Bill The Vampire (The Tome of Bill Book 1)

Bill is fun, he was a super geek before he was Bitten, unfortanulty, he didnt change into a male supermodle after he turned. so now he is a Geek Vampire. think Superbad meets Darkwing Duck! you need to buy this book to find out the rest, you will NOT be sorry, this is the FIRST in the series, enjoy the ride!

I was disappointed. The "jokes" were more 8th grade boy's bathroom type humor and detracted from the story. I felt at 99 cents it was overpriced. The author needs to rethink what he's trying to do with this.

If you're thinking of buying this, I strongly suggest trying the free sample first to see if it is to your taste. I thought this would be a book for geeks, by a geek. It's not.

Bill is not a nerd. Bill can't remember his D&D character class (battlemage or swordmage, hmmmm?). Bill buys nonexistent D&D books. Bill says things like Blade-the-vampire-hunter. Nobody says Blade-the-vampire-hunter. They just say Blade. Blade has three movies, and just how many other Blades can you think of exactly, Bill?

Bill is a jock. Bill calls women bitches, men dicks, and is more than a little homophobic. Bill thinks about rape a disturbing amount. Bill regularly gets really drunk. Bill thinks that his friend raving about finding a cool collectible is "psycho obsessive". Bill recognizes the machines in the gym. Bill punches people in the junk. Bill hates MIT.

In conclusion, the dialogue reads like a frat boy trying to imitate a nerd. To be fair, the dialogue improves somewhat about halfway through the book, when Bill's internal monologue features less. By improve, I mean that there's slightly less overt swearing and homophobia. The misogyny is still pretty strong.

Many of the characters sound more or less the same, to the point that different characters make the same "I just told you something untrue. Psych! It wasn't true after all. I gotcha, didn't I?" joke.

The Darkwing Duck line was funny. It's a pity that almost nothing else was.

Many of the jokes in the book revolve around how performing a blowjob on another man is worse than [insert current plot point here] (e.g. becoming a vampire, finding out your roommate is a vampire, etc.). When the character takes a break from juvenile homophobia, he tends to to switch to misogyny. Beyond that, the main character is the Holden Caulfield of douches. Just about everyone he meets or thinks about (with the exception of characters he wants to have sex with, who instead get called Bitch!) are called out as douches, by the Vampire King of Douches himself, the main character Bill. Generally, I like what the author is attempting to do with a modern vampire who is not a moody teenager, but he does it in an offhandedly insulting way with some of the jokes he chooses/repeats. I thoroughly enjoyed the nerd-based humor, but, to me, it did not outweigh the barrage of gay/sexist jokes.

Complete crap. I was hoping for sassy humor and instead got a one-dimensional piece of sexist, homophobic crap. There are no women characters, just vessels for the so-called protagonist's sexual desires. Half the book is aside thoughts on how he'd like to have sex with someone (willing or not). It's disgusting. Don't waste your time or your money.

This book is disgusting, stooooooopid, and nothing that we went to remain on our kindle.
Just have to figure how to delete it.
Why do people write brain dead stuff nowadays?

I already reviewed this dumb book, see above. Its about the most stupid book ever written.

OK this is the third time Ive reviewed this book, so for heavens sake, read my review, the book is brain dead.

Summary:

There are terrifying predators on the streets at night…. and then there’s Bill. Living the life of an overworked programmer and gaming nerd, he is far from ready for the turn his life’s going to take.

A gorgeous woman chats him up on the subway and invites him to a party. While he’s never been the one to be picked up…. he figures, why not? This is no ordinary party, though…. this is a party to die for *insert demonic laughter*…. er sorry, I had to.

When Bill lives through being one of the appetizers and fights back, one of the vamps are intrigued enough to extend his protection- giving Bill three months to move from the bottom of the coven food chain to the top before he gets killed. Again. With his two roommates, an older vamp that’s often MIA, and the hottie that got him killed, Bill’s making a name for himself in the vampire world. He’s special, you see, and not just because everyone else in the coven are model perfect and he…. isn’t. He turns out to be a unique type of vamp- a freewill the likes of which haven’t been seen in centuries. Will this be enough to keep the ones he cares about safe?

My thoughts:

I bought this eBook in 2015, and thoroughly enjoyed it (I think I gave it four stars then). I have since bought the audio compilations for the series. The pace is smooth, the play between characters often hilarious. I liked Bill a lot. He is funny, in a sarcastic wise-ass sort of way, loyal, and endearingly geeky (what can I say, I have a type). There’s action, adventure, mayhem and missteps as Bill tries to adjust to the life of the undead. I also loved Sally (heartless evil genius/ bad ass), and his two friends.

Now there were a few issues. The talk about how the women looked got old. Seriously, Bill’s a bit of a horn dog. It’s often funny, sometimes pathetic…. and at times it goes a bit far. I have to say it wasn’t my favorite thing ever, but everything else more than made up for it. Think about if Vampire Diaries got together with Space balls- this is their love child. For me, this is a five star book.

On the adult content scale, there’s a lot of language (both cursing and sexual innuendo), and a ton of violence. While I would give this to my niece, I am thinking older teens and above here. Let’s give it a five.

Humor horror is the genre.

If you like Shawn of the Dead or Army of Darkness, this book might be for you. If teenage humor and constant dissing of friends if your thing, this book might be for you. If you live for stereotypes that are never challenged and characters which never grow beyond the initial frat boy, b*tch girl and geek, this book might be for you.

The book fits it genre.

Now I like humor, but the "sly" touch on stereotypes is instead of breaking them, the characters become the epitome of them. The main character, when you get down to it, is so misogynistic and cruel (jokingly) to his friends you wonder how he has any. A lot of homophobic jokes. The only break from stereotype is how the vampire powers work and Bill actually becoming a vampire; the typical vampire is still a smug a-hole.

And I think what really got me is when the main character and his male friends made a joke and then ended with "syke, no just joking" the MC growls, thinks them a-holes and but still friends. When the attractive female does it, she is a b*tch. I really had hoped when she pulled the "I was in the middle of college with a great GPA" joke it would end with something along the lines of "dang, her humor is just like mine." Nope. And that is one of the major problems with the book - all the characters have the same sense of humor. Which is a cruel, let your friend fail type so often seen on sitcoms.

Some of the geek conversations are truly great (of you are into geeky things), and many of the actions of the characters are in-line with stereotypes. But no one is just a stereotype, and the writer doesn't push this.

If you want juvenile humor, this book really is amusing. But anyone with a touch of feministic support in their brain (male or female), should pass on this book. I gnashed my teeth as often as I smiled while taking the six hours to read this book.

Picked up as part of the Modern Magic pack - 12 paranormal novels, all first novels of a series. An awesome deal! Even if you have to suffer through this book.

I was at a science fiction convention over the weekend and saw this book in the Dealer's Room. I read the blurb on the back and thought it might be a fun read. I even met the author who kindly signed my book. As someone with another 1 star review said - I should have gone to the store and read the sample. The book was not a fun read for me. As others have mentioned there are liberal doses of misogyny as well as homophobia in this book. Not things that I put up with in books I read. Authors write what is meaningful to them. Authors write what they consider to be funny. And I am sure the author is doing just that in Bill The Vampire. Unfortunately I am not his target audience and I didn't find the book to be interesting or engaging. I didn't find the humor funny - just sad and juvenile. What did I do with this one? I put it in the shredder. I couldn't burn it (burn restrictions), I am on septic so I couldn't flush it down, I certainly would not donate it to a library or charity, and I didn't want to just throw it away. So I ripped it apart and fed it to the shredder. A first for me. It did take a while though.

This book is so stupid. Bill is a shallow dipwad who doesn't deserve to be a vampire, seeing how people have judged him his entire life he has no right to judge others. And of course he's some sort of "chosen one" of vampires - how boring and predictable.

Decent quick read (if your family and body will let you)- could have finished it in a few hours if I'd had that much free time in a stretch when I wasn't exhausted.

