Goodbye Paradise

This book was previously released under the title, In Front of God & Everyone.

Okay, guys. I just have a weird obsession with learning about cults and just the psychology of it all. It's just really fascinating to me even though I feel terrible for people who were born and raised in them with no knowledge of a life outside of them. Josh and Caleb have lived their entire life in Paradise, a Compound out in the middle of nowhere, Wyoming where men take multiple wives, women are forced to wear dresses, and boys deemed unfit get kicked out of the only place they've ever known.

Josh is seen as a bit slower, a bit weaker on the ranch. Never quite being as fast as the other boys at working the fields or anything else requiring menial physical labor. He follows the rules, and keeps his head down. He believes it a sin based on what he's been taught his entire life, but he knows he loves his best friend, Caleb. Caleb is always helping Josh, so that Josh doesn't fall behind the others. But Caleb is always helping out everyone. Josh knows that one day, he'll be the one kicked out and left to survive the world on his own. Just as he believes that Caleb will be married one day, get his own little house, a plot of land, and wives. Multiple wives. And most certainly not a husband.

One day everything starts to spiral out of control and what Josh has always predicted will happen, happens. He's kicked out of the Compound and left to fend for himself. He's not completely oblivious to the outside world because he, Caleb, and the other children had gone to elementary school outside the Compound when they were younger. But now? Josh was supposed to wait for Caleb to leave the compound and come get him. Until then, he's stuck in a town he doesn't know, with $50 in his pocket, and left out in the cold night.

This book was surprisingly a punch to the feels, but also low on angst? I was expecting the worst to happen to Josh and Caleb at every corner. Gladly, nothing terrible came to pass and their story was lovely and heartbreaking at the same time. Two lonely boys at a truck stop trying to hitchhike from Wyoming to Massachusetts seems like a recipe for utter disaster, but I loved how everything turned out okay and how the characters they met on the way as they tried to build a new life post-cult is spread out over a long period of time. The journey to living life on the outside isn't an easy one. Especially for Josh, who never had a birth certificate because the Compound doesn't report the birth of all the babies born there, least the government catches on.

This story is told from large sections of the book told from either Josh's perspective, or Caleb's. I loved how the relationship between them was solidified early on, but also managed to keep their love for each other a constant throughout the book. These two boys are adorable and sexy. Their love is sweet and tender. *happy sigh*

I really loved this story and loved seeing their interactions and how they came to slowly adapt to their new lives. The secondary characters, Washington, Maggie, Dylan, and Chloe are all wonderful people. This is a warm book of acceptance and learning to appreciate the small things in life. Highly recommend and I can't wait to read Hello Forever!!

I was immediately intrigued by the originality of the premise. I'd never read anything set, even partially, in a religious community/cult. Even just this thing alone set Goodbye Paradise apart from every other MM romance, and book in general, I've ever read. Because, you see, their harsh religious upbringing had such a huge influence on the romance itself. But I'll get to that later.

Now, let's talk about the reason this book deserves all the stars. Josh and Caleb.

Josh is the gentle soul of the two. Not being born in the elite of the community, he grew up thinking he'd never be as good as the others in manual work, and that therefore he'd be "tossed away" from the community. From the very beginning, we know of his feelings for his best friend, Caleb. Feelings he tries with all his might to quench and to deny. Almost resigned to his fate, he doesn't know that Caleb has a plan.

When his worst fears become a reality, also his wildest dreams do. So the two boys find themselves alone, out in the real world, and finally give in to their passions and feelings. They manage to find a home at a friend's relative house, where they try to build their new lives, but decades of ingrained beliefs, guilt and other obstacles will test our heroes' strength and love.

Now, before this brief "trying-not-to-be-too-spoiler-ish" summarization, let me tell you what I absolutely adored.

The characters. All of them. They were so fantastically human. At first I was afraid Josh would be the weak-link of the duo, being so insecure and seemingly emotionally frail, instead he flourished at the farm with Maggie, little Chloe (Maggie's newborn daughter), his cows and just taking care of those he loves. He's just so innocent, kind and endearing.

Caleb instead is the more assertive one. He's good with engines and at making decisions. He knows what he wants, but is also conflicted. He's abandoned more than just an oppressing community and his past will catch up with him.

It was almost a relief for me to read about Josh being the strong one when it came to fighting for their relationship. At first, he was the more troubled one about being in love with another dude, while Caleb had embraced who he was without many reservations. But when hard times really hit, it was Josh who saved the day and fought for them. Also, seeing him interact with newborn Chloe was priceless. It melted my heart.

The two of them together oozed meant-to-be from their every pore. They were so different, yet they never question their love for each other. They were so great together, so in tune that it didn't bother me at all how soon the ILUs were exchanged. It made perfect sense to me that two people who'd been best friends since forever would finally claim their love for each other short after being free from their cult's thumb.

Also, the hot parts of this book were definitely meaningful. The perceived forbidden quality of their love added spice and a bit of desperation, especially at the beginning, while deepening their feelings throughout the narration.

The supporting characters were equally as amazing. Daniel, Maggie's husband with his acceptance but also frustration at seeing Josh taking such good care of his daughter; Maggie, so bright and alive, but also suffering from something many readers will be able to relate to. And then Washington, the truck driver who was the guys' true saving grace.

There weren't many plot twists or much angst in general, and I loved it. It gave the characters time to develop and to get used to being with the other, especially Caleb and Josh, given how, prior to escaping, they'd hardly been allowed to look or speak at each other freely.

All in all, Goodbye Paradise was a unique book, truly heart-felt and sweet, but not sugarcoated or make-believe. It was sometimes raw, overall human. I certainly know the ending will be loved by many, me included. Now I cannot wait to see how the story will go on in Hello Paradise

I love anything Sarina Bowen writes, but I have to say I think this is the most adorable M/M romance I’ve ever read. I had all the heart eye emojis while reading Josh and Caleb’s lovely, emotional, heartwarming story. I seriously ADORED this book! If you’re looking for a sweet, unique M/M romance, you’ll definitely need to read Goodbye Paradise!

Josh and Caleb grew up in Paradise, and for the past two decades, they’ve been living in this cult, working as laborers and getting few benefits from it. One perk of the job though, is the fact that Josh can be around his best friend Caleb… and he can long for him from afar. No one can know that Josh has got a crush on his best friend, who’s a guy, because they’ll be sure to kick him out of Paradise and leave him homeless. But that day comes sooner than later when the cult finds little use in Josh anymore. But when Caleb escapes so he can stand by Josh’s side, can they possibly start a new life together from practically nothing?

As they make their way to Massachusetts to find a woman named Maggie who left Paradise years ago and made a home for herself, Josh and Caleb are once again side by side, but now out in the open. It’s here that Caleb finally makes his move and shows Josh that it’s okay to love a man, because he loves Josh back. Despite how much Josh tried to keep his feelings hidden, loving Caleb was as easy as breathing and there was nothing that could stop him from being with the man he’s loved for so long.

"I reached up, circling him in my arms, pulling him down beside me. “I love you.” I could say that without guilt. Because loving someone wasn’t a sin. Other things… sure. But love could never be a crime."

I absolutely adored everything about Josh and Caleb’s story. The raw and beautiful love they have for each other was so simple and easy… it was everything surrounding them that made their lives difficult. But these two are nothing if not hardworking and persistent, and even before the end of the novel, I knew Caleb and Josh would survive and thrive in their new lives.

Goodbye Paradise brought out ALL the feels and emotions out of me. My heart honestly couldn’t stop overflowing with happiness over Caleb and Josh’s love for each other. They are absolutely perfect for each other – I can’t imagine a sweeter couple than them! I almost wish this book was longer, because I didn’t want to let go of their story. I loved this book – and I can’t wait for more M/M from Sarina Bowen!

“I’m so hard for you right now. That’s never going to change. Whether I’m stupid or smart, and whether you still love me anymore, or not. I never could help loving you. It’s just the way that I’m wired.”

I absolutely adore Sarina Bowen, the books she co-wrote with Elle Kennedy... Him & Us, are two of my all time fave books.
So when I found out she was releasing a new m/m, I was so excited to read it... and wow what a read.

Goodbye Paradise is Caleb and Josh's story
Both boys lived in a kind of cult called Paradise Ranch and have a really crappy life there.
Josh gets kicked out... Alone in a unknown world his best friend Caleb runs away to be with him and to protect him like he's always done.
Both guys have feelings for the other, but have always been told that those kind of thoughts were wrong and forbidden.
Now out and free in a totally different place, they start to understand that the feelings they have for each other are stronger than ever and that everything they've ever been told was all wrong.

I absolutely loved every word of this book!!!
Josh and Caleb's story gripped me from the 1st page
I really felt for these boys and all the struggles and horrible stuff they go through
I loved how amazing they are together and how loved reading how the relationship grew into a true love story... it was really beautiful to read

I have never read a book like this before, the cult/ranch and how the boys lived was really interesting to read about
I really enjoyed reading the journey these two guys go on... from living on the terrible ranch to them finding their true selves and places out in the "real world"
damn... just reading the friendship of two young boys grow into beautiful soul mate romance between two young men <3
These guys are truly perfect together

Goodbye Paradise is a book that stays with you long after you turn the last page

A 5 Star Unforgettable Read

4.5 Stars

“You want me,” he said simply. “It’s just that you don’t want to want me.”
“I’ve always wanted you. And I’ve always tried not to.”
“What if you stopped trying?”

