The Feminine Mystique (50th Anniversary Edition)

ByBetty Friedan

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Readers` Reviews

★ ★ ★ ★ ★
lily anne
I purchased this book for my 15 year old daughter but read it first. Wow this book is an important read. Despite the fact it is about women's experience I feel the topic has relevance for a much wider modern audience who are struggling with identity and manipulation in this corporate based society. I am so glad I have armed my daughter with this book and its advice
★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
brett
I really like the book for the historical significance of what it did for women, and how groundbreaking the subject was at the time, but Friedan lost me when she started comparing housewifery to being in a concentration camp.

Friedan has good ideas and she did some commendable research, but she lets her emotions get in the way of her point
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
lavinia
I highly recommend reading this book. I left my career 5 years ago to begin raising a family. Since then, I have been suffering a life of quiet desperation and solitude, compounded by a feeling of privileged guilt. While actively taking steps to alter my situation, I am flummoxed 1.) that I have not read The Feminine Mystique sooner, and 2.) how much of it resonates with me 50 years hence.
I Feel Bad About My Neck :: All About Love: New Visions :: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women - The Beauty Myth :: And What We Can Learn from Them - Bad Girls of the Bible :: The Player
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
risma muthia
If I were a woman suffering from this problem with no name, I would have gone mad. This book is such a good look into the lives of women in the 50s. I would highly recommend this book and have. Arrived in good condition and in time.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
alaa amr
We, as Americans, should be required to read about the feminist movement, the fight for unions, wars fought by the United States and the Civil Rights Movement. Then perhaps we would not have Mr Trump as president.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
visesten
Betty Friedan is justly called the founder of second wave feminism. Her thesis, the "mystique," is well thought-out and well supported. Women had previously won the right to vote and gone out to work. So, what sinister force brainwashed a whole generation and put them back in the kitchen?

In the later chapters, Friedan explores the mystique's impact on successive generations. With hindsight, the reader can see that these pathologies were not due to sexism alone. Women were just the first victims.

Equality came, not with the liberation of women, but with the equal debilitation of men. It had become the American Mystique.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
sean mahan
I ordered this and The Female Eunuch for my daughter because she kept asking me what the big deal was - geesh! Like my example was not enough! So I decided she needed the contextual conversation - this was one of my favorite books when it came out: it was instrumental in forming my persona in the work and home life around me and provided the lifelong example for my daughter who benefits from the "struggle" to equalize her life. Thank goodness she never knew the actuality of living it and finds it hard to believe the way it was. She loved this edition because it was the original and she said part of the pleasure of receiving it was the "historical smell" of enduring truth! I did good - thanks to the the store merchant!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
julie frost
I bought this book because my puppy ripped the cover of the copy I borrowed from my public library. I had to find the same edition that had been destroyed as a replacement and this was it. I've got to say that this book was in such great condition that it looked new. I am glad I was able to replace the book I damaged with a copy that was in a much better condition.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
lyman
I loved this book. It was extremely inspiring and resourceful, especially if you want to learn more about gender relations in the U.S.

It focuses on the time period after the war, and how gender binaries were very explicit. It also intersects with psychology and work- and most importantly the value of men's work versus women's work (domestic housework).

Only lacking was women of color and non-heterosexuality differences.

Still for a beginners course to feminism and gender studies, this is a great place to start.
★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
pei pei
Published in the 1960s, Friedan crafted an analysis of the mysterious "problem with no name," a phenomenon that was affecting women in the post-WWII era and beyond. According to Friedan, women were universally experiencing similar and alarming symptoms - depression, anger, addictions, low self-esteem, a vague sense of unfulfillment, ennui, and in extreme cases, suicide. What was causing this epidemic? Friedan proposed that they were suffering from a complaint she labeled "the feminine mystique."
It was a time of joy for all as soldiers returned victorious from WWII and immediately tried to forget the past behind them by returning to the workforce, marrying their childhood sweethearts, and beginning families in the beautiful new houses of 1950s American suburbia. The image of the happy housewife was propagated by society, and soon women began to believe happiness stemmed from being the perfect wife and mother, keeping their houses clean, and ignoring anything else that would distract them from that view. Unfortunately, this was not working, and no one seemed to have an answer for them until <The Feminine Mystique> hit the shelves.

*Spoilers:

<The Feminine Mystique> only gets a two-star rating primarily because Friedan's presentation of the facts was skewed and secondly because the solution to the problems she outlined ignored some classes of women and actually exploited another. The universal language of the work leads readers to believe that all women suffered from the same issues when in reality her group consisted of educated, white, middle-class, married women with children who had no occupation other than housekeeping. She entirely excluded non-white women, poor women, women who for a variety of reasons did not attend college, and women who fit her parameters but were actually content with their lives. For example, as part of her solution for this general dissatisfaction of women with their traditional roles, Friedan suggested that women who wished to be fulfilled should pursue meaningful work in order to stimulate their minds. This is a great answer, except that Friedan advocated leaving the housework to a cleaning lady. Again, not an issue until these substitutes were painted as feeble-minded women who were capable only of menial tasks. There was no justice for these women of a lower class or different race who either could not afford or were not allowed to go to college and fulfill their desire for more meaningful work; unfortunately a typical view of that day.
Altogether, <The Feminine Mystique> is an interesting read, but should be taken with a grain of salt (or several).
★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
manon
Betty Friedan's 1962 classic on feminism, based on her own interviews as well as research by others, like: Sigmund Freud (who she generally disagrees with), Margaret Mead, Dr. Alfred Kinsey, and Henry Maslow, provides insight into the status of American women of that era. Those who chose housewifery over higher education are especially maligned, less so are those who became educated and then obtained an MRS. According to Friedan, most women of that time felt unfulfilled living the life of a hausfrau. Each chapter covers a different aspect of the "feminine mystique" aka "mystique," phrases used interchangeably and occurring about 200 times in the book. "The problem that has no name" seems to be that American women were kept from growing to their full capacities due to the expectations of others. The author provides alternately what seems like reasonable, reliable information on women, for example, the attitude of many men (and probably some women) that they needn't bother becoming educated because they will become wives and mothers anyway, as well as contentions and conclusions (sometimes based on others' research) that are excessively inflammatory or just plain wrong. Among them, the comparison of housewife wannabes with concentration camp victims, (p 423) `...the women...who grow up wanting to be "just a housewife," are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps...' and that mothers are at least partially to blame for schizophrenia, (p 414) `As for the causes, the authorities felt that they "must examine the personality of the mother, who is the medium through which the primitive infant transforms himself into a socialized human being."' This sort of heavy-handedness is a major turnoff of the book. Ms. Friedan, founder of the National Organization for Women, fit the role of educated unsatisfied housewife that she wrote of so extensively (and had some pretty unconventional political views). In the epilogue she tells about her divorce (in 1969) after which she felt "less lonely than any time in her life."

