And Other Four-Letter Words - A Memoir of Love

I am a regular visitor to Ausiello's site 'TVLine.com', and this book really endeared me to him. He shares openly and honestly about his life and major events in it. And he does it in a way that is funny, witty, and then very poignant. I felt enriched after reading it, and grateful that Mr. Ausiello was willing to share his life in such an intimate way with us.

I am a regular visitor to Ausiello's site 'TVLine.com', and this book really endeared me to him. He shares openly and honestly about his life and major events in it. And he does it in a way that is funny, witty, and then very poignant. I felt enriched after reading it, and grateful that Mr. Ausiello was willing to share his life in such an intimate way with us.

Books in the biography/memoir genre are not my typical "go to" when picking a book out to read. In fact, the only ones I've ever read have always been ones recommended to me by friends. I recently joined a book club, and this was the selected title for the month, so that's why I read this. I had absolutely no idea who the author or the person the book was written about was, before reading the book. So with that all being said, take my opinion about it as a truly unbiased opinion.

The book itself wasn't bad. I really enjoyed the openness and honesty that the author told his love story. I say "love story" because that's really what I walked away feeling like this book was largely about. Yes, it is also about his partner/husband being diagnosed with cancer and their journey through this together, but it was also a history of their relationship and how it grew/changed over the years. I also really enjoyed his writing style. He writes as if you and him were sitting in a bar having drinks together and he was just sharing the story of him and Kit to you. So it was very easy and quick to read. I even giggled at times, because they (the author & his husband) have dark senses of humor, which I love.

Would I recommend this book? Probably only to someone who just really LOVES reading biography/memoir type of books, and even then...I'm not really sure if I would or not. Here's why: first off, their love story isn't really all that different than any other person's love story out there. 2 people, both with some baggage, some skeletons in the closet, a lot of insecurities, etc., meet...fall in love in this crazy messed up world...have ups and downs just like every relationship...work through them..but unfortunately, they don't get the happily ever after they want because one of them dies way too soon. Except for the fact that I guess both the author & his husband are somewhat slightly "famous", their relationship isn't anything phenomenal or special by any means, except to them I'm sure.

The other thing that leaves me feeling meh about this book, and probably the only thing I can be accused of being biased about, is...he's not the only person that's lost a loved one, and his husband isn't the first person to ever die of cancer. There! I said it! Let the haters hate me now. Here's the thing...I am a pediatric oncology & bone marrow transplant nurse. I see children, teenagers and young adults, on a daily basis, fighting for their lives too. The fact that his husband died in his 40's, after he grew up to be an adult, have an amazing career (from the sounds of it in the book), and meet the love of his life...I have a hard time sympathizing with this, when I see little people who will NEVER make it to adulthood, have a career or meet the love of their lives. I'm not heartless, because I hate that Kit died to this horrible disease. I hate that anyone dies from cancer, period. But I just didn't feel like there was anything really worthy of writing a book about, in regards to the author & his husband's story. Perhaps, it helped him heal, writing all of this and telling it, I don't know...I probably just sound like a jerk now anyways so I'll shut up. lol

One thing I will add though is that if you HAVE lost someone to cancer or even currently going through something similar with a loved one, you probably won't want to read this book. It'll probably hit too close to home for you, because as I said earlier, it is very open, honest and candid about dealing with this illness, and it ain't pretty!

Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Other Four-Letter Words I like doing these reviews because I depend on them to help me in making choices. I have to say when I first heard of this book I rushed to purchased. It was not worth it and I feel guilty saying such a harsh thing given this is memoriar in non-fiction and the is the story of two men who fall in love and one tragically dies way to early in life by a rare disease. The title alone held promise for me but once the spine of the book is cracked it is a dull read (this does not mean the situation is not tragic and let me express my deepest sympathies to to Mr.Ausiello. However, is this bright a well written recounting of the agony of the loss of husband? It is rather dry much more like Bill Clinton's diaries.