I’ve got a confession to make – I’m sort of addicted to Sarina Bowen’s M/M romances! I went crazy for Him & Us (that she co-wrote with Elle Kennedy) a few weeks back and was excited to see that she had a few more to offer so I instantly scooped this up when it was recently re-released. I’m no authority on the M/M genre, but I definitely think that Sarina has a real knack for bringing these stories to life in a thoughtful, heartfelt way that will totally endear the characters to the reader and pull out all the feels! That’s exactly what happened with Caleb and Josh’s story and I’m so happy that I had the chance to tag along on their journey. And what a journey it was!

“You’re a gentle soul, Caleb.”
“Not as gentle as you,” I whispered.
And that was the truth.

Caleb Smith and Joshua Royce have never known a day without the other in it. Growing up in a polygamist religious cult in Wyoming, they’ve been best friends since the day they were born. Neither one had an easy time living at Paradise, but Josh had is especially hard. He was weaker than most of the other boys and had to work hard to not make himself a target, to further complicate things, he’s burdened by “impure” feelings towards his best friend. As hard as it is for him to keep up with the other boys, it’s even harder for him to hide his feelings towards Caleb. When Josh finds himself kicked out and all alone on the streets of a strange town, will Caleb be able to find him in time to protect him like he’s done his entire life? And now that they are out on their own, will they be able to find some place to go? And will Josh finally learn what Caleb’s been hiding from him all these years?

“I never could help loving you. It’s just the way that I’m wired.”

These two boys were just beyond sweet, Josh in particular, he was such a sensitive soul. It was easy to see why Caleb had always been so protective of him, it didn’t take long for me to feel the same way about him. Josh and his “babies” were the cutest darn thing I’ve ever “seen”! Caleb too, he had more “real life” experience than Josh (though, arguably it still was practically nothing) and was definitely the more macho one, but he still had a sweet heart and was sensitive in his own way. I loved the sort of dual journey they had to go on. Not only were they suddenly thrown into a strange world they knew virtually nothing about, they had to retrain their brains to fight years and years of ridiculous brainwashing, but they were also able to finally truly explore their sexuality which they’ve had to keep hidden for so long. The two things together are a mighty tricky combination, because you can just imagine the horrible lies that had been drilled into their heads regarding having feelings for another man. I loved seeing them navigating these uncharted waters, though, I thought that their struggles and their triumphs were portrayed beautifully. The story was so simple and some of the things they go through might seem mundane to most of us, but considering where they came from, something as simple as having a Coke for the first time turns out to be a profound experience.

I loved all of the secondary characters that we meet, as well. They come together to create this brilliant little family. It may be unconventional, but it works and the love and respect they all have and the way they support one another is truly heartwarming. This is just one of those stories that’ll leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside (but don’t worry, there’s still plenty of steam to heat things up, too!) and even in the moments of turmoil, there are still little triumphs that’ll have you cheering. I really enjoyed this story and look forward to the next book that’ll be coming out in this “series” so I can continue to indulge my Sarina Bowen M/M addiction!

“Caleb,” he whispered against my skin. “Just make me yours.”
“You,” I said, kissing him on the forehead, “are already mine. You have always been mine.”

Goodbye Paradise (Hello Goodbye #1) by Sarina Bowen
4.5 stars!!!

“Nobody gets to throw me away.”

Sarina Bowen totally swept the rug from under me with Goodbye Paradise, this was another blind read for me, no synopsis read, just an M/M read from an author who nails this genre every single time. From the moment I started reading Goodbye Paradise I was transfixed, totally transported into the lives of Caleb and Joshua, two young men stifled by the life they were born into.

Josh and Caleb are nineteen and twenty respectively and at the beginning of this book are still living within a religious, polygamist cult in a self-sufficient compound. The young men have no prospects and dependent upon your standing within the cult, the chances of ever getting married off and becoming “someone” are pretty slim, there are simply not enough women to go around. Those young men are deemed expendable when their “usefulness” expires or they go against the cult, unceremoniously dumped with fifty dollars to make a life for themselves when they have no credentials whatsoever, not even a birth certificate.

“My whole life I’d wished for things. But I’d never known how confusing it might be to see my wishes come true.”

Josh and Caleb were best friends, had been brought up together and were as tight as tight could be. Joshua had noticed that his feelings towards his best friend were becoming more and more dishonourable and it became hard to hide it. Caleb was “being promised” to another, his father had a higher standing and so Josh’s unrequited love was a hard cross to bear, even if it was a sin. Caleb had always been Josh’s protector, Josh wasn’t strong physically and being on farm duty was causing this to be more noticeable. What Josh lacked in strength though he more than made up for with a huge heart and compassion. Both Caleb and Josh were adorable in every single way, there was nothing I didn’t like about either of these two boys.

“I think you have it all wrong…A real man does what needs doing. He takes care of the people he loves. You know this instinctively, even though every man in your life treated you like shit.”

When it becomes apparent it is Josh’s turn to be “thrown away” Caleb makes a promise to be there with him and so these two embark on a journey to freedom and a voyage of discovery for both of these virgins (YES!!! VIRGINS!!!) It seems Josh’s affections were certainly reciprocated, Caleb was just better at hiding it.

The friendship that Caleb and Josh have was all-consuming, the way that Sarina Bowen gave these characters’ depth, heart and soul brought these characters to life in an instant and that character connection that I crave was prevalent in spades. I experienced life with them, the confusion, their growth from sheltered boys to men with life experience, to that leap of faith of being open and vulnerable, taking that next step and falling in love for the first time.

“I’m so hard for you right now. That’s never going to change. Whether I’m stupid or smart, and whether you still love me anymore, or not. I never could help loving you. It’s just the way that I’m wired.”

Goodbye Paradise was poignantly penned, masterfully crafted and was a perfect balance for the story being told. No unnecessary angst or drama, the character’s journeys spoke for them, held you captive with every single scene that came before your eyes. Josh and Caleb’s resilience, their strength for one and other and those around them and that the fact that the only thing holding them back from a future they both wanted was their own fears and insecurities.

“When I get to touch you, every awful day we’ve survived seems worth it.”

The secondary characters in this book were far from superfluous, all had their parts to play and Washington, the man that started their journey for them will always hold a special place in my heart. Maggie and her family were selfless to a fault and played a huge part in Caleb and Josh’s integration into the real world and to see that kind of support network was heart-warming. I did shed a few tears but the majority of my emotions were saved for those uplifting moments that were plentiful. The fact that these two were virgins brought some extremely emotional and tender moments that pulled at every heart string but once these two found their footings, Sarina Bowen brought out the big guns with some emotionally charged, steamy scenes. Loved this book!

I didn't lahhhahuuvvv Goodbye Paradise like I have with other books of hers, but I did really like it. Regardless of whether or not I lahhahuuvvv or like her books I always have an emotional response. I find her books cozy and homey which is what keeps me coming back for more. She does friends to lovers and family dynamics, whether it be through blood ties or choice, really well, and I tend to gravitate to the latter.

Just to give a bit of background, Caleb and Josh have escaped from the same religious cult that Zach from her True North (which is MF) series did. They make their way to a farm in Massachusetts instead of Vermont which has been established by Maggie, another runaway from the Compound in Wyoming, and her husband, Daniel. Along the way they get picked up by an OTR truck river named Washington who turns into their first real friend outside of each other and a great secondary character.

Caleb and Josh have been best friends since they were kids. Josh never really fit in on the Compound and they have a vile habit of culling the herd, so to speak. Good thing Caleb's been planning for this day and has a semblance of a plan.

Josh has been gagaover his BFF since forever but failed to realize Caleb feels the same and his cluelessness was pretty adorable. Once that little tidbit is revealed these two can't get enough of each other, so there's not a lot of tension building. Both virgins, both filled with pent up need and both crazy about each other, but both have lived their entire lives in a highly repressed environment which I think Bowen handled well. They don't hop out of the closet ready to hit a Pride parade in full on rainbow regalia, though Caleb definitely handles the transition with greater ease than Josh.

Josh carries a lot of shame and fear of rejection from those he's come to care about which makes him more cautious and wary of coming out. His reasons are justified and what made me really invest in them as a couple was the fact that Caleb didn't push. Their relationship strengthens and intensifies as their narrative unfolds.

"The world quieted down when I was in Caleb's arms."

Calesh (shipped!) are totes adorbs. I liked both of them as individuals and as a couple. They yin and yang perfectly. They have very little drama. They have chemistry out the wazoo. They're hard not to like.

I have to say I was surprised and maybe a little shocked at how bossy Caleb is during the sexy times and that he has such a potty mouth, but I ain't mad at it. He hit Google hard and made proper use of his time, it seems. Bossy in the bedroom is a hallmark of Bowen's and Josh likes to be bossed. A lot.

However, what I liked best about Goodbye Paradise, as I have with many of Bowen's works is how these two are accepted into this little community. Not just by Daniel and Maggie but Caleb's and Maggies co-workers, Washington and his wife and Miriam. They create their own little family and both of them begin to really figure out who they are, how to live freely and independently and what they want out of life rather than have it mandated by some religious fanatic with an ulterior motive.

Also, the HEA was very sweet and maybe caused an acute onset of allergies. Maybe.

There were a couple of editing issues that are uncharacteristic of Bowen's work but nothing too egregious.

If you're looking for a comfort read, look no further.

Sarina Bowen has completely knocked it out of the park with her newest MM romance. These boys are absolutely lovable, their story is heartbreaking and hopeful, and the writing, as always, is impeccable.

