A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love - and Life

Dr. Glover's highly readable book delivers succinctly insight after insight on the all but pervasive "Nice Guy syndrome." Without doubt, No More Mr. Nice Guy is the most illuminating explanation on the people-pleasing, self-abnegating pathology I have discovered.

No More Mr. Nice Guy is an interesting read though it appears to omit some fundamental tenets about human behavior and childhood conditioning. Had I not read Lindsay Gibson's "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents and Carl Vincent's "Help! I have a Cardinal Parent" Help! I have a Cardinal Parent [Article] (How to Use the Stars Book 2) before "No More Mr. Nice Guy," I might have put it down after the first chapter. Glover does a great job identifying part of the core of the problem why so many guys these days are "nice" - yet he probably hasn't considered the root of the problem for at least a significant number of them: single motherhood and acting "nice" as a survival strategy. From what I understand, the brain fails to forms neuronal connections (that "normal" men do develop) as a result of a challenging childhood environment. In other words, even if adult life demands that "nice" men stand up for themselves, because of the effects of childhood trauma and conditioning, they may initially be neurobiologically unable to make the transition because their brains simply don't have the right connections. It not only takes time to make them, if I trust Norman Doidge's assessment for instance, it may also require a steady commitment that does NOT involve self-punishment for failing to immediately make the transition. Glover doesn't appear to stress enough how strong the negative impact of shame and punishment by perfectionist, demanding and controlling caregivers can be. While he does recommend seeking "safe" people to start the process of becoming the real man in oneself, he fails to use the important term (self-)empathy which many nice appear to need in order to develop the confidence for changing their outlook and approach to life to a more masculine version. Along the same lines, Glover does stress the two aforementioned aspects (modern) childhood (i.e., single motherhood and survival) (several times in fact) that turn otherwise very capable men into people-pleasers and self-neglecters, yet he fails to establish the crucial link with brain development and trauma.

Even more importantly, though, Glover, at least in the beginning of this book, neglects to identify the two fundamental ways in which all children appear to deal with a challenging environment: internalization or externalization. If I use Lindsay Gibson's book as a guide, Glover appears to be an externalizing alpha-male because he is quick to blame "nice" men for their situation before explaining what might have caused their condition - without taking back some of his blaming.

Another psychological aspect that No More Mr. Nice Guy appears to omit is what characterizes Carl Vincent's work and those who write about narcissism. There appear to be only two distinct personality types regardless of upbringing, race, social status, gender or genetics: those who seek to blame others for their own mistakes and make them pay and solve the problem (let's call them Type X, and those who take responsibility and seek to fix the problem though not necessarily by themselves ("Type Z"). Glover shoves all nice men (initially) into the same, former category. This not only detracts from Glover's message, it also diminishes the validity of the rest of the book. In other words, "No More Mr. Nice Guy" quickly went from being a "cure-all" to interesting background info that should be taken into the proper context together with the aforementioned authors' works. I have met plenty of nice "doormat" men with disappointing marriages and half-fulfilled professional careers who were otherwise very intelligent, hardworking and responsible. Yes, it would be nice, pun intended, to see them act more masculine, but being "nice" doesn't make them less valuable members of society and that is what Glover appear to want us to believe. Women carry a significant responsibility for rearing "nice" men. If Carl Vincent is correct, they do it for a purpose, and yet they are not alone. Neglectful, irresponsible fathers carry just as much weight in this equation. If only we could prevent the Type X people from ever having children, we might prevent a lot of misery and "nice" behavior. In the meantime, guys, let's give a shout out to all the folks who help us identify how to (quickly and empathically) retrain our "nice" brains into "masculine" versions. Considering that's a utopia we're unlikely to reach anytime soon, I use a shortcut from LeBron James and featured in an article in Psychology Today: self-talk. It goes like this: for every area that I find I need changing based on Glover's recommendations and where I fear to tread, I say": [My own name], go do that. Works like a charm - now, if only I would remember to do it it more often.

This book is very insightful in many ways. Dr. Glover's exercises also seem well constructed to help nice guys become better men. His approach, however, is amoral- someone who believes in religion and moral truths will likely have difficulty performing some of his exercises... And I, for one, wouldn't encourage them.

This book has been a real eye-opener. With great candor, Glover easily calls to the fore the classic hallmarks of behavior that plague us nice guys. Then, in equally plain terms, he directs us to drop our victim mentality, and begin rewriting our paradigms. I've plowed through more self-help books than I can count, but Glover's is the first that's managed to hit me right between the eyes. I'm just beginning to wake up, and I'm excited at my road that lays ahead!

