How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved

This book is really helpful for all woman who have had bad experiences with men or are young and need to avoid the bad ones! I wish I had read it years ago. The author clearly describes different types of men in an easy way for anyone to understand, not just psychology majors. :-) What I like is the fact that "bad" doesn't just mean that usual "bad boy." She also includes men who are needy, obsessive, manipulative, and insecure, but whom you might normally not see as unhealthy for several months. She gives you the warning signs to look for while also explaining ways to realize your own unhealthy patterns in relationships.

However, I only give it three stars because of a couple of things that are definitely wrong:

1) In describing "mixed "bipolar disorder, she says it's "rapid cycling" between mania and depression but that's not true; mixed cycles are when a person has both symptoms of mania (or hypomania) and depression *at the same time*. Also, people with BPAD can just be depressed, similarly to people with Major Depression.

2. She makes it sound as if mental illness in general is a defect! She actually calls people with mental illness "dangerous." Unacceptable! She has a whole chapter and how to avoid men with mental illness and different mental illnesses listed out. You can't group people into a category and stigmatize them just like any disease. People with mental illness are not a category of "dangerous" folks. Sure, some of them are, but her stereotypes are more *dangerous* than most people with mental health conditions.

3. She thinks there’s a such thing as “normal“ families! However, she never describes any such thing. I think we all know that normal is a huge misconception.

I hope she plans on making changes to correct his mistakes and her next addition!

It's important to recognize that this author, despite having worked as a therapist, possesses no actual scientific or medical credentials. (Of course, anybody can work as a therapist, even somebody with an M.A.) The author's lack of formal training in medicine, psychology, or science might be a reason why she makes up new and unconventional definitions for words like "chronic" or "pathological". The author also buys into a lot of magical hokum, citing "womanly intuition", "built-in danger alert system", and other things that don't actually exist. She offers no statistics or experimental research, only anecdotal case studies.

The author's central premise, which unfortunately has no basis in science, is that human beings (especially women) automatically possess an intuitive knowledge of what is or isn't dangerous, and that this intuition is extremely reliable, so if someone is the victim of abuse, the victim must by definition have been complicit because she ignored her "intuition". (Unfortunately, authors with actual scientific backgrounds and experience in criminal investigations have shown "intuition" to be almost completely unreliable.)

The author also appears to be unaware what dangerous people look like. She asserts that dangerous people exhibit "red flags" that anybody should be able to pick up on. Unfortunately, this claim does not have a strong basis in fact. A few people do telegraph their intentions pretty obviously, but the most dangerous people of all do not.

(For a comparison, check out the observations of FBI profiler Mary Ellen O'Toole. In O'Toole's book, "Dangerous Instincts", the author presents research and case studies showing that the most dangerous people in fact appear quite normal and points to actual experimental results that show how intuition and gut instincts are frequently dead wrong. O'Toole exposes the notion of intuitive or instinctive risk awareness as myths, and offers a ton of scientific evidence to support her claim. If you want a practical guide to avoiding danger, pick the O'Toole book and not this one.)

Anyhow, according to the author, all women have some kind of magical ability to tell whether the person they're talking to is out to get them. Supposedly, women who are victimized are voluntarily choosing to ignore physical sensations, emotional symptoms, or "spiritual" sensing that the author doesn't quantify or measure. Yet according to people who do actual crime research, the reason victims don't respond to "red flags" early on is because the warning signs simply are not there.

The most dangerous people aren't the ones who create "red flags" but the ones who look and act very normal. Unfortunately, the author ignors this basic fact and focuses on perpetrators (men, in this case) whose abusive behavior is obvious. That's not necessarily the kiss of death for the book, if the author had bothered to consider why women might not be picking up on what others might see as obvious risk. Recognition of social cues is a learned behavior, and intuition is something that develops based on experience. In a family where abuse or manipulation is common, the intuition simply never has a chance to develop because the child is never taught what is or is not "unacceptable" behavior. The author could have created a really good book if she'd focused on why and how that process of intuition development doesn't always occur, or if she'd offered a strategy for developing that kind of intuition and judgement. But that would have required actual research, effort, experimentation, and scientific rigor.

