stuck or wallowing in hurt and desires healing and freedom, hope and new life.

This book. Wow. Most books I read that are nonfiction are books I think, "Wow. I needed to hear that!" and then put into my lending library. This one is different.

Esther talks about how we've lost the knowledge of how lamenting brings us closer to God, and allows us to know Him truthfully. She starts out talking about "coping mechanisms" versus true lament, and it truly startled me; we always hear about coping mechanisms being GOOD things, right? Esther challenged that in me; I put the book down after the first chapter, to digest what she had to say, and to sift through the Scripture (which she uses with each and every point she makes!!!!) to figure out what belief was true and Godly. Then I picked the book back up.

I finished it this morning. There's a LOT to chew on in here. And it's not going on my shelf right away. God and I have a lot more to worth through together. There are things in my past I haven't lamented that I need to. And I'm lamenting for our world, and our country, for the pain and division. I'm asking, "How long, God?" And I'm finding that He wants to meet me in that pain, to give me comfort. He's teaching me a new thing, and is using Esther's vulnerability and own journey to do it.

On one of the last few pages of her book, Esther writes the following - and the ring of truth was a clarion call to me:
Suffering has the ability to transform us into compassionate people. Without suffering, it would be far too easy to become entitled, stuck-up, self-centered people. We can choose to cling to a "fine" and comfortable life, but it will compromise authentic relationships with God and others. We can accompany people on their journeys only as far as we are willing to go ourselves."

I recommend this book. I recommend it to people of ANY age - especially if you're hungry for community but don't know what's holding you back. If you've EVER been told to "suck it up", you NEED this book. If you want to help others, read it. If something's been holding you back in sharing your own story, read it.

Read this book. :) (I received an advanced reader's copy.)

When I started working at Focus on the Family, Esther Fleece is someone I looked up to as an example of someone who had a strong faith and a courageous voice in sharing her story. In her new book, No More Faking Fine, Esther explores the emotion of lament and what it means to welcome people into your pain and suffering, and use that to glorify God. Much of the Old Testament shows individuals lamenting openly, yet in our current culture, that emotion is often pushed down because its an uncomfortable place to join someone - even when they're your dearest of loved ones.

I love the idea of allowing ourselves to experience the hurts of the world and not need to rush through them to appease societal expectations, but to truly experience a very real human emotion and how to turn to God through that, and the community he has intentionally placed around you. Much of my passion for wanting to make this topic an open conversation stems from the calling I feel to work in and advocate for the mental health community. If we ask people to rush through hard emotions too quickly or to not acknowledge them at all, we risk causing irreparable harm to their psyche and how they handle future events.

Friends, I encourage you to read through this book, then read through the hard parts of the Old Testament - Job, Lamentations, Esther... dig into the messy lives in scripture that are captured to show us God's sovereignty and faithfulness even in the mess. Then I encourage you to reach out to friends or loved ones who may be struggling with something and ask them how they're really doing - dig deep and don't accept a surface-level conversation. Be willing to join them in their lament and offer them the empathy and community that can be so difficult to find in those seasons of life.

Many of us wonder while in difficult circumstances or trying times what the purpose is – as in, why we are experiencing what we are experiencing. I can imagine that Esther Fleece wondered that many, many times. I’m not certain that we ever get a full understanding of the why of our circumstances. I’m not even certain that there always is a why.

In No More Faking Fine, Esther Fleece tells her story. She is both a skilled writer and an emotional storyteller. My story has very little similarity to hers, but my feelings throughout my journey echo hers in so many ways. The desires to be known and loved are universal feelings. The pain of betrayal, abandonment and abuse are also universal. This book deals with all of those things in such a tender and wise way.

The title of the book led me to assume that this was a book about authenticity, and it sort of is. But mostly it’s about lament. Now, I should admit that before this book I knew very little about lament. I couldn’t have defined it and I would never have said that lament was a part of my life (or even that it should be). After reading No More Faking Fine, I am convinced that lament is possibly the most important thing I never knew I needed.