Modern vampire story with a geeky, somewhat relatable protagonist. I say somewhat because although he is smart, often he is just annoying (misogynist commentary, and his snark isn't that good)- but it's not as balanced as other geeky characters I've love in books or on screen. He gets too distracted by unimportant things at times and I'd like to virtually smack him. Character development is really lacking- Characters are written just well enough to get your attention, but lack depth in some cases. The comedy is...meh. We all have geeky, quick-witted friends. Bill thinks he is, but isn't often that funny. He also doesn't ever seem to try to save himself. He misses easy openings and doesn't think quickly on his feet- kinda disappointing. I like to see a vamp come into their powers and find will or strength in themselves they were unable to use as humans.

The storyline was good but sometimes just echoes the ideas of the main theme....(SPOILER AHEAD-
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we know he is a Freewill, but rarely see exactly what that means beyond the characters saying "you are/I am a Freewill"....yes, there's not been one in 600 years, but they'd document something that important, considering the total structure the author tries to give vamp society, no? Or at least have more well known DETAILED lore as to what a Freewill is (Urban Legends from the older vamps))

I rarely give up on a book or a series, so I will read more of this one. Many times an author grows and develops as they get more experienced at writing and more into the world they are creating. I certainly hope this is the case. I've just started on Book 2- Scary Dead Things. Review to come when I finish it. This month tends to be busy for us (& the rest of the world, lol) so sorry I'm not as prolific with reading an reviewing.

There’s a grading scale for silly books as well as serious ones, and on that scale Bill the Vampire (volume 1 of The Tome of Bill, with more to follow) would come in as a strong four out of five. [Five would be something like David Wong’s John Dies at the End (2007) or in movies, Shaun of the Dead (2004).] Like Wong’s John and Dave, Bill and his roomie-friends Tom and Ed, are nerds, though they’re all gainfully employed, something John and Dave didn’t seem to worry about much. Bill’s problems start when he is picked up one night by an incredibly HOT-looking babe named Sally. She invites to a party, where it turns out HE is the hors d’oeuvres. He wakes up dead, covered in blood, in a room with a gaggle of unfriendly looking dudes led by an even unfriendlier looking dude named Jeff. They all use pseudonyms in the vampire coven (is coven the right term?). Jeff’s is Night Razor, which tells you something about him. When Bill has to pick a name for himself, he chooses “Dr. Death.” (Once a nerd, always a nerd.)

Night Razor wants to kill Bill for good –put a stake through his heart—but Bill is given a three-month stay through a loophole in the vampire code of conduct. He tries to spend it as much as possible far away from Night Razor, but that doesn’t work out too well because Night Razor really, really doesn’t like him and Bill, who has trouble keeping his mouth shut, talked back to him and made him look bad in front of his peers. So Night Razor aka Jeff tests him, time and again. In the process, the vampires learn something startling about Bill: he is the first vampire recruit to come along in six hundred years who is a Freewill: he can’t be compelled to do something by the command of the coven head.. (There are other advantages to being a Freewill too but I won’t spoil the surprise by telling you what they are.) Eventually, Bill, aided by his roomies Tom and Ed, and –surprisingly—Sally, who hates Jeff worse than she scorns Bill, is engaged in a battle to the death with Night Razor/Jeff. Obviously, Bill survives it, or there wouldn’t be a sequel.

This tale is light as feather-foam and there’s not a single redeeming social value in the whole book, but I read it cover to cover in a couple of hours (I read fast) and never once wanted to put it down. Maybe it’s all that Dungeons and Dragons my son and I played at the tail end of the seventies and into the eighties. Or maybe the book is good. Not great. But good.

Bill the Vampire is good stuff. Is it going to change your perception of reality? Probably not, but if that's what you're looking for you're in the wrong aisle of the book store.

At a glance, the book has the same bones of most mainstream urban fantasy/horror. You've got a protagonist drawn from the mundane world into a fantasy world full of monsters. He has a quest to master the fantasy world and return to the mundane having bettered himself, à la Campbell's monomyth. It works well enough as just that kind of story, and if that's all you're looking for you'll get it here.

Where Bill really shines is the twists on the usual vampire tropes. Instead of a sexy vampire, he's a nerd vampire. While it's not a brand new idea, this is a very good presentation of that idea. The setup is very clever, for instance: The vampires had a pig party, and Bill was a hot vampire chick's date. Not only is that ingeniously funny, it's believable, and it establishes Bill and the vampires as characters. Right away you understand that he's a huge loser, and they're the type of vain jerks who have pig parties. The nerd details are also spot-on. Bill and his dorky roommates name-drop a lot of real items from real geek culture, and have realistic sounding opinions about those things. It doesn't have the kind of unnatural dialogue you get when hack TV writers who have never rolled a D10 try to write nerdy characters. This seems real. It adds to the immersion, and it's the book's greatest strength.

There's some solid trope subversion to make some of the story unpredictable. Bill is clumsy and thickheaded, and actually acts that way. A common misstep with his type of character is the writer saying the character is clumsy, but then showing them conduct themselves as a total badass. The Bill character doesn't fall into that trap. He's never a badass. Sally is a subversion upon a subversion. She's the first vampire Bill meets. She's the herald of adventure, and the character you would expect to turn into Bill's major love interest--the evil sexpot vampire who has a hidden heart of gold, but even that expectation is subverted here. She's just a shallow sexpot vampire. She has some admirable traits, but she doesn't turn out to be Bill's one true love, or the damsel in distress, or any of the things you would normally expect from this genre. She even makes a self-aware joke about this double subversion.

Overall, Bill the Vampire is pretty typical genre fiction with good characterization, some twists, and a hip sensibility that comes around rarely in the genre. The characters have a lot of charm to keep your interest even if you think the narrative is a little by-the-numbers.

This is not the normal book I love paranormal but usually a different kind of paranormal, however, I decided to give this a shot. I will say it was overall a pretty decent book. I thought that the characters had potential to make this a really good series but there were some issues as well. I liked that Bill did not become Mr.perfect with the change and that there were vampires who were not perfect models, I also liked how they dealt with the items of faith and how we can rever something like an Optimus Prime action figure with the same amount of faith as the holy cross. My main issues with this book where how the women were portrayed I get this is a male author but honestly I was disgusted with the way the females in this book were shown they were either up on an unreachable pedestal like Bills unrequited love or they were feeble-minded nitwits, I thought he was going to come through with Sally but even she became a cliche she saves his but to basically run his life and not in a flattering way I would have like Sally to be tough but also a bit bending she is smart and can kick butt but she comes off bitter, controlling and unlikeable in many ways. While I was not happy with the female portals in this book there were parts that had me laughing and will make me read the next book with the hope that there is some character development.

Fortunately for me it was a Kindle Unlimited book so I'm not out any money! The premise of the book is great, the execution of it is terrible. It is rare that I cannot finish a book, but I only made it through 33% of this one. The lead character acts more like a 15 year old than a grown man; the plot line went from 'this could be a good story' to 'ridiculous' in a very short period of time; and the 'women are nothing but sex objects' attitude got old quickly. Don't waste your time or money.

I got to admit. Reading through the first 2 or 3 chapters of the book, I felt it was kinda silly. Amusing but silly. And I almost stopped reading but decided to stick with it a little bit longer as I found it to be amusing as I said. I'm glad I did. It took a few chapter to adjust to the tone of the book but when I did, it got to be very enjoyable and funny. The book itself isn't silly, its the main character and his friends that are just geeks/nerds operating in the "real" world and once you realize that, let the laughs begin. Bill, the main character is a new vampire that ha no clue what he is doing and only his two geek friends would and do believe what he is, so they just go with the geeky flow. Add "Sally' to the equation, her being an experienced vampire helping Bill along, and you get one of the most entertaining stories you will ever read and laugh along with. Check it out, you wont regret it!!

It is with great reluctance I say this book was amazing.

At the start I thought I was going to put the book down and not go back to it. Then they did the THING, and they did it with a Transformer??? (So FYI about me, I am a nerd, but I have only used the words "Fan Boy" on one group of people... Transformer toy collectors. Seriously they earn it.) They talked about faith magic, how it would work in modern times. It was still silly and didn't take itself 100% seriously.

I got the book for free, which proves the store is in ways a drug dealer. The first hit was free. Now since my public library doesn't have the next books I will have to go back to my dealer.