As a college-educated mom, I too cringe every time I write "housewife" on the line marked "Occupation," but thankfully, gone are the days when women chose not to bother with college because being a wife and mother was so important. Hopefully, women who choose to have children and can afford to do so will make the choice that is best for their children (tougher than any paying job I've ever had). The Feminine Mystique was a landmark book in the 1960s, and contains information that is both timeless and timely, spot on and off the mark. I found some of the historical information and research particularly interesting, but her personal interviews with women generally awful. Those who loved this book will likely also enjoy: The Awakening by Kate Chopin, Loving Frank by Nancy Horan, The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, Servants of the Map by Andrea Barrett, and Runaway by Alice Munro.
★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
anna armstrong
The book cover was as shown on the site. However, the pages were shown to be worn and faded. I did not get the full refund due to restocking fee. Very disappointed as I wanted the book. I will reorder elsewhere.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
polej
This book was first published in 1963. The National Organization for Women was founded by Betty Friedan and others in 1966. But the various radical groups of women date to around 1967 or '68, with the first mass demonstrations on Aug, 26, 1970 (the 50th anniversary of women winning the right to vote). I was at the demonstration of around 35,000 in New York City. I had by 1970 read the book, and I had also read the first edition in pamphlet form of the book Problems of Women's Liberation. It was written by the Marxist anthropologist Evelyn Reed, and contained essays and speeches written between 1954 and 1970.

Below are excerpts from her essay on The Feminine Mystique, which is included in that book:

The Feminine Mystique is an outstanding sociological study -- an overdue challenge to the mercenary mythmakers who have invented the glorified image of the Happy Housewife Heroine and imposed it upon American women.

"The author, a mother of three children, analyzes the plight of women like herself who belong to the privileged upper middle strata of American society. Most women have no choice except to be tied to a household or chained to a factory or office job -- or both. But the women that Betty Friedan examines are more fortunate. They have access to all the advantages of our culture -- education, scholarship, interesting and well-paying professions. And yet most of them have forfeited development of their higher capacities to enroll in the ranks listed as: "Occupation: housewife."

"Exposed by the author are the realities behind the show-windows of Suburbia where female residents suffer agonies from "a problem that has no name." This is their inability to "adjust" to their narrow, stultifying sphere of existence. She also describes the catastrophic consequences that this debasement of women inflicts upon the whole family. Few escape the pathology flowing from the "Feminine Mystique."

"Betty Friedan's findings have a wider relevance than the well-to-do housewives she has investigated. These set the pattern of behavior and aspiration for working-class housewives, who mistakenly believe that because middle-class women have all the advantages, they also have all the answers. In this way distorted ideas and values seep down to infect masses of women, including some working women who wonder whether they might not lead a better life as a full-time housewife. This book should help settle their doubts.

"The Feminine Mystique is a modernized version of the old formula for domestic enslavement more bluntly expressed as "Woman's place is in the home." The new element is the poisoned bait of the Mystique by which women today are voluntarily lured back into the trap that their grandmothers fought to escape from.

"Betty Friedan reminds us that in the nineteenth century and in the first decades of the twentieth, progressive middle-class women led an inspiring "feminist" struggle for women's rights. Out of this rebellion they won the right to higher education, participation in production, professional careers, independent ownership of property and the vote. These reforms were an immense improvement over their previous chatteldom, and could have been a springboard to further advances to full human stature and dignity.

"Instead, the Second World War and its aftermath brought about a sweeping setback, characterized by the author as a "counter-revolution" against women. The call for this retreat was sounded by Farnham & Lundberg's book Modern Woman: The Lost Sex, published in 1942. The "lost" women were the independent ones interested in science, art, politics and engaged in careers beyond the family circle.

"In place of intelligent, creative, public-spirited women came the new image of the "feminine" woman -- the empty-headed housewife contented within the "cozy" walls of a pretty home. As the Mystique gained momentum, domesticity became "a religion, a pattern by which all women must now live or deny their femininity," writes the author. What began as a trek back to the old corral became a stampede during the prosperity of the 1950's.

"To mobilize women behind their own defeat, facts about the pioneer fighters for women's rights were distorted. Although most of the feminist crusaders had husbands, children and homes, they were depicted as "embittered sex-starved spinsters" incapable of fulfilling their "femininity" as wives and mothers. Among the unforgivable traits of these spirited women was their enjoyment of participation in the struggle for social change!...