There are two types of reviews of this book. One is the guy who discovers that women will usually not develop romantic attachments to so-called nice guys and therefore, more assertiveness is required. In this respect, NMMNG is brilliant. The doc explains that nice guys aren't really nice to begin with (although its not their fault) and women who aren't romantically interested in nice guys aren't being mean; they simply don't have much respect for guys who try too hard and thus appear needy.

The second type of review questions the psychological underpinnings behind the nice guy personality type. I haven't the slightest idea if Dr. Glover's explanations are accurate, provable or true, but it doesn't make any difference. If you are a nice guy, writing a term paper on your personality type, you may want to dig deeper into your childhood, parental issues, etc. But if you recognize your behavior in this book and know it does not work, here at last you will find out why and what you need to do.

This book is an essential adjunct to individual and couples therapy in relationships involving a "nice guy". Pithy observations about the complexities of "nice guy" behavior, and how "nice guys" (dys)function.

This book did more for me than any other therapist ever has. It actually identified a major issue that has existed in my life and marriage that I never even realized was destroying my relationships and my marriage. My life has changed so much since reading this book. I wish this book was available 20 years ago, life would have been so much better. Thank you Mr Glover for supplying the truth and tools needed for helping me fix the major mess my life had become.

I'm a nice guy. There are degrees of nice guys. I find myself to be a second degree. I'm also depressed which I believe comes from the aforementioned principle. My father was depressed. My mother is psychotic. I am in love with a girl who barely notices I exist. I've read books like this. But I don't want to just be motivated- this alone, we all must be aware- is up to ourselves. I'll visit the website, check over everything twice. Perhaps even read the book again as he suggests. I've actually read each chapter twice- one for initial information, the other for highlighting main points (as suggested in How to Win friends.) Again, I don't want to just be motivated. Again, again, up to the individual. Perhaps I can win the love of my life, get back my balls and live the life I want. Only time and persistence and damn the no motivation! will tell. Cheers.

This book has been a real eye-opener. With great candor, Glover easily calls to the fore the classic hallmarks of behavior that plague us nice guys. Then, in equally plain terms, he directs us to drop our victim mentality, and begin rewriting our paradigms. I've plowed through more self-help books than I can count, but Glover's is the first that's managed to hit me right between the eyes. I'm just beginning to wake up, and I'm excited at my road that lays ahead!

There are two types of reviews of this book. One is the guy who discovers that women will usually not develop romantic attachments to so-called nice guys and therefore, more assertiveness is required. In this respect, NMMNG is brilliant. The doc explains that nice guys aren't really nice to begin with (although its not their fault) and women who aren't romantically interested in nice guys aren't being mean; they simply don't have much respect for guys who try too hard and thus appear needy.

The second type of review questions the psychological underpinnings behind the nice guy personality type. I haven't the slightest idea if Dr. Glover's explanations are accurate, provable or true, but it doesn't make any difference. If you are a nice guy, writing a term paper on your personality type, you may want to dig deeper into your childhood, parental issues, etc. But if you recognize your behavior in this book and know it does not work, here at last you will find out why and what you need to do.

This book is an essential adjunct to individual and couples therapy in relationships involving a "nice guy". Pithy observations about the complexities of "nice guy" behavior, and how "nice guys" (dys)function.

This book did more for me than any other therapist ever has. It actually identified a major issue that has existed in my life and marriage that I never even realized was destroying my relationships and my marriage. My life has changed so much since reading this book. I wish this book was available 20 years ago, life would have been so much better. Thank you Mr Glover for supplying the truth and tools needed for helping me fix the major mess my life had become.

I'm a nice guy. There are degrees of nice guys. I find myself to be a second degree. I'm also depressed which I believe comes from the aforementioned principle. My father was depressed. My mother is psychotic. I am in love with a girl who barely notices I exist. I've read books like this. But I don't want to just be motivated- this alone, we all must be aware- is up to ourselves. I'll visit the website, check over everything twice. Perhaps even read the book again as he suggests. I've actually read each chapter twice- one for initial information, the other for highlighting main points (as suggested in How to Win friends.) Again, I don't want to just be motivated. Again, again, up to the individual. Perhaps I can win the love of my life, get back my balls and live the life I want. Only time and persistence and damn the no motivation! will tell. Cheers.

I’ve read my fair share of “self help” books over the years. Most were less than notable. Some would occasionally make me think - offering an interesting insight or recommendation worth considering. You could get something of value from them.

