Understanding the Special Awareness - and Communications of the Dying

I learned so much about death and dying from this wonderful book. These nurses really know what they are talking about and have the experience to back it up. I see the process so differently now...they are different ways to understand what dying people are saying. They are not necessarily delusional, they are expressing themselves in a symbolic way. It is a language that can be learned. Read it NOW for you will someday be in a place to need this information.

This is an incredible book that was recommended to me from a hospice worker at a time when I was one of my mother's caretakers. I read it months before she passed and felt a sense of comfort in reading the stories that were told as so many were similar to my own experiences. I was able to share this information with my family members who got the same feeling from the book. I recommend this book for all as it gave me a calmness about my own mortality and makes you realize that the preparation for death is truly part of the amazing journey of life. I have found that some people who read this book who had already lost a family member had a hard time reading it. I believe that most ideal time to read is in advance of the situation so that you are prepared and can benefit maximally from the read.

Written by two Hospice nurses who give examples of terminally ill patients and how and what we should look for in their body language as well as their verbal language; everything is clearly explained, ie; when the patient appears to be hallucinating or reacting to drugs, they can be actually experiencing their needs; they can "see" people who have gone on before them, they recognize their time "is up" and some even predict the day they will die. From this book we can learn how to talk to the patient, how to recognize signs of "where they are" and ways to respond to their need & hopefully, give them some peace in their last days/hours

and eliminate some of their fears they may be going through.

This book is a terrific resource for anyone caring for a dying person, or for someone who is critically ill. It gives lots of real-life examples of people at the end of their life and describes what to expect in the last weeks and days of someone's life. It was especially helpful to read about how dying people communicate in the end stages of their lives: they may see or talk to loved ones who have already passed; they may try to resolve unsettled issues or relationships; they may have an appealing and comforting vision of where they are going; and they may even tell caregivers when they expect to die. The book is written with compassion and wisdom and maintains a steady balanced tone that avoids being maudlin or overly emotional. I highly recommend it!

Beautifully expressed, so incredibly informative and I hugely recommended for EVERYONE to read from someone who has never had to deal with the loss of a parent, sibling or child. I'm not sure anyone can ever be ready, but I'm thankful that I was compelled to order and read this book. By the way, I have never been a book reader and could count all of the books I've read in the last 30 years on my digits and still have some left! I've recommended this to siblings and the nurses in my family as a MUST READ. REALLY.

I can only speak for myself but without the guidance and insights these two ladies have gathered over the years I would not have understood my late father's journey to crossing over. I would have been talking about things that would have been irrelevant; I would have been asking him questions that were out of sync with his experiences; I would have missed out on saying good-bye to him within his perspective. I've suggested this book on many occasions and I encourage you all to become familiar with the information.

The central message of this book is that many people who are dying have special awareness and even some degree of control over their dying process and tangential happenings such as intuitive communication. It is worth reading for those seeking to learn about the many possible paths that an individual death can take, and for those who are in a position to help a loved one through his or her own unique process. Similar to another 3-star reviewer, I also found the examples rather repetitive and I also would not recommend it for those immediately dying, unless they have a positive / accepting outlook toward the experience.

I read this book as a general introduction to the field of compassionate presence at the end of life, preparing for serious effort in that field as a volunteer. For those having a similar perspective or just looking for a more in-depth existential description of dying in American culture, I recommend Dr Ira Byock's book Dying Well, which I bought at the same time. That book goes deeper into fewer death experiences to make points about what the dying are immediately facing and how we (who, after all, are also the dying, just not as immediately) can help and can learn.

I think this is helping me to better understand my dad as he is nearing his end of life. I have several friends who are or were hospice nurses and they have shared some similar stories about their patients. I do believe that people who have a genuine hope of heaven and everlasting life, are much more calm as they cross from this life into eternity.

True stories as reported by a hospice nurse. Very inspiring. I re-read this book whenever a friend or family member is diagnosed with a terminal disease. I have found it to be true, that during these very sad times, that you will receive many gifts from the dying that will be a treasure for the future and coming to terms with their death and your sorrow.

Final Gifts is the most practical, empowering book I've ever read.