No More Faking Fine is broken into 11 chapters separated into three parts: Faking Fine, A New Way to Pray and To Sing Again. Each chapter begins with a short scripture verse and ends with a beautiful prayer filled with more scripture references.

This book unearthed things that I had buried deep inside myself and caused me to want to deal with them for the first time in a very long time. The themes of forgiveness, healing, and repentance are heavily covered in this book. In fact, if there could be only one thing I take away from this book it will be the idea that forgiveness is not possible without lament. This one concept may change my life – I pray that it does. Here are my favorite quotes from the section on forgiveness:

“I am convinced we cannot forgive offenses without first lamenting those offenses appropriately. We need the grace of God, the example of Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit to help us look favorably upon a person who has wronged us. And we first need to lament the wrong that has been done to us.” (p160)

“Unprocessed, unforgiven hurt means we still carry it around with us. It means it still drags us down. But forgiveness is our invitation to process the pain so we can be authentically freed from it. Forgiveness is a process of releasing our laments to God. It is feeling the weight of what this person did to cause you harm, taking this offense directly to God, and telling Him exactly how it made you feel. We have to lament it, not forget it, in order to move forward.” (p162)

I cannot say why things happen the way they do, why bad things happen, or why people hurt people, but I can say for certain that God can and will use our circumstances to bring hope to others. He can use our stories to love people, to teach them about His character, and to lead them towards healing and wholeness. Esther Fleece is bravely doing exactly that with this book. I pray that it travels well – into the hearts and lives of those who need it most and that it brings with it the healing power of Jesus over the wounds of those who are hurting. There are very few books that I believe carry with them the power to mend broken hearts and lives – this is one of them.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Sometimes you stumble on a book that you can hardly finish because after the first or second chapter you can think of at least three people that you want to share it with. No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending, (Zondervan 2017) is that book. Esther Fleece had it made, except for one little thing. Her perfect life was a sham. On the outside, everything was wonderful, but on the inside, everything was falling apart.
Esther’s story has so many levels and layers that it’s hard to know where to begin. But two things stood out for me: the first is Lament’, and the next is ‘forgiveness’.
Let’s start with lament. Admit it, it’s hard to be mad at God, especially when everyone is telling you to suck it up, to get over it. But when we turn to the Psalms, there are so many examples of what it means to turn to God when things turn sour. Individuals poured out their heartache, their heartbreak, their grief and sorrow to God. And so did the nation called Israel (The Old Testament Israel: the twelve tribes led by the sons of Jacob—whose name had been changed to Israel—this has nothing to do with the 21st century nation state called Israel.)
Sometimes there is nothing we can do except listen to God as He calls us to Him, as He calls us into a season of Lament. A time when we pull back from the Theater of perfect lives, and let other people, let God speak into our lives. Just like for the Psalmist, just like for Israel, things happen in our lives which we struggle to deal with. We don’t understand them, others don’t understand them, and as Fleece points out, often our friends follow the example of Job’s friends, they try to come up with a reason. Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that the reason is that we live in a fallen world and is not because God is mad at us. (see page 120).
And as we go through the season of Lament, the ‘desert experience’ that many Christians know all too well, the bonus is often that we learn about forgiveness. And forgiving equals freeing. Forgiveness is freedom.
I want to give this book to several people who are struggling with these issues, but I want to read it again and again.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review.
5/5

I was fortunate to hear Esther speak at my church, which lead me to buy her book last year. However I realized I kept buying physical books and not reading them. So this year I bought the audio version too and just finished it during my LA commuting. It’s a quick easy listen as Esther does an incredible job sharing personal life stories and the topic of lament. I honestly had not even heard of lament until I heard her speak. I know ANYONE who reads/listens to this book will be blessed!
I think the church does a disservice by not addressing lament more and our culture pushes us through pain and mourning. Esther’s No More Faking Fine gave me permission to live in the dichotomy of loss, pain, sorrow, grief, mourning while still being able to find joy and love and laughter in life.
As the audio book was coming to an end I had a long cry and conversation with God about things I had been holding onto for years. I really felt Esther’s words and Gods grace finally freed me of past hurts I had been holding onto. This book is a must read for EVERYONE!
Thank you Esther for finding purpose in your pain by having courage to write and share this book with all of us. Xx

Each and every one of us will experience seasons of pain and suffering in our lives. In her book, No More Faking Fine, Esther Fleece dives vulnerably into theses moments in her life story that left her feeling rejected, abandoned, unloved, frustrated, fearful, and stuck in the enemy's lies.