Dr. Robet Glover’s “No More Mr. Nice Guy” is in a league of its own. All I can say is “wow” . It seemed that about every third or fourth page contained a glimpse into myself - my personality, my behavior, my thought process, and the childhood experiences that set the stage for all of it. As I tore through the book, I gained real insight into my own flawed thinking and self-sabotaging behaviors that undermined two succesive marriages (and more than a few serious relationships). I am about to re-read the book, and begin doing the “breaking free” exercises. It seems THIS self-help book has the potential to have a life altering impact. Stay tuned.

This book is definitely recommended for those who have always been known as "nice guys" and want to get the most out of life. It is a psychology book without all of the "touchy feely sharing" stuff of other books written in a female influenced world.

If you are a "nice guy" you will be amazed at certain things; like how predictable you may be. At times I felt like this book was written for me alone. In a way it was a bit concerning as no man wants to be that predictable; but the silver lining here is that if the reader is predictable, so will be the outcomes.

The only problem I see with this book is follow up. I was ready to move forward but found no where to go to follow my "no more Mr. nice Guy" path. The website is not comprehensive enough to help with this issue and most of the ads cross over to seduction topics which may turn off some if not many. The website is not a testament to the book however.

I do recommend this book but do not expect to be cured out of your "nice guy" when you are done. The book is a first step into recognizing the issues of nice guys and what to do to get better.

I found this book without directly searching for it but its title spoke to me right away, so I ordered it without hesitation. I have just finished it and I am about to read it a second time.

I can hardly express how helpful this book has been. It's very clear, to the point and allows everyone who identifies himself as a nice guy to finally connect the dots, realize there are many similar people out there but most importantly have clear answers and a plan to get better.

The only regret I have is not finding and reading your book earlier, it’s a real life saver.

I bought this book with the thought of it being a "novelty" read...based on the title. Dr. Glover has identified an issue that has invaded the culture of many American males and has turned it on its head! I am intrigued with human behavior and read books about relationships and sociology frequently. In reading this book, I was hoping for a nugget that I could use to help others in my quest to become a relationship coach for men. Instead I found myself marking highlights on nearly every page and the desire to re-read it again and again to completely absorb the ideals contained within. I feel fortunate to have stumbled upon it and I intend to pursue the other offerings that Dr. Glover has available on his website!

This book highlighted many habits and actions I do on a regular basis and never thought much about.... Then it explains where it comes from and the affect it had on me and the people around me... Very helpful!

I'm too nice to get upset but this book NAILED me. I have been used, kicked around, taken advantage of and 10 pages into this book laid out my life story. I am working my way through it and almost finished I am recommending it to as many men as I know based on my outsiders observations. I am sure there are lots of men with perfect marriages - I even know a few but not very many. I could go on and on. Just buy the book. if it doesn't describe you perfectly then give it to someone that it does - but I am willing to bet you will say "that's why I am unhappy and/or unsatisfied"

This book is an eye-opener, at least for me. Dr. Glover makes very cogent points and offers concrete exercises. I recommend this to anyone, male or female, who is trapped in the seeking approval cycle.

Great read! I was a Nice Guy in denial. This book was a God-send for helping me:

*Discover my true masculinity and identity as a man
*Made me 5 times happier!
*Improved my business and personal relationships
*Made me a vastly improved leader

I couldn't recommend this book enough! Love it and will keep it for a lifetime. Will definitely recommend to my friends in need.

WOW this product is so unbelievable. It feels like your whole life is being explained and how you can turn it around. This is such good stuff in the book it is so deep and touching it really gets to you and you just feel it in you. This book is definitely worth it I love it. I always look forward to reading it. By far the best information u could find. No one else will give this much revealing advice. It makes you see everything and think things way differently. It's like the ANSWER, the medicine, the healer, the magic, the mind trick. I would rather stay in the library, super quiet place and Just read this book instead of going out and partying and having a good night out.

Great book, pissed me off cause it showed me how people do use me as a door mat, but it also had worksheets and powerful helpful ways to help break the cycle. Granted this book is geared toward men, I borrowed it after my boyfriend and we grew together by reading and completing this book.

This book highlighted many habits and actions I do on a regular basis and never thought much about.... Then it explains where it comes from and the affect it had on me and the people around me... Very helpful!