This story follows Caleb and Josh as they try to find their footing in the real world while navigating their feelings for each other, which they have had to repress for the last 19+ years. From the very beginning, readers hearts will ache for Josh. When first being introduced to his character, readers can tell his heart is pure and good, and that he lives his life trying to fly under the radar. What will really pull on the heartstrings, though, is his internal dialogue pertaining to Caleb and his unrequited love he has to suppress. Josh is incredible sensitive and even intuitive to the needs of others. Nurturing by nature, Josh excels at taking care of others, and once he escapes the confines of the compound, these attributes are seen as honorable characteristics versus ones to be ashamed of. Seeing Josh undergo such a transformation as the novel progresses is such a joy to watch, and I found myself feeling like Maggie and Washington, proud of him for who he became. Caleb is much more dominant of the two, the protector and provider. Readers will fall in love with him for the way he cares for Josh and for the way he gently pushes him for a public relationship without shoving him over the line. Caleb is constantly aware of what Josh needs and goes to great lengths to provide for him emotionally and physically. One aspect of his character that hurts to watch is his inability to let go of his guilt. He harbors a ton of self-loathing over what he feels he should have done to help certain characters in the story, which results in not only hurting himself but the people he loves most, especially Josh at times. Luckily, just as Josh does, Caleb evolves and learns to let go of the culpability he feels, allowing this couple to finally move on together from their experiences at the Compound.

I love the secondary characters of this story just as much as I love Caleb and Josh. They earn my adoration for the unwavering acceptance and support of both boys. Without these secondary characters, these two would have struggled to survive, to adjust to their new loves, and to find acceptance in the world for their love. Washington, Daniel, and Maggie all help and support them in their time of need, and their care for Caleb and Josh makes me love them all the more.

This story, like all of Sarina Bowen's MM romance, is just beautiful. Every moment between Caleb and Josh is filled with so much love, and even when readers get the climax of the story and the intense standoff between the characters, it is clear that love is what drives the confrontation. What makes this story so engaging is seeing this couple change and grow independently as well as together. Seeing them deal with the emotional damage of the compound, the struggle of going public, and the handling the conflict of the story not only serves to develop Caleb and Josh as a character, but ultimately weaves a story the exhibits the reformative powers of love. Together, these two heal and become stronger, showcasing all the ways love is transformative.

Goodbye Paradise will be going into my favorite romances, and Caleb and Jacob will be taking one of the top spots as one of my favorite couples. Their story is absolutely engaging from the beginning of the story with its fully evolved characters, story of hope and love, and artfully constructed plot, and Sarina Bowen exemplifies the beauty of love and promotes that idea that everyone deserves it and has a right to celebrate it, which is a message that should be read by all.

ARC received in exchange for an honest review.

Sarina Bowen. She's our hero. She writes some freaking amazing stories so you can rest assured that if she has a new one coming out we definitely want to get our hands on it.

Josh and Caleb have grown up secluded from the rest of the world in a cult called Paradise. Their experience is nothing like its name. Cut off from the outside world, they had a subpar education, a strict upbringing under sometimes impoverished circumstances. Josh and Caleb have always been close friends with Caleb looking out for Josh most of the time. One's standing in Paradise depends on what family they're from, and as a man how they can contribute to its survival. A person's place within this cult is never guaranteed. Josh knows that he's one of the weakest links and is not surprised when he's thrown out of the cult. What is surprising is that Caleb follows him. And that's how the adventure begins for Josh, the shy, naive and gentle soul looking for his niche and Caleb, the stoic and loyal friend who feels the burden to fix everything.

After enduring years of indoctrination, you want the boys to experience happiness. I think cynics will find some of the events that occur too good to be true. I can't say that I disagree entirely considering how as readers we've come to expect plenty of angst when dealing with a troubled past. However, this is about Caleb and Josh's coming of age under different circumstances, on their own terms along with the support of a newfound family. For the first time in their young lives, they can determine the direction of their future. They get to love whom they want. First though, they need to overcome the guilt that's been drilled into them. Then they have to accept who they are. Running away from a religious cult is one thing. Abandoning their way of life and their force-fed doctrine - it's all they've ever known. Coming to terms with their sexuality when they've never had a point of reference - that has to be incredibly overwhelming and confusing. It's harder yet when they're unfamiliar with the outside world.

Readers of the True North series will recognize the name of the farm that Caleb and Josh run to after their escape (Runaway Farms) but that doesn't mean you have to read that series in order to read this. I was pulled into this sweet story and loved every moment of it except for one where I unexpectedly felt a knife to the heart. It was a "gasp" and "wth?" moment. I kid you not! That's how consumed I became with the story and invested in these two as a couple.

Basically if you're a fan of Sabrina Bowen's then you want to read this. If you're new to her, read it. As usual she manages to explore complex situations by putting human faces to them, and she does it without shoving any agenda at you. I always appreciate that about her writing. You hope that Caleb and Josh get their HEA by the end. I just wanted to wrap them up in a tight hug and transfer all those years of love and kindness they'd been denied. I can't wait to see what happens next in Hello Forever.

If you have read Sarina Bowen's True North series a lot will sound familiar. This MM romance is set in this world and there are people mentioned we have met. It gives me a fuzzy, warm feeling being back in this setting.

Caleb and Joshua grew up as best friends. There hasn't been a day in their lives that they didn't spend time. The place they grew up at is called Paradise and it is everything but. In fact it's a polygamist cult with a strict hierarchy and rules. And if you don't follow them you're getting kicked out like garbage. What this means to a person who has never set foot into the outside world is unfathomable. But I'm rambling...

Josh is at the lower end of the food chain, his future at the compound looks bleak. Being bullied is a daily occurrence. The one person who lifts his spirits everyday is Caleb. He has secretly loved and been in love with his best friend forever but loving a man is a sin and will result in being thrown to the curb. However, it is not Josh's feelings for Caleb that gets him kicked from the compound but a missing gun and since he was the last doing inventory he is being blamed. Thankfully his loyal best friend prepares him and tells him to meet him at a bus station in Casper.

Caleb is at the top of the food chain and has benefits the other members of the cult don't have, like spending time outside of the compound. When he runs away from the cult he has already a plan: make your way to Massachusetts, where another runaway is located who is only waiting to give people from the compound a leg up. On their way they meet sleazy people, giving them a healthy dose of reality but also well meaning ones, giving them hope. As they get more alone time with one another they open up to each other's feelings...but Josh struggles getting 20+ years of brainwash out of his mind.

Ooops, that summary has become kind of long and I'm not even scratching the surface.

Both Josh and Caleb are deeply loyal. Josh is the sweet, shy and innocent - almost naive - one. He loves Caleb unconditionally and selflessly and trusts his friend to always do right by him.

As time passes Josh gains more self esteem. It was beautiful to see how he stood up to Caleb when the situation asked for it. I was cheering him on for being brave because he didn't let people run over him.

Caleb is the one in charge, taking responsibility and control even if it's misguided. He feels guilt for those he left behind at the cult and responsible to take care of Josh. He is the more adventurous of the two and the one with the self assurance. Caleb reciprocates Joshua's feelings absolutely but has always been good at hiding it. Finally he can act on them. These two are incredibly sweet and adorable together. You can feel their love for one another in every interaction and word.

Josh struggles with their new relationship, especially the sexual part of it. He is brainwashed and still considers being in love with a man a sin. Slowly with the help of modern civilization and Caleb he comes to accept that it's OK to love a man.

What made me take off half a star was a situation towards the end when Caleb acted a little bit out of character. It wasn't like him to be closed off and to shut out his best friend. I felt that was used a little bit for drama's sake. Eventually Caleb groveled and redeemed himself though.
The relationship building between them worked very well, however, and I think the reason lies in them being so very different and complimenting and completing each other. They just worked.

Steam, wit, hilarious and heart-wrenching moments, and a heart full of love for the main and side characters - it is what you will get when you read "Goodbye Paradise". I enjoyed myself immensely and I can't wait to get my hands on the next one in this series. Sarina Bowen's landscape and situation description is one of a kind and her writing style has become a favorite of mine.

Let me tell you all about this story :) because, and that is a given when it comes to Sarina and her books, I absolutely loved it... was it perfect? not exactly, but I couldn't help inhaling it and absolutely loving every minute of it :) #NoRegrets :) are you guys ready for some more details? worry not, spoilers free as always :)

I have to start with our main couple... Caleb and Josh grew up in a cult... in the middle of nowhere... they were best friends for the longest time, but Josh definitely had other feelings for Caleb... so imagine his surprise when after Josh has been kicked out and dropped like a thing and not a person on the side of the road, which Caleb warned him might happen, he is joined by none other than the man of his dreams himself... apparently the run-away-together plan was always in the works... as friends of course... ;) so they decide to get to one place they know they'll get help, to Maggie's farm... who also run away a few years before them... I know that this explanation is all vague, but I don't want to get into too many details, especially since it's all described sooo much better in the book :) so instead let me tell you how much I adored both Caleb and Josh... since Caleb's family was more important in the cult, he is much more independent and knows more about the outside world... that makes him also more confident... Josh is definitely much more insecure, but after running away from that horrible place, his confidence slowly starts to grow... I adored both of them :) especially that there is a reason, which is pretty obvious for us readers, but it takes Josh a moment to realize, why Caleb was so determined to join Josh on the run... ;) they are absolutely wonderful together, and seeing them discover all those feelings between them... *sighs dreamily* Sarina did such an amazing job with it :) I sort of don't really want to tell you much more about what exactly happens with them and how they come to terms with everything that happened with them and around them, cause I think it will be a much better experience for you if you actually know less... ;) if that makes sense.. ;)

