An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman (The Every Man Series)

I ordered Every Man's Marriage, but instead I received Every Woman's Desire. I didn't realize it until I listened to the first cd. It was delivered very quick and my return was also handled well. Unfortunately, I was unable to get Every Man's Marriage at the price I originally ordered it for, so I didn't buy it.

A friend suggested we study this together since it was said to be a good book. However, Stoeker greatly miss applies submission in the marriage relationship and seems to interchange it with love and sacrifice. He even mixes it up with other types of submission relationships. Many concepts in the book are good, unfortunately, "submission" to one's wife is his basic premiss of a good marriage relationship. This is unbiblical, making the the whole book stand on a very shaky foundation. So I would not recommend this as a book grounded in biblical truth.

My friend and both of our wives agree that this book is off base. So we did not "submit" to the "essence" of this book.

Anyone that suggests this book implies that men are Neanderthals (which seems to be the popular word to use in these reviews) needs to read the book, because clearly they didn't do so.

This book is extraordinarily useful for stepping back and reexamining your own role in your marriage and assessing where you are as a servant leader. It starts out with some things that seemed pretty obvious to me, but they are probably not obvious to some, so I wouldn't say it's useless information.

As you get deeper into the text, it definitely gets juicier. You soon find yourself recognizing that you may be reflected in some of these situations after all. This book is useful for failing marriages just as much as it is for newly beginning ones. I chose to read this book early on to prevent any problems before they started. It's been very helpful when used as a foundation on which to build a solid view of marriage, considering it gives a better picture of the Biblical approach to a marriage. Sometimes we need to reexamine our views on what is and what is not a scripturally sound viewpoint. This book seeks to do just that, and it does it very well.

This is the best book, outside of the Bible, that I have ever read. That said, this book is not for everyone. I see a number of people that gave it low marks and I can understand their perspective.

Criteria for evaluating whether this book is for you:

1) You must be a Christian. There are many Christian themes and Biblical references. If you're not a fan of the Bible, then those probably won't have the same impact

2) You must be a male. It's better to remove the expectations from women - guys have a hard enough time figuring this out. Women may not like how they're positioned as someone that should be wooed and cared for, but it's a great reminder for how men should approach their spouses. Men will, hopefully, integrate the information and take the correct approach in accordance with their spouse's personality.

This book helps men to understand how to approach relationships properly. Too often men are concerned with themselves alone and don't give the proper consideration for their spouses. I never thought I had a problem in this department, but when you consider God's standard, not Man's standard, you realize a whole different level of happiness and joy in your marriage.

Last year may have been the roughest of my ten year marriage. As a result of my application of the principles in this book, this eleventh year is turning out to be our best yet. Our relationship resembles the emotions and romance of our courting days, back when we made the decision to commit to each other for the rest of our lives. This book provides the tools to resist living like two friends under a single roof, but to live as two lovers that are focused on each other's needs.

If you meet the eligibility criteria, this is the best $10 you'll ever spend.

This book is amazing. Simply put. I could go on explaining every detail about it but it boils down to a few simple points. Marriage is about mutual submission and even in mutual submission, leadership can still be present. It takes leadership to be the bigger person when every fiber of your being is telling you to yell back or use unloving words. This book is very much about telling men like me to get over ourselves and be the person to lead our marriage to the way God intended it to be. This can primarily be accomplished by serving your wife joyfully and willingly. In mutual submission, a spouse will consider the other spouse's thoughts and concerns like his/her own and give them his/her full attention and heart. Anyone's marriage will only change if one of them is willing to serve God no matter what the other spouse does and in order to serve God. That spouse needs to love and respect his/her spouse unconditionally even when they don't deserve it and lets things slide even when it seems illogical to do so. It is not easy to fully grasp what the concept is of mutual submission and leadership and how they go together but this book is great and really breaks that topic down well. This book tells how serving our spouse with no strings attached is one of the primary ways to restore love in a marriage. Even if you have a great marriage, I would still recommend this book to anyone. I got more out of this book than any other marriage book I have read to date.