Ultimately, this book is a feel-good litany of several different kinds of "dangerous" or "pathological" types of men, a description of why women voluntarily consent to be abused by them, and instructions as to how to use one's mythical "intuition" to avoid them. It's a useful field guide to help weed out the most obviously defective or toxic people, but it unfortunately leaves the reader wth a false sense of security. Everything relies on the author's central (but erroneous) assumption that it's possible or even easy to recognize abusive or manipulative people before getting close enough to be drawn into their games.

This book is okay. One chapter pertained to me, but this is more for the woman who needs serious help spotting blatantly bad men. Most of the kind of men outlined in this book I would not go near with a 10' pole anyway (for the very reasons they say in the book), so it just wasn't for me or my particular men issues.

There is some useful advice in this book that women should look at. I find it disturbing though, that she keeps saying all the different types of men mentioned in the book are incurable. Does she mean because they won't seek help or that they really will always be the same? She doesn't elaborate, but I think it is cruel to say this about male survivors of abuse or war veterans. These people need love like anyone else and don't deserve to be treated as lepers. I think it is important that they want to get better and seek counseling before getting involved, but I don't think they are throw-aways as the authors voice seems to suggest. I think she needs to go back and get a Phd, because she doesn't really seem to have very much understanding. If you find yourself dating unhealthy men, this book still has a lot to offer, but don't be surprised if you want to throw it across the room.

Returned it for a refund after reading over half the book. While the book has a catchy title and it seems the author’s [laudable] intent was to send the important message to women who have endured difficult and abusive relationships that they can choose differently and that they do not have to be helpless and victimized in relationships, I found the judge tone and approach, sloppy research, and willingness to paint with a broad stereotyping brush to frankly be off-putting and the book itself be quite disappointing and misleading.

As others have already noted, her highly anecdotal approach without much or any supporting research to back it up made her conclusions, well, anecdotal at best and worth about as much as any well-intentioned friend could offer over brunch.

First, Ms. Brown’s attempts to describe of actual psychological disorders and pathological behaviors borders on the stuff of middle school term papers, e.g. “My study of serial killers and rapists has revealed several common factors...” — Are we honestly to believe that Ms. Brown has directly conducted multiple studies on serial killers and rapists, especially given that she provides no footnotes or other information whatsoever regarding her “studies?” Or is it more likely that Ms. Brown read books, research papers, and literature created by others on this same subject and is rehashing it as her “study” in the same manner any of us could “study” the subject? While such information could be useful in the context of this book, her messy approach to presenting documented studies and information created by other experts seems intentional — I believe Ms. Brown deliberately wants the reader to accept her “expert” credentials and therefore deliberately presents such information as part of her own research discoveries.

And then there is her tone. While one could charitably say that she’s attempting to adopt a tough-love approach, but rather than achieving that, Ms. Brown’s writing reads like a finger-waving judgy aunt, conveying both disappointment and even contempt toward women who had been in abusive relationships.

For example, when recounting her observations of women she had counseled in the section, What Other Women’s Red Flags Can Teach You, she states “7. Most women I interviewed *did not bother to glean information* from their own previous failed relationships” and “Most did not stop their *dating sprees* long enough to examine character flaws that kept being repeated...” (emphasis mine).

The language used here demonstrates Ms. Brown’s negative judgment of her interview subjects - judgmental language such as “did not bother to,” when a simple neutral statement of “did not seem to” would convey the point clearly. And categorizing women’s relationships as “dating sprees,” a term which implies these women dated frequently, rapidly moving from one man to the next, is also a term that is rarely associated with positive behavior (think: killing spree).

Such language not only shows a negative judgment of her subjects but is also contradictory: throughout the book, Ms. Brown frequently emhasizes that her subjects “wasted years” with these dangerous men. I struggled to understand how these same women were thrn simultaneously on “dating sprees.”

There’s much more to dissect in this book (such as her battering readers over the head with the “red flags” trope, her patchwork of categories of “dangerous” men), but frankly, to bother would start to feel like I was on a “review spree.” :)

If you’re looking for some solidly written and researched books on dangerous men / people by noted experts, I recommend The Gift of Fear (Gavin de Becker) and The Sociopath Next Door (Martha Stout). Both books do an excellent job of fleshing out the same themes Ms. Brown attempts in her book without the judgmental tone.

Ever been careless with your heart? Here is the guide for real boundary setting! My bible for protecting myself from emotional servitude. Insightful and informative...outstanding because Ms. Brown clearly and specifically addresses the motives, behaviors, results and harsh reality of partnering with people who will inevitably cause us to ache and writhe in pain. Ms. Brown brings into sharp focus how we volunteer, fall, run-to, return-to and maintain situations that sadden, hurt, burn, threaten, frighten us and sometimes even our children.