What I appreciate most about the book is that it is empowering and comforting to both the loved ones of the dying and the dying themselves. In fact, I own 3 copies of Final Gifts and I loan them out to friends, family and acquaintances when I hear they have a loved one who is dying. To a person, they have returned the book to me and said it dramatically changed their lives and their perspective on how to approach their loved one and his/her death.

The book is about the gifts that the dying person has to pass on to the survivors (and vice versa), even when it may seem the dying person is incoherent or drugged beyond understanding (this is often when he/she needs to communicate most). In a nutshell, Final Gifts encourages caretakers and visitors to pay attention to the communications of the dying, to learn the communication methods of the dying (they often use symbols to communicate--the authors explain how to decipher these), and to acknowledge that the dying need those around him/her to be honest about the situation and encourage openness in their communication.

The book is also very comforting in its description of numerous case studies observed by the two authors. They explain what the dying experience (it's actually very positive) and how to let go.

My mom was the primary caretaker of her mother when she was dying in 1984. My mom read this book 15 years after her mother's death, and even after so much time, my mom found comfort in the answers and explanations she discovered in the book. As she read each chapter, my mom would comment to me that she found many connections between her experience with her mother and what she learned in the book...things that were confusing in 1984 now made sense, such as her mother (who had been quite serene and sharp until her final weeks of life) "talking nonsense" at times or becoming agitated in certain moments. My mom just thought her mother was "out of it" due to the drugs, or that perhaps she was experiencing a near-death dementia of some sort, but now she sees that her mother was speaking in symbols, trying to communicate her thoughts and needs, and most importantly, her gifts. My mom is glad she read the book even 15 years after her experience with her mother, but she regrets that she didn't have it when her mother was dying. My mom feels she missed out on a great deal by not having this information, and the book would have been tremendously empowering and comforting during that tumultuous time.

EVERYONE should read this book. EVERYONE--regardless of educational level (it's a fast and easy read), personal or professional background.

When you don't know how to help someone whose loved one is dying, give them this book. I promise, it will aid them and comfort them beyond measure.

This book was excellent and very informative. It should be required reading for anyone who is hired to work in hospice care or even volunteers who want to work in hospice care.

Likewise, in my case, I wish someone had recommended this book to me in my hour of need with the passing of the love of my life. It would have helped me understand much better what was going on with my loved one and also recognize some mistakes being made by the hospice people in caring for her. I had some anger about some of the discussions being carried on in my wife's presence but was unsure of whether this was cause for concern. As it turned out after reading Final Gifts, it was indeed something that should have been stopped immediately. Also swabbing my loved ones mouth out with a wet sponge or piece of clothe would have made her more comfortable near the end. There were also situations where it was recommended that loved ones should question in a curious manner what the dying person was seeing or feeling or ask what was going on. These queues would have been a godsend to know about.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a loved one who is dying or shortly will die and wants to die in hospice care.

I recommend this book for everyone and anyone. As a health and human service professional, I was introduced to tons of books, information that has been published on Death and Dying. Now, as a retired citizen, I found myself at odds, feeling at a lose of how to best support my sister and her immediate family. She is receiving services from hospice. This is the first book that I have read that truly addresses the "process" of dying. The journey. Life's lessons from this process...and beyond. Read this book. And while you are at it, read Final Journeys as well.

Such a helpful book. I have nursed family and friends in the final part of life and it is a holy, intimate privilege. I give this book to friends who have a loved one in hospice for the first time. It helps care givers and family better appreciate and communicate with one who is dying. Also it helps them to be aware and not miss or misunderstand what their patient is telling them. A hope-filled and encouraging tool.

I encourage everyone to read this book because at some point in our life we will all experience the passing of a loved one or it maybe us needing to communicate to our loved ones that we're ready to make the transition from this life to the next.

My cousin recommended this book to me when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. I looked at it, but was not ready to read it. When I was told by his doctor that he had gone into liver failure and it would be a matter of days, I pulled out this book and read it as we kept our vigil in his room. It was fascinating to me. It helped me understand what was taking place at that time, but also made me realize the nearing death awareness that they describe in the book had been taking place for the past week or so. What I thought was confusion was really the start of his journey from this life to the next. A coworker of ours is dying from pancreatic cancer and we were discussing it yesterday at work. They were talking about some of the things she was saying to her family, and I was reminded of this book. They said she wanted a sip of water and her Daddy said it was ok for her to have it. The family thought she was confused, but in reading this book, you realize she does see her Daddy. The most comforting thing my husband said to me as he was dying was that everyone was so nice to him and they were going to be nice to me too. He was 55 yrs old and his only concern was that he was leaving me and our three children behind and he worried about it everyday of his illness.