"The sicknesses that Betty Friedan describes with so much penetration and courage are the products of a diseased social organism, in which the rights, welfare and opportunities of human beings are subjected to the dictates of the profiteers. During a capitalist war women can be taken out of their homes by the millions and put to work in the factories. But when they are no longer needed as producers, they are sent back home to become primarily consumers. In both instances, what is decisive is not the needs of women as human beings but the interests of the monopolists. These masters of America shape the lives and livelihoods of womanhood and the whole family according to their own corrupt and corrupting aims.

"Woman's destiny cannot be fundamentally transformed until this truth is understood and acted upon. The feminists of the past could achieve their limited reforms within the framework of a still-ascending capitalism. But today it has become dead-end capitalism. It is good but not enough for women to become more social-minded, as Betty Friedan advocates. They should now become socialist-minded, because only a root-and-branch change in the whole venal system can save us all from further dehumanization."

While many gains of the women's liberation movement (or second wave of feminism) have stayed with us, much has been lost. To cite just the most obvious, in most counties in the US, legal abortion is not available, and new restrictive bills are being introduced all the time at every level of government. Sometimes one wins in court challenges, sometimes one loses. But the strategy of relying on electing Democrats instead of mobilizing women in huge numbers to protest and to defend abortion clinics loses over and over again. (For a good essay on what else has been lost see the introduction by Mary Alice Waters to Cosmetics, Fashions, and the Exploitation of Women), which also has contributions by Evelyn Reed and Joseph Hansen.

Marxism has a lot to offer those looking to understand the nature of women's oppression, and how to end it. A good place to start is with Feminism and the Marxist Movement. Then to the classics, The Communist Manifesto and Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State.

For what women won and then lost in the Russian Revolution, see Women and the Family. For what they won and kept in the Cuban Revolution, see Women in Cuba: The making of a revolution within the revolution. From Santiago de Cuba and the Rebel Army, to the birth of the Federation of Cuban Women,Women and the Cuban Revolution: Speeches and Documents by Fidel Castro, Vilma Espín, and others, and Marianas in Combat: Tete Puebla and the Mariana Grajales Women's Platoon in Cuba's Revolutionary War 1956-58.

And be sure to also read Women's Liberation and the African Freedom Struggle.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
andrew mcburney
Betty Friedan (1921-2006) was an American writer, activist, and feminist, who became one of the leading figures of the feminist movement with the publication of this book. She was founder of, and first president of the National Organization for Women (NOW). She also wrote Fountain of Age,Life So Far: A Memoir,It Changed My Life: Writings on the Women's Movement, and Beyond Gender: The New Politics of Work and Family. [NOTE: page numbers below refer to the 420-page 1975 Dell paperback edition.]

She wrote in the Preface to this 1963 book, “Gradually… I came to realize that something is very wrong with the way American women are trying to live their lives today. I sensed it first as a question mark in my own life, as a wife and mother of three children… almost in spite of myself… It was this personal question mark that led me, in 1957, to spend a great deal of time doing an extensive questionnaire of my college classmates, fifteen years after our graduation from Smith. The answers given by 200 women … made me realize that what was wrong could not be related to education… There was a strange discrepancy between the reality of our lives as women and the image to which we were trying to conform, the image that I came to call the feminine mystique. I wondered if other women faced this schizophrenic split… And so I began to hunt down the origins of the feminine mystique, and its effect on women who lived by it, or grew up under it… But the puzzle did not begin to fit together until I interviewed… eighty women at certain crucial points in their life cycle… These women, some tortured, some serene, gave me the final clues, and the most damning indictment of the feminine mystique.”

She begins the first chapter [“The Problem That Has No Name”] with the statement, “The problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the twentieth century in the United States. Each suburban housewife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries… ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Boy Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night---she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question, ‘Is this all?’” (Pg. 11)

She begins the third chapter with the statement, “I discovered a strange thing, interviewing women of my own generation over the past ten years. When we were growing up, many of us could not see ourselves beyond the age of twenty-one. We had no image of our own future, of ourselves as women.” (Pg. 62) Later, she adds, “What if the terror a girl faces at twenty-one, when she must decide who she will be, is simply the terror of growing up… as women were not permitted to grow before?... What if those who choose the path of ‘feminine adjustment’ … are simply refusing… to face the question of their own identity? Mine was the first college generation to run head-on into the new mystique of feminine fulfillment… There was a sense… that we would be New Women. Forty percent of my college class at Smith had career plans. But I remember how… some of the seniors, suffering the pangs of that bleak fear of the future, envied the few who escaped it by getting married right away.” (Pg. 68-69)

She argues, “Powerful forces in this nation must be served by those pretty domestic pictures that stare at us everywhere, forbidding a woman to use her own abilities in the world. The preservation of the feminine mystique … could have implications that are not sexual at all… America depends rather heavily on women’s passive dependence, their femininity. Femininity… makes American women a target and a victim of the sexual sell.” (Pg. 196)

She asserts, “The feminists … fought for and won the rights to new, fully human identity for women. But how very few of their daughters and granddaughters have chosen to use their education and their abilities for any large creative purpose, for responsible work in society? How many of them have been deceived … into clinging to the outgrown, childlike femininity of ‘Occupation: housewife’? … If women do not put forth, finally, the effort to become all that they have it in them to become, they will forfeit their own humanity. A woman today who has no goal, no purpose, no ambition patterning her days into the future… is committing a kind of suicide… Only by such a personal commitment to the future can American women break out of the housewife trap and truly find fulfillment as wives and mothers---by fulfilling their own unique possibilities as separate human beings.” (Pg. 324-325)