When we find ourselves in these moments in life, we will have a critical question to answer, what will we do with the grief or sorrow that needs to be expressed? Will we suppress it and fake fine because that's what we think or told we're supposed to do? Or will we get real and choose to be authentic and express it all before God?

Esther had to answer these questions and as she shares in her story, she shares how she answered in both ways. I've had to answer these questions as well, and, like Esther, I've done both and have found what she shares to be true - that the pathway faking fine leads to is an empty, exhausting life still carrying the pain, even if you've convinced yourself you're fine, and that the pathway lamenting leads to is one of purpose and healing.

While the details of Esther's stories of pain are different than my own, I could have echoed nearly every word she wrote because unfortunately after a very long season of suffering, I became well versed in lamenting yet also found myself feeling shamed for my lamenting and feeling forced to fake fine. 7 years ago during my first lament I needed to hear this message, and I needed others to hear it too, but the message wasn't one out there, not in the church, not in culture, not in the book stores, but then last year I caught wind of this book coming soon from Zondervan, and it was like God told me, "Here it is."

Esther saw the need for our culture, the church, and individuals to understand the language of lament so we could all stop faking fine - "ending the pretending" as her subtitle says - which she boldly and clearly lays it out in her book. We all need to understand that lamenting is not only okay, it's necessary, it's healing, and it's biblical, and Esther goes to great lengths in her book to expand upon this, sharing her personal laments, offering rich and clear explanations, as well as providing almost exhaustive biblical references on lamenting.

No More Faking Fine is an insightful, deep, yet fluid read that I would recommend for anyone - because suffering doesn't discriminate and even Jesus tells us that in this world we will have trouble. All of us, at some point in our lives, will experience anguish, betrayal, sorrow, frustration, confusion, and other deep, complex emotions, and likely more than once. In those moments, we must allow our souls to express these emotions honestly, and not just honestly, but specifically to God so that he can meet us there, so that he can comfort, so that he can give peace, so that he can speak truth and hope and healing to us, so that we don't remain stuck in our pain and broken, so purpose and joy and life can come to us again. Esther's message is God's message to his broken world, and I couldn't recommend this book more so that we can all hear it.

This book is for those who find themselves faking fine, for those who feel the need to express the deep grief or sorrow they feel honestly before God but aren't sure how, for those who find themselves lamenting right now, and even for those who don't find themselves in a season of suffering or lamenting, because someone you know needs to hear the truth in this book, and maybe someday the person who needs this message might be you.

Lastly, as you read this book you will feel drawn into Esther's world that led to her first lament and each lament after, your heart will ache with hers as she vulnerably and honestly writes about her story, you'll find yourself experiencing freedom and healing right from the first chapter as she exposes the lies we believe and the damage they do to us and as she continues to share biblical truth, and although there are moments where the topic at hand might feel heavy, as you flip each page, you will feel lighter and lighter as you see the beauty and hope in how lamenting brings into an intimacy with God and can make our brokenness purposeful and beautiful.

When we don't lament, we find ourselves faking fine. When we find ourselves faking fine, we find ourselves missing out on healing from our pain and on the abundant life God calls us to. If you want permission to lament, if you want to stop faking fine, if you want healing, if you want an abundant life, read Esther's book, God will use it to help you get there. It is a beautiful, powerful, life-changing read.

I cannot say enough good things about this book -- it was exactly the book I needed to read in this season of my life where I've been struggling with so many feelings of depression and anxiety. It was a beautifully written book, and Esther's story is INCREDIBLE. It's heart-wrenching, but she tells it in a way that brings so much glory to God and doesn't dwell on the pain at all. I so appreciated her focus on lament, and how essential it is for us to truly lament in our faith. I have never read a book that talked about it so well, and in such an encouraging way. This book is truly a gift, and I will be sharing it with friends, because it's such a balm to weary souls. Five stars for this one.