Another great thing I need to mention when it comes to a book written by the lovely Sarina is... secondary characters :) no matter how many of them there are in the story, they always add soooo much :) in case of this particular story I want to mention Maggie and her husband Daniel :) they welcome both of them into their home with open arms, helping them adjust to living in the outside world, and teaching them everything they need to know to become more independent... they have troubles of their own along the way, but are so supportive... :) there were actually quite a few more, but I want to leave them as a surprise for you... :) after all, it would be boring to know every important person to the story before actually reading it, now would it? ;)

Long story short, I absolutely loved this book... :) it was yet another easily given 5 stars rating... :) I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is just something about Sarina's writing style... her unique brand of mixing hilarious and sexy scenes with much more serious and emotional ones... her way of creating flawed characters that we cheer for from the very start... even if they make mistakes along the way that makes us want to smack them on their heads... ;) #TrueStory ;) this particular book is written in 2 POVs, which means that we get parts of the book from Caleb's perspective, and then other parts from Josh's point of view... and that is definitely my favourite writing style :) I inhaled this book very quickly, and can definitely highly recommend it to you guys :) it's was such a warm story, that made me wanted to curl under a blanket and hug both of the main characters... :) so absolutely go one-click this gem, so you can see for yourselves how lovely it is :)

Incredible, though really, I wasn't expecting any less from Sarina :) There's a special story behind this one, but I'll get to it later on. Joshua (Josh) and Caleb grew up in a (highly religious) cult (oddly named Paradise), which isn't the only reason their lives were miserable. But they find themselves out quicker than they expected. For Caleb it was only a matter of time, not if. But while Caleb was PLANNING it, Josh just knew he'd be thrown out one day for being useless around the farm. Well, maybe not totally useless, but slower and less capable.

Most of the story is told from Josh's POV, though we DO get enough of Caleb to understand and see who he is. They both have many insecurities, but in the end they are strong and even more so together. But they didn't do it all alone. Maggie and her husband Daniel had a HUGE part in helping them find their home and build together a family. Maggie used to be a part of the cult as well, but she ran away a few years back. Now happily married to Daniel, she made her best to make people at the cult know (the ones who needed to know really) that she was out there, and she was waiting for anyone who needs help after they got out. Caleb took the opportunity and when Josh was thrown out he run to him and they both made their way to her outstretched hands.

If this reminds you of something you probably aren't mistaken. Leah and Isaac from "True North" did the same for Zach. These three are actually also survivors of the same cult, though there's only one instance in which they are mentioned.

Josh and Caleb's journey, to Maggie, and to happiness was long, but every step of the way was simply beautiful. There were so many things - big and small - they didn't know about life, about the outside world, even though Caleb was a bit "better off" because he made deliveries for the cult (being the grandson of someone important). Maggie and Daniel were a lifeline, but they weren't the only ones, it actually started with George Washington believe it or not! :)

Caleb and Josh found a true home with Maggie and Daniel, though at first they were mostly unsure about their place, it became obvious as time went by how much they were important and how much they meant to both Daniel and Maggie (and baby Chloe as well). Yet one thing remained a secret Josh was absolutely terrified of revealing to them - the fact he and Caleb are a couple. While Caleb was mostly concerned with his "worth" in the financial way, wanting a better future for him and Josh to live in, Josh was struggling with his identity, fearing the life he dreamt of - being with Caleb - would cost him the new family he just found.

I'll stop now because I have a feeling I'm already saying much more than I should, though I DID make an effort to leaving out something pretty important not to spoiler. This book was heart breakingly beautiful. Once I started it was almost impossible for me to put it down. Can't wait to get my hands on the second part of the story - "Hello Forever" (to be re-published later on 2017).

But before I go, as promised - the story behind this one is that two years ago Sarina published this book (and the next part) as "In Front of God and Everyone" (Pay it Forward, #1) under the pen name Nealy Wagner, as they were her first MM Romance novels. Realizing she should have published them under her own name since most of her devoted readers (like me!!) totally missed them, she is republishing them now under her name with a "better suited" name (people thought it was religious because of the title which it ISN'T).

Tags: Contemporary MM Romance

More @ Ultra Meital Reviews.

Goodbye Paradise is the first book in the Hello Goodbye series. I actually didn't even know the name of the book when I signed up to read it. I have read of a few of Sarina and Elle's books as a duo but this is the first solo one I have read by Sarina. I am so kicking my a- for that. Anyway. This is Caleb and Josh's story. It's definitely a unique one.

Josh and Caleb have known each other their entire lives. There hasn't been one day in their lives when they were apart. Their lives have been very sheltered. Living on a compound with their families and others. A religious cult is the best way to describe it. All of their lives Caleb has been watching Josh's back since people see Josh as a weak link. Unlike Caleb. And with years of bullying Josh believes he is useless. Unwanted. And weak. Caleb is the one that wants to prove to him that it's not true. And then one day their lives were forever changed. Josh was throw away like trash on the side of the road. It was time. Caleb wasn't completely prepared to run away but he wasn't going to let Josh do this alone. They would take on the outside world together. But first, he had to get to him.

Josh has been hiding his sins for years. Even from Caleb. His best friend. The only one he has ever truly loved. He knows that Caleb would do anything for him but this? A life on the run. A life without a plan. Without money. Without safety. He didn't understand why but what he doesn't know is that Caleb has his own sins hidden underneath his scars. Could they actually do this together and make a life out there in a world they have never seen before. Sure, they went to public school for a few years but Josh hasn't stepped one foot outside of the compound in ten years! And before that it was only school. He has never even seen coffee. At least Caleb had a license and was allowed to go to town once a week. This was all so new to them both. Freedom. But what now? All they have is what they left with. Will they be able to find a place to live? A job?

I loved this story! It has some very serious and real issues. It also has a beautiful love story between two strong and amazing men. Caleb and Josh have some obstacles thrown their way. Some big ones. I love them!! I want to go into the book and hug them. Teach them to bake. Not cook. I hate cooking. To sit with them and watch junk tv. To get a hamburger with them. Everything! But for real...they are so lovable. I also loved the supporting characters. They have so much love to give.

Overall...it was amazing. Unique, beautiful, sexy, heartbreaking, heartwarming, and fun. It gave me all the feels. The writing made it all feel so real. I can't wait to see what's next up in the series.

Quotes:

“Okay. That’s a game for a different day.”

“What?” he asked, his eyebrows arched in confusion. I smiled.
“You amaze me, that’s all,” I whispered.

“She doesn’t like me. She can tell I’m afraid. The way a dog smells fear.”

Well Sarina and Elle introduced me to the first MM romance Him/Us and I loved it. So, I was super excited when Goodbye Paradise was announced and after reading it the verdict is in – SARINA is the QUEEN of MM romance … well amongst all other genres that I love as well

Paradise Cove is a sweet childhood friends to lovers romance. Joshua and Caleb grew up in the polygamist/religious cult where they lead an extremely sheltered life from the sinner’s world outside. The boys work all day. The girls take care of the men and marry off young to the nasty old leaders.

I fell in love with Caleb and Joshua right away. Joshua is a dreamer, gentle, caring, and sweet but he was made to feel worthless, weak, and ashamed by his very own existence. Of all the things he was accused of Joshua only has one sin – loving Caleb. Caleb is confident and strong, but a gentle giant. He secretly covers for Joshua as much as he can. The little things that he does for his friend just make me all misty eyed. Caleb is a little more mysterious – he guards his feelings and no one knows what he is thinking for sure, not even Joshua.
In this society, the weakest links will eventually get thrown out and that’s exactly the fate of Joshua one night. Caleb was a little more acquaintance with world due to his family connection. Caleb could not imagine leaving Joshua to fence for himself so he soon escapes to find his friend. How will Joshua and Caleb survive in the outside world that they know nothing about?

So the first few chapters were about the cruel life Caleb and Joshua endured in the cult – this part was quite emotional and sad. The next few chapters were very thrilling – it described their escape, who they met and how they got to where they settled. The rest is about their life in the outside world and journey to find peace and love. I think what I anticipated was a little more drama with the cult leaders when they found out Caleb had escaped with Joshua they might have gone after them. I also thought somehow this horrible place might have been exposed at the end. But I guess these are not really the main focus of the story. Paradise Cove is more about Caleb and Joshua’s new life journey. It’s about love between friends and lovers. It also showcased the kindness of people that still exists in the world. I thought this book had all the feels – a little bit of angst, sadness, lots of steamy sex, and romance. Overall, it was a heartfelt story of survival, second chances at life, and unconditional love. Sarina’s story-telling is always exceptionally good. I was captivated by the characters and the plot right away and could not stop until the end. Another well written romance!!!

4.5 Moving Stars!

Josh and his best friend, Caleb have spent their lives in Paradise--a place the modern world would call a controlling polygamist cult. They had very limited freedom, exposure to the real world, or support, and were used mostly for labor. Josh was seen as mediocre and expendable. So when he was cast out, his friend, Caleb follows.

Josh has kept a secret for years--that he has impure thoughts and love for Caleb, which is a punishable sin in their old world. But he could never imagine that Caleb could feel the same. But even though they spent every day together, it seemed that their oppression and fear had them both hiding things from each other, as well as the others in the Compound in order to keep each other safe.

This is a best-friends-to-lovers story about two men experiencing the real word and sharing real feelings for the first time. They are bonded by history, friendship, and love that they had been afraid to admit. It is also an adventure and coming of age story for these guys just trying to find happiness and be themselves. They have enemies, but also allies. I really liked Washington, Maggie, Daniel and Miriam.

I loved Josh and Caleb together. Caleb is definitely the leader and more confident. Josh is anxious and more unsure. But their connection and feelings are tender, passionate, and unbreakable despite what they've been through. They are thrust into a whole new complicated world, but at least they have each other and new freedom.