I'm too nice to get upset but this book NAILED me. I have been used, kicked around, taken advantage of and 10 pages into this book laid out my life story. I am working my way through it and almost finished I am recommending it to as many men as I know based on my outsiders observations. I am sure there are lots of men with perfect marriages - I even know a few but not very many. I could go on and on. Just buy the book. if it doesn't describe you perfectly then give it to someone that it does - but I am willing to bet you will say "that's why I am unhappy and/or unsatisfied"

This book is an eye-opener, at least for me. Dr. Glover makes very cogent points and offers concrete exercises. I recommend this to anyone, male or female, who is trapped in the seeking approval cycle.

Great read! I was a Nice Guy in denial. This book was a God-send for helping me:

*Discover my true masculinity and identity as a man
*Made me 5 times happier!
*Improved my business and personal relationships
*Made me a vastly improved leader

I couldn't recommend this book enough! Love it and will keep it for a lifetime. Will definitely recommend to my friends in need.

WOW this product is so unbelievable. It feels like your whole life is being explained and how you can turn it around. This is such good stuff in the book it is so deep and touching it really gets to you and you just feel it in you. This book is definitely worth it I love it. I always look forward to reading it. By far the best information u could find. No one else will give this much revealing advice. It makes you see everything and think things way differently. It's like the ANSWER, the medicine, the healer, the magic, the mind trick. I would rather stay in the library, super quiet place and Just read this book instead of going out and partying and having a good night out.

Great book, pissed me off cause it showed me how people do use me as a door mat, but it also had worksheets and powerful helpful ways to help break the cycle. Granted this book is geared toward men, I borrowed it after my boyfriend and we grew together by reading and completing this book.

This book feels like it was written by a college kid as an essay a few nights before the due date. The writing style is very simple and extremely repetitive. A paragraph will contain a thesis, then a short case study always revolving around childhood trauma instead of how to engage with women as the subtitle suggests, then the thesis reworded again for the next few sentences. I bought this book under the impression it was mainly regarding interactions with women and how to hold frame in a social dynamics aspect, but the majority of this book is about how to overcome childhood trauma brought upon by unhealthy relationships with your parents. A lot of what is contained in this book is not meant to address "nice guys" so to speak, but I feel as if it is more targeting towards those with parental issues. When describing his case studies of men who were not happy in their relationships, it lacks enough detail to be relatable for the average joe, and is quick to proceed to "see this is why mice guys....) instead of diving into each example more thoroughly. Not what I was expecting. A short read, but it lacks the significant substance that a book that took 6 years to write (as stated by the author) would entail.

Great book, only regret is not discovering this book sooner. It opens your eyes as a man and makes you realize you can still be a good guy without being too much of a good guy who is constantly taken advantage of without noticing, being a 'yes man', or subconsciously living up to others expectations and not really controlling your own life like you should as an Alpha male.

This was absolutely the book I needed to change my outlook. I know other "nice guys" who used this book before me, and even their tremendous praise of it could not prepare me for just how life changing it was going to be. I've read some very negative reviews about the book and the author. All I can say is that maybe this was not the right book for them, or maybe they misinterpreted the message. I would strongly suggest that if you are here now reading these reviews then you probably NEED THIS BOOK. I am no longer on a fruitless quest for answers. Great for referencing and reviewing even after the first read.

If you are a "Nice guy" who finds that you get walked on all the time, this book may be for you. Reading it opened my eyes to how being a nice guy is often not so nice. It has allowed me to stand up for myself and in doing so, get my voice heard and needs met. Sometimes it is OK to be selfish - and that is something few people are willing to openly admit today.

I don't write reviews much but this book deserves praise. Reading it was as if Mr. Glover knew me personally! I gained so much understanding about why I have lived my life so far in the manner that I do. If you struggle with relationships because of insecurities and/or are stuck in a rut in life due to repeating actions that do not result in the intended outcome, READ THIS BOOK! It will challenge long held perceptions about life, love and happiness if you are a "Nice Guy". If you consciously start applying the insights learned, it will start to change your life!! One of the most important books I've read in all my 42 years.

I am blown away by the simplicity and power of this inspiring book. No More Mr. Nice Guy has helped me to move from pleasing to being of incredible service in my career and life. I'm recommending it to many of my friends and male coaching clients. Dr. Glover has brought forward a captivating text for men on how to unleash their most authentic self. Thank you, Robert!

It really doesn't apply to everyone equally, and not at any time in your life. Like the most powerful books I have read, I knew about it or read it once already but it had no impact at that time. It only makes sense when you are at a point in your life that it resonates with you. And it may not be for everyone.