Lament. It is an important concept that the Christian needs to understand. Esther Fleece explains it well in this title. She uses her wealth of personal stories to practically explain what the art of lament looks like.

She has lived a hard story but her dependence and love for the Lord is encouraging and evident to the reader. I was encouraged by watching the process of growth in grace work in her life. It is eye-opening when you can see theology walked out practically.

This takes a good look at a theology of suffering and the proper response of lamenting. I believe this would be helpful for others to understand. Lament is a lost art that many neglect to this day. There needs to be more stories that show others how to live this. Living out lament truly sets the sufferer free in Christ.

I received a copy of this book free of charge from the publisher for the purpose of an honest review.

Many feel they need to fake feeling fine at church. Fleece says it's time to set aside that performance. She gives us permission to grieve and lament, something often deliberately missing from our Christian life. Rather than hiding our pain, we have “permission to feel it all and express it honestly to God through prayer.” (41)

Fleece shares her own story with the aim of encouraging us to be honest in our story too. Being told to “suck it up” at a young age, she did that and was successful at faking fine. She climbed the corporate ladder. At age 30, however, she walked away from it all and spent two years facing her relationship with God. Having hit rock bottom, she discovered lament. “We can lament something in the past to receive healing in the present.” (59)

I am impressed with Fleece's book. She shows that thinking we should have a “fine” life is really unbiblical. It is “an unrealistic expectation that ended up making me feel disengaged from God and disappointed in Him,” she writes. (34) God wants to hear about our pain.

I like Fleece sharing the difficulty of making herself vulnerable to God, being unsure of His thoughts toward her. She thought He might be withholding good things from her. Her honesty is amazing. “I've gone through times,” she writes, “when it seemed as if God's plans were not prospering me at all; in fact, it felt like they were hurting me.” (100)

I highly recommend this book to anyone ready to quite faking it, quit pretending that all is fine. You'll get great encouragement by instruction and by example. I also recommend this book to church leaders. Fleece encourages leaders to make time for lament in church services, noting it is the pathway to real healing.

Here are a few quotes to give the idea of the depth of Fleece's book.
“When we fake fine, we fake our way out of authentic relationship with God, others, and ourselves.” (37)
“The greatest gift that has come from my suffering is a deeper understanding of the character of God and His thoughts toward me.” (103)
“Lament gives us the language to name the weight of our own sins and the wounds from others, so we might look to Jesus to transform our hearts.” (170)

I received a complimentary copy of this book through Icon Media. My comments are an independent and honest review.

In No More Faking Fine, Esther Fleece explains the meaning of lamenting and why our souls need these words of lament. Hardships and pain are part of this life. Yet often when we are walking through a hard season, we fake we are fine instead of letting others see our pain and brokenness. No More Faking Fine gives us the permission to come as we are, to voice our hurts, knowing that we will be met by the One who loves us and understands us, right where we are.

I started reading this book while walking through a season of heartbreak, and this message came just at the right time. This book is full of my underlinings, and that is saying a lot. The permission to lament, to come to God with our hurts and brokenness -- is one that breathed life into my soul. How we grieve is related to how we heal, and it is important for us to know that we can and should walk through the valley of sorrow when it comes our way. The way Esther Fleece gives us the Scriptures and examples to do this is so helpful. Truly, weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

I would certainly recommend this book to anyone walking through a hard, painful season right now, as this book makes for a great companion in seasons like that. But honestly, I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone, as we go through seasons of hardships and sorrows or then we know someone who is currently in a season like that.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are entirely my own.