There are far better memories for anyone to read and Spoiler Alter: The Hero DIes lands sadly and firmly on the bottom of any list I can think of.today.

Let me be transparent about my inherent biases. I was suddenly left a widower after 26 years, 11 months, and 3 weeks with my late partner who became my husband the day it became legal to wed in Massachusetts. I practice medicine and death is all too comfortable around me. I have also published two novels (not memoirs) and a third is cooking slowly in the ether of my writing process.

Given Mr. Ausiello's background in journalism I was excepting more - MUCH MORE - this did not happen.

Richard S Ferri PhD NP CARN-AP FAAN
Medical Practice: Addiction Medicine - integrative
Author, Published novelist; produced playwright, NPR commentator
PASSION: understanding that addiction medicine cannot be practiced by prescribing pills alone. Pills are pills. Recovery takes building muscle, finding strength, and being honest. Certified personal trainer; adding muscle and all that goes with it is the essential key to recovery from addictive diseases.

The breezy writing style feels greatly inappropriate for the serious, tragic subject matter. Ausiello has not met a cliche or slang expression that he does not like so he uses them all. What he went through as his partner suffered from cancer and then died is worthy of a book but not the way this is written. The final chapter is perplexing and unnecessary.

Entertainment reporter Michael Ausiello has enjoyed immense success in his professional life, progressing from writing at a soaps magazine to Entertainment Weekly and TV Guide to his current job as co-founder at TVLine.com. Ausiello is well-known for his snarky and knowledgeable insights about pop culture and TV. But while Ausiello's career was taking off, he was going through immense personal anguish: the death of his husband, Kit, from neuroendrocrine cancer in early 2015. Ausiello's memoir catalogues meeting Kit, thirteen years before his death, and also describes the heartbreaking journey of losing him to cancer--with much of the trademark wit and humor we see in many of entertainment posts.

I don't know what possessed me to request this book. I love Ausiello, his reporting, and his columns, yes, but how I thought I'd come out unscathed from an incredibly sad memoir about a lovely gay man losing his beloved husband to cancer... I don't know. Sure, parts of this memoir are funny and snarky, but much of it is just heartbreaking and gut-wrenching. Good grief. There's no real equivalent of reading about a man openly and honestly telling you about losing a great love of his life.

Ausiello's memoir goes back in forth in time. While most of the book focuses on the present-day: learning about Kit's shocking diagnosis, how that affects couple, and ultimately leading up to his death. Still, he also goes back to when the two met, began to date, and fall in love. There's a sweetness to reading about young Kit and Mike, for sure. The early parts of the memoir very much remind me of reading pieces of someone's journal. Some of the beginning parts were a bit of a struggle for me, as you get bogged down in so much detail: what they ate, where they went, where they walked, who called who, etc. That was a little excruciating at times, but as I said, there was also a sweetness and tenderness to it. It just seemed like sometimes there was a little too much oversharing--details and moments that weren't necessarily relevant to the overall story. A little too much telling versus showing, especially in the first half or so of the book.

However, as it continues, it either improves or I became more used to the style. You become really caught up in Kit and Mike's relationship journey. It's painful and sad to read, but there are definitely humorous parts interspersed within as well (thank goodness). Ausiello appears to be brutally honest in his portrayal of everything--the ups and downs of their relationship, the cancer and its toll on Kit (and Mike), and more. What we're left with is a heartbreaking, poignant tale, with a reminder to truly live life to the fullest, as you really never know what comes next.

Overall, despite a slow (detailed) start, this is a lovely tribute to Mike and Kit's love and life together. It's heartbreaking and touching and a beautiful ode to his husband. My heart goes out to Ausiello, but after reading Kit and Mike's story, you'll be left grateful for the time the two had together. We should all be so lucky.

Few memoirs balance dark, snarky humor with devastating, heart-wrenching candor as well as Michael Ausiello's SPOILER ALERT: THE HERO DIES. This loving but clear-eyed chronicle of his 14-year relationship with his husband, Kit, centers on their final year together after Kit is diagnosed with a rare, aggressive neuroendocrine cancer.