For me personally I read this book again after many years and this time it is causing big changes in my life. I want to put myself first and meet my own needs. I had no idea what was behind my unhappiness and withdrawal from many parts of living. This book did a great job explaining why my childhood conditioning had created a survival mechanism that ended up controlling my life. But no longer thank goodness.

It teaches you how to be a strong and compassionate man, whom at the same time can stand his own ground and ask for what he wants. Not in a narcissistic bullying way, but in a way that is assertive and gets results.

I can't say enough positive things about this book. It has been a real eye-opening experience to realize all the things that I have been doing in my life that have been holding me back from great things. A huge part of that is that I am too much of a nice guy. his book gets into why men become nice guys and how to change your life so that you don't keep making the same mistakes. One of my biggest problems is getting into relationships with women who are dominating,mean, controlling and flirtatious. I have struggled with this and have always tried to figure out how to best deal with these situations. I have been called crazy by women that I have dated, unreasonable and been blamed for the failure of certain relationships. While all of those things may be true to some extent I have also learned that I am drawn to crazy women who love attention, have low self-esteem and thrive in drama. I have been the victim so many times and have allowed myself to be abused, treated unkindly and have stayed in bad relationships all due to my own lack of confidence and belief that I don't deserve someone great. This book has helped me to see things I never saw before and gives step by step instructions on how to change things so that you have a rewarding life and a partner worthy of sharing it with you.

Another thing that I noticed is that most of my guy friends are also nice guys that have shared the same challenges as me. I have shared my knowledge from this book with them and we are all working together, and helping each other to make a shift. So far things are improving considerably. I am saying NO more and establishing boundaries. I am noticing that people are starting to respect me and it feels really good. Another cool book to check out is 'Think Big and Kick Ass' by Donald Trump,but definitely get No More Mr. Nice Guy first. I am on my 3rd read of it now. Best of luck to you!

A lot of points hit really close to home and I was actually able to improve myself based on a lot of tasks the author suggests you to do. Possibly one of The most eye-opening books I've ever read in my journey for self-improvement and I have got my fair share of reading in. In many ways this book acts as a therapist on paper,however, for a chronic self-indulgent person such as myself that likes to fix his own problems, this book was definitely a catalyst in getting the ball rolling toward a brighter, beautiful future!

Would definitely recommend to anyone who's unclear as to the reason why they're lacking focus in certain aspects of life (namely: people, relationships, motivation, and intimacy.)

I didn't know what to think when a friend of mine bought me this book. Initially, I was confused. I didn't think there was anything wrong with being a "nice guy". Until I read Dr. Glover's description of what a nice guy is and how many of those characteristics apply to me. I couldn't put the book down after reading the first chapter. It scared me that someone who didn't know could describe my behavior so accurately. And it also motivated me to work on my counterproductive behavior. I've read the book twice and I'm currently working through the "breaking free" activities recommended in the book. Glad to say I'm a recovering nice guy now. It's not easy, but well worth it. Thanks Dr. Glover!

The author is a psychologist, and gives lots of examples from people that he's worked with. He describes the underlying psychology, and then gives steps you can use to change your thinking and actions.

I ordered this for a guy friend who is a truly nice guy. He told me it has some good parts for him. I think it is probably one of those books in which you need to see what fits and you feel comfortable with.

Finally, a book for men that unapologetically explains how to act like a man, and stop being a push over "whatever you say, dear." White knight. Men have a been told that they are the cause of all the worlds problems for so long that they have given up being who they are. They have given up their innate freedom. This book at its core shows men how to become free.

I am a recovering nicely guy. Before this book was suggested by a friend, I had started putting some of it into practice and it was working. Now, I have the entire toolset and my life is getting even better.

This book is a must read for both men and women. I have learned so much about myself (even though I am a woman) and about the men in my life. I want to give this to so many people. One of the most clear, succinct, practical books I have read.

If there was one book that I'd give to my friends, it's definitely this one. The advice, principals, suggestions etc. will have a positive affect on every area of your life, if you're open to it. I think that women can also probably get a lot out of it too. It's also for men/women that are in successful relationships, anyone can find value in this book.

Practical tips. Dives deep into your psyche. No macho BS. Doesn't expect men to be jerks, and doesn't allow them to be doormats. I've sifted through a few other books for men on the topic of standing up for yourself and this is the best one.

I cannot recommend this book enough!
Ive stopped putting blame on my SO for everything that is wrong with our relationship and taken a few things on board as my own issues.
If you want to reclaim the masculinity that 3rd wave feminism is beating out of our generation of men, without resorting to becoming an alpha jerk, this is the book for you.