They both have opportunities for growth. Caleb is used to trying to control things and taking responsibility for situations that are not his fault. Josh is more of a nurturer and sometimes is afraid to stand up for himself or what he needs. They will need to trust, find empowerment, and be able to let go of the guilt of the past before they can have a chance at building their future. They are truly seeking acceptance, purpose, and unconditional love and support. I loved the progression of their relationship from admitting feelings, to firsts, to trying to build something real in a different and sometimes intolerant world. And for two virgins, they are pretty hot and passionate together.

It has good messages about being yourself and paying it forward. And illustrates how you can make your own family and how important a true home is. It is told in long chunks in Josh's point of view, then Caleb's, and then repeated. It pulled me in from the first page and kept me captivated with their heartfelt story. The characters were likable and had depth. The story line had challenges, surprises, and layers of unresolved feelings that had to be dealt with. There was some drama. There were so many feels and swoons.

I am glad that Sarina Bowen re-released this book giving more of us an opportunity to fall in love with Josh and Caleb. I am looking forward to the next book in the series, Hello Forever, which is supposed to be a stand alone but promises that we might see Josh and Caleb again too.

This is one of those books that makes you believe in the young people’s resilient spirit and the kindness of strangers. It was sweet, hopeful and just encouraging that people can recover after horrifying childhoods peppered with traumatic experiences.

This story was told from both Caleb and Joshua’s POV as young people trapped in a cult where the elders usually kept 4-6 wives, some as young as fourteen. Consequently, boys over the age of 14 were considered a threat to their family structure and were sent to live the bachelor quarters. The young guys considered “weak” usually disappear from the compound after they are reach age of majority. Joshua and Caleb grew up together as best friends and live together in the bachelor quarters but it was generally understood that Joshua was a weak link. So, when Joshua was thrown out close to a bus station with $50, Caleb ran away to join Joshua.

From the beginning, it was clear that the bond between Joshua and Caleb was stronger than just mere friendship. It was ardent, devoted and passionate. It was as though their hearts were always bound together from day one but it had to be hidden. Once outside the confines of the religious cult, Joshua and Caleb had to learn how to deal with the feelings that they had been taught were sinful and perverse. Joshua struggled a lot harder than Caleb. I struggled with Caleb’s seamless transition from accepting his feelings to use of cuss words. I was expecting the guys to have some difficulty adjusting to the “outside” life as well as some language barriers since cult language seems to be more biblical and less informal/conversational in secular society. In addition, this story lacked the angst that I expected from boys tormented by the cult leaders. It’s almost like their past was forgotten. There was no mention to save those left behind or even rescue other boys who were sure to be discarded like Joshua.

Regardless of those issues, I found the love that blossomed between Caleb and Joshua to be so sweet and endearing. In Maggie and Daniel’s home, Caleb and Joshua found freedom, acceptance and finally, their talents. There were wonderful secondary characters that made this story richer. From Washington, Daniel, Maggie & Chloe, the supporting cast helped make this story heartwarming. Caleb and Joshua would have had a much harder and rougher time but for the continual support of the secondary characters. Most of all, I love that they all helped Joshua find his voice and gave him the strength to use it. Joshua was the one I rooted for the most because I am always drawn to the underdogs of the world. His development made this book for me.

If you want a super dramatic, angst-filled story, this isn’t it. This romance was a steady and emotionally even love story, not just between two guys, but a makeshift family.

Josh and Caleb grew up in Paradise, a compound in Wyoming that to the outside world would be considered a cult. Polygamist, closed off from the outside world, Josh and Caleb grew up in a strict, sheltered setting where rules were rigid and consequences stiff. While Caleb has some standing in the community based on his family, Josh has little and is seen as a mediocre worker. But Josh also carries a secret that threatens his safety in the community. At night, he lusts after his best friend.

When Josh finds himself homeless and stranded, will Caleb find him in time? Will they find a safe place to live? And will Josh be able to admit his true feelings for his best friend?

The setup of the cult like compound Josh and Caleb grew up in was detailed and provided the perfect setting for their background. In just a few short scenes, the culture of their childhood is thoroughly fleshed out. Though they were raised in the same culture, the effects of their childhoods are different and take each a differing amount of time to sort through, especially as they struggle to come to terms with the attraction between them.

There is so much packed into this one book. Their time on the ranch, their journey to safety, and their education on the outside world acted as markers along the path of the overall plot. Each piece was as important as the others, and the combination of everything they faced proved a challenge even to Caleb who had a slightly more worldly experience.

I love the character of Washington and the connection he forms with the boys. This story would have gone a completely different direction without his influence, and even though he was relatively quiet and was only present for a short part of their overall journey, he was a pivotal character.

This is so much more than I was expecting. Josh and Caleb learning to live in the outside world, to love openly, to trust, to let go of the past was full of challenges, especially because of the way they were raised. I was worried they wouldn't be able to sort out the challenges they faced, especially when their struggles only seemed to grow. Even though Caleb seems to have his head on straight, he has some underlying thing to face as well. While Josh and Caleb were new characters to me, I loved the loose ties to Sarina’s True North series. Knowing Josh and Caleb were from the same place as Zach was the initial pull to find out more about Paradise and the people who survived that upbringing.

Sarina Bowen’s books are just so damn satisfying…always entertaining and engaging me in ways that seem perfectly fit for the time and place in my life. Goodbye Paradise was a romance that warmed my heart when I was beginning to feel like maybe my book funk was going to be permanent!

Josh and Caleb have lived on a compound for a religious, polygamous cult…think Warren Jeffs and the LDS…all their lives. They’ve had minimal contact with the “outside world” and their futures were tied to the ins and outs of the expectations in this community. Caleb, being bigger and stronger, was more suited for this world. Josh’s future, precarious. Yet their friendship, and Josh’s growing feelings for Caleb, tied them together.

When they eventually escaped, and then had the freedom to admit and explore their feelings for one another, a sweet but challenging relationship began to grow into a powerful love between two touching characters.

What's to Like:
The loyalty between Josh and Caleb was so fierce, I had such confidence in their ability to make their relationship work, despite the obstacles in their way. I love a “love conquers all” story!

What's to Love:
Though the book was very sweet, the author didn’t take the easy way out with the things that the boys had to face both in the cult and outside of it. I went through the full gamut of emotions with this one!

Beware of:
I know there are people that hesitate with reading what they might call “religious” books. This one really didn’t have any doctrinal content. The cult was more a description of a location and a culture rather than a religion.

This Book is For:
If you enjoyed Keira Andrews’ Amish Romance series, it’s hard not to make some comparisons. However, this one was less angsty and a bit more contemporary on the “outside world” parts. Also, it’s a no-brainer for fans of Sarina Bowen’s writing.

What a wonderful emotional story of deep love and forever family and friends. They'd been friends since they were little, two boys and a girl; happy with their friendship and lives. But, as we all know, that can change in an instant. Lives forever changed when the adults in their lives became part of Paradise, a harsh polygamist setting; where the weak are thrown out like trash, where women have no choices. Read of the courage it takes to move forward after being discarded or the strength to run away to help someone you've cared for all of your life. This is a marvelous story of love always there but hidden and the joy of discovering their hidden passion. It's also a story of the kindness of strangers and the deep friendship and love of those who also lived and escaped Paradise. This is the first time I've read this author and it won't be my last.

Oh, Sarina Bowen, you’ve done it again. You’ve written a book that is so painfully sweet, heartbreakingly powerful, and yet so incredibly innocent, that it touched my very soul. You took me to a world that I knew a little about and pulled back the curtains, showing me how it imprints itself on its inhabitants and molds their view of what’s right and what’s wrong…even long after they leave it. You made me feel for these characters immediately and had me willing to fight to defend them.

I adored Caleb’s straightforwardness and strength. I loved his protective nature and his desire to do right by all. And, of course, I couldn’t get enough of his devotion to Josh and his willingness to take things slowly for him. My heart fluttered as I watched Josh come into himself…as I watched him learn what this new world was like, and let go of the expectations that his old existence placed upon him. I loved his silent strength, his willingness to fight for what he wanted, and his ability to put himself in unknown and uncomfortable situations if necessary. But mostly, I was amazed by his exuberance as he learned that his feelings, wants, and needs we absolutely normal. And, of course, I loved his unshakable love for Caleb. The chemistry between these two was undeniable. That might have been because they were lifelong friends, or maybe because they were taught that their love was a sin…but I think it was because they were absolutely perfect for each other.

This book was a wonderful journey. It was a story that didn’t dwell on the negative nor did it wallow in the past. These characters always looked to move forward and live the life that had been denied them. It was a story of exploration and of love. I must also add that it was a breath of fresh air to have secondary characters that I enjoyed as much as the main ones. Each had depth and contributed greatly to the story. I could have happily stayed with them for a thousand more pages.

Thank you, Sarina, for giving me a story without tiresome drama or unnecessary angst…thank you for focusing on the pleasures, the struggles, and the overwhelming joys of being accepted and loved for who you are. I look forward to seeing what you’ve got planned for me next!

I've been curious about Paradise, Wyoming ever since we met Zachariah in the True North series. There's something about the "compound" cult life that makes me uneasy ( like everything) and I was very interested to see this world as created by Sarina Bowen. Josh and Caleb are two characters I was anxious to meet. Turns out that Josh and Caleb would capture my heart.

When we first learn about the compound it's quickly laid out that there are different classes of individuals, basically humans versus slaves and Caleb and Josh are clearly in differing roles. But they've known each other all their lives and are best friends so when the worst comes to pass, everything changes for both of them and an amazing journey begins.