On the day the couple wed at City Hall, they get the shattering news that Kit's cancer is Stage 4 and his life expectancy is about a year. "Was this what an out-of-body experience was like?" writes Ausiello. "Because I suddenly felt as if I were looking down on someone else's apocalypse." Kit's chemotherapy starts three days later. Soon the duo is coping with the new realities of living with a terminal illness and navigating conflicting medical opinions, medical mishaps, surgeries, pain management, remissions and slow decline. Woven between the memoir's main thread--the duo's epic cancer battle--are flashbacks to the couple's courtship, vacations, struggles, infidelities, therapy and unshakable devotion. The chapter detailing Kit's final days packs such an emotional punch because Ausiello has made readers fall in love with Kit, their relationship and their extended family and friends.

Ausiello, founder and editor-in-chief of TVLine.com, has written a remarkable, perceptive, poignant and openhearted memoir about the fragility of relationships and health--and the hidden strength people find during hard times. SPOILER ALERT: THE HERO DIES is a haunting and profoundly sad story, but it's brightened by witty writing, comedic interludes and the two charismatic, endearing and appealing heroes at the book's center.

Michael Ausiello's heartfelt, haunting and remarkable memoir recalls his husband's year-long battle with cancer and their 14 years together.

I’ve been following Michael’s career as a pop culture journalist for many years, but I freely admit to not knowing a great deal about his personal life. When I realized Kit was dying, I began to follow Michael’s posts more closely, and when I saw he was writing this book, I knew I had to read it, no matter how difficult the journey.

This is a hard book to read, especially if you’ve lost a loved one to an illness. I doubt you’ll be putting this book down with a smile on your face, but it is ultimately a fulfilling read. Michael is brutally honest about his journey with Kit, their love, Kit’s illness and ultimate passing, in prose that is both eloquent and wrenching.

It isn’t easy to bare your soul and I commend Michael for doing so. It is also an honor to get to know Kit through Michael’s words. While this is a journey I wish neither of them had had to take, I appreciated reading about their life together. Yes, tears were shed, but for me, they were cathartic ones.

Five tearful but thankful stars. While this won’t likely be a reread, I’m very glad to have read it,

Michael Ausiello's partner of 14 years, Christopher "Kit" Cowan, is diagnosed with a particularly virulent form of cancer, and while describing the eleven months from diagnosis to death, Mr. Ausiello takes the reader on a journey through two lives, thirteen years of a love with its ups and downs, and managing to live those lives as fully as possible while facing death.

There is a lot of snark and dark humor here; the couple were unafraid to speak harsh truths in biting and profane terms, and Mr. Ausiello does not hold back on details I'm sure many readers would consider to fall in the range of TMI. Not me. If your voice is one comfortable with talking about loss of control of bodily functions, who tops and bottoms when and how, the size of your partners genitalia, well then, I say go for it. However, I think I would have held back about my Smurf-obsession, but that's just me.

I laughed and I cried and I asked myself, "WHY DID YOU READ THIS? YOU KNOW HOW YOU ARE?" It's not easy. And it's not particularly uplifting. But, if you've watched someone you love, ravaged by disease, die, you will know whether or not sharing someone else's story is for you.

