Never Go Back: 10 Things You'll Never Do Again

A concise recapitulation of what I have been going through over the last 2 years. So, a very personally relevant book and topic. Thoroughly enjoy the words and works of Cloud, Townsend, Chapman, Ortberg, Thich Hahn among others. They are able to put into words what my intuition had been telling me.
Thanks : )

An incredible book! I read about 4 books a month and would have to say it's probably one of my favorite books of the year! Henry cloud does an amazing job through scientific and biblical research to back up his message. If you are a leader, get the book.

You've been there, no doubt. The big mistake, the wrong decision that resulted in a devastating situation. Once you've learned that lesson, Cloud says, never go back.

It's one thing to intellectually understand what we should never do again but it is quite another thing to live out that understanding. Cloud tackles those two issues in this book: 1) key awakenings that successful people experience, 2) implementing the life we intellectually understand.

The key awakenings are: never go back to what hasn't worked, to doing something that requires you to be somebody else, to thinking you can change someone, to trying to please other people, to avoiding short-term pain when it leads to long-term benefits, to being taken in by someone or something that looks perfect, to losing the big picture, to taking the easy path and failing to do due diligence, to ignoring the part you play in the situation you are in, to forgetting that your inner life determines your outer life.

Cloud then helps us in implementing what we know, the many ingredients or steps that make change happen. First, we must wake up. Then we think about the end result of what we are doing. We must ask for help and realize the myth of self-help. Cloud identifies eight essential ingredients for change that we get from God and other people. He concludes with principles essential to making change a reality.

I am impressed with this book. Cloud is very practical in exploring the reality of our decisions and their consequences. He has included ways for us to find out if we are doing the wrong behavior and gives plenty of reasons for changing. He includes some of his own life stories and those from other people implementing behavior he suggests (or failing to do so).

This is not a miracle “get out of my situation” book. Cloud has identified the behavior that needs to be changed and the reasons for doing so. He even provides the strategy and essential ingredients necessary to make the changes. The responsibility still remains with the individual to follow Cloud's suggestions. As Cloud notes, with the strength of God, it can be done.

i received a complimentary copy of this book from Howard Books for the purpose of an independent and honest review.

You've been there, no doubt. The big mistake, the wrong decision that resulted in a devastating situation. Once you've learned that lesson, Cloud says, never go back.

It's one thing to intellectually understand what we should never do again but it is quite another thing to live out that understanding. Cloud tackles those two issues in this book: 1) key awakenings that successful people experience, 2) implementing the life we intellectually understand.

The key awakenings are: never go back to what hasn't worked, to doing something that requires you to be somebody else, to thinking you can change someone, to trying to please other people, to avoiding short-term pain when it leads to long-term benefits, to being taken in by someone or something that looks perfect, to losing the big picture, to taking the easy path and failing to do due diligence, to ignoring the part you play in the situation you are in, to forgetting that your inner life determines your outer life.

Cloud then helps us in implementing what we know, the many ingredients or steps that make change happen. First, we must wake up. Then we think about the end result of what we are doing. We must ask for help and realize the myth of self-help. Cloud identifies eight essential ingredients for change that we get from God and other people. He concludes with principles essential to making change a reality.

I am impressed with this book. Cloud is very practical in exploring the reality of our decisions and their consequences. He has included ways for us to find out if we are doing the wrong behavior and gives plenty of reasons for changing. He includes some of his own life stories and those from other people implementing behavior he suggests (or failing to do so).

This is not a miracle “get out of my situation” book. Cloud has identified the behavior that needs to be changed and the reasons for doing so. He even provides the strategy and essential ingredients necessary to make the changes. The responsibility still remains with the individual to follow Cloud's suggestions. As Cloud notes, with the strength of God, it can be done.

i received a complimentary copy of this book from Howard Books for the purpose of an independent and honest review.