I started reading this book thinking it was primarily directed only to "Neanderthal" Christian men who don't have a heart or a brain when it comes to interaction with their wives! The pace does begin slowly, but in hindsight this pace would be helpful to those men who need to start at square one in their relationships. There is much here however, that will refine happily-married Christian men who have been living with contented spouses for years.
The author starts by describing how marriages grow cold. He then progresses to offer his instructions on how to return the warm glow to the grey embers. The bulk of the book focuses on the concept of being a bondservant to one's wife, both in heart and in mind. This concept really makes the book, and the author's exposition of it is well worth the purchase price. The volume concludes with a description of how submitting to one's wife, and her needs, can totally revive and rejuvenate an ailing marriage.
I recommend this book to all Christian married men, regardless of the strength or the longevity of their marriages. After all, none of us as husbands have arrived! Get it, read it, practice it, and see the difference!

I have currently been dating my girlfriend for over 4 months. Having made dating mistakes in the past i've made sure i've committed this relationship fully to God, making Him the center of everything. And it's been such a blessing and learning experience. I bought this book along with other books on relationships. I read this soon after i read "every man's battle" which i highly recommend as well (it expands on some of the things touched upon in Every Man's Marriage). This book drove home a lesson that God has been teaching me throughout my new relationship, which is to grow a servant's heart. Each woman wants one thing in life, and that is to be loved and know they are loved by their husband. How do they feel loved? By us consciously showing it through our actions.

For a guy, it makes total sense to just say "i love you" and expect our mates to know we mean it. I've learned time and time again that those words are not enough. It's up to the man to serve his wife and to submit all he is to making her know that she is loved and they are one. If she knows this, she will return her respect and submit to your leadership in the relationship. Romans 14:13-23 is the bedrock to this whole idea and this book. If we put a stumbling block in the way of our wives feeling at one with us, we are not acting in love. We are to love them as Christ loves the church, in essence, lay down our lives for them.

this book was great. and has lots of examples of other men's triumphs and failings we can all relate to. I highly recommend this book as a learning tool and a challenge to every man to live life devoted to God and our mates.

I really enjoyed digesting this literature. It was simply life changing. I look forward to more publications from this author.

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Bought this book for my husband and I look through it just to check it out. And I must say very good book but its more like a study guide work book. But very helpful. Especially if u are a man of god.

Read this with an open heart and open mind. Unless you are a man who is serious about your sexual sin. I dont think its for you. Read it if you are serious about it and really want to take it seriously. It may change you and the way you think about other women.

This book could not have been more true about how I was acting. This opened my eyes to a whole new world and showed me the error of my ways in so many areas. I thank the authors for writing this book and allowing me to get these insights and understanding. This has allowed me to make adjustments in my mind set and I know that my future will be better with my spouse if we reconcile or with who ever the Lord blesses me with.

A good book for Christian men, perhaps for couples to read together. I felt that while most of the front chapters outlined and emphasized the need for men to "submit" for the sake of oneness in marriage, the latter chapter emphasized too much on oneness in sex. It became like we men are doing all these to achieve oneness in marriage so that we can have blissful sex. Also, the 2nd last chapter of the "letter to women" talked about men's need for sex again. Shouldn't Christian men have more than just sex in their minds?

I agree with some of the reviewers (especially that 1, 2-stars reviewers) that the book may have given a stereotypical view of women, ie, they are demure, submissive, "need men", etc. I can see why they are upset, but the authors are painting a picture of what God intended for men and women to be... ie, Men to love their women, and women submit to their men.

With every chapter in this book I discovered a new way that I had been trampling my wife's needs. In doing so I was not only preventing us from gaining 'oneness' but I was creating a distance that grew throughout our marraige.

I may have done irrepairable damage to my marraige through my misgivings and the behaviour that accompanied it.

The sooner you read this book, and start applying its principles, the better off YOUR marraige will be.

I found this book thought provoking. I think that married people will find that these writer cut to the chase and tell you what the Bible says about the standards of your relationship. This is the sequel to Every Man's Battle which is very good for the guys.

What an encouraging book this was for me. I feel that the authors truly understand a woman's desire for intimacy in a marriage. This is a fresh approach towards that goal and I have found it to be very promising. Most paths towards intimacy come up short - and some can even be damaging (like the "tie-breaker" model of Biblical submission). There were times while I was reading this book when I began to cry - feeling that, at last, someone understands.

This is an excellent book for every couple. Even if you are not a christian it will help you an awful lot, as it explains both sides of the coin: a man's point of view regarding what they look for in marriage (peace) and what every woman desires inher marriage (oneness).

It is truly amazing if you can read it with your partner, as men find it an easy read with practical examples of how to be the man their woman desires.

Enjoy!