My Facebook friends know I sometimes post reviews of books I have read, mostly because I am always grateful to hear about a good read from one of them. I had the privilege to read an advance copy of this book a few months ago and it was shattering, brilliant, heartbreaking, laugh out loud funny and inspiring all at the same time. It also happened to be incredibly suspenseful-- which is kind of crazy, considering it was a memoir by a friend writing about his experience watching the love of his life go from full blown health to a wildly premature death at 42 in the space of a year-- and I knew most of the story in advance. Before you protest that I have spoiled the plot, you should know that my friend titled his book "Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies, a Memoir of Love, Loss and Other Four Letter Words," so I am not giving away anything that someone stumbling upon the book at Barnes and Noble wouldn't discover before cracking the spine. But this account is so magnificently told, so vividly described, so relatable and hilarious and page-turning and sob-inducing that it really deserves to be read, and to be widely read. It would not surprise me at all to learn that it becomes a best seller, that movie stars jockey for the film rights, and that at the very least it becomes a must-read for anyone facing the fight of their lives, as my friend Michael Ausiello's partner Kit Cowan did back in 2014. For those who don't know him, Mike is a tv columnist who founded TVLine.com and who approaches writing about shows like "Felicity" and "Gilmore Girls" with the same go for the jugular journalistic ferocity Woodward and Bernstein gave the Watergate papers. I get nothing for this endorsement but it's because of how deeply this moved me that I am posting this here and now. Seriously, people, order the book, read it, have a good laugh and a good cry. You won't regret it.

I first found Finding Roger following the loss of my husband to cancer. By chance I found Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies. This book describes accurately what goes on around you when cancer is discovered quite accurately. It also includes the love, frustration, exhaustion, and loss that follows. I have to take issue with other reviewers who are skittish about details or reading about gay men - do some research before you read it, folks. Michael and Kit are real people - as are the family members and friends. It's my impression that these two men loved each other as much as Gary and I did - and the various problems/situations that came up during cancer treatment so mirrored what we experienced that I felt I came to know these guys - and send them a mental hug. Thank you Michael Ausiello for a wonderful book. (PS Your husband passed away on February 5th - which was my late husband's birthday).

From the very title to the synopsis provided, anyone expecting anything other than a heart wrenching, tear-jerking story of love and devotion under the most odious of circumstances is sure to be disappointed. I knew of Ausiello through my devotion to his much missed 'Ausiello Files' column in Entertainment Weekly, so was prepared for liberal doses of 'sassy gay' with the sorrow... and the author doesn't disappoint. It would be churlish and more curmudgeonly that even I am prepared to be to point out any minor flaws, since by and large this memoir delivers the goods.

I became a fan of Michael Ausiello during the years when VERONICA MARS originally aired, looking forward to any rumors and spoilers and scoops he gave about the show. He was funny and snarky and oftentimes far more entertaining than the shows on which he was reporting.

With SPOILER ALERT: THE HERO DIES, Ausiello proves he is still all that and more as his book peels back the veil and gives readers a look into his life and the life of his husband, Christopher "Kit" Cowan, and Kit's battle with -- and death from -- anal cancer. Words like "heartwrenching" and "inspiring" and "brave" come to mind to describe Kit's battle with the cancer, yet there is also plenty of humor, including some TMI moments, and heartbreak as Ausiello exposes the full scope of his life with Cowan from first meeting to boyfriends to husbands.

One gripe I have, however, is the excessive use if the F-bomb and the C-word (not cancer . . . the other C-word). Had the words been used more sparingly, or not at all, through the rest of the book, their usage would have had greater impact in describing the anxiety and frustration and pain the couple experienced following the discovery of the tumors, the cancer diagnosis, and the chemo and radiation.

A recommended read, well worth the time.

I received a copy from Atria Books through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review, and I thank the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the opportunity to review SPOILER ALERT: THE HERO DIES.

i've been reading michael ausiello's work for years. i've followed him from tvguide, to entertainment weekly, to his start up television focused website tvline. it's not just because he is good at getting scoops on my favorite shows, although that is part of it, but also because so often his views on shows meshed with mine. sure, maybe it set up some implicit bias, but when you are reading takes on the entertainment you are consuming you want to find someone who has a similar world view. beyond that, however, is also the fact that he is snarky and funny and good at telling stories. and i kind of love someone who isn't afraid to give away the ending.