Vampire stories are plentiful and I don't bother unless it's something different. This book definitely fits the Bill. (Pun definitely intended!)
Like I mention in the title, Rick is a fan boy. He's a bonafide geek with an appreciation and talent for the darker, morbid comedy that has our nerdy crowds laughing out loud.
The cultural references alone are worth the read and my favorite part of the story. Rick writes at a wonderful pace and rhythm that kept me turning pages and I devoured this book in one six hour read. I'm not usually fond of comedy in the fantasy genre, but the action and plot kept me hooked from the very beginning.
I'm highly impressed and will continue reading the series as long as it's of this caliber.
Top marks!

I enjoyed this book quite a bit, but it got off to a rough start. The main character, Bill, ends up becoming considerably more likeable as the book goes on, but he starts off as an offputting combination of victim and holier-than-thou. Get past the first chapter-and-a-half, and he actually starts to develop a personality, and it ends up being fun. I enjoyed it quite a bit after that, but it would have been much better without quite so many uses of the word "bitch", as appropriate an appellation as that might be. Really, less putdowns of other characters, all around, would have made the story a little more enjoyable.

Still, for all that I feel the author could learn a little restraint, I finished it in one night, and I immediately downloaded the next book, so he's clearly doing something right.

Bill The Vampire is a horror comedy that manages to toe the line nicely between silly, snarky, quick fire comedy and a smart, engaging story. Told through the eyes of an anti-social nerd who is at the same time lovable and unlikable, Bill the Vampire shows us what happens when the wrong kind of guy accidentally winds up in an up-market vampire coven who are not exactly thrilled with his inclusion.

As a hero, Bill doesn’t succeed through any kind of whit, bravery or supernatural powers (though he has a measure of all three) Bill gets by on his anti-social instincts, endless supply of sarcasm and take-no-shit attitude. He’s not alone, though,and Bill relies on the pseudo-support of couple of equally goofy sidekicks, and a partnership with a hard-as-nails vampire maiden who is, at the very least, morbidly fascinated with Bill’s general incompetence. And Bill being Bill will need all the help he can get, because he’s got ninety days to prove he’s vampire material, or else get staked.

Far from derivative, Bill expounds and deconstructs popular vampire mythos in a way that makes well-trodden territory refreshing to revisit. With a strong narrative voice and a page-turning plot packed with bold characters, Bill The Vampire is required reading for those of you looking for a bad-taste, bird-flipping alternative to generic sexy vampire tales.

I really enjoyed the light-hearted approach to the vampire genre. I almost put it down after the first few pages, waiting for the story to get going. I had just run through a number of lame, forgettable books on Kindle Unlimited, and was pretty impatient. But, I’m glad I stuck with this one! Rick Gualtieri has created a very interesting world here, and an amusing, relatable main character in Bill. The story was predictable, but it was entertaining nonetheless and I thoroughly enjoyed it! I’m gonna go download the rest of The Tome of Bill right now!

I wanted to like this book, I found the author's writing style to be refreshing and I enjoyed the humor. However, I couldn't finish reading the book when the character agreed with his friends that feeding on and killing a fat girl is okay but not a "hot" girl. I probably wouldn't have put the book down due to this comment (I don't like to jump to conclusions and stop reading just because I get a little offended) if previously the main character hadn't kept mentioning how he let Sally treat him badly because she's hot. I was hoping the main character wouldn't be a shallow jerk since the description mentioned he's a geek and that gave me high hopes that this wouldn't be another story based on the idea that only model-perfect women are attractive and worthy of his attention.

I wouldn't recommend this series to anyone who's a fan of genre fiction and/or Urban Fantasy. I made it through book 4 before I just became completely bored with the repetitive nature of the characters and plot. I found pretty much all of the characters to be unlikeable, especially the main character, and more importantly they lacked credibility as serious threats. The world-building had some fun nods (burned by the faith of collectibles), but overall I just didn't care a whit about what happened to anyone in the series. This book (and the series) tries to both poke fun at the genre, while becoming a part of the genre and unfortunately there's not enough material there to make up a 8 book series.

Do not buy this book if you are a prude, it can be raw at times!
Do not buy this book if you don't want to laugh out loud!
My partner read this series first and often kept me awake with his laughing. He followed me around the house reading to me from it so I couldn't wait to read it too. Bill is the most interesting character I've read in a long time. Often he is sad, which can translate into being even funnier. Underneath the funny is a deep story of struggle and acceptance that rang true for the spirit of humanity. How Bill overcomes and perseveres makes this entire series well worth your time I highly recommend it.

At first I wasn't sure, but then hell it was free with Kindle Unlimited. The more I read the more often I chuckled and the more I chuckled the more I decided that it really is kind of funny for an urban fantasy style book. At sixty-seven years old, I can guarantee that I'm definitely not the target audience. The language however is not for teens either, and Bill and his cronies are typical horny young men. When Bill gets turned into a vampire, his roommates take it all with a grain of salt. They are nerds to the nth degree after all. Years of D&D, computer games and Sci-Fi have inured the lads to acceptance of the blandest kind. I'm enjoying the book more than I had anticipated, and hope the entire series is something I might enjoy.

I wanted to like this book. I really did. I enjoy the campy sarcastic fun of alternative vamp stories- or any supernatural creature really. Love That Ghoul Ava or My Life as a White Trash Zombie, but this book did absolutely nothing for me. It is filled to the brim with homophobia and misogyny. I know what your saying- hey, one of the main characters is a woman and she has a big role (trying to avoid spoilers here). That statement is true, but she is a one dimensional character that is only described by her physical attributes, whatever Bill wants to do to her sexually, and with epithets. Surely a super smart nerd can think of something else to call a woman besides b*tch over and over and over. There are also frequent homophobic comments and jokes. Again, surely a smart nerd can refrain from calling people fa*s, h*mos, and referring to any sort of male interaction that is less than alpha male chest thumping as "g*y"

Bill is funny. The junior high internal dialogue gets old pretty quick. He's such a nerd that he can't get his head out of his D&D games and hollywood vampire movies long enough to learn what he has become and what that all encompasses. So, he's stuck in a boring Groundhog Day of threats, beatdowns, learn nothing, repeat.
I will try to finish this book, but the repetitiveness of Stuck on Stupid is very wearing. Again, the junior high sex starved jokes get old and the over fascination with cleavage has ME "rolling my eyes" at him. I sympathize with Sally in that.

Well Rick, I am impressed. Just finished the 4th book and I may have already posted here. Short term memory ain't what it use to be. You forced me to slow to the pace you set. I was eager to see Bill go to the top quickly. My own lack of impulse control. Great series, I am enjoying it fully.

I really hope this was self published because if this garbage gets through a publishing house I have to cry. Could not get past the first 20 pages. The writer tries way too hard. The main character is obnoxious and disgusting. After the third or fourth reference to masturbation and objectification of women I had to put this "book" down. Felt like it was written by a talentless, angry, teenage boy.

Bill is a geek, as you can surmise from the book cover and summary to follow. Awkward, self-deprecating, and goofy. I connected. I have a huge crush on geeks of all types. There is no truer and more exciting group of people you will ever encounter. They are heart-felt and honest in their pursuit of all things labeled geeky and i'm one of them.

Rick Gualtieri get's it and his portrayal of an unlikely vampire is dead on, (pun intended). Smart and goofy, Bill takes us on his journey through a dangerous world of supernatural killers but stands back with the rest of us as we see hilarious stereotypes, vampire posers and a trashy heroine who treats Bill like crap, leaves him for food then uses him for her own purposes. Tramp with a heart of gold?

As characters are so important to me, I focused on all of them and was rewarded with unique and entertaining personalities from the vampire leader, Night Razor to his steroid-raged cronies, I was thoroughly involved and turning pages like the wind.

Bill The Vampire contains the mind of a geeky dude, the heart, mostly, of a street-tough vamp chick and the ego of a wannabe Vampire Master. A hilarious string of events when all are combined and an unexpected conclusion that has you cheering and giggling.

I honestly did not want to put it down.