Very helpful book. It isn't so much on how to get love, sex, and the most out of life, as it is a way to make yourself the man you want to be. The rest sort of follows by nature. Really, a lot of interesting ideas, great ways to help you move past your nice-guy status, and I really enjoy how he refers to actual psychology rather than just personal experience(though there is that, too.) Probably one of the best books I've read on the subject.

This is an excellent book that is very readable and eye opening. Helping men become their authentic self without apology is something far too many men are able to do. It's not about fostering cruelty or anything like that, but it is about being a mature empowered man which requires self reflection.

Never have I read a book which "understood" my underlying insecurities so well. After years of personal development, I thought I had all the answers. But after a very hard breakup, I was left confused. I didn't understand how I could have screwed up so badly. I learned exactly how deeply my need for approval goes. I now see that approval seeking can LITERALLY be lethal. I now refuse to put myself second. Err... Well, I'm still working on that, but I've massive strides already. Every living male needs to read this book sooner or later.

I was just reading the first 2 chapters and i felt like this guy has been describing my WHOLE LIFE! I had no idea that other guys were this way too. I felt Exposed and Affirmed at the same time! This book is unbelievable. I'm so glad i found it! I dont know what to do!!!

Starts out well, but degenerates into a bunch of 21st Century lingo about alpha's, betas, and pop psychology. Appeals to those that wish to be led, or already have low self esteem. Designed to convince 90% of the population that they are so called "nice guys" that need to be reformed. This is like a sales/marketing campaign straight down the line.

AweSome book - has helped articulate and identify self-defeating patterns I have wrestled with most of my adult life. Great to hear how more frequent hanging out with my mates, having a few beers and watching rugby etc is good for my marriage ;) Great practical tips/steps and also great real life examples. Im really glad I happened to stumble upon this book, and seems very complementary to and in alignment with other "manhood" books such as Iron John by Robert Bly.

This ceases great reference book to refurbish myself and males in my circle. The rating levels is too low to understand what this book means to us, as a man.

Have been reading and applying tenets as I went along. This is now my male reference manual! No More Mr. Nice Guy? and the Bible; MO MORE LIMITS!

Thank you so much for sharing!

NMMNG should be a staple in ever man's life. I have read it 4 times~ i will refer back to it every few months when i feel like i'm slipping back to my old ways. Gives me a great tune up and puts me back on track. I am planning on getting my son a copy of it when he comes of age. Things i wish i knew 20 yrs ago. Might have spared me a lot of unhappiness.

Excellent,well, written and so on point. I saw so many correlations to myself and many of the predicaments that I keep encountering throughout my 48 years. This book is exactly what I needed to move forward. With over twenty years of therapy and counseling Mr. Glover has condensed most of what I have been struggling with into a single work. As a 48 yr. old black male growing up with a controlling, angry and unavailable mother and grandmother this book hits the nail on the head. With plenty of clinical and psychological precedence Mr. Glover succinctly dissects the core of our dysfunction and gives solid recourse to move into a healthy, abundant relationship with self, other men and ultimately women. The work is approached from a psychological as well as common sense approach. Its well written, easy to read and offers solid solutions with exercises. Many thanks to Robert Glover for this work, it is a life saving gift to those of us who were conditioned to feel inadequate, and burdened with the task of making everything OK for those in our lives that we care about. Much success to those seeking the way to a happy, abundant life. God's blessing to us all.

I had initially bought this book to help me in my dating life, thinking "This book will teach me to be a stand up guy and attract women"! After just reading a few chapters, I knew this book was written specifically for me (and men that have the same curse of being "the nice guy") This gives me the insight of my failed marriage, failed relationships, and why I "thought" I was just unattractive as to the reason for failure. I certainly intend to read this book many times, as Dr Glover wrote this book as if he knew my entire history!

I've read this book cover to cover, three times now and found different things to work on. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy who treats women with courtesy and respect. But as the author points out, having a hidden agenda and thinking that you will get what you want JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE, is a setup for failure. I have adopted some of his suggestions and still have farther to go. But if you are feeling like you are perpetually being let down because you are a "nice guy" then you need to read this book. It helped me face some cold, hard facts that I didn't want to admit and made it okay to want to help myself first and go after what I want. This book was recommended to me by a therapist with whom I spoke regarding my second divorce. I was, and may still be, madly in love with M. But after reading this book, I realized that I was not always doing the best things in and for the relationship. It's abrupt end made me face the truth that I have things to work on... and that it's okay.

