Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage - and the American Dream

This book relates to the book "How the West Really Lost God"! Both really demonstrate how a strong family requires a strong male influence. I mean a family in which co-equal partners respect and cherish each other in a true give and take relationship which builds a strong family life which is self-replicating.

The sexual revolution not only destroyed the family but created a female dominated pseudo-family which is a no-win environment for both sexes and their off-spring. Passion created a poverty trap which has made virtual economic slaves of women which is often impossible to escape. For men it has created the aura of irresponsible behavior because of a promiscuous, feminist society which led them into sex before they were mature enough to realize the consequences. A female dominated family perpetuates this self-destruction.

Both sexes need to work together to create a truly equal society which benefits everyone. Everyone must win for the family and society to win.

Having been interested in men's issues for many years much of the material in this book was familiar to me, and Smith does a good job of laying it all out. Many men come to be interested in these issues from their experience with family law, which often seems to be unfair to men, and that is one of the themes of this book. Like feminists, men involved in these divorce conflicts forget that there are other people involved -- the children. Therefore it is impossible for the courts to be even handed when it comes to a broken home (or a home that never was). Someone has to raise the children, and the children deserve and need support from both parents. Nevertheless, family law has gotten to be so one sided and unfair to men that men are backing away from family life and from marriage.

Men do have a choice. They can choose to keep their pants zipped, and many of them are making that choice much to the chagrin of women who regard themselves as sexually liberated. Good for them. For those men who don't make that choice I have little sympathy for men who think that they should have no responsibility for the child they helped to create. Once the tadpoles have left the meat tube it's out of the man's hands, so to speak. If a child results then that child is a person in its own right, innocent of the wrongdoing of either parent, and deserving of the support of both parents. If this way of thinking seems to favor women then so be it. The point is that the children can't be pushed aside.

It is often said that many feminists regard all women as innocent almost by definition. If women make wrong choices or bring misfortune on their own heads then it cannot be their fault -- it is always the fault of the most proximate man. Women are therefore closer to children than to adults by this way of thinking, and that is exactly how some feminists appear to wish to be treated in the world. To never have to take responsibility for anything that goes bad, to always be able to shift blame, to always have what they want when they want it, to have even their craziest conceits respected, like a child who prattles on about this or that and has the undivided attention of the adults in the room. The only difference it makes now is that women are getting away with it and have these bizarre ideas and attitudes codified in policies and even laws in certain spheres. Faced with such incredible unfairness men are simply backing away wherever these mad feminists have influence, especially in academe.

It ought to be obvious that alienating men from society is a very bad course of action, and Smith does a good job of explaining why this is so. I would add that whatever men are doing tends to become the central thrust of the whole society, and if they are hostile to the current society then that society cannot survive. We have seen it again and again in modern times. When most of the men decide to convert to fundamentalist Islam, for example, then what can anyone else do? They have to follow. If nothing else, the declining birth rate that we already see manifest is going to destroy our society eventually, perhaps in as little as 3 or 4 generations. America isn't going to disappear, though, it's simply that Anglo-Western culture will be replaced by something else, a culture perhaps more congenial to men, such as Islamic culture or Hispanic culture.

The book is mostly an informal series of anecdotes, quotes, and observations than a detailed analysis. The statistical and experimental book is elsewhere or yet-to-come.

The experiences of other men, as described in this book, jibe with many of mine and my friends experiences. As do the reactions and mental adjustments. All of us respond to insults, risks, threats, and poor treatment. In areas described in this book the cultural level of the actions and the human (focusing in his book on male) reactions are logical for everyone who is a student of human behavior.

Well written and keeps a good pace. Not sure I would instantly agree with Dr Smith's conclusions. They do provoke thought on how to approach these cultural issues constructively.

So many books written today have an agenda. This is not one of them.

Dr. Helen Smith is a leading authority and voice in this new age of sexual politics. Instead of writing a book about "the way she sees it", like many books written today by people fronting feminist theories or promoting feminist doctrine, Dr. Smith does something else.

She looks at the statistics and the current trends, and makes the connections. Nothing more.

This book will explain much about the way our society works right now. Perhaps uncomfortably so.

I originally heard Helen on the Tom Leykis show and was glued in to everything that she was saying. Her book echoes the same discussion, with intriguing perspectives! I really understand where she is coming from. It's nice that a female actually takes the time to understand male behavior. Great read on my Kindle.

This book was recommended by none other than the "professor" himself: Tom Leykis. Dr. Helen was a guest on his internet show on blowmeuptom.com. Dr. Helen did a great job with this book. Her research results in the book correctly explains the current state of being a man in a western civilization culture that favors women in the legal system, politics, education ,marriage etcetera. Not only does Dr. Helen find and explains the problem, but she has valuable tips and recommends various organizations that give men a voice. Dr. Helen's insight is refreshing for the simple fact that she is a women. I would have given the book 5 stars, but I feel she could have used more detailed stories from the men she interviewed for her book. It's a great read for all men.