In a rather more controversial section, she suggests, “there is an uncanny, uncomfortable insight into why a woman can so easily lose her sense of self as a housewife in certain psychological observations made on the behavior of prisoners in Nazi concentration camps… Those who ‘adjusted’ to the conditions of the camps surrendered their human identity and went almost indifferently to their deaths. Strangely enough, the conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were… conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” (Pg. 294) She continues, “is her house in reality a comfortable concentration camp? Have not women who live in the image of the feminine mystique trapped themselves within the narrow walls of their homes? They have learned to ‘adjust’ to their biological role.” (Pg. 296) She concludes this chapter, “The suburban house is not a German concentration camp, nor are American housewives on their way to the gas chamber. But they are in a trap, and to escape they must… finally exercise their human freedom, and recapture their sense of self. They must refuse to be nameless, depersonalized, manipulated, and live their own lives again according to a self-chosen purpose. They must begin to grow.” (Pg. 298)

She concludes, “when women as well as men emerge from biological living to realize their human selves, those leftover halves of life may become their years of greatest fulfillment. Then the split in the image will be healed, and daughters will not face that humping-off point at twenty-one or forty-one. When their mothers’ fulfillment makes girls sure they want to be women, they will not have to ‘beat themselves down’ to be feminine; they can stretch and stretch until their own efforts will tell them who they are. They will not need the regard or boy or man to feel alive. And when women do not need to live through their husbands and children, men will not fear the love and strength of women, nor need another’s weakness to prove their own masculinity. They can finally see each other as they are. And this may be the next step in human evolution. Who knows what women can be when they are finally free to become themselves? Who knows what women’s intelligence will contribute when it can be nourished without denying love? Who knows of the possibilities of love when men and women share not only children, home, and garden, not only the fulfillment of their biological roles, but the responsibilities and passions of the work that creates the human future and the full human knowledge of who they are? It has barely begun, the search of women for themselves. But the time is at hand when the voice of the feminine mystique can no longer drown out the inner voice that is driving women on to become complete.” (Pg. 363-364)

Certainly, one can criticize Friedan’s book as being too “culture-specific” (i.e., upper-class white ivy league college-educated women); but everyone must appreciate that hers was a strong voice giving a “name” to a definite problem---that has, of course, been much more exhaustively defined in the subsequent women’s movement. (Friedan herself has greatly broadened her scope in her subsequent books, it should be noted.) Although some parts of the book may seem too “genteel” in these “Third Wave” and “postfeminist” days, other parts still blaze with the fiery truth they originally articulated. This book remains absolute “must reading” for anyone studying the women’s movement, or the position of women in society.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
cindel tiausas
Betty Friedan (1921-2006) was an American writer, activist, and feminist, who became one of the leading figures of the feminist movement with the publication of this book. She was founder of, and first president of the National Organization for Women (NOW). She also wrote Fountain of Age,Life So Far: A Memoir,It Changed My Life: Writings on the Women's Movement, and Beyond Gender: The New Politics of Work and Family. [NOTE: page numbers below refer to the 420-page 1975 Dell paperback edition.]

She wrote in the Preface to this 1963 book, “Gradually… I came to realize that something is very wrong with the way American women are trying to live their lives today. I sensed it first as a question mark in my own life, as a wife and mother of three children… almost in spite of myself… It was this personal question mark that led me, in 1957, to spend a great deal of time doing an extensive questionnaire of my college classmates, fifteen years after our graduation from Smith. The answers given by 200 women … made me realize that what was wrong could not be related to education… There was a strange discrepancy between the reality of our lives as women and the image to which we were trying to conform, the image that I came to call the feminine mystique. I wondered if other women faced this schizophrenic split… And so I began to hunt down the origins of the feminine mystique, and its effect on women who lived by it, or grew up under it… But the puzzle did not begin to fit together until I interviewed… eighty women at certain crucial points in their life cycle… These women, some tortured, some serene, gave me the final clues, and the most damning indictment of the feminine mystique.”

She begins the first chapter [“The Problem That Has No Name”] with the statement, “The problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the twentieth century in the United States. Each suburban housewife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries… ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Boy Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night---she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question, ‘Is this all?’” (Pg. 11)

She begins the third chapter with the statement, “I discovered a strange thing, interviewing women of my own generation over the past ten years. When we were growing up, many of us could not see ourselves beyond the age of twenty-one. We had no image of our own future, of ourselves as women.” (Pg. 62) Later, she adds, “What if the terror a girl faces at twenty-one, when she must decide who she will be, is simply the terror of growing up… as women were not permitted to grow before?... What if those who choose the path of ‘feminine adjustment’ … are simply refusing… to face the question of their own identity? Mine was the first college generation to run head-on into the new mystique of feminine fulfillment… There was a sense… that we would be New Women. Forty percent of my college class at Smith had career plans. But I remember how… some of the seniors, suffering the pangs of that bleak fear of the future, envied the few who escaped it by getting married right away.” (Pg. 68-69)

She argues, “Powerful forces in this nation must be served by those pretty domestic pictures that stare at us everywhere, forbidding a woman to use her own abilities in the world. The preservation of the feminine mystique … could have implications that are not sexual at all… America depends rather heavily on women’s passive dependence, their femininity. Femininity… makes American women a target and a victim of the sexual sell.” (Pg. 196)