This book! I cannot say enough about what an instrument it is to the hurting. Esther's authenticity really resonated with me and after reading this book I am allowing myself to truly grieve. I lost my dad last year and was trying to keep myself busy to not truly "feel" the pain. After reading this book, I am allowing myself to grieve while claiming God's promises for me. God doesn't promise us an easy life. I have had to let go of the idea of "if I do x,y, and z, God will do a, b, and c for me." It doesn't always work that way and Esther's words were like a balm to my hurting heart. I thank God that she was obedient and wrote this book. If you are struggling with a loss, whether it's through death, a dream that died, or a failed marriage, read this book. It will help you so much.

I loved this book!! Thank you, Esther, for having the courage to write this much-needed book for our time.
Going into reading this I didn't think faking fine was something I struggled with. Boy was I wrong! This book goes deeper and beyond faking fine with others. Do you ever fake fine with God in your prayer life? Do you tend to pray as you would like to be rather than giving God who you are now? He so longs to comfort us and walk closely with us through our pain. Through that, our relationship is built and strengthened. By allowing myself to not minimize my pain and allowing myself to be weak and vulnerable with God, at have experienced the peace that passes all understanding.
Esther also gives us the permission from God to enter His rest and step back a bit from a crazy busy life in order to process our pain and heal properly. Full of Scripture, authentic and real. This is a book we all need to read. Because who hasn't been through pain in this life? Learn with Esther how God's plan is to comfort you and heal you through it!

While the purpose of the book is well intended, a lot of the theological deductions and therapeutic conclusions are based on pop psychology with the support from Bible passages taken out of context and personal anecdotes. Also there aren't anything new here.. mostly cliches

I struggled reading this. Not because of the way it was written but because I am stubborn as they get! I like faking fine and I can give you a million reason why it's OK. But it isn't healthy. Not for me my family or others around me. I'm slowly learning through this amazing book what is like to lament to God the one who can do anything. Including heal me. Check it out, even if you don't think you need it.

“How are you doing?”
“Fine.”
Asking someone how they are doing is a very common question and yet so frequently, someone is not fine. In No More Faking Fine by Ester Fleece, she addresses the necessary process of grieving, or lamentation. Without lamenting, faith can be lost. It is easy to move on with life and forget about the sadness or make comparisons to people who might have it worst. Lamenting brings everyone closer to God, however. This is not a time to be strong. The disciples lamented. Jesus lamented. Jesus even questioned God when on the cross. It is ok to question God. God wants our pain in order to heal us and move on with life.

Ester Fleece presents a strong message about lamenting and how good it is for the body in order to heal and then move on with life. The author suffered from depression herself and gives stories of her life and examples of when she tried to be strong and when she finally needed to just relax and lament. There are tough times in life. It is not karma from God. God is needed during the lamenting process and then afterwards when there is a feeling of peace that comes from accepting and processing life’s tough moments.
I was provided a free copy of this book from Book Look Bloggers.

This is a beautiful, vulnerable book coming from an author who does not claim to have it all figured out, but claims to be in the healing process. Esther Fleece shares her heartbreaking journey from an abusive childhood into an adulthood where God has led her to process the pain in His presence. We all have hurts in our lives, some of us more severe than others. Actually LOOKING at these hurts and surrendering them before God is where true healing and freedom can begin. Thank you, Esther Fleece, for writing this book, a road map of sorts, to guide us in our own pathway to God through lamenting our hurt. Esther doesn't leave us stuck in our pain, but models a method (explicitly based on scripture) in which to place these hurts before God. She releases us from guilt and shame over how long our process may be taking, and guides her readers right back to the healing presence of Jesus. I highly recommend this book to anyone processing through hurts in her life.

I first saw this book in our Christian bookstore that was going out of business. The title caught my attention. I looked at it from afar and walked away. I was drawn back to the bookshelf it was on. I read the back cover and thought, "Hmmm....." as I had that pounding in my heart and throat. I walked away. The Holy Spirit drew me back a third time and I knew that the Lord was calling me to buy this book. And besides it was on sale because the store was going out of business. I began reading the book immediately and I couldn't put it down. I have so many notes written in the margins and things underlined; it's ridiculous. I would also take pictures of some of the pages and text them to friends who were journeying with me in my darkness. Esther's words were piercing my soul. I was learning an entirely new way of praying. Slowly, as I was reading, I was noticing that I was letting go of the chains that were holding me back. Chains that were placed on me by others but that I was tightening myself. Chains that I had placed on myself over the years. I then watched the video interviews and clips of videos around the book. I felt like I had a special connect with Esther as if she were telling my story though through different circumstances. I'm so grateful that I listened to the Holy Spirit and that I'm learning that it's okay to lament and that I should lament. God wants my laments. This girl is slowly but surely learning not to fake fine anymore. Thank you so much Esther for writing this book. Thank you for listening to the Lord in your life. Thank you for not giving up and persevering. God bless you!

