How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life - Chasing Daylight

Rating is five stars!! Excellent guide to not only how to die well but how to live
wonderfully! I kept wanting to call the. author and share life experiences. This
is a terrific book for everyone!

I thought this would be a more humble account. Instead it was written by a man who probably didn't understand "humble" even at the end of his life. I thought his quest to close his relationships was a great idea while he still fortunately had some time and the mental capacity.

There is a peacefulness and great joy in this heartwarming story of fully living life even in the face of death. I am grateful for having had the experience of reading it and for the reminders of how to live life with gusto.

May you rest in peace...

Still just because this person is not with us anymore does not mean we will have to like his book...

not appealing... but do not want to write anything more as it may be insulting for a person who has passed away and his family

I found this book to be inspirational. I also found it to be painful to read. The author faces his own iminent death and does so with great dignity. There are great lessons to be learned but it is nonetheless a difficult topic and a difficult read.

I kept waiting for anger, frustration.....cancer is so unfair. Why me? Why now? Wtf? Nope, a perfect person in life and death. Always behaving and the book serves as witness to the perfect human example of how someone should behave right up to the very end. His wife proclaims at the end that they passed this final test. And, you can too! By following these five simple steps.
How fortunate to be so wealthy that he can indulge in these ways. Trips, private jets, golf, wine, planning a funeral for 700 people? Yes, I suppose you can't buy time, but how many people can relate practically? No surprise, he started a fund for cancer survivors. Just checking off another box before dying. I should have stopped reading because now I am just annoyed.

This could have been informative on the parting process, but instead we are treated to insights such as: the perfect parting gift for his daughter was to be a private jet trip to Europe. How he loved to play the various golf courses in Scotland.

I am sure the intent was honest but the book is about views and a life that very few people alive can relate to. His quest towards 'consciousness' is confusing to say the least.

What started off promising wandered into a self congratulating accountant's mind set. I think his intentions were good but his thinking was too methodical for me personally. I also can't indentify with rich people who have 1000 friends to say good bye to. Funny how his company is now being sued for questionable accounting practices. I wonder if he was involved in this.

Many reviewers have listed things they don't like about this book. They don't like the fact that the author spent much of the book recapping his business successes. They don't like the fact that he spent so much time "unwinding" (i. e., making final contact and closure with) somewhere between 500 and 1,000 friends and acquaintances, instead of spending more time with his wife and daughter. Some question his decision to write this book rather than spend time with his family.
Although I might have similar feelings, my view is that these were decisions for the author to make; it wasn't his responsibility to live his final months in a way acceptable to others
So, was his book a self-indulgent exercise, or does it have valuable lessons for those of us who might find ourselves in a similar situation? To be honest, I didn't find a lot of value in the book. But there are many four and five-star reviews here that show the book was helpful to many others. So, read some other reviews and decide if it might be helpful for you.

Chasing Daylight is a memoir by Gene O'Kelly, one-time CEO of KPMG whose career, and even life are abruptly put on notice. The memoir examines the three months between the time O'Kelly was first diagnosed in June 2005, ending with a chapter authored by his wife Corinne that chronicles the final days.

Just as it is not customary to critique a dead man, one cannot critique his decisions and actions. However, one can critique the book especially as there are lessons to be learnt in O'Kelly's final days.

The clarity of his thoughts and decisiveness in accepting his “fate” really stand out. And so is O'Kelly's description of his struggle in trying to stay in the present without dwelling in the past. A business-management approach to “closure” by listing a concentric circle of friends and associates made for an interesting read. Mr. O'Kelly's views on afterlife might resonate with those of us who have religious beliefs. Even for those without such beliefs, his recommendation on having "Perfect" moments and days are probably relevant.

No simple answers when it comes to views and values on life and death but books like this are sure to add to one’s perspectives.

There were crystalline jewels of insight - Perfect Moments, to borrow the author's terminology, such as his wife's observation that "when you are motivated by fear, you are not able to see the best path -- whether in death or in life."

Unfortunately, their number was insufficient to counter-balance a narrative that I found off-putting in its tone, which often felt didactic to me, and if not that, then so striving for perfection in Mr. O'Kelly's dying process that it almost became competitive.

I also didn't like the occasional comparisons between how well Mr. O'Kelly died versus others, who evidently didn't do it as well. Or how character or moral defects were the reason why some resisted Mr. O'Kelly's unwinding protocols.

I found it difficult to reconcile the author's attempt to let go and to unwind his worldly ties in beautiful and meaningful ways, with a seeming need to choreograph the most minute actions, even beyond his death.

On the other hand, I respect that this book reflected his personal story, which was in accordance with his unique personality, his natural bent. He even touched on that a little by acknowledging how an accountant's world view (and a CEO's) complemented or ran counter to the process of living while dying.