She asserts, “The feminists … fought for and won the rights to new, fully human identity for women. But how very few of their daughters and granddaughters have chosen to use their education and their abilities for any large creative purpose, for responsible work in society? How many of them have been deceived … into clinging to the outgrown, childlike femininity of ‘Occupation: housewife’? … If women do not put forth, finally, the effort to become all that they have it in them to become, they will forfeit their own humanity. A woman today who has no goal, no purpose, no ambition patterning her days into the future… is committing a kind of suicide… Only by such a personal commitment to the future can American women break out of the housewife trap and truly find fulfillment as wives and mothers---by fulfilling their own unique possibilities as separate human beings.” (Pg. 324-325)

In a rather more controversial section, she suggests, “there is an uncanny, uncomfortable insight into why a woman can so easily lose her sense of self as a housewife in certain psychological observations made on the behavior of prisoners in Nazi concentration camps… Those who ‘adjusted’ to the conditions of the camps surrendered their human identity and went almost indifferently to their deaths. Strangely enough, the conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were… conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” (Pg. 294) She continues, “is her house in reality a comfortable concentration camp? Have not women who live in the image of the feminine mystique trapped themselves within the narrow walls of their homes? They have learned to ‘adjust’ to their biological role.” (Pg. 296) She concludes this chapter, “The suburban house is not a German concentration camp, nor are American housewives on their way to the gas chamber. But they are in a trap, and to escape they must… finally exercise their human freedom, and recapture their sense of self. They must refuse to be nameless, depersonalized, manipulated, and live their own lives again according to a self-chosen purpose. They must begin to grow.” (Pg. 298)

She concludes, “when women as well as men emerge from biological living to realize their human selves, those leftover halves of life may become their years of greatest fulfillment. Then the split in the image will be healed, and daughters will not face that humping-off point at twenty-one or forty-one. When their mothers’ fulfillment makes girls sure they want to be women, they will not have to ‘beat themselves down’ to be feminine; they can stretch and stretch until their own efforts will tell them who they are. They will not need the regard or boy or man to feel alive. And when women do not need to live through their husbands and children, men will not fear the love and strength of women, nor need another’s weakness to prove their own masculinity. They can finally see each other as they are. And this may be the next step in human evolution. Who knows what women can be when they are finally free to become themselves? Who knows what women’s intelligence will contribute when it can be nourished without denying love? Who knows of the possibilities of love when men and women share not only children, home, and garden, not only the fulfillment of their biological roles, but the responsibilities and passions of the work that creates the human future and the full human knowledge of who they are? It has barely begun, the search of women for themselves. But the time is at hand when the voice of the feminine mystique can no longer drown out the inner voice that is driving women on to become complete.” (Pg. 363-364)

