So You Want to Talk About Race

Ijeoma’s book on race is essential reading for anyone who wanted to call out their racist uncle at Thanksgiving but felt unsure of what to say. It’s both a practical guide to being anti-racist and a primer on the history and dynamics of systemic racism in America. It’s also a fast, accessible read, and incredibly well written like all of her work.

I'm a white woman. This book should be required high school reading. Oluo provides needed advice for white people on how to talk to other white people and to people of color about race. First, she explains the problem of racism from a mega perspective as opposed to a micro one. In other words, racism is inherent in society and culture, it's not just a problem between two people. She writes in a very down-to-earth style for everyone to understand and provides examples. Race needs to be something we talk about, not hide from. Until we talk about it, racism isn't going away. Since as white people, we have the privilege, we also have the power. It's kind of like Spiderman: With great power comes great responsibility. But until we recognize that white men have the power systemically, we can't change anything. First comes the acknowledgment, then the discussions, then the change. Oluo deals with gender discrimination and sexual identity discrimination, too. (She's a lesbian.) Having the words for the discussions, and knowing what's off limits as subject matter, has made me feel more confident in my discussions about race. I have so many questions. How do I ask them without offending? Oluo helps. Make the world a better place. Read this book. Get an extra copy and give it to one of your open-minded friends who thinks they are not racist. Tell them to pass it forward.

Ijeoma explores a broad range of topics. As such, her analysis is superficial and lacks nuance, analysis, and data. This would be a great book for racist folks who don't know any Black folks, but not for anyone who has ever read any other books or actually talked to a Black person.

Racism 101. Straightforward and honest summary of terms we often hear but may not have bothered to look up. It should start conversations that need to be had - from both sides of the aisle. More than just explanation or conversation, though, the author demands action.

As one of the members of a book club I belong said (I’m paraphrasing here) the book read like the author was attempting to score points from social media arguments that have spilled onto the page.

Many of the arguments are logically inconsistent and at times inadvertently offer justifications for the opposition’s position, or at the very least shed light on an impasse where people are talking in circles, past each other, than having a constructive discourse.

This book is packed full of truth and actions steps to break down systems of oppression. Take the time to read this but even more so be brave enough to follow through on the concrete action items provided!

I'm a white woman. This book should be required high school reading. Oluo provides needed advice for white people on how to talk to other white people and to people of color about race. First, she explains the problem of racism from a mega perspective as opposed to a micro one. In other words, racism is inherent in society and culture, it's not just a problem between two people. She writes in a very down-to-earth style for everyone to understand and provides examples. Race needs to be something we talk about, not hide from. Until we talk about it, racism isn't going away. Since as white people, we have the privilege, we also have the power. It's kind of like Spiderman: With great power comes great responsibility. But until we recognize that white men have the power systemically, we can't change anything. First comes the acknowledgment, then the discussions, then the change. Oluo deals with gender discrimination and sexual identity discrimination, too. (She's a lesbian.) Having the words for the discussions, and knowing what's off limits as subject matter, has made me feel more confident in my discussions about race. I have so many questions. How do I ask them without offending? Oluo helps. Make the world a better place. Read this book. Get an extra copy and give it to one of your open-minded friends who thinks they are not racist. Tell them to pass it forward.

Ijeoma explores a broad range of topics. As such, her analysis is superficial and lacks nuance, analysis, and data. This would be a great book for racist folks who don't know any Black folks, but not for anyone who has ever read any other books or actually talked to a Black person.

Racism 101. Straightforward and honest summary of terms we often hear but may not have bothered to look up. It should start conversations that need to be had - from both sides of the aisle. More than just explanation or conversation, though, the author demands action.

As one of the members of a book club I belong said (I’m paraphrasing here) the book read like the author was attempting to score points from social media arguments that have spilled onto the page.

Many of the arguments are logically inconsistent and at times inadvertently offer justifications for the opposition’s position, or at the very least shed light on an impasse where people are talking in circles, past each other, than having a constructive discourse.

This book is packed full of truth and actions steps to break down systems of oppression. Take the time to read this but even more so be brave enough to follow through on the concrete action items provided!

Are you working on yourself to check your white privilege? Taking action to dismantle structural white privilege and white supremecy? Reading articles, websites and books? Trying to piece together the issues with the language around white supremacy? This book is for you. Trying to explain to your loved ones why Racial Justice is so important to you? You need this book. It discusses so many racial justice topics and phrases clearly, authentically and with heart. Punches don't appear to be pulled and I think that was necessary. I highly recommend this book. In fact, I hope you read it in your book club, buy one for your community Little Library, and make it the book you give for birthdays this year.

Chapters important to me were: "What is intersectionality and why do I need it?", "But what if I hate Al Sharpton?", "How can I talk about affirmative action?" and "What is cultural appropriation?"