I am very surprised at all the glowing reviews; perhaps we read different books?
Although, if you've never come across material like this before, I can understand how priceless it is.

Here's the break down: there is a fair amount of good stuff..
However: This book needs editing, badly. Really really badly. It could have been 10 pages easily.
The whole formatting seems designed to add the appearance of length to the book.

Examples (slight over exaggeration, but not by much) and other negatives:
-Large font.
-Every other sentence contains the phrase 'Nice Guys' at least once.
-Every other page contains a long winded story about some guy.
-Every other other page contains a 'breaking out' exercise - which may or may not be beneficial, but ultimately redundant.
-Every other other other page he coins a new phrase.
-The repeating. So much filler. The author breaks it all down in the beginning and then spends the rest of the book endlessly repeating the same couple of arguments (with minor alterations) for the rest of the book. I'm not talking about adding depth to his previous statements; he essentially copy and pastes previous material.

Don't get me wrong: there are nuggets in there, and I'll keep the book because of them. That being said, the entire book needs to be rewritten.

There are probably better books out there to cover this topic. If you get this one, I recommend skimming it.

Good Stuff: 4/5
Bad stuff: 2/5
Reasoning for final rating: The book became painful to read and the formatting detracted from the message to such a degree that it became overwhelming.

P.S. His suggested reading list is pretty good.

being called a nice guy is about the worst insult you could receive these days. Worse than any other expletive...literally. Read this book, don't be a nice guy. Be a man with value, honor, and, of course, masculinity!!!

This books is really challenges you to look at yourself differently. I'm doing all the challenges and I am seeing things that I have not been aware of. Glover helps give specific examples of different scenarios who share a common theme and it's easy to relate to. I've only started reading, but I am excited to see what Glover has in store. Great buy.

A decent book with lots of insight. Some I could relate to but most of the book felt like common sense. If you wanna really make this book fun take a shot of you're preferred alcoholic beverage every time you read "No More Mr. Nice Guy! group" you will get hammered. Fast.

Really opened my mind up to the reason why I have done the things I have done. Now I know what not to do, so that I will not continue the same old behavior. Great book for those struggling with bad relationships.

This book will come to you when you're ready to face the one person that matters most - your true Self. Glover brings to mind that you only enhance other's lives as you do your own - no more, no less! Thank you Dr. Glover :-)

One of the most thought-provoking books I’ve read in a while. It’s absolutely great for anyone (not just for people who consider themselves Nice Guys) who would like to learn more about themselves and their masculinity.

Have not completed the book yet, which would likely place it around 4 to 4.5. The book is good but how does one completely implement the suggestions without having a group? And of course it is likely a group would cost more money...not likely from my standpoint.

This book is about passive agressive men and how they create failure in their life by not being assertive. The book like so many other self help books is filled with stories about the author's patients and how they overcame or failed to overcome their passiveness. It was a slow read and past chapter 3 you will have to force yourself to read the book. I was expecting a book about assertiveness and how to deal with passive aggressive people, but this book did not fit the bill. If you have a crippling personality and are passive aggressive or codependent, then you might find this book interesting, otherwise you would be better served with a book on organizational management or character development.

I felt identified in many parts of the book except the fundamental part of its theory, to be a nice guy is not a direct consequence of a bad or loveless childhood. Quite the contrary, in my case and I think it would be the same for others being good and caring for others it's a choice made because of the nice referent you have at home, for example with modeling parents that have been happily together since their teenage years. It's also a naif try to be different from bad guys in high school who apart from having more success with girls at that time also came from much harder atmospheres. It's wonderful being respectful, empathic and sensible but we should hardly never help others if we haven't helped ourselves first and showed self respect with a happy and genuine life with our own boundaries :)

As a Recovering Nice Guy this book has helped me diagnose my issues that I've been dealing with in relationships and life. After reading this book, I now have a clear vision of the person that I want to be. I have been able to receive information as to why my relationship failed from this book with accounts from guys just like me. This book has helped me move on in life. Thank you Dr. Glover for what you've written.

I finished this book about 5 weeks ago. It's helped me at home, socially and at work. I would have given it five stars except there is one subject matter on the book that is totally against my spiritual beliefs as a christian. I do believe the author falls short in one aspect. Now armed with the knowledge this book presents I know this. Any woman that likes the total man this book represents as a partner deserves what she gets. Be careful you don't become an IF (Inconsiderate F***). I'm in my late fifties and in a solid relationship, I've found women my age are sick of partners built as the desirable partner Dr. Glover depicts in this book. I live in a condo community, club house, golf, indoor and outdoor pool etc. Long story short Dr. Glover! It's guy's like you aspire people to be that make me look so good. My Partner was married to a guy like this. The operative word here is "Was". So whether your a man or woman reading this book, it's powerful information, but like a double edge sward, it cuts both ways. Stand up for yourself. Grow a pair, but be careful you don't become a prick.