I'm not usually a vampire novel kind of guy, but something in the description of this one sounded entertaining. And, just to start off, I will say that this is an excellent satire of what seems to be the modern vampire novel - not so heavy on the dramatic transformations, no complex interspecies romances, and -- I can't state this enough -- NO SPARKLES! What it does have is a very earthy look at what becoming a vampire might be like, a view into the brutal group dynamics of the undead with shadows of a larger community, all overlaid with an irreverent geeky humor which keeps the action from getting too dark and dramatic. The main characters are quirky and entertaining, but relatable, the plot moves fast, and it's hard to put the book down.

I started reading science fiction and fantasy at around 8 years of age and have kept it up for over 50 years. I can say with all confidence that this series is my favorite fantasy series of all time, hands down. If you are a fan of very well fleshed-out characters with great plot twists and regular injections of humor then you too will enjoy this series.

This book of Bill, a freshly converted vampire is full of snark, humor, blood, murder, mayhem, good friends, an evil master and pieces of human flesh flying through the air. I have to say if it wasn't for the humor in the book this would have been ghastly to read, but instead it was absorbing and fun filled with tension and angst. Good read.

I didn't review this book after I read it, and I'm kinda glad. Don't get me wrong, it's a great story and I laughed quite a bit, but now that I'm about to start book 5 I can see how the books tie together and the plot is bigger than just the guy humor involved. I have really fallen in love with the series and each book I get through just makes me want to read them all faster!

I was told that this novel is very funny so I downloaded a sample. In the first two pages I found: g__d__n; put a foot up their a__; d__khead; drunk off my a__; getting Sh__faced; I must be trashed; for f__k's sake; white bread teenaged do__he; pop a few caps in Homey's upper middle class a__; it's really starting to piss me off; what the h___; was that; holy sh__; drawing d__ks on my face - OK this is getting boring. I am not going to list all of the crude, vulgar language and attitudes expressed by the main character in the first two pages. Suffice it to say that it is very unlikely that Bill and I would ever be buddies. If you and your friends talk this way and spend a lot of time drunk or high, maybe you can relate to Bill and can enjoy this book. I can't.

I'm an Urban Fantasy fan and some of them lack character building and just good storytelling. Then along comes Bill. I love Bill. HIs view of the world and the stuff that comes out of his mouth just makes me laugh and I mean belly laugh. And there's believable characters here that do not change to fit the plot and the plot works surprisingly well (I'm surprised because I read so much that the plots begin to blur together, but not this one). I love his crazy friends, Ed and Tom and the truly scary, wicked smart but somehow likeable Sally. What I love best about Bill is that he is at his center a decent guy, dealing with very bad people and somehow getting the upper hand. You root for him because unlike so many urban fantasy characters you can imagine being in his place and praying you'll live another day. I'm on Book 3 and Gualtieri keeps the plot running tight and fast. Great job.

Oh my holy Optimus Prime, Batman! Bill the Vampire is a refreshing comedic take on the vampire genre. Like a swamp cooler on a summer day, the story breezes in and makes you feel better. I now finally know exactly how my gamer friends would react in the face of certain undeath and it's certainly worth the ride.

Rick Gualtieri has mastered the art of the guilty gigglefest with lively dialog, a witty running commentary and a clean brisk pace that leaves you as hungry as Nosferatu at a blood bank. I simply can't wait to read more and recommend this heartily to all my D&D buddies. It's like the best campaigns wrapped up with awesome takeout and a crate of ice cold soda - the kind of tale you'll be snickering about for years to come.

I was caught from the first page. Never read a "horror" story like this. Truly enjoyed the humor while also rushing to the next page to see what will be happening next .

The characters grew on me rapidly . I really enjoyed the banter at the tense moments . Will definitely be reading more of this author's books in the series .

First off I wasn't interested in reading this book but kept seeing it on the Kindle Unlimited list and finally said what hell . That said I found the book very entertaining. It certainly isn't for everyone so precede with caution.
Bill is a nerd. The conversations can be down right stupid between Bill and his friends but at the same pretty freaking funny. He meets a hot chick goes to a party and becomes a vampire. Then things go downhill from there for Bill. By dumb luck and wits he gets himself out of some crazy situations and survives. Some folks commented on errors about action figures and such but I find that pretty much doesn't take away from the story. IT IS FICTION PEOPLE !! Get over it and don't read anymore of the books. For myself I will continue on to the next Bill the vampire adventure.

At first I was put off by all the casual swearing. Not that anyone in my family, including me, ever expresses themselves in a colorful manner. Then I was caught by the truly weird but very readble plot and characters. I mean, when you find yourself wondering how many words per minute a zombie can type, you know you're caught by this story. I'll read the other stories in this series.

4.5 Stars! This book was hilarious! Definitely not your typical vampire story...Bill and crew seriously had me cracking the heck up. So thoroughly enjoyed this book and I'd absolutely recommend it if you are interested in this genre, I don't do horror but I enjoy vampires, comedy, and lame one liners make me laugh. It was great! I'm really looking forward to read more of this series!

This started out a little slowly, I didn't like going through three chapters to get the party started. But, I was glad I stuck around, the story got much better. I could do with a little more empathy for humans, but, let's face it, we aren't reading a vampire novel for world peace. This is a really fun escapist bit of mind candy. I will read more :)

A refreshing take on vampires. The idea of a nerdy vampire with geeky human roommates is a hoot. Sally the sexy sly vampire is a perfect foil to the clueless nerds. Definitely looking forward to reading the next book in the series.

What can I say about Bill the Vampire? ROTFLMAO! Imagine if you will, your local technically minded, slightly overweight individual (geek) gets turned into a vampire by a super hot chick (Bitch!) and then has to deal with a coven of vampires that looks like they just stepped out of a Tommy Hilfiger ad. The lead vampire hates his guts and wants him out of the picture as soon as possible and the gal who turned him has an agenda all her own and won't give him the basic skills to survive as a vampire. Add to that the companionship of two equally strange roommates that nothing can faze, vampire rules that are completely different than what's been passed around and a vampire singeing Transformer and you have the strange tale of how Bill the vampire became Dr. Death!

Liberally greased with modern nerd in-jokes and a severe disrespect for "glittery" vampires, this book is the perfect vampire tale for the 21st century adult that needs a good laugh. Not your average vampire, Bill will become your new vampire friend with something funny to say in the middle of the worst possible situations.

There are only a few typos and incorrectly phrased sentences (due to spellcheck), but none of them are distracting enough to slow down or disturb the pace of the book. The characters are all fleshed out to a tee, and Bill and his roomies are hilarious. I can't wait to see what kind of high jinx Bill and Sally get into in the next book.

I received a free copy for review.

Gaultieri's Tome of Bill series is outrageous, ridiculous, vulgar, and possibly one of the best humorous fiction series I've read in a long time. Or ever. I don't even know if I should put this on my "guilty pleasures" list, because quite frankly these are exceptionally well-written novels and I'm not sure I should feel guilty about liking them.

The series centers around Bill Ryder, a nerdy video game programmer, and thanks to him following his pants rather than his head one fateful night, a vampire. His coven is full of vamps that clearly have been turned for their good looks rather than brains (aside from Sally, the vampire who turned him, who actually turns out to be pretty intelligent, street savvy, and wickedly sarcastic). As luck would have it, Bill isn't just another blood sucker. No, he's what the vampires refer to as a "freewill" -- a super vampire -- the likes of which haven't been since in millennia. Of course, with that lofty title comes a catch: a prophecy which has the supernatural world expecting great things from him or, unfortunately for Bill, wanting him dead.

The Tome of Bill series is in no way just another vampire book. I mean, come on, it integrates Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) into the plot line. I'm pretty sure that hasn't been done before. The book is full of original content like that -- ideas that I would've never thought of putting together, but Gualtieri does it brilliantly. I found myself laughing my ass off as well as gasping at all the plot twists and turns.

But here's a warning: this book is not for "sensitive ears." And by sensitive ears, I mean people aren't comfortable with the heavy use of four-letter words (as well as five-, seven, twelve- and god knows how many other-letter words) -- a few of which I hadn't even heard of. Bill frequently refers to Sally as a "bitch" (when she gets the better of him) and makes jokes about her being a skank, but it's written in a context where it's not seriously commenting on her character. Plus, Sally's a badass and outclasses Bill when it comes to comebacks (and pretty much everything else).

