The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

I liked precisses information about how No BP are affected because borderline disorder.
And I love the power tolos for No BP
I really gratefull to Randi Kreger.
I'aplogize for mi bad lenguaje but I' mexican
Thanks

My sister was recently diagnosed with borderline personality order and our family has had one heck of a time dealing with her and this book teaches family members how to deal with a family member with this disorder as well as how to cope with it! MUST HAVE if anyone you know suffers from this disorder!

Great foundation for understanding the disorder, followed up with practical steps to deal with how it's affecting your life. I took notes all the way through and will be rereading the power tools section again.

This book is very helpful in understanding this disorder, as well as in helping one to deal with people who have it. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has to deal with high conflict people who are borderlines.

Books are highly personal and just because I did not like this book so much does not mean it won't be helpfull to you. There is very littly out there to help you navigate relationships with borderlines so give it a try. Better yet check your library first. Considering how prevelant the problem is, a wide selection in self help books is lacking.

Helped me to understand a lot of the reasons some women act as they do. Geve us some relief as how to react to the things going on around us. It is actually a book I have needed to read and reread more than once.

When the title says this is the "essential" guide that is truth. There is so much information in this book that is absolutely necessary for my sanity in dealing with this. I will be reading and rereading and rereading. . . You get the point.

I purchased the TRIO of books on this subject. Very recently I have had reason to believe that someone close to me is suffering from this disorder. Unfortunately, that person doesn't think anything is 'wrong' with them; they are constantly blaming others for the choices they make and their shortfalls in life. This book has helped me to understand the disorder and recognize that the person is "not well" and how to cope from my perspective. Very good read. I also purchased "I Hate You - Don't Leave Me" and "Stop Walking on Eggshells", which are definitely a recommended read for someone that is dealing with a loved one or in a relationship with someone whom has this disorder. Thanks the store for bundling these books together. Worth every penny.

I thought nothing could ever top the first book Randi Kreger co-wrote ("Stop Walking on Eggshells") but her newest book does it---I wish I could give ten stars instead of five. This seemingly simple book is one of the top five most useful books I've ever read in my life---I've already reread it twice, and will be reading it again in the years to come to help keep me in the right mental place. If you want to not only understand emotionally troubled people, but also do something concrete to help yourself, push the button and order this book right now.

There are so many powerful and easy-to-use tools provided in this book that it's tough to figure out which ones to mention in this review. They all give concrete answers to the seemingly unanswerable question that always arises whenever you're faced by a troubled personality--what do you do about it?

For example, I've always heard that you need to "set firm limits" with people who would overstep your boundaries. But personally, I never really quite understood what the word "limits" actually meant, and I certainly didn't know how to set them. Nothing I ever read on the topic helped much, because what little I found was so vague.

But Randi gives example after concrete example of what limit setting actually means in a variety of situations, emphasizing throughout that it's important to understand your own greater sense of what's fair and right for yourself as well as for others. Her chapter on uncovering what keeps you feeling "stuck" provides a terrific explanation of a problem in relationships with people who are troubled. In the chapter on communication, Randi describes precisely how to communicate and actually be heard.

And the good news is that it IS possible to get your troubled person to make changes---Randi tells precisely how to do it, even while you are improving your own health and life.

If you are dealing with a person who is making your life miserable and who leaves you constantly feeling as if you are walking on eggshells, you need this extraordinary book.

Good book overall has some good strategies for those with bpd and those with family members with BPD, However like other books I've read the symptoms are so general almost any of us could fit them in the right moment in our lives. Not the book to determine if someone has BPD, In my unprofessional opinion, but would be a good resource with someone who has been or has a family member diagnosed with this condition. I would go further and say I wouldn't let the first diagnosis stand, and would get multiple opinions before you accept this is a condition you or a family member as suffering from. Sometimes the circumstances in our lives greatly effects how we contend with day to day events.

Good book overall has some good strategies for those with bpd and those with family members with BPD, However like other books I've read the symptoms are so general almost any of us could fit them in the right moment in our lives. Not the book to determine if someone has BPD, In my unprofessional opinion, but would be a good resource with someone who has been or has a family member diagnosed with this condition. I would go further and say I wouldn't let the first diagnosis stand, and would get multiple opinions before you accept this is a condition you or a family member as suffering from. Sometimes the circumstances in our lives greatly effects how we contend with day to day events.

This book provides lots of information about borderline personality disorder and ways to deal with people who can be difficult (not just folks with borderline personality disorder). Even though there is a lot of information, it's delivered in a way that makes sense and is easily understood. I like that the has information from people who are recovering from borderline personality disorder-not just textbook definitions and information. This provides a very personal component. The book also has a lot of information about personal boundaries and why they are so important...for all of us, not just those who are related to people with BPD.

This is a great book for understanding BP for the average person. Of all the books I bought this one I liked the best other than it is not a Christian perspective, but a secular perspective. I don't trust therapists to really get it and the book even says recovery for BP's is low. I pray a lot and so does he. He has been more receptive to my view on him having BP and he now sees it as clear as I do. We pray a lot and talk a lot. This book it the best of all in my opinion.

The first part of this book (describing borderline personality disorder) is very informative. Her use of professional resources is apparent there.

Unfortunately, I do not feel comfortable suggesting this book to clients because of the bias against psychotherapists, in general, as seen in her criticism of therapists talking with colleagues about difficulties they have encountered with this population or their policy to set clear boundaries regarding the acceptance of people with this disorder and her suggestion that family members refrain from using the borderline term when talking with prospective therapists. The former information seems likely to promote an adversarial approach to prospective therapists, and the latter seems likely to promote a high probability of failure in therapy since therapists who does not feel equipped to work with this issue would not know with what they were dealing until it became apparent during appointments. Then they would find themselves in the position of having to add one more rejection to the person with BPD.