The best introduction to the MRM for anyone wondering, "what are they all upset about". She gets everything right. It's not written from a "what's good for women" perspective, but from a "what's good for men" perspective - imagine that !

This is a must read. It explains clearly why many men are no longer interested in marriage with an American woman. It goes into detail about the mess that the Femanazi movement has created. It also has some good examples of how to get out of the mess that American men have been subjected to and partially helped to create. Two really good things about this book that I found were 1) It was written by a woman who appreciates real men, and 2) it gave some great examples on how to turn the problem around for future generations.

I would go as far as to say that this is one of three books that every high school male should read. The other 2 are The Mystery Method, by Mystery and any neuro logic programming book that comes with a workbook. The Mystery Method would give high school males a clear picture of why high school girls act the way they do; neuro logic programming would teach them to set and achieve goals in a positive manner like NFL superbowl quarterback Russell Wilson; and this book which teaches them how to protect themselves against the Femanazi movement. Please note that I do not agree with the PUA industry but Mystery has clearly outlined how many American females think.

Five stars for Dr. Smith. Zero for the store's formatting of her book for Kindle. Any time a word is spelled with "fi," "ff," or any other combination where a typesetter might use a ligature, the book simply omits those letters,making the sentence difficult to read. (In fact, a sentence containing the word "difficult" is difficult to read.)

Kindle's sins against typography are legion, but this is the worst. Please hire a consultant, the store ( Matthew Butterick, perhaps), to make Kindle books more readable.

Dr. Smith's work deserves better presentation.

Buy the book. Do not buy the Kindle version.

Excellent primer on facing the reality of discrimination against men (and fathers) in all facets of life. Some (mostly women) would say pay-back time, others (mostly men) would shake their heads and move on. Going Galt sounds better all the time! Helen, at least, gets it.

My initial impression (first 50 or so pages) was that this book, although obviously well researched, seemed a little superficial. Initially, it was also a tad repetitive, perhaps to prevent unsympathetic readers from disregarding it as purely anecdotal. However, it picked up energy and content quickly, and the chapter on "taking action" was worth the book price and then some. Dr. Helen is courageous for addressing this issue, one that most Americans have chosen to ignore thus far. Editing could be a little tighter. Occasionally it was hard to tell where quotes ended and narrative resumed. That being said, buy it. Buy it now and share it with everyone.

Excellent,she has summed up my life perfectly, the situation I saw between my parents and later experienced myself,in marriage and divorce, the "knows how to hit without causing bruises" domestic violence charge that ruined my army career after 2 wars with no pension to show for it ,and the language studies for my next phase of my life lived abroad ,saying farewell to a place I called home but is no longer my fathers country.

Excellent primer on facing the reality of discrimination against men (and fathers) in all facets of life. Some (mostly women) would say pay-back time, others (mostly men) would shake their heads and move on. Going Galt sounds better all the time! Helen, at least, gets it.

My initial impression (first 50 or so pages) was that this book, although obviously well researched, seemed a little superficial. Initially, it was also a tad repetitive, perhaps to prevent unsympathetic readers from disregarding it as purely anecdotal. However, it picked up energy and content quickly, and the chapter on "taking action" was worth the book price and then some. Dr. Helen is courageous for addressing this issue, one that most Americans have chosen to ignore thus far. Editing could be a little tighter. Occasionally it was hard to tell where quotes ended and narrative resumed. That being said, buy it. Buy it now and share it with everyone.

Excellent,she has summed up my life perfectly, the situation I saw between my parents and later experienced myself,in marriage and divorce, the "knows how to hit without causing bruises" domestic violence charge that ruined my army career after 2 wars with no pension to show for it ,and the language studies for my next phase of my life lived abroad ,saying farewell to a place I called home but is no longer my fathers country.

Helen Smith does a good job outlining the reasons why men are not committing to marriage. She articulates many of the feelings that I myself have had, but hadn't quite put into words. Most revealing is the observation that men who achieve the same financial stability as their fathers and grandfathers are finding that they receive much less for their efforts than preceding generations.

Having gone to an Ivy League school myself, I have been stunned by the revelation that women gravitate more toward socially adept and charming guys than academically accomplished ones, especially for short term "encounters." It has certainly affected my incentives and motivation. The book contains a troubling comment by a computer programmer that his coworkers didn't want to get married not because they didn't like women, but because they simply could not relate to them at all. These are men who are actually earning good incomes that could support a family. And they are tuning out, because of the subtle but pervasive awareness that the risks of marriage are too high compared to the hoped-for rewards.

Smith could have been better in some areas. For example, she makes a big deal out of women's studies classes on campus, but her claim that this significantly reduces male enrollment in colleges is far-fetched. Most men would simply gravitate to other departments that were less ideologically driven, such as business and economics, the STEM subjects, and the life sciences. There were times when it appeared that she was making a big deal out of small things. For example, she devotes lots of space to the rule change that allows accusations of rape on campus to be proven by a preponderance of the evidence (instead of beyond a reasonable doubt). I can see why this would make men less likely to engage in the frat party and "hookup" culture, but it seems far-fetched that it would make them drop out of college altogether. Those who did probably shouldn't be in college in the first place.