Two chapters broke my heart: "Why can't I touch your hair?" and "Why are our students so angry?"

Two favorite lines: "Nothing lets you know you are going to die alone like when you try to find a seat in a school cafeteria..."
"To refuse to listen to someone's cries for justice and equality until the request comes in a language you feel is comfortable with is a way of asserting your dominence over them in a situation."

You may have seen blog posts about paying Black Women for their work - for taking time to educate us. This needed education is a Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Small Business Saturday bargain rolled into one at thrice the price!

As an old white woman, growing up in the Civil Rights Struggle in the '50's, this is the book I've been waiting for! First, kudos to the author for being willing to educate white people and to reliving what were, I'm guessing, traumatic events from her life, to give concrete examples of racism., exclusion, over and under visibility growing up as a WOC in the very white Pacific NW.
The author explains clearly what to do, and the reverse. She not only brings up every question white people have ever wanted to ask, answers it in full, but for me, the best part of the book is the advice for action. There are so many things we can do, to educate one another, and to make change in the structural racism we often don't see or have direct experience of. It's on us, and she's given a clear path to what we need to know to become active in the struggle.

Oluo's writing on race is some of the best that I have read. She has an amazing ability to convey important and complex ideas in straightforward language. Each chapter is very focused on a particular question, and through story and example she clarifies the issues and leads the reader to a better understanding. I got about half way through the book when it arrived in the mail, and when I was out shopping later, I picked up a second copy because I know I will want to give this book to friends.

As a teacher, chapter 9 "What is the school-to-prison pipeline?" had me near tears. The story of a 5 year old about to be suspended for having the kind of very bad day that can happen to 5 year olds is a good example of what Oluo has managed in this book. By looking at the personal and then expanding outward, with research (several pages of notes referring to studies and research papers), Oluo is able to help us to understand the impact of the societal structures that uphold racial injustice. The book also has some concrete examples of what we can do to make positive changes.

Starting off light and moving carefully and purposefully through deeper topics, Ijeoma Oluo walks us through the vocabulary of race, questions and issues of race, and commonly-held beliefs. She is patient but firm. She allows for complete failure and even encourages readers to expect it, but she doesn't have time for excuses. She wants us to do the work, and she's laid out a fairly compelling program for doing so.

In addition to race, there is information on intersectionality, LGBTQ, gender and other issues.

If you've done a fair amount of work on race issues, this book may have a lot of retread and feel remedial at times. There are few funny stories to lighten the load (though, I personally found her phone call with her mother who had recently had an "epiphany" about race pretty humorous, in the grim "yeah, been there" sort of way.) It's actually a self-help book, complete with lists and prescriptions.

Even if the explanations are remedial, I wholeheartedly recommend the end of every chapter where she skillfully applies things to do or say in tense situations, from all sides of the equation. If you are black, try X. If you are white, try Y. If you are straight, try thinking Z, etc. There are ways to think about things, lists, very helpful phrases to memorize, and loads of information.

It is probably worth having this book handy for those who care about or encounter racial or other situations of bias. It's a reference book of a new and helpful kind.

Wow! I am exhausted, yet I can’t rest my mind or catch my breath because now I have something to say. BUY THIS BOOK! Yes, I’m talking to you, white guy with your college degree and professional job and mortgage. Hey, relax. I’m a white dude too, and I earned my B.A. back in the late 80s, so I’m not jealous of you or angry at you.

I made it through every chapter and all the way to the end of the book (including the acknowledgements), and so can you if you’re not afraid of listening to someone say things that will do more than make you feel “uncomfortable” (a word the author warns readers about in her Introduction). I think that you will feel a lot more than “uncomfortable” if you read this. It might make you feel rage (I would rather use an expletive here for emphasis, but I’m sure the monitors at the store would refuse to post this book review if I used bleep-bleep words to get my point across). It may make you want to defend yourself (“I’m not racist!”), and want to refute her opinions and conclusions (“That’s not true!”), and ask for verification for the allegations (“When did that happen?”). It did for me. I’m being honest here. My reaction was not calm or contemplative. It was just the opposite. But I kept plowing forward, underlining words and phrases that jumped out at me and punched me in the face as well as stuff that made me ask “What were you thinking, you crazy, stupid white person?” Yep, my copy is full of underlines and comments and exclamation marks (and a few question marks).