I finally have learned my relationship lessons and will pay attention to what my gut is telling me regardless of the glasses of wine, candles, and the smiling face before me. I now know I can't change an addicted person with a big heart, a child-adult with a happy-go-lucky disposition, a liar who cooks/cleans and a serial cheater who comes home on time.

This book should be required reading for all girls and their mothers and discussed before dating age. As the information is backed by real researched data and statistical history, I am saddened that I didn't know about this book sooner. I am saddened to think that I was a close call with a emotional psychopath. I watch dateline with a different perspective and view behavior with more confidence. Not to say that I am an expert, far from it; rather I can believe in my red flags and the concerns I feel shouldn't and won't be dismissed from here on out. I am not a person who has high standards after all! And that makes me feel good inside!

This easy-to-read, easy-to-reference book contains priceless, pertinent, eye-opening, and concerning psychological insights about subgroups of men with complicated -- and often well-disguised -- issues. (Don't be mislead; "danger" can be AMAZINGLY subtle and appears in many forms.) The information that Sandra Brown presents will likely clarify your understanding of men and be of invaluable help to you and/or someone you know. Not only have I found it required reading for MANY mature women, but frequently give it as a high school (or college) graduation gift to young women. Smart mothers of young women should read this, also! It's certainly worth the $10-$15 if you date . . . and wise to read if there are puzzling aspects to your intimate relationship.

My sister was killed by an abusive husband. Of course the signs were clearer after she died. Things started to make sense.... Read the book. It may save your life or the life of a woman you love....your friend, your sister, etc. Most women who are killed by abusive partners die when they try to leave. Have an exit plan. Tell a friend.

Sometimes we avoid stress by keeping ourself in the dark....however learn that it takes more energy to move around in the dark than the light. The more we know, the brighter the light...the brighter the light the easier it is not to trip on the trash on the floor. The men have issues...we may as gentle women learn to forgive them spiritually, however their behavior is "Trash" and they are acting as if they do not understand the word "Respect"...they don't. The sad part is...the absolute saddest part is...they don't get it....and you cannot teach a person to have a conscious...reading this book helps the light become bright and your life to be easier rather than more stressful. Once you read this you can identify it is "them" with the problem...and your only problem was "Believing in them" and taking their lies for truth. This book does uncover hurtful truths...however a truth is a truth and is there whether you want to believe it or not.

This book spells it out in plain language - just how to see the behavioral cues that indicate trouble! Really this book is applicable not just in spotting dangerous men, but dangerous people in general. The strategies given are very helpful and clearly show how to avoid falling into the traps set by predators. Case studies are also useful in showing how these strategies work in real life. Well written, this book provides people with the tools they need to protect themselves. Highly recommended for just about anybody, but in particular young women will benefit from reading this.

This is a must read for teenagers and adults! Sandra did an amazing job giving the no non-sense facts of all kinds of dangerous men. Though this is mainly for dating relationships it is a great tool on how to avoid dangerous friendships. Though I might add that just because a guy is gay doesn't mean he's safe. He could be a combo pack mentioned in the book or an emotional predator regardless of his sexual orientation. One question I have though, can the warning signs be applied to women or just guys?

A seemingly little known phenomenon is that perpetrators of domestic violence (DV) can pick a former DV victim out of a crowd in seconds. They then court and woe their target, who is often totally unaware of the subtle nonverbal cues she has been groomed to give off. All too often, a woman escapes an abuser, only to discover she is involved with another on the opposite end of the spectrum. The information in this book empowers women to avoid this trap and others by teaching them what to look for, early on in a relationship, to determine whether it is healthy or not and break the cycle of dangerous relationships in their own lives. Many thanks to Ms. Brown for calling women to be accountable for their choices and giving them the insight & tools to do so effectively.