If you're looking for an audiobook, I highly recommend this one. I'm not one to usually comment on the quality of the narrator (I've never felt overly positive or negative on any of them I've listened to), but Christopher John Fetherolf does an exceptional job narrating the Tome of Bill series. He's truly the voice of Bill.

I think this would make an exceptional HBO or Showtime series (although, fair enough, HBO already has a vampire named Bill on True Blood -- based on the Sookie Stackhouse books). I'd love to see Seth Rogen in the role of Bill.

I was recommended this book by a few friends. They said it was hilarious and that I should definitely look into it. I've only recently gotten into audio books so I was excited to get the audio version and listen to it while doing boring tasks like folding laundry or watching TV. I loved bill and his quick but dorky with that not surprisingly matches my own. It was amazing! Highly recommend this book.

Love it can't wait to read the rest of the series. I enjoyed that the author made the characters seem real and the modern take on vampires that might exist in the here & now , Highly Recommended to those of you who like smart ass underdogs winning, likable character , new fresh ideas on vampire lure, Oh and Can't Leave Out the LOL Humor , go get it and have a fun interesting read :)

I waited to write the review until I read all the books. I must say, if you like crude humor you will love this. It's not for everyone. It's not even a little PC and I know plenty of people who would be offended by it but that's what makes it awesome. I think the first book was a little green but as the series grew so did the characters. I love Bill, Sally, Gan and all Bills friends. I think Bill has matured into a hero and I would personally suggest reading them all in order. If you love pop culture, witty insults, really awkward sexual tension and vampires this is the book series for you. I miss it already.

The second book is interesting. But, the third, Mourning Wood, is pretty much on par with Scary Movie 3+. Seriously, Bill starts out with the typical low-life twenty-something attitude that gets you pulling for him. The second book is still tolerable despite his insular American attitudes and yuppiness. The third book, however, really devolves into teenage hijinks, sense of humor, and - worse - mentality. In any sort of story worth the name, by the third book, Bill would be learning instead of de-evolving in mentality: but, he isn't. By Mourning Wood, Bill is more of a mental-midget than he was in the first book. Gualtieri must be of like-mind, since he's just writing puns and witticisms rather than having the character develop some intelligence to the "world" he's been thrust into. But, Gualtieri doesn't appear to want anything more from this character than a place to live out infantile fantasies and quips. Oh well, I'm sure there's enough of an audience that appreciates that kind of writing to continue buying volumes in the Tome of Bill.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Bill the vampire! This aint your ordinary vampire book! The book is HILARIOUS!!!!! I can count on a good belly laugh every page! Full of twists and turns ..... this book deserve 10 stars! I'm currently on number 4 and these stories just keep getting better!
I had an opportunity to email Mr. Gualtieri and he was so gracious to me and responded quickly. I've been dealing with a lot of personal challenges and being able to sit down and get my laugh on with Bill and the gang is a de stressor! Keep them coming! Well written!

Just amazing overall a nerdgasm mixed with some amazingly entertaining back and forth banter from Bill and his two roomates. Currently reading "Mourning Woods" which is the 3rd book of the series and i have to say its honestly been nothing but a joy from cover to cover. The characters are fleshed out so well and the way Bill acts seems so entertainingly realistic its just hilarious! GO READ THIS BOOK! you will instantly understand what i mean. :)

When reading the description, you might expect this to be a typical under-dog sort of book. It is not, and is a fun take on what could really happen if a vampire decided to pick on a random guy who knows his sci fi, his fantasy, and a bit more. I was worried it would be over-the-top, but it was well done, and made me keeping quoting it to my friends. I will be reading the next installment!

This was a cool book. I enjoyed it thoroughly... The whole nerdy, WOW, D&D playing person becoming a vampire just slays me.. And his side kicks! I enjoy playing World of Warcraft also, so it was fun to read in a book. I would love to read the next in the series, not a conventional romance but a great read with action!

What an amazing and funny book. I bought the audio book of the first four books on a whim. I definitely did not regret it. It was funny and nostalgic. It was exciting and just immature enough to speak to the thirteen year old in me. I have already recommended it to several people and they have all thoroughly enjoyed it.

I got the sample first, and am very, very glad I did. This was one of the worst characters ever written: classless, clueless, brainless. Dead or alive, Bill's elimination from my Kindle is no loss to humans or vampires.

I enjoyed this book a lot. I laughed out loud at a few passages. I'm not generally a vampire or horror reader, so I can't say whether fans of the genre would enjoy this, but as a light and entertaining bit of escapist fiction, this worked really well for me. I just bought book #2.

Fun book with a different take on the world of vampires with the ridiculousness of a vampire computer geek being our hero. Love the series so far as I'm on book 2. See no reason I won't read them all as book 2 is even better than book 1.

Not the greatest comedy or story, but pretty good. I liked it better than many of the other horror comedies I have read, but thought it could have been funnier. I do look forward to the rest of the series and recommend it to anyone needing a laugh.

Let me first say that this is a great book. Now don't go looking for literary genius; their will be no Pulitzers found here. But I don't think that is the point. It's just a fun book that's rife with humor of the dorkiest (that's a word now) kind. It is in no way a serious read. The language is a little (just a bit) vulgar and somewhat - okay, very lewd. But Gualtieri works it into his characters seamlessly.

Bill is a great protagonist. He is also a nerd of the highest degree. So are his friends. Bill becomes a vampire and silliness ensues. Like I said, it's just plain fun. I look forward to reading the rest of the series.

While I wanted to like the hapless narrator at the beginning of the book, I just couldn't get past the constant misogyny and homophobia. I literally couldn't finish this book, despite it being a bit more tightly written as the story evolved. About half-way through, I found myself avoiding it on my Kindle and cruising the store for something different. It is rare that I don't finish a book, but ultimately I realized that while the plot was engaging, I found the characters cartoonish and the dialogue painful.

I struggled with this review it was well written and the premises was rather original for a vampire novel; however, I am just not the target market for this book. I think the humor and some of the other references included in the book would be more appreciated by late teen to possibly early thirties male readers. Since I am not male and older, I had a hard time really idenifying with the main character, so although I appreciated the author's ability and quirky style, I won't be buying more of this series.

I think I finish the first several chapters, and I kept hoping I would learn to like this guy, but boy, I really hated the main character. The author should write a book about the lead Vampire of the Region, he was the only interesting thing in the book to me...thumbs down for me.

The world just wouldn't be the same, or as funny, without Rick Gualteri. Rick's debut novel, Bill the Vampire was funny and a great, worthwhile on so many levels.

First of all: this book made me miss my metro connection. I was so immersed in the story that I didn't hear my stop until the doors already closed. Bill the Vampire was the first book in about ten years to make me miss my public transit stop. Public transit is bumpy, noisy and the Montreal metro system is like a sauna during the summer. It's really hard to concentrate or keep your place on a page at all. But, I got so lost in this book I managed to miss my stop.

For that feat alone, Bill gets 5 stars. But, that's not all.

Bill is a geek, so much so that he's even more of a massive geek than I am. Wouldn't it be funny if a dateless loser got turned into a sexy creature of the night? Well, that's what happens to Bill. Bill is great for the geek market. We get Bill. Bill is like people we see everyday. Some of those people would be better if they burst into flame on contact with sunlight, much like Bill does. Bill's a massive smart-ass, and he makes this book.

They storyline is pretty hilarious, overall. It's like jocks vs. nerds in high school, but with immortal, powerful beings. The overarching theme is "torture Bill in all ways possible," and it does just that. Geeks like watching each other suffer, what can I say?

To summarize, I had great fun reading this book. Bill was a snarky, geeky vampire and many shenanigans were had.

The vampire genre has seen a lot of ponderosity in the past decades, from the uber-stylish camp vamps of Anne Rice to the sparkly...no, forget it, I'm not going there. To wit, Rick Gualtieri decided to upend the image of vampires as suave and sexy by giving us a protagonist who is decidedly neither...but he DOES manage to kick bloodsucker ass.