Josh's predicament and how he came to feel about himself is utterly heartbreaking. He has been treated so poorly so every time he thinks about whet he deserves in life, hot tears formed in the back of my eyes. I came to see him as a gentle giant; pragmatic yet sensitive and so much smarter then he thinks of himself. As the story develops we see Josh transform. Caleb on the other hand, well he knows what he feels and can't believe Josh has never seen through his facade. There's so much love and adoration between them and they quickly became one of those couples, the kind you find yourself rooting for with every breath.

Life leads them to a safe and secure place, and their relationship blooms as they assimilated in the outside world. Mistakes are made, misunderstandings and fear win out so we get the requisite angst. But all in all, this is just a beautiful story about friendship and true love, and two young men beating the odds and what they were born into. Another 5 star read of one of my favorite and certainly a #oneclick recommended author!

Goodbye Paradise is an M/M story about Josh & Caleb who escape a cult to live a better life.
This book was at first published under the name "In front of God and Everyone" by Neally Wagner. I'm so glad Sarina decided to release it under her real name because I would have miss a lovely story between two endearing characters.

Don't be scared about the religious undertones because it is absolutely not the focus in this book. With Goodbye Paradise, you have the journey of two young men who need to escape to love freely.

Mostly told from Josh pov, you'll find the innocence of someone who has never had a chance in life. Born in a family without privilege, always belittled by others, Josh knows he won't stay in the cult. He loves his best friend Caleb from as long as he can remember but he thinks the feeling is not mutual.
Josh has a charming innocence. He's oblivious to a lot of things surrounding him but he's eager to learn.

Caleb has always been the lucky one of them. Born in the right family, he doesn't think twice to help Josh whenever he can. Escaping with him was a no brainer either. He's tired of pretending and he's most of all ready to live the life he always wanted with the man he loves.

The fact both of them are already so attached from the start was both great and bad. Great because two men together are always hot but then I missed the angst that comes with not knowing how the other is going to react to the attraction.

I enjoyed the story because there were so many messages underlying:
- Follow your dreams
- Never give up
- Love freely in a world with so many prejudices
- Always believe in yourself and in what you are capable to do
- The value of frienship
- ...

Yet the author keeps it light and lovely at the same time.

I'm already eager to read the second book in the series. At first I thought we would have a book about Trey but it seems Hello Forever will be a complete standalone. Bring it on ^^

Another winner for me from Sarina Bowen. I lost myself completely to the romance and sweetness that was Goodbye Paradise.

"Being with Caleb was all I ever wanted, even if I couldn’t have him the way that I wanted."

For those of you who have read Sarina's Bittersweet series, you'll remember that Zack, and a couple of others, were former residents of a religious cult in Wyoming. Which is where we begin Caleb and Josh's story. Deprived of everything we take for granted, with women subservient to the men and the youngers lives planned for them by the elders, naturally two men falling in love is a sin. Both Josh and Caleb have hidden their sexuality and their feelings from one another and everyone in the compound, but when Josh is evicted, Caleb takes his chance: away from the cult, their lives can begin and together they begin discover each other.

“You like anything you see?” I asked, moving slowly to tease him. “Always."

Told from both Josh and Caleb's POV, Goodbye Paradise sucked me in from the get go. These two young men have experienced something few have and that made for a captivating emotional journey. They're sweet, but the passion between them is intense as they experience all their firsts and they were so endearing with it. But what I wasn't entirely expecting so much was just how important a part the secondary characters would play: this is their story too and that is invaluable to how life pans out for Caleb and Josh. I loved Maggie and Daniel, the support they showed, their own struggles and the emotional aspect their side story added.

This was home, though. And for once in my life, I felt like I belonged."

Goodbye Paradise is just another example of why Sarina Bowen leapt onto my must-read list in 2016 and I'm so looking forward to discovering what Hello Forever holds in store.

As with everyone, upon reading the blurb, I sorta expect this story to be a bit sad, since we are dealing with a religious cult. But that isn't the tone of the book, it was actually very sweet and swoony for these two virgin young men who grew up in a polygamy community. The best part is with the title Goodbye Paradise and they both actually left the so-called Paradise early on in the story. From then onward is about them navigating the unknown future together, which is awesome to say the least.

Talking about the cult, I'm sure everyone who read True North series remember dear Zachariah. There is a mentioned about him, but too bad we didn't get more. How great to actually merge these two series together, huh.

Josh and Caleb spend their childhood together and when Josh got tossed out of the compound, Caleb isn't far behind to reunite with him. Josh has been harboring a forbidden crush on his best friend, but it isn't something he is going to admit anytime soon. Told in both their POV, Goodbye Paradise is a feel good romance about two innocent men finding their way around love for the first time and of course I always love a good childhood sweetheart story.

We have a few good Samaritans in the story that show us there is still hope for humanity and Josh and Caleb are so lucky to meet them in the time they need help most. I enjoy their journey of discovery the world outside of the compound and finding where their future lies, especially with each other.

There is a big bump on the road towards the end when Caleb had a moment of insanity that I had shouting my dismay. But thank goodness, everything work out fine and we manage to catch of glimpse of Josh going all gung ho about something for once. Josh is such a meek character and a homebody that we thought Caleb is going to walk over him, but fear not, alpha Josh is a sight to behold.

GOODBYE PARADISE is an amazing read with plenty of heartwarming scenes and beautiful characters.

Josh is an absolute sweetheart; one with a very kind and gentle soul. Having been treated badly at the farm, he feels worthless and like nothing he does is ever good enough and, because of their religious upbringing, he also feels ashamed of his feelings towards Caleb. But over time, and with reassurances from Caleb and their new friends, he slowly begins to let go of everything that was drilled into his head his whole life to find peace and happiness within himself.

Caleb is the more confident, skilled and dominant of the two; he wasn't bullied like Josh was because he held some rank at the farm. He's also a natural protector and spent most of his days at the farm shielding Josh. I would go so far as to say he has a slight hero complex, because his need to protect sometimes went too far and he often felt responsible for things he had no control over.

I not only loved Josh and Caleb, but almost everyone else in this story too. Washington was their saviour when they needed one and seemed to become a father figure of sorts. Maggie (a farm runaway from years before) was a lovely young woman who helped them adjust to life outside the farm. Maggie's husband, Daniel, was a cool guy who had no problem opening up his home to strangers in need.

GOODBYE PARADISE has loose ties to the True North series, but you don't have to read those books to understand and enjoy this one. GOODBYE PARADISE is told in dual POVs and comes with a lovely HEA for Josh and Caleb. I truly hope we'll be seeing more of them in the future, and I'd also like to see a book about Maggie's sister, Miriam, because that young woman needs some happiness in her life after what she endured at the farm.

Sometimes the hardest book reviews for me to write are for the books I enjoy the most. I fell truly, madly, deeply in love with Goodbye Paradise by Sarina Bowen, and even though I’ve spent a day trying to find something insightful to say, basically all I’ve got is that you should read this book.

I have a confession to make. Sarina Bowen never steers me wrong, but I put off reading this book. Cults are freaky. The last romance novel I read that took place in a religious cult setting was so utterly depressing I felt emotionally drained reading it. I had to double-check that it was, in fact, classified as a romance. So yeah, I was hesitant, but I swear I hadn’t even finished the first chapter and I was hooked. I devoured this book in a day and I wanted to go back for seconds.

The effects of growing up in a repressive religious commune as a deeply closeted gay man are long lasting for Joshua. He is such a gentle soul, but others see him as weak and disposable. Fortunately, his best friend, Caleb, is strong and wise and has always had his back. Unfortunately, Josh has secretly been in love with Caleb for ages.

The way Josh and Caleb re-build their lives post-cult is so touching. I adored every tense, sweet, vulnerable, and joyous minute of their phenomenal journey. The friends they make along the way are easy to love. Profoundly moving, I believe this is some of Sarina’s best work. And she definitively proves that she’s no lightweight in the sultry department. Caleb and Josh’s chemistry is of the nuclear variety.

If you’re a fan of M/M romance, you should read this book. If you believe in love being a beacon in the darkest of moments, give this book a try. If you just want to escape and feel encouraged for a few hours, I highly recommend Goodbye Paradise.

Joshua has always been different, and in a cult that's not a good thing. Being gay is definitely not a good thing. Being in love with your childhood best friend? Can't get any worse. As Josh reaches the age of 20 he realises there is no place for him in the community where polygamy is accepted, there are men with four or five wives and no-one is going to make room at the table for him, even if he wanted a bride.

When a gun goes missing and Josh was responsible for doing the inventory he knows the time has come, but before he leaves his best friend Caleb says he will come after Josh. This is Josh and Caleb's story. It's about learning to live in a society which has very different rules and morals from the one you grew up in. It's about finding acceptance and new family with people who love you. It's about finally being yourself.

Set in the same world as Keepsake, this is a charming, uplifting story of how love triumphs over all.

Another winner from Sarina Bowen, halfway through the second book in the series.

Josh and Caleb may have escaped from the polygamist cult in Paradise, but building a new life from nothing isn't all that easy, especially with the attraction between them getting more difficult to hide or deny. With the help of a good samaritan, they make their way from Wyoming to Massachusetts, seeking refuge with another former Paradise resident.

Maggie and her husband Daniel open their home to Josh and Caleb, where they find everything awkward, including exploring their sexuality with their benefactors within earshot. The building relationship delivers on the heat between Josh and Caleb as they make good use of their alone time. Equally interesting was how Josh and Caleb had to deal with accepting Maggie and Daniel's hospitality and the influence of their religious upbringing.