Look, I’m not anti-white. Period. I like my freckly and hairy pale skin (except at the beach, cuz I get lost in the sand). I’m not a “jump-on-the-bandwagon” kind of a guy, who does what other liberals do in order to feel accepted into their clique. I’m a skeptic. I rarely believe stuff I hear if it defies logic or seems unlikely that anyone would do or say such a thing. But living in this age, with all the cell phones and videos online showing white people (citizens, not cops) saying and doing ridiculous stuff toward some black person or visitor from another country or U.S. citizen just minding his/her own business. Well, I am much more likely to believe it now (and this isn’t just cuz’ Trump and his in-your-face defiance won the 2016 election, and angry people feel it is now okay to make America racist/great [sic] again). The only thing that would change my mind would be if it all stopped. Well, it won’t, and so Ijeoma Oluo decided to write a book and speak her mind about what she saw, what she heard, and what she felt (physically, with her body). Are you brave enough to listen to her? I was. Look, if you’re not brave, then go find another book to read. There are plenty of less in-your-face happy-feel-good stuff available online. But don’t be upset with me if I suggest that you’re a coward. Yes, that’s what I think, and I’m allowed to, unless you prove me wrong. So, what is it going to be? Are you still reading my review, or are you a coward?

Good, you’re still with me. I read the Introduction and the first chapter and had to set the book down. I felt like the author was angry, very angry, and I didn’t really want to read any more. I didn’t like someone metaphorically grabbing me by the shirt and shaking my as she screamed at me. Yep, that’s how I felt. But, I’d just spent money on this book, and I was expected to read it for a workshop I attended at my Unitarian Universalist church called “Living the Pledge” (to end racism). So, I couldn’t just say that I read 22 pages and then gave up because I had my feelings hurt. Nope. I’m not a quitter. I calmed down, reexamined what I wanted in life, and then I picked it up again and read it. I’m glad that I made that choice. Life is full of choices. Mine was good (for me).

Now, I am not going to summarize the main theme of this book, or list the top ten suggestions Ijeoma made, or retell all the personal stories of abuse and disrespect. If you want that, then buy and read the book yourself. But, I want to point out two things that really spoke to me.

One: If you aren’t black, then you don’t know what it feels like to be followed around a store and suspected of being a thief. I’m not black, and I’ve never seen this happen to me in a store. How about you? That would make me very, very angry (I’m using non-expletive words here, though I’d rather use them). I wouldn’t buy anything there, and I wouldn’t come back, and I’d tell all my friends just what the employees do. Here’s the question that I have. Why would a sales person do that? Were they trained to do that, to stereotype and suspect evil of certain people, or people who do certain things (like pick up clothes, set them down, and go to the next section)? I wonder. And, more importantly, do I do that very thing, watching young people, or poorly-dressed people, or people I don’t know who are coming close to me (who also happen to be…yes, black) to “make sure everything is okay” or some other racist or ageist or elitist action like that? Do I? That seems to be a major point in this book. Inward examination. Introspection. Looking in the mirror. So, right now, I feel compelled to ask myself, “Do I do that too?”

Two: Do you say the pledge anymore, as an adult? I did, recently. Kids are forced to say those words in many public schools: “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.” Okay, so I’m an atheist. So is the author. I do NOT say two of these words, “under God”. Does this bother you? I stand. I take off my hat. I put my hand over my heart. I say the other 29 words, but that religious addition (1954) is offensive to me because I do not see this country as a theocracy. It is a democracy, under humans and for humans, not controlled by or dedicated to a God or god or gods. Well, Ijeoma’s son had an even bigger question. Is there “liberty and justice for all”? For little black boys who play with toy guns outside? Nope. Not after what happened to Tamir Rice. Ijeoma describes her conversation with her son, as she explains to him why he, a little brown boy, cannot play with any toy gun outside his father’s house anymore. Why? Because his father did not want his young boy to get shot by a cop who thought it was a real gun, and has been trained to use lethal force when in doubt or fear (not after being shot at, mind you, just if the cop feels the possibility of danger inside his or her head). Long before Kaepernick chose to kneel his views in defiance to the National Anthem regarding this “land of the free”, a little brown boy knew that it wasn’t nice to force kids to repeat words that were lies. Yep, a lie. America isn’t a land where all of its citizens are free. Not if you’re black. So, what do you think. Should black kids still be forced to say these words, even though they’re not true? Should you, or I? Should I focus on the dream, and ignore the reality of inequality in America? I wonder.

There is so much more, but I want to leave the good stuff for you to discover on your own. This book is often shocking. Its words are often abrasive. Its style is often bruising. That’s how Ijeoma Oluo writes. She uses the F-bomb, the A-word, and says stuff that might turn your ears and cheeks red if she were standing two feet from you. But her words tell a story that you should hear. You don’t have to agree with her conclusions, but you should show her the respect of listening to what she says. Why? Because she went through that $h!t. Even if it is not the style you’d like to hear. Even if you prefer non-attacking and non-combative means of expression. Even if you’d rather her lower her voice and smile when she tells you about the atrocities that happened when you’re not there. Deal with it. Listen. And examine your own life. No, if you’re reading this then it is likely that you didn’t stomp on some black lady back in the 1960s or shoot water cannons at teenage girls or drag some black kid behind your truck. It is likely that you went to a college where there were many black kids, and you shop at stores where black people stand in line in front or behind you, and you just might worship with a few black people (maybe) on Sundays or Saturdays or mid-week. You probably really, really, really want to be regarded as non-racist and thoughtful and seldom (if ever) rude. Well, read this book, because you just might discover that you’re not who you think you are. You have room to improve, and that doesn’t start with how you treat a black person you see in McDonalds. You start by reflecting on your past, and considering the advantages you gained by just being you, some white person in a white house going to a school where most of the kids were white.