In this first novel of the series, Bill, a card-carrying nerd much more realistic than the cheerful oddballs of Big Bang persuasion, encounters a sexy girl on the NYC subway who invites him to a party. Overwhelmed by his good luck (and with the little head very much outthinking the big one), Bill goes, is killed and raised swiftly from the dead to be a vampire...all so the college-Greek frat vamps can have some fun. Bill surprises them all when it turns out he's not some ordinary geek-cum-fangy-dude, but a once-in-a-vampire-generation rarity. To reveal more plot would be depriving any potential reader of too much damned fun.

If you're offended by language, sex, or nerdy guys acting and thinking like real nerds (and not the cleaned-up versions suitable for network tv), turn away now; but if you can handle all this in good fun, "Bill the Vampire" is hilarious, fast-paced, and with enough plot twists back and forth to keep even your pet lolcat intrigued. I'll absolutely be reading the rest of the series!

When a gamer designer and player finds his way into the "life" of vampire in New York City he finds the D and D manuals did not have all the rules quite right for the game he is now playing for his life. Or is it for his undeath? Fearsome fun with snark and heart

A fun comedy/Horror adventure. If you like any of the modern vampire genre you will probably like this. It is not as soap opera like as Twilight or Vampire Diaries but no where as graphic as True Blood. If it were a movie, Bill would probably be played by Zach Galifianakis.

This is the most childishly funny book ever! Bill's mind is stuck as a teenage nerd. I've been reading while I travel and have had to constantly explain why I am laughing, spontaneously and uproariously! This is a really good book. It holds your attention. If you don't know what D&D or trekkies are like than you won't find it as funny.

Not exactly predictable interesting concept but the story just didn't do it for me. I am not interested in anymore Bill the Vampire books. The Imp series caught me right away and I practically binge read the whole series.

Vampires are suave, debonaire, sexy...but what if summertime is turned who's not? That's what Bill the Vampire asks, and its one hilarious hijinks after another fir the world's first IT geek vampire (and his roomates). Keeping just enough of the tropes to connect with what you know, he changes the test up add needed to make it all work. Well written, and heat fun.

Love this book! In the beginning , I was not crazy about Bill's character but his douche baggery, sarcastic, false bravado had me laughing out loud. I look foward to more adventures of Bill The Vampire, and his posse Sally, Ed, and Tom.

I rarely write reviews, but for these books I felt I must. You will laugh while reading so often that those around you will ask what is so funny. My husband who is not a reader kept up with the story by asking "what did Bill do now?" I've read them all and I'm sorry the story is over but happy as well that it was a story that did have an ending before I got tired of it. They are about an average tech geek that never gives up no matter what life throws his way. Give them a try. You won't be sorry.

One of the most enjoyable reads I have had in a while. This book reminds me of one of my old favorites. "One Foot in the Grave"
I am now starting the second book in the series. Here is hoping it is as good as the first.

Gualtieri is witty and sarcastic. His words are easy to read and Bill.....well Bill is a nerd just like the rest of us. If you like horror...fantasy...humor...this is for you.
So nerd unit behind your new favorite vampire!!!!!

Bill the Vampire is a geeky, funny, action-y take on the genre. In over his head, newly-created vampire Bill tries to keep himself alive/undead for longer than his enemies would wish. He has a lot to learn, but with the right attitude, the help of his friends, and a bit of luck, he might be ready to fight the Big Bad and win the girl. A good read!

Sophomoric humor - what a great way to end the day!!!

If you are easily offended, this isn't the book for you, that's for sure. But if you are just looking for a quick, easy read that doesn't make you think, so you can just escape for a couple of hours, this is the one to choose.

I could read only two dozen pages before I deleted the book from my Kindle app. The use of profanity was overwhelming and unnecessary. The writing was at the Junior H.S. level, imo. I certainly will not buy and read any other books in the series.

Before I begin my review, I must say that I received a complementary copy of this book on my Kindle for review.

Bill is a slightly overweight computer gamer who can best be described as being a little on the "dorky" side. The book is in first person narration by Bill as a vampire. Initially, Bill is a vampire, and he has a flashback that informs the reader of how he got into his current predicament (he, like most males, is seduced into a vampire coven by a sexy female vampire). It was nice to see a vampire read that is told from a male point of view, but I do not recommend this read to anyone who is looking for anything serious. It contains many amusing jokes, but I must warn you that there are many times where Bill's own quirky thoughts were inserted into conversations, and it made it annoying and confusing to say the least. Overall, this is a non-serious read for anyone who has a free afternoon and does not want anything mentally engaging.

This was a fun read with a nerdy main character that had a dirty mind and mouth, but an entertaining quick wit. I was able to connect to the main character and will likely continue reading through the series. Nothing deep or insightful here, but a nice casual weekend read.

Forget everything you "think" you know about vampires. Bill Ryder will tell you just how wrong you are.
After gamer-nerd Bill meets smokin' hot Sally on the train, and is invited to her party later that night, his life,or I guess I should say his death,(as Bill would interject!), is changed forever.
Even though Bill may be dead, he is still a smart mouth geek. Which causes him a lot of grief with his new master, Jeff, who would like nothing more than to see him permanently dead.
However, Bill discovers that he isn't your normal vampire. Even though he has to learn all the rules that go along with being a new vampire he also discovers that he has few new secrets of his own. Much to the displeasure of his master.
Bill confides his change in life to his two geeky room mates. Together they all try to figure out how to keep Bill alive, well, technically dead, past his 90 day protection period. Which is no small task.

Bill's humor and insight into the world of roll playing and gaming are at times enough to make you laugh aloud. Bill never tires of trying to score with Sally, or any other hot chick that he comes in contact with, but being a vampire doesn't seem to improve his chances, much to his disappointment. But it doesn't keep him from trying, again and again and again.

I received this book free, to review. I'm hooked. Can't wait to find out where Bill goes from here.

I liked it, but I didn't love it. I had issues mostly with the constant wisecracks. I thought they were unwarranted in some cases and unnecessary in a lot of others. Maybe it was a flashback of my own personal experiences with people like that. At any rate, I was not over-the-moon enamored with the book at all.

Bill is a funny vampire but he pisses me off . He behaves like a reckless teenager at times and his roomies are no better. I described this book as full of surprises because of all the times I was surprised that Bill survived . Spoiler alert!

Overall I surprised myself and enjoyed the book. I actually laughed out loud in a couple of places and found the pacing of the story good. I admit though I almost gave up at about 50%, even though I was enjoying the storyline, because of how many times Bill referred to Sally as a bitch. I get it, you made it clear much earlier that Bill thinks she's a bitch. Stop referring to her as a bitch already! Far too much overuse.

Thank you for the Bill series. I had no idea what to expect when I chose this book- but found myself laughing while quickly turning the page to find out what happens next or how Bill gets himself out of this. Bravo!

I really enjoyed the sarcastic humor. Bill's personality makes him someone that I would've liked to have in my close circle of friends. I couldn't put the book down! I had already downloaded the next two books before I even finished reading the first one!

If you are a fan of Christopher Moore this is the book for you. I stumbled upon these online and I absolutely love them. Read this first book within three days. Usually takes me a week or more to read a book. I really enjoyed the writing style and hope to read the second one this week.

Look I know at this point the vampire genre has been beaten to death! Thankfully fans of these undead bloodsuckers have a new messiah...Rick Gualtieri! Rick has taken a character that is hundreds of years old and thankfully pumped some blood back into it!

Bill the Vampire is a must read! The take is refreshingly different and funny! Bill is not sexy. He is not cool. He's not confident. He is certainly nothing special. He is just a nerd who was in the wrong place at the wrong time! Thanks to some quick thinking however, Bill manages to set his unlife on course to change the vampire world forever because his geeky nobody just so happens to be a legendary type of vampire! Lets just hope he doesn't crap all over that legend!

Rick Gualtieri has created a wonderfully believable vampire! He's not Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. He is you or me. With a relatable main character and a supporting cast including video game making, transformer loving roommates and a sexy but crazy vampire chick from hell, Bill the Vampire takes its readers for one seriously fun ride! So grab this book and enjoy! Then go ahead and get the further adventures of Bill in his sequels! I know you'll enjoy it! Beg the author to keep putting out his adventures because the vampire world needs a nerd like bill to keep it alive (in a manner if speaking).

I was given this book for free to review by the store.