I loved just about everything in this book. The characters are immediately engaging and I fell right into the story of Josh and Caleb building their life from nothing. Maggie and Daniel were awesome too, and there was a sense of goodness and honor throughout Goodbye Paradise that just warmed my heart and left me smiling.

The ending was unexpected and gut-wrenching in that good way. I don't want to give anything away, so I'll just say again that I loved everything about this book. It kept me up reading to the finish in the wee hours of the morning.

Recommended.

Goodbye Paradise shocked me with how much I enjoyed it. In all honesty I was nervous that it would be too involved in religion being that it was about members of a cult. But I had nothing to worry about because that wasn't the case at all. The main focus was on Caleb and Josh, and the cult just happened to be where they came from. I was happy that it didn't have too much of an impact on the story.

Though, it certainly had an affect on these characters but the author wrote them in such a way that the troubles they had adjusting to life out of the cult only added to the story. I really liked that we got to see how Josh and Caleb helped each other and trusted one another a great deal. Neither of them had a problem needing help and I loved that about them.

Josh was the one that had a harder time getting used to life not led my the cult leaders. His struggles really made me like his characters because I loved seeing him push through and not give up. He was my favorite character out of the whole book and I just adored him.

Bottom line, this is a must read for all M/M lovers and I think most people will love these two together as much as I did.

Goodbye Paradise Playlist:
All We Know - The Chainsmokers
Roam - Theia
Not Going Home - DVBBS
Trouble - R3hab
Faded On You Love - Griffin Stoller
Love Gun - Tess

Caleb and Josh are raised in a cult in Hicksville America. Five women for every male leader, and a bumpy ride to the local bus-stop for any male that's outlived his usefulness.

Josh is about to be tossed out, but Caleb isn't letting him go alone.

I wasn't sure how I felt about this at first. I really liked how innocent Josh came across, it was very believable. I was worried for a bit that Caleb was going to remain more developed as a character, but that wasn't the case. The book is emotional, I walked away from the heart still feeling echoing sadness about the education and childhoods the characters never got to experience.

I absolutely recommend this, but it is a drama, so be in a headspace to deal with some angst.

Sweet, innocent, and with a budding understanding of a new world is how Joshua is seen in Goodbye Paradise. It’s been awhile since I’ve read a book about religious cults and the ramifications from that type of upbringing. It’s surprising and heartbreaking, having to watch young people being stripped from their families and then being thrust out into the real world when they threaten the powers within.

Lucky for Joshua, he had a friend. A friend that has been with him since the very beginning; a stronger more accepted friend within the confines of their group. Someone who isn’t slow like him, who is more skilled, more liked, and that will not be thrown out because he can’t measure up to what expected.

When the time comes and the evidence points to a negative demise for Josh, he never expected his friend, Caleb (the man he has longed to be much more than friends with) to come to his aid. He must be grateful and not let his sinful thoughts ruin this friendship or hinder their ability to survive.

What happens next is a wonderful tale of love, strength, acceptance, and courage. It’s a perfect read for any fan of an underdog story.

All the Stars

This book is beautiful, it encompasses so many important issues that make you stop and think. It's full of uncertainty and fear, and then acceptance and understanding. It redefines family, it is full of love. I adored Josh and Caleb's story. My heart broke for them, for the hand they were dealt in life but then Sarina swooped in and gave me this wonderful love story in the middle of all that sadness and grief.

Josh and Caleb find themselves suddenly out on the streets and outcast from the 'paradise' they were raised in. Misunderstanding, shame and longing build the foundation for this story. Can they build a life away from the only home they've ever known? Can they come to terms with who they are now that nobody is watching and monitoring them?

I would also like to take a second to appreciate how smoking hot certain scenes in this book were. There is so much innocence and adorable firsts shared, and it makes for fabulous story telling. Seriously, there were parts that had me fanning my face and I'm relatively new to M/M stories! Definitely a must-read for lovers of this genre, or really anyone who loves a tragically beautiful love story.

Sarina Bowen never fails to write with her heart.
This book tackels a really difficult subject like a boss. That subject? Overcoming the cruelty that is heaped upon anyone who's different.
I love Josh and his tender heart so much and watching him slowly crawl out of his shell and find his strength was nothing short of riveting.
And Caleb, with his strong spirit and caring soul? These two men were amazing together.
This book is sweet, and sexy and the heat between these two men is so so good.
The battle that Caleb and Josh fight to overcome almost everything they were taught will keep you turning the pages long into the night.
And along the way we meet really good, kind, caring people. Helps to remind us that yes, there are still good people in the world.
There's a message inside the pages of this book and for me it was to never stop fighting for what you want. Because eventually dreams do come true.
Reviewed for FMR BookGrind Blog

**No idea why this other author name is listed here. It isn't listed that way in iBooks or the store.**

This latest book from one of my favorite authors does not disappoint. Bowen does a great job tracing the journey of the two protagonists from an isolated religious cult to freedom in Massachusetts. Caleb is anxious to shake off the remnants of the cult's influence but Josh has a harder time unlearning all the things he was taught, especially those that made him feel unloved, unworthy and unable to be himself.

The reader will enjoy watching these two find their way in this new world as well as finding their own worth, something that is much harder for Josh. Several scenes are heartbreaking and the precipitating event is crushing. I felt like I was there experiencing the torment, that's how great a job the author does in writing it.

Highly recommend this book...as well as all the others of Bowen's various series.

A beautifully written and narrated tale of two men who escape from an oppressive religious compound and navigate the open world and their feelings for each other.

At times, this book brought me to tears, to anger, to disbelief and to joy. While not religious, this is a book about finding freedom to believe in yourself, in love, and in the true meaning of family and community. Contrasted with the oppressive nature of the secretive and controlling religious compound the MCs grew up on, their definitions of love, family, and community take a 360 degree turn.

A lovely book which is even lovelier listened to. I especially connected with Josh's character and his arc in this story, and the narrator did a magnificent job bring him to life.

I love Sarina Bowen’s story telling. This book was so hard to put to down when real life called. I read it into the late-night hours.

Josh and Caleb’s struggle with life was heartbreaking, loving and sweet. This is just the story I love to read. One where they are struggling to find themselves and their place in the world as a couple. It is so well written. The tender moments will have you swooning, the hot ones fanning yourself. These two share a love that you can only hope to find yourself. This story will stay with me for a long time. I can’t stop thinking of these characters, hoping for more. I loved the story of where they came from and how they overcame the life they were dealt. I highly recommend this one for all readers.

OMG!!! All the feels!!! This book will hit you straight in the heart. This story was phenomenal. There were times I had trouble reading through those pesky tears coming out of my eyes. Caleb and Joshua have definitely left their mark on my soul. The storyline was incredible and flowed effortlessly from start to finish. The emotion just pours off the pages, testament to the love that was dedicated to writing this story. These two characters have to not only have to learn how to be with each other, they also have to learn to live in the outside world. This is hands down the best m/m book I have ever read. I cannot wait to see where this series will lead next.
Reviewed for FMR Book Grind

Joshua and Caleb have a lot of preconceived notions and insecurities to battle, considering where they’ve grown up. They’re very different men. While Josh is more of a homebody and gentle spirit, Caleb is willing to sink his teeth into the real world. But even he is afraid to communicate what he wants from Josh.

After all, when the one person you want could very well reject you, isn’t it better to hide your feelings? Communication doesn’t always work to your advantage.

The supporting cast in this story is super. I’m looking forward to reading more books in this series. Sarina Bowen never disappoints. 4.5 stars

Goodbye Paradise is Sarina Bowen's latest venture into M/M territory. It's a complete standalone but mentions a few things about Zach from Keepsake, but reads perfectly by itself.

Josh and Caleb escaped a religious cult to live life on their own in the free world. We follow their story of hitchhiking, learning about life outside of religion and coming into their own as a couple.

I know I rated this book three stars and that's abnormal for me considering my love for Sarina's writing. It is a great story, I'd love to even have more from them in the future. The only thing that truly rubbed me the wrong way was Caleb's sexual prowess. I'm not adverse to alpha males, I love them. I just didn't understand why and how Caleb knew so much about sex, sex terms, etc. while living in a cult for his entire life? They were sexually repressed. They'd never kissed each other let alone a woman before but Caleb just had all the bases covered. That was a slip for me.

As I stated previously, I absolutely adore Sarina's writing and enjoyed this story. I'm not discounting it at all and you may love the book and find my negative point to be moot and dumb, that's the great thing about books! No two people read the same thing.

Goodbye Paradise wrecked me y'all. It grabbed my heart, broke it, then made it whole again... in the sweetest way.

Josh and Caleb's story isn't all sunshine and roses. The things they endure to find their happily ever after are agonizing but they never give up.

If you've read Keepsake by Sarina Bowen, you've learned a little about the scary-as-hell ranch/cult where Josh and Caleb were raised. (It's the same one where Zachariah was raised.) It's an insanely "religious" "community" and the boys lived an extremely depressing life until they made their escape.

Escaping a place like that isn't easy. Josh and Caleb risked life and limb to get away and the chapters describing their escape had my heart pounding.

This book follows Josh and Caleb's journey to find happiness through an emotional roller coaster of emotions. There are heart-breaking moments that brought me to literal tears and there are heart-warming moments that made me smile. The emotional roller coaster doesn't stop until the very end of the read but when it's finished the emotions you're left with are worth the ride.

I give Goodbye Paradise 5 out of 5 Krissy's Stars.