Why would a "Christian" author defend a man to look at women in bikinis?
This aspect of the book is rotten. I am throwing mine in the garbage. If a man truly loves God, he will seek the mind of Christ and refuse to do something that he knows offends his wife!

I honestly feel that this book is written for men who don't know how to treat women or don't comprehend the enormity of what marriage is with a woman. If you were not taught what it is to respect woman or yourself for that matter then yes this book could be very helpful to you. However, for those men who view their wives as their sole source of sexual gratification then you don't need to read this book.

One of my biggest issue with this book were the examples it gave of men and their sexual exploits. It talked uses examples of men masterbating to their kid-sister-in-law while she was sleeping in the room. Another youth pastor was having sex with an underaged member of his youth group. Other examples of numerous men addicted to pornography. What if you are not addicted to pornography or sleeping around?

After a considerable amount of prayer I feel that this book fails to identify the man in my position. I am by no means attempting to take a holier than thou attitude, trust me the Lord has humbled me time and time again but what if the woman in my life is (in my eyes) truly the prettiest thing around. No one else compares for a second. I was raised by a wonderful mother who taught me how to respect a woman and yourself. As I have become a christian I have learned how my actions are meant to respect God above all others. This book is not for the man who is totally in love with his wife. It is for a man who needs to have the Lord show him the the results of his actions.

Furthermore - masterbation is not a sin. No you should not masterbate to thoughts of gay men or prostitutes as some of the examples in this book did. It claims that masterbation is a form of idolatry. I disagree. I am a grown adult christian man and when I have partaken in this act I have lifted it up to God to show me if He views it as just. He has shown me that what turns me on the most is the thought of my future wife, whoever she is. I imagine a wedding dress and two wedding rings touching one another and the Lord in delight. To some this may be idolatry. But how can it be idolatry when those thoughts that gratify you are pleasing to God?

Plus this book instructs single men not to masterbate. So where will all of that testosterone and emotion go? According to this book nocturnal emission will take care of it. Since professional boxers and athletes who rely on ferocity and aggression have a common practice of no sex or masterbation prior to an event you can see what will happen to you if you don't masterbate. I prayed and committed days to not doing this and I was ready to rip through a wall. After much prayer I felt God leading me to the realization I explained above. For a good christian argument in favor of masterbation I suggest - Herbert J. Miles - Sexual Understanding Before Marriage & James Dobson, chairman of the board of Focus on the Family.

After reading this book a thought came to mind.Does the
writer actually believe women are this weak?In need of
constant gift giving and attention?If so,then us women
have a long way to go and much to change in our
what the writer believes is innate female psychological
make up.And why is every behavior seen as innate or
hard wired? Our society perpetuates the man on the white
horse coming to rescue the helpless woman.This is
especially true among Christian men who will safe a
woman in order to feel 'more manly'.There has got to be
more to a relationship than games and sterotypes.
What? Women only want sex if we are slowly warmed up all
day?Well it's the feeling I got from the book.Also I got this
sick feeling that no matter how much self esteem and confidence
I have,a Christian men will always think of me as the
'little woman'.Men are sterotyped as romantic dufuses while women as endless bottomless pits of love hunger.Sad!
BR>Any man who thinks he has to do things for a woman to get her to
do something for him is a manipulator.Where is equal share and
care? Not found here!

I never would have bought this book, but I wanted to see what men thought I desired. I was appalled by the really poor theology (you're more spiritual if you have more knowledge? what???!!) and the suggestions that in order to be the spiritual leader in his home, a man had to be "better" than his wife at any number of things. It's not that I'm against the particular things he's supposed to be BEST at--it's that this is a really harmful category with which to go about trying to become the "leader." Women don't want to be in a one-down position; that's humiliating, but that's what the author is suggesting when he uses this language. I emailed the authors about this, and one of them was appallingly rude in his response. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone.

The book tells what women want in a very sterotypical fashion.

A woman is "supposed" to want headship in the home from the

man,be told what to do and when to do it,be romanced,loved as

though women are all love junkies,protected to death and

protected from the realities of life.How can any woman grow as

a human being in such an environment!The woman is supposed to

wait passively while the man romances her.No,I don't need a man

to lay down his life for me.I can slay my own dragons thank you!!The evangelicals are *hell* bent on making women look like

sappy love junkies so the big strong christian man can come

and rescue her,,,,,,,,,not!!!!!

Bought this book for my husband and I look through it just to check it out. And I must say very good book but its more like a study guide work book. But very helpful. Especially if u are a man of god.