Certainly, one can criticize Friedan’s book as being too “culture-specific” (i.e., upper-class white ivy league college-educated women); but everyone must appreciate that hers was a strong voice giving a “name” to a definite problem---that has, of course, been much more exhaustively defined in the subsequent women’s movement. (Friedan herself has greatly broadened her scope in her subsequent books, it should be noted.) Although some parts of the book may seem too “genteel” in these “Third Wave” and “postfeminist” days, other parts still blaze with the fiery truth they originally articulated. This book remains absolute “must reading” for anyone studying the women’s movement, or the position of women in society.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
kay duzynski
The feminist movement has come a long way since The Feminine Mystique was first published in 1963, but the battle is far from finished. This 50th anniversary edition includes an afterword by Betty Friedan, which was written in 1997, addressing the reason she wrote the book initially. She recalls that she brought up “the problem that had no name” because women were blamed then for a lot of the problems they faced including not getting the kitchen sink white enough, not pressing the husband’s shirt smooth enough, children’s bedwetting and ultimately their own lack of orgasm. In reality, the problem that Friedan uncovers is that the aspirations of women that rose above their perceived duty to the home, husband, and children were considered in some ways a betrayal. This betrayal served not only to undermine women’s own femininity, but it also posed a risk their husband’s masculinity and to the family unit at large.
In 1992, Hillary Clinton, then first lady of Arkansas, felt she had to defend her own professionalism. She received criticism for maintaining her job at a Little Rock law firm. During Bill Clinton’s campaign for the presidency, she addressed the criticism in an interview with ABC’s Nightline stating, "You know, I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession, which I entered before my husband was in public life." 50 years after The Feminine Mystique’s publication, Friedan’s work still provides a powerful context regarding the women’s movement from its origins to its ultimate destiny.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
carolyn steigleman
The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Friedan is a masterfully written story about how and why women, and housewives in particular came to be treated and thought of in a fragile manner. Though the novel was originally published in 1963, just about 55 years ago, it remains to be current in today’s society, especially now with the women's marches and feminism movements progressing. Friedan, artfully describes how women have been brainwashed by the media and propaganda into distorting their own perceptions of femininity, and how the woman should act in society and in regards to relationships. The novel is an entertaining example of exactly why women having careers does not take away or inhibit their ability to mother, and in reverse women who marry and have children at young ages should not feel limited or as though their lives are already over.
★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
liviu duta
Benjamin Disraeli married a woman with white hair, and he told her he married her for her money. Within 2 years, he told her he would have married her for her. How did she do that? She gave him a quiet place to live, was always pleasant... and was very low maintenance.
American Women want the perfect guys they read about in the WomenPorn called Romance Novels. Men like that don't exist; if they did exist, they have been hunted to extinction. Men already know that women in the USA hate them. The guy they had the great sex with- the tennis instructor, whatever, who was a bad boy, but didn't make much money- that's not the guy they marry, and then torment. No, they settle. American women are generally very high maintenance, and low to zero reward. It's like having a car that you have to tinker with daily, to keep running. I have known more than 100 men, above 38, who will never, ever get married again, due to what the ex put them through, in divorce court, and otherwise. Men who have intuition, and some do, feel these women out, and cloak up in invisibility to them. Settling. Yeah. Which means they will try to trade up. Women don't seem to understand that when they gut a man, and hang him up to bleed out in divorce court, that he's kind of messed up for the next woman... assuming he even wants another woman. The male counterpart to Betty is Tom Leykis. Men love listening to him, as much as some women enjoyed Gloria. It doesn't have to be this way. Walk the streets of France, or Spain, or Italy, see how women dress. Women are hot into their 60's in those countries, I mean hot. There are 80 year old women in France who dress well, and know how to run the vibes, and have lovers. One of the most fascinating things I've ever seen is feminists hit on men. Huh? Those men know they are FishBicycle candidates. They just say no. They know what kind of toxic futures these womyn offer. It is so easy for men to rate women. They see how much women respect them. Zero respect = crummy prospect. I know a guy who is 50. His wife dumped him, got custody of the kids, bled him out, and so on. He got custody of his kids, because she neglected them. He won't ever even get engaged, no, he just wants sex. Betty and her associates created him as he is...
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
vicki
Awesome book. Revamped and brought back to us in the 2000's. The wonderful thing about life now; is we as women change chose exactly what we want. We can be at home moms and housewives and its okay if its what we chose and NOT what is expected. We can be career women or both. This book bring courage and gives a name to how the UN-named problem women had back in the 60's. They done as expected and were afraid to talk about or change what tore them down as a person and woman. Back then women dealt with "That's not very lady like or feminine." Now... we bend feminine to who we are it fits us not the other way around.
I imagine a lot of women read these pages in the 60's and seen them self there printed on the page and suddenly knew... they were not alone, there was nothing wrong with them. This edition still offers courage and acceptance to be who you are and not what others want you to be... Every teen girl should read this as they embark on life and who they are beginning to become.
I received this book via goodreads and was very pleased and honored to have had the opportunity to read and own and SHARE
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
jamie kerr
Friedan challenges a 1950s-1960s America in thinking about the roles of women by exposing "the problem with no name". Housewives around the country struggled with identity issues that were ignored by men and women alike for years until the taboo subject was opened for discussion. The consequences for a male-dominated world were extensive where women dropped out of high school and college early to become a wife and adopted alcoholism and affairs for a way to feel something in their toxic, numb worlds. To identify and conform to the idea of what a woman was, they sacrificed more than they realized: education, happiness, and self-actualization for millions of women. Friedan analyzes statistics like a scientist, but takes a personal approach with her interviews. She rationally and logically exposes a corrupt and unjust way of thinking, however, her anecdotes lack diversity and intersectionality. A leap in the right direction for equality, but we have further to go.
★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
zinnober 9
How did housework get lumped in with child care? My educated female relatives didn't fall into that snare. Men were taking all the money and it's shocking what can happen when they do. I don't think we should have let them out of financial responsibility for siring children, I think that was a wrong move that has hindered our progress and continued to make women disgruntled 50-70 years later. Total brainwashing by the sexist world Betty etc was born into.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
dave hammer
Although Friedan's current role in the women's movement is hindered by her inability to "share" with other activists, this book takes the reader back to a day when she was one of the few voices to challenge pervading gender roles (even as she contended with an abusive husband)and treatment of women. While (being born in 1979) I was fortunate to have been raised without narrow gender roles, I can see where such socialization would have set previous generations up. My mother (who was an oddity because both her parents worked) does not conciously identify herself as feminist, but says this book strenghthened her independence.
Most of the facts, statistics and tables are obviously outdated (and therefore unusable to support current discrimination) but there are sections of the book which should be able to carry over into the 21st century. It is worth noting that with the exception of Simmone Beavior's Second Sex, there were few books at the time calling for women to be treated like human beings and equals.
Comparatively devoid of "controversial" issues (like GLBT rights) compared to other books, this gave Friedan the leeway needed to get her admittedly radical writting out to a larger audience. Friedan's status as a suburban middle class wife (despite her radical past with labor unionizing)gave her the protective covering necessary to raise this very important issue.
Even as I personally favor Gloria Steinem (who also understood that women's rights were interconnected with that of other oppressed groups) I found a lot to admire in this book. Friedan was clearly ahead of herself on this one, and problaly was unpreppared for the wave of positive (and some newgative) responses that followed the orginal publication of this book.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
ebaa mira
As someone new to reading the printed word on feminism, I find Friedan's style accessible and readable. The content is at once dated and amazingly contemporary.
I never knew the issues my mother had to deal with, or her mother. Learning something of the conditions in which they lived gave me a somewhat better understanding of why my mother acts as she does many times. It helps me to understand the helplessness of an entire generation of women, though I still find it somewhat difficult to completely excuse.
The image of women today, particularly that of the contemporary, suburban housewife could not be better described. It is strange to me that in a "modern" American, women are so complacent. Do they choose this, or is it as Friedan describes it? Are the ideas of feminism subliminated? Has the state of being a woman really changed all that much? Are the women who other women model themselves after, not the same toy people, fluffless creatures Friedan presents her reader?
A penetrating and well written feminist work. A classic worth reading and carefully considering.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
kami matteson
I can understand how Betty Friedan would be so alarmed as she looked at the world around her. She was an intelligent and well-educated woman who was looking to make a difference in the world, but when she looked around, what she found was a country full of women who were sleepwalking.

Many women at the time of this book had been convinced by teachers, by magazines, by advertising, by society at large, that they would miss out on their opportunities to find love and have children unless they were willing to drop all other ambition. As a result, there were huge numbers of intelligent women who focused their entire lives on having babies and doing housework. The very monotony of being a housewife was causing an epidemic of depression and malaise amongst women who were convinced they ought to be happy in their place.