I'm so glad that Author Sarina Bowen made the decision to re-release this story. It holds a powerful message of love and acceptance that needs to be shared.

Xo-K

*I was generously given an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I loved this book! This author is already a must one click for me but this seals the deal!
Male/Male is done so well by Sarina Bowen <3
This will definitely be read again, Josh and Caleb <3 Gah, I loved them!
So good...every word, those two together, Josh is just so sweet...one click this book today! Five huge stars from this avid reader and big Sarina fan!

Another 5 star gem from this author. Talk about friends to lovers...
Set within a cult, I was fully engaged by the sweet (and HOT) love story. It felt real and evoked real emotions for Josh and Caleb.
I am never disappointed with Sarina Bowen books and this one was no exception.

Sarina Bowen is quickly becoming a "must read one-click" author for me. This book is no exception. Well written and a joy to read. It was Bowen who sparked my interest in M/M Romance, starting with Him. Highly recommend that one as well.

This book is republished book is was before called In front of God and every one under the author Nealy Wagner, I almost bought this book again. Though I did really enjoy reading it, and is a awesome book it should say republished..

What a great read!! Absolutely loved reading about Caleb and Josh! Both grew up with a secret and learned to lean on each other. When they were finally able to be together, it was such a pure love built on a strong foundation of friendship. Loved watching them learn to stand on their own. Can't wait to read more!!

I was immediately intrigued by the originality of the premise. I'd never read anything set, even partially, in a religious community/cult. Even just this thing alone set Goodbye Paradise apart from every other MM romance, and book in general, I've ever read. Because, you see, their harsh religious upbringing had such a huge influence on the romance itself. But I'll get to that later.

Now, let's talk about the reason this book deserves all the stars. Josh and Caleb.

Josh is the gentle soul of the two. Not being born in the elite of the community, he grew up thinking he'd never be as good as the others in manual work, and that therefore he'd be "tossed away" from the community. From the very beginning, we know of his feelings for his best friend, Caleb. Feelings he tries with all his might to quench and to deny. Almost resigned to his fate, he doesn't know that Caleb has a plan.

When his worst fears become a reality, also his wildest dreams do. So the two boys find themselves alone, out in the real world, and finally give in to their passions and feelings. They manage to find a home at a friend's relative house, where they try to build their new lives, but decades of ingrained beliefs, guilt and other obstacles will test our heroes' strength and love.

Now, before this brief "trying-not-to-be-too-spoiler-ish" summarization, let me tell you what I absolutely adored.

The characters. All of them. They were so fantastically human. At first I was afraid Josh would be the weak-link of the duo, being so insecure and seemingly emotionally frail, instead he flourished at the farm with Maggie, little Chloe (Maggie's newborn daughter), his cows and just taking care of those he loves. He's just so innocent, kind and endearing.

Caleb instead is the more assertive one. He's good with engines and at making decisions. He knows what he wants, but is also conflicted. He's abandoned more than just an oppressing community and his past will catch up with him.

It was almost a relief for me to read about Josh being the strong one when it came to fighting for their relationship. At first, he was the more troubled one about being in love with another dude, while Caleb had embraced who he was without many reservations. But when hard times really hit, it was Josh who saved the day and fought for them. Also, seeing him interact with newborn Chloe was priceless. It melted my heart.

The two of them together oozed meant-to-be from their every pore. They were so different, yet they never question their love for each other. They were so great together, so in tune that it didn't bother me at all how soon the ILUs were exchanged. It made perfect sense to me that two people who'd been best friends since forever would finally claim their love for each other short after being free from their cult's thumb.

Also, the hot parts of this book were definitely meaningful. The perceived forbidden quality of their love added spice and a bit of desperation, especially at the beginning, while deepening their feelings throughout the narration.

The supporting characters were equally as amazing. Daniel, Maggie's husband with his acceptance but also frustration at seeing Josh taking such good care of his daughter; Maggie, so bright and alive, but also suffering from something many readers will be able to relate to. And then Washington, the truck driver who was the guys' true saving grace.

There weren't many plot twists or much angst in general, and I loved it. It gave the characters time to develop and to get used to being with the other, especially Caleb and Josh, given how, prior to escaping, they'd hardly been allowed to look or speak at each other freely.

All in all, Goodbye Paradise was a unique book, truly heart-felt and sweet, but not sugarcoated or make-believe. It was sometimes raw, overall human. I certainly know the ending will be loved by many, me included. Now I cannot wait to see how the story will go on in Hello Paradise

I absolutely adore Sarina Bowen, the books she co-wrote with Elle Kennedy... Him & Us, are two of my all time fave books.
So when I found out she was releasing a new m/m, I was so excited to read it... and wow what a read.

Goodbye Paradise is Caleb and Josh's story
Both boys lived in a kind of cult called Paradise Ranch and have a really crappy life there.
Josh gets kicked out... Alone in a unknown world his best friend Caleb runs away to be with him and to protect him like he's always done.
Both guys have feelings for the other, but have always been told that those kind of thoughts were wrong and forbidden.
Now out and free in a totally different place, they start to understand that the feelings they have for each other are stronger than ever and that everything they've ever been told was all wrong.

I absolutely loved every word of this book!!!
Josh and Caleb's story gripped me from the 1st page
I really felt for these boys and all the struggles and horrible stuff they go through
I loved how amazing they are together and how loved reading how the relationship grew into a true love story... it was really beautiful to read

I have never read a book like this before, the cult/ranch and how the boys lived was really interesting to read about
I really enjoyed reading the journey these two guys go on... from living on the terrible ranch to them finding their true selves and places out in the "real world"
damn... just reading the friendship of two young boys grow into beautiful soul mate romance between two young men <3
These guys are truly perfect together

Goodbye Paradise is a book that stays with you long after you turn the last page

A 5 Star Unforgettable Read

Well Sarina and Elle introduced me to the first MM romance Him/Us and I loved it. So, I was super excited when Goodbye Paradise was announced and after reading it the verdict is in – SARINA is the QUEEN of MM romance … well amongst all other genres that I love as well

Paradise Cove is a sweet childhood friends to lovers romance. Joshua and Caleb grew up in the polygamist/religious cult where they lead an extremely sheltered life from the sinner’s world outside. The boys work all day. The girls take care of the men and marry off young to the nasty old leaders.

I fell in love with Caleb and Joshua right away. Joshua is a dreamer, gentle, caring, and sweet but he was made to feel worthless, weak, and ashamed by his very own existence. Of all the things he was accused of Joshua only has one sin – loving Caleb. Caleb is confident and strong, but a gentle giant. He secretly covers for Joshua as much as he can. The little things that he does for his friend just make me all misty eyed. Caleb is a little more mysterious – he guards his feelings and no one knows what he is thinking for sure, not even Joshua.
In this society, the weakest links will eventually get thrown out and that’s exactly the fate of Joshua one night. Caleb was a little more acquaintance with world due to his family connection. Caleb could not imagine leaving Joshua to fence for himself so he soon escapes to find his friend. How will Joshua and Caleb survive in the outside world that they know nothing about?

So the first few chapters were about the cruel life Caleb and Joshua endured in the cult – this part was quite emotional and sad. The next few chapters were very thrilling – it described their escape, who they met and how they got to where they settled. The rest is about their life in the outside world and journey to find peace and love. I think what I anticipated was a little more drama with the cult leaders when they found out Caleb had escaped with Joshua they might have gone after them. I also thought somehow this horrible place might have been exposed at the end. But I guess these are not really the main focus of the story. Paradise Cove is more about Caleb and Joshua’s new life journey. It’s about love between friends and lovers. It also showcased the kindness of people that still exists in the world. I thought this book had all the feels – a little bit of angst, sadness, lots of steamy sex, and romance. Overall, it was a heartfelt story of survival, second chances at life, and unconditional love. Sarina’s story-telling is always exceptionally good. I was captivated by the characters and the plot right away and could not stop until the end. Another well written romance!!!

4.5 Moving Stars!

Joshua has always been different, and in a cult that's not a good thing. Being gay is definitely not a good thing. Being in love with your childhood best friend? Can't get any worse. As Josh reaches the age of 20 he realises there is no place for him in the community where polygamy is accepted, there are men with four or five wives and no-one is going to make room at the table for him, even if he wanted a bride.

When a gun goes missing and Josh was responsible for doing the inventory he knows the time has come, but before he leaves his best friend Caleb says he will come after Josh. This is Josh and Caleb's story. It's about learning to live in a society which has very different rules and morals from the one you grew up in. It's about finding acceptance and new family with people who love you. It's about finally being yourself.

Set in the same world as Keepsake, this is a charming, uplifting story of how love triumphs over all.

Another winner from Sarina Bowen, halfway through the second book in the series.

Goodbye Paradise is one of those gems that you'll never forget once you read it. The beginning of this story gutted me. I will never understand how there are people in this world that hide behind religious beliefs to do horrible things to others.

I knew that these guys' story was going to be a bit hard to read about, especially the beginning. Josh's way out of the cult was cruel and a hard pill to swallow for me, I have to say that at one point I felt myself sitting on the floor right next to him, I felt his pain in my soul. My heart went out to him and his fear became mine. Due to being able to experience the world outside the cult where they lived, Caleb was more knowledgeable of his surroundings. I loved the way that he starts showing Josh their new way of living, how patient he was.

Their journey is one full of fears, despair, regrets, sexual awakenings, hope and finally acceptance and happiness. The author gave us extraordinary characters (Washington anyone) that help the story reach beautiful heights.

This has to be my favorite book by Sarina. I savored every step of Josh and Caleb's journey and I will, without a doubt, read it again soon.