Highly precious book for everyone not fearing to prepare the final voyage - or with oneself either with beloved relative - this book helps for all of us to comprehend that unique chance hiding in the end of someone's way. It would be really "final gift", to the dying people and to relatives as well - if we know these "secrets". And be able just to "listen".

Not least: the Author teaches us to _live_ - more qualitative life, instead of wasting our only life to stuff beside the point. This book is for the entire, perfect life.

Great book of HOPE. Written with compassion by nurses with high spiritual awareness.
Many of those phenomenas I have observed myself during my nursing phase.
Dying is just as important as birthing, because it sets the stage for the After(next) life.
What I learned from this book is to really pay close attention to what a dying person is expressing, because it has significance.
Hospices are a blessing in our times of Tech Med.

Ms. Callanan and Ms. Kelley have written a guide of different ways patients may react in the process of dying and how everyone involved can be somewhat prepared for what happens towards the end of life. It is very much written in layman's terms. You won't have to worry about cracking open a dictionary for this baby. This book was a great help to my wife when she, her dad and her four siblings helped their dying mother. Many of the examples cited in this book did occur during the final week. The book is illuminating and will give the reader a great deal of comfort. Do yourself a favor and read it.

Reading this greatly increased my understanding of the dying process - both what the person may be experiencing, feeling, and expressing - and how I could be there fully and without fear. This helped me and others during the confusing and long period when my relative was dying. I found it to be one of two books that were much more helpful than others I read.

Excellent book. It was recommended for my Hospice training and what an eye opener! People in the final stages of their life experience many different emotions and feelings. So many times when a patient is on morphine for pain and medical personnel just want to keep them comfortable for the final stage, the patient will make comments about things or people they see near their bed or in the doorway, etc. They are not hallucinating. Most times the patient is aware of another spirit or being but don't want to leave this world until they are sure their loved ones, will be okay after they die. I highly recommend this book for anyone but especially those who may have lost a loved one or are caring for a suffering loved one.

My mother recently began hospice care. A friend recommended that I read this book. It helped me to feel less alone. It helped me to know that my mother is not alone. I will recommend this book to anyone I know who is facing the death of a loved one.

My brother recently passed away two weeks ago and I saw my sister give this book to our niece. When my brother was in the ICU he did mention seeing two men in the room that were not there. I also noticed he had been hallucinating prior to that though. I guess we all want to believe that our loved ones who are in the transition from life to death are not alone. I do believe that a loving God would help us through the dying process. I ordered this book and found it somewhat helpful but also found it added somewhat to my guilt. So as it is comforting in many ways it also may leave you feeling that you didn't do enough- or listen clearly. So I caution the reader that it may not be as comforting to you if you have already lost your loved one.

Regrettably there was no mention of Death preparedness for patients going through Dementia or Alzheimer's.
That left me disappointed. At another time or situation I will most likely refer back to this.

I am a frequent purchaser on the store, but have never taken the time to write a review. I would be doing injustice if I did not extend my sincerest appreciation and gratitude to the authors of this book. My mother was diagnosed with phase IV lung cancer in March 2008. Prior to her diagnosis, I had limited knowledge of the dying process and was terrified of death. On June 16, 2009, her 58th birthday, my mother courageously decided to forgo treatment and live the remainder of her life as peaceful and pain-free as possible, with the help of hospice. For the next six months, my mother's hospice nurse became an integral part of my family's life and a good friend.

Less than two weeks ago, my mother passed away. Hours before she died, she told me she wanted to go home and asked for permission to go. Then she said I love you over and over again, while I held her hand and told her it was OK to go home. My dog was also there, licking my mom's fingers until she fell back asleep. Because of this book, I was able to listen to my mothers wishes and help her go peacefully. Words cannot describe the feeling that rushed through me when I heard her say I want to go home and the comfort in knowing that home was heaven.

As strange as it sounds, being with her when she died was a profound, miraculous experience. She was there for my first breath and I was there for her last. Up until now, I was afraid of death and the unknown. But my mom's passing gave me so much comfort that there is life after death and that the spirit lives on forever.