The author triumphing over all the obstacles faced and staying with God in this journey is amazingly encouraging. It is wonderful to see hope and perseverance win out. I didn't feel there were enough on how I could live out this message. It is inspiring rather than transformational for me, it has a huge amount of hope to give to those who have been abused and are trying to work through how to react, those who have reacted but are now disconnected from the world and those still in the sphere of abuse.

Esther Fleece does an amazing job of weaving Scripture and her own painful story of abuse to illustrate what lament truly is and can be to heal the wounds of our past and present lives. I had not heard this type of teaching put in this way before. The four laments to bring to God- Why? How long? Forgive me? Don't forget me? Hit home as I know I have brought those questions to God at different stages of my life but not quite in this way nor at this level of honesty. This book encouraged me to be more intentional now and process my pain with God in a more authentic manner so that He can heal the baggage. I highly recommend this book. It is one to read over and over again.

No More Faking Fine was an excellent and much needed book. Drop the fake, stop the ignoring and minimizing pain, and allow yourself to lament.
I did have a little trouble getting into the book and sometimes found it repetitive, it was still an excellent book. Whether you have gone through terrible circumstances or minor trials it is a useful book that I would encourage anyone to read.

Esther Fleece weaves her personal story with spiritual truth and the outcome is a beautiful work that touched my heart and stretched my thinking. She describes, with grace and transparency, her heartbreaking childhood and how she worked unsuccessfully to overcome her wounded past by convincing herself and others that "all is fine". She describes how God showed her He only wanted her honesty ..... He knows our wounds and He can handle them. It's a story of healing and redemption and release! A story we all need to hear. So thankful for this book. You won't be disappointed.

In a culture that lives in the tension of individuality while craving community, identity crises seem to be at an all time high. We've lost a sense of self by putting on a facade to look like we are put together, strong, and independent people. However, antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are prescribed in record numbers because everyone is covering up the suffering inside.

Esther's words give the reader permission to quit suffering in silence and to live in authentic relationship with one's self, with those around them, and with God. She introduces you to the God who wants to hear and respond to your cries. And she gives you a framework and language that will show you how.

I found this book gave me a deeper understanding of lamenting and it helped me see lamenting in a new way. Our hearts get broken or we feel hear pain for many reasons, some are much deeper than others. All of our hurts should be brought before God; lamented. There is no peace or glory in stuffing them or pretending they aren't there.
I thank Esther for sharing her story. "Faking Fine" is the false world all around us. Sad. I help women leaders find and live true to their authentic selves. This book has been very helpful.

In a world full of edited social media perfections, this book is a breath of fresh air! For so long Christians have seemed to be told that because we love Jesus we need to have joy in everything no matter what. But what Esther shows us is that while we will always have our joy in Jesus, during our painful, difficult seasons of life, we don't have to fake fine. We can have our joy in Jesus and still cry out to Him from the broken pieces of our hearts. In fact, if we want Him to heal our hearts fully, that is a step that CAN NOT be skipped over. Esther writes her story in the most beautiful honest, raw, real way possible. No matter what your story, you will relate to her in some way.

This book was quite interesting to me.

I agree that many people, even Christians can't handle laments. Most of us are silenced and reduced to "faking fine." No one really wants to know anything about the negative. But everyone seems to be a counselor and offers advice that's unwanted and unneeded.

I couldn't relate to the author's neverending supply of supportive friends who helped her all along the way with her issues. I found myself wanting to feel more sorry for her lack of relationship with her family, but I had some questions. She left her brother out of her story almost altogether. How did he react to events?