The author's perspective as someone who has a family member with this diagnosis (as opposed to someone with extensive training in helping people with this disorder) is evident in that she assumed that family members who feel blamed when psychotherapists talk about the etiology of this disorder are actually being blamed. I don't doubt that the author encountered such treatment by some therapists (there being as broad range of personalities in this profession as any other), but it is also true that family members are sometimes so sensitized by their own guilty feelings that they mistakenly interpret explanations for the full breadth of how this disorder develops as negative perception of their behavior or treatment of the person with BPD.

The power tools also seem helpful. One caveat is that this author is not trained in developing interventions. This does not mean her ideas should be discounted - whatever is helpful speaks for itself. My concern is that the book does not clearly outline the limitations she brings to her writings other than mentioning in the Acknowledgments section that she was in a long-term relationship with a BP and that she interviewed professionals. The biography only mentions that she has written best-selling books. This is hardly an endorsement for writing what looks like a professional book on interventions for the family members. As such, it is even more important to critically evaluate her suggestions than it would be if she had extensive training in the field.

If you have a spouse or significant other whose behaviour is both abusive and beyond comprehension, then you need to read this book. This book will give you the info you need to survive and go on, either with that person or without.

This book was disturbing for me to read. I spent years studying BPD and working with a therapist to come to terms with the fact I grew up the child of a severe BPD. As an adult still living with my BPD parent, this book was troubling as it sends the message that the non-BPD family members need to keep a BPD content. That's teaching codependency.

I almost thought this was written by a BPD person, as the book's main message is "Don't walk away from the BPD! There's more YOU can do to accommodate a BPD family member." BPDs aren't helpless, nor are they realizing how much they hurt the non-BPDs in their family, nor will they want to change 99% of the time.

Page after page, the book discussed the triangular relationship roles (rescuer- persecutor- victim) and actually tells the non-BPD person to enter the crazymaking and do more to help the unhealthy relationship. I almost started laughing when I got to the part where the author pushes the blame on you (the non-BPDer) for not following the cookbook directions of statements to use around the BPD person. Apparently, if you don't follow the formula, you end up in the victim/rescuer role. I don't plan to carry the book around or carry a laminated cheat sheet of things I can say to a BPD family member. The secret is: it doesn't matter what you do/say, because you never know what will set a BPD person off. The healthy answer....just don't engage and walk away! Yet, that's NOT highlighted in this book as a healthy thing to do.

This book practically admonishes the non-BPD member of the family from walking away from the unhealthy cesspool of drama created by the BPD. There's even a part of a chapter dedicated to telling a non-BPD person to share their true feelings to the BPD parent/family member. Any kid of a BPD knows you might as well draw a bullseye on your shirt beforehand to help direct the ensuing verbal tirade.

Book Review of "The Essential Guide to BPD...New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells"
Written by Randi Kreger (co-author of Stop Walking On Eggshells; author of Stop Walking On Eggshells Workbook)

Being a long time parent and advocate of people wo have BPD, I had planned on just skimming this book, thinking I've read so many books on BPD I don't need to read this one front to back. It didn't happen, I read the book word for word all the way through, including re-reading parts to help it settle in all the way.

The first half of the book gives an exceptional description of BPD, including what it is like from the inside of a person with BPD. The second half is stocked full of different ways to deal with BPD behavior to help, not only to prevent the behavior, but helping those of us who love someone with BPD. Also the approaches are done in a way to actually help our loved ones with BPD learn ways to behave in a more appropriate way. It offers help for the family as a whole!

Randi has put in the book some of the latest information about BPD and unlike other books on BPD, I never felt defensive while reading it.....no blaming the parents or insisting everyone with BPD was abused or traumatized. Very up-to-date stuff in this book and written in a way that us "everyday" people can understand.

While reading it, different members of our online parent group came to mind many times, thinking I need to tell this one this and that one that and I began highlighting the book. Eventually I realized that there were more highlighted areas than non-highlighted areas, which means it really is important to read the whole book and not just a snip here and there.

If you cannot purchase the book please request your library get one, after you read it, just think of others who will benefit from it! There isn't much out there for us families and she has definitely been a leader in getting books out there to help us.

The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder is a wonderful book which deals with a very difficult condition. This book explains the splitting, issues of abandonment , and the turbulent interpersonal relationships which are often seen with Borderline Personality Disorder. It is a great book for patients, their families, and psychiatrists. I give it a 5 Star Excellent rating. By Gregg L. Friedman MD, Psychiatrist, Hallandale Beach, FL

The perspective this book takes is the bane of my existence. Rather than considering why a person with BPD acts the way they do or expresses certain emotions, the book passes it all off as a mystery and instead convinces you to train your "BP" like a dog with conditioning and positive and negative reinforcement. First of all, any psychology book that refers to a person afflicted with a disease as an object-name from their disease such as your BP, "schizo", or "aspie" should looked at warily. We're people, we are not our disease. In this particular book the tone expresses a sense of superiority to people with BPD, and makes it seems like those who have to deal with people with BPD suffer more than the BPD sufferer themselves. People with BPD aren't manipulative for the sake of being abusive. Read this book, and you might never realize that. There's very little stress on validation and a lot of the ideas in this book if executed as followed might even cause resentment and worsening of a relationship with someone with BPD if you treat them as if their emotions are just irrational behavioral problems. Please do not read this book. Read Marsha Linehan or someone else but this book is uncompassionate, incorrect, and very biased.