i am one of those rare birds who doesn't care about spoilers. nine times out of ten i read the end of books before i'm a quarter of the way through. i still read the whole book, but i like to take surprises out of the equation, for me reading or consuming television isn't about the ending, but about how we get there. in spoiler alert: the hero dies, michael ausiello takes us on a journey from the moment he first met his partner-in-life/future husband, kit cowan to the moment kit succumbs to a rare form of neuroendocrine cancer.

this story was heartbreaking and sad and funny and honest and brutal and just a love letter to kit. there is grief and loss and anger and so much love that your heart feels full and shattered all at the same time. the way michael can put himself, his insecurities, the imperfections that abounded in his relationship, and the immensity of his love for kit out into the world is kind of wonderful. this is a story worth sharing, a love worth witnessing even when it wasn't easy or beautiful or kind. the reality of living with and loving someone who isn't perfect, but is still the only person for you somehow makes the loss more wrenching, absolutely gutting.

this is not just another memoir about cancer. michael is unflinching in his descriptions about the ravages of kit's disease, and certainly it's a big part of the story here. but when i think back on what i read, i'm not thinking about the horrors cancer and the therapies meant to cure it put the body through. i'm thinking about love. in every remembrance, every word he writes about kit, even when he's detailing kit's flaws, you can feel the love michael felt for him. and that's what i took away from this. it doesn't matter that the story ends with kit dying, because he loved michael and michael loved him, and love is all you need.

(n.b.—i'm a total romantic at heart, so there is that. but i think most people would agree with me.)

**spoiler alert: the hero dies will publish on september 12, 2017. i received an advance reader copy courtesy of netgalley/simon & schuster publishing (atria books) in exchange for my honest review.

I’ve never been one for writing reviews, even though I check them for every single item I look at. I write one now for this wonderful book. The depth at which Mr. Ausiello brings you into these moments of Kit and his life is breathtaking, heartbreaking, and life affirming. The love felt between the two echoes strongly through the pages and the way the ending is written so tenderly could melt the coldest of hearts. I’m not usually one given to showing emotion. I’ve cried less that a handful of times over the past decade, but this book resonates with me so closely (my mother passed of cancer is 2006), that all guards fell and I was on that emotional roller coaster that is love and loss. Highly recommended and keep that box of tissues nearby.

Michael Ausiello is technically an excellent writer. He knows how to describe situations so that they come alive for the reader. The Hero Dies is extremely engrossing and yet horrifying as you go down the cancer journey with him and Kit to the inevitable sad end.

What I found rather irritating was the constant overuse of profanity. Yes, I get it. Ausiello is a "hip New Yorker" where he and his city mates frequently sling the "c word", the "f word", the "s word" and so on around as a badge of coolness. He seemed quite proud to relay that in his eulogy of Kit (apparently in front of Kit's grieving parents and family), he announced upfront that the best word he could find to describe Kit was the "C word", and wove it densely into his eulogy. He used the C word about 30 times which was sophomoric and tiresome.

I could have also done without the details of their sex life. Was it really essential to telling the story to let us know who preferred to be "on the bottom" during sexual intercourse and remind us frequently that Kit had a lot of sex toys. Is this really how Ausiello wants Kit and himself to be remembered? There were also ongoing references/discussions around pooping, feces, etc... I get that the guy had a rare form of rectal cancer but the poop stories/nicknames appeared to spring from well before the time that Kit was diagnosed with cancer.

This all said, I admire Ausiello for how well he looked after Kit during his illnes. The dedication and perseverance to ensure that Kit had as pleasant and normal life as possible under the circumstance was astounding and heartbreaking.

Michael Ausiello doesn’t pull any punches with this memoir about losing his husband, the love of his life, to cancer. The two men who met at a dance shortly after 9/11 didn’t have a storybook romance, but that’s not what life, or love, is all about. At times a little glib and prone to name-dropping, Ausiello nevertheless brings to life his complicated, loving relationship with a man who had far too little time on Earth. Worth a read, but keep tissues handy.