I’ve warned you. And I’ve dared you to stand there and take it. The ball is now in your court. What are you doing to do? I recommend this book, if you aren’t a coward. And, when you finish, Go find Michelle Alexander’s book and read it too.

This book is a collection of blog posts about the author's personal experience with a handful of current issues concerning people of African descent in the United States. The author was raised by her Caucasian mother in Seattle, one of the whitest and most liberal parts of the United States. She has not moved from that area. Thus her personal experience of racism towards people of African descent in the United States is fairly limited.

While it is very readable and a solid first effort, the title and description suggests this book would include more discussion of racial issues from a broad spectrum of perspectives. I expected interviews, quotes and references to other people who have experience with racism and not just racism towards people of African descent who were born in the United States. Not of that is included in the book. Also, while there is quite a bit of research and statistics that could have been included to back up her points, she does not include much of it. If the book had been titled and described properly, I would not have bought it, but I would have checked it out of the library or read it off her blog.

This thought provoking book has quickly become one of my favorites, so much so that I would recommend it for students of sociology as well as those enrolled in high school. The book is well written and organized to beautifully discuss, with reason, the subject of race and societal inequities. The book assumes nothing, and rationally discusses the definition of racism and how to unemotionally converse with others about it. The author handles the subject rationally and gives the reader pause to think about their own perspectives.

I enjoyed reading this book and will recommend it to my adult classes as a way to reframe race in society today. Big ideas start small and this author has given us all a framework to begin.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read an Advanced Reader Copy in exchange for an honest review.

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo. #SoYouWantToTalkAboutRace #NetGalley

This 2018 book presents an outstanding clear-eyed discussion of racism in contemporary America, aimed at providing readers with the tools to have more constructive dialogues of their own. It explores concepts like privilege, microaggressions, and structural injustice, addressing some of the common objections that can unfortunately derail a conversation about race before it achieves anything productive. By breaking down those points that readers have likely either heard or said before, author Ijeoma Oluo skillfully positions us to avoid such roadblocks in the future.

You won't necessarily agree with everything Oluo has to say in this book, but you'll come away with a far better understanding of many social justice issues that intersect with race in this country. Even for a reader with views largely similar to the author's, it's an immensely clarifying read.

NOTE: This review specifically references women and girls, only because that is how I am currently engaging with it, and I'm attempting to inspire parents and their children to approach this book together. This book is necessary for every man, woman and teen, if you care about the person who stands next to you in the DMV, in the supermarket, at a pedestrian crossing...and even more so if you don't think you do.
How we treat and care for each other is truly indicative of the world we will live in: if you pee in the drinking water, we're all stuffed.

* * *
Finally! The book that gives young women of colour the words they could never find and young white women the necessary window into the world of oppression that they live beside every day!
I ordered this when it first hit the shelves and found that Ms. Oluo's language to be wry, generous, patient, firm, serious and never lacking gravitas.

She does not blame; she challenges EVERYONE to re-evaluate what they thought they knew, what they take for granted, what they think and feel and how they approach the world every day.

I am reading this book with a group of 7th grader girls (white and African American) along with fiction like Linda Williams Jackson's "Midnight Without a Moon," and Jewell Parker Rhodes' "Ghost Boys" and Angie Thomas' "The Hate You Give." It's been phenomenal: it's a conversation-starter, that's for sure, but it also gives (especially the white students) an entree into an American experience that they live beside daily, and yet may never "see." It gives all these girls (from both sides of the racial divide) words to describe their experiences, and to name their misunderstandings.

It IS adult non-fiction. I know that there is a lot that these girls may not quite "get" yet. But, keeping in mind that adults routinely underestimate the smarts and maturity of the youth, I have found this book to be inspirational and informative to them. It's not an easy read emotionally, and society seldom gives us "permission" to openly discuss taboo subjects, but it's desperately important to do so. Reaching across any divide is the first step and this book has your back.

Most importantly, this book opens windows and builds bridges between experiences; between girls from vastly different backgrounds and lives, between girls and the books they are reading and between girls and the society that they live in. It addresses so many different forms of oppression from race to sexism to orientation to those with physical and mental disabilities that it becomes a call for everyone to "check their privilege" and step up to fight all forms of oppression, because only then can we all be free. It's a game-changer.

P.S. If you have ever had ANY question about current race relations, read this. Scan the table of contents first, you'll probably find what you're looking for!