A good book. It enlightens men about the frustration that has plagued them since they were boys. Why do women always fall in love with the total douches? Buy the book. (here's a hint. You're not really as nice a guy as you think you are)

As a Nice Guy myself, I highly recommend this book. I have re-read this book several times. It's an on-going process as a recovering Nice Guy, but you will be happier and more confident with yourself. Make your needs a priority. Awesome book. If you think you may be a Nice Guy, chances are you are one. Bet on improving yourself and you won't regret it.

This is a great and very helpful book. It was like the author was describing me, or should I say who I use to be. I'd recommend this book for any man who considers himself a nice guy and is tired of finishing last.

I have not enough words to describe the feeling I have after I finished the book, I just want to thank you so much for first let me know who I am, and then guide me to break free... It's a life changing book, which in my belief every man needs it, even if they think they are having a perfect life, it's a men Bible!!. thank you so much from my heart!

This should be required reading for all males. I have read this 3 times and it's probably one of the most impactful books I've ever read because it's hard hitting and to the point (something nice guys don't like).

This book has described me to a "T"!!! It has helped me to recognize the patterns that have led me to become so frustrated with life for sooooo long. The most important thing is that it also gives me enough insight to make sure that I don't raise my son's to be "Nice Guys"!!!!

One of those books where I find myself nodding in agreement and stopping to think about what I just read. I don't necessarily buy the premise that some men are "nice guys" because they didn't get their needs met when they were boys. I think modern men in the West have simply grown up in a feminized culture and now women are astonished that they don't like the product. The book will help you realize this and assuage your guilt at reclaiming natural masculinity.

This is an amazing book, scary for someone who has the nice guy syndrome! It's empowering and gives you a new perspective in life. Give you the tools to succeed and gives you the insight you need to improve your life, home, and sex!

I think that this book can be helpful to most men because most of us were subject to emasculating forces while growing up.

There are areas in which I disagree with the author. I find his ideas on masturbation to be utter bunk. I can see no legitimate need for self pleasuring and his advice on this matter, IMO, is just a fresh coat of paint on the bad advice that has been doled out since the days of Kinsey.

"Nice" guys are men who are inhibited by their predisposition towards tranquility and conformity. They are those that utterly detest conflict and instability. The author has shown us that these types of men come from everywhere in life: they can be rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy, good-looking or below average. This book is not for everybody but rather specifically those who fall under the author's definition of a "nice guy". Because of this I couldn't relate and thus didn't find this reading enticing whatsoever. If there were hard science and psychology behind it
I picked up this book in hopes of learning some psychology, and was really wishing for something more scientific. In that sense it was disappointing. What I really took from this text was how much one's childhood can affect their adulthood and turn them into a "nice guy". I view this book as more of a prescription for nice guys rather than a general read.

Excellent, although not the answer for all "Nice Guys." I think the author is well versed he in his knowledge of the theme, but I can also see many points not actually correcting a man's life, but steering him into the identity of a man as described by the author. I believe this will work for many men, and I have also benefitted from the engaging read. Will recommend if you are working on accepting yourself as a man, and if you are intending on developing directness.

I've only read the first two chapters so far and I'm going over the third one now. But his explanations of why nice guys are nice, why they are treated the way they are, and what this causes in them has been pretty accurate so far. I can't wait to finish reading the book.

I can't say enough! This Nice Guy revelation hit me hard. Several times, I had tears of joy reading this. This book is 98% me. Thank you Dr. Glover! I am not alone. I am going to read it again and again.

I could very much relate to this book and it really made me sit back and evaluate a lot of things. I certainly recommend it to anyone who is sick of wondering why nice guys finish last, and all women seem to want men who treat them poorly.

I am happy to have read this book, very much worth the time and money. A lot of the books chapters are really good and I can agree with the opinions stated therein, Also many other interesting perspectives I hadn't seen myself before... eye opening, I'd buy & read it again.

I did not find it as substantive as I was hoping for. Seemed like the author was whining and looking for excuses instead of getting down to what really needs to be done. I did not get the feeling that he was encouraging an effort to take responsibility for our own actions. However, one or two good points were made.