Sandra Brown's book is ground breaking. Much of the research and information available on psychopathic individuals concentrates on the disordered man, his outrageous behaviour, his 'edginess' his charm. Very little out there has considered the kind of women who have fallen for such individuals and what the toll on their lives and finances actually means. Such women will have suffered in isolation, believing they just had really bad luck with this guy, or fatally flawed in some way, or just plain dumb. This book redresses the balance in so far that it validates the experience as lived by the women surveyed, making it clear that they are not crazy. Brown's forensic and patient analysis of the women's complaints and struggles, flags up the fact that, without naming the issue correctly, naming the type of man she is with correctly, there is little chance of understanding what has been truly happening. This is very important since even many, or most, counsellors and therapists are woefully ignorant of this lethal relationship and will continue to treat the woman as having depression, etc, and other relational difficulties. Brown does not let the women off the hook, she highlights how the woman's excellent qualities become weapons in the psychopath's hands. This is, paradoxically, a comfort because if an individual knows this about herself, she can protect herself in future - if she chooses to heed the information. I am concerned that younger women are complacent that they know all this simply because such 'edgy' men are portrayed as sexy and exciting in popular culture and they'd be able to recognise this in their own lives.

Because of my past relationships, I bought and read this book. After seeing myself as well as my past in many of the pages, I decided this book was a must read for my daughter.

And I do agree with others who have posted that this book should be a 'must read' for all teenagers, both male and female. You need to learn early on what is not acceptable behavior and there's no where it is presented more clearly than in this book.

And, if you're not presently in a relationship, you should get this book and read it before someone else enter's your life.

I was having trouble with my off and on boyfriend of 7 years when this book was reccomended to me. I knew he had some of the Red Flags, but I didn't realize how dangerous he really was until I seriously tried to leave him. I felt that Sandra really knew what I was going through and feeling when I read the other womens stories. Every time I said, yes but, she had an answer for me. I am now out of the relationship, am getting help with the law, and not listening to his lies and issues.If I had not read the book when I did, I may be here today to tell my story. I still have a long way to go, but I feel there is hope for me .

We all have to look to our past, to why we attract the men we do and her book makes you look at dating in a very selective light..Kudos!!

Sandra Brown's book is ground breaking. Much of the research and information available on psychopathic individuals concentrates on the disordered man, his outrageous behaviour, his 'edginess' his charm. Very little out there has considered the kind of women who have fallen for such individuals and what the toll on their lives and finances actually means. Such women will have suffered in isolation, believing they just had really bad luck with this guy, or fatally flawed in some way, or just plain dumb. This book redresses the balance in so far that it validates the experience as lived by the women surveyed, making it clear that they are not crazy. Brown's forensic and patient analysis of the women's complaints and struggles, flags up the fact that, without naming the issue correctly, naming the type of man she is with correctly, there is little chance of understanding what has been truly happening. This is very important since even many, or most, counsellors and therapists are woefully ignorant of this lethal relationship and will continue to treat the woman as having depression, etc, and other relational difficulties. Brown does not let the women off the hook, she highlights how the woman's excellent qualities become weapons in the psychopath's hands. This is, paradoxically, a comfort because if an individual knows this about herself, she can protect herself in future - if she chooses to heed the information. I am concerned that younger women are complacent that they know all this simply because such 'edgy' men are portrayed as sexy and exciting in popular culture and they'd be able to recognise this in their own lives.

Because of my past relationships, I bought and read this book. After seeing myself as well as my past in many of the pages, I decided this book was a must read for my daughter.

And I do agree with others who have posted that this book should be a 'must read' for all teenagers, both male and female. You need to learn early on what is not acceptable behavior and there's no where it is presented more clearly than in this book.

And, if you're not presently in a relationship, you should get this book and read it before someone else enter's your life.

I was having trouble with my off and on boyfriend of 7 years when this book was reccomended to me. I knew he had some of the Red Flags, but I didn't realize how dangerous he really was until I seriously tried to leave him. I felt that Sandra really knew what I was going through and feeling when I read the other womens stories. Every time I said, yes but, she had an answer for me. I am now out of the relationship, am getting help with the law, and not listening to his lies and issues.If I had not read the book when I did, I may be here today to tell my story. I still have a long way to go, but I feel there is hope for me .

We all have to look to our past, to why we attract the men we do and her book makes you look at dating in a very selective light..Kudos!!

A Dr. Phil program tipped me off to this amazingly well written and thoroughly researched book. We ladies are not the only one's with beguiling natures! Watch out! Learn. Become educated so you can protect yourself from these men who(God bless 'em)can lead you down a blind path using your heart strings for reins. Check out her other books. Everything I've received related to this author has been invaluable! Learn the difference between real and "Memorex" (pathological) charm that even he might not understand but has likely used all of his life!