This book is so important, especially in today's society. I really, strongly, believe every white person in America needs to read this book. Especially people who believe they are allies and want to continue to grow and become better allies.

Oluo is an amazing writer and breaks down the issues in our society gracefully and effectively. She builds her arguments on facts and logic. As a white person, I am better for having read this book and will continue to apply what I learned through this book daily. I have given this book to two other people I know and would give it more. I think this is the most important book I've read in years -- and I'm an avid reader.

BUY THIS BOOK! Read this book!

I just got past the first two pages of Chapter 2 and my eyes are tearing up to the point that I'm having difficulty reading. I'm an immigrant and a PPOC--I feel Person of Colour isn't enough for me, I have to add Privileged as well because I've been white when it matters, for the system, broken for so many, has rewarded me well and I've reaped the benefits. And it's only after three decades of living in white America that I'm starting to see the costs of that privilege.

Thank you, Ijeoma Oluo, for writing this book. Your writing will become part of my guide as I continue on this painful journey of unwrapping my own privilege and oppression, which have happened silently as I've been distracted by the capitalist dream.

I listened to this on audio and yeah, buddy. This was great. It taught me a lot, despite the fact that I saw this presented as an intro level read a few months ago. On the one hand, I agree. Oluo does a truly fantastic job of explaining basic concepts and also why she chooses one definition over the other. Also, her explanation of microaggressions was like earth-shatteringly better than the definition we got in our mini-diversity lecture during law school orientation. Unfortunately, I think it will take approximately six more reads or listens for me to be able to describe a microaggression to someone else at her level. But oh my goodness, speaking of checking your privilege, she talks about the privilege of having a four year degree in that chapter and the whole thing wound up blowing my mind. It was a really great read and I definitely recommend if you’re interested in brushing up on or introducing yourself to topics surrounding race.

Beautiful contribution to our ever expanding lexicon of melanin-deficient wickedness.

Brave, bold, courageous, strong, brave, boundary breaking, bold, strong brave author Ijeoma Oluo charts new territory in our necessary and ongoing struggle with intrensic, subliminal, institutionalized, insidious white supremacy and other disgusting cracker pathologies.

Highlights were the passages where she talks about how POCs have to struggle but are brave and strong. Also parts about white evil (whole book) were appreciated. 5 Stars!

I read this book because I follow Ijeoma on social media and I admire her passion. As an education activist, I work most often at the intersection of race and socioeconomic disadantages. The examples she provides and her personal narrative are so similar to those of the kids with whom I work. This book is for anyone who doesn’t just want to talk about being better but actually wants to do better.

People use the phrase "required reading" a lot these days. But if you are a white person who truly strives to be an ally in the fight against racial inequality, this book truly is required reading. No matter how "woke" you think you are, you will learn something. If you've ever thought "I believe in racial equality, but what can I do?", you need to read this book. If you don't know what "intersectionality" means, you need to read this book. If you take offense to the phrase "check your privilege" or the idea that you have been occasionally, if unintentionally racist, you need to read this book. If you think you are immune to committing micro-aggressions (or don't know what micro-aggressions are), you need to read this book. If you are a white person living in Trump's America (even if the phrase "Trump's America" makes you shudder), you need to read this book. Before we can set about changing a society built on hundreds of years of institutionalized oppression of people of color, we need a solid grasp on what we are fighting for and all the ways in which the daily lives of white people hurt non-whites. It's a primer for white allies in our continued social justice education. On top of all of that, Oluo is simply one of the best writers out there today. She even manages to throw in a few LOLs to help the medicine go down.

I’m slowly reading this book—slowly, because I want to absorb it sufficiently to use its arguments in working for justice in a white supremacist country. Ms. Oluo walks a fine line most gracefully, between anger at centuries of oppression of black people and kindness in offering guidance on how to be an effective ally. It’s also supported by research and personal stories that make it very readable.

There is no shortage of books written by people of color these days, inviting, begging, pleading and imploring white people to notice, to listen, to learn, to self-examine and to prepare ourselves to join the fight for racial justice. Ijeoma Oluo’s book “So You Want to Talk About Race” should be at the top of the list.

There is something for everyone here. Full of guidelines, tips and step-by-step suggestions, she prepares us for the landmines that are sure to be stepped on when people from different racial identities start talking and listening to each other.

Ms. Oluo covers it all: privilege, affirmative action, hair-touching, microaggressions, the history of the criminal justice system, the “N” word. She helps us to start the conversation and advises us how to do our best to recover when things go awry, paving the way for us to return, again and again, to these all-important conversations. In some cases, she gives us the actual language and words to say when we are at a loss. I wrote them down and I will practice them and hope that I will be ready when the time comes…and it will.