This book is phenomenal. Those with a Type A personality will certainly appreciate the approach the author took to put closure on his impending death. Since another reader had mentioned that Joan Didion's "The Year of Magical Thinking" was better, I had decided to read both books. I absolutely loved Chasing Daylight better although both books have value.

"Chasing Daylight" deals with the author's approach to putting closure on his life three months before his death; therefore, the book is more about life than death. Didion's book is about one person's disjointed feelings regarding the death of her husband and sickness of her child within days of each other. It offers a good look into the confused state of the grieving person. Both books look at life and death from different angles.

"Chasing Daylight" certainly makes one think of what is important in their life. I highly recommend it as reading for all--especially Type A people. I do not feel the author was too businesslike as suggested by another reader. I felt he dealt with his impending death head on and developed extremely important insights. One insight was about commitment. Commitment is not what most people think and this author touched on it perfectly. Commitment is not about how much time you put in at work or on a particular task or personal event. It's about the quality of that time and how passionate you are about that commitment. For those of you working all those long hours, you'll probably think twice after reading this book.

Live in the present moment. That's what Eastern religions say. Its what our children and our pets and all of nature teach us. The message is everywhere if you just open yourself to it. Why then, do we chase time and always focus on the future at the expense of the here and now? Part of the answer might lie in our consumer culture that teaches us that having more will solve our problems. There is a pill for every ailment and the sacrificing the present moment will make the future brighter (i.e. I'll do that when I retire). None of this is true of course. Once you realize that, it gets much easier to appreciate the present moment. Enjoy your journey.

I approached this book very skeptically, because I wondered why a man with three months to live would spend it writing a book. I also wondered what wisdom a self admitted "Type A" CEO could impart on me about living in the moment and the dying process.

What I found was a profoundly beautiful and poignant account of one man's process into self awareness and how he reached his goal of dying with the highest level of consciousness that he could attain. Gene, true to his detail oriented personality, very methodically planned his "unwindings" with "friends", planning "Perfect Moments" that they both would appreciate. He admittedly spent too long--three weeks-- on his outermost circle of friends. I also wished, as some have noted, that Gene would have scheduled the trip with Gina to Prague earlier in his illness. The key was that he understood and accepted his body's limitations and thus was, as his wife said, "the beginning of his transition." He seemed to embrace this transition with the same energy that made him a success in his business.

I think this book shows us that it doesn't matter when you realize that your life is a journey and to enjoy living in the moment. Obviously, if you understand that message earlier along your journey, you will have a more peaceful (and possibly more enjoyable) life. What really matters though, is that you realize that truth sometime in your life, and from that you set a goal to attain the highest level of awareness that you can. Since not all of us know the moment of our death, it makes good sense to learn it sooner rather than later.

This book is an outstanding and extraordinary treasure. There are some books available about life and dying. Eugene O'Kelly's and Corinne O'Kelly's book is a unique contribution.

Some critics are focusing on the judgement of Eugene O'Kelly's way to proceed after he got his brain cancer diagnose. This is the wrong way. The right way is to judge oneself about the way to live and prepare for death. I found the book in the list of the 100 Best Business Books of all Time. A very important recommendation which everybody should follow, whether in business, whether struggling for a better life, and a better preparation for the time which comes for all of us. To Corinne O'Kelly and Eugene O'Kelly: many thanks and my deepest respect.

Eugene O'Kelly's Chasing Daylight is moving and eloquent. The memoir depicts the 3.5 months between O'Kelly's diagnosis with terminal brain cancer and his death on September 10, 2005. To write this book was an act of supreme grace and courage. The volume was completed and published following O'Kelly's death.

In Chasing Daylight, O'Kelly details his efforts to create Perfect Moments and Perfect Days in the remaining time allotted to him, as well as his "unwindings"-- his goodbyes to colleagues, friends and family. These discoveries of self, relationship and spirit under immense pressure are all the more impressive because O'Kelly's professional life as CEO of accounting giant KPMG Peat Marwick did little to prepare him for a journey of discovery, especially in the shadow of impending death.

Eugene O'Kelly teaches us all how to live and die with honor, integity and love. Chasing Daylight is a gift from a wise and generous soul and deserves careful attention, as does the beautifully written afterword by Corinne O'Kelly, O'Kelly's wife.

I purchased this book because I wanted to believe that a CEO of a company like KPMG wouldn't be able to deal with the very tender side of life that comes with the promise of death.

But I was proved wrong. Very wrong. Not only could this man head a multi-national corporation, but his ability to plan and execute his personal and business "to-do" lists, even at a time when procrastination wasn't an option, was amazing. His story is inspiring and at the same time makes me feel like a very-average Joe American Couch Potato.

I'm dying to know what type of mediation he practiced near the end, as this seemed to help him tremendously with the mental and physical passage from life to death. That transition can be very turbulent for those who haven't prepared as he did through meditation.