I've only been seriously involved with 2 men, both which ended up being considered "dangerous". One I was married to and the other I dated for a couple years. The one I was married to was emotionally abusive and had a drinking problem among other things...the chapter that described him the most, not 100%, is The Abusive or Violent Man. The one I dated was almost 100% different than my ex-husband so I didn't realize he was "dangerous" until after I read the book. There's a chapter, The Permanent Clinger, that decribed him almost to a T. After reading the chapter I realized that things needed to end immediately. It took 2 years for me to come to this conclusion because I couldn't tell if I was the problem, due to my marriage and now being slow and cautious, or if he was the problem. When I read the book I realized that I was not the problem and now I have a reference for the future when dating again so that I don't waste too much time finding the right person for me.

I have been in counseling and 12 step programs but still didn't listen to my red flags or maybe I heard a whisper to buy this book. It helped me through my confusion over a man I was dating. The book explains red flags and having healthy boundries. It gives examples of 8 types of dangerous men. The book was full of a lot of new information for me and saved me a lot of grief. This is a reccomended read for anyone.

Knowledge is Power.It gives you the power to protect your heart,assets and many nights of wondering what went so wrong with this relationship that started out so wonderful.After you read this book you will know and guess what-It was him not you. Of course you didn't know what was really going on.Know your red flags and what they mean.They always warn you-don't be in denial!
Read the facts . Find out all the tricks they use.Protect yourself!
If I had this book 30 years ago I would have saved myself $100,000 my self esteem and youth.
Dr. Laura read and recommend this book .
It applies to both sexes but mostly to men.
Life is great.But not if you are entangled with a person who is out to suck your blood and assets.

Impressive, very impressive! After reading this book, I bought one for each of my two single daughters. I felt it was vital for them to read the book. It clearly exposes dangerous behaviors and spells out one's responsibilities in relationships. I particularly loved the last couple of chapters with their healthy relationships' blueprint.

Thank you all for the reviews. This is definitely a good book. I have only read excerpts so far, but it is really worth reading it. I love the author's blog, too. ( [...] ) I think she really knows what she is talking about. And this information is essential in our everyday lives. How many people have "dangerous men/women" in their own households and do not even notice it, or, if they do, do not know how to protect themselves from them? It's a pity that just a very few people realize the importance of learning about humans who love being psychic vampires...

Every responsible parent should be providing this book to their child, whether male or female. This is the street smarts they should have that society so carefully educates out of them. Discuss it with them. Provide your own experiences. It may be the best gift you ever give them. I would also recommend reading Barbara Hort's Unholy Hungers: Encountering the Psychic Vampire in Ourselves & Others along with it. It gives a more complete psychological picture of a "dangerous person" and what drives them.

You know the expression ladies, "too little, too late?" Well there's nothing too little about this book, but it sure was too late for me! Where were you 15 years ago, Ms. Brown? There's a whole lot of something every woman needs to know about between those covers (and I'm not talking about the one's on your bed, or am I??) Ladies, take heed. The red flags are waving, but you might miss them if your wearing rose-colored glasses. Not all men fit into this book (thank the good Lord), but she makes it very clear on who's who and what to look for. Thanks for the info. Now--can you write one on "How to Spot a Great Guy and When to Get Involved?"

For the past 3 years our organization has been teaching comprehensive domestic violence workshops within a correctional facility and have long struggled to find information that the women we serve can relate to as well as learn from.... Well we have found it in this book! We work with incarcerated women from all walks of life who get involved over and over again with every possible type of dangerous man out there. We are so happy to help bring them tools they can use to make wise choices and avoid the patterns of dangerousness that they have so long been involved in. Thank you!

Karen K. & Jen O.

Directors, Co-Founders

G.R.O.W.

Giving Real Options to Women

Excellent book! Ladies, there are a lot of SCARY men out there who prey on unsupecting women. You need to educate and protect yourself. This book helped me to take an honest look at some of my personality traits and behaviors that acted as a "WELCOME" mat to dangerous men. I was motivated to change my ways, and I will be a lot more picky and cautious when it comes to dating. No more "fixer-uppers" for me, thanks.

My only regret is that I didn't read this book sooner, I would have saved myself a lot of stress and heartache.