The National Review of Books call this “…a comprehensive conversation guide.” I couldn’t agree more. This is an engaging, user-friendly book, written in a direct, no-nonsense style that calls everyone to the table and guides us in getting the conversation going. One of my favorite quotes “We will not know what needs to be done if we are not willing to talk about it.” Easier said than done, but Ms. Oluo gives us the tools we need to have an honest and productive conversation.

Towards the end of the book, she also provides a handy list of groups that are working to fight racial oppression, if you are ready to get involved or send some financial support.

I got the book on CD, and it is amazing. Should be required reading for every American.

The advice that Ms. Oluo gives on how to have difficult but important conversations about race can be applied to any topic, and right now we need more than ever to have such clear instructions on how to disagree with someone constructively, how to navigate difficult discussions that are emotionally loaded, but necessary for healing to begin.

This book is a must-read if you think you understand race in America, and it's a must-read if you are baffled and confused about race in America.

I like to think of myself as educated, enlightened, compassionate, self-aware, and not racist. Does that mean it's 100% true? No. Does that mean I have nothing left to learn? No. Does all of this probably apply to you, too? Yes.

Oluo has written an important book that is completely digestible and fair as heck, quite honestly. Having done some reading on this topic already, I thought this book might be too entry level, but it completely gave me new things to ponder and new perspectives. Plus, it's so well written that it's an enjoyable read about a heavy topic.

I love this book! I met Oluo at the Women's Writers festival in Vancouver and was immediately struck by her message. Call me naive, but I feel like, in the past, I'd had only the slightest inkling about racial prejudice.Slowly but surely, I'm becoming awoke. I welcome the journey that lies ahead and I will do my best to heed Oluo's call to action.

I especially appreciated her chapter on "cultural appropriation." I've struggled with the subject for years and, now that I'm writing a novel set in Vancouver, Canada 1970—my characters include lesbians and an East-Asian Canadian and a First Nations woman—the issue of appropriation is of paramount importance. I'm sure Oluo's take on the subject—which she freely admits is complex—will be helpful.

I urge members of book clubs to choose this book. Although non-fiction, it is beautifully and powerfully written and will engender much discussion.

Wonderfully written, honest, insightful, and loving conversation with readers about racism in America. Since childhood, I have told myself I was not prejudice, but I see areas in my thinking that can still use improvement. All open-minded racists (if they do exist) would benefit greatly from reading or listening to this book.

Excellent primer on privilege, microaggressions and other concepts you’ve maybe been too nervous to ask about if you’re a well-meaning white person. It’s our responsibility to educate ourselves on the systems that continue to negatively impact people of color so that we can help in the hard work of tearing those systems down instead of continuing to enable them in our ignorance. You couldn’t find a better book to start or further your education. I thought I knew some, but this book opened my eyes and reminded me how much I still have to learn. This book is perfect and I am so grateful to Ijeoma Oluo for writing it. I’m sending all my relatives copies!

I loved EVERYTHING!! By the second paragraph it had already become one of my must recommend, must read, and must pass down to my children books. It's one of the best books out there!! It is educational, informative, important, and written for anyone willing to learn the truth about history and our current government. It has impacted my life and shaped me as a person. I hope there is a part two to this book.

This book is a must read no matter the race. Very well presented,thought provoking and conversation provoking also. The author presents her infomation very well and precise. This book should be read with an open heart, eyes and mind. I am sure you will see, feel and experience something you may not have normally. A must read. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publsiher for the ARC of this book in return for my honest review

I thought this book was OK. As a POC it was affirming of my life experiences and helpful to outline my role in assisting or collaboratively contribute in the promotion of racial justice discussions. It also enlightened me to where I need to continue to understand my privledge as well as my lack of acknowledgement of other POC not within my social consciousness.

...And this book will help you do it. Part autobiography, part how-to, Ijeoma Oluo does a bang-up job of parsing race in the United States, unapologetically offering her perspective as a black woman to help those of us who need help "getting it," and to offer support to other people of color. I knew it was going to be good, but it was even better than I had anticipated.

Oluo writes for those ready to have an honest and meaningful conversation about race. She is direct and commands the readers thoughtfulness and attention. I can’t wait to put this in the hands of students who are at the beginning of their intellectual understanding of the dynamics of race.

The whole book is an interesting read. The chapter on model minority myth related to me particularly as I am Asian American, Filipino American. Asian Americans are not commonly part of the racial equity discussion, as the stereotype is they shave advantages economically and professionally. However, that is not true of ALL Asians and Pacific Islanders. We have to advocate for all Asians as well and not allow this myth to divide us from other groups and cultures.

Have you ever had a difficult conversation about race where you felt like everything went wrong? Have you avoided talking about race because you're afraid you won't say the right thing? Do you feel like you should be doing more to dismantle a racially unjust political and social system?