I love you, Mom.

This book is extremely helpful if you have a loved one dying. It really helps you understand the process for months leading up to the death and helps you know how to address questions, concerns, uncertainties expressed by the loved one. It would also be a good book for caregivers. It's interesting and well written. I have recommended the book to several people.

Very good book that was referral by a hospice nurse. Helps to understand the needs of the dying to help them die more peacefully, which is a gift to them and to those still living when they are gone.

My father died this week of COPD from smoking cigarettes. I had bought this book about 2 months before his death, because he wanted to die at home, and was in the hospice program. My family was helped so much by this book, especially my mother. It helped her to come to terms with what was happening. Before she read this, she kept talking about his recovery. Afterwards, she learned to listen to my father. This book helped her to grow. Although it is hard to process everything that has happened this week, I have no regrets about leaving things undone. We listened to my father's requests, and did everything we could to meet his needs. This book taught us to listen to him, and we were able to let him go when it was his time to die.

Thank you, thank you! What a wonderful book. I've worked with the elderly for over 20 years, but did not know much about living until we die. I am now working in Hospice and feel blessed to be a part of such a sacred time. It is my hope to be aware of messages I would certainly have overlooked (or educated the family as confusion); to create the opportunity for either the patient or the caregiver to find peace.

This book was recommended by a friend who used the information during the death of her mom. I have a friend who is not doing well, and I am so thankful to have this information. It is still heartbreaking to watch, but I know how to help instead of hinder. I am her friend and I really what to help. I am very thankful for the authors of this book for I understand more now, then ever before.

Being a volunteer caregiver since 2003, I've had the unique opportunity to witness the final months of many lives. Despite the genuine affection we have toward our residents, and the accumulation of talent and experience the nurses and caregivers have in the facity where I work, for years (until I read this book) we had always explained the confused words and actions of the dying in thier final days as a normal part of the brain beginning to shut down.

Oh, how I WISH I had read this book when I began this work! I now understand what these words and gestures mean, which helps me in my work, and I can also better council the families who are experiencing tremendous pain and confusion because they feel helpless when they see their loved one "losing it".

As much as I enjoy reading the evidence that proves the existence of a spiritual realm, while this book offers that, it gives us so much more than that. What we get is a well organized and categorized lesson in "Nearing Death Awareness". We get explicit advice on how to interperet or decipher the words and gestures of dying people. The authors actually teach us how to use direct communication (even if it doesn't always make sense to US) which can result in us receiving the gift of understanding of the dying process, and helping us learn what we need to do on our end in order to enable the patient so he or she receieves *exactly* what they need to die peacefully.

I vividly recall the numerous people I had the privelidge of caring for in their final days. Every one of them had something to say to support the premise of this book. EVERY ONE. As further evidence, I'd like to share that one woman in particular obviously was traveling between worlds in the months before she died. When I went in to see her one day she told me that she "saw" me getting into a woman's blue car out on the road. In fact, while this patient was bedridden and in no way could know this, I had, the previous day, been picked up by my sister-in-law who saw me walking home several miles away from the patient after my van wouldn't start in a store parking lot (and yes, her car was blue). I am certain she was actively in and "out-of-body" in her final weeks.

I recommend this book to everyone!

The best book I have ever read describing the dying process for people terminally ill. Having read this book made caring for my Mother as she was dying much easier, because I knew what to expect. This allowed me to be of more help to her as I didn't have the OMG response to her challenging behaviors. I highly recommend this book to any and all people, no matter if they have a loved one terminally ill or not. At some point in your life you will be confronted with this situation and this book will prepare you well to be of the greatest help to your loved one.

Bought this because Raymond Moody recommended it. Interesting and enlightening. Those who are going through the dying process deserve to be treated with compassion, consideration and respect. We should start with listening and taking their concerns seriously.

My family was ever-so fortunate to have Maggie Callanan as the hospice nurse for our father, when he was dying of Stomach Cancer back in 1993. At the time, we were introduced to Maggie via a Catholic Priest who had worked with Maggie in a Hospice facility, and thought the world of her. Maggie's words of wisdom to us in person, and through her book 'Final Gifts' helped us to understand and to appreciate the process of dying, and indeed the gifts of love that it can bring, so long as you are looking for the right signs. Since my father's death, I have given 'Final Gifts' to numerous people, who all agree that it was helpful as well as healing.