This book goes on to explain why the situation exists in the first place--the reasons why it would be beneficial for certain groups to have bored women staying at home. The book also included numerous interviews with a variety of women as they stated over and over that being a housewife was simply not fulfilling on its own. It seems obvious today that people need something in their lives that challenges them and brings them joy, but for many women in the 1950s, there was simply no outlet for their intelligence and creativity.

I don't believe the solution is as simple as Friedan claimed--that all of these women should go out and get jobs. She made it seem as though juggling child care and housework as well as a job would be just as simple as staying at home. Growing up today and seeing so many women who do work, we know this isn't entirely true. I do think it's a positive sign, though, that for today's young women it is a possibility and in many cases even an expectation that they will be able to have children without giving up career ambition.

The sections on women causing their sons' homosexuality I skimmed over as an unfortunate and ridiculous belief of the time. Much of the rest of the book I found valuable, though, despite the fact that it was dated.

I feel lucky that I grew up in a time in which women had many more opportunities than the women in Betty Friedan's book. Society still has a ways to go in ensuring that women and men are both given fair opportunities, but I don't feel as though women are trapped by their biology in the same way that was so alarming to Friedan when she wrote this book.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
florish
"The Feminine Mystique" should be required reading for every American citizen. Shockingly few people know the history of the feminist movement in the US. My own mother (who was born in the 1950s) asked me when I was reading "The Feminine Mystique" if I thought it was "outdated." I was unclear what she meant by that; I suppose she was wondering if the material is no longer applicable to current times. I tried to impress upon her that it is a piece of history which seems to be largely overlooked by the general population- the amount of resistance to feminism I hear is appalling, especially considering the lack of knowledge people have concerning the subject. Not only is "The Feminine Mystique" a piece of history, but shockingly applicable to and informative on the state of gender roles in the US today, which seem to be a confused amalgamation of Victorian, 1950s housewife and ridiculously hypersexualized imagery which no woman could possibly live up to (and still maintain an individual sense of identity).
The other day I was at the gym and there was a show called "Millionaire Matchmaker" on (I believe it was MTV) where some horrible woman in LA runs a business telling women how to change their looks in order to hook them up with her millionaire clients. I honestly can't believe that stuff like that exists. Probably because most people aren't smart enough to even consider the negative consequences of gender stereotyping.
I guess I figure that anyone reading this review is in fact smart enough to realize these consequences, however. This (hopefully) being the case, PLEASE research the Victorian era, the first wave of the women's feminist and suffrage movement, then read "The Feminine Mystique" and a book like Sara Evans' "Personal Politics" that explains the second wave of the women's movement. You will not only develop a deeper understanding of history, but a deeper understanding of yourself as well. I try to stay away from making cheesy statements like that, but it's true.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
sharmaine dela cruz
After reading all the reviews I am shocked. Betty Friedan gave a voice to an experience that many women at the time were living through. Many of those posting have no idea the doors opened for women by Betty Friedan and others.

I found this book and a book called Fascinating Woman in the bookshelves at my house growing up. I was 10 in 1974. My mother and most of the women I grew up around where middle class, college educated, white women. Not one of them would have ever called themselves a feminist.

I have taken time off from work to until both of my sons are in school. Money is much tighter at home. But, I feel it is important. This book was written in the early 60's. In some ways we have come so far that younger women would not understand. In other ways the religious right has found a way to play on fear of change to some women.

All in all Betty a job well done!!!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
sherry feeser
To illustrate why this book has remained relevant and world-changing, to me and to all women (even those who don't live in the U.S. seem to be inspired by our freedoms) ...

The Feminine Mystique struck a major chord with me. It helped to validate a lot of my perceptions and to fuel my righteous rage about how society treated women. It clarified how hurt I felt, for being treated as "less than" because I'm a woman. The Feminine Mystique set fire to my soul because of Friedan's eloquent statements of basic truths, the exposure of so many societal prejudices all set down together to reveal the larger truth that women were just plain treated as inferior.

The Feminine Mystique isn't just social commentary. It and the unjust conditions that engendered it have affected women in fundamental ways. In my personal battles over injustices aimed at me for being a woman, The Feminine Mystique helped me to focus more clearly on my principles and to have confidence that my perceptions were true. It helped me to know that those injustices weren't "just in my mind."

Per the review saying, "I'm tired of anti-feminist rich republican wives putting down the feminist movement. It helped my life and that is all I can say about it," amen, sister!!! It makes me angry, too, when women are anti-feminist.

How can they not appreciate the tremendous strides made by women like Betty Friedan? Don't they appreciate those who struggled so they could own property? Don't they appreciate that women can legally escape from abusive husbands? Don't they appreciate that women can go to college and aren't required to wear dresses there anymore?Don't they appreciate that they can have jobs outside the home? Don't they appreciate that it's legal for them to use reliable birth control now, so they're not in as much danger of dying in childbirth? (Fewer kids, less risk.) Don't they appreciate that rape victims aren't often blamed for being raped anymore?

Feminists have made major changes in our society, in my lifetime. I remember when just about the only professions that women were in were nursing or teaching K-12. I remember when married women couldn't get credit cards in their own names and couldn't establish a credit history, which was a huge issue for women who got divorced and didn't have much money, like my mother (who fortunately got a good job). I remember when almost all doctors were male and even the few female doctors didn't take us seriously at all. I remember when housework was "women's work," when housewives weren't taken seriously and the women who worked fulltime (like my aunt Mary Ann)were also expected to do all of the housework; that seems to still be true in plenty of cases. I remember when there was no such thing as maternity leave. I remember when it was astonishing that Sally Ride became an astronaut.