I am a professional with experience in dealing with broken lives, and I can tell you, this book is a life saver. So many women could be helped in their journey to finding a trustworthy man with whom they could have a healthy relationship. Too often, it's the dangerous ones with whom they become entangled. Here's a heads up for all women. Read it and pass it on.

Phil Engelman

I bought the book for my daughter who was researching batterer intervention programs, and needed something more current. I passed up other options on the shelf because this one really hits the nail on the head. Her insights hit home and I learned some new things, despite years of reading and research. I believe it should be required reading for teenage girls and women - after I gave it to my daughter after reading it, I bought one to keep on my shelf. I believe most women will identify with this approach and find themselves (and their dangerous men!)somewhere within these pages.

True stories from women everywhere, examples of "red flags," and profiles of dangerous men make this book useful and interesting while cutting out most psychological jargon. It includes strategies for avoiding unhealthy relationships and lays out clearly what is and isn't acceptable in a healthy relationship.

A must-read for anyone ready to stop make bad dating choices and start building a healthy relationship with a healthy person.This book puts the power to change back in the woman's hands.

As a mother of a teenage daughter and client advocate at a crisis pregnancy center I am so thankful to be able to share what I have learned in this book! I can now counsel with research to back up what needs to be told to the young women today about relationships with men. This knowledge is powerful! This book and workbook will enable you to help other women learn how to date safely! Thanks so much for sharing your work with us in an easy to understand way.

Sandy Brown has taken years of clinical experience and condensed it into a book that women of all backgrounds can use to stay alive. As a psychotherapist, I can say with certainty that until women understand the insidious nature of psychopathology in otherwise enticing men, more women will die and the rest will lose their sense of self to an emotional predator. Worse yet, if a woman repeats patterns of dating dangerous men, who do they think their daughters will find appealing? Knowledge is power, the power to stay safe.

Wish this book was out years ago! Very good regarding subtle signs (as well as obvious) early in the relationship. Love the Red Alert Checklists.
This is NOT a "man bashing" book, the author invites us to look at ourselves as well. Describes some behaviors that women may have that attract a dangerous man.

This book really spoke to my behavior patterns---choosing men based on unhealthy needs in myself and poor role models. I think I was beginning to "get it" before I read the book, but with this book I feel more grounded and am able to refer back to it if I feel myself veering off or wavering. So many women I know can make better choices with the help of this book.

This book was recommended by my therapist because I tend to fall for the same type of dangerous man... It will be helpful to spot some of the danger signs before getting into a relationship. My now EX boyfriend was chapter 3 to a T. Very good read for those getting back on the dating scene not wanting to fall for the same thing over and over again. Good luck ladies!

This book could have been titled "Mistakes from my Past Relationships." It hit home on all the red flags I've chosen to ignore in relationships and really opened my eyes about these types of men (and women). In today's dating climate everyone who's entering into new relationships need to be "armed" with the tools to make a good decisions about who to get involved with - this book gives you that.

I thought that most of the chapters were very informative, but I was very uncomfortable with the way she wrote about the mentally ill man. She attempted to address the mental illness stigma that people with mental illness deal with every single day of their lives, however the way she wrote the chapter just fed into the stigma.

I didn't like how she said something on the lines of "Well he may be okay today, but what about next week, next month or next year" and "think about all the expenses and the hospitalizations!" Yes, hospitalizations may happen, but more often than not they DON'T happen if the person stays with their program and maintains his or her meds to keep the condition under control.

I was really angry when I read that because I have a very close friend who has major depression. Usually he does very well, but there are times when the disease will flare up. He is very medically compliant and always takes his medications, but extreme situations can make things difficult on him. He is a very good guy and treats his girlfriend very well and is on top of everything about his illness.

Ms. Brown should have been more specific and mention medical noncompliance more often. A person of course must be responsible and be medically compliant if he or she has a mental illness. There are some people out there who are grossly medically noncompliant who DO become that dangerous man or woman, but it is very, very unfair to lump everyone with mental illness into that same category.

When I first heard that some broad named Sandra Brown had written a book warning women about men like me, I freaked out. Who did she think she was, trying to take the wind out of my sails? One day when I was at Barnes and Noble, I flipped through a copy just to see how well she had me nailed down. It's lucky that I did! I ended up reading cover to cover. I cannot overstate how much of a help this book was in putting me two steps ahead again. I'd write more, but I have a date in like 20 minutes.