Ijeoma Oluo has written a timely, clear, and comprehensive guide to tackling complicated topics about race. She answers questions like:
"Is it really about race?"
"What is the school-to-prison pipeline?"
"Why can't I touch your hair?"
"I just got called racist, what do I do now?"
...and more in a way that is concise, accessible, and backed by data. This book must have been an enormous undertaking to write, but the product is so perfectly executed that I couldn't help but read it in one sitting.

I truly can't recommend it highly enough. EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK. EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK MORE THAN ONCE. EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A COPY OF THIS AT HOME FOR REFERENCE. The only way to create systemic and cultural change is to engage in difficult conversations with those of the same race, those of different races, people in your family and your community and your office. And once you finish this book, don't stop there, because it's about more than one book by one person. Take the actionable steps Oluo includes in the book. Read other books, like The New Jim Crow and Sister Citizen and Stamped from the Beginning. Support POC in all areas of society. No matter where you are on your path to fighting racism, this book has something to offer you.

I've been educating myself a lot lately on how to have these uncomfortable, often hostile discussions with people who don't experience the same prejudice and discrimination as me, and I've found that Ms. Oluo gave me words. Thank you.

(To continue the discussion, you should follow her FB page as well.)

I've been following Ijeoma's writing for about a year, and I've learned so very much from her. I preordered this book as soon as it became available and it is everything I hoped for. Honest. Educational. Sometimes uncomfortable. So very necessary.

I am a social media follower of the author and I pre-ordered the Kindle edition of this book. After reading the first half, I just ordered two hard copies to give as gifts. I appreciate the topics that are tackled here and the frank, accessible way in which they discussed. The book exceeded my expectations, which were pretty high.

This a a book to refer to constantly. This is a book you should have on your phone so no matter where you are, you can look to it as a guide. This is a book that will guide you into understanding where we really are and will give you tools to navigate that true landscape.

This book should be required reading for....well, everyone? Oluo tackles a really tough subject in clear, direct, at times humorous, at times heart-wrenching language. This books makes me want to be a better ally and gives me some clear guidance about how to do that. It helps me think about the experiences of my students of color in a new way and with more understanding of some of the dynamics that might be at work in the relationships in our school. I'm looking forward to studying it with my colleagues.

An excellent book both communicating issues of race (specifically African American) and HOW to communicate about race. I highly recommend this book. I read it with a friend and we had great conversations.

This book reads like I am having one of my political discussions with friends. Ijeoma is one of my favorite authors of today! Every person in the US should read this! Break down your comfort zone, check your privileges, read this book and go out there and do real work to make a more equitable society.

This book is a fantastic introduction to talking about race (especially as a white person) and figuring out how to articulate why that conversation is so important. It's well written, but still simple enough that anyone can read it, and Oluo does a fantastic job of not "talking down" to the reader. I've been looking for a book to give my relatives to help start this conversation in our family, and I think I just found it!

She manages to make this a book with incredible depth yet also accessible to anyone, even those who may not be sure they’re ready for it. She explores some of our most difficult subjects with a clarity and ease that I haven’t encountered in a very long time, if ever. All of America needs to stop what they’re doing and read this.

This is the essential guidebook for those who strive to be better allies. Oluo's writing made me feel like I was receiving a gift from a dear friend, the gift of honesty. Her intention for making our communities and our world a better place shines through the difficulty of the subject matter. No wonder it's a best seller!

Using all the trendy buzzwords of the social justice warrior, Oluo makes her case, such as:

"...the benefits of these privileges are disproportionately large or at least partially undeserved when compared to what the privilege is for. These advantages can often be ascribed to certain social groups: privilege based on race, physical ability, gender, class, etc. But these privileges can also lie in areas that you may not have considered, like sexuality, body type, and neurological differences. It is in these advantages and their coupled disadvantages that the health and well being of large amounts of people are often determined. If we are truly dedicated to addressing systemic oppression and inequality, we must understand the full impact of these advantages and disadvantages in order to move toward real change in our society and ourselves."

When she's done believe me, you DON'T want to talk about race. She offers nothing profound, no new perspectives or insights; she's preaching to the converted. There's nothing here you haven't read before if this is your interest, and this certainly isn't a book to gift to someone who needs to take a broader view.

Better to spend your time reading wonderful writers like Roxane Gay or Chimimanda Ngozi Adichie or Janet Mock or Ta-Nehisi Coates. You’ll learn more about race from Michelle Alexander’s fascinating book The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age Of Colorblindness. Or the new book by the great and still neglected bell hooks.

Everyone should read this. Even if you think you’re liberal and woke, you’ll find The author dismantling views you may not know you still had. And giving you something you can do about it. Covering a lot in a little time, it’s got me thinking and listening for ways that I can be a better ally.

The author does a great job discribing aspects of race that can be confusing or difficult to talk about. There were many times that a question or objection came into my mind just before she addressed that very question. Very helpful!