Look and listen carefully; and you may receive the best gift ever from a loved one who is dying.

I have been a hospice nurse for twenty years; and this book is the one to read if you know and love someone about to die.

This book tunes you into the, oftentimes missed, words, expressions and thoughts that are truly "Final Gifts" you don't want to miss.

The stories in this book will help to show you many different ways a dying person will communicate a lasting gift to you. By believing and with expectancy you will receive it.

I highly recommend this book to anyone facing the loss of a loved one. My hope is that it will lighten your load a little, and that you will be blessed with a "Final Gift."

Another book I sent my sister... she read it cover to cover in one night. My mother has breast cancer in her bones... my sister has taken over the job of full time care giver. This has helped my sister in so many ways and she just sit with our grandmother till she passed and this helped the whole family the things my sister had read that helped all of us understand my grandmothers wishes and thoughts at the end. It gives you a whole other point of view. Thanks ladies for writing this book.
Sherri'

I recommend this book constantly. I believe that energy is constantly transferred from place to place, and that science and ancient texts are in agreement about life's Energy. This book was suggested to me by an advisor. It speaks to the things that have been observed as people go through the final phase of this portion of their life's journey. Gifts, indeed!

This book was recommended to me when my husband was diagnosed with pancreas cancer. We read it together and although it was sometimes hard to read, it made a profound difference in how we both handled what was to come. I can't recommend this enough for anyone going through a terminal diagnoses, and those that love and care for them.

I am getting ready to become a hospice volunteer. This book was very helpful in understanding what might be taking place during the dying process. I think it also helped me how to understand things as I am faced with people I love, dying. I really liked the way it is explained that dying is also a process, not unlike birth, and shouldn't be feared. After all, we are all going to experience this

Since this book was first published, I have to believe it is a best-seller because I've bought all the copies!! If you are in my life, you own and have been helped by reading Final Gifts. There was not been a book before this ... nor since ... that captures the feelings and educates people about what to expect during the "final days of gifts." Thank you, Maggie and Patricia, I will be forever indebted to your brilliant idea of sharing your work and knowledge.

I recently started volunteering for hospice and someone recommended this book. It is excellent.....illustrating in real life examples of what happens to individuals and their families as they travel the journey to death. It is fascinating and is going to help me immensely. Death is such a mystery to most people and this will help dispel some of those fears.

A friend recommended this book to me when she learned my mom started hospice at home. Mom passed away last week and it was difficult. But this book opened up the minds of my sisters and me to hear what Mom was saying when she didn't seem to be making sense. It gave us great comfort to listen rather than dismiss her random comments. The book is an excellent read for anyone who has a loved one that is nearing death.

"Final Gifts" is a "must read" for those facing "end of life" issues for themselves or family/friends. I have given this book to many families and friends with loved ones in hospice; it offers comfort as it deals with the reality of death. Many of those I have given it to have gone out and purchased copies for their entire family. The two hospice nurse authors have a wealth of experience and speak from that with candor and comfort, dispelling many fears. They share those experiences in an encouraging and insightful manner. As a former hospice nurse, I can attest to the truth they speak.

Whether you currently are experiencing or accompanying someone through the final months of life or simply want to know more about this part of the journey, you will find this a meaningful and uplifting read!

Excellent book, sensitively written, offering much wisdom and insight for those who journey with dying friends and relatives -- whether at bedside, or from miles and oceans away. Each person's passing is, of course, as unique as the person -- but there are common discernible patterns, behaviors and issues of both patients and their loved ones in the hours, days, weeks and months before death that the authors discuss and illustrate through moving and poignant case studies. Was tremendously helpful to me in real time as I read and prepared for a beloved family member's death -- and now, too, as I continue to unpack those memories and 'final gifts' in these months since her passing. A gem of a book.

This book was so helpful in processing life and death with the terminally ill. It is wonderful insight from a group of hospice care nurses who have experienced this process so many times. Their understanding & insight is so helpful with what to do and look for. Each experience unique, but with underlying patterns we can learn so much from. Excellent for those walking through this difficult stage of life. I really appreciated their help and perspective, good book and easy read. I would recommend it to anyone that is processing or helping others process the journey from life to death.