I've also had very personal experiences with prejudice against women. At Georgia Tech in the 1980s, the men, especially professors, were very condescending. They seemed to think that women were just incapable and weren't worth their time. The prevailing attitude was that women belonged in liberal arts programs. When I later got a physics degree, in 1992, at a "regular" college, it was better but not by enough. There too, it was assumed that men were naturally more capable of learning hard sciences than women. Most professors were less arrogant than the ones at Tech and took me seriously, *after* I'd excelled in their classes, but I don't think they would have if I'd done "just" good or average work.

At IBM in the early 1990s, women still had to wear skirts, even when it snowed. In several jobs, my work conditions weren't as good as those of men in comparable positions. In one job, for instance, I was put in a cubicle and my male colleague, with the same workload and using less technical skill, had an office and had a contractor to help him. He was underhanded, as well, and I got a bad review for not getting along with him. (You can bet that I called b.s. on that one! With clear examples. And found another job. Thank you, Betty Friedan.)

It's been common that when I've suggested an idea in a group of men, they don't seem to hear it, and in a few minutes one of them will say the same thing, and the others respond as if it were the first time they'd heard it. (I've called b.s. and walked out of a meeting over that. Thank you, Betty Friedan.)

I've personally seen that math, physics, engineering, computer programming, and management are still dominated by men, even on the west coast. Maybe that's because most women don't want to go through the exhausting effort of battling general prejudicial attitudes and having to do superior work, for people who aren't very helpful in guiding them, to get there. Women have had to act like men to do well, and then they're called (rhymes with) witches for that. Those conditions have gotten better but still exist.

One big reason that I moved from the "Heart of Dixie" and came to the west coast is that most people here treat me like a person, not someone who can't be taken seriously, because of being a woman. The men I know here aren't intimidated by strong, independent women. Best bumper sticker ever, seen only a few years ago: "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."

Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, Simone de Beauvoir, etc., etc., etc., have inspired women tochange society and to greatly improve our lives, in important ways that reach deeply into our confidence, our self-esteem, our incomes, our treatment by others, and our ability to be ourselves, fully and with passion and with celebration for who we are. They've truly made the world a better place. I'm forever grateful to them.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
bonnie burlton
Thank goodness for Betty Friedan's book. Although occasionally dull and repetitive, the book was overall well-researched and shocking. At the time this book was written, universities were actually reconsidering the value of educating women because so many women were going to become just housewives. Since this book was written, no one has dared suggest such a thing again. In those days, too, housewives had a societal image as somewhat brainless and childlike. These days, housewives are taken much more seriously because all women are taken much more seriously. My aunt was the most talented math student in her freshman college class but she dropped out to get married. After her two daughters were grown and well-educated (one's a neurosurgeon) she started working for her cranky brother in his photo shop. Now's she's waiting for her 60-year old husband, who obviously is not as smart as she is, to get his business off the ground so she can stop supporting him. On the other hand, my mom and her sister, same generation, became lawyers and professors. My mom, as a public defender, has measurably improved the lives of hundreds of poor people in Chicago and she lives a lively intellectual life. As a single mother, she raised me without much difficulty and sent me through college and graduate school, and now my husband and I are always pushing each other to better ourselves and be as interesting as possible. Would my life be possible, and as guilt-free, without Friedan's book? I don't know. All I do know is that never once, in my whole life, did I hear from anyone a suggestion that I should ignore my talents and my strengths to merely support my husband's ambitions. Now, I think, for upper-class women at least, staying home with children is much more of a real choice, not a default choice. Thank you for everything, Betty Friedan!
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
runa
It's common wisdom to think of the Feminine Mystique as a classical feminist text. This is perhaps the case, but I would like to argue that it is so much more than that. The book examines what society tells women about their lives -- education, career, family, sexuality, goals, values, and anything else. The book discusses what society tells women, who exactly promotes these views about femininity, out of what possible motives, and what toll do these views have on women, their family and their children. The basic thesis of the book is that femininity has been mystified, manipulated, and taught back to women, in their homes and schools and churches, in the novels and magazines they read, etc -- that this mystification of femininity is a monsterous distortion of a person's life, resulting in emotional problems, marital and family tension, stifled careers, and general unhappiness... That we -- society -- have been living in denial of the condition women have been manipulated into, and therefore have been ineffectual in our help. That there are good reasons why things are the way they are -- it's embarassing to discover just how economically profitable this distortion is.
The Feminine Mystique is profound and penetrating in that it questions a state of affairs so many of us take (or have taken) for granted. The book appeals to reason. You won't find any "masculine logic" vs. "feminine logic" stuff here; Just logic: The book is a systematic expose of the problem, its toll on women, and its toll on the rest of the family -- men and children. The book is humane and compassionate in dealing with human suffering: It doesn't place men and women on opposite sides of some battle of the sexes, but rather places all of us on the same side -- the side of the victims -- of some really bad ideas that have been dominant in society for a long time.
The book is frightening, because having read it, the magnitude and scope of women's suffering takes on a new meaning. The book is liberating, because having read it, you realise the mistakes you've made in your own life -- how you may have contributed to the problem, and you have a pretty good idea as to how to go about changing things -- your own life, and the way you deal with others. This is a great book.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
jaci
This was one of the most inspirational books I have ever read. Although the book discusses the condition of the lives of women during the 40's, 50's, and 60's it makes a person examine the way they are living their life right now. It helps a person understand why they might be unhappy and explains the steps that can be taken to find happiness. This is no longer just a book for femininsts; it is now a book for both men and women and can help a person live a more full and honest life.
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