This book is what America needs to begin to heal from the systematic racism pumping through the organs of this country. Oluo is an exquisite writer, a nuanced thinker, and clearly, a relatable, empathic, and brilliant person. In each chapter, she gives personal stories to allow readers to connect to the topic she's describing and how it manifests in daily life: topics like affirmative action, microaggressions, school to prison pipeline, model minority myth, etc. She also gives ACTION POINTS for how to address these issues better and in ways that minimize damage for people of color, while also offering affirmations that reaffirm the people of color's pain. Somehow, she manages to both articulate and validate people of color's experience, and explain, and clarify for White people in a way that makes this one of the ONLY books on race I've ever read that is useful for people of color and White people.

My only critique is that, understandably, based on her experiences, Oluo's examples and descriptions are most relevant for understanding Black-White racial dynamics, rather than all groups of color. She has an excellent chapter on the model minority myth for Asians which made me wonder whether the book was addressing "race" for groups beyond the Black/White binary, but then she doesn't have any chapters on LatinX, Native, or Multiracial groups--although she mentions LatinX and Native groups at some points (though Multiracial people are discernably absent).

I am a professor and was interviewed by graduate students. They asked if there was one book that I would recommend to prepare students to talk about race in a Multicultural Class--in order to minimize hurt experienced by people of color; I said this one. This is one of the books you read and decide to buy for everyone you know.

Just finished #SoYouWanttoTalkAboutRace by @IjeomaOluo - everyone should read this. She is more generous than we white people deserve and lays out concrete ways we can dismantle racism in our own lives and systemically. I hope she comes to Boston so I can hear her live.

This book explores conversations about race, particularly those that we are not having or ones that go badly. The author draws on her lived experience, reactions from her followers and taps into some reports but few scholarly articles or theoretical analyses to back her assertions. Notes do not begin until chapter six and they are slim. So, if you are looking for a thoughtful analysis of the topic that will lead to new insights and change the narrative on race, this is not the book for you. The book is both readable in that Oluo writes in a conversational tone; however, that same tone for the reader can be a bit weary...like you want to hang up the phone and not call back in a few months, if at all. Or more appropriately, since many of the anecdotes come from social media, unfriend her or no longer subscribe to her blog. Although the questions are of interest, I found much of the writing rambling and off point. It is targeted toward white people to have them learn about how to talk about race and stop being racist while people of color get to air their grievances and have some catharsis. She counsels to not make discussions on racial oppression comfortable for others (do not tone police), which is her approach in the book. Yet, that same tone sends off a strong message that whites only have a place in the race discussion as a "woke" ally to people of color (which is primarily just a discussion about blacks, although she does have a chapter on the Asian myth of model minority) and that people of color's role in the race discussion is to educate white people about oppression. The book confuses terms beginning with racism and does an unfortunate job of a rambling discourse (with no citations) on intersectionality. I really wanted to like this book as any insights into closing our ever widening racial divide is appreciated. I am disappointed that I cannot recommend this book.

It’s incredibly exhaustive and yet anyone can read it. It’s truly masterful, and should be required for every American. Seriously, it's a book I will hold on to and refer back to for YEARS. GET IT. Bonus: carrying it around lets people know “I can handle talking about race."

Ms Oluo addresses important matters of race and racism. However, as a person of color, I still long for a strong voice who will stand up for all of the aborted humans of color. Lets allow these lives to matter as we provide women who find themselves in unwanted pregnancies the support of our communities.

I very much enjoyed this book. Ijeoma Oluo takes complicated issues and unpacks them with a communication style that is clear and well thought out. She knows how to get to the heart of racial issues that have plagued the US for generations and put them into words. Highly recommend reading regardless if you have any interest in social justice whatsoever.

After listening to some of the audio book I’m guessing the reviews on this were somehow manufactured or white people were guilted or frightened into giving this book good reviews. It’s kind of like someone yelling at you until you capitulate to their point of view even if you stopped listening to the screaming after 2 minutes.

It's painful. Although, I think it's a great book to analyze the psychosis of an addicted and broken personality.

I had an addicted brother who recently passed from an overdose. His mind was full of conspiracy. At all times, all peoples, outside his cast, were against him. Even if a hand was stretched out to assist, he would be waiting for any potential shift of the eye, or a condescending word, to declare himself as god, as judge, what the internal intent of their actions were. It is a tragedy, as was his life.

The opening sentence begins something like, I have always known we live in a white supremacist country. Please, remember dear reader, this book was written after two consecutive presidential terms with a brilliant black man as president of the country. To declare that "the country" is a white supremacist country is delusional to the point of psychosis.

I firmly believe that there are racial norms to be challenged in the United States, that we all, in the words of MLK are called to "sit together at the table of brotherhood." But this book does not invite forgiveness and healing to then sup together. It is political blather that stokes the fire of separation, and in doing so, closing access to the table of reconciliation.