Some of Smith's recommendations at the end are quite bleak. She says to marry someone who makes as much money as you, and perhaps more, so that you lose less in a divorce. She also recommends working less hours and spending more time with the kids, so that you have a better shot at getting child custody (apparently, time spent with kids is a huge factor that family courts look at). Although this kind of advice sounds depressing, it reveals much about how distorted incentives have become nowadays.

A good read. For those who would like to probe deeper, I would recommend blogs like Dalrock and Chateau Heartiste (Smith includes a quote from the latter in the book).

This book really opened my eyes to what our society has become in the post-feminist era. I encourage every man, and the women who care about men's issues, to talk about them and make men and boys aware of what they will deal with growing up and living as men in our current society, and how to avoid the pitfalls that young men make.

Dr. Smith has done a fantastic job of pulling back a curtain most of us didn't know was there. The small actions in our day to day lives can have enormous impact over time and they have. Thank you for all of your efforts, past, present, and future.

This book is a timely arrival! It provides a comprehensive description of the dire situation experienced by a multitude of men in the U.S. The book is clearly written and forthright in its purpose. It not only explains the legitimate fears and substantial risks that so many men face today when considering their relationships with women, but it also actually offers workable ways for them to begin to regain their courage and to reclaim the respect of a society that appears to devalue its men and masculinity, and which may have swung just a little too far from reason.

I found it very difficult to put the book down.

Helen Smith says what has far too long been silenced by the mainstream. Besides men, women need to read this too, it would answer questions on why men have become so closed off and so against committed relationships or going further in a relationship. This book not only belongs on the store.com but it should be in every campus in America. The book is brilliant, eye opening, and speaks the truth.

I must laud Helen Smith for her important work and for writing this important book. Sadly, if it had been written by a man, it would be attacked as sexist and misogynous. And this is exactly the point. Men are invariably viewed with suspicion if they raise questions of equality from a man's point of view. Having an adult daughter, I'm happy to see the great strides women have made in the past half century. But also having three adult sons, I want to see their rights addressed and views accepted as well. Good going Helen!

A book most pertinent to our time, summarizing how every man of my generation feels regarding the misandry deeply entrenched and rarely acknowledged in our society. An indespensable tool in the fight for men's rights in America.

Heard her interviewed on the Tom Leykis podcast. She's done her homework of the polarization between the sexes. I couldn't believe the blatant,outright bias in the judicial system against men in paternity cases where,in one case, the book denotes a women in her 30s sexually assaulted a teenage boy, impregnates her, and the court forced the boy to pay child support---WOW!!! And in another case where a women becomes a mother,purposely, without the man's knowledge by committing a sex act, with a condom, she lies to the man that she through the condom away in order to get pregnant, i.e., paternity fraud. I could go on but one synopsis I vehemently agree with is that men today are behaving rationally in abstaining marriage with women because there's little benefit today based on said paternity bias/fraud, the high risk of loss of assets in a divorce ( in Florida women are fighting for permanent alimony) and the sense of entitlement some women believe in (i.e., the Prince Charming scenario and the "you're not agreeing with what I just said",aka, " you're not listening", garbage).Ya I would agree her writing style is very choppy but her facts are educational as well as compelling. You can see her promotions of her book all over YouTube. She's one of many people discussing various segments of marriage and laws that advocate bad ratchet female behavior i.e., Tommy Sotomayor(movie "Fatherless America"; coming soon), Tom Lykis as well as the MGTOW movement by way of not dating and/or having ANY relations with single parent females because the current laws are bias against men (e.g., man in Michigan fighting the courts for paying for a child that is NOT his). The bottom line: just stay away from them because it's not mentally healthy.

Dr. Helen Reynolds has a long recorded public presence through her blog, her appearances with PJ Media, and her occasional appearances on her husband's blog, Instapundit. She has shown herself to be a reasonable, intelligent, and evenhanded writer. I've noticed that some of the reviews for her book are deliberately misleading and in some cases downright rude. Think long and hard on what kind of person would be threatened by equality between the sexes. Think of who would be threatened by a book like this.

Just finished reading this excellent book. However, there could have been more topics discussed like domestic violence against men and how popular media is portraying domestic violence as always as man on woman (not the other way).
There should have been more discussions on how Waren Ferell was protested in Toronto University and how militant feminists act to shame, silence and apply censorship.
And also in the action plan suggestions section in your book, you have encouraged men to speak out but I find most liberal media websites applies censorship in their comments section to anyone who are disagreeing with their views. (guardian, huffpost, rawstory, thinkprogress are examples)
However, this is an excellent book and thanks for writing this!