I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. Much like some of the other reviewers I almost didn't pick this book up because I am overly tired of vampire books, movies, etc... The last vampire-ish book I picked up was Twilight and that about killed it for me. Who wants to read about a bunch of whiny vampires?

What I like the most about Bill is that he is an "everyman". Bill does not have any romantic notions of being the Prince of Darkness; instead he pokes fun at vampire stereotypes and points out that the vampires in his coven are underwear model douches.

Bill and his friends are in awe that vampires and zombies actually exist and a little disappointed that werewolves are a myth. Isn't that how we all would be, well at least the 5-90 year old age bracket (boys of course)? Rather than fear what Bill has become his roommates begin charting his new abilities/ways to catch him on fire. Most men would not fear a friend-turned vampire instead we would embrace it and see what kind of cool tricks he can pull off.

To sum up my review, I loved this book so much that I paid for the second "Tome". I hope this becomes, at the very least, a trilogy.

P.S.

I saw a picture of the author and that is exactly how I imagined Bill as I read. Pretty spot on I must say.

The note from the author had me hoping this book would be both funny and scary. I laughed maybe twice and feared nothing except for "Bill's" persistent use of the "b" word to describe Sally. Why did he always use the same word to describe her? Twice would have been sufficient but what seemed like every chapter is just overkill. Use a thesaurus. I only noticed one typo and the writing style was fine I was just hoping for more of a laugh.

Smartarse, blood drinking, attitude, murder, game developer, fangs and enough geek references to sooth my inner bot.

Actually, I'm happy just knowing someone out there writes about the guy version of me, (negative on the vampire).

This is definitely not your typical dark, romantic vampire novel. It is laugh out loud funny with great one liners. Bill is an average joe, computer geek with two best friends. He meets a hot chick on the subway who invites him to a party, unbeknownst to him he is not supposed to leave the party alive. Bill survives due to his quick wit and one liners and attracts the attention of a powerful vampire who pledges to protect Bill for 90 days. Unfortunately, Bill also makes an enemy who is a powerful vampire. The story revolves around Bill trying to survive and the funny situations he and his roommates get into to try to make that happen. I received a complimentary copy of the book to review and I will be reading the next book.

When I started this series, I found a bit of it sophomoric. I would find myself skipping over some of the self-commentary. As the series developed, this became more controlled and developed. Not for everyone, but I am enjoying the series.

This book was the most entertaining book I have read in years! LOVED it! So funny! Can't wait to read the next in the series. I picture John Cusack playing Bill in this story with his same 2 buddies in "Sixteen Candles!"

This book caught we way off guard. I cannot emphasize how much I enjoyed reading it. Well placed, good characters and a strong finish. The writing is very clever without being corny. I will be ordering Book 2 momentarily. Don't let this book pass you by. It's too much fun.

I bought this as a group of the first three. Some of the funniest books I read in while. If you're anything like me you'll grow to love Bill and all his side characters. I highly recommend this if you want to laugh and have fun read.

I received a complimentary copy of this novel in exchange for my review of it.

This book has loads of laughs, it is gruesome in parts, and just plain silly in others. This is nothing like typical vampire novels, but the story is unique just like Bill is.
I felt like this story was geared more toward a male audience due to all the sexist comments about Sally, the female vampire. I could understand Bill's train of thought, since Sally is responsible for him becoming a vampire. More or less.
If you are looking for a good laugh then this is the book you would want to read. But if you are looking for something that is thought provoking, then you may want to pass on it.

Want to check out my full review? Go to [...]

I pictured Bill to look like Dan Akroyd when he was on Saturday Night Live! and I've got to tell you, it totally worked!! I laughed my butt off at this book. It's a completely different take on a subject that's mostly been populated with angst-ridden, drama queen characters. Bill's a big dork and he has dorky friends. Their quips, put downs, and one liners are perfectly done. They turn out to be 'stand up guys' with good hearts. And brave, too. And don't forget snarky. Like I said, it totally worked for me and I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good laugh.

While the main character, Bill, is an immature geek with no social skills, I still found myself rooting for him. And some of the things that happen and things characters (mostly Bill) say did make me laugh. This author is no Christopher Moore, but this was still an entertaining adventure with a smart alecky protagonist, well worth the 99 cents. I may even read the next volume.

Can't really add or take away from what the author wrote about his book. Comic horror. Although the comedy doesn't get really good till last 3rd of the book. No real horror, but pretty good writing. Quick read, too. Refreshing. Enjoy!

I received this book for free to review, and I must say I enjoyed it immensely. I read a lot of different vampire books, and I quite enjoy the take on this one. This particular vampire isn't gorgeous, he doesn't have super powers and becoming a vampire doesn't help him with the ladies in the slightest. I love the fact that Bill is just an average guy, and turns out he is just an average guy that happens to be a vampire now. He is a dork with great friends, and being a vampire doesn't change that. I have already purchased the second book in the series, and I cannot wait to read it. I read the first one in one sitting, and I will not be surprised if I read the second one the same way. I think I have found a new favorite vampire character.

This book was a refreshing change from all of the vampire novels(read "Twilight" copycats) on the market right now.

Bill is a typical nerd. His job is creating games, he plays World of Warcraft in his spare time and has two equally nerdy roommates. He is turned into a vampire by a sexy female vampire and supposed to be killed that same night. Instead he outsmarts the vampiress who made him and stays alive, which makes him the enemy of the leader of the coven. Bill seems to be the weakest of the coven, but is cocky enough and smart enough to figure out ways to stay alive to enjoy this 'life' with a little help from his friends and roommates.

This is a humorous book, but I must say it is the sophomoric, crude humor of a teenage boy. You'll spend alot of time laughing.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for by review.

I love me some vampire. This is the most original and well written vampire story I've read in a long time. My family kept looking at me funny as I consistently laught out loud through the book. I lovd Bill and can't wait to read more.

I must admit the world is overwhelmed by vampire books, usually the dark and romantic ones, and learning this was actually funny made it a welcome change. True, I was given it for free to test drive, but am buying the second volume because I truly enjoyed it. It's nice to see the everyday Joe (or in this case Bill) get to have the enjoyment of the powers and not be the brooding dark romantic that is so commonplace these days. I highly recommend it for a change of pace, especially for those of us who like a little comedy in their reading.

A well written story with some nice twists. I like the storyline and it keeps a good pace throughout the book. The "comedy" is a little lame at times but it doesn't interfere with the story. A fun read.

In the well written and very honest yet slightly rambunctious intro to this book, the author tells you exactly what this book isn't.
It isn't your usual handsome vampire makes all females swoon type of book. Instead the reader gets a glimpse of what happens when a shy awkward geeky guy becomes a so called creature of the night.
The humour is quirky and dry, but it didn't run smoothly throughout the book. It was more of an up and down wave of comedic scenes. The witty parts made me chuckle out loud and they made up for the bland less exciting bits in between.
I think the author needs to watch out for that balance, lest the non funny become a little too predictable and silly instead of witty like the rest of the storyline.
An enjoyable and amusing read.
AVP-UK

The story is OK not great just OK. Unfortunately the misogyny in this book was unforgivable. Nothing like calling a woman a "piece of ass" in the first chapter and casually calling women 'bitch" throughout the book to put me off my lunch. I'm all for mixed genres, humor and horror is one of my favorite mixes but I couldn't get past this one.

This book was really bad. The concept was pretty good, but the execution was really weak. I really think that it started to go off the rails at the introduction. You can't write an introduction about how easy it is to write comedy, then follow it up with a book that isn't funny. (And that whole bit about "if one person laughs, it's comedy"? I encourage you to set the bar a little higher.)
If a "you sucked on a guy so you're totally GAY" joke is funny to you, then you should get this book. If you expect more from your "humor" than somebody calling a woman a bitch over and over (and over and over and over and over,) this is not the book for you.

My sister read this first and she was literally laughing out loud. I was hooked, myself, after a few pages. Great character development and rapid pace. It's a great break from all the vampire porn floating around out there today. Awesome book!

I really enjoyed this book - maybe because I'm a cool geek like Bill and can relate to his character :) The 'jocks versus nerds' theme of the book is so real. I think Bill is irreverent and funny as hell in his own quirky way. Looking forward to reading more of the series.