Sometimes, usually, things are much easier than we make them out to be. As human beings we tend to want to complicate things, and then when they've gotten out of control, we decide that we can fix them. The problem is that we can't. As least we can't, by ourselves, solve all the problems that we create.
America, and much of the world, may have bought into the idea that self-help fixes everything, but as Dr Cloud points out, there are generally 2 other components to any self-help program: 1) other people and 2) God. In Never Go Back: 10 Things You'll Never Do Again ( Howard Books, 2014), We learn that there are consequences to every decision, and even though we can't eliminate those consequences, any more than we can always quickly fix the problem, there are ways to avoid them in the first place.
Human beings are creatures of habit: we tend to do the same things over and over. Cloud points out that if we become aware of some of the patterns that we've fallen into, patterns that lead to less than desirable circumstances, that we can learn to avoid them, decide to avoid them.
He describes 10 things that most people do on a regular basis, simple things with unintended consequences. Many people do things like repeat things that didn't work before, try to please everybody, try to change other people, or just neglect to ask 'how did I get here in the first place?' He uses real life examples of how lives are affected because of these negative habits.
If he had stopped the first 10 chapters, this would have been an acceptable book. In PART ONE, Cloud describes some of the attitudes we need to repent of, and then in PART TWO he offers some practical advice on how to come to some sort of awakening and change for the better.
We all know that change doesn't come easy, if it were all that simple, then there would be no need for this book. Some people will benefit immensely from Never Go Back, and others will at least see that there is a solution.
The book is easy to read, not filled with psycho-babble, and Dr Cloud does an excellent job of giving God credit for the work in human lives that only God can do.
I received a copy of this book from ICON Media Group in exchange for this review. The opinions are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.
4/5

Dr. Henry Cloud is a psychologist, the author of over 20 books, and a popular radio and television personality. He opens this fantastic primer on never going back to damaging relationships, attitudes, actions and emotions with a humorous story involving an interview he took part in some time ago. He relates how a television executive approached him to explore working together. When they met, all the previous friendly enthusiasm had dissipated, and Cloud wondered what had happened. The executive explained, “When I typed in your name (on Google), it was as if a 19-foot-spinning Jesus was over your head.” That descriptive left Cloud confused and speechless.

While the exec continued, he questioned if Cloud was even a real doctor because of his religious beliefs. Cloud laughed and explained that, yes, he was indeed a real doctor who believed in science, but he also believed in Jesus and found that science and religion can march along quite nicely in real life, thank you very much.

NEVER GO BACK: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again is a practical guidebook to recognizing the messes of life and how to avoid finding yourself mired in them over and over again. Cloud is not afraid to base his premises of succeeding well in life on the principles found in the Bible. However, he also includes loads of common sense, business-type tools that equip folks to make day-by-day changes in their behavior, beliefs and eventually their futures.

Divided into 10 chapters, Cloud first captures the attention of readers and then sustains it by offering lively, real-life anecdotes and stories of men and women who made poor choices (over and over again). He goes on to contrast those vignettes with individuals who made mistakes (but learned from them and moved forward to healthier, happier lives). Readers will find themselves reflecting upon these themes: Never again will I: return to what hasn’t worked; do anything that requires me to be someone I’m not; try to change another person; believe that you can please everyone; choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit; trust someone or something flawless; take your eyes off of the big picture; neglect to do due diligence; fail to ask why you are where you are; and forget that your inner life determines your outer success.

In part two, Cloud continues to bolster needed life changes with additional help that gives readers more food for thought on making sure they never return to what doesn’t work; learning what it means to wake up in life; understanding the truth about self-help; and engaging with powerful principles to make change happen.

From the first page to the final paragraph, Cloud has proven he has something significant to share with individuals young and old; struggling or successful; male or female; of faith or still searching. His personable style and format make it easy to open to the topic most relevant to readers’ current challenges to equip them, encourage them, and empower them to change their lives for the better. Mistakes are all a part of the process, and Cloud’s work here will convince readers of that truth.

Reviewed by Michele Howe.

“Successful people realize that just because someone is unhappy with them does not require that they give up their purpose, fold their cards, or change. They realize that making some people unhappy is just part of the deal–and they keep going.” Pg. 67

Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again by Dr. Henry Cloud is an ideal book for the blogger, dreamer, or for people like us who see life upside down. It’s about staying the course and never looking back or returning to dysfunctional familiarity.

As a blogger and a dreamer, it gives sound advice. In regards to the blogger, Never Go Back talks about how you can’t change the person’s mind, you must show them why they should do or be something. For the person like me who see’s life upside down and might be tempted to stay in dysfunctional familiarity, it takes our hand and leads us gently, but firmly away from what is familiar and safe to the life we were meant to live.

Like Boundaries, Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again is a book that I’ll keep in my permanent library for future re-reading. It’s practical and helpful as well as encouraging as I think about my future. No one should do what they have always done just because it’s safe or familiar. I gave this book five stars.

*book given by publisher to review.