I honestly don't know how a reviewer could call this a "Christian Book," it is actually just a very human, very real book that is a great reminder that death is always close so enjoy your life like you stole it, before death steals it back from you.

This man was an expert at time management and his love of work seems to be balanced with his love for his family.

Every action, according to Newton's 3rd law, has its reaction. Beginning and ending; hello and goodbye; birth and death; meeting and parting. This book is about the BIG parting: A man from his life, wife, and family. Mr. O'Kelly faced imminent death with determination and curiosity. In the process, he wrote a book that is both touching and instructive; a book to be read and reread.

This is a very personal exploration of one person's transition from this life. I found it especially relevant to me because I lost my wife to cancer in 2000. Her period from diagnosis to death was only a month, and much wound up left unsaid and undone as we both dealt in our own ways with that nasty turn of events. Mr. O'Kelly's passage from this life shows us that courage is not the absence of fear; it is going ahead in spite of it.

Mr. O'Kelly talks about being blessed in several ways, by this twist of life that caused his death. One way is that, unlike many people, he had time to prepare for his death and to say goodbye to the people that had meaning in his life. Another rare "blessing" is that his particular type of brain tumor carried with it no pain and had a gradual lessening of the senses which meant that he was able to carry on physically and mentally during the 3+ months he had left. That concept would be actually terrifying to some people; Mr. O'Kelly chose to make the most of it and to "control" his death much as he had striven to control his life.

I would recommend this for those of you who have had to deal with the death of someone close. In addition, you might also read "Life After Love" by Bob Deits and "The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion."

This book defers from other similar memoirs mainly in terms of its lack of sentimentality. It is not completely cold but the way that the author describes the process he goes through, makes you understand why he had such success career wise. He had a smooth methodological way of approaching things that enabled him to probably more quickly come to terms with his condition and deal with the matters at hand.

Who would I recommend this book to?

I would recommend this book to anyone who is dealing with death. As I went through the book I was constantly reminded of the time I had to deal with a close friend's passing. Up to 6 months before, I probably had an inkling that she was going away soon but I refused to face it. This book in a sense shows a way of dealing with death that is beautiful.

At an age when many are just hitting their stride, O'Kelly seemed to have already done it all. Except facing death.

Rather than railing at the prospect of dying, he took his new situation as an opportunity to revamp his life and see anew perfect moments which once slid by almost unnoticed.

Touching? Yes. But more important is the lesson gently offered: Be alive to those moments of perfection. Appreciate them for the gifts they are.

Highly recommended.

Phyllis Staff, Ph.D.
author:
"How to Find Great Senior Housing," and
"128 Ways to Prevent Alzheimer's and Other Dementias"

After living his life for his future, Gene O'Kelly went to the doctor one day to find out after never being sick that he had less than five months to live. That was it, nothing could be done to save him. Cancer. No pain, no warning, nothing. The only thing I can say to anyone, including myself after reading this book, is to live your life for today, this moment, right now. Don't live in the past, and do not live for the future. The past is gone, and the future might never come.

To write a book as eloquent as this during his last four months of life could not have been easy, but Mr. O'Kelly left everyone who reads this a tremendous lesson on what is important in life. Slow down. Enjoy what is important and treausre your family. Balance between work and family life is vital.

A quick read that will shift your perspective for the better! We've all heard the old adage that we should slow down, enjoy life and not take tomorrow for granted, yet seeing this idea manifested through the eyes of a highly successful CEO diagnosed with cancer and given months to live, truly helps one see and almost experience it, as he did. His insights and advice about living and dying are sincerely profound. It's a book I'll reread from time to time, just to keep me centered.

I see a CEO / Chairman at his pending death, still actively to live out his life using the same principles that has guided all his life to be become sucessful at the top of the career. Honestly I don't think he really got the meaning of the living in presence. It's not a matter of whether this is good or bad. Having forced to live his last 3 months of life, dealing with things that has imminent importance is not exactly same as living in the presence. He said his life is transformed due to this "lucky" death. Through his book I can not deduce this conclusion. It is difficult to imagine for a dying person to spend considerable amount of the time to write a book of such which mostly anncoucing how satisfied and devoted he was with his career and avoid all the negatives things which was mentioned very briefly, eg. the problem when saying good-bye to some relatives. I felt overall O'Kelly painted a very biased or glorified life of his own. His life overall seemed to be perfect except that he couldn't have spend some more time with his inner circles. It's maybe harsh to say so to a person who is now past away. But having a book published is to scrutinize oneself in front of others and shall accept others' opinion. There is no disrepect in this.

In May 2005 Mr OKelly was a well respected highly successful CEO in the prime of his life with a schedule planned 18 months in advance. That all changed when he found out about his brain tumor. I read this in one sitting (in 100 degree weather) and highly recommend it for its honesty and spirit. While I didnt gain any deep earth shattering insights I still think Mr Kelly did a good job reminding us to stop and smell the roses ... before it's too late.