A fantastic quick paced story with solid characters. The story leaves you wanting more. Often with sort of story we want to discover his abilities and that is the drive. In this case I found myself wanting to see the real reason for his abilities.

I listened to the AUDIO version of this book and it was fun, entertaining, and hilarious. The reader's delivery of the lines was flawless ~ my husband and I were laughing out loud and we are in our 50's.

I loved this book. As someone who is rapidly tiring of all the vampire books being churned out, this book is highly entertaining and I'm glad I made the purchase. There were many points where I literally found myself laughing out loud for an extended period of time because the wit of the characters stabbed my funny bone with a harpoon.

There were a few minor editing errors, but nothing major, and certainly nothing annoying enough or distracting enough to take away from the excellent story. I found this book hard to put down and was disappointed to reach the end. Looking forward to the continuing adventures of Bill!

I absolutely love Rick Gualtieri's sense of humor! Certainly not the typical vampire story, this is so much better! Just when you think Bill has won the day, another unexpected calamity ensues... this series is a must read if you enjoy a good giggle!

A lighter less Doom and Gloom take on vampires. A good amount of tongue-in-cheek humor. It will let you take your mind off your troubles for an hour or two; But not something I would settle down with for a long weekend read.

Great story! Nice balance between grim storytelling and laugh-out-loud funny. I do not remember laughing out loud as I was reading an action story before!

NOTE: this is the 1st of a set of 4 books and the sell a "compendium" of the 4 that is about the cost of 2 books. I recommend buying the compendium. I'm starting the 3rd book now.

Funny, charming, even if it's a smidge cliche at times. As long as Bill doesn't turn into a sop or MRA-type, or an un-fun little Michael Sue, he's interesting. Amusing enough I'll go for another in the series.

*Spoilers*

Giving the whole series a 2 because overall it's like reading the same book over and over.

Sure the bad guys grow up, going from a small time coven leader to THE DESTROYER, but Bill doesn't grow up with them.

Still weak without drinking another vampires blood.

Refuses to learn how to master his powers.

Maintains his job throughout all of this even though he is rich now.

Repeats the same banter over and over.

Series went from promising to disappointing.

I'm listening to the audio books for the first 4 books in the Tome of Bill. They are absolutely hilarious. I saw that some of the other reviewers really disliked these books, and I suppose it is because they are comedies--and we all have our own unique sense of humour. Give the books or audio books a try. You may find yourself cracking up, like I do!

First the negative's well there is only one really. The comments in brackets (mostly wisecracks) were distracting at times and could have been just added to the novel proper as stand-alone jokes or thoughts which most of them were anyway. (Some were very funny, just the bracket thing got slightly annoying.) However it is the writer's prerogative to use this form if he wishes. (Just my humble opinion.)

Now for the really good news:
The novel still got five stars because IT MADE ME KEEP TURNING THE PAGE!!! The plot line was excellent and the main character Bill stayed in character throughout the whole book. I am sure the writer will do well with these books which appear to be a series. As a fellow writer I recommend this novel to anyone who needs a laugh while being entertained. The Jack Daniels I drunk while reading it made the $3.99 price tag seem paltry.

I suggest a reading age of sixteen to old and decrepit.

I was given a free copy of this book in return for writing a review. I can't say enough how much I liked this book. As other reviewers have said, there does seem to be a glut of vampire books, most of which (Twilight) I, as a self proclaimed horror afficionado, find to be BAD!! This book kept my interest and had me laughing out loud at parts. While it might not have been as "bloody" as I usually like, it was still good. I liked that Bill didn't become a hunky vampire, and that his friends stood by him. All in all, I can't wait to read more about Bill and his exploits!!

This book is quite irreverent, not like any other vampire book out there. I, particularly like the parts where he shows what he's thinking- what most ppl would be saying under their breathe or in their heads.

You never really know what you're going to get when you buy a self-published ebook. I've read many, and this is by far the best of them. Novels about vampires are a well-tread genre, but Gualtieri certainly has his own take on these infamous creatures of the night, bringing with it a great sense of humor, some solid characters and fun plot twists. As a Gen-X geek, I really enjoyed all the nerdy pop culture references, too. I'm looking forward to the next book in the series!

I didn't hate the book. But I didn't love it either. It kept me entertained throughout and was a relatively fast read. However I was bothered a bit by the unnecessary bloodshed and how no one seemed bothered by random people dying all over the place. The book seems to be directed more towards men than women in the comments of the main character and his friends. There were a few laugh out loud moments which were fun but I was expecting more of those. Overall I would say that it was just an ok book.

I really tried to read it-but if this author ran out of profanity-it would be a novella not a book! It was like digging through feces to find the coin the baby swallowed trying to get to the story through the filth.

Not a bad story
Quick read, good enough to kill some time with.

This was my first "borrowed" book, so it was ok. If the rest are free, I'd continue to read...just to see where the story went, but will not spend money on it to find out.

The vampire comedy genre is a very limited niche market. This book proves why this market segment remains small to non-existent. Trite, corny, nonsensical, and unforgivably boring writing has earned this book a place in the trash bin.

I was given a free copy of this book and was asked to review this book and I was a little hesitant to accept the task but I decided to try something new.
I thought the book was very funny and loved how Bill was an underaverage guy and remained that way once being immortal, loved the way his friends stuck by his side, and found myself laughing out loud at some of Bill's wisecracks. I was put off by the bad language, but really enjoyed the spoof of vamps and will try to overlook it when I read the follow up book...even if I don't get it for free.

I do have to say that I am beginning to have much empathy for everyone who is tired of all the vampire books. I was given a copy of this book to review and I am very glad I did!

Nerd jokes, nerdy friends, sexy girls and enough humor to keep you laughing from the first page to the last page. A vampire who outsmarts the vamp who makes him, takes over the coven, saves his friends, but still gets one-upped by the girl just made it all that much better. As a nerd in high school, it reminded me of all the guys who played role-playing games, drinking Mountain Dew and staying up all night.

I can't wait to see if there is another - I highly recommend this novel. I have no personal knowledge of the author.

The other reviews are pretty much dead on with regards to this being juvenile and insipid. I tried it out because the series came up in relation to Terry Pratchett and had a good overall rating, but struggled through the first several chapters and then gave up. It reads like a bad attempt at crossing vampires with Revenge of the Nerds, except where Bill is both the nerd trying too hard to be cool and the a*hole jock and absolutely unlikable in every possible way.

I'm not really into vampires, but I was strongly (and repeatedly) encouraged to read this book. To say that it surpassed my expectations would be an understatement. It was fun, witty, and a quick read, all of which I appreciate in a story. The characters were also deeper than I anticipated going into the story. There's no doubt that I'll move on and read the author's next book.

A brilliantly witty take on vampires and what happens when a geeky guy becomes one of the undead. Loved the writing style, the sense of humour, and the characters – I’ll definitely be following this series!

I received a complimentary copy of this book in order to review it and have to say that it was an experience.
Bill the Vampire is a very light read that would be great for a nice rainy day. The story revolves around a nerdy, slightly overweight guy that works from home on computer games. I just couldn't get into this book though because I realized that this this isn't the book for a serious vampire genre reader. I felt that the character was very boring and his situation didn't keep me hooked as I continued my read.
I think that the most bothersome part of the book (and may I say slightly aggravating) is the parts where Bill inserts his own thoughts into a sentence. It tends to throw you off what you are reading, causing you to re-read that part without his input (which makes the story much better). I have a pulse and a sense of humor but didn't find the book humorous.
I received a complimentary copy of this book in order to review it I would suggest this book for a light read to my friends. It just isn't for me.

If you like weird funny sci-fi books you will love this one. Nothing better than a comedic vampire. It will make you laugh out loud and before you know it your quoting from it. It deserves 5 stars in my book, all day long!!!!!

I enjoyed this book so much, I made my husband read it. The references and humor had me laughing out loud while reading. THIS is the kind of vampire book I like to read! I cannot wait to see how the sequel is.

Only read this book if you enjoy "humor" predicated entirely upon sexism and homophobia. Women are "bitches" and rape is a fantasy; everything even remotely "gay" is worse than death. I borrowed this book for free (Kindle library) and still couldn't bring myself to finish it. It's just horrid.