From page 1 I was already hooked. I instantly fell in love with Michael and Kit and their love for each other. As one reviewer wrote, this book was both hilarious and devastating and I could not put it down. Just. Read. It.

My knowledge of Michael Ausiello was only related to the days Lost aired and I look for spoilery comments about the show. I read translations of his famous "Ask Ausiello" column because in those days my English wasn't really good. Until picking up this book I didn't know much about the person behind but this change totally after finishing it, because I feel like Micheal shared a bit of his soul in his writing.

The title was what caught my attention and delivers as it promises. We know since the beginning that Kit, Ausiello's husband, has died and sets the mood in a way, because we know what we will find at the end of the book. However, what I wasn't expecting was the many times I laughed and cheered for the couple in my reading.

This books makes you feel like an observer in their relationship, an impartial one that is shown the good and the bad, when they were their best, and when they failed miserably. I really liked this because I didn't feel like the story was sugarcoated because of Kit's death, instead it was true and honest and that in my opinion is the best tribute to his life.

I received a copy through Net Galley in exchange of an honest review.

Michael Ausiello's memoir (consumed in three sittings, breaking only to fend off the accumulation of emotions) WILL make you LAUGH out loud (at the sass, at potty training for cats, and at the wiiiiildly inappropriate), it WILL make you CRY big, wet, ugly tears, and most of all it WILL make you FEEL the instant, crazy and not-always-easy love that he and his cancer-fighting hero of a husband, Kit, had for each other.

Illuminating. Heart-breaking. Inspiring.

Incredibly moving and repeatedly touching..Author Ausiello did and incredible job of journaling the experiences he and his husband went through. I could not put this book down and had to finish it in one reading-it is a riveting account. Despite the serious nature of the situation involved some great laughs are to be had as well. Dont debate-read this book and you won't regret it.

I just finished Spoiler Alert. I couldn't put it down - it was beautifully written, gut-wrenching (even though I knew the ending), funny, and honest. Often when someone we love dies, we romanticize them forgetting all of their flaws. But Michael Ausiello didn't do that - it was refreshing that he discussed the imperfections in his relationship as well as being self-aware enough to point out his own flaws. I am a long time fan of Ausiello's writing having first followed his column on tvguide, then EW, and finally on his own website. I remember when he first posted about Kit's illness on tvline and months later when he posted about his death. I want to thank him for being brave enough to share his and Kit's story. This is a must read!

This book was so good. Such a beautiful and honest tribute to Kit and his marriage. I laughed, I cried and I cried again. I was so impressed with his ability to tell the story of their relationship throughout the book to the point they seemed like close friends of mine by the end. It really makes you think about seemingly insignificant events in your day as they add up to the bigger picture of your life in the end. I loved it.

An intimate, sincere, heartbreaking story of real love between two fallible individuals who embrace their own struggles as well as appreciating the struggles of the other. They lean in when cancer changes their ending and they live their best life up until the end. You will laugh, ugly cry and cheer them on despite knowing the ending going in. It will give you lots of feels -- my best read in 2017 so far.

I can't remember when a literary work elicited such a wide range of emotions: sadness, compassion, humor, empathy, shock, and curiosity. The author's poignant and often heart-wrenching memoir touched me deeply, perhaps because I have also lost several family members in a similar manner. Michael's story is one of inspiration and hope, but most importantly, love. I will never forget the story of Michael and Kit.

This books touched my heart. Reading about this sad, emotional, beautiful, heart-breaking moment in this couple's life was very important to me. Thank you, Michael, for you openness, for sharing a bit of the love you felt for Kit.

A powerful, honest story about the risks and wonders of love. Compelling and beautiful, sad yet uplifting and filled with hope. It's more than a love story -- it's about putting oneself out into the world, pursuing joy even if it means risking loss. It's about life.

This captivating memoir is both gut wrenchingly sad AND side splittingly funny. It's a story of love and loss that is told so beautifully and powerfully, that it makes no difference whether you're familiar with the author's work. I only hope this becomes a movie!