Ever wonder why some people are successful while others are not? Henry Cloud tackles this important question in this outstanding book. Dr. Cloud has a unique way of getting to the heart of success in a doable understandable manner that is backed up by research and the Bible. Few authors do that task as well as Dr. Cloud. The main idea of this book is simple but not simplistic--that to make changes in our lives or our businesses we need to never go back to what did not work. The book then tackles each of the 10 principles that continue to derail if continued. When I read what these principles are--my first thought was that they make perfect sense but are easy to overlook.
The first principle is to "never go back to what didn't work". There is a reason something did not work in the first place and going back without changing that reason is according to Dr. Cloud moving backwards. This truth applies to unhealthy relationships as well as poor decisions made by executives. The beauty of these 10 truths is that they are universally true and can be applied in many situations both personal and professional. Another principle explored is "never again try to change another person." All of these principles applied to life distinguishes those that find a measure of success in life vs those who do not. The book is easy to read and not religious sounding which makes it a great read for people of all faiths.

Henry Cloud. Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again. Secrets Things of God Series. New York: Howard Books/Simon and Schuster, 2014. xviii + 249 pp. $24.99 (hardcover).

Known primarily for the Boundaries series and How People Grow (his collaborations with John Townsend), one may wonder what else Cloud has to offer. Cloud now finds himself a citizen of an authorial stratosphere that also boasts John Maxwell, Charles Stanley, Chuck Swindoll, Max Lucado, James Dobson and Dallas Willard. How many different ways can one author write about the same subject? (One could claim that John Ortberg and Timothy Keller could be on this list, although they vary what they write about although they continue to churn books out at a dizzying speed.) Each of the author listed above have contributed significantly to our reading lists, and they books sell like hotcakes at a monthly VFW breakfast. However each of them, including Cloud, have come to a point where their influence has become polarized—you either like them or you don’t like them.

This, then, is problematic for an author such as Cloud who typically deals with psychological topics from a spiritual perspective, as he does in Never Go Back. A seminary-trained psychologist, Cloud has never been afraid of hiding his faith nor has he ever backed down from operating out of a faith-based approach to therapy. He talks about this in the preface as he recounts a time of meeting with a television executive who was afraid that Cloud was a closet religious fanatic. Cloud reassured the executive (and the reader) that a person of faith can talk about matters of psychology and culture without sounding like a nut job. This is an important realization because of the theme that Cloud seeks to treat in this book.

The volume is divided into two major sections, following a preface and introduction. In the introduction, Cloud sets forth his purpose in writing this particular volume. When I agreed to review this volume, I thought it would be more along the lines of Boundaries—a popular-level treatment on overfunctioning, a controlling nature or the addictive personality. I was thus surprised when Cloud revealed that this book is actually on repentance. I have always heard (and, thus, taught) that we repent when we make a conscious change in our lives to walk in a different direction (stop an addiction, leave an abusive relationship, ask forgiveness for gossiping or cursing, etc.). Cloud argues that part of being a successfully spiritual person is to practice repentance, to realize things about our lives that are weighing us down or keeping us from achieving our goals and deciding not to continue living that way (i.e., stop trying to be someone you’re not just to please another or continue to use failed processes to accomplish tasks). To Cloud, this is what it means to “never go back.”

This book is certainly written with individual readers in mind, although Cloud argues that it is not to be considered “self-help” because there is no such thing. We must allow God to work the changes in our lives. However this will be a valuable resource for preachers and teachers, counselors and spiritual directors because it will help us guide those who come to us for counsel about their spiritual lives. One of my biggest critiques of sermons is what are we supposed to do with it. Don’t just preach on repentance; give direction on how people can implement repentance. This book provides practical, spiritual applications for how we can change our lives.

I really enjoyed this book, and I would highly recommend it. If you were to read anything by Cloud, I would heartily recommend this and Necessary Endings. I think Never Go Back might actually be better than Boundaries simply because he has twenty more years of experience under his belt.

Rob O’Lynn, ABD
Assistant Professor of Preaching and Ministry
Kentucky Christian University

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the Publisher and was asked to review it. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

I found this book to be quite useful and applicable to both a person's every day life with relationships with family and friends, as well as applicable to the business/work realm. I enjoy that it covers both, as so many of us encounter both in this day and age. Good stories that illustrate examples. Great practical advice that leads to some terrific insight!

I recently finished listening to this book, and I am still pondering and discussing the wise advice the book provides. In fact, the information was so relevant to my life that the author seemed to be speaking directly to me. I found myself excited for my time in the car, so that I could continue to learn and then apply. I would highly suggest this book to anyone who tends to do things over and over, hoping that the next time they will get a different outcome. I want my whole family to read it!

Great practical book. Helps take practical counseling steps and relate them to biblical principles.
It would be better of it had a little more clear gospel presentation in a few chapters however often I hear a lot about the gospel and not much about the practical steps to take after, so this was very helpful.