I couldn't relate to the somewhat shallow craving for shopping and closets full of shoes. I don't lament things. I'm not into prosperity gospel. And who gets to go on a long retreat to Alaska to heal? Almost none of us.

I think I was hoping for more of a workbook than a personal account. The book touches on a lot of good points about biblical laments in Psalms, Job, Lamentations. Some of the stories became repetitive and I think it could have been condensed a bit.

The book is a good commentary of realizing that many of us are not "just fine."

There is so much pressure to always act like everything is fine and stay positive even when bad things happen. What I liked about this book is that it gets real about grief and lament and how important that is to the healing process. And it's Biblical!

This book is a wonderful perspective and reminder to us that Our God is always at work in our lives. Weither is be in good times or difficult we are reminded through His word to learn to imbrase where we are at in our walk and allow ourselves to go through and not run from. Esther does an excellent job Bible referencing. Her personal journey gives a great example. Well word reading.

This book is seriously life changing for me. I have felt that I had to fake that I'm fine, when I not. This has really been true for me as struggle with the hardships of life that bring pain and suffering.

As we go through life's hardships, how many of us try and hide the fact that we aren't fine? In fact, we're falling apart but we don't think anyone wants to know or we don't want to show our true pain. It's easier to pretend, we tell ourselves, but it really isn't.

I really love how real and honest Esther is in this book. Page after page in my book is highlighted because I could relate so completely with how she felt and what she shared. The Biblical truths she shares that got her through her own pain helped me so much to realize that God is truly with us and cares about us in our pain. We need to let Him in, though, to meet us in every aspect of our life. We have to realize that He wants to be a part of it all.

To be authentic with others and with God can be a frightening thought but the blessings of doing so will far outweigh the downfall. We will be much more happy and at peace when we are authentic instead of faking the fine. Our faith will be strengthened and, hopefully, our relationships will be deeper.

I really loved this book. I have highlighted and made notes in this book because it spoke so deeply to my heart. I am definitely keeping this book where I can re-read it or refer to it because there is so much wonderful truth and help in it. I highly recommend this book and give it 5 out of 5 stars

*This book was provided to me for my honest review by the author

Esther opens her story to us and vulnerably shares her journey in order to help us discover important Biblical truths. She guides us through the life-giving, though uncomfortable at first, language of lament so we can go deeper in intimacy with God and discover healing in Him. Her honesty is impactful and one great lesson anyone can learn from this book is how to speak to those who are suffering and in pain. This perspective, alone, is extremely valuable! Great book.

No More Faking Fine book is amazing. I was looking for something to do with our ladies church small group and this was perfect. The ladies and I have enjoyed this book so much. There were so many areas in my life that God used this book to minister to us. That we don't have to pretend anymore. He wants us to bring our Laments to him. Nowadays church doesn't speak on this topic. So it was nice to hear Esther talk about it. I love how transparent she was. She has blessed my life with this book. I pray that God will continue to use her.
This would be great if she also had a video to go along with each chapter. I give it 5 stars and if I could would give it more. Enjoy!

Esther Fleece's story of tribulation and heartache unveils a need that many of us often suppress. This is the need to acknowledge our sufferings and truly lament. Her personal story is a sobering reminder that though many of us put on the appearance of being "fine," we are, in fact, not fine at all. The Lord wants our sad, He wants our laments, and He wants to bring healing into our lives - even into the parts we pretend don't need healing. Esther offers practical steps and a thought-provoking approach to "ending the pretending" and challenges readers to stop faking fine and allow the Lord to piece together their hearts and lives.

Words cannot describe the honest truth that's in this book. We live in a selfie world full of flawless filters, however the One who created us knows the number of hairs on our heads, and most certainly knows we're not fine. Lamenting is a lost word in today's vernacular but Esther's words encourage even the most downhearted to embrace the lamenting season. This book brought healing and purpose to a life I have gotten very good at faking. A must read for all people who are tired